Shows
Ruby RaeDRabbit Hole: The History of Vaginoplasty and the Sensate Clitoris“There is no clitoris as yet.”One sentence in the May 1972 edition of Sisters, a lesbian magazine, sent me down a medical-history rabbit hole. I thought it couldn’t be right. Then I started digging, for days.Join Ruby Rae for a journey through the development of vaginoplasty, clitoral reconstruction and the preservation of sensation. From early attempts to create a vaginal canal to skin grafts, bowel techniques, peritoneal flaps and robotic surgery, this history reaches far beyond trans healthcare.We explore the connections between reconstruction for cisgender women, intersex patients and trans women...
2026-10-1325 min
Ruby RaeDOn Parental Communication: Respect, Boundaries, and When “Love” Isn’t EnoughIn this late-night RubyRaeD reflection, Rae unpacks a thought sparked by a recent conversation on the Kaleidoscope podcast and explores something painfully common in LGBTQ+ families: the collision between a parent's pre-existing beliefs and the reality of the person they already love.When a child comes out as trans, some parents find themselves forced to reconcile two incompatible ideas: the belief that transgender people are somehow wrong, strange, or broken, and the knowledge that their child is still the same person they have always known and loved.Sometimes, instead of reconsidering the belief, the parent...
2026-10-0609 min
Ruby RaeDReflections on Dysphoria 6 Weeks Post OpThe Performance Is Not the IdentityI’m back after gender confirmation surgery, and I’m still working through what it means to finally be on this side of something I spent years moving toward.This episode isn’t really about the surgery itself. It’s about what happened when one enormous source of dysphoria suddenly became quiet.What happens to the rest of your dysphoria when that happens?And how much of what we call dysphoria belongs entirely to us?I talk about imposter syndrome, passing, beauty standards, gender p...
2026-09-2014 min
Ruby RaeDWords As Keys, The Etymology of "Transgender"Language changes because people need better ways to describe themselves.In this episode of the RubyRaeD Podcast, Rae explores the strange, complicated and often uncomfortable history of the words used to describe trans and gender-diverse people.From sexual inversion and eonism to transvestite, transsexual and eventually transgender, the language surrounding gender has shifted dramatically over the last century. Some terms began as attempts at understanding. Others emerged from medicine, sexology and systems that wanted to classify people. Some gave people access to community or healthcare. Others became cages.And sometimes the same word...
2026-09-1526 min
Ruby RaeDA Trans Woman's Transition Regrets Days Before SurgeryFifteen days before her gender confirmation surgery, Rae opens up about transition regret in a way that moves beyond fearmongering, panic, and anti-trans talking points.In this deeply personal episode, Rae reflects on what she actually regrets as a South African trans woman living in Asia: being outed, losing family relationships, losing agency over her own story, spending years performing masculinity, and not recognizing safe love and support sooner.But she is also clear about what she does not regret. She does not regret transitioning. She does not regret the epiphany. She does not regret...
2026-06-2918 min
Cmoove Grooves PodcastWho Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 9)STILL Introducing you to that good music that you might not hear on the radio from Neo and Independent Soul, Alternative R&B, NuJazz and Instrumentalist artists.As always.. Listen... Enjoy...and Share...(Hit the "❤" so that I know you were here.)Who Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 9)01. Braxton Cook - All My Life (feat. Marie Dahlstrom) | (00:00)02. Terrace Martin - Not Sharing (feat. Ogi) | (04:49)03. Alex Isley - Maybe Again | (08:40)04. M.Fasol - *Head in the Clouds | (11:48)05. Cosima Olu - Easy | (15:54)06. Jah Born & Jordache Grant - Censored (feat. Sean G...
2026-06-193h 01
Cmoove Grooves PodcastWho Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 9)STILL Introducing you to that good music that you might not hear on the radio from Neo and Independent Soul, Alternative R&B, NuJazz and Instrumentalist artists.
As always.. Listen... Enjoy...and Share...
(Hit the "❤" so that I know you were here.)
Who Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 9)
01. Braxton Cook - All My Life (feat. Marie Dahlstrom) | (00:00)
02. Terrace Martin - Not Sharing (feat. Ogi) | (04:49)
03. Alex Isley - Maybe Again | (08:40)
04. M.Fasol - *Head in the Clouds | (11:48)
05. Cosima Olu - Easy | (15:54)
06. Jah Born & Jordache Grant - Censored (feat. Sean G & Christopher "Sax" Mitchell) | (19:33)
07. Yaya Bey - slow dancing in the kitchen | (22:24)
08. Ax...
2026-06-193h 01
Ruby RaeDTransition Has Endings: Surgery Prep, Legal Progress & Becoming MyselfEpisode SummaryIn this life update, Rae reflects on the overwhelming middle of transition: preparing for gender confirmation surgery, handling legal transition paperwork, balancing teaching responsibilities, running a daily trans history countdown, and trying to stay grounded through it all.This episode is about the reality behind transition milestones. Life does not pause for surgery prep, document changes, work deadlines, emotional check-ins, or dysphoria. Rae talks openly about nervousness, support, self-evaluation, and the difference between doubt and healthy fear before a major life-changing step.She also reflects on erasure, why trans history matters...
2026-06-1718 minCmoove Grooves PodcastWho Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 7)We start off the new year STILL Introducing you to that good music that you might not hear on the radio from Neo and Independent Soul, Alternative R&B, NuJazz and Instrumentalist artists.As always.. Listen... Enjoy...and Share...(Hit the "❤" so that I know you were here.)Who Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 7)01. AYODROOP - LOVELY ROSE [Explicit] | (00:00)02. Common & Pete Rock - We’re On Our Way | (03:10)03. Zacchae'us Paul - MAMA SAID (feat. Morgan Guerin) | (06:52)04. Lynda Dawn - Love Is Callin’ | (09:50)05. The Amours - Before I Met You | (13:35)06...
2026-06-102h 57Cmoove Grooves PodcastWho Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 7)We start off the new year STILL Introducing you to that good music that you might not hear on the radio from Neo and Independent Soul, Alternative R&B, NuJazz and Instrumentalist artists.
As always.. Listen... Enjoy...and Share...
(Hit the "❤" so that I know you were here.)
Who Da Neo-Soul Is This? : 2026 (Vol. 7)
01. AYODROOP - LOVELY ROSE [Explicit] | (00:00)
02. Common & Pete Rock - We’re On Our Way | (03:10)
03. Zacchae'us Paul - MAMA SAID (feat. Morgan Guerin) | (06:52)
04. Lynda Dawn - Love Is Callin’ | (09:50)
05. The Amours - Before I Met You | (13:35)
06. Jaz Karis - MET YOU AT A BAR (feat Tone Stith) [Explic...
2026-06-102h 57
Ruby RaeDStay Alive Long Enough to Find YourselfContent WarningThis episode includes discussion of mental health, depression, suicidal ideation, dysphoria, trauma, anti-trans reactions from loved ones, and survival during early transition.Please listen with care.Crisis Support NoteIf you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or feel unsafe, please reach out to someone immediately: a trusted person, a local crisis line, emergency services, or a mental health professional. You deserve help from people who take your pain seriously.Episode SummaryIn this deeply personal episode, Rae talks about early transition, survival...
2026-06-0814 min
Ruby RaeDWHO NAMED US?Trans people did not appear when modern words appeared. The experience existed first. The words changed.In this episode, Rae explores the history and evolution of transgender language through what she calls the “fossil record” of words: the old terms, the medical terms, the community terms, and the weaponized terms that have shaped how society has understood trans people over time.Starting with her love of unusual words through Foyle’s Philavery, Rae reflects on how language works as a key to recognition. Words are not just labels placed onto reality after the fact. Sometimes they h...
2026-05-2434 min
Ruby RaeDThe Trans Pipeline, The Meme Pipeline, and the MythWhat actually is the “trans pipeline”?In this episode of RubyRaeD, Rae breaks down the three versions of the so-called pipeline: the affirming reality of self-discovery, the transphobic myth of “indoctrination,” and the chaotic internet memeverse pipeline built from TikToks, Reddit threads, gender-swap memes, and online culture.Through deeply personal storytelling, philosophical reflection, and internet absurdity, Rae explores childhood gender envy, fantasy and escapism, private experimentation, online personas, social transition, dysphoria, HRT, and the search for authentic selfhood while living in China.This episode is not about “becoming trans.” It’s about understanding yourself.
2026-05-1019 min
Ruby RaeDExploring Gender MappingWhat if everything you thought about gender… was just one version of the story?In this episode, Rae explores the concept of gender mapping — how different cultures, histories, and systems have understood gender across time — and why the modern Western binary is only one small piece of a much bigger picture.Drawing from Dr. Eli Erlick’s work and the development of the Gender Unicorn, Rae unpacks:What gender mapping actually isHow cultures around the world have recognized gender diversity for centuriesWhy modern understandings of gender are shaped by colonial and religious frameworksThe evolution of gende...
2026-05-0616 min
Ruby RaeDThe source of transgender confidenceThe Source of Trans Confidence: Alignment, Expression, and Thought ExperimentsRae introduces her channel RubyRaeD about her life transitioning as a trans woman living in Asia and discusses what “real” confidence is, contrasting it with performative, masculinized ideas of confidence like visibility and fearlessness. She argues true confidence comes from self-alignment—expressing yourself within society’s rules while pushing against heteronormative, patriarchal expectations—and describes early transition as a period of experimentation with fashion and identity, especially for trans-feminine people discovering wider ranges of expression. Rae rejects the idea that trans women’s expression is primarily vanity or fetish, f...
2026-04-2219 min
Ruby RaeDThe Signs I Was Trans Before I Knew It (And Why I Couldn’t Say It)What does it actually feel like to know you’re trans… before you have the language for it?In this episode, I break down the early phase of being trans that most people struggle to explain, the time before coming out, before labels, where something feels off but you can’t articulate why.I talk through real experiences, including:early signs of gender dysphoria most people misswhy so many trans people overcompensate or “perform” genderwhat boymoding feels like in everyday lifedissociation, brain fog, and the mental load of hidinghow HRT changed my clarity and sense of s...
2026-04-2023 min
Ruby RaeDThe Question that Hurts All Trans PeopleIn this episode, Ruby Rae responds to one of the most common and emotionally loaded questions trans people hear: “Have you really thought about the lifelong medical consequences of transition?” What may sound like sincere concern often carries assumptions that trans people haven’t already spent years interrogating their own identities, researching care, and navigating extensive medical gatekeeping.Ruby breaks down why this question can feel invasive even when well-intentioned, explores the hidden assumptions behind it, and walks through the real informed consent and assessment processes involved in gender-affirming care under WPATH guidelines. She also discusses regret rates...
2026-04-1214 min
Ruby RaeD My Coming Out and Family Journey: A Personal ReflectionIn this episode, Rae shares a raw and personal account of coming out as transgender, navigating family rejection, and carving out a path toward authenticity. It’s an honest reflection on identity, boundaries, and what it means to choose yourself in environments that don’t always make space for you.What we talk aboutReturning home after transition and the emotional weight of itFamily dynamics, rejection, and navigating deadnamingSetting boundaries while still holding space for loveChoosing a name and what that process really meansLiving authentically in socially conservative environmentsLegal gender mark...
2026-04-0624 min