Shows
You Are Not CrazyWhy Abusers Believe Their Own Lies with Paul ColaianniWhy do emotionally abusive people double down on false narratives, deny reality, and convince themselves they’re the victim—even when they’re causing visible harm?I'm joined by Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse podcasts and creator of The Healed Being program, one of the few resources for people who have been emotionally abusive and genuinely want to change.We unpack one of the most confusing dynamics in abusive relationships: the distorted thinking that abusers use to justify their behavior and the self-protective systems that keep them from taking accoun...
2025-07-301h 11
Having It A.L.L.The Secret Consequences of Being Authentic and Transparent with Paul ColaianniPaul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life rife with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a...
2024-08-151h 12You Are Not CrazyWhat Recovery FEELS Like with Paul ColaianniToday, Paul interviews me! Paul Colaianni brings his unique perspective as both a former emotionally abusive person turned healer. He shares that abusers often employ grooming tactics like mirroring their victim’s interests to gain trust before turning the tables to exert control. I recount my personal battle with emotional abuse. I describe how she lost touch with her intuition and began conflating my needs with those imposed by my partner.Key takeaways from this conversation include:🔹 Understanding how to differentiate between needs and wants in relationships🔹 Learning the importance of maintaining individual identity within partners...
2024-08-1449 min
Untoxicated PodcastEp245 – Emotional Abuse with Paul ColaianniEveryone knows what physical abuse is, and it is clearly not acceptable in modern relationships. What makes emotional abuse so sinister is that it is often justified by perpetrators in disbelief and hard to identify by conditioned victims. On this episode, Sheri and Matt welcome Paul Colaianni - behavior and relationship coach, and host of The Love and Abuse Podcast. Paul shares the issues that often lead to emotional abuse, ways to understand if you are a victim or abuser, and actions you can take to change patterns and behaviors. Plus, Paul has a really cool radio voice that makes...
2024-05-271h 25You Are Not CrazyNavigating Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni: Q&A EpisodePaul Colaianni joins us for a Q&A episode on Emotional Abuse. We discuss the challenging emotions that come with leaving an abusive relationship, and how understanding these emotions can be the key to reclaiming your personal power. We also delve into the complex territory of setting boundaries in abusive relationships - a stark contrast to the way boundaries function in a healthy relationship.We shine a light on the healing journey post-abuse, focusing on self-reflection, self-validation, and the concept of re-parenting oneself. Paul candidly discusses his personal journey toward healing and offers invaluable advice to anyone...
2023-11-1551 min
Toxic Love TransformationHave You Ever Wondered WHAT THE F***K is the ABUSIVE Person Thinking While They Are Destroying Your Life? Special Guest, Paul ColaianniPaul Colaianni is a behavior and relationship coach and the host of love and abuse a podcast about helping people navigate difficult relationships.Love & AbuseThe Overwhelmed BrainSHOW NOTES: 3:16 - Post-divorce landscapes: Embracing change and self-discovery while reentering the dating scene.7:02 - Beyond labels: A deeper look into hurtful behavior in relationships.9:42 - Mind matters: Unraveling the reasons behind relational behaviors.14:09 - Paul’s transformation: From relationship toxicity to self-illumination.19:36 - Predictive patterns: Using past behavior to foresee relational dynamics.22:20 - The primacy of...
2023-09-1841 min
BOOKS. READ. THRIVE.Episode 11: The Overwhelmed Brain with Paul ColaianniPaul Colaianni (KO-LEE-AH-NEE) is a behavior and relationship coach, and the host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse podcasts. He failed at all of his romantic relationships until he figured out that he was the common denominator for all his problems. At the start of his divorce, he went on a journey of reflection, self-discovery, healing, and study to become the coach and teacher he is now. Today, he lives in Atlanta, Georgia with his fiancée Asha.In This EpisodePaul’s websiteThe Overwhelmed Brain podcastThe Love and Abuse podcastPaul’s trainings
2023-09-1233 min
Help A Human Out*RERUN* Loved Ones and Abuse with Paul ColaianniHow do we help the people that we love who are in abusive relationships? It’s a hard question that many of us have asked ourselves before. For Kenzie, she wants to help her mom, but she doesn’t know how. On this episode of Help A Human Out, Ms. Danielle talks with author, speaker and podcast host Paul Colaianni about abuse and what we can do to be there for those we care about.Follow @hahopodcast on Instagram for more! Paul Colaianni:https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/IG: @theoverwhelmedbrain
2021-09-2252 min
Break the Cycle with DSDWords and Behaviors Manipulative People use when you break up ft. Paul ColaianniPaul Colaianni the host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love & Abuse Podcasts joins Duane to discuss the words and behaviors manipulative people use when you want to break up with them. Paul is the author of the book, “The Overwhelmed Brain Personal Growth for Critical Thinkers” and developed The M.E.A.N Workbook an assessment & healing guide for difficult relationships.
2020-11-181h 05
The Overwhelmed BrainWhat to do when the judgments come out of youAre you more judgmental toward those you love? Today I talk about how your judgments can dissolve the love in your relationship and what to do to heal from being judgmental. The road to healing from judging others can be challenging, but the rewards are too rich to pass up. For more episodes, visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/
2020-09-0953 min
The Overwhelmed BrainCan there be peace and balance in an unbalanced relationshipSome people have a strange way of balancing their lives. Some folks will pick up a hobby or hang out with friends. But others may take a darker route. They'll betray their partner or become addicted to drugs or alcohol. You may not see that as balance, but for some people, that's how they get it. There are of course healthier ways to balance your life & your relationships, but in this episode, we're going to talk about the less popular ones. For more episodes, visit
2020-09-0659 min
The Overwhelmed BrainPracticing non-confrontational ways to honor yourselfSometimes honoring yourself around others feels confrontational. The reason is because you may not have honored yourself in front of certain people, so they may not have ever seen you show such self-respect and self-compassion before. If that's the case, you might have to ease others into this new you so that they have an opportunity to adapt. Sometimes this works, other times, you get to find out exactly what they really want from you. Visit for more episodes.
2020-08-301h 16
The Overwhelmed BrainWhat to do when you're going nowhereIf you're on a road that you believe is never going to end and never going to get better, what do you do? Should you just accept that's your lot in life and you should just accept it? Or do you take a leap of faith in a direction that leads to the unknown in hopes that life will get better? There is always hope, but sometimes it has to be pursued. Visit for more episodes
2020-08-231h 09
The Overwhelmed BrainThe regrets and leftover emotions after someone diesWhen someone we love passes, it leaves a hole in our heart and sometimes a lack of closure. It's that lack of closure that keeps us in feelings of guilt, regret and other emotions that we just can't shake. If you'd like to heal and move past those feelings and start living life again, this episode may help you achieve that. Visit for more episodes
2020-08-161h 01
Knowledge For Men ArchivesThe Unexpected Path to Emotional Fulfillment and Life Long Happiness With Paul ColaianniBest-selling author and Personal Empowerment Coach Paul Colaianni is the host of the top-rated personal growth and development podcast called The Overwhelmed Brain. Having gone through a dysfunctional upbringing, many failed relationships, and several life-changing events including a breakdown in the desert a thousand miles from home, Paul started a journey of healing and growth that led him to where he is today: teaching others how to make the right decisions that lead to self-empowerment. Favorite Success Quote “The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision” Key Points...
2020-08-1253 min
The Overwhelmed BrainDo people think you're stubborn for honoring your boundaries?Honoring your boundaries isn't always easy. Some people will think you're being a jerk or stubborn. Some will even say that you're changing in a bad way even though it's good for you. Get clear on what you will and won't accept from others and your life will change for the better. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes.
2020-08-091h 05
The Overwhelmed BrainWorking through those old emotional triggers so that you can stop the PTSD and start living life againEmotional triggers are what develop when you go through a traumatic event in your past, then the memory of that trauma stays with you and comes up at different times causing you to feel upset, hurt, or angry, which can affect your relationships and your life. Experiencing an emotional trigger is like PTSD and it needs to be healed if you want a higher quality of life. Visit for more episodes
2020-08-021h 12
The Overwhelmed BrainThe intimacy that happens behind their backCheating and infidelity can be a sensitive topic. You could be a victim to it, you could be the cheater, or you could be the one seeing someone who is cheating on their partner to be with you. No matter what, there is almost always heartache on the other side. It doesn't mean there isn't healing, but there is almost always pain. In this episode, I receive a message from a woman who is seeing someone cheating on his wife to be with her, and I read another message from someone who was once the cheater. Several angles to discuss...
2020-07-3144 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen loved ones resist the decisions you need to make for yourselfSometimes you have to make a decision you know will have an impact on everyone else, even when your decision doesn't really affect them. They just make it their issue when it's really yours alone to deal with. In the first segment, I read a message from a transgender man who had to make a lot of hard decisions in life. In segment two, I talk about the hard decisions you might need to make in your life when you face resistance from those closest to you. Visit for more episodes.
2020-07-261h 04
The Overwhelmed BrainDepression or the blahs shouldn't be a way of lifeIf you've suffered depression and haven't found your way out yet, or you've found your way out but it still sneaks up on you, I share some strategies in this episode that may help you feel just a glimmer of something better. Visit for more episodes.
2020-07-2341 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWalking around as an adult with dysfunctions from childhoodThere are many dysfunctions that can be learned when you're growing up. Many come from trauma, neglect, or abuse, but others can come from seemingly innocent things too. We don't know the full impact our childhood had on us until we're older trying to relate to other people that aren't those we grew up with. In this episode, I read an email from someone who has learned a lot about her childhood dysfunctions and how she is finding her way out of them.
2020-07-191h 10
The Overwhelmed BrainEmail grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when you have trouble forgiving someone who wronged youI read two emails today. One on getting ghosted while dating. A young woman cannot find someone to continue dating because they keep disappearing! And the second segment is about forgiveness and wanting to hate but stopping yourself because of your values or spirituality. Visit for more episodes.
2020-07-1646 min
The Overwhelmed BrainShould commitments always be a forever thing?Getting that job, buying that house, moving in with that person, promising to repay a debt... all commitments that that most of us go into with good intentions but is it required to keep them no matter what? Some commitments may need to be re-evaluated to make sure the same criteria still applies. Visit for more episodes.
2020-07-121h 05
The Overwhelmed BrainMore on taking a stand to make changes in your life - A peaceful approach or take a risk instead?Taking a stand or protesting an injustice in your life isn't always about being aggressive. Often, it can be a peaceful objection that helps you move toward honoring yourself. Sometimes you have to take a bigger stand, even at the risk of loss. In this episode, I receive an email from someone who didn't appreciate my comments from the previous "Take a stand" episode so I talk about taking a stand even more today.
2020-07-0943 min
The Overwhelmed BrainEmail grab bag: Purging awkwardness, the perfect partner, lonely and depressedI read three emails that dive into awkward feelings when interacting with others, deciding whether to settle for someone who doesn't know what they want in a relationship, and someone who wrote to me saying that they are lonely and depressed. Lots of variety makes for a packed show. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.
2020-07-051h 00
The Overwhelmed BrainHow to deal with the worries of today and the emotional triggers of every dayThe challenges of today seem greater than ever. Emotions are running high and we can become triggered easily. What do you do with all this pent up energy? If you're not using it to fight for a cause or help you out of a dangerous situation, it may be festering inside you causing you to feel pretty rotten. In this episode, I give you questions that you can ask yourself to get out of the whirlwind of negativity and into a calmer space inside you. visit for more episodes.
2020-06-281h 04
The Overwhelmed BrainI can't get you out of my head but I need to so I can start living againObsessing about your ex wastes all your time and keeps you in a rut that you can't get out of until you take hard steps to disconnect from them completely. That involves a lot of will power and a lot of knowing that you are amazing, worthy and lovable. Visit for more episodes
2020-06-2459 min
The Overwhelmed BrainDealing with mean familyThere is a way to deal with mean family members. It may involve treating them like other people instead of family, which can help you disconnect from wanting to impress them or be loved by them. Or if you're not trying to do that, and you're just trying to get along with them, you might have to dive further into your bag of tools. Visit and for more episodes.
2020-06-211h 09
The Overwhelmed BrainSometimes you have to take a stand to make a change in your life, even if you're scared as hell.When you're in a situation that needs to change, but you're too afraid to take a stand or just hope it changes on its own, you may be waiting forever. Unfortunately, waiting for changes can often involve exposing yourself to a toxic environment, causing long-term emotional damage. If you want change, you might have to take a big scary step to get it.
2020-06-141h 01
The Overwhelmed BrainYour life's purpose does not have to be about youWhen you can't find meaning and purpose in your life and you're not sure what your next steps are, and perhaps you're feeling antsy or anxious about those next steps, sometimes you have to think outside yourself and figure out what really brings you meaning. I keep the existential very practical in this episode, so maybe it's the trip you've been wanting to take for a while. Visit for more episodes.
2020-06-1055 min
The Overwhelmed BrainCan love enable those you care about to do bad behavior?If you love someone, can you set them free to the point where they hit bottom? Sometimes the bottom is the only way back to the top. Tough love exists for a reason and sometimes it is the only way to see true change in someone who is being self-destructive. At that same time, it's important to define what love really is and if you are showing it and receiving it in a way that is healthy for everyone. It's not always easy to love, but it can be extremely rewarding when you have the right formula. Visit and for...
2020-06-071h 12
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen people don't like youEver have someone just not take a liking to you? When that happens, do you brush it off and move on with your day? Or do you brood about it wondering what you did wrong and what you can do right to make them like you? Is it okay to not be liked? I talk about that and more in this episode. visit and for more episodes
2020-05-3157 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen you have to make a big decision about the relationshipSometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it's going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there's a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit and for more episodes on relationships
2020-05-2732 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWaiting for someone else to change so that your life will be betterWhen you're doing the work, but the people around you aren't, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they "see the light" and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don't or won't work on themselves, what's your next step? That's the subject of today's episode. visit and for more episodes.
2020-05-241h 03
The Overwhelmed BrainThe emotional aftermath of getting free of the narcissistic relationshipThe emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly from that point on unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground when it comes to dealing with what happens to your mind and body as you transition out of one of the more toxic relationships that exist. Visit and for more episodes about this and more subjects.
2020-05-2158 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWhy you're not getting a second chanceWhen you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what's the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you've changed? Or does that actually work against you? Visit for more episodes and check out for The SAFE System on Anxiety
2020-05-1755 min
The Overwhelmed BrainThe toxic residue that lingers inside you from people that make you feel bad about yourselfWhen someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment... forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It's time to address those emotional triggers that sneak up on you and ruin your day. Websites: Difficult Relationships:
2020-05-1055 min
The Overwhelmed BrainLearning that your adult child suffered child sexual abuseWhat is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate for the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse, into a conversation about this topic for an honest, heartfelt discussion & guidance for the mom. Prevention & healing websites: The Overwhelmed Brain website: The Love and Abuse website for emotionally abusive relationships:
2020-05-0755 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen your top values aren't being met, the rest of it falls apartWhen your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren't, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today. Get more TOB at Learn how to deal with difficult relationships at
2020-05-031h 16
The Overwhelmed BrainKnow and stand by your standards for the healthiest relationships possibleWe're all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you're willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these people. If you allow toxic behavior, life will feel pretty miserable. Relationships require you to have some courage to stand up for what is right for you. Visit for more content on behavior and relationships. Visit if you are having difficulty in your relationship. #emotionalintelligence #selfhelp #personalgrowth #lifeishard #personaldevelopment #selfhelptools #beyourself #authenticity #unlimitedpotential #motivational...
2020-04-261h 04
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen you desperately want an explanation or closure but you can't get itYou know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don't tell you why? When you aren't given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It's what happens when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can't seem to get past the fact that you don't know why it happened. It's a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you're going to move on and enjoy life again. Visit theoverwhelmedbrain.com For help...
2020-04-1958 min
The Overwhelmed BrainHow to feel better about yourselfCarrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It's time to access a part of yourself that helps you feel good about yourself - maybe even great.
2020-04-121h 03
The Overwhelmed BrainNew relationships should not create worry about what it is or isn'tLong-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it's even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic. However, perhaps the answer has nothing to do with the Corona virus and more to do with the person she is trying to connect with.
2020-04-0827 min
The Overwhelmed BrainGetting comfortable letting go of what no longer serves youCan you get back up after a big fall? If you're struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you'd hoped. The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components. What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small thing from your life...
2020-04-051h 00
The Overwhelmed BrainMaking sure toxic people and toxic environments don't take over your lifeWhat do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to make, you end up holding on to resentments and building a wall around your heart so that you connect less and are more unhappy in general.
2020-03-291h 08
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen social anxiety, fear, and loneliness keep you from doing what you want to doSocial anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations is more normal than you might think. Not everyone is a gregarious extrovert that can start a conversation with anyone. If you're dealing with social anxiety, fear of judgment from others, or loneliness, and you feel like you're not living life to the fullest, this episode may be what gets you through the challenges. Get the SAFE Empowerment System for Social and Generalized Anxiety at quietbegins.com
2020-03-221h 09
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen life seems like an endless series of dead endsThere's a path out of misery that some people don't take because of fear. But when the misery never ends, why not take that path? The gain is usually far greater than the loss. I talk about that path in this episode. I begin today's episode talking about the coronavirus and what you can do when you don't know what to do.
2020-03-1545 min
The Overwhelmed BrainThe one question to ask yourself when you can't figure out what to doThere are many situations that show up in our lives that challenge us. Sometimes we are able to act authentically and have our truth motivate us to take the right steps. Other times, fear drives us to hold back what we really want to say or do, prolonging our challenges and keeping us from moving forward. The choices you make in crucial, challenging moments such as this can define your entire life, let alone predict your future level of happiness.
2020-03-081h 01
The Overwhelmed BrainOvercoming a general distrust of people and the benefit of taking risksIf you are cynical about people and feel vulnerable and exposed around most people you meet, perhaps it's time to address that in yourself so that you walk around in confidence. It takes courage and risk, but not at the cost you may think.
2020-03-011h 01
The Overwhelmed BrainAm I overreacting or are they just a jerk? And the woman who is the last to know about the family secretAre you just too sensitive or is the other person really being a jerk? I read a follow up email from an episode a few weeks back and answer a question about the difference between being triggered and someone's bad behavior. In segment two, I change it up and talk about child sexual abuse and what might happen when the family secret is found out.
2020-02-231h 00
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen the fear of abandonment keeps you from happinessWhen you're needy and fearful of someone leaving you, or something ending, you tend to miss all the best moments of life. Fear of abandonment can dominate your thoughts causing you to miss out on happiness and fulfillment. When you grow beyond that fear, you might actually starting enjoying life again.
2020-02-161h 06
The Overwhelmed BrainThose selfish people that don't care if you're hurt by their behaviorThis episode is about selfishness. When you are interacting with people that only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you're in for a very dysfunctional, and possibly emotionally harmful situation. It's important to know your line and know when people cross it, then honor that line so that you don't lose a bit of yourself.
2020-02-091h 01
The Overwhelmed BrainBringing the best version of yourself into a world full of fearful peopleCreating a relationship with yourself is the first part of the bigger picture of having great relationships in your life in general. But what happens when fearful people think you're starting to enjoy being yourself too much and are afraid that you'll go off and leave them behind? You start by getting to know yourself, then being unafraid to be yourself, then learning how to deal with others who aren't so ready for your happiness. It's a packed episode.
2020-02-0254 min
The Overwhelmed BrainMaking impossible decisionsIf you're always looking in the rear view mirror, it's quite possible you're not creating the life you want. Sometimes you get to the tipping point where you just can't stand it anymore and you take action. On segment two, there's a seriously difficult decision facing someone who wrote to me who is married but wants to explore being transgender, but his wife is upset and the marriage is in limbo. The impossible decision looms over him.
2020-01-261h 12
The Overwhelmed BrainHow to help yourself and others by accessing your inner wisdomWhen you have a challenge that causes you stress and you want to make the right decision, you may need to dive in a little deeper to get a good answer. Whether you're preparing for what you know will be a difficult time, or you're helping someone else with their problem, there's a way to get to access that inner wisdom for a possible solution.
2020-01-191h 05
The Overwhelmed BrainStaying positive while other people get what you want and you don'tThe feelings of jealousy or envy can quickly take over when someone else gets what we want, or succeeds at something we're trying to accomplish. There's a choice we make in that moment: To be upset and feel defeated, or be inspired to try harder and make something happen. What you choose determines whether you win or lose.
2020-01-1256 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen it feels like you never get enough from lifeWill you ever have enough love, or enough money, or enough time, or... When you're always trying to get more but never seem to get ahead, it's time to figure out why that is. I talk about that and more in this first episode of 2020.
2020-01-051h 06
The Overwhelmed BrainKeeping old emotional pain out of the new yearIf you could loosen the grip old emotional pain has on you, do you think you'd feel better and be happier? Whether you're holding on to old negative feelings or you've discovered past emotional wounds, this episode will help guide you to your first step toward healing.
2019-12-3059 min
The Overwhelmed BrainKeep your power by giving yourself one of the greatest gifts possibleIt's important to bounce back from the setbacks and always move forward so that you aren't drowning in the anger, sadness, or upset from the past. Sometimes even present circumstances can be enough to stall your forward momentum. This is why it's vital to make sure you recharge your personal power so that you are no longer a victim to the world and can start taking charge of your life.
2019-12-2258 min
The Overwhelmed BrainUsing loved ones as verbal punching bagsAre you really angry at the person standing in front of you? Or is that past unresolved trauma coming up in the moment adding tension and making your loved ones not want to be around you (or you around them)? With holidays and other gatherings, it's a good time to talk about what to do with those repressed triggers that are lying in the deep recesses of your mind.
2019-12-151h 05
The Overwhelmed BrainHow to avoid destroying yourself with guiltSo you did something you regret and now you walk around feeling guilty... that has to end. Guilt isn't something you keep, it's supposed to be a message that disappears after you've learned the lesson. If you carry guilt, it's time once and for all to let it go.
2019-12-0853 min
The Overwhelmed BrainBeing aloneSometimes it's a choice, sometimes you don't want it at all, but at one time or another, you're alone. Even when someone you love is right next to you, there are times you still feel alone.
2019-12-011h 04
The Overwhelmed BrainWhat to do when your self-improvement creates fear and conflict in othersWhen you go through any type of self-improvement, there will be people that won't support your growth, and there will be those who love that you feel good about yourself and are becoming happier. Those who don't support you improving yourself and making changes that are good for you want you to stay the same so they don't have to adapt to the new you. Those that do support you are just happy that you're happy. I'll give you one guess which ones create the most conflict in your life. Whether its gatherings during the holidays or just regular get...
2019-11-2453 min
The Overwhelmed BrainWhat comes out of you when people push you over the edgeWhat lurks inside the depths of your emotional state that is conjured up when you are triggered? What happens when someone pushes you over the edge? Do you keep your composure or do you lose control? The unhealed emotional space inside you tends to come out in triggered moments. It's time to heal what's left unresolved so that you get the results you want instead of the ones that come from "losing it".
2019-11-171h 06
The Overwhelmed BrainEstablishing boundaries with toxic familyWhen you dread that phone call or personal visit with family that you hope goes well but never does, it's important to learn how to establish boundaries. You don't want to spend most of your time in anxiety waiting for the next family reunion. Toxic family can make life hard. Not being able to avoid toxic family can make it even worse. Hopefully this episode gives you some tools that help you survive those dreaded family gatherings once and for all.
2019-11-101h 00
The Overwhelmed Brain"There must be something wrong with me": How you brainwash yourself by reinforcing negative false beliefsWe can get so good at convincing ourselves how broken or terrible we are sometimes. In fact, some of us go through life thinking that there must be something wrong with us because why else is our life turning out as it is? This is a deep episode that covers a lot, so be prepared to be empowered to learn just how not broken you are.
2019-11-031h 20
The Overwhelmed BrainFacing the challenge, getting through it, and coming out of it new and improvedChallenges are inevitable. They are impossible to avoid. And when you manage to avoid them, do you really learn what you need to in order to get through the next one? You can spend your whole life avoiding challenges, but will you ever feel liberated from the stress and anxiety of life if you do so? I tackle those questions in today's episode.
2019-10-271h 01
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen others make you feel smallIs it possible to argue with love and respect for the other person? What if they can't but you can? If you ever feel small or are made to feel inferior after an argument with a loved one, it's time to learn what to do when it goes too far.
2019-10-2056 min
The Overwhelmed BrainAre you inadvertently responsible for your own unhappinessWhat happens when you can imagine what would make you happy, but you can't have it in the real world? Sometimes you have to tolerate the bad to get to the good, and sometimes you just have to get away from the bad altogether.
2019-10-1343 min
The Overwhelmed BrainProcessing thoughts and emotions through self-guided questionsSometimes you don't have a coach or therapist around to walk you through the challenges. When you are experiencing a negative emotion, there are questions you can ask yourself to reach a new level of processing and healing. The work of Byron Katie plays a role in this episode as I talk about "The Four Questions" from her writing on "The Work".
2019-10-0649 min
The Overwhelmed BrainKeeping your power in conversations with controlling, dominating and overpowering peopleIf you can't ever seem to win an argument with a certain person in your life, or you feel like you can never get closure on an issue because that person keeps turning it back on you, this episode will give you some tools to use next time you feel like you're losing your power.
2019-09-2955 min
The Overwhelmed BrainDealing with the impossible boss and other relationship advice when it comes to job, career and lifeWhen your boss is a jerk, do you still go to work? Most people do, but then what? You continue to accept your boss's bad behavior and just pretend you're not affected? This episodes provides great communication tips not just for your superiors, but for anyone in your life that might just be very difficult to deal with. Free career resources at theoverwhelmedbrain.com/career/
2019-09-221h 02
The Overwhelmed BrainJealousy in the relationshipSeveral major components need to exist in a relationship in order for jealousy to take control. When there's jealousy between you and your partner, there is almost always a decrease in love and connection, and an increase in unhappiness and anxiety. It's time to put jealousy to rest once and for all.
2019-09-151h 03
The Overwhelmed BrainWhen there's insecurity or fear around sex, the entire relationship suffers. And a listener disagrees with my adviceWhen you have issues with sex in your relationship, and you don't discuss it with your partner, your relationship suffers. Or if you do discuss it and you can't reach a resolution, you will feel it throughout your time together and never be as happy as you could be. Also in this episode, I read an email from someone who disagreed with my advice.
2019-09-0849 min
The Overwhelmed BrainThe difficult and sometimes painful decisions that almost always improve your lifeThe key to long-lasting happiness and fulfillment is about ten percent luck and ninety percent of what I talk about in today's episode. If you struggle in your relationships, your job, or life in general, you may be sabotaging your own path to success. Start making decisions based on what's most important to you instead of from a fear of the consequences and you'll end up with a vastly different reality.
2019-09-011h 05
Having It A.L.L.The Secret Consequences of Being Authentic and Transparent with Paul Colaianni (Rebroadcast)This episode is a rebroadcast of a powerful conversation I had with Paul Colaianni -- host of The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast and author of "The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth For Critical Thinkers".Paul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental an...
2017-03-021h 09
Bombshell Business Podcast with Amber Hurdle14: How to Create Values for Your Life & Business with Paul ColaianniIn this episode, Amber Hurdle helps listeners create values for their life and business through her interview with personal development coach and host of the Overwhelmed Brain Podcast, Paul Colaianni.
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2016-11-0138 min
The Overwhelmed BrainThe Meaning of Communication - Guilt by Manipulation - Obsessing Over the ExWhat you say isn't always what they hear. What they understand isn't always what you conveyed. Who is responsible for the communication, you? Them? Both? Neither? It's time to explore this topic. On Ask Paul part 1, I read a message from someone who got out of a manipulative, abusive relationship with a malignant narcissist. It was a crazy time for her and she is healing, but she shares a lesson for us all. On Ask Paul part 2, I read a letter from someone still obsessing over his ex. They were together a short time but he's still grieving over the...
2016-10-301h 10
The Paradise Within ShowTPW23: Fears, Anxiety and Broken Relationships - A sneak peak into a man emotions with Paul Colaianni (Part 1 of 2)TPW23: Fears, Anxiety and Broken Relationships - A sneak peak into a man emotions with Paul Colaianni (Part 1 of 2) Growing up with an alcoholic step-father or parent could mess up your life in so many ways leaving you with a sense of wonder why bad things happen to you one after another and when you're going get a break. Paul Colaianni was growing up in such a broken family. His relationships with women were like a train station where they came into his life then left him with broken heart, fears and anxiety. He shares the #1 reason...
2016-10-0320 min
The Overwhelmed BrainGetting control back - The small door out of depression - The unforever soulmate - Emotionally disconnected partnersAre you at a job that feels like you are being dominated or controlled? Is there a way out of this without quitting? There may be. I get a response from a listener who wrote before who took my advice for her about her work situation and everything turned out for the better. Controlling bosses no longer drove her mad. What keeps you at work you don't like anyway? What's motivating you to stay miserable? Also, what is it with depression? Why does depression kick in so hard and why is it so hard to get back out once you're...
2016-07-031h 25
The Bold Life Movement with Kimberly RichPaul Colaianni: Understanding the Pros & Cons of Personal Empowerment Paul Colaianni is a brave, open and honest personal coach and podcaster who is committed to helping others lead better lives. He’s the creator of The Overwhelmed Brain (TOB) podcast and blog which receives thousands of downloads and views every day. Paul had always been a dedicated 9-to-5’er until 2013, when as an IT sub-contractor he became fed up with his employer’s broken promises of hiring him on full-time. At the same time, his relationship with his wife was on the rocks. With a career not on track and a wife about to leave him, Paul c...
2016-05-2554 min
The Game Changer Podcast51: How To Move Through Anxiety, Fear, and Depression, with Paul Colaianni, Game Changing MindsetSend us a text Paul Colaianni helps you discover why you do the things you do, and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm. His ultimate goal is to help you become empowered so that you can create the life you want and make decisions that are right for you. This is done through the podcast, articles, books, worksheets and one-on-one coaching. Today on The Game Changer Podcast, I speak with Paul Colaianni about this topic. He is the host of the podcast and website, T...
2016-04-0436 min
The Game Changer Podcast51: How To Move Through Anxiety, Fear, and Depression, with Paul Colaianni, Game Changing Mindset Paul Colaianni helps you discover why you do the things you do, and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm. His ultimate goal is to help you become empowered so that you can create the life you want and make decisions that are right for you. This is done through the podcast, articles, books, worksheets and one-on-one coaching. Today on The Game Changer Podcast, I speak with Paul Colaianni about this topic. He is the host of the podcast and website, The Overwhelmed Brain, and has certainly h...
2016-04-0436 min
The Game Changer Podcast51: How To Move Through Anxiety, Fear, and Depression, with Paul Colaianni, Game Changing Mindset
Paul Colaianni helps you discover why you do the things you do, and what you can do to reach higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm. His ultimate goal is to help you become empowered so that you can create the life you want and make decisions that are right for you. This is done through the podcast, articles, books, worksheets and one-on-one coaching.
Today on The Game Changer Podcast, I speak with Paul Colaianni about this topic. He is the host of the podcast and website, The Overwhelmed Brain, and has certainly h...
2016-04-0436 min
The Overwhelmed BrainResolving Emotions Mindfully - I'm Not Cheating So Whats The Big DealI watched a recent Ted Talk with Dr. Judson Brewer who teaches mindfulness to cure addictions. I was surprised to learn that I actually did the process he talks about to cure my addiction to sugar many years ago. I share that story and what you can do to use mindfulness to help you feel better in almost any situation, whether it's a craving or a negative emotion. For the Ask Paul segment, I read a letter from a woman who is with a man who flirts and texts with another woman. She says there's been no affair, but she...
2016-04-031h 11The Overwhelmed BrainKids Humiliating Kids - My Boss is Irrational - Enablers Give Their Dependents a Free Ride - The Meaning of SpiritualityIt's an Ask Paul marathon! First, I'll talk about how bullies love when you react negatively and what to do to squash the energy behind their bullying. This is from a letter from a kid who got bullied in school and was humiliated to the point where he didn't want to go back. Adopting a "who cares?" attitude can be very helpful in situations like this!Second, I talk about someone with an irrational boss. What do you do when your boss is completely crazy? The lizard brain kicks in and you can react like a human, or perhaps what...
2016-03-201h 08
Having It A.L.L.The Secret Consequences of Being Authentic and Transparent with Paul ColaianniPaul Colaianni has not always led an authentic life. Experiences as a child taught him that authenticity and self expression were detrimental to his health and the health of those around him, so he bottled them up. The result was a life ripe with unsteady relationships, frustration, and disillusionment. It wasn’t until facing the end of another relationship, that Paul reached an emotional, mental and spiritual breaking point, which sent him on a 10 year journey to study and self examine. Today, Paul is a self empowerment coach who uses his life experiences and the insights he’s picked up a...
2016-03-141h 12The Overwhelmed BrainYou Cannot Control Every Thought - Taking the Leap Into The Improved You - Making Empowered Decisions Around FamilyThe quest for happiness and staying positive is fraught with sadness and negativity, yet the existence of those things is exactly what it takes to experience the totality of a fulfilling life. You can't always be happy, and you wouldn't even know what happiness is if you didn't have the contrast of sadness. At the same time, if your life is full of hardship and pain, maybe happiness never arrives. Then what? Also, today's Ask Paul, I receive a letter from someone who doesn't believe she knows how to, or even deserves, happiness. Whenever she gets around family, she becomes "...
2016-03-131h 11The Overwhelmed BrainSpotting the Red Flags of Incongruent Metaphysical Teachings - Keeping Your Cool at Work - Empowering OthersMetaphysical malpractice was a term I was unfamiliar with until a friend of mine mentioned to me how a few metaphysical teachers were incongruent in their teachings. They say and teach one thing, but behave an entirely different way in their personal lives. I have some comments on that I share in today's episode.
In Ask Paul, I answer an email from someone who is having trouble keeping her cool at work. How do you deal with disorganized coworkers or supervisors who always have a fire that you need to put out? And what if you put that fire out m...
2016-02-281h 02The Overwhelmed BrainAligning With Fulfillment - The Disrespecting Unloving Relationship - Brain Trick For Eliminating Negative EmotionsThere's a reason we run into obstacles that stop us from getting what we want in life, and that has to do with what we are aligned with most at a deeper, unconscious level. When we are out of alignment with that, we fall off course and things fall apart. Today I give you a quote, well really a question, to stick on your refrigerator, cubicle wall, bathroom mirror and everywhere else you'll see it so that you stay on course and keep moving along the path on which you are most aligned.
In today's Ask Paul segment, I read a...
2016-02-141h 06The Overwhelmed BrainA Yes Person Can Say No - Fear While Talking to People - Even a Goldfish has EmotionsIf you're a "yes person", you find yourself saying "Yes" to others. However, what you're really doing is saying "No" to yourself. Doing this causes you to reach burn out after a number of years. You get jaded by friends and family taking advantage of your "generosity", all because you're too nice to say no. There's a way out of this, and it will take baby steps, but it's time to gain some empowerment and start saying "Yes" to yourself. In the Ask Paul segment, I read a letter from a woman who starts to feel fear when talking to p...
2016-01-311h 00
The Overwhelmed BrainTransforming the Jerk - Ask Paul About Waiting During a Long Distance Relationship - Making a Contingency Plan in Case of a Break Up or DivorceThere are jerks in our lives, at least that's what we tend to call them sometimes, that just never stop getting on our nerves. We hope they act differently, but they never change their ways. Is there anything we can do? Well, we can open our hearts and see what happens. Scary thought! And why would we want to open our hearts to someone who acts so badly toward us? Find out in this episode. Also, in the Ask Paul segment, I read a message from someone who is in a long-distance relationship and isn't sure what to do since...
2016-01-241h 02The Overwhelmed BrainA Perspective on Living with Chronic Pain - Coming Out in the World and Broadcasting Your True SelfHow can you live with chronic pain? How do you get through the suffering? Is there a path to freedom or is it a never-ending event that will plague you for the rest of your life?
Also, in the Ask Paul segment, I receive a letter from a gay man in his 40s suffering from a deep depression who cannot get a good night's sleep and hasn't "come out" to show the world the way he truly wants to live and what he really wants to say.
Chronic physical pain is part 1 and chronic emotional pain is part 2. Episode bought t...
2016-01-171h 08The Overwhelmed BrainThe physical symptoms of emotional turmoil - The Unfaithful Husband and the Wife Who Never Let it Go - A Story of Giving for the HolidaysSo much of our emotional pain that doesn't get expressed can turn into actual physical ailments that won't go away until those emotions are expressed and released. Sometimes the damage can be permanent and we'll need to seek medical attention, and other times the healing starts right away. One thing for sure, you start healing when you start expressing. In today's Ask Paul segment, a woman is still holding on to emotional pain from being cheated on. Can she forgive and move on while being married to someone who really does appear to have changed, or is she doomed to f...
2015-12-201h 10
The Overwhelmed BrainGetting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You WantStepping out of the details so that you can see a bigger picture is one of the best ways to end an argument. When you "chunk up" into a broader perspective instead of staying "chunked down" and embroiled in the details, you're able to step out of all the negative emotional energy about the situation. For the Ask Paul segment, a listener who just graduated college wrote and asked about honoring his personal boundaries with his parents and how to get along with a family member who doesn't seem to like him. The final segment, "What's In The Box?" is...
2015-11-0159 min