Shows
The Worst Movie Ever Made#217 - The Crow: Wicked PrayerThis week, we close out our sequel season with The Crow: Wicked Prayer, starring John Connor cosplaying as Harry Potter cosplaying as Robert Smith if he were a Native American … or something. Rob watched every single crow sequel and reboot in preparation for this episode, and for the sole purpose of defending one of the best revenge thrillers of all time. We once covered the OG Crow movie during good movie week, and maybe Chris will finally come around and realize how it’s a cinematic masterpiece, unlike Wicked Prayer which is just a fart...
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The Worst Movie Ever Made#98 - Troll 2Open your mouths, our little friends! We're ready to sedate you with our viscous green goop as we dive into the tawdry tale of Troll 2. So grab a double-decker bologna sandwich, get your poppin' corn ready, and let's take a trip to the town of Nilbog: population, you!
Peeping tomming! Pursuing and pancaking a bewildered woman in the wilderness! The meet and greet B&E! Feral and preposterous soft-core corn porn! Goblin genocide! They’re eating my mom! They're going to eat me next! OohhhMyGodddddddd! Peeing on the potatoes! Goblin mother teat squeezing! Opening casting for ugly southerners! Man tree pri...
2023-05-101h 18The Worst Movie Ever Made#97 - The RoomIt's taken us 97 weeks, but we've finally given into peer pressure and watched The Room. A film that needs no introductions, so just give us a few minutes, bitch!
Denny attempting to dick down our duo! Minutes long love making! Johnny’s ill judged jesting! Freaking your friend’s fiancé! Bullying your buddy on a balcony! Breast cancer boomerang! Alcohol is for offenders, weed is for weirdos, and friends are manipulative! Mid merriment impromptu infidelity! I lost Johnny but I still have you right? Very wanting to be naked! Canadian bacon pinea...
2023-05-031h 10The Worst Movie Ever Made#96 - LeprechaunFiddle dee-dee! Episode 96 it be! We've got our four-leaf clovers, and there's so much we've seen! We're talking of course about Leprechaun! One of the films of all time.
Let's get into it, shall we?!
Kidnapping Celtic creatures! Pogo parricide! Unexpected shoe-shine expectorating! Ozzie! Bailing on the boy setting bear traps in the barn! Dyson and Dum-Dums! Paying for paint thinner! Jameson, nice! Ear biting boot maneuvers! Truck won’t start...twice! Very odd cut up dead cow arguments! Decoy shoe piles! Rob watched Thor! Drippy Uncle Sal! Chris’ scorecard kerfuffle! Pogo Gut Grinding, and much...
2023-04-261h 15The Worst Movie Ever Made#95 - Tank GirlToday, we talk about tank girl; a movie that takes 72 minutes to show us... a tank girl. This film is rife with edgy eighth-grade toilet humor, and that's where this movie belongs. And thanks to more faulty Pipe Logic™, we know exactly where this film will end up in history when we slam the handle, and wash away the sin that is Tank Girl.
Girl and boy bursting in on boyfriend’s botanical birthday suit! Blowing away bovine Battlefield Earth ground beef style! Prostituting children! Asian amputee experts! Neglecting your niece for a musical number! Bestiality! Cheeks and...
2023-04-191h 13The Worst Movie Ever Made#94 - Mac and MeWe have no words for Mac and Me. Just watch it, listen to this episode, and then agree with us.
Exposing earth to extracted extraterrestrials! Letting the lifeforms leave the lab! Table-sawing teen! EBAY ET eviscerating the entire house! Inhumane humanoid hoovering! McMerriment! Causing collisions careening your chair into traffic! Dr. declares death of “me” immediately! Obvious product placement moments! Whistling electricity fingers! Crawling inside the teddy flesh! Robert Patrick running! Casually enjoying Carnation (TM)! Chris thinks it would be funny if Mac choked to death on a Skittle, and much, much more on this week's episode of T...
2023-04-121h 22The Worst Movie Ever Made#93 - SharknadoToday marks the beginning of season 10. Our B-Movie Season! It also marks one year since Bob joined us in this masochistic endeavor that we call a podcast. And we're here with a question for all of you: what do you get when you cross Twister with Jaws? We don't know, because Sharknado wasn't that film, and we hated every single second of it.
Here's why:
Buttloads of blatant butt focus! Molestation! Shameful shark slander! Old people can’t hear! Supreme stupidity! Mako menstruation! Tornado helicopter shark bombs! Blegh! Tarrable Reid! John Heard, oh no! Obvious us...
2023-04-051h 18The Worst Movie Ever Made#92 - TremorsWe wrap up season 9 with Tremors, which is a good movie! Season 9 was all about huge expectations, and how big names and budgets could still leave a cinematic skid mark in their wake for all of us to witness. And as we transition to season 10, which will be our "B-Movie" season, we thought that Tremors would be an excellent bookend! So enjoy our banter, because this is as good as it's gonna get before season 10 starts!
Superb foreshadowing! Perfect pacing! Sick soundtrack! Correct character creation and cultivation! Science ladies! Creative camera angles! Imaginative movie monsters! Unsheathed wiener...
2023-03-291h 05
The Worst Movie Ever Made#91 - Alien Vs PredatorWe wrap up season 9 with Alien Vs. Predator; a patronizing piece of garbage that has nothing to offer, and somehow looks worse than the movies it's supposed to be sequeling. And this concludes our season of great expectations. Does this steaming turd basket beat out Gigli to take the title for season 8? Well, you'll just have to tune in to decide for yourself... but actually we decided, because that's what we do on this show if you're a new listener. You're right to have your own opinion, but our science does most of the legwork to determine what is in...
2023-03-221h 20The Worst Movie Ever Made#90 - GigliGiggity, giggity, Gigli! We've been doing this for a long time now, and we gotta say... we might be able to call it quits after this one. We finally found the worst movie ever made... or did we? We'll let you be the judges of that, dear listeners. There's not much that we can say in this write-up that hasn't already been said on the recording, so let's just get to listing off all the prime nugs like we normally do!
Simulating psych wards! Second rate super erratic suspect rain man! Kidnapping the handicapped! Telling a teen y...
2023-03-151h 19The Worst Movie Ever Made#89 - F9 (Family Edition)Rob, who hates Marvel, finally got Chris and Bob on board to watch F9, which is basically the same thing as a Marvel movie... or so he's told. At any rate, the deed has been done, and we'll probably never do another Fast and Furious movie again. EVERRRRRRRR!
Here's our episode summary:
Cable car conundrums! Killing your dad! Pretty party participants on the payroll! OnoBOBopoeia! Major magnetic malfeasance messing with mom and pop shops! Seriously subdued sister sadness! Space Pontiac hits Ludacris speed! Fourth wall fuckery! Twinkie, Ding-Dong, and Snowball! Fisting Yoda! Extensive on-the-fly landmine...
2023-03-081h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#88 - Valerian and the City of a Thousand PlanetsBob went missing, but don't worry he's back by the third act for the Worst Production and Fact or no Fact segments! Bob, if you're listening to this, we didn't mean any of those horrible, horrible things we said about you in the beginning. It's best you just fast forward. We were confused, tired, worried, and felt a tremendous amount of sorrow because we thought you had to watch Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets without then being able to talk shit about it. But worry not, beloved listeners, we really came through with this one!
2023-03-011h 24The Worst Movie Ever Made#87 - HookHook! Hook! Where's the Hook?! Hook! Hook! Where's the Hook?! There is no hook for Hook. This movie took two hours out of our lives, and we'll never get it back, and we fell for the allure of Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman hook, line, and sinker with this stinker!
Penis fly traps! The blubberchuck conundrum! Jerk office jokes while jack offense chokes! Forgetting family first names! Mattressing Maggie without worrying for the window washer! Thinking Thud Butt’s thickness is theater! Tinkerbell’s toddler taking trickery! Running Rufio through! Skateboard sailboat things! Magical clam jams! Toothless cripp...
2023-02-221h 18The Worst Movie Ever Made#86 - Battlefield Earth (Again)86 weeks ago, Chris and Rob started a show called "The Bomb Filter," and liked huffing their own farts while being pretentious about movies. But Bob joined the rankings, and we have since become a well oiled machine that is now known as "The Worst Movie Ever Made." That's the condensed version of why we're revisiting Battlefield Earth. The other reason is that Bob joined us after we had already watched it, and we wanted him to suffer like we did back on episode 12. Misery loves company, so... sorry Bob!
Misplaced McDonald’s Marketing! Pulverizing your opponent then pu...
2023-02-151h 29The Worst Movie Ever Made#85 - The PhantomListen, we're going to watch Battlefield Earth next week much to the Chagrin of Bob who hasn't had the pleasure. If you want to hear what we have to say about 1996's The Phantom, just listen to this episode, because we are so fucking over it already.
Attempted abuse of a boy! Bringing the big rig across the bridge! Communicating coerced coitus! Wanton wasting of windows in the Winchester showroom! Personal pleasure pirates! Wagging the wiggler of walking dead Kit Walker! Mushrooms aren’t leaves! Face skull blister burn things! Cliffhanger dangle tropes! Toys “R” Us Tattoos! Cabbie...
2023-02-081h 21The Worst Movie Ever Made#84 - TroyIf you're tired of life, and you're looking for a film to watch that will help you run the clock out by three hours and sixteen minutes, then we strongly recommend the Director's Cut of Troy!
Banging the beauty who brings battle and brutality to your borders! Stealing the sexy Spartan! Apprehending for amusement! Deep throating Patroclus! Strangling your soulmate! Dragging the defeated through the dirt! Twilight torching of Troy through trickery! Dusting the flaps! Gratuitous extended scenes for a very simple conflict! Gilded sack dragging! Obvious implants! Brian Cox looks funny in a chariot! Sneaky queen p...
2023-02-011h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#83 - Terminator 2: Judgment DayWe made it to the end of Season 8, which only means one thing: time for a good... no, a great movie! We're talking of course about Terminator 2, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robert Patrick, Linda Hamilton, Bobby Budnick, and... others! We're always glad to talk about a great movie, because we took a pounding this season, and we need some relief.
Chris likes dongs! Literate sea pigs! Michael Biehn and the deleted scenes! Terminator turnaround! Arm and accent alleviation! Teaching terminator toned down techniques! Chris likes dongs! Flying time eggs! Plausible jibbery joo! Bean reaching claws! Tenth place fatalities...
2023-01-251h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#82 - Joshua TreeSeason finale! Omg fuck this movie. This show has been an experiment that has caused irreparable psychological damage to the three of us, and we will never fully bounce back. So we must keep forging forward, because our mental state is only going to get worse the further we dive down this rabbit hole of crappy cinema!
This week, we try on Joshua Tree... or Army of One (pick a fucking title) for size.
Catcalling coppers! Honing in on hooters! Pointlessly plunging a pickup! Motel man making mention of Merrick making love! Biker bar bad boy bullshit! Detective decks his...
2023-01-181h 34The Worst Movie Ever Made#81 - Son of the MaskJamie Kennedy stars in Son of the Mask, a film that is only redeemed by the 45 seconds of screen time that Steven Wright and Ben Stein had. When two of the most lethargic sounding men in the world are what carries a film, then maybe we need to talk about Jamie Kennedy- a man who once produced a documentary about how unfunny he was called Heckler... a film in which real comedians take on the subject of heckling while Jamie Kennedy basically apologizes for his career. According to Jamie Kennedy, this film fell short because there was a longer...
2023-01-111h 32The Worst Movie Ever Made#80 - The Tooth FairyChris, Bob, and Rob celebrate EIGHTY CONSECUTIVE WEEKS OF PODCASTING ABOUT SHITTY MOVIES with Dwayne "The Rock" Jonson's The Tooth Fairy. A very funny attempt at being funny because big guy in tutu fall down and dog farts HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!! Dwayne is the beefiest of chuds to slide out of the studio's poop-shooter, and we're glad that we're done flushing this cinematic skidmark away forever. Rob still wants to do a Fast and Furious movie, but this will have to do for now.
Audience asking athlete for adversaries incisors! Cheating a child of her chomper cheddar! Purposeless puberty p...
2023-01-041h 12The Worst Movie Ever Made#79 - Babylon ADThe gang finally bends over and gets their butt cherries popped by the one and only Vin Diesel. Babylon AD! A film where nothing happens, but only before nothing happens, and then leads into nothing happening. At least we have Vinnie boy's sultry baritone voice to remind us that when we're here in Babylon, we're family. Here we go!
Train station dog dangling! Fatally flogging the forced fighter! Passing the danger threshold! Cornball word salad! Human baby implants! Vin’s Conchess? Bobception! Fucking Kassovitz! Disappointing lack of pistols and pretzeled bread! Rabbit or rodent? You decide! Black lit...
2022-12-281h 12The Worst Movie Ever Made#78 - The Santa ClauseThis is our second holiday season doing a bad movie podcast, and this is also the second time we talk Tim Allen! Rob loves him (or does he?). Chris and Bob don't (or do they?). But what about The Santa Clause? Is the comment section from YouTube filled with a bunch of mentally ill derelicts who shouldn't be allowed to assimilate into a regular society? Let's get into it!
Secret Santa secretary sex scandals! Advanced masonry maneuvers! Adolescent elves! Unfunny full grown fawn flatulence! Vague reasons for removing visitation! Rob wants to smash Patricia Richardson! JTT wigging...
2022-12-211h 11The Worst Movie Ever Made#77 - The Island of Dr. MoreauThis week we took a swim out to the Island of Dr. Moreau-- a cavalcade of bestiality, ice bucket Napoleon helmets, and making H.G. Wells spin in his grave like a fucking pinwheel. Let's just get into it so we don't waste any more of your time like we've wasted ours.
Berating your boys at brunch! Manimal medical malpractice! Hyena’s hairy hardware! Eyes wide shut: furry edition! Primal rage brain! What if "god number one" was one of us?! Uncomfortable roar whispers! Plasma blasting the monkey mound! Goading goats with GOAT sauce! “Rat people? Hahahahaa”! Taser...
2022-12-141h 17The Worst Movie Ever Made#76 - Ice PiratesFuck this movie, and Fuck our guest Dr_Ezekiel for requesting that we watch this movie!
Just kidding! Dr_Ezekiel was an excellent, and entertaining guest, and we loved to hate on "Ice Pirates" with him. Zeke streams movie viewings every week on his twitch, which can be found right here: https://www.twitch.tv/dr_ezekiel
Smash that subscribe button. Or gently caress it-- the choice is yours! Bottom line is that this dude knows his stuff, and if he can get the three of us engaged in a film as nauseatingly stupid as "Ic...
2022-12-071h 33The Worst Movie Ever Made#75 - SoldierOur hosts take the front lines, and "soldier" on through the roughage that can only be caused by corn such as the movie "Soldier," a film where they say the word "soldier" many, many times to let you know that "Soldier" is the name of the movie that you are watching... sir.
Are you ready for some action?!
Sir, yes sir!
Choking and stitching the snake! Child murder! Cheesy uncharitable chain challenges! Sergeants surveying supple scenery! Extermination as exhibition! Kurt Russell prop cabbage kerfuffles! Practical piss procedures (and other pee pee trivia)! Kill, Eat, or Fuck?! Double dripping future spouts! Car...
2022-11-301h 26The Worst Movie Ever Made#74 - The ExorcistRob reaches out from beyond the grave to help get this broadcast lifted. Our hosts, Chris and Bob, carry the torch, and through several hard drive backup issues, spontaneous grocery deliveries, totally inappropriate shit talking about Rob in his unexpected absence, and other stuff, we bring you our GOOD MOVIE EPISODE... The Exorcist, which some of you may not know is actually a parody of the 1990 film "Repossessed," starring Linda Blair.
Normally we have a bunch exclamation points that allude to things that are said in the episode, but this is Rob Typing, and I didn't listen...
2022-11-231h 36The Worst Movie Ever Made#73 - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal SkullWe go a little long on our SEASON FINALE, and rightfully so! We had to take time out of our regularly scheduled daily suffering, and make things even worse for ourselves by reviewing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. There’s just so much to talk about… including, but not limited to:
Inter-dimensional sneeze snizz! Ivy league adlibs! Bargain bin Uma Thurman! Close encounters of the one third of an orgasm kind! Flob Noggin Blarfyblobbers! Careless corrosion of commemorative conquistadors! Saving sinking associates with a snake! Monkey man mud moving more meteorically than the motor vehicles via vine...
2022-11-161h 34The Worst Movie Ever Made#72 - The Adventures of Pluto NashThis week we shoot for the moon for space action gambling heists. We're talking of course about "The Adventures of Pluto Nash." So many wrongs in this movie that all are somehow six degrees separated from Nickelodeon's "Hey Arnold!" More on that later though.
Flat salty lakes! Hot feather duster ass! Bob’s girl! Eddie Murphy’s turdy wordies! Randy robots! Bruno’s battery baton! Carefree companion cloning! Straight scripts! Beefy catchalls! Assy side-gigs! Slut machines! Dusty dystopian Stallone tropes! Randy Quaid losing it, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-11-091h 28The Worst Movie Ever Made#71 - CatsThey're cats! They're cats! But their butt holes aren't intact! So many wondiferous things to talk about in this fantastic farce of feline feces, so let's just get this over with and go home.
Jamming in the Jellicles! Cat bowl cum puddles! Reverse engineering the rhyme! Ineffable inevitability! Digitally removing dirt buttons! Executing Isabella extremely unethically! Catnip compliance! Birthday suit Bustopher gargling back alley glizzies, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
www.theworstmovieevermade.com
Just fucking email us already!
2022-11-021h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#70 - Hocus Pocus IIThe gang gets sensually seductive with the black flame candle on their way to Walgreens, which is a real store, as they plow through through rounds of the witches brew known as Hocus Pocus II. Or as we like to call it: Dogshit. This is a sequel that nobody asked for, and yet it happened to us anyways. Let's do this!
Deep delves into the balrog! Lazy nodding! The virginity assumption! Big witch smelling Winnie from ankles to ear! High school house party's where they hold the hooch! Attempted asphyxiation upon apple bobbing buddies! Breaking the fourth W...
2022-10-261h 27The Worst Movie Ever Made#69 - HellraiserWe made it to episode 69 (nice!), so we HAD to talk about Hellraiser. Chris, Bob, and Rob blur the lines between pleasure and pain as they take down this pile of shit. Why do people love this movie? Sounds like empty praise from a bunch of pinheads, amiright?
Mummy Cummies! Reverberated daddies! Box trauma! The full spread! Spinning barbed wire boards! Putting the Parliament out on the Persian! Frank fetish flashbacks! Lumps! Nourishing nectar of the niece! Cobweb cardiovascular blood vessel revival systems! Rat infested renovation rooms! Frankie facials! Dimension evidence! Cinnabon Cenobites, and much, much more o...
2022-10-191h 31The Worst Movie Ever Made#68 - AnacondaRiddle me this... what's sweaty, smelly, and coiled up in a pungent lump at the bottom of the toilet? If you answered 1997's Anaconda, then you're 100% correct. Though it turns out Roger Ebert was a massive fan (not even joking, Google that shit). Ice Cube is somehow the best actor, and John Voight is nothing more than a shiny sausage with an axe to grind and a scowl that's as flaccid as a microwaved hotdog at 3am (TM).
Paraguayan person popping up in mid production! Lopez letting the ladies loose! Buckets full of monkey blood! Lame Horniness! P...
2022-10-121h 26The Worst Movie Ever Made#67 - Mortal KombatWe know October is spooky month, and we're going to get into all that good stuff next week. But in the meantime we wanted to boof you with the doozy known as Mortal Kombat! A childhood favorite of many, but a sweaty turd on the radiator for most.
Weepy Western Unions! Flawed victories! Side boob central! Caucasian Raiden! Cage/Kang carry-on confusion! Prying open those soul holes! White lightning wet willy whispers! Unwilling mousse tousles! Large electrical disturbances with a side of vocal fry! Surviving the Hard R! Two man Goro horse suits? Faulty claw logic! Cosmic b...
2022-10-051h 13The Worst Movie Ever Made#66 - Cabin FeverNo introduction for Cabin Fever as we kick off Season 8. Let’s skip to the good part, AHHHHHH, AHHHH- AHHH-AHHHH…you know like that song. The TikTok song for the glow ups… Pinwheel piss casts! Pipelogic comes back with a vengeance! Rubbing your chauffeur’s penis! Unconsenting capture of canoodling couples! Funny haha finger in the fanny! Punching the blood clam! Child abuse! Kung Food! Convenient hog slaughter! Zombie people pooping people poop meat, and much, much more on This Week’s Episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
www.theworstmovieevermade.com
Put it in your bookma
2022-09-301h 37The Worst Movie Ever Made#65 - The CrowWe're a day late, but we promise it's for a good reason... we had scheduling conflicts. But we're back with a vengeance with a good movie to close the season out! Back with a vengeance, you say? That sounds familiar. Like 1994's The Crow, perhaps? Chris thinks this movie is just "okay," but Bob and Rob deliver death blows that convince him to think it's still just "okay." That's fine. Can't win them all! But do you know who won over our hearts this week? The Crow. Brandon Lee. The revengencer of a thousand caw-caws! But when it comes...
2022-09-231h 23The Worst Movie Ever Made#64 - Spice WorldSpice up your world... every boy and every girl.
Ahhhhhhhhhh.....
Balled up Ferret muscles! Everest ostriches! Gray gregarious white men! Frenetic fandering! Jovial particle blasting! You say goodbye, I say hello by squeezing your honkers! Baggin Saggin Barry Bus! Seinfeld squares! Ben Stiller babies! Photographer toilet stalkers! Reverse turd burgling, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
www.theworstmovieevermade.com
2022-09-161h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#63 - Masters of the UniverseChris impersonates a leprechaun, Bob's foolery hits its zenith, and Rob pretends to question his own mortality as if that wasn't already a weekly recurrence as the gang raids Castle Grayskull to dump on Masters of the Universe! Oh, how we used to spend our Tuesday nights before we started this show... Musical butt plug keys! Chromatose Krispy Kreming! Octode rectifiers! Shiny metal blinky things! Dubbed Dolph dialogues! Impossibly deep shafts! English adjacent accent impressions! Laughing at people drowning! The Japanese assumption! Microwaved ribs! Parsec aeons! Deferring to the Swedes! Back alley meat exchanges, and much, much more on...
2022-09-071h 22The Worst Movie Ever Made#62 - Lionheart*sigh*
Lionheart...
Let's get into it.
Front foot fuckery! Joshua tree listening party! Raisinet nipple reconnaissance! Clanging and not banging in the penthouse! Sneaky peeky poos! Ass flattery! Attempted pool party murder! Crab puff safety protocol! Dropping the French bomb! Jean Claude Can Dammes! The full spread! Creepy crouchies! Bozo blasting! Roller blader waiters, and much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
www.theworstmovieevermade.com
We're on YouTube every Sunday now. Sometimes we stream on...
2022-09-011h 16The Worst Movie Ever Made#61 - Under SiegeThis week we talk about 1992's Under Siege with none other than Steven Seagal. We learn that he's more than just a cook, and has like 9 purple hearts and is so awesome at everything. We also learn that Tommy Lee Jones might be wearing a hair piece... or is he? Listen to the show to find out. The truth may surprise you. Let's do this! Loony Poons! Hnghnughnugh on the bayou! Return of the horsefishes! Summer’s Eve eating contests! Night milk titty rewinds! Death dangling! Ocean motions! Nuke equity, and much, much more on this week's episode of Th...
2022-08-241h 22The Worst Movie Ever Made#60 - Judge DreddJudge Dredd is the law! And we're subjecting ourselves to his chiseled jawline, and remarkable stature. Oh, how we've been humbled by this steamy loaf. Let's not dilly dally... here we go! Sloppy Sly slaw! Faulty pipe logic (again)! Sci-Fi Denial! Wanton destruction of small businesses! Tit to toe leotard ensembles! Celebratory starvation pacts! Stabby soliloquies! Leslie Shats, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
www.theworstmovieevermade.com
Now on YouTube!
2022-08-171h 26The Worst Movie Ever Made#59 - Hot to TrotWhat has three heads, smells like puke, and will probably quit podcasting forever after the release of this episode? If you guessed Chris, Bob, and Rob, you guessed correctly. We done did it, ladies and gents. Listen to the baffled bewilderment of your beloved hosts performing mental gymnastics trying to explain away any decision made by the people who put this one together. It doesn't make any sense. Here's the yelling part: Equestrian enjambments! Impressive fingers! Livid liquids! Cocaine Quills! Horse stable fuck dungeons! Samurai florists and the machine! Green card jockey jokes, and much, much more on this week's...
2022-08-101h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#58 - GeostormArmageddon, Interstellar, and The Day After Tomorrow walk into a bar. They see two brothers touch wieners while shaking the president’s hand. A daughter who has a total of 3 minutes of screen time is supposed to be the emotional anchor that holds it all together. Bartender says the title of the movie half a dozen times for no reason. Everybody is confused. If you're troubled by what transpired, you might as well have watched Geostorm. A movie that defies space, time, science, and our sensibilities. Let's get into it...
Daddy daughter proxy smarts! Zeus suit riots! Who holoframed Roger Ra...
2022-08-031h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#57 - Howard the DuckSeason 7 starts off with a bang as we hopefully end this George Lucas Streak. George Lucas, the man who's indirectly responsible for the MCU (we think!). Let's get right into it. Regions of demons! Casual bestiality! Duck dick TikTok! Locking in the flavor! The career manipulation of Bodacious Beverly! Satan's Sluts, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
www.theworstmovieevermade.com
Coming soon to YouTube!
2022-07-271h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#56 - The Empire Strikes BackIt's our season finale, so that means we end with a good movie! That's right, episode 5. The one with all the great quotables, betrayal, romance, and action. This movie was so good, that Rob actually kinda liked it. Lots of great nerding out on this one, and we get to once again cleanse our palates before diving into another season of hot garbage. Let's get right to it. Animal igloos! Milky Androids! Severe Severings! Bob Foolery! A distinct lack of debate over intergalactic trade routes! Total yak annihilation! C-3P0 being a total douche, and much, much more on this...
2022-07-201h 28The Worst Movie Ever Made#55 - The Phantom MenaceWe know, we know... you're looking at the title, and thinking, "not that movie!" It's okay. There are some things to consider. For one, our podcast runs shorter than the actual movie, we actually have a structure and sense of direction to our show, and we'd like to think we're charismatic and exuberant in our delivery. Based on those stats alone, we're already doing a better job than the assholes who made this piece of shit! Here's what we're going to talk about: Jar Jar Jargon! Serendickity! Missing the Mark (Hamill)! The ole wizard slip! Polishing the droid! Unlocking the...
2022-07-131h 34The Worst Movie Ever Made#54 - CyborgGather round, and grab a seat. It's time for your hosts to tell you a story about absolutely nothing happening. This is our fourth movie featuring the legendary JCVD, and we don't know why. It's basically the same movie every time. Want the deets? Here they are! Strategic stump assault! Smuckity Huckerson! Spooky Cataracts! Top Heavy Boob Maneuvers! Rob's pizza ruins the show! Jim West Boot Knives! CyBORING results! The lost city of... Atlanta, Georgia, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
This episode was made possible by the State of Florida's Toll E...
2022-07-061h 30
The Worst Movie Ever Made#53 - BattleshipYou guys! We know you probably think that we're making a bold assertion that 1:36:22 of 3 guys bitching about Battleship has more entertainment value than the 2:11:00 runtime of the movie itself, but we assure you we know what we're talking about. What a festering shit-box of a movie. Where do we start? Botched burrito burgling! Cyborg strutting! Cops leaving paraplegics to die! Top Gun soccer knockoffs! Art of War of the Worlds! Rihanna! Thunderstruck Boomer Blasters, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-06-301h 36The Worst Movie Ever MadeFireside Chat w/ Chris and RobToday's episode is brought to you by not actually being a real episode. Our beloved co-host, Bob, has gone missing, and last we heard from him, he was speaking in code through a balled up sock and kazoo from a pay phone in Montreal. We're going to record the real episode on "Battleship," tomorrow night once we reconvene, but we didn't want you, our beloved audience, to miss out on your Wednesday bad movie drive time banter. Chris and Rob talk about lots of stuff in this short and sweet chat. The fate of The Asscheek Arena (TM)! What they're w...
2022-06-2927 minThe Worst Movie Ever Made#52 The FacultyThe boys go back to school with 1998's The Faculty. You know, that movie that got a bunch of grunge artists on their fall from grace to botch a Pink Floyd song for the soundtrack. There's so much to talk about, so let's get right to it. Body-snatchers rules! Flogging the Bishop! Lost tits in the locker room! Double pussy puke! Teacher's lounge water whipping! Diuretic space cocaine! Underbelly dermis tickles, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
Wow.
2022-06-221h 25The Worst Movie Ever Made#51 - GottiThe boys are back in town, but unfortunately so is John Gotti. We crawled through every single inch of marble-mouthed dialogue... fuck, even the guy who writes captions for TUBI quit his job forever and has not been seen since. Let's get right into it! Badfellas! Hairpiece philanthropy! Junior Gotti's secret youth elixir! Spousal abuse! Cop hat takesey backsies! Proper penis assessment, and much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever made!
2022-06-151h 30The Worst Movie Ever Made#50 - Vantage PointMore like "Vantage Disappoint," amiright? Wow. Just wow. No further introductions, here we go: Spanish Rambo! Ice cream cone kerfuffles! Double-mint Democracy! Trouble on camera three! Rob's son shits himself! Forest Whitaker's insatiable lust for danger! Electoral dysfunction, and much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! Brought to you by Milton Bradley's new strategic board-game, "who fucked my couch?"
2022-06-081h 28The Worst Movie Ever Made#49 - The Last AirbenderThe gang slips into their avatars and gets bent on M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender... a movie so bad, that not even Bruce Willis' ghost can save it from itself. Element bending! Too much diet coke! M. Night Shyamalan's shadow war with the Catholic Church! Frozen water balls! Celibate fire breathers! Unprompted, nonchalant, and effortless elder sacrifice! Whispered exposition, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
This is the season 6 kickoff, so scroll down, and get caught up!
2022-06-011h 18The Worst Movie Ever Made#48 - End of Watch“End of Watch?” More like “total dogshit,” amiright? Liberace strikeouts! Befuddled Blair Witch buffoonery! Fuck tally burnouts! Big evil dunk jumps! Candid camera camaraderie! Jarhead Jake’s droopy face, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!!! Omg
2022-05-251h 26The Worst Movie Ever Made#47 - AirplaneThe gang brushes up on their jive talk, and straps in for this season's good movie palate cleanse! Mayo Clinic Mishaps! Suicidal exposition! Straight faced tomfoolery! Back-stabbing on the dance floor! Autopilot blowjobs! Unnecessary amounts of Van Halen! Surely Temples, and much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-05-181h 10The Worst Movie Ever Made#46 - CommandoThe gang splits logs and flips phone-booths with Commando this week! Chris does intense muscle analysis, Bob fools everybody with "fact or no fact," and Rob complains about his debit card not working or some stupid shit. So much to get into, so let's get into it shall we? Recurring pipe logic! Lawn care homicide! Shiny mullets! Dump truck assassins! Brown sugar face! Putting the shed in machete! Pectacular protuberances! Daddy daughter laundry logistics! Buffering Bob, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! KA-KOWWWWWW!
2022-05-111h 38The Worst Movie Ever Made#45 - KickboxerWrap up your shins, and get ready for some good ole fashioned tree kicking as the gang talks about 1989's Kickboxer! The action! The revenge! The romance! So, so much to talk about, so let's get right on to it. Doggy Daggers! Eric's wheelchair ejections, of which there are multiple! Maxed out scrotal sacks! Seductive dance fights! Cobra head quiche! Rob hates Rory Gilmore, but can't articulate it. Shimmering, oiled and taut buttocks! Underwhelming glass slapping, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-05-041h 31The Worst Movie Ever Made#44 - Double DragonThis week, we talk about a movie that double drags onnnnnn, amiright? Eek gad, golly gee willikers, what a boner of a film. We don't even want to do a write-up it's so bad. Here we go. Nitro powered Cheeze Wiz! Tunnel crawling butt invasions! Spinach funnels! Medallions that don't work! Inexplicable jet-ski adventures! Organized Anarchists! Shitcoins that fail to launch! Sudden Brooklyn accents! Disappointing lack of rope burn, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-04-271h 39The Worst Movie Ever Made#43 - The Cat in the HatThe gang giggles and sleuths, and bimble and boof as they tip their hats to this adaptation of the great Dr. Seuss. We're talking The Cat in the Hat, a film so bad that there was legal intervention to make sure another adaption of this kind was never made again. Popcorn knee pads! Sanitary supervisors! Nocturnal emissions! Dirty hoes! Shit cars! No lessons! No rhymes! No respect for our time! Slow speed chases that would make O.J. blush, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-04-201h 31The Worst Movie Ever Made#42 - CliffhangerA wise man from the YouTube comments once said, "Cliffhanger hanging from a cliff and that’s why he’s called cliffhanger." He's not wrong. Psychotic snowman shenanigans! Bunny chasing tracker logistics! Sweater swapping semantics! Bats for no good reason! Radical dudes catching some gnar gnar (read: bullets in their faces)! Horse combing schedule kerfuffles! Cliffhanger! Hanging from a cliff! And much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-04-131h 24The Worst Movie Ever Made#41 - Inspector GadgetIt's a full house this week as Jay (@dusty_penguin_112) joins the gang to go, go, gadget review this fucking pile of shit. This episode runs a little long, but it's jam packed with witty dialogue, comedic timing, excellent pacing, and ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN A 90 million dollar MOVIE THAT DO NOT HAPPEN IN INSPECTOR GADGET. Maybe Matthew Broderick was in on the scam a la The Producers. If the film flops, then you make MORE money. Sure there's no tap-dancing Hitler in this flick, but hey, maybe somebody will pick up the licensing...
2022-04-061h 49The Worst Movie Ever Made#40 - SpawnSpawny, Spawny, he's our man, if he can't do it... well, anybody with $40,000,000 and a thesaurus turned to the "poop" page can. Seriously, if you just dropped your pants and took a dump into a film canister, you'll probably have a better movie. At least flies scrambling to get a last meal is somewhat compelling compared to this steaming pile. The gang unpacks a lot here, but they mainly focus on how so little was said with so much exposition. Rob discovers that if you watch a movie at 1.5x speed, you can get it over with faster, and then...
2022-03-301h 37The Worst Movie Ever Made#39 - HackersWe kick off season 5 with an announcement! Chris and Rob welcome Bob (think_in_movie_scenes) onto the show as a full time shitty movie analyst. This show is too big for two hosts to handle. 2 backs cannot carry the weight of all this terrible cinema week after week. That being said, the gang tries to "mess with the best, and die like the rest" as they unpack "Hackers," from the product placement to the roller skatin'. Checkin' out poopers! The plague's affinity for sour straws. Wheelie-board disk swapping! Matthew Lillard's pigtails! Rob gets fired from his own bit! 30 year...
2022-03-231h 28The Worst Movie Ever Made#38 - The Dark KnightWhat do you call it when Batman sneaks out of Church? A Christian Bale! We know, we know... The Dark Knight? On The Worst Movie Ever Made? Well in case you're just tuning in (earth to you, hellooooooooo!?), we watch a good movie at the end of every season to cleanse our palate. Listen, Chris knows his shit when it comes to movies, and Rob literally only watches cartoons, so in order to stay objective, we sometimes need to throw something actually worth watching into our steaming cauldron of poopy movies. So let's get into it, shall we? Cool...
2022-03-161h 41The Worst Movie Ever Made#37 - March BadnessChris and Rob, AND BOB (Think_In_Movie_Scenes) calculate the worst movie ever made up to this point in 4 seasons. 32 movies put to the test, and the results will surprise you! Or not. They probably won’t. If you’ve been listening so far you pretty much know where this disaster ranking is going. Episode is hella funny though. In the wise words of Wilfred Brimley, bad movie make jackrabbit slap de bear. We’ll be back next week with our regular programming.
2022-03-092h 02The Worst Movie Ever Made#36 - The Ice RoadChris and Rob dust off their mud-flaps, and haul a payload of garbage across The Ice Road. This wet turd in a blanket withstands all our tests, but will it be ranked amongst the worst of the bad? You’re gonna have to tune in and find out. Tip Toeing through the R-word! Decades old ad placements! Moping miners! Poopy diamonds! Triage massage! Shifty claims adjusters! Fun facts we just made up! Craig’s an asshole, and much, much more on this week’s episode AND SEASON FINALE of The Worst Movie Ever Made! Stay tuned next week for our “March Ba...
2022-03-021h 24The Worst Movie Ever Made#35 - ElektraChris and Rob recruit instagram’s Dusty_Penguin_112 for assistance in breaking down Elektra. And it’s good they have a guest, because Rob pretty much checked out on this one. Delayed resuscitations! Covert Cabbage! Botched box cutter burgling! Dead mom pissing contests! The uncomfortable gurgling of anthropomorphic tattoos, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-02-231h 36The Worst Movie Ever Made#34 - VolcanoChris and Rob run to the hills in order to properly survey the damage caused by Volcano. Tommy Lee Jones (TLJ) delegates his way through disaster one flip phone at a time as he races the clock to save his daughter from the lava bomb to end all lava bombs. Manhole blowouts! Steamy heat holes! Rodney King Volcano Tacos! Tectonic Technicalities! Magma Explanations! Basketball confusion! Chris having a stroke, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Episode Ever Made!
2022-02-161h 31The Worst Movie Ever Made#33 - Hard to KillChris and Rob welcome back Bob Hasak from @think_in_movie_scenes to talk about Hard to Kill, to break down exactly what makes this movie so unwatchable. Is it the literal and figurative grooming of a man who's been in a coma in 7 years to be a fuck buddy? Or is it simply the fact that we have to watch Steven Seagal run in a training montage? In this movie there is one scene where a horse is shown running through the opening in a fence. I don’t know if it was an artistic decision that was ma...
2022-02-091h 58The Worst Movie Ever Made#32 - Road HouseChris and Rob take a Double Deuce all over 1989’s Road House, and ask each other who is this movie for? On one hand, there’s titties and fighting. On the other hand, it’s kinda written like one of those beach bum books with Fabio on the cover. Enough chatter, let’s get into it. Ass taxidermy! Dagger Duels! Absent authorities! Penis logistics! Barn Burning Millionaires! Sharp footwear! Homicidal coin toss ultimatums, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-02-021h 10The Worst Movie Ever Made#31 - SenselessChris and Rob saddle up and smack that ass as they pump their butts up full of goof juice and talk about 1998's "Senseless!" A movie that teaches aspiring comedians that if a joke doesn't land, you should try it out another 30 fucking times to just be absolutely sure that it still doesn't land. There's so much to talk about, so let's get right into it! Vibin' like a plantation owner! Prince Albert in a pants?! Callin' out the coochie cabbage! Invasive proctology! Party sized semen jugs! Plasma fraud, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst...
2022-01-261h 17The Worst Movie Ever Made#30 - Demolition ManChris and Rob are at odds as they take a trip to the not-so-distant future. That's right, we're eating at Pizza Hut tonight! We're talking about Demolition Man, of course! A dystopian, Philip K. Dickian romp through time and morality! Swear word citations! Sea Shell Shit Swiping! Oculus fluid transfer simulations! Anxiety Knitting! Inexplicable Rubber Suits! Smithsonian Assault Rifles, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2022-01-191h 15The Worst Movie Ever Made#29 - The Sorcerer's ApprenticeChris and Rob kick off season 4 with a sour taste in their mouths as they break down 2010's The Sorcerer's Apprentice. For a movie that has some astoundingly good special effects, we just wish they would have spent a few bucks on a proper table read. The kind of chemistry in this flick could be found in Sophomore year chemistry class. Instead of learning proper unit conversion, we're given some wiener from a Seth Rogan Movie who sounds like the love child of Professor Frink and Andy Dick. Not to mention the botched physics lesson in particle acceleration, where...
2022-01-121h 14The Worst Movie Ever Made#28 - Raising ArizonaChris and Rob take a well deserved break, and dive into an actual good movie to wrap up season 3! That's right, we're talking Raising Arizona! This was Rob's first time despite his obvious fandom of the master himself! And what's there not to love about this movie? Let's just dive right into and do the list thing: Baby theft! Unpainted furniture blowouts! Sloppy robbery instructions! Shotgun Huggies! Yodas and shit! Cabbage breathed bounty hunters! Grenade trickery! Fugitive slumber parties, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
Season 4 s...
2022-01-051h 06The Worst Movie Ever Made#27 - Super Mario BrothersChris and Rob dumpster dive into a parallel dimension filled with dinosaurs and shitty plot mechanisms as they unpack Super Mario Brothers. This movie was tough to watch because it's supposed to be a video game adaptation, but that part never really... happened. How could a game about an Italian plumber who eats coins and shoots fireballs at mushroom people on his way to rescue a princess from a lizard king get so lost in translation? Dino Dungeons! Garbage truck escapism! Evolution for dummies! Verbose henchmen with faulty cranial calculators! Lizard pizza! Dangling plunger decor! Thirsty Utility Vans? Suspiciously shaped...
2021-12-291h 16
The Worst Movie Ever Made#26 - How the Grinch Stole ChristmasOn today's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made, we--
"Wait, weren't you called The Bomb Filter last week?"
Yeah, nobody got it, so don't bring it up ever again.
MOVING ON! This week we talk about Ron Howard's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," and hopefully this will put a cap on holiday movies that you all seem to have such an insatiable thirst for. We're all marching in lockstep toward the sweet release of death (life's only guarantee) as we know it, so make sure you leave cookies out for Santa! Jessssssssssuus...
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The Worst Movie Ever Made#25 - Christmas with the KranksChris and Rob welcome The Freelanceaholic Kevin Meng (@thefreelanceaholic) to rail on Christmas With the Kranks like it's never been railed on before. Rob did his research. Mel's doesn't actually make a can of ham that large, so let's start there. When it comes to reconstituted pork shoulder gelatin byproducts, we're pretty sure the government has a "one pound max" regulation that purveyors of congealed pork bricks have to adhere to. We ran a little long on this one, but WE HAD TO. There was was much to talk about which is unfortunate because we've spent way too much energy...
2021-12-151h 54The Worst Movie Ever Made#24 - Jingle all the WayChris and Rob talk Jingle All the Way with special guest Kyndra Crump (@thekyndracrumpshow)! And we were glad to have the company of this comedian and podcasting extraordinaire on this episode because there's lots to talk about! Like, is it okay for another dude to hang up your Christmas lights when you're not home? How do you react to this? Is violence the answer? Probably, but this is a kid's movie, so let's save the violence for later when it's the appropriate time... like setting off a bomb at a radio station with the hopes of winning a fucking action...
2021-12-091h 54The Worst Movie Ever Made#23 - Dante's PeakChris and Rob welcome back Bob Hasak from @Think_In_Movie_Scenes for a hearty discussion about Dante's Peak! While this movie was enjoyable at first blush, several steamy turds float to the surface as the story unfolds. GamGam's acid bath! Nookie in the hot springs! Coal mine potato chip rations! Engine Snorkeling lava drama! Pulley assisted pushups! Vague beer orders! Fist chucking cashew maneuvers! Boiled frogs! Promises of big fish! And much, much, more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2021-12-011h 41The Worst Movie Ever Made#22 - Wild HogsChris and Rob fire up the smoker as they roast up some Wild Hogs! The open road! Biting the butter! Poo bag propagation! Guy fall down, hahahahah! But he’s okay though, he falls down a lot it’s a running gag ahhahahahaa! Rival gangs! Chili cookoffs washed down with some wholesome piss gargling! The sinking feeling that an hour and forty minutes have been shaved off my mortal coil, and much, much, more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2021-11-241h 21The Worst Movie Ever Made#21 - Hard TargetWAKEY WAKEY YOU FAT FUCKS!!! On this week of The Worst Movie Ever Made, Chris and Rob have trouble breaking down a couple of things in 1993’s “Hard Target.” Firstly, the dialogue makes them cringe, but seconds later they admit that some of it is pretty damn quotable. Secondly, the explosions that looked great were disproportionately out of context in regard to size and damage. Like, if you shoot a pint of gasoline with a gun, is it really able to level an entire warehouse? So much to unpack here as our hosts dive into the minutia, the drama, the romanc...
2021-11-171h 30The Worst Movie Ever Made#20 - Jaws 3DYou guys! It’s season three! Chris and Rob try to stuff three dimensions of shit into two dimensions of review. Is that how it works? Or is a podcast only one dimension because there is no video? Who the hell knows, so let’s get to it, shall we? Coral Reefer Madness! NASA knobs in Atlantis! Late night boner runs! Wallet thieving tentacle contraptions! An unintentional sponsor! Shit coins! Guvna grenades! Floating heads! Bogus beer slides! And much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2021-11-101h 37The Worst Movie Ever Made#19 - JawsChris and Rob shake off the ashes from Season 1's Waterworld, and plunge into the murky waters of Jaws! On season 2's "Great Movie" finale, a bigger boat is needed, but it won't be found on Netflix, because this episode is brought to you by Piracy(TM)! Quality zingers! Shark soliloquies! Bathtub moonshine! Menacing music! John Goodman tickle fights? Gaslighting barracudas! Chum buckets! Shooting stars! And much, much more! This is the Season 2 finale of The Worst Movie Ever Made, so let's end it with a bang!
2021-11-031h 29The Worst Movie Ever Made#18 - House on Haunted HillWords cannot describe how Chris and Rob talk about this movie. Eventful? No! Thoughtful? No! Direction and taste? Also no! It is hard to use metrics to analyze a film that is so fucking stupid and without a point. It was so hard to do this episode, that the internet went out. We had to reset, and start up again. Even still, our podcast was more cohesive and focused than this absolute piece of garbage. We've even been told that sanitation workers started renegotiating their union contracts because the debris from this film went upwind and soiled their benefits. Seriously...
2021-10-271h 21The Worst Movie Ever Made#17 - Grease 2Chris and Rob engage in some reproduction at the bowling alley as they slide into the chain smoking, jazz handing, sex baiting cavalcade that is known as Grease 2! 30 year old high school students! Song and dance numbers about how much you hate school that you clearly spent the entire summer vacation learning with people you know from school so you can show up at school and dance for your teachers in perfect lock step! Motorcycle scrap yard wheelie montage sequences! That guy with the weird face! Michelle Pfeiffer... All this and more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie...
2021-10-201h 30The Worst Movie Ever Made#16 - Thirteen GhostsChris and Rob set phasers to spooky as they talk about Thirteen Ghosts! Dirt Downloading junkyard hi-jinks! Blood Trucks! Dead Mom basement echolalia! Scooters and gears! Bloody Tub Girl titty meat! Nanny Semantics! A FUCKING GHOST TORSO! And much, much more! Brought to you by KornHub (TM).
2021-10-131h 21The Worst Movie Ever Made#15 - Ernest Goes to SchoolChris and Rob show their Muskrat pride as they run through the vacuous halls of Ernest Goes to School! Clockwork Orange locker experiments! Algebra for dummies! Gordian Knot plumbing! Varsity team switcheroo gas bomb shenanigans! Fast forward tuba violations, and much, much more! It's not quite Back to School, and it's not quite Billy Madison, but it's... uh... well you should probably just listen to this one because there's lots to unpack here. The Worst Movie Ever Made! NOW IN COLOR!
2021-10-061h 22The Worst Movie Ever Made#14 - CatwomanChris and Rob welcome their first guest to cough up some hairballs on Catwoman! Bob from think_in_movie_scenes throws some haymakers in our logical inconsistencies section with verve and enthusiasm as we bag up a bunch of cats like Huckleberry Finn to eliminate the wart that is known as Halle Berry's performance. Ferris wheels with a mind of their own! Cosmetic Conglomerates! Police that show up to the scene faster than Domino's! Comprehensive forensic lipstick analytics, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
2021-09-291h 48The Worst Movie Ever Made#13 - Bangkok DangerousChris and Rob spend "One Night in Bangkok," and go through Nicolas Cage's hairpiece with a fine-tooth comb on this week's episode of The Bomb Filter. Communicating with the deaf! Kung-Fu Patty Cakes! Four rules to live by! Taiwanese Kennedy clones! The logistics of drowning! Motorbike window rendezvous! Water jug computer rooms! Will Joe defeat Terl in the Asscheek Arena (TM)? All this and much, much more on The Worst Movie Ever Made! Brought to you FAKEUMS! THE PLANT BASED STEAK!
2021-09-221h 36The Worst Movie Ever Made#12 - Battlefield EarthChris and Rob pound Kerbango (TM), and stumble through Planet Psychlo as they review Battlefield Earth. Space embezzlement and flappy Psychlo tongues? The whacky antics of Terl and Ker? Endless options for renewal? Endless options for renewal? Endless options for renewal? Choppy slow-mo center-wipes... and much, much more! This may very well be the worst movie in the world, but who are we to say? We're just experts asking questions. Strap in for a ride to... Denver or something as we unravel Terl's Dreadlocks and dive into this crap-lousy movie. Battlefield Earth!
2021-09-151h 27The Worst Movie Ever Made#11 - George of the JungleChris and Rob swing from rubber trees as they unpack George of the Jungle! Learn about the Brendan Fraser total body workout, poorly timed vine gags, dick ripping mother in-laws, bongo-gramming gorillas, grown women falling in love with jungle men who have the mental age of eleven, and much, much more on this week of The Worst Movie Ever Made! Don't forget your leg lock before swinging from this pile of shit!
2021-09-081h 28The Worst Movie Ever Made#10 - The Big LebowskiChris and Rob fuck with the Jesus on this season finale of The Worst Movie Ever Made. That's right, they're talking Lebowski(a great movie, not a bad one)! The BIG Lebowski! Bowling and piss rugs! Underwear ringer bags, and upwind cremations! Treehorn doodles of giant boners?! All that and more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! Brought to you by weed and booze.
2021-09-011h 07The Worst Movie Ever Made#9 - Raw DealChris and Rob grapple with faulty equipment while assessing 1986's "Raw Deal." Shit cake switcheraoos! Styrofoam cinder blocks! Exit wounds worth talking about! Romance! Motorcycle log rides! Custom made milk glass holders! And much more! Raw Deal! Holy shit.
2021-08-251h 15The Worst Movie Ever Made#8 - Batman & RobinChris and Rob say, "Ice to meet you," in their coolest episode yet! Bane in a fedora? Lips filled with venom even though that's not how venom works? Sex slave diamond auctions? Leather bat butts? Strap in with a frosty beverage, and make sure you winterize your pipes, because it's gonna be a cold one!
2021-08-181h 17The Worst Movie Ever Made#7 - Wild Wild WestChris and Rob get wiggy wiggy wild all up on this Will Smith Western, and their poor taste detector explodes. Buckwheat boobies? Confederates with Pantera Goatees? GIANT SPIDERS?!?! All that and more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made. Brought to you by Nelson Mandela's Escape Room & Fun House.
2021-08-121h 24The Worst Movie Ever Made#6 - Suicide SquadIn this episode, Chris and Rob clearly both hate this movie. Will Suicide Squad become the new worst movie ever made? Or will their tests prove otherwise? Tune in and find out. Today's episode brought to you by Sausage Sally's Sauna and Brunch.
2021-08-041h 30The Worst Movie Ever Made#5 - Street FighterChris and Rob try to find meaning in their lives after button mashing through Street Fighter, the movie based on the video game that is a movie and not a video game because it's a movie.
2021-07-281h 24The Worst Movie Ever Made#4 - Over the TopIn this episode, Chris and Rob go "Over the Top," by reviewing "Over the Top." Remember, this is a double elimination episode, which means you have to do it twice. If you do it once, you still have to do it another time, because it's double, meaning twice.
2021-07-221h 12The Worst Movie Ever Made#3 - Water WorldChris and Rob get wet and wild, and take a deep dive into Water World in this week's episode!
2021-07-211h 32The Worst Movie Ever Made#2 - The Wicker ManChris and Rob go "full on ass-cheek" while exploring 2006's, The Wicker Man.
2021-07-211h 20The Worst Movie Ever Made#1 - ArmageddonChris and Rob try to find the worst movie ever made. In this inaugural episode, they talk about Armageddon.
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