Sahaj Kaur Kohli - Podcast Details

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$That\'s Total Mom Sense$ That's Total Mom SenseREPLAY: Sahaj Kaur Kohli: Exploring Mental Health Challenges Through the Immigrant ExperienceAs a child of immigrants, do you feel conflicted about your cultural values and your modern day beliefs? Are you navigating what you want to pass on to your kids and what you want to end with you? Today I’m joined by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, my family friend and a celebrated author, therapist, #WashingtonPost columnist, and founder of @browngirltherapy, the first and largest mental health and wellness community organization for children of immigrants. We dive into the principles and strategies discussed in her book, "But What Will People Say?" with Penguin Life to uncover how to take the be...2025-07-1752 min

EmbodiedWhy We Need More Therapists Of ColorIt took Anita 12 years and five therapists to find someone who could help her tackle questions of racial and cultural identity. She meets two therapists of color working to make that kind of support more accessible. Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy, talks about approaching wellness from a more collectivist lens, and Jor-El Caraballo shares how he helps clients build tools for resilience in the face of systemic oppression.Meet the guests:- Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a psychotherapist, the founder of Brown Girl Therapy and the author of “But What Will People Say...2025-07-0349 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliLet’s Talk About SexAs a couples therapist, Sahaj Kaur Kohli talks about sex all the time with clients. But the truth is, she still struggles to talk about it in her own life. Sahaj and many other children of immigrants grew up with silence, shame, and secrecy around sex and desire. In this episode, Sahaj explores the cultural narratives that shape pleasure and sexuality with kink-affirming, anti-oppressive therapist Kimmy Wu. Listeners also share personal stories of shame and self-discovery in their sex lives. Together, Sahaj and Kimmy offer insights and tips for feeling more liberated in your body, decolonizing your relationship with...2025-07-0341 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliBoundaries, Low Contact, or Estrangement: What’s Right for You?We’ve all heard we need boundaries to protect our peace, but what does that really look like in collectivist cultures? In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli challenges Western ideas of boundaries, unpacks common misconceptions, and explores what it means to go low or no contact with loved ones. We’ll hear real-life stories from people navigating boundary-setting in immigrant families – some successful, some not – and others who’ve ultimately chosen to go no contact. Sahaj also shares practical tips for setting culturally-responsive boundaries, and answers your most pressing questions about estrangement. Find exclusive bonus content and continu...2025-06-1831 min

TURN it up!#216 TURNing it up with Ilhaam Mohammad "Partition didn’t just divide land—it fractured relationships, cultures, and collective memory. And that loss, that silence, still echoes through generations." – Ilham Mohamed In this special episode of Wellbeing Wednesday, Gurjeet sits down with Ilham Mohamed—researcher, writer, and community advocate—for a powerful conversation on identity, cultural memory, and emotional wellbeing in South Asian communities. From the often-overlooked contributions of Indian Muslims in Canada to the inherited silence left behind by Partition, Ilham reflects on how history lives within us—through language, food, film, and relationships. The conversation t...2025-06-1232 min

I Feel That Way TooAm I A Bad Daughter?“How do I love my family without sacrificing me?”In this deeply personal episode, Michelle MiJung Kim unpacks the complicated layers of love, sacrifice, guilt, and resentment within immigrant families. From financial support to emotional labor, Michelle reflects on the invisible expectations placed on her, often at the expense of her own desires and needs.Featuring renowned therapist and Brown Girl Therapy founder Sahaj Kaur Kohli, this episode explores how concepts like filial piety, enmeshment, and parentification shape our understanding of love—and the emotional toll of setting boundaries when silence has always been the langua...2025-06-1032 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliWhy Guilt Feels So Heavy — And What to Do About ItDo you feel guilty all the time? Or worry about abandoning where, and who, you come from? You’re not alone! Guilt is one of the main emotions therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli sees adult children of immigrants struggle with. In this episode, Sahaj unpacks the idea of immigrant guilt — how it differs from everyday guilt — and offers practical tools to help you navigate its complexities. She also explains what it really means to “sit with your feelings” (yes, actually), and we hear powerful stories from listeners on emotional suppression, anger, and the conflicting cultural messages they’ve received about how to feel...2025-06-0436 min

AydentityMentale Gesundheit II: Quatsch-MatschRosa, Gita, Mehdie und Ramin treffen sich zum Chai und wollen wissen: Wie sehr deprimieren dich die Nachrichten? Behältst du deine Sorgen für dich, um deinem Umfeld nicht zur Last zu fallen? Und fragt deine Mutter auch immer, was deine Therapeutin über sie denkt?Rosa empfiehlt: Jason Stanley - How Fascism Works Ramin empfiehlt: The Farewell (USA, 2019)Song: Davoud Behboudy - Asal (1992, Pars Video)Mehr Infos zu Ayande unter:www.ayande.dewww.instagram.com/ayande.juge...2025-05-2945 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIs Duty a Form of Love, or Control?What does duty mean to you? For many of us, especially children of immigrants, duty is complicated. It can look like showing up for loved ones (even when it’s inconvenient), preserving cultural traditions, or fulfilling unspoken expectations. Sometimes duty feels like love, gratitude, and pride. Other times, it carries the weight of pressure, guilt, and grief. In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli helps us reflect on what we truly owe our families and communities — and how to navigate duty when it conflicts with our own needs and desires. You’ll hear from listeners whose sense of duty is sha...2025-05-2127 min

The Pain Gap33. Brown Girl Therapy: Sahaj Kaur Kohli's Mission to Bridge Mental Health and Cultural IdentitySahaj Kaur Kohli is an award-winning therapist, mental health educator, and founder of Brown Girl Therapy, the first and largest mental health community for adult children of immigrants. You may know her as the advice columnist behind Ask Sahaj in The Washington Post, or as the author of the powerful book But What Will People Say.In this episode, Sahaj unpacks the deep intersection of mental health, cultural identity, gender, and generational trauma. We talk about the emotional toll of being raised in collectivist cultures, why traditional therapy often fails women of color, and how guilt, shame...2025-05-1550 min

From Midlife to Best LifeEpisode 5: Cultural IdentitySummary In this episode, Ana and Iris explore the complex theme of identity, particularly in the context of midlife. They discuss how identity evolves over time, the significance of cultural and personal narratives, and the challenges faced in reconciling past identities with present realities. The conversation emphasizes the importance of curiosity and self-acceptance in navigating identity changes, as well as the impact of identity on leadership and decision-making. They also share personal stories and recommend resources for listeners to further explore their own identities. Takeaways Identity evolves and changes throughout life. Cultural identity can...2025-05-1143 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIs Your Immigrant Parent a Narcissist?In a recent Brown Girl Therapy poll, 85% of nearly 3,300 respondents said they think their parents are narcissistic. That’s…a lot! In this episode, we dig into why so many children of immigrants resonate with this label, and whether it's the right one. Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and author of High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to break down what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) really is, and what it isn’t. We’ll even hear directly from you about your complicated family dynamics and the impact on your mental health...2025-05-0735 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIntercultural Relationships: Love or Betrayal?Intercultural and interracial relationships can be rewarding, difficult, messy — or all of the above. In this episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli opens up about her love story as the first in her family to marry outside race, religion, and culture. We also hear deeply personal reflections from other children of immigrants who are navigating love, heartbreak, and identity across cultural and racial lines. Together, we confront hard truths — anti-Blackness, colorism, internalized racism, and community bias — while also celebrating the beauty of bridging and blending cultures. Sahaj will answer your questions on navigating the challenging (and awkward!) parts of dating, like introdu...2025-04-2338 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliBonus: Stop Telling Children of Immigrants to be AuthenticIn this bonus episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down “authenticity” and how harmful — albeit well-meaning — this term can be for children of immigrants and bicultural folks. Instead, she advises on a new way to think about authenticity and “being real” for those straddling and living between cultures. We also hear from one of you on how cultural code switching can feel divisive between the workplace and home due to gender norms. This is an example of bonus content that will live exclusively in the Substack community Culturally Enough throughout this season. ----more---- Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of t...2025-04-1605 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliOur Family Secrets: What We Hide and Why It MattersFamily secrets can feel like a form of protection, or a source of deep isolation. We uncover the hidden truths and taboos around relationships, health and trauma that shape our immigrant families. We’ll even hear directly from you about discovering family members aren’t biologically related to you, or having to keep child abuse secretive. Therapist and author of Break the Cycle, Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to unpack the emotional toll of family secrecy, explore if family secrets are a form of intergenerational trauma, and share how we can begin to heal. Find exclus...2025-04-0935 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliBetween Cultures: Are You Living A Double Life?Host and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli has lived a double life as the daughter of Indian immigrants. Like many of you, she grew up walking the line between family expectations, her own needs, and the world outside. Now, she’s an expert in bicultural identity, advice columnist, and published author of But What Will People Say? – and she’s here to help you. We uncover why living between cultures feels a lot like living a double life, and we hear your stories about keeping small things – like hanging out with friends – and big things – like being queer or struggling with alcoholi...2025-04-0938 min

So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIntroducing: So We've Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliDo you ever feel caught between the person you want to be and the person you’re expected to be? Do cultural expectations, family dynamics, and identity struggles leave you feeling torn? Do you feel like mainstream wellness messaging doesn’t quite speak to your unique experiences? Introducing, So We’ve Been Told, a bold, unapologetic podcast that explores the realities of living between cultures. Hosted by renowned therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli, this show unpacks the stories we've been told about wellness, relationships, and personal growth, and offers a refreshing perspective for those with multiple cultural identities. W...2025-03-2702 min

Bookshelfie: Women’s Prize PodcastBookshelfie: Shani Dhanda Broadcaster, disability inclusion and accessibility specialist, and social entrepreneur Shani Dhanda discusses the power of audiobooks, the importance of kindness and why accessibility benefits us all. Shani Dhanda is one of the UK's most influential disabled people, and was named Number 1 on The Shaw Trust’s Disability Power 100 List in 2023. Shani has been recognised with multiple honours and awards for her inclusion and activism work, including being named as one of the six most influential women in the new world of work, one of the most influential women in leadership, and a world-leading changemaker. She is one of the...2025-03-041h 01

My So-Called Midlife with Reshma SaujaniIt's Not Too Late to Break Generational Cycles with Sahaj Kaur KohliSahaj Kaur Kohli is going on her fourth father-daughter trip soon – something that she could never have imagined 10 years ago. And it’s something that Reshma definitely can’t imagine with her own father. Both daughters to immigrant parents, Reshma and Sahaj talk about how their unique upbringing has informed their senses of self. But Sahaj’s work as a therapist, journalist, and founder of Brown Girl Therapy isn’t limited to adult children of immigrants. She gives Reshma tools for setting boundaries, breaking generational cycles, and rebuilding adult relationships with our parents – things we can all use in our midlife...2025-01-2238 min

SASSpodMental Health in the South Asian community and beyondLalita du Perron talks to psychiatrist Apurva Bhatt about her Stanford clinic, meeting the needs of adolescents and children with mental health challenges, and attitudes towards mental health in the South Asian community. Intro and outro: Roslyn by Rishab Rikhiram Sharma, creator of Sitar for Mental Health. Many thanks for allowing us to use the music! Find out more at rishabsharma.com. Mental Health Resources:988 - mental health emergencyChild Mind Institute (childmind.org)Brown Girl Therapy/Sahaj Kaur Kohli (sahajkaurkohli.com)Rcoz.us 2025-01-2046 min $Don\'t Force It: How to Get into College without Losing Yourself in the Process$ Don't Force It: How to Get into College without Losing Yourself in the ProcessMental Health for Asian American StudentsHappy New Year! In this year’s first episode, I sit down with Chris, the Director of College Counseling at Stony Brook School, and Lisa, a high school counselor, to discuss the mental health challenges Asian American students face. We explore how early support and open conversations with parents can make a difference. Tune in to discover practical ways to support our students and create a healthier path forward.BioChris Loo has been working with young people for most of her career. For the last 13 years, she has been a college counselor. She is cu...2025-01-1628 min