Shows
Coping With GhostingGhosting and Mental Health for Cis and Trans Queer Guys: A Conversation with Rahim ThawerIn this episode of Coping with Ghosting, host Gretta Perlmutter is joined by Rahim Thawer, MSW, RSW, a racialized, queer social worker and author of The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys: Skills to Cope and Thrive as Your Authentic Self. Together, they explore the emotional toll of ghosting specifically on gay, bi, trans, or queer guys, and how internalized shame, dating app culture, and communication gaps uniquely affect this community. Rahim offers insights from his new book, shedding light on how queer guys can navigate rejection, heal from ghosting, and reframe their experience. This candid...
2025-06-0140 min
Tune In To The Transformative Full Audiobook Now, Curious Minds!The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys by Rahim Thawer MSW RSWPlease visithttps://thebookvoice.com/podcasts/2/audible/48030to listen full audiobooks.
Title: The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys
Author: Rahim Thawer MSW RSW
Narrator: Curtis Michael Holland
Format: mp3
Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
Release date: 06-01-25
Ratings: Not rated yet
Genres: Relationships
Publisher's Summary:
The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys offers you a safe, inclusive space to examine, understand, and heal from systemic and interpersonal threats to your mental well-being. Based on proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this book provides proven-effective tools and exercises to help you reflect on, confront, and manage...
2025-06-015h 59
The CBT DiveCBT Shorts: The Aftermath of Being GhostedWe all know how infuriating it can be when someone ghosts you after a couple of dates. It's okay to feel frustrated and deceived. But what else comes up for you in those moments? đ€In our latest Shorts episode, we're bringing you the key moments from the original episode so you can dive into the heart of the discussion where we explore the underlying fears that reawaken in the emotional aftermath of being ghosted. These include fears of being unworthy or not masculine enough for gay dating culture and the overarching fear of never finding happiness. đ„Join...
2024-08-2041 minThe CBT DiveCBT Shorts: Canât Break My Soul - When Dating Meets Grind CultureIn this special Shorts episode, we revisit some highlights from a previous season that dive deep into personal journeys and the challenges of dating apps. Our guest, Terence, believes that everyone is on their unique path. Yet, he struggles with feelings of resentment when judged by people with impressive job titles and comfortable bank accounts.Join host Rahim Thawer and Terence as they invoke the wisdom of Beyonce to reframe Terenceâs feelings of inadequacy. They explore how capitalism and grind culture can be especially tough for those managing trauma and adult ADHD. Watch as Rahim guides Te...
2024-08-0636 minThe CBT DiveWhen your queerness feels constantly challengedLindsay Wynn, founder and CEO of Momotaro Apotheca, shares her experience of feeling excluded and questioned about her bisexual identity at a gay bar. She explores the feelings of self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and sadness that arose from this encounter. Lindsay reflects on her journey of self-discovery and the challenges of navigating her sexual identity. As Rahim walks Lindsay through the Thought Record, Lindsay discusses her experiences and challenges as a bisexual woman and the fear of not being queer enough. Lindsay reflects on her own privilege and the importance of ongoing reflection and awareness. Overall, Lindsay emphasizes the need...
2024-07-2331 minThe CBT DiveGetting out of your mind and into your body with somatic therapyInstead of exploring thoughts patterns using CBT this episode, Rahim interviews somatic counsellor Megan Blair, who then guides him through a mini session where Rahim plays the role of the client who is encouraged to explore what his body is experiencing and what insight it can give him.They discuss the practice of somatic experiencing and its focus on the mind-body connection. Megan explains that somatic counselling is a body-based practice that looks at the mind-body connection and uses various modalities such as somatic experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and Focusing. They explore how somatic counselling can help...
2024-07-0938 minThe CBT DiveCBT Shorts: Muscles and my fear of being overlookedIn this bonus Shorts episode of The CBT Dive, weâve taken the highlights from a previous season for you to dip into. Host and psychotherapist Rahim Thawer talks with Al about body image concerns amongst gay men and the pressures to either achieve or maintain a particular physique. This preoccupation is about optimising the ways they can participate in gay men's spaces, including dating and hookup culture.Al seemingly has the body he's always wanted but we dig a bit deeper into the culture of 'never being enough' that begins with a fear of being overlooked an...
2024-06-2526 minThe CBT DiveParenting an ageing parent: Offering care with renewed boundariesOur guest this episode is a medical worker named Ale who joins psychotherapist and host Rahim Thawer to discuss his complicated relationship with his mom and the difficult feelings that arise when she calls asking him for money. In a departure from our usual episode, Rahim pivots from using a thought record to using a problem solving worksheet to better address the logistics of Aleâs situation. The conversation revolves around two main objectives: providing stability for Ale's mother and developing an adult relationship with her. The possible solutions discussed include Ale's mother moving to Canada, her fin...
2024-06-1137 minThe CBT DiveFeeling frazzled and not knowing where to startHost and psychotherapist Rahim Thawer talks with David, a masters student who is struggling with balancing his career with his schoolwork. Together they delve into the feelings and thoughts of dread, exhaustion, urgency, and self-criticism that emerge in the evening when David is done with work for the day but procrastinates before starting his schoolwork. They also touch on the concept of misattribution of arousal and the fear of financial decline due to academic challenges. The themes of energy, capacity, and comparison with peers emerge as central to the automatic thoughts.ABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCAST...
2024-05-2841 minThe CBT DiveCBT Shorts: Trepidation of being a "bottom" on GrindrIn this bonus Shorts episode of The CBT Dive, weâve taken the highlights from a previous season for you to dip into. Host and psychotherapist Rahim Thawer talks with Adnan about his experience with hesitating to indicate heâs a âbottomâ on dating app due to femmephobia and bottom-shaming in the gay community.ABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is a video podcast that brings therapy skills to the real world. Each episode welcomes a new guest who wants to explore a challenging situation using the most common cognitive behavioural therapy tool: the thought...
2024-05-1334 minThe CBT DiveMasking jealousy with stoicism in a poly relationshipIn this conversation, psychotherapist and host Rahim Thawer is joined by José, a psychologist and poet who lives with their partner. José shares their experience as the anchor partner in a polyamorous relationship and they explore the feelings and behaviors that arise in certain situations, such as when their partner shows affection to another partner but not them. Rahim guides Jose through examining the automatic thoughts and consequences that result from these experiences, including feelings of being replaced or inadequate. The conversation highlights the importance of open communication and understanding in navigating polyamorous relationships. In this conversation, Rah...
2024-04-2931 minThe CBT DiveCBT Shorts: My father is dishonest and consistently disappointingIn this bonus CBT Shorts episode, weâve taken the highlights from a previous season for you to dip into. Host and psychotherapist Rahim Thawer talks with Farrah about her experience with a dishonest and disappointing father.ABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is a video podcast that brings therapy skills to the real world. Each episode welcomes a new guest who wants to explore a challenging situation using the most common cognitive behavioural therapy tool: the thought record. ABOUT HOSTRahim Thawer is a queer, racialized social worker and psychotherapist ba...
2024-04-2320 minThe CBT DiveReframing the fear of being excludedHost and therapist Rahim Thawer talks to Vance, a sex and intimacy coach, who discusses his behaviors and thoughts when he feels excluded, and his desire for a group of friends. Vance shares his experiences with friendships and the fear of being too much for others. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the isolation that can come with personal growth and the importance of being understood by a small group of people.ABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is a video podcast that brings therapy skills to the real world. Each episode welcomes...
2024-04-0940 minThe CBT DiveWhen capitalism turns you against yourselfPsychotherapist and host Rahim Thawer and Riz discuss Rizâs travel adventures and how they have led to unique stressors and insights into his relationship with money. Riz shares situations that have brought up difficult feelings, such as feeling cheated and disappointed when spending money on experiences that don't meet his expectations. Rahim helps Riz identify his automatic thoughts and behaviors that arise in these situations, including self-criticism and questioning his choices. Overall, this conversation explores the complex emotions and rumination surrounding money and personal experiences.ABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is...
2024-04-0240 minThe CBT DiveWhen you're trying to disrupt the trauma of povertyIn this episode, host Rahim Thawer talks to Kae about the recurring feelings of stress around when rent is due. The conversation explores Kae's thoughts and emotions related to financial struggles, self-criticism, and worries about falling back into unhealthy habits. Rahim and Kae also cover topics such as maintaining psychological safety, rationalizing thoughts, and the fear of not being able to escape past trauma and financial difficulties.With the use of the âThought Record,â Rahim talks Kae through identifying the feelings, behaviours, and automatic thoughts that come up for Kae on the morning she has...
2024-03-1938 minThe CBT DiveE22 The aftermath of being ghostedWhen youâre ghosted by someone after a couple of dates, itâs legitimately infuriating. Itâs okay to feel frustrated and even deceived. But, what else comes up for you in those moments? In this episode, we explore the underlying fears that get reawakened after a ghosting experience. These include fears of being unworthy or unattractive and also an overarching fear of never finding happiness. Through the therapeutic process, this guest unexpectedly challenges beliefs about the formulas and frameworks of relationship-seeking. -WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mail...
2022-10-021h 49The CBT DiveE21 Interview: Culturally adapted CBT and treatment for complex disorders, in-person and onlineIn this interview, Dr. Farooq Naeem shares his longstanding research interest in CBT and culture. He discusses how CBT concepts can conflict with the beliefs of people in non-Western cultures and then delves into the various ways people can understand and approach depression and schizophrenia from their own worldviews. He also discusses his research on using CBT for psychosis and delivering CBT interventions by e-mail.GUEST BIO: Farooq Naeem is a Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto and a psychiatrist at the Centre for Addiction & Mental Health. Dr. Naeem pioneered techniques for culturally adapting CBT...
2022-09-0444 minThe CBT DiveE20 Interview: Adapting CBT interventions for sexual and gender minoritiesIn this interview, Dr. Trevor Hart discusses the need for CBT interventions that target sexual and gender minorities (SGM) and explains how they differ from standard psychotherapy. He addresses some of the critiques that are often shared about the CBT approach and shares his perspectives on the utility of goal-oriented models. Finally, he tells listeners what resources they can avail themselves of to learn more about SGM-affirming CBT.GUEST BIO: Dr. Trevor Hart is the Director of the HIV Prevention Lab at the Toronto Metropolitan University, Department of Psychology. He is also a Research Chair in Gay...
2022-08-2139 minThe CBT DiveE19 Questioning my lived experience as a valid credentialWhen community organizations create roles for people with lived experience, how does this get experienced on the employee side? In this episode, we talk to a harm reduction activist, drug user, and community worker committed to gay men's health. He explores the imposter syndrome and feelings of self-doubt when working next to academics and other credentialed folks. -WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.caMy socials: ladyativan.comABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is a video podcast t...
2022-08-071h 13The CBT DiveE18 Self-criticism as a motivator or reinforcer of low self-worthYou have a work assignment but you avoid getting started, worry about failure, catastrophize, and then negate positive feedback when it's been submitted and reviewed. Sound familiar? In this episode, we explore a common but frustrating pattern. We query the possibility of Adult ADHD and locate its roots in childhood family dynamics. Sebastien leaves the session more insightful about how he came to believe that self-criticism was a good motivator. -WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.caMy socials: ladyativan.comA...
2022-07-261h 01The CBT DiveE17 Performative activism and the betrayal of a close friendIf you were called out publicly (or worse, cancelled altogether), would your closest friends stick by your side and be there for you? In this episode, we examine the impact of being betrayed by close friends on social media for their own self-preservation. We also explore how the loss, grief, and trauma can permeate all future relationships and leave you with self-doubt anytime you decide to trust someone. -WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.caMy socials: ladyativan.comABOUT THE C...
2022-07-121h 15The CBT DiveE16 Canât Break My Soul - When Dating Meets Grind CultureWeâre all on our individual journeys. Thatâs what this guest strongly believes. Still, thereâs legitimate resentment that comes up when you feel judged by people on dating apps who appear to be well sorted with their nice job titles and cushy bank accounts. In this episode, we conjure up Beyonce to help reframe the feelings of inadequacy that arise when capitalism and grind culture donât fit for people who are working through trauma and managing symptoms of Adult ADHDâwhich, of course, are overlooked experiences of responsible adulting. -WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN...
2022-06-281h 14The CBT DiveE15 Honouring my identity and being expereienced as righteousFriendships come easily to some of us while others struggle to be seen, understood, and affirmed. In this episode, we explore the story of someone who felt outcast by a group of peers who saw him as inconsistent around his values and behaviour. And, the skills to mend the ruptures were hard to conjure up on both sides of the divide. BrownGayRealness examines his subsequent fears about the possibility of maintaining long-term relationships with people.-WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.ca...
2022-06-141h 47The CBT DiveE14 What it means for a queer woman to close the door on having childrenWhile gay men often toss out their straight-world rule book and start anew, queer women don't always have the same luxury. Women are socialized, encouraged, and pressured to be so many things, including maternal. In this episode, Telsa considers what it means to be with a partner who doesn't want children. As a queer woman in her mid-thirties, she's torn between choosing love and the finality of closing the door on having her own children, especially when all her peers are talking about diapers and strollers.-WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get...
2022-05-311h 36The CBT DiveE13 I experience intense connection and intense lossWhat do your friends expect from you when you make plans together? Sometimes we might feel like we have to bring only positive energy or always be helpful in some way. In this episode, we gently shift away from assumptions about toxic friendships and begin to consider how low self-worth might contribute to our relationships going downhill.-WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.caMy socials: ladyativan.comABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is a video...
2022-05-171h 18The CBT DiveE12 On being the target of displaced hostilityDo you ever have to avoid some of your colleagues at work because you're certain a short exchange will end up being something bigger, something unnecessarily draining? What does this mean if you're the boss and anticipating the drain from your employees? In this episode, we talk to Lori-the-manager who begins to anticipate staff anger and hostility any time she attempts to introduce new policies to keep pace with the needs of an environment that regularly endures client crises. We explore the dynamics of a workplace where a woman of colour is in the driver's seat and collective experiences...
2022-05-031h 16The CBT DiveE11 The time I cursed at myself over a small mistakeDo you ever scold yourself for small mistakes? What's underneath that tendency to self-punish? In this episode, Dawn examines the time she cursed at herself for merely leaving a water bottle in her car. We did a deep dive to unearth a core belief around (in)competence and fears of future failures.-WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.caMy socials: ladyativan.comABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive is a video podcast that brings therapy skills...
2022-04-191h 26The CBT DiveE10 Career planning in my 40's and the grief of time passedSometimes self-doubt increases with age. And, we look back at the bold decisions of our twenties and thirties and wonder if we made the right choices. In this episode, Phil examines his grief, regret, and anxiety about changing careers in his mid-40s and wonders if he really should have left his post-secondary studies for a partner over a decade ago. -WATCH at thecbtdive.caLISTEN wherever you get podcasts!-Join my mailing list: affectiveconsult.caMy socials: ladyativan.comABOUT THE CBT DIVE PODCASTThe CBT Dive...
2022-04-051h 14