Shows
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 139: The Smoke is Not the Fire: Decoding Your Anxious Child's BehaviorIs your child's misbehaviour leaving you frustrated, confused, or exhausted? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, host Dr Tan unpacks a crucial concept that will transform how you view your child's struggles: challenging behaviour is not the problem, it's the signal.
Learn why parents often fall into the trap of "fixing the smoke" (addressing outward child behaviour like yelling, tantrums, defiance, or meltdowns) instead of uncovering the true "fire" beneath. Often anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, or unmet emotional needs.
Learn actionable strategies to:
Pause before reacting to your child's...2025-05-2223 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 137: When Connection Feels Impossible: Parenting Through the Disconnection When Connection Feels Impossible: Parenting Through the Disconnection Feeling disconnected from your child? This Huddle Wisdom podcast episode with Dr. Davin Tan explores why kids withdraw and offers practical parenting strategies for staying grounded and fostering connection, even when it feels impossible. Learn the power of presence and how to navigate those challenging moments of silence and emotional distance.
Key Discussion Points:
Understanding the frustration and pain of feeling disconnected from your child.
Recognising that disconnection isn't always personal rejection but can be a sign of a child's internal struggles.
The counterintuitive power of "being there" wi...2025-05-0623 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 136: Beyond the Fix: Understanding and Responding to Your Anxious ChildIn this episode, Dr. Davin Tan explores a powerful shift in how we respond to anxiety in our children, not by rushing to fix, but by staying present.
When your child is overwhelmed, your calm presence, not your solutions can be the most healing thing you offer. Through quiet reflection, grounded insight, and relatable examples, Dr. Tan helps parents understand why emotional safety matters more than strategies, and how doing less can actually help our children feel more seen, safe, and supported.
Why “fixing” your child’s anxiety often backfires
The deeper message we sen...2025-05-0115 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 135: How not to raise a 'psycho'! Developing empathy in childrenIn this episode, Dr. Davin Tan addresses a common but often unspoken fear among parents: "Am I raising a child who lacks empathy?"
He explores the complexities of childhood development, distinguishing between normal behaviors and potential red flags. Dr. Tan explores the neurological basis of empathy, the influence of parenting styles, and practical strategies for nurturing compassion in children.
He also discusses when to seek professional help and offers hope for families facing challenging behavioral patterns.
Key Takeaways:
Empathy develops gradually and unevenly throughout childhood.
Man...2025-04-131h 09The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 133: You'll Never Stop a Meltdown If you Don't Understand These ThingsIn this episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, Dr. Davin Tan explores the neuroscience behind teenage meltdowns, their common triggers, and provides evidence-based strategies for parents and caregivers. Learn practical insights into the adolescent brain's development, effective mindfulness techniques, and empathic communication methods to navigate the challenges of raising teenagers.
Key Topics Covered:
The Neuroscience of the Teenage Brain: Understanding the ongoing development of the prefrontal cortex and its impact on teenage behavior.
Common Emotional Triggers: Identifying factors that lead to emotional dysregulation in adolescents, such as academic pressure, social dynamics, and sleep deprivation.
Mindfulness as a Neurological To...2025-04-0134 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 132: Transform Parenting with Ancient Wisdom: Stoicism for Anxious KidsDiscover how Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, can empower parents raising anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan unpacks stoic principles and offers practical tools to build emotional resilience—for both kids and parents. From relatable metaphors to stress-busting strategies, this episode provides actionable insights to navigate the challenges of parenting with calm and wisdom. Plus, learn about Dr. Tan's audio course, Making Sense of Anxious Kids (www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids for deeper learning. Tune in and transform your parenting journey!2025-03-2028 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 129: Your Child's Separation Anxiety And Are You Making It Worse?Understanding Separation Anxiety:
Separation anxiety is normal, but that doesn't make it enjoyable.
The goal is to understand why a child perceives temporary absence as abandonment and how to reassure them.
The child's brain acts like an overenthusiastic security guard, setting off alarms when a parent leaves.
The child's brain is trying to protect them, but it can be "extra" about it.
Signs of Anxiety:
Beyond a child treating a parent's departure as a major event, look for these indicators:
Physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches, particularly on school days.
Behavioral changes, like...2025-02-2325 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 128: Anxiety: Normal age and stage issue or is this an actual issue?In this episode Dr Davin Tan shares his insights about what to look out for so that you can distinguish between what's probably normal age and stage anxiety stuff and what might be more serious.
With his usual brand of self-effacing humour, we hope you'll enjoy this somewhat lighthearted episode about an important topic.
If in doubt, please consult a professional.
Making Sense of Anxious Kids Online Course
www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids 2025-02-1818 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 127: How to Grow Resilient Children with Empathic GuidanceThis podcast episode focuses on building resilience in children through empathic listening and emotional validation. The host, Dr. Davin Tan, explains that these techniques foster strong parent-child connections by creating a safe space for children to express their feelings. Empathic listening involves understanding children's emotions, while emotional validation means acknowledging their feelings without judgment. The podcast offers practical tips for applying these methods and promotes related courses for further learning. Ultimately, the goal is to help children develop emotional strength and navigate challenges effectively.
The 'Making Sense of Anxious Kids' course:
www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids 2025-02-0919 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 126: The link between anxiety and stomachachesDiscover the connection between the brain and gut, and how anxiety triggers the release of stress hormones which can disrupt your child's digestion.
Learn why mood imbalances can lead to stomach problems, because of the key neurotransmitter, serotonin, found primarily in the gut.
Recognise that timing is key; see if there's a pattern between stomach aches and stressful situations.
Look out for other symptoms of anxiety, such as sleep changes, appetite changes, and irritability.
Know the difference between anxiety-induced stomach aches and when it's important to seek medical help, particularly if t...2025-02-0218 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 123: Building Resilience - From Anxiety to ConfidenceBuilding Resilience - From Anxiety to Confidence - This episode explores practical strategies for helping children build resilience and confidence in managing their anxiety
Dr. Tan introduces the "Courage Ladder" approach, which involves creating manageable steps to gradually expose children to their fears
The episode also emphasizes the importance of understanding the physical symptoms of anxiety and how to manage them
Dr. Tan introduces the "Body Detective" technique for recognizing and managing physical anxiety signals
Practical tools are also discussed, including the "Dragon Breath" technique, the "Worry Box," and the "Superhero Pos...2025-01-1214 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 122: The Power of ValidationThe Power of Validation - Communication That Transforms - This episode focuses on the critical role of validation in communicating with anxious children
Dr. Tan explains how dismissing a child's fears can worsen their anxiety and emphasizes the importance of acknowledging their feelings
Validation acts as a "bridge" to help anxious children move towards coping strategies
The episode provides examples of how to validate a child's feelings by using phrases such as "It sounds like you're really worried" instead of dismissing their fears
It also introduces the "Feel and Deal" approach, whi...2025-01-0715 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 121: Understanding Your Anxious Child's MindUnderstanding Your Anxious Child's Mind - This episode introduces the concept of anxiety as an oversensitive "smoke alarm" in children, creating a "threat telescope" effect where minor issues seem overwhelming
Dr. Tan emphasizes that anxious children aren't being difficult; they are responding to a world that feels genuinely threatening
He also discusses how anxiety can manifest in various ways, including physical complaints, avoidance, and irritability
The episode highlights the importance of understanding what is happening in a child's mind to better support them
It encourages parents to shift their perspective from "What...2024-12-3011 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 120: Making Sense of Anxious Kids Making Sense of Anxious Kids
Join Dr. Davin Tan as he delves into why some kids exhibit challenging behaviours and how we can better support them. He discusses:
Misconceptions about "misbehavior" and the importance of understanding root causes.
The "problem of fit" and how demands on children can exceed their coping abilities.
Becoming a behaviour detective using the "ABC" method.
The role of temperament in children's behaviour.
Creating a supportive environment with empathy and understanding.
Long-term strategies to help kids manage their emotions.
F...2024-12-2029 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP 113: Is Your Anxiety Rubbing Off on Your Kids? Find Out Here!Are you a parent struggling with anxiety? Do you worry about how your anxiety might be affecting your children? In this episode of 'The Huddle Wisdom Podcast' with Dr Davin Tan explores practical strategies for managing parental anxiety. Discover how to identify your triggers, practice mindfulness, communicate effectively, and set healthy boundaries. Learn how taking care of your mental health can create a more positive and nurturing environment for your entire family.
www.huddlewisdom.com/signup
www.huddlewisdom.com/courses
2024-10-3035 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP 112: Matching Your Approach to Mental Age | Huddle Wisdom Podcast EpisodeIn the final episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast series, Empathic Guidance for Anxious CHildren, Dr. Davin Tan explores the importance of tailoring your approach to your child's mental age rather than their chronological age. Using the factory analogy, Dr. Tan explains how children develop at different rates across various domains and provides practical strategies for supporting them at their actual developmental stage.
Highlights:
Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety
Differences between mental and chronological age
Story of Emma, a 12-year-old with varied developmental stages
Practical strategies for preschool, primary school, and teenage developmental stages
...2024-10-2729 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP 111: Encouragement for Anxious Kids | Huddle Wisdom PodcastJoin Dr. Davin Tan in this episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast to explore the power of encouragement in helping anxious children thrive. Recapping the factory analogy from previous episodes, Dr. Tan highlights the importance of recognizing and reinforcing a child's efforts to build self-confidence and resilience. Learn practical strategies to implement encouragement and help children navigate challenges.
Highlights:
Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety
Importance of empathy and positive reinforcement
Story of Alex, a young boy overcoming his fear of speaking up
Strategies for recognizing and reinforcing efforts
Emphasizing intrinsic motivation over external rewa...2024-10-2013 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP 110: Building Strong, Empathetic Connections | Huddle Wisdom PodcastPart 2 of the Empathic Guidance for Anxious Children series; based off the course. Here, we explore how to build strong, empathetic connections with children to help manage anxiety. Using the analogy of a factory, Dr. Tan explains the importance of improving communication between the emotional and rational parts of a child’s mind. Discover the S.A.V.E. protocol and practical strategies for consistent connection.
Highlights:
Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety
Importance of secure attachment relationships
Story of Sarah, a young patient overcoming panic attacks
Introduction to the S.A.V.E. protocol: See, Acknowledge, Validate...2024-10-1618 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP 109: Understanding Anxiety in Children | Huddle Wisdom PodcastIn this episode, which is part 1 of a series based on the course 'Empathic GUidance for Anxious Kids'.
We dive into the complexities of anxiety in children. Discover how anxiety manifests, with examples and statistics from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Dr. Tan shares personal anecdotes and practical strategies, like the "balloon breath" and "worry box" techniques, to help manage anxiety. Tune in for insights on recognizing signs and providing effective support.
Highlights:
Definition and forms of child anxiety
Signs and symptoms to watch for
Real-life example of a young patient, Tommy
Importance of understanding root ca...2024-10-1322 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP105 | Should You Spy on Your Kids’ Social Media? The Controversial TruthIn the final installment of our three-part series, Dr. Davin Tan tackles the controversial question: Should parents monitor their children’s social media accounts? Join us as we explore the delicate balance between online safety and privacy, and discover practical strategies for navigating this complex issue.
Key Points:
Statistics on Parental Monitoring:
60% of parents check their teen’s social media profiles, while 40% do not.
Concerns about online safety, cyberbullying, and exposure to harmful content versus privacy and trust.
Research Insights:
Teenagers who believe their parents are monitoring their social media are more like...2024-09-1712 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEP 102: Why Your Child Shouldn’t Have a Smartphone Until 16: Shocking Truths Revealed! Part 1: Why Your Child Shouldn’t Have a Smartphone Until 16: Shocking Truths Revealed!
Welcome to “Technology and Media with Dr. Davin Tan,” where we delve into the profound impact of modern technology on our lives. In this episode we address a pressing question for many parents: When should children be allowed to have their own smartphones?
Join us as we explore surprising statistics about early smartphone ownership and discuss the potential risks and benefits of these powerful devices for young, developing minds. Dr. Tan shares practical advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of setting clear boundar...2024-09-0317 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 082: Effective discipline for oppositional kids starts with understanding these 5 themesParenting children through their opposition and defiance can be tough because it pushes our buttons. It can be difficult not to take their resistance personally. But keep the following principles in mind and you'll find your efforts to discipline your children a little less challenging:
Here are the 5 themes:
- Connect first, fix second
- Parental self-regulation is important
- Don't forget to mind the environment
- Remember that children are not small adults (beware the curse of knowledge)
- Children are not pets (i know it s...2023-10-0933 min
Revolving Door Syndrome#27 - Dr Davin Tan - Forensic psychiatry: the intersection of mental health and justiceIn this episode, we kōrero Dr. Davin Tan, an adolescent psychiatrist. We explore the profound impact parents have on their children's lives, discussing attachment, resilience, and the changing dynamics of modern families. Davin shares insights from his experiences in Youth Justice and Forensic Psychiatry units, shedding light on the delicate balance between autonomy and safety in mental health care.2023-09-1348 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 078c: sports Karen thinking errors and kerplunkJoin us for another riveting episode as Davin drives home from work...trying to figure out what cognitive error sports parent Karens make. And what you can do to make sure you don't become one.2023-08-0916 min
Tall Poppy TalkDr. Davin Tan | Youth & Forensic Psychiatrist, Empathy ExpertDr. Davin Tan MbChB FRANZCP, is a specialist in Child and Forensic Psychiatry. He's also an expert on empathy & the role it plays within inter- and intrapersonal relationships. There can be no health without mental health. He works to make accessible the mental models to turn emotional chaos into strength for youth + adults, and has distilled the core tenets of emotional intelligence into his course, the Practice of Empathic Discipline. Through good mental models & a good dose of empathy a lot of good can be done. Dr. Tan has a weekly podcast featuring over 70 captivating topics from How-to approach gender...2023-08-0148 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 076: What's up with the youth today?
Why do young people do such naughty things like ram raids?
And what can we do as parents to help stop that behaviour?
Tune in.
Link to Connection Kickstarter - FREE training
www.huddlewisdom.com/jedimind
Link to the Nutters Club Radio show
https://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/on-air/nutters-club/davin-tan-a-psychiatrists-look-at-parenting/2023-07-1325 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 069: Agreement can be harmful to your childrenAgreement for the sake of peacekeeping is invalidating in my view.
So what's a parent to do when they are faced with a situation where they're children are grappling with something big, but you don't want to alienate them.
I hope these ideas help you.
#huddlewisdom
#mentalmodels
#empathy2023-05-1520 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 068: empathy is your secret weapon for success in business and lifeEmpathy, I believe, is your secret weapon for establishing trust in your business and personal relationships.
But it's not just an idea or concept, it's a mindset, an attitude.
We all have the equipment; we just need to activate the software to make it work. Let me show you how!
Listen in and I'm sure it will help you and those around you too.
PARENTS! Click here 👇
Empathy for Parenting Success2023-05-0725 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 067: Why is parenting hard? And what to do about itWhy parenting is so tough is maybe because we've gotten a little soft around the edges. Let me explain and maybe it'll give you some motivation in your parenting life.2023-04-3024 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 066: Managing ADHD- commentary re interview with EmilyA few extra comments from me that I forgot to tack on to episode 65.
Practice of Empathic Discipline will help you develop your ability to connect authentically and meaningfully while become irresistibly influential in their lives. This is so necessary in the digital age!
www.huddlewisdom.com/practice2023-04-1305 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 065: Managing ADHD - a student's perspectiveTune in to my interview with Emily. A student with ADHD. I think the most important thing that students with ADHD need is a village of supportive adults and it became clear that that was a critical piece of Emily's treatment.2023-04-1232 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 064: A starting point for parents dealing with gender dysphoriaIt can be a disorientating when your child comes to you telling you that they feel they're in the wrong body.
How do you start to approach this?
You don't want to alienate them. You don't want to invalidate them. But neither do you want to push them into something they might regret later.
music by infraction2023-04-0627 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 063: Victimhood hoodlums in New Zealand!My thoughts about the Posie Parker shenanigans this week in Auckland, NZ.
How do we teach our children the right way to behave in this context?
A little empathy goes a long way!
www.huddlewisdom.com/practice2023-03-2719 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 062: Should our kids have smartphones?It's useful to have a framework that allows us to work out whether our children ought to be able to have cell phones.
Join me and I will share with you what questions I ask to help determine whether a kid should have one or now.
Special Offer for 9 ways to empathic parenting audio course: BE THE INFLUENCER YOUR CHILD NEEDS
2023-03-2211 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 061: Respect. Good enough parenting seriesYou want your kids to respect you?
Then...respect your child first...
What does it mean to Respect your Child?
Come find out
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CLICK HERE: Be THE influencer in your kids lives2023-03-1524 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 060: Pick your battles. Good enough parenting series.Thanks Kylie for the LinkedIn response.
"Pick your battles" is a hallmark of good enough parenting.
Join me on my drive home as I do my streams of consciousness thing, trying to unpack this idea.
What does it mean to pick our battles?
Is the battle worth fighting?
What if you win? So what?
What if you lose? So what?
Think before you decide to battle.2023-03-0913 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 059: Help! My kids' flipping outTune in to get a framework for helping your young ones with emotional storms/tantrums...I warn you; it's a little unconventional...but I think it's worth paying attention to this mental model.
Check out the FREE training material here to get more in depth into the framework.
👉 HELP OVER HERE (It's FREE)
Also there's a few more course offers for the Empathic Discipline/Parenting audio course where YOU get to pay what you want...click to pay what you want...get in quick before this goes away
9 ways...2023-03-0225 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 058: You're a failure? So what
Dealing with failure is not easy but handling it well can be the key to success.
COURSE OFFER
Be the influencer your child deserves
Empathic Discipline Audio Course: 9 key ways to succeed with empathic parenting
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CLICK HERE: PAY WHAT YOU WANT2023-02-2320 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 057: Are the kids going to be okay? If you're worried if your kids are going to be okay...tune in...and I'll help ease your mind.
But also...here's a little something for you to get you excited (I hope)
Empathic Discipline Audio Course: 9 keys to support your children's emotional wellbeing
💥The first 23 people to click here WIN! 💥 ... Pay what you want...nothing...or something! That's right!
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music by Infraction2023-02-1621 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 056: Crazy people don't thinkWe all go crazy sometimes. Let me tell you what to do when you do.
Empathy and Discipline course: www.huddlewisdom.com/practice
FREE training: www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools Learn how to make easy roadmaps that help you navigate emotional storms with your kids2023-02-0921 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 055: violence and youth part 22023-02-0306 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 054: Youth violence. What can we do about it?Violence and aggression is not abnormal but are there things we can do to minimize senseless harm in the world? Yes
We cannot pass the buck. We must take collective responsibility but it does not have to be onerous work at all.
In fact we can do better by using simple frameworks and mental models.
Let me show you how.
FREE training ➡️ Roadmaps for emotional storms
Huddlewisdom Course ✅ Help your kids to master their emotions with empathic parenting
3 part empathy model: Empathy triangle
2023-02-0127 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 053: Don't look at me, look at you!Children do as children do, our emotional responses says a lot more about us than it does about them. If you want to influence them well...let's talk about what we should do with ourselves first2023-01-2526 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 052: Empathy and influenceHow does being empathic help us become more influential.
Here's a framework for understanding this and get on your way to becoming more influential.
FREE training: Emotional Storms - mapping and navigating
www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools
Empathic discipline Audio course - be less stressed, and see your kids thrive! www.huddlewisdom.com/practice
music intro and outro by Infraction!2023-01-1932 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 051: stupid simple idea to calm your mind down2023-01-1610 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 050: lists don't work. Do this insteadIf you struggle organising yourself, try the 'circle board'. Efficiently structure your priorities and choices to get more of what's important done and liberate yourself from endless lists!!!!2023-01-1211 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 049: A word about Non Verbal CommunicationAnother drive home episode here. A brief word about non-verbal communication. Kids might not always use words but they say a lot with body language...learn to keep track of this. I'll tell you how you can start to speak 'non-verbalnese'2023-01-1011 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 048: Becoming influential in 2023!Hey my friends. Welcome to 2023.
Is this the year that you become influential? In your life, in the life of others you love and care about? I say yes...and I will show you how! I invite you to join me.
This episode is a special one for me. I'm podcasting from Kuching, Sarawak (my hometown) and although I indulge myself in a bit of intellectualising; I've marked the section here in case you want to skip over it, but i invite you to have a listen...you won't regret it.
[10:21 16:21- renovated me...2022-12-3153 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 047: Bye bye 2022 - recap of key themesIt's been a minute hasn't it? I summarise my favourite themes for the year from the podcast. Hope you'll join me for it. And hang out for the discount code for the empathic discipline course if you want 'stress-less' parenting and living! C'mon!
www.huddlewisdom.com/practice2022-12-2323 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 046: Why psychiatry sucks. And why it's awesome.In this episode I share my thoughts about what is wrong with psychiatry and what is right about it.
I hope it helps prospective students and trainees who want to pursue a career in psychiatry.
By the way...stay till the end to get the discount code for our first audio course 'The Practice of Empathic Discipline' - how to raise great kids with less stress!
www.huddlewisdom.com/practice
2022-12-1537 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 045: Mental models to help you stretch yourself2022-12-1213 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 044: Parents vs. Doctors. Who is right?These thoughts are my own. They are my opinion and doesn't constitute medical advice. I share my biased opinion here to generate discussion.
Who gets to make decisions about healthcare?...should it not be patients ?
Who gets to inform us of treatment options for medical treatment?...should it not be doctors?
What if parents disagree with doctors about what treatment they want for their child?...should it still not be the parent that makes the ultimate decision?
A recent case in NZ makes a real mess of things. Obfuscation o...2022-12-1016 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 043: Simplicity for maximum awesomenessSimplicity is not basic, but it's basically how we get to awesomeness. Any high level activity or skill requires a deep understanding of fundamental ideas that must be grasped at an advanced level in order to gain mastery...but many people fail to do the work because they think simple is boring...believe me it's not. Stay with me till the end for a gift to you from me...which i think you'll really like. Its' Christmas 2022!!!!! www.huddlewisdom.com/practice Spoiler: discount code for 70% off the price of the course...till the end of decemember. But you have...2022-12-0737 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 042: Decision fatigue...it's a thingAnother one from my drive home.
This time, decision fatigue...
You feel exhausted and you don't know why. Well you probably do but some people actually don't know.
What are the signs of decision fatigue? How do you tackle it?
www.huddlewisdom.com/practice (a simple method to minimise your parenting and child rearing stress!)2022-11-2220 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 041: The art of learning stuff...simple but not easyThe process of learning is not straight forward. I'm sure anyone reading this who has any experience working on skill acquisition will know the frustration of hitting walls and plateaus in training or learning. The way to deal with this, is to not care...and just keep training! but pull back on the intensity if you're feeling burnt out...just take it down a notch. Take stock. Think about where you want to be. What are your goals. Break them down smaller and laser focus on hitting smaller goals. Soon you'll be moving along just fine.
2022-11-1321 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 040: Rando questions from kids that you don't know how to answer!Me answering parent questions...this time...what if your kids ask you something you can't answer? also...check out...our course which helps you use what you've got to improve your kids emotional discipline www.huddlewisdom.com/practice2022-11-0609 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 039: Worried about spoiling your kids? Money, entitlement and the power of story.How do we not spoil our kids? Join me in this conversation with Evana Lithgow - a psychologist and who I consider an expert in helping families with the job of transferring and transition of wealth. Who better than to ask than Evana? Check out an article here which is really helpful www.w.campdenfb.com/article/did-great-great-great-grandpa-have-ipad-how-teach-your-children-wealth-responsibility Evana's Linkdin Profile: www.linkedin.com/in/evana-lithgow-35a92b15/ Evana's website: http://workingminds.co.nz/2022-11-0329 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 038: What is happiness?Another drive to work episode.
Thoughts about what it means to be happy.
It's not just about the absence of unhappiness.
I talk about external vs internal loci of control; reversion to the mean; values; and things that light us up.
I hope you get something out of this my friends.
www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools2022-10-2721 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 037: What am I worth?What is my value? What is my worth?
If you're interested, come and hang out with me on my drive to work (not literally) and I hope that the things I say on this episode will help you work through these important questions.
By the way. Here is the link to the toolkit for emotional storms that I mentioned www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools2022-10-2019 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 036: Why intuition might not help you in a zombie apocalypse!Zombies and Bayes Theorem. What?!
Okay, bear with me. Sometimes, our intuition leads us into perilous situations.
Our brains try to be helpful...but because of mental shortcuts...it doesn't always work out so well for us... So...we have to pause...think and rationalise.
Although we cannot predict the outcomes of a bad event.
We can increase the probability of a favourable outcome if we learn how to obtain good reliable data and information so we stand a better chance of avoiding bad outcomes...
it's not guaranteed to...2022-09-2924 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 035: Helping anxious kids - with clinical psychologist, Tanzi BennisonAnxiety affects us all. Adults, teachers, parents and kids. How do we help our anxious kids? especially when we're feeling awful ourselves or struggling with our own emotions.
Join me and tune in to my conversation with clinical psychologist Tanzi Bennison.
She also has a wonderful programme for schools and families which you should definitely check out! www.chillax.org.nz
I ask Tanzi some of the most common questions parents and teachers ask. And Tanzi gives us great practical help here. Don't miss it!2022-09-2240 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 034: Setting boundaries with your kids without the guiltWe can all feel bad when we're trying to set boundaries; sometimes we carry our baggage from the past with us into the present.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Sometimes our kids push back...that's normal...but it still feels hard.
I'll help you take the guilt out of setting boundaries. Jump in and i'll explain.
Here's the link to the emotional storm toolkit which i think will help take the anxiety out of navigating emotional storms.
www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools2022-09-1518 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 033: ADHD in brief part 2Just adding a little bit more knowledge for you knowledge-philes. I'll drip feed bits every so often to help us 'round' out our understanding of how ADHD affects kids and adults and that'll point us towards more individualised solutions for people I believe. By the way here's the link to the lecture I gave a month ago to a bunch of parents and teachers about how to teach kids to be more compassionate, empathic and influential! www.huddlewisdom.com/lecture2022-09-0811 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 032a: Teach your kids to see the good and bad in people (without the coughing!)Sorry for last week's dog's breakfast of an episode. Coughing and spluttering is not really great to listen to. This is episode 32a. In the audio I said 31a, that's wrong. It's 32a. Sorry...again.
You can listen to episode 32 which does contain some good stuff if you can forgive me for the coughing but this one consolidates all that stuff into one basic principle.
I also mentioned my interview with Anita Nowak PhD which was really a lot of fun. WE talked about the principles of empathy and how we can cultivate this and...2022-09-0520 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 032: How do you teach your kids to see the good and the bad in others?Humans like to split people and lump people into groups. You're in or you're out. How do we talk to our kids and teach them to see people as individuals so they don't breed unhelpful bias or prejudice in their thinking lives? Jump in and let's talk about it.2022-09-0133 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 031: How to make poo shineOur perceptions of things in life is not going to change reality, but it can change how we feel about ourselves, others and the future. In this episode I talk about the idea of how we can catch unhelpful thoughts that cause us to feel awful about things, and turn it around for ourselves... To find out more go to www.huddlewisdom.com/blog/poo Music by Infraction2022-08-2525 min
Purposeful Empathy with Anita NowakThe Benefits of “Empathy-Jamming” ft. Dr. Davin Tan Purposeful Empathy Hosted by Anita NowakWatch this episode to learn how to practice “empathic discipline” with kids.
Dr. Davin Tan is a New Zealand based psychologist and founder of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast, a series that aims to help people optimize their mental health through the power of empathy. In this episode, he unpacks the concept of “empathy jamming” and why it’s an important feature of his clinical practice. He also shares some tips about how adults can build more empathic relationships with children to bolster their mental health and diminish their fears and anxiety.
00:00 Introduction
00:23 About Dr. Davin...2022-08-2542 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 030: Reflections - I feel like i've failed...so what am I going to do about it?Personal reflections from yours truly about feeling like a failure and what I've been thinking about to get through it. Hope it helps.2022-08-1807 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 029: ADHD in briefIn this episode I talk briefly about how I like to conceptualise ADHD. It's a helpful way of 'seeing' ADHD and it helps us find creative ways to intervene and help those who have difficulties.2022-08-1108 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 028: How do I help someone who is depressed?The solution to other people's problems are not always easy to find. Sometimes it's not always what is needed in a moment of crisis. In this episode, I share my perspectives on depression and share some ideas as to how you might want to approach it if you come across someone who's struggling with depression. Just note that the information in this episode is not medical advice or psychiatric advice. It's my opinion and if you need clinical advice please go see your doctor; and if you need immediate clinical help go to your local mental health team. ........ The...2022-08-0412 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 027: How do I teach my children to empathise?My friends! Do you want your kids to know how to win friends and influence people? Here. Get some pearls of wisdom. You are welcome. Here are some of my favourite tips to help you teach your children to empathise well! It's not just for kids of course - adults will benefit too. Enjoy. Davin ps...check out www.huddlewisdom.com/jedimind (to learn more!)2022-07-2844 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 026: An empathic approach to school refusalSchool refusal is tough to deal with, but it is not impossible. Come hang out and we'll discuss it. Also check out the FREE resource to help you make roadmaps to navigate difficult emotions: www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools2022-07-2117 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 025: The case for empathy and how to develop itI was the naughty and loud kid at school...believe it or not. But I had a teacher who valued me - or at least I felt it. She empathised with me and I found a place in her class. I felt like I belonged because of her. You can hear more about that story her but I also talk about why empathy is so crucial for kids and how you can develop your empathic skills the Huddle Wisdom way, and make it your own. Intro music by Infraction (thank you!) To sign up for the Practice of Empathic...2022-07-1417 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 024: How do we empathise with those who disagree with us?We talk about how we can give others the benefit of the doubt while we attempt to understand their perspectives; so we are more reflective rather than reactive.
It's not easy, especially if you sense there is a deliberateness behind your interlocutor's invalidation. BUt hold the line. Do your best to empathise; it is worth it. Remember empathy does not mean you agree; it is simply a way to help you understand your interlocutor.
This can be quite disarming and it takes the wind out of the sails of a conflict; whic...2022-07-0719 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 023: How do I teach my kids and students to be resilient?Nothing in life that wasn't already given to us is free. We have to wake up every day and get after what we want. How do we impart such a way of living? Do we even want that for our kids? Well, I tell you know, it starts with you. Come hang out and I'll tell you more. Also - please go check out the Practice of Empathic Discipline. It has launched. It's awesome. It's an audio course for parents and teachers too busy to learn a whole course on fluffy emotional stuff. This here, are the keys to...2022-06-3014 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 023: How do I have empathy for those who disagree with me?It's not easy to hold your ground in the face of disagreement - rather than react and cause the other side to dig their heels in. How do you respond in a way that increases the likelihood of fruitful discussion? Empathy is the best way in my opinion. Remember empathy is not the same as agreement - it's simply a way to understand where your interlocutor is coming from so that you have the best information to then respond in a reflective manner rather than a reactive one.2022-06-3022 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 022: The traits of a rational empathWhile not an exhaustive list; these are 5 of the most common characteristics I come across in practice. And a few things that help find equilibrium. If you're not wired this way. It's all good, there are mental models that can help you cultivate the sort of 'sensitivity' that empaths have. To start learning a bit more about that, check out the free resource here: www.huddlewisdom.com/jedimind #huddlewisdom #empathymatters #emotionalintelligence #parents #teachers2022-06-2309 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 021: How to never ever be called a jerk!Golden rules to help you avoid jerkdom! Tune in now and start winning.2022-06-1611 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 020: How do we empathise accurately?Sometimes we get it wrong because we're in a rush to solve a problem for our loved ones. The problem is that sometimes we don't wait long enough to understand what it is they are trying to convey and we then put our connection at risk, and that means we don't get to help them solve their problem. So, let me talk you through how to empathise properly so that you can then help your loved one solve a problem!2022-06-0922 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 019: How do we pass our values onto our kids?No matter how hard we try to censor and filter things out for them, kids are like sponges, picking up on everything we say and do even if they don't fully understand the meaning of the information they've absorbed. It's part of our job to help them make sense of that information. In my view, the best times to impart our values is when we capitalise on so called teachable moments. It is in the act of living life that they see our values play out organically. It's all well and good to give them a didactic lecture on...2022-06-0213 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 018: Another school shooting? WTF. Why? Who can we blame?****WARNING**** This episode contains some material that might be distressing to some listeners. It contains recent news about the tragedy in Uvalde, Texas I share my thoughts about how we might process this and find some way of preventing such tragedy in the future. I hope it helps. Peace to you.2022-05-2613 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 017: Don't set goals until you get a fix on your intentionsDirecting our intent is a much more powerful way of transforming our lives than goal setting. Intrigued? Let me explain. Tune in to the episode and let's hang out!2022-05-1928 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 016: Don't praise your kids until you hear thisPraise and complimenting children can be a 2-edged sword. You have to know the pros and cons. Tune in to the episode and I'll give you the heads up. Go to www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools to get the FREE mini course ' Toolkit for Emotional Storms'2022-05-1207 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 015: How should we be dealing with sibling jealousy?Jealousy is normal, but if mismanaged it can lead to problems that we don't want down the road. Let's talk about how we prevent that. Check out the FREE mini-training resource here for empathic connection: huddlewisdom.com/jedimind Music by Infraction2022-05-0721 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 015: How should we deal with sibling Jealousy?Jealousy is normal, but if mismanaged it can lead to problems that we don't want down the road. Let's talk about how we prevent that.Check out the emotional storm toolkit here: FREEToolkit2022-05-0511 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 014: Can people with Autistic Spectrum Disorder empathise?There's a misconception that people with ASD can't empathise. That's not true, and I'll tell you why. What is empathy anyway? In this episode, I explore some of the ways we can help each other improve our social reading skills; irrespective of whether you have ASD or not.
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-04-2812 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 013: Sorry not sorry? Should we be more apologetic?I don't know about you but I'm notoriously bad at following my own advice. This week, I explore ideas around saying sorry. This episode is just as much for me as it is for anyone else who struggles to let go of hurt and offense. I hope it helps to lighten your spirits. Go well my friends.
I dive into this a little on the Huddle Wisdom blog. Say sorry more
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now...2022-04-2110 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 012: 3 ideas to improve your ability to connect with people and thrive!The key to being influential is connection.
You need to be able to connect with someone before they will trust you.
This is a critical skill for any business person, teacher, parent, doctor, human being.
Let me tell you about 3 ideas which I think is going to help you out. Let's huddle!
2022-04-1328 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 011: How to help socially anxious kidsSocial anxiety is normal. But if it gets in the way of our goals, then that's something worthy of intervention. So how do we start helping our kids with this? Let's huddle!
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-04-0721 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 010: Are you feeling stuck in a rut? Stop thinking straight! Let's talk about plateausIf you're frustrated that you're not making any progress. Let me see if I can help you out with a couple of mental models to see if we can move the needle.
I want to share a mental concept from my blog that I use when I'm feeling as though life is getting a bit wobbly and when it feels as though we're not on solid footing. I think that this idea along provides a powerful framework for keeping our emotions in check. Don't worry about the wobble!2022-04-0306 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastTackling the Imposter Syndrome Part 2Hey friends. I hope you are doing well. Join me on this episode as I spend a bit of time going over some key ideas that I think will help you manage the imposter syndrome. I've expanded on what I'd said in the first episode of the podcast, and I think you might find it helpful.
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-03-2720 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 009: Stop blaming and complainingHow satisfying it is sometimes to find a scapegoat for bad outcomes, but how easily we change our tune when a good outcome happens! Let's see if we can play by a different set of rules and live without needing to blame each other for stuff that just happens in life. Life would be so much better!
Attributing outcomes to individual strength or flaws is problematic if we don't learn to recognise the role of circumstances and the complex interactional factors in life that lead to said outcomes.
If we can learn to appreciate the rol...2022-03-2408 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 008: How do you handle your kids' backchatting?Backchatting can be really hard to deal with. It pushes our buttons doesn't it? But here are some ideas to help us cope, manage and teach our kids better ways of dealing with stress and conflict. Take care my friendly friends.
Read the blog here where we talk about 3 tips to help you cope with this. Backchatting - how to deal with this?
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-03-2308 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 007 Explaining how your emotions can get the better of you - Lizards and WizardsThere are times when bad decisions get made during emotional upheaval. We need our wizard brain to do the thinking. What's that? Let's discuss this a bit.
I write a little more about this on the Huddle Wisdom blog: Lizards and Wizards
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-03-1010 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 006: Stop self-limiting thoughts now!Hey friends. Join me on another work commute! A little streams of consciousness here but I hope it makes sense, and I hope this episode encourages you and enriches you today. Sometimes we can block ourselves from enjoying the life we have now, inspite of circumstances. We all struggle. I've got a few concepts and frameworks which I think you might find useful.
If you'd like to support the show please check out my page on buymeacoffee and buy me a coffee so I can keep this podcast going! Any help gratefully appreciated.
Get the FR...2022-03-0312 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 005: Emotional extremes. Correlates with radical thinking?My morning musings today after hearing first hand accounts from a Victoria University professor talking about young males who were part of the COVID19 mandate protests in Wellington attempt to set fire to a building with cloth doused with accelerant. Some observations from me here.
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-03-0305 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 004: Handling Emotional firestormsThese can be stressful, disorientating and confusing to deal with. Where do we begin? Have we got the time to figure this out? A framework would be really useful! Come join us for this episode. I know you'll find it helpful. The website (www.huddlewisdom.com) is under construction, but it's coming soon, I swear!
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-02-2422 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 003: Road Rage AntidotesJoin me on my drive to work! As I do my best not to do any road ragey things! Fundamental Attribution Bias/error is the culprit. How do we stop it and allow us to have a much more pleasant drive to wherever we need to be?
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-02-2207 min
The Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 002: Busting Unhelpful Thought PatternsThis is a follow up to last week's episode (Tackling the Imposter Syndrome) where we explore the power of self inquiry; asking ourselves good questions. How do we construct good questions that allow us to find the answers we need to help bust unhelpful thought patterns? Huddle up and let's get into it!
Get the FREE Toolkit for Emotional Storms/Meltdowns/Tantrums here: Emotional Storm Toolkit FREE
Bust Unhelpful Thought Patterns now with this cheatsheet: Bust Unhelpful Thoughts2022-02-1710 minThe Huddle Wisdom PodcastEpisode 001: Tackling the Imposter SyndromeHave you ever felt as though you're just pretending to be something you're not, but still aspire to something greater? I know that I do everyday. Fighting our own inner critic can be a rough match, leaving us worn out - sometimes, we need someone in our corner rooting for us. Perhaps the way to taking it down is simpler than we thought; it's certainly not easy, but having a tried and true strategy would be quite handy to get us back in the game. I'll talk about my favourite moves here in this episode, but it does involve...2022-02-1008 min