Shows
The Unburdened LeaderEP 90: Engaged and Consistent Leadership: with Moms Demand Action Founder, Shannon WattsWhen you see a need, what do you do? Do you jump in and try to solve the problem? Or do you think about it for a while and workshop all the options and scenarios in your head before deciding whether to take action or not? Both ways can be valid, needed, and valuable. And both have their pitfalls. When we jump in to solve a need or problem, we can end up on a path to a cras...
2023-10-271h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 89: Navigating Gender Bias: Leadership Steps for Workplace Equality with Amy Diehl, PhDWhen people talk about gender bias and sexism, what comes to mind? Are you clear about when gender bias happens to you and around you? Or does it feel so common it’s hard to discern?The mixed messages about how to respond to gender bias and sexism keep us flailing, even when there are efforts to make meaningful change. We need to make these changes at all levels of leadership and as long the burden to make the changes continues to be on thos...
2023-10-131h 05The Unburdened LeaderEP 88: Right-Use-of-Power: Navigating Leadership Dynamics with Dr. Cedar BarstowWould you call yourself a powerful person? Do you trust yourself with power? Does owning your power feel a bit like holding a hot potato?The many ways we learn about power–often by having it taken away from us, seeing it taken away from others, or seeing people go to great lengths to take and keep power, no matter the cost or casualties–understandably influence our understanding of power for the worse. We have benefitted from many pioneering scholars and social justice leaders who de...
2023-09-2959 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 87: Authoritarianism in Cultish and High-Demand Communities with Bradley OnishiDo you know if you have ever been a part of a cultish or high-demand community? Do you know what qualities to look for in a high-demand community?High-demand communities may bring images of cults with extreme behaviors, demands, and rituals to your mind. But when you examine the communities you love, some fall on the spectrum of cultish or high-demand communities. Cultish and high-demand communities fall on a spectrum, and not everyone associated with a group or organization with those tendencies necessarily falls into the trance of these s...
2023-09-151h 11The Unburdened LeaderEp 86: Humaning Together: Integrating Grief and Lived Experience with Kathy EscobarYour relationship with grief impacts all your relationships - whether you know it or not. While the experience of grief is universal, we still react to grief in ways that often stigmatize and alienate our grief or the grief of others in the name of professionalism, boundaries, and self-protection. And when we face a loss from suicide and all the layers and nuances of this particular type of loss, it can bring up a lot for us and those we lead. Disenfranchised grief refers to a loss tha...
2023-09-011h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 85: Team Habits: Redefining Workplace Dynamics with Charlie GilkeyGroups are a microcosm of life and the greater systems in which we live and work. We learn so much about ourselves and others in groups. They refine our leadership and communication skills. They highlight our growth edges and our capacity for conflict. And they can bring out the best - and the worst - in us, sometimes at lightning speed. So many of us can recall frustrating and, too often, harmful experiences working in teams. Whether it’s a team member that drags everyo...
2023-08-181h 12The Unburdened LeaderEP 84: Recalibrating Success and Accomplishment with Martha BitarWhen you look back on your career trajectory, what do you notice? Do you see an even trajectory in your career path? Or has your career taken some hard curves outside of the expected norms? What can seem like a setback in our planned career path can sometimes lead us to experiences that we would never have pursued - opening us up to ideas and possibilities that we would never have imagined.It is moments like these that can often help us break free fr...
2023-08-041h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 83: Cultivating a Practice of True Play with Gary WareDo you have a relationship with play?Do you integrate time to play into your life around work and rest?Or does play feel elusive or like a luxury?If it does, you’re not alone.So many of us are weary and weighed down, trying to stay afloat while keeping up with life, work, and being engaged citizens. And we live in a culture that continues to prioritize work and productivity over play and rest....
2023-07-211h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 82: Beyond the Stigma: Prioritizing Needs Without Judgement with Mara GlatzelHave you ever wondered if you are too much or too needy? We carry a lot of baggage around our needs, others’ needs, and the many mixed messages about having needs but doing everything possible to not be seen as ‘being needy’.The result? A relentless pursuit to keep our needs hidden, fueling feelings of scarcity, shame, and worry.But needs are an inherent part of being human.In a society that has weaponized needs so that if you need, y...
2023-07-071h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 81: Beyond Optics: Leadership and Meaningful Inclusion with Sand Chang, PhDInclusion.It’s a word that evokes strong emotions and reactions for many people. Some see it as a polarizing issue that elicits extreme rhetoric, while others recognize the need for us to confront discomfort and take responsibility for the impact of our leadership.We have to consider what inclusion means to us, what it feels like, and how it shows up in our work and personal lives.Because all too often, inclusion is reduced to a performative, box-checking act, instead of an opportunity to...
2023-06-231h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 80: The Safety Spectrum: Navigating Discomfort and Cultivating Safe Spaces with Tasha Hunter, MSW, LCSWAre you a safe person? Do you cultivate and lead spaces that are safe? And how do you know the difference between lack of safety and discomfort? The hard truth is that we can never declare a person or a space “safe.” We can do all we can to cultivate safety within ourselves and we can be intentional about doing our best to be safe but we cannot name a space or a person safe. That is for others to decide. Which is vulnerable and cha...
2023-06-091h 12The Unburdened LeaderEP 79: Leading with Curiosity and Cultivating Authentic Connections with Toni Herbine-Blank, MS, RN, C-SPConflict and discomfort are inevitable–in all areas of our work and life. Now, most of us carry some kind of relational or betrayal trauma.And these burdens impact how we lead and move through conflict, discomfort, and difference. So when a rupture happens, there is often a rush to find comfort with some kind of a bid for repair. But if we do not do the work to reflect on our own systems’ needs first, we can end up doing more harm and continue to feel hooked by a situation.Withou...
2023-05-261h 15The Unburdened LeaderEP 78: The Intersection of Relational Trauma and Business Boundaries with Heidi TaylorYour past experiences and relationships inform how you lead and run your business today, whether you are aware of it or not.Overworking, perfectionism, fear of failure, crappy boundaries due to people pleasing or micro-managing can all stem from our relational history. One of the more insidious aspects of trauma that can impact leaders and entrepreneurs is relational trauma, which can be difficult to identify and heal.Unhealed relational trauma wounds often lie outside of our awareness leading to an unconscious drive to repeat the painful patterns we experienced in our present-day business a...
2023-05-121h 02The Unburdened LeaderEP 77: Inclusive Leadership: Welcoming and Creating Space for Neurodiversity with Jessie Ginsburg & Chris WengerDo you consider yourself a sensitive person when it comes to sounds, smells, physical sensations, or taste?Do you judge this kind of sensitivity in yourself or others? Many people feel caught in the vice grip of having a nervous system that responds strongly to various kinds of sensory stimulation while also feeling judged and deeply misunderstood for being sensitive to things that others appear not to be bothered by in their day-to-day lives.If you feel like you are too much or know s...
2023-04-281h 21The Unburdened LeaderEP 76: Changing the Conversation on Autism with Eric GarciaWhat does it mean to you to be broken? To be normal? And who gets to decide what it means to be broken or whole?We live in a culture obsessed with fixing anything deemed broken - from stuff to people.We need to create spaces where we do not see difference as broken.And we do this by not settling for our current ways of navigating our discomfort with difference while pushing back on the burdened definition of what is normal and what i...
2023-04-2156 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 75: Leading from the Intersection of Culture, Identity, and Sustainability with Jeffrey Brown & Jennifer ChenWhen you see a need or have a vision for something, what do you do? Especially when there is a lot going on in your life and in the world. Do you jump in and take action or do you get in your head with all the what-ifs and to-do lists so much so that you do not even start to explore or take action?Many of us do both.But there are folks who take action and do something that supports the greater good, even when it feels too hard and there are many...
2023-03-311h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 74: Leading in Hard Times With Values and Boundaries with Kristen Campbell, DPT“Do you respect yourself when you look back on the hard times in your life?”Do you look back on your hard times and feel good about how you led yourself and others? And when you go through a perfect storm of events in your life, what are the certainty anchors and relationships that helped you stay afloat when it felt hard to keep breathing?Taking the time to honestly reflect on how we feel about ourselves and our choices during a hard time helps us stay present in how...
2023-03-171h 05The Unburdened LeaderEP 73: The Potential of Psychedelics to Help and Heal with Victor CabralPsychedelics are having a mainstream moment. They continue to gain a bigger presence in our cultural awareness beyond their druggy stereotype over the last several decades. Psychedelics also continue to grow as an approach to treating certain mental health conditions leading many people to rethink the role of these drugs from solely being dangerous to possible catalysts of healing.Over the last several years, studies using psychedelics like Ketamine and MDMA have been released focusing on complex PTSD and depression in individuals who had wh...
2023-03-031h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 72: Identifying and Addressing the Burdens of Individualism with Deran Young & Dick SchwartzRugged individualism occupies the heart of American mythology.We pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. We ignore structural inequality and rely on our “can do” attitudes. We take on the personal shame of job loss or bankruptcy or health struggles. And we unquestionably accept that to make it in America, all we need to do is work hard.Are we happier and is our society stronger for all our self-reliance? Or does individualism exacerbate the political, social, and interpersonal issues that cause us all so much pain? And in what ways do we collu...
2023-02-241h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 71: Countering Cultures Obsessive Pursuit of Health with Jason and Lauren PakHow we talk about health matters.Conversations about health are pervasive–when we get to know each other, when we play catch up, at kid pick-ups, and in between calls or meetings. Many of us see these conversations as benign since they are so commonplace and seem universal in their relatability.Yet, these conversations matter because so many of our beliefs around health are connected to a more complicated web of power and profit that burdens our culture and our own well-being.
2023-02-031h 11The Unburdened LeaderEP 70: Getting out of Shame and Into Power with Kelly DielsWe need to talk about power.Like, get into the nitty gritty details on what we believe about power, how we move around power, and how we see ourselves in relationship to power. We need to get really clear on how we define it so we can truly understand the impact that our definitions of power have on our beliefs and actions. There are too many examples of people in power who still have a dated and toxic view of power while others struggle to...
2023-01-201h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 69: Remembering the January 6th Insurrection with Julie TagenWhen we ignore our collective losses and tragedies, we only compound the pain they generate. And when we feel like our pain is ignored or we cannot share it, remembering can become complicated. And how we lead can become toxic. No matter your age, you have moments in your life that are embedded in your nervous system–the time, the place, who you were with–when something significant happened in your world that shook you to your core. When we experience significant collective losses, who we w...
2023-01-061h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 68: 2022 Debrief: Slower Is FasterToday I am bringing back my annual debrief to the podcast. Looking back on 2022 has been fruitful and offered a lot of data collecting. You know I love to collect data and review what choices, behaviors, and commitments were kept and which of them were not honored. But looking back has not always been a practice or something I enjoyed. In fact, it felt counterintuitive to me. I know many business spaces normalize this practice but a trauma-informed lens, plus working with hundreds of people over the years, has tau...
2022-12-2327 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 67: Emotional Labor, Social Capital, and #vulnerability with Tara McMullinWe all connect with the power of vulnerability in ourselves and in others. And vulnerability continues to be misunderstood and misappropriated in marketing businesses and services, political campaigns, legislative agendas, and leadership, to name a few. These days, discerning between true vulnerability and what today’s guest calls #vulnerability can become a real challenge.When vulnerability is used with an agenda to acquire more community, brand awareness, or social capital, this agenda moves us away from the heart of this courageous state.
2022-12-091h 20The Unburdened LeaderEP 66: Rethinking Self-Care and Workplace Wellbeing with Dr. Michelle BartonOne of the biggest challenges to self-care is that it means different things to different people. Is it bubble baths and facials? Nice vacations and or buying a coveted outfit or pair of shoes? Or is it advocating for reasonable wages and safe working conditions? For some, self-care is a justification to splurge or just take a dang day off when a justification sadly should not be needed. For others, self-care is a means of survival and maintaining the capacity to keep moving forward when things feel bleak.And all too often, self-care is...
2022-11-251h 16The Unburdened LeaderEP 65: Choosing Honest Over Perfect: Transparent Business Practices with Barrett WardConscious consumption is one of the hottest trends in retail marketing. We shop to make a difference, have an impact, build a better world. But many of the businesses that claim to be doing good are running on business models or operating principles that are hardly disruptive. Instead, they're counting on consumers' desire to both have their cake and eat it too. The more companies can convince us that shopping equals advocacy, the more we'll buy. ...
2022-11-111h 15The Unburdened LeaderEP 64: Coping is Not Healing: Making Sense of the Pain with Natalie Gutierrez Part 2The mental load we all carry right now is next level.But just because this load is invisible does not make it any less important. Kids, pets, aging family members, school, work, the economy, democracy, access to safe and affordable health care, chronic health issues - the list goes on and on, and feels like it keeps piling on without relief or end in sight. On top of this, we carry past pains and difficult life experiences too. And most...
2022-10-281h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 63: How Choosing Nice Can Lead to More Harm with Jenny Booth PotterThere is a difference between nice and kind.Niceness is appeasing and complacent. Kindness is loving and generous.Niceness, in IFS terms, can be experienced as a strong protector shielding us from vulnerability and risk by over-accommodating others. True kindness, on the other hand, connects us to our compassion and our values.We sacrifice our integrity to play nice, to go along to get along. When we lead from niceness, we sugar coat and people please. While this may offer some relief, this posture...
2022-10-141h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 62: Coping is Not Healing: Making Sense of the Pain with Natalie Gutierrez Part 1We all carry pain. All of us. We navigate the vice grip of the pains from our past along with the pains from the present while trying to keep it all together. And when things break, we often carry the blame and responsibility for our pain because we’ve absorbed the messages that our struggles are our sole responsibility; neglecting to see the systems, the business practices, and the cultural norms that weigh us down, too.As a result, the desire to control our emot...
2022-09-301h 00The Unburdened LeaderEP 61: Mental Health and Entrepreneurship: Confronting the Stigmas with Jason Van OrdenQuick-fix solutions abound for mental health challenges. As leaders, we’re fed the same advice over and over again. Generic one-size-fits-all “thought work” designed to alleviate our gloom and get us back on the road to success.But that generic advice comes up short. And much of it further stigmatizes mental health struggles, failure, and doubt to the point where people fake it until they make it and then end up face down in a serious mental health crisis. We as leaders and business owners h...
2022-09-161h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 60: Enneagram, Anti-racism, and Resilience with Jessica DicksonWe often look at the results of quizzes and personality assessments for language to help describe ourselves to others. And to better understand ourselves. These assessments can help us manage how we hire, date, and even want others perceive us. The language of these tests can fuel connection and belonging within and with others–to an extent.But it can also be used to sort, judge, or even shame aspects of another’s personality. These assessments can be used to silo an aspect of how pe...
2022-09-021h 05The Unburdened LeaderEP 59: The Transformational Power of Conversational Leadership with Daniel StillmanHow you talk to yourself often reflects how you lead and how you talk with others. The harshness of your inner conversations seeps through into your conversations with others. The vice grip of judgment, resentment, and out of aligned expectations you’re holding combined with the burdens from difficult life experiences make it loud between the ears. We navigate our internal conversations while simultaneously engaging in conversations with others. It gets messy and the inner conversations eventually spill out to our external conversations. But our in...
2022-08-191h 10The Unburdened LeaderEP 58: An Ecosystem Approach to Leading Community and Business with Pamela SlimWhen you experience something that elicits an emotional response at work, you respond according to the extent of the emotional burdens you carry.Our burdens come from our past traumas combined with the real-time heart-wrenching news–on repeat–we are moving through right now in our country. And our places of work can also be ground zero for some really painful experiences or where we relive difficult life experiences. When we can connect the impact of our traumatic and difficult life experiences to how we lea...
2022-08-051h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 57: Toxic Proving, Gender Bias, and the Not-Enough Loop with Wendy CollieWhen we spend most of our time trying to prove our worth, our proving shifts to looking for safety and validation from external sources and delegates our worth to others.When we engage in this kind of proving, we end up in what I call the “not enough” loop.The not enough loop is rooted in the belief that if you can change or fix yourself based on these external metrics–the standard of enough–you’ll get relief and feel more secure and capable.But it o...
2022-07-221h 11The Unburdened LeaderEP 56: The Intersection of Leadership, Brand, and Inner Work with Nicole "Ziza" BauerIt feels like we are in a collective hangover right now as we unlearn toxic ways of viewing difficult emotions, life experiences, and just being human.And the commitment to understand those unpleasant feelings or aspects of ourselves isn’t any less daunting. It’s hard work to discover why we can’t set and maintain boundaries or deepen the courage to speak up when the stakes are high.But our capacity for discomfort creates our capacity to lead with courage.Our ability to work w...
2022-07-011h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 55: Embodied Leadership: Pushing Back and Speaking Truth with Lisa GungorWhen being right is more important to you than being in relationship, difference and questioning become something to fear.And fear shuts down connection and curiosity.Unattended grief and rage are fertile ground for fear to have a party with our capacity to stay curious and welcome the discomfort of doubt and questions. And trust cannot exist without the ability to share and question the norms and beliefs of a community. When we lead or are led this way, qu...
2022-06-171h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 54: Honoring the Fullness of Your Grief with Marisa Renee LeeIf you don't take time to grieve, your body will make the time for you. Grief is an emotion that does not respond to intellectual strategies or hacks. It has a job to do and it will take you out if you do not listen to it. And there are not many spaces that encourage you to take the time to tend to the fullness of your grief. Work deadlines are still looming. Bills still need to be paid. Family care needs are still all...
2022-06-031h 05The Unburdened LeaderEP 53: Leading a Sustainable Business & Life Without Burning Out with Racheal CookOur bodies are often the wisest parts of who we are, but we regularly over-ride the messages they send us when they tell us when we’re at capacity. We push through, over-work, see physical and emotional pain as something to overcome instead of important data to take into account about our needs and how we are living. And even if we do take in these messages clearly and see the need for needed shifts and care, it feels like change is not an option or acceptable.
2022-05-201h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 52: Charlie Gilkey: Leading With What Matters MostWhen you are not clear on what truly matters most to you, how you decide to use your precious time can leave you feeling overwhelmed and lost. And even your sense of time and what you can get done gets skewed by the tyranny of the urgent. Or comparison to how others are doing life and work. Striving and grinding is still the norm in so many spaces. The message is still suck it up, chin up, get it done. And falling or failing is on you and you al...
2022-05-061h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 51: Leading Transformational Communities with Shannon Siriano GreenwoodThe desire to be seen, loved, and belong drives so many of our decisions. Especially when it comes to connecting in community.Community plays a powerful role in our wellbeing and culture.But what happens when the communities we are in make us sicker? Part of the antidote to toxic communities is finding spaces that support bumping up against our fear of being misunderstood, our fear of not being able to handle a difference of opinion, our fear of re...
2022-04-2258 minThe Unburdened LeaderEp 50: Embracing the Hot Mess: A Special Anniversary Episode with Alison Cook, PhDYou carry life's burdens with you every day. Some days, they might feel heavy enough to break you.But they also have the power to inspire you.Your burdens are those difficult life experiences you’ve had. Our past pains can be the source of many of our recurring struggles. And they can also motivate us to do good in the world.Coming to terms with our burdens–how they inspire us and how they continue to cause us pain–is a key step for al...
2022-04-0858 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 49: Standing In Your Power: A Leadership Roundtable with Joon Park + Cha BarefieldWe can get so caught up in how we are seen that we miss opportunities to course correct and expand our views on the world around us. And admitting you made a mistake or that you changed your mind can feel like jumping into shark infested waters. The process of expanding our views and self-correction involves connecting meaningfully with other’s experiences and needs so we can see the world outside of our own experience.Sometimes we take in important new data that activates prot...
2022-03-251h 25The Unburdened LeaderEP 48: Showing Up & Speaking Up in the Face of Racial Injustice with Y-Vonne Hutchinson, JD, CEO + Founder of Ready SetWhen you choose to step into conversations about racism you risk giving up your comfort and the illusion of control on how you are seen.In essence, when you choose to speak up against injustice you are inviting discomfort.And inviting discomfort is an affront to all the ways you protect yourself from harm. Yet when you befriend your discomfort instead of letting it shut you down, you can navigate the vulnerability of potentially being misunderstood. The polarities that co...
2022-03-111h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 47: Leading Through Embracing Your Multiplicities with Rev. Sarah HeathIf you do not know who you are, the world will tell you who you are. And If you lead from a place of who you think you should be instead of who you truly are, it will take a toll on you and those around you. There is immense effort put into editing instead of owning your multiplicities, leaving you exhausted and confused. You also give up your power and give up what is most sacred in you when you do not make room for embracing the...
2022-02-251h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 47: Leading Through Embracing Your Multiplicities with Rev. Sarah Heath, Podcaster, Designer, CoachIf you do not know who you are, the world will tell you who you are. And If you lead from a place of who you think you should be instead of who you truly are, it will take a toll on you and those around you. There is immense effort put into editing instead of owning your multiplicities, leaving you exhausted and confused. You also give up your power and give up what is most sacred in you when you do not make roo...
2022-02-251h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 46: Leading from Enoughness with Martinus EvansWe all carry the burden of feeling not enough.All of us.Once we lose connection to our worthiness and sense of enough, the striving for approval and belonging kicks in, and we long to find the reassurance that we are enough as we are, often in all the wrong places.The experience of feeling different or othered is seared in our memories and held in our bodies and a protective cluster of beliefs and behaviors take root to protect us from experiencing this...
2022-02-111h 07The Unburdened LeaderEP 45: The Intersection of Evangelicalism, Business, and Consumerism with Tim Gloege, Ph.DRight now, so many of us are connected through the shared emotional reactions to tragic events we have witnessed and continue to experience.Like all traumas, vicarious and collective trauma cause a breach in connection or a betrayal of trust in Self and/or others.And with disconnection comes the risk of a break in a healthy community.We continue to witness fanatical devotion to a product, a person, or a place that is often fueled by charismatic leaders selling healing and community through...
2022-01-281h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 44: Collective Trauma: Reliving The January 6th Insurrection with Julie Tagen - Chief of Staff to Rep. Jamie RaskinCollective traumas and the weight of collective grief is real and rampant.There have been so many moments in just the last two years that we have all watched together that activate vicarious trauma and collective grief.The horrific milestones of COVID and COVID-related deaths, hate speech, successful attacks on our democracy, relationship ending debates about masks and vaccines, attacks on protestors, and waking up to being complacent and complicit to systemic racism.And in January, the world watched an armed insurrection in Washington DC and the...
2022-01-061h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 44: Collective Trauma: Remembering The January 6th Insurrection with Julie Tagen - Chief of Staff to Rep. Jamie RaskinCollective traumas and the weight of collective grief is real and rampant.There have been so many moments in just the last two years that we have all watched together that activate vicarious trauma and collective grief.The horrific milestones of COVID and COVID-related deaths, hate speech, successful attacks on our democracy, relationship ending debates about masks and vaccines, attacks on protestors, and waking up to being complacent and complicit to systemic racism.And in January, the world watched an armed insurrection in Washington...
2022-01-061h 07The Unburdened LeaderEP 43: 2021 Review and ReflectionsRushing into the future can mean missing important data.Data, in this case, doesn’t mean points on a graph but really looking in the face of your experiences of the year. The good, the bad, the really hard, and the really exciting ones.This process helps us see patterns over the course of the year so we can see our growth and evaluate what we want to leave behind and what we want to bring with us into the new year.Rushing through th...
2021-12-3138 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 42: Leading By Owning Your Activism with Karen WalrondIf you are a leader who embodies activism, you are moved by personal convictions that see beyond yourself and the bottom line. You boldly desire to make intentional change that will impact another person, your family, where you work, our planet.When activism is seen as a negative word, it supports the status quo. Making activism negative plays upon your fears being misunderstood or being seen as too much, too disruptive.And it is easy to respond to these fears by quickly defaulting into silence or complacency.
2021-12-171h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 41: Leading Yourself First with Moorea SealWhat motivates your dreams is just as important as the dream itself.Maybe even more important.These dreams for your future inform your daily decisions and where you focus your time, energy, and resources, and they impact how you lead yourself and others.They fuel the drive that motivates you to get up each day as you do the important–and sometimes tedious–practices that build the future you want for yourself and the world.They support moving from a vi...
2021-12-031h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 40: Leading Authentically After Hard Falls with Ref Rodriguez, EdDWhat drives you can make you or break you.We often look to our values, commitments, and operations as a map to how we do life and work.But there are things that get in the way of honoring our commitments to ourselves and those we serve - no matter what we have professed as our values and mission.The messages that tell us we are not enough. We have to do more or get more. We have to over-deliver and never disappoint.
2021-11-191h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 40: Leading Authentically After Hard Falls with Ref RodriguezWhat drives you can make you or break you.We often look to our values, commitments, and operations as a map to how we do life and work.But there are things that get in the way of honoring our commitments to ourselves and those we serve - no matter what we have professed as our values and mission.The messages that tell us we are not enough. We have to do more or get more. We have to over-deliver and never disappoint....
2021-11-191h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 39: Leading with Generosity and Love with Terces EngelhartLeading with questions instead of leading with answers is a powerful practice.Sure, in times of crisis, steady, knowing leadership is calming and often necessary.But the pressure to have all the answers all the time limits creativity and possibility.Having the capacity to ask questions instead of offering all the answers is what brings out the best in you and those around you.When you move from a position of knowing to one of curiosity you build trust...
2021-11-051h 01The Unburdened LeaderEP 38: The Unburdened Leader Roundtable Sessions: ADHD And Leadership with Tara Newman and Lindsay PadillaIf you want to lead yourself well, you have to know yourself well.The tricky thing is, it can be surprisingly hard to really know yourself.We live in a world where we are told by others–on repeat–who we should be and who we are.We have gotten so good at being who we think we are supposed to be that we end up believing there is something intrinsically wrong with who we uniquely are.Especially when it comes to behaviors, pers...
2021-10-221h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 37: Leading a Life of Radical Honesty with Tara NewmanWhen you are not honest with yourself, you end up living a disconnected life.You may feel connected to your life when you get the dopamine hits of likes and follows or public affirmations from colleagues. Though, let’s be honest, these external validations are never satisfying for long.If you live a life where your worthiness and safety are woven into the opinions of others, it makes sense why so many cling to a life that is unsustainable and out of alignment.And it...
2021-10-081h 10The Unburdened LeaderEP 36: Leading with Dignity: Hard On Ideas, Easy On People with Rosalind WisemanWe are seeing conflict move so quickly to chaos these days.Anger, entitlement and self-preservation can kick into overdrive when you feel devalued. We forget about relationships and fight to be right, no matter the cost.Civility is pushed aside more and more as we navigate our differences.The wounds of relational trauma, betrayal, neglect, poverty, racism are playing out in so many spaces of public gatherings and personal relationships.But now is not the time to throw our...
2021-09-241h 07The Unburdened LeaderEP 35: Navigating Career Pivots and Identity Crisis with Lindsay Padilla, PhDWe all grew up being told who was the creative one, who was the smart one, and who was the sporty one. There was no space for anyone to hold a multiplicity of skills and interests. Of course, none of us hold just one identity, skill or interest. So an identity crisis–or multiple identity crises–are inevitable. But an identity crisis can be a powerful turning point in your life and work. On one hand, you can keep doing what you’ve been doing...
2021-09-101h 05The Unburdened LeaderEP 35: Navigating Career Pivots and Identity Crisis with Dr. Lindsay PadillaWe all grew up being told who was the creative one, who was the smart one, and who was the sporty one. There was no space for anyone to hold a multiplicity of skills and interests.
Of course, none of us hold just one identity, skill or interest.
So an identity crisis–or multiple identity crises–are inevitable.
But an identity crisis can be a powerful turning point in your life and work.
On one hand, you can keep doing what you’ve been doing...
2021-09-101h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 34: The Unburdened Leader Roundtable Sessions: Kim Paulus, LMFT and Natalie Gutierrez, LMFTLeadership and discomfort are inextricably connected. So much personal and professional development teaches us to figure out the problem and quickly move on. But true resilience and growth require more than just the decision to “let it go.” Leading well requires tolerating the discomfort of being seen, not just at your filtered best, but really being seen in your strengths and also when you make a bad decision and navigate the fall-out, respond defensively to criticism, and struggle with your confidence. Bypassing or shutting...
2021-08-271h 13The Unburdened LeaderEP 33: Befriending Your Anger with Graphic Artist Sacha MardouEveryone gets angry. And most people have learned to hide their anger–often at great costs. There is a LOT of baggage we carry around the emotion of anger. These burdens come from our faith traditions, culture, family of origin, work, school and inform your relationship with anger today. We are constantly navigating the many rules of what is ok and what is not ok when it comes to expressing, let alone feeling, anger. In the process, anger can slowly...
2021-08-1358 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 32: Committing to Sustainable Change and Giving a Sh*t About the Planet with Ashlee PiperWe love to be right. So much so, that we often trade being right for being in relationship. Without relationships, we cannot experience meaningful change because the change we desire is rooted in relationships, not the certainty of being right. But dang, the expediency and certainty of being right sure are seductive. Pursuing being right cultivates the tunnel vision of perfectionism which runs rampant over our curiosity and creativity–the very ingredients needed for us to have a sustained impact. When we focus more o...
2021-07-301h 18The Unburdened LeaderEP 31: Building Resiliency and a Culture of Togetherness with Rev. Roberto Che Espinoza, PhDHow you lead yourself impacts how you lead others. And how you lead yourself and others has a ripple effect in all the spaces you live and work. It really is that simple. And that important. Unaddressed pain from difficult life experiences and traumas rob us of our capacity for connection. Unaddressed burdens of trauma impact how you make decisions on everything from parenting to public policy. Both individual and collective traumas perpetuate disconnection in all the s...
2021-07-161h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 31: Building Resiliency and a Culture of Togetherness with Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
How you lead yourself impacts how you lead others.
And how you lead yourself and others has a ripple effect in all the spaces you live and work.
It really is that simple. And that important.
Unaddressed pain from difficult life experiences and traumas rob us of our capacity for connection.
Unaddressed burdens of trauma impact how you make decisions on everything from parenting to public policy.
Both individual and collective traumas perpetuate disconnection in all the spaces...
2021-07-161h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 31: Building Resiliency and a Culture of Togetherness with Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza
How you lead yourself impacts how you lead others.
And how you lead yourself and others has a ripple effect in all the spaces you live and work.
It really is that simple. And that important.
Unaddressed pain from difficult life experiences and traumas rob us of our capacity for connection.
Unaddressed burdens of trauma impact how you make decisions on everything from parenting to public policy.
Both individual and collective traumas perpetuate disconnection in all the spaces we li...
2021-07-161h 03The Unburdened LeaderEP 30: Committing to Being an Engaged Leader and Engaged Citizen with Iowa State Rep. Jennifer Konfrst
The commitment to being an engaged citizen is a commitment to being an engaged leader.
When you make the choice to invest your energy into staying informed about social and political issues, you are investing in your leadership.
I’m hearing more and more from leaders who are prioritizing leading with justice, equity, and community care in mind. So if the kind of leader you truly want to be means being an engaged citizen, one who is informed about the social and political issues facing the people they lead, you’r...
2021-07-021h 13The Unburdened LeaderEP 29: Frank Anderson, MD - Challenging the Fear of Rejection and Leading with Vulnerability - Part 2
Everybody’s carrying a burden that’s weighing them down.
If you dare to care, it is inevitable you will end up carrying the burdens from grief, betrayal, and rejection.
And these burdens are often unseen.
These invisible struggles fuel loneliness, shame, and despair. Eventually, the unaddressed burdens we carry start to impact our ability to live and lead in ways that are important to us. They take their toll on the quality of our work, our relationships, and our well-being.
Yet, ins...
2021-06-181h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 28: Leading by Speaking Up When the Stakes are High with Author Tiffany Bluhm
Toxic cultures–at home, school, work, in faith communities–make it incredibly hard to do the right thing.
Choosing to risk your reputation or livelihood when you want to move from being a bystander to standing up for what is right is a bind too many face when they want to say ‘no more’ to abuses of power.
Yes, we need to move beyond being passive bystanders and be better allies. Yet I want to acknowledge that the stakes are high in moving from bystander into the spotlight.
...
2021-06-041h 13The Unburdened LeaderEP 27: Frank Anderson, MD - Challenging the Fear of Rejection and Leading with Vulnerability - Part 1
We watch leaders crash & burn all the time.
We watch with morbid fascination as leaders fall out of grace because their unaddressed pain led them on an unsustainable path of poor choices–even dangerous and deadly choices–to avoid feeling the vulnerability of rejection.
Those times when you experienced the pain of rejection leave their mark because rejection hurts. Like, physically hurts. Neuroscience teaches that this kind of emotional pain is processed similarly to physical pain.
The burdens of social rejection of any kind can become a...
2021-05-211h 07The Unburdened LeaderEP 26: Leading an Integrated Life Over a Divided Life with Stasia Savusuk, Creator of The REVEL-YOU-TION
It is time to stop living a divided life.
When your life is divided between home and work, personal and professional, you're vulnerable to all sorts of relationship troubles and everyday friction.
When you separate yourself from your values and see your business and life divided instead of integrated and unified by your purpose and values, you will break from the pressure of it all.
You feel out of alignment with what matters most–your health, your values, your most important relationships–and feel at the mer...
2021-05-071h 12The Unburdened LeaderEP 25: The Boundary Barriers of Leadership with Psychologist and Author, Alison Cook, PhD
Boundary barriers become leadership barriers.
What gets in the way of setting and maintaining boundaries gets in the way of leading well.
Our polarized culture, along with so many demands on our time and energy, make it so important to get clear on what gets in the way of setting and maintaining boundaries…and what they are protecting.
Do you know what your boundaries are protecting?
You have to know why you are laboring through the work of setting and maintaining boundar...
2021-04-231h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 23: Leading and Respecting Your Whole Self with Metalsmith and Founder of Artists & Profit Makers, Megan AumanToo often, we exile the parts of us that hold complex emotions and difficult parts of our story at the expense of our wholeness. And not respecting our own wholeness in favor of living a compartmentalized life is perpetuated in the spaces we live and lead.
So, we hide away the things that we’ve been taught to believe are not acceptable—and what we hide is often rooted from the soul of what makes us unique and feel most alive.
Making space to lead complexity means signing up to navigate emotio...
2021-03-191h 12The Unburdened LeaderEP 22: Clear and Decisive Leadership with Founder of Frank and Eileen, Audrey McLoghlin
Never underestimate the power of your decisions.
Especially the little decisions you make each day.
How you go about making decisions offers so much data about you and what you believe about yourself and the world around you.
Many of us second-guess our decisions because we're unsure of ourselves in the first place. Maybe you underestimate your ability to do hard things or give added weight to the judgement others might pass when they learn about your decision.
Most often, I suspe...
2021-03-051h 13The Unburdened LeaderEP 21: Leading With Body Resilience with Co-Author of More Than A Body, Lindsay Kite, PhD Caring about those you lead means caring about the harm you may unknowingly be doing. Many of us who fit western standards of beauty and live in conventionally abled bodies don't understand how our choices can cause pain. We've internalized ableism and fat-phobia to the point where we can't even grasp how our words & deeds cause harm. In particular, in the last year, and perhaps for a while longer, many of you have come to terms with the way you operate in the world and cause pain or harm in...
2021-02-191h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 21: Leading With Body Resilience with Co-Author of More Than A Body, Lindsay Kite
Caring about those you lead means caring about the harm you may unknowingly be doing.
Many of us who fit western standards of beauty and live in conventionally abled bodies don't understand how our choices can cause pain. We've internalized ableism and fat-phobia to the point where we can't even grasp how our words & deeds cause harm.
In particular, in the last year, and perhaps for a while longer, many of you have come to terms with the way you operate in the world and cause pain or harm in...
2021-02-191h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 20: Leading From Your Truth with the Founder of Binge Eating Disorder Association, Chevese Turner
There is nothing safe about catalyzing the much needed changes we need in our world today.
Speaking your truth feels loaded right now. I’m not talking about speaking your truth as a way to say whatever you feel whenever and wherever.
I’m talking about the deep knowing inside of you that is you without the armor, the spin. The you that doesn’t absorb the projections onto you from the world.
The pull to dim what you know to be true as a protective response is real.
Sitting on the...
2021-02-051h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 20: Leading From Your Truth with the Founder of Binge Eating Disorder Association, Chevese Turner
There is nothing safe about catalyzing the much needed changes we need in our world today.
Speaking your truth feels loaded right now. I’m not talking about speaking your truth as a way to say whatever you feel whenever and wherever.
I’m talking about the deep knowing inside of you that is you without the armor, the spin. The you that doesn’t absorb the projections onto you from the world.
The pull to dim what you know to be true as a protective...
2021-02-051h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 19: Defining Your Own Version Success with Natalie Borton, Founder of Natalie Borton DesignsThe quickest way to crash and burn your business and life is to place your worthiness and safety with the opinions of others.
This may sound like a captain-obvious statement but the pull to care what others think is something fierce. And it is sneaky.
The competitive drive is no stranger to many of you. In fact, it is often the norm.
Honoring your boundaries around healthy competition is hard in a world that constantly tells us we’re not enough. It does not help that our own s...
2021-01-221h 15The Unburdened LeaderEP 18: Bold and Honest Beauty Activism with Content Creator, Storyteller, Self-Love Advocate Nikia Phoenix
We might want change now—but change is almost always met with resistance.
And resistance to change is, at its core, protective.
Yet, this well-intentioned approach can end up hurting instead of helping especially when the desire to protect is at the expense of the well-being of others.
When we look at the industries that focus around our image, it gets even messier.
I am late to the fashion, make-up, skincare party—and I have loved playing around with style and products that m...
2021-01-081h 07The Unburdened LeaderEP 17: Community Over Competition with Co-Founder of The Rising Tide Society Natalie Franke
Community over competition is indeed a well-worn hashtag. The cynical can dismiss it. Those beat up by year after year of injustice understandably call BS.
But in practice, leading with the lens of community over competition is subversive and culture-shifting.
Community over competition requires deep life-long work to unburden the load we carry of scarcity and comparison.
In a highly connected, dopamine infused world, where billions of dollars are spent to cultivate Not Enoughness, we buy, vote, and believe, leading with community over competition is an a...
2020-12-251h 13The Unburdened LeaderEP 16: Leading with Comedy as a Catalyst for Change and Healing with Digital Strategist and Business Comedian, Rachael Kay AlbersOur workplaces need more laughter.
Our homes need more laughter.
The world needs more laughter.
And I don’t know about you, but I too need more laughter.
There have been times of late when the smallest thing sets my family into a laugh-fest - usually triggered by something we were watching on TV or something one of us said that just tickled the proverbial funny bone.
This communal laughter always feels like a welcomed exhale when I didn't even kn...
2020-12-111h 10The Unburdened LeaderEP 15: Leading with Integrity Through Controversy featuring CEO & Founder of Dressember Foundation Blythe Hill
Avoiding controversy for the sake of comfort is not an option for you as you lead, do life, and rumble with all the big and little decisions before you.
Sure, you do not want to contribute to the noise.
You are not looking for a fight (or, like me, you try not to get scrappy just to offload some stress), or to be right just for the sake of being right.
No. You value the big picture. You value the mission. You value the greater impa...
2020-11-271h 05The Unburdened LeaderEP 14: Consenting to Grief as a Leadership Practice with Dean Nelson, PhDGrief is inevitable as it's simply the other side of love. The more you love, the more grief you feel. It’s inevitable when you’re all in on life and the relationships within it. This is the cost of a life full of love and meaning. Daring to care means that grief and loss is inevitable. If we let it, grief can be a powerful teacher. But first? It deconstructs. It disrupts the best laid plans. And, it brings us to our knees both emotionally and physica...
2020-11-131h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 13: Owning Your Choices To Gain Freedom and Healing with Former Congresswoman Katie Hill
One of the toughest and most important choices for a leader is to look within and do the deep work to heal the echoes of trauma. By looking and healing our past, they lighten the load of their burdens so they can lead themselves—and others—better.
On the contrary, right now, we are watching in real time the dangers of leaders who are not in touch with their humanity and lead with pain, bullying, and fear. We are breathing in so much toxicity right now and it is taking a toll on all of...
2020-10-301h 08The Unburdened LeaderEP 12: Choosing Scrappy Hope Over Cynicism with Ramon Galindo
The belief that hope will kill you is a common reason that many people reject the practice of hope in the first place. Most would rather keep the bar low and expect the worst.
Protecting yourself with this level of cynicism leads to living a negative, small and joyless life.
And we are not here for that.
Embracing hope might look dangerous and reckless on the surface, yet, in truth, it is a deeply aligned practice grounded in values, courage, and consistency. This kind of hope supports showing up when there...
2020-10-161h 06The Unburdened LeaderEP 11: Befriending Your Anxiety with Chef Joel Gamoran
Instead of making an enemy of your anxiety, you can make a friend out of your anxiety.
This approach to the challenges of living with anxiety—in both your life and business as a leader—helps to turn the fear that comes with anxiety into your superpower.
But if you’re to make friends with your anxiety, you need to understand the story behind its fear and concerns. Anxiety has a mission to protect and it often does so in ways that are crushing, robbing you of your presence and the pla...
2020-10-0258 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 11: Befriending Your Anxiety with Joel GamoranInstead of making it an enemy of your anxiety, you can make a friend out of your anxiety.
This approach to the challenges of living with anxiety—in both your life and business as a leader—helps to turn the fear that comes with anxiety into your superpower.
But if you’re to make friends with your anxiety, you need to understand the story behind its fear and concerns. Anxiety has a mission to protect and it often does so in ways that are crushing, robbing you of your presence and the place where you show u...
2020-10-0257 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 10: Leading With Boundaries vs Over-Functioning with Krystel Stacey
Over-functioning is the default setting for so many leaders.
They want to fix and rescue everything—and sometimes that looks like working harder than others. But is that truly leading?
Fueled by anxiety, a high sense of responsibility, and a lack of clear boundaries, over-functioning can hijack the best of us. What’s tricky in overcoming over-functioning is that part of your superpower is seeing the solution and knowing what needs to be done to fix it.
And while over-functioning might be a part of your day...
2020-09-181h 01The Unburdened LeaderEP 09: Standing Up Against the Culture of Bullying with Gemma Went
One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is facing bullies.
…the bullies from our past.
...the bullies in our present.
...and the bullies between our ears.
We live in a culture that normalizes—and even elevates—bullies in the name of entertainment. Our culture encourages us to enjoy the suffering of others instead of empathizing with the personal pain of the bullied. Our culture increasingly urges us to see bullying as a sign of strength.
When in truth, t...
2020-09-0453 minThe Unburdened LeaderEP 08: Dismantling and Rebuilding with Ally Fallon
Most leaders go through a period where they take stock of the trappings of the life they believe they are “supposed” to live. They examine the assumptions they’ve made, the choices they’ve fallen into, and the circumstances that have shaped their stories.
And they realize—however painfully—that it all needs to be torn down. I’ve been there, too. Brick by brick, they dismantle the details of their lives so that they can carefully and intentionally rebuild.
It takes real courage to lead yourself through a season of dismantli...
2020-08-211h 09The Unburdened LeaderEP 07: Healing Trauma and the Burden of Addiction with Andrea Owen
We push ourselves until we crash.
We people please until we lose ourselves.
We hide our truth until we’re crushed from loneliness and disconnection.
Instead of dealing with the stress of our present, the anxiety of our future, or the trauma of our past, we numb out.
We drink the wine or take the pills or binge on the ice cream—and, oftentimes, we cross the threshold from numbing out to addiction.
Not surprisingly, alcohol is one of the...
2020-08-071h 00The Unburdened LeaderEP 06: Leading & Loving Towards Beautifully Made With Intention with Arielle EstoriaLeaders are especially good at hiding from love and the vulnerability it brings in ways that look deceptively bold. This can be a dangerous contagion, I’ve found, encouraging others to also hide behind the protectors of Hubris. Individualism. Perfectionism. Hustle.
I’ve seen how spending so much time hiding behind who you think you should be makes you forget who you are, what you value, and what you believe.
And, honestly, it can crush your spirit.
That’s why being able to receive love is foundational to being abl...
2020-07-241h 01The Unburdened LeaderEP 05: Exploring the Echoes of Past Struggles Through Creativity and Curiosity with Morgan Harper Nichols
The past often acts itself out in the present and this can be super frustrating for established leaders—especially when it feels like you’ve already done the work to move past those struggles.
I know it has for me and so many of you, too.
We’ve read the books, gone to therapy, hired a coach, and went to the workshops.
We’ve committed to the deep work so that we can lead, thrive, and create well.
Sometimes, those struggles and challenges...
2020-07-101h 24The Unburdened LeaderEP 04: Leading with Grace and the Power of Emotions with J.S. Park
Leadership is hard and it is not for the weary.
Leading myself and others in the face of injustice while also staying aligned to my integrity and values has required an immense amount of courage, clarity, confidence—and a lot of deep breaths.
In times of conflict, my ability to stay aligned with my integrity and core values has often been a reflection of the inner work I have done to tolerate criticism, backlash, conflict, being misunderstood, and losing support/business/followers.
Words like ‘integrity’ and ‘value...
2020-06-261h 19The Unburdened LeaderEP 03: How Pain Can Inspire Growth & A Lifelong Mission with Jess Weiner
Somewhere early in my life, I got the message that acknowledging my pain was not okay. Being vulnerable opened me up for attack. It was dangerous. Messages like “never let them see your sweat” often got mixed up with “no pain, no gain.” So there’s a mixture of: don’t show your pain getting the best of you yet show yourself conquering it all.
And it’s not working.
Just look at the stats of those suffering from clinical depression, clinical anxiety, substance use and abuse, suicide attempts and completion, mar...
2020-06-121h 15The Unburdened LeaderEP 02: How Self-Leadership Saves You From The Relentless Drive To Succeed with Dr. Richard SchwartzMy body was telling me to take a step back and reevaluate. Five years ago I had pneumonia and I couldn’t really do anything other than prop myself up on the couch and breathe... ...breathe and think about how I ended up in this mess I’d run myself into the ground. My schedule was full-to-overflowing. My life was packed and stretched to the edges. I had no margin for error, no space to breathe, no time to connect to who and what mattered to me.
2020-05-291h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 02: How Self-Leadership Saves You From The Relentless Drive To Succeed with Richard SchwartzMy body was telling me to take a step back and reevaluate.
Five years ago I had pneumonia and I couldn’t really do anything other than prop myself up on the couch and breathe...
...breathe and think about how I ended up in this mess
I’d run myself into the ground. My schedule was full-to-overflowing. My life was packed and stretched to the edges. I had no margin for error, no space to breathe, no time to connect to who and what mattered to me.
...
2020-05-291h 04The Unburdened LeaderEP 01: Take Time For The Deep Work So Trauma Doesn’t Take You Out with Jonathan MerrittLeaders often struggle to make time for healing until their body sends out an SOS. They postpone and avoid the need for deeper healing and then get slammed by illness, exhaustion, or burnout. And at the heart it? There is usually the burden of unaddressed trauma. Insomnia, chronic pain, hair and skin issues, digestive distress, mood swings, and illness after illness–if you’re experiencing these symptoms without relief, you might be one of these leaders. The cost of avoiding or bypassing the deep work and healing ends up...
2020-05-2955 minThe Unburdened LeaderIntroducing The Unburdened LeaderMeet leaders who recognized their own pain, worked through it, and stepped up into greater leadership. Each week, we dive into how leaders like you deal with struggle and growth so that you can lead without burnout or loneliness. If you're eager to make an impact in your community or business, Rebecca Ching, LMFT, will give you practical strategies for redefining challenges and vulnerability while becoming a better leader. Find the courage, confidence, clarity, and compassion to step up for yourself and your others--even when things feel really, really hard.
2020-04-1003 min