Shows
Behind the Therapy DoorEpisode 15: The Illusion of ControlWhat is it we all want and can never attain long term? Control…that is why it is an illusion! Taking permanent control over life is like grabbing a fistfull of air…impossible! In this episode, we discuss the various ways different personality types try to maintain control to manage uncomfortable emotions. We unpack different strategies for leaning into the “Both/And” concept to work towards controlling the things we can in healthy ways, while also embracing flexibility of the unknown.theaffinityconsultants.com2025-07-1753 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 14: It’s not my fault…Who doesn’t love the ornery attitude and spontaneous creativity of a rebel mindset? People on the end of the angry blame game, that’s who! In this episode, we explore the pit-falls of phase distress in Rebel Type personalities. For those struggling with angry blame, tune in for some tips to explore patterns of self-doubt and inappropriate delegation, that can lead to self-sabotage via emotional escalation and avoidance. Learning how to confront healthy guilt via saying “I’m sorry” and delegating appropriately are the way out! For those who love these fiery and expressive souls, tune in to learn ways to h...2025-07-0642 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 13: Opposites Attract?Remember that old adage, “opposites attract?” Well what about “birds of a feather flock together?” There is truth to both of these famous phrases and in this episode, we unpack how to thrive in relationships with our polar opposites, as well as how to deepen connections with our dopplegangers. It is all about balancing strengths and needs in partnerships, celebrating differences, and finding commonalities, all which allows us to course correct miscommunication patterns and potential differences in attachment styles.theaffinityconsultants.com2025-06-2346 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 12: I’m Not Afraid, You’re AfraidTrust can be tricky, especially for Persister Type personalities in distress. Learning how to let others do their part, not feel responsibility for their success or failure, and confront our very real feelings of fear and mistrust can at times feel like wrestling an alligator in murky water. For some, it is easier to express anger and intense disapproval, but that just gets us more of the same…mistrust and conflict. Deliberately turning towards the fear and anxiety of not having things perfect is the remedy…sounds counter intuitive right? Well, tune in to today’s episode to learn how to un...2025-06-1631 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 11: Blindspots and Cognitive DistortionsBlindspots are everywhere and we all got ‘em! These cognitive distortions, which are irrational thoughts that shape our perceptions and emotions, often lurk below our conscious awareness and can wreak havoc on our self-worth and on our relationships. Good news is that we can grow our awareness of them, when we are engaging in them, and back out of them with proactive self-care and communication. Asking trusted partners, friends, family members, and colleagues to bring them to our attention can also be instrumental in helping us turn on the light and understand ourselves on a deeper and healthier level. Here’s...2025-06-0942 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 10: I'm Not AngryFor some, anger can be a debilitating or frightening experience that leads to conflict avoidance, anxiety, and sadness. For others, anger can be liberating and inspire change. We will all experience conflict many times in our lives, so we all need to learn how to recognize the signs of anger and develop healthy strategies for working with the emotion and communicating effectively through it. In the Process Communication Model world, Harmonizer Types inherently dislike feeling and expressing anger, which can often lead to Phase challenges and distress patterns that manifest in a cover up emotion of sadness and possible pas...2025-06-0247 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 9: Boundaries - No More EggshellsWho doesn’t like sandwiches? Figuring out where we begin and end in context with others can be a confusing at times. We certainly do not want to be a victim of codependency and base our self-worth solely off of others approval. We also do not want to be bulls in a china shop and assume everyone will accommodate us...how obnoxious! Learning to set healthy boundaries without walking on eggshells, facing our fears and walking the coals, and understanding how discomfort can serve as a motivator for change are all key. Stay tuned so that you can enhance your ab...2025-05-2643 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 8: Roots and WingsKids…you gotta love ‘em because you can’t punch' em! Just kidding…kids are the best and having the privilege of raising them is one of life’s greatest adventures! In today’s episode, we will explore the brain structure and normal development stages that kids go through, with a special emphasis on teenagers and young adults. Transitioning from parenting to coaching is the name of the game! The goal involves helping kids gain independence, confidence, and the emotional capacity to feel firmly rooted in their family and subsequently having the confidence to fly towards their autonomous goals and dreams as a...2025-05-1957 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 7: AttachmentWelcome to our nerd fest…Behind the Therapy Door! This episode is all about attachment theory, the 4 types of attachment and signs that indicate which one is most prominent within yourself, and how various personality types demonstrate attachment distress patterns. Attachment and the wiring of neural circuitry begins in utero and continues throughout the life span. Knowing how we are attached and ways to heal from more dysfunctional types of attachment can be empowering and relationally healing.theaffinityconsultants.com2025-05-1246 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 6: TraumaIn today’s episode of Behind the Therapy Door, we take a deep dive into the definition of trauma, both big and small, how trauma impacts the nervous system, and a variety of coping strategies for soothing the nervous system into a more regulated state. We name drop some pioneers in the field of trauma treatment and explore various treatment modalities including EMDR, Brainspotting, and Somatic Experiencing. Healing from trauma is an ever evolving process and we are here for it!theaffinityconsultants.com2025-05-0556 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 5: Naked and AfraidHey friends, welcome back to Behind the Therapy Door hosted by Sarah Thome and Matthew Gallagher. Today we will visit the process of starting therapy, finding a good therapist, and learning to tip toe into the depths of vulnerability. Learning how our defensive behaviors have served as emotional protection can assist us in better self-acceptance, the courage to change unhealthy behaviors, and willingness to stop sabotaging ourselves and our relationships. Though the healing process can be arduous, it is also liberating in gaining valuable insights.theaffinityconsultants.com2025-04-2846 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 4: Both/AndThanks for tuning in this week to Behind the Therapy Door hosted by Sarah Thome and Matthew Gallagher. In today’s episode, we will be discussing the communication power behind the concept of Both/And. This therapeutic concept helps us take perspective, be more open to compromise, be less defensive, and continue efforts towards differentiation and emotional regulation. Learning how to honor our own thoughts, opinions, and feelings while balancing that of others we might be in conflict with, disagree with, etc. empowers us to in a +/+ life position as often as possible, per Process Communication Model.theaf...2025-04-2147 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 3: So We're Going to Fight?Thanks for joining us this week Behind the Therapy Door hosted by Sarah Thome and Matthew Gallagher. In this episode, we will explore the many twists and turns of miscommunication, patterns of distress, and argumentation that often take place in even the healthiest of relationships. We will identify helpful tips and introduce the concept of Both/And, to assist in emotional regulation and differentiation, which are key ingredients for fair fighting and making up. theaffinityconsultants.com2025-04-1430 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 2: Communication - One Size Does Not Fit AllWelcome back to Behind the Therapy Door hosted by Sarah Thome and Matthew Gallagher. How boring would life be if everyone was the same and communicated in the same way? Though it would be predictable, it would also rob us of the ability to learn and grow by engaging with others who have different ideas and emotional temperaments. In this episode, we will share a helpful communication modality known as Process Communication Model and provide examples of the types of personality and the various communication patterns in all of us.theaffinityconsultants.com2025-04-0643 minBehind the Therapy DoorEpisode 1: Welcome to Behind the Therapy DoorWelcome to Behind the Therapy Door hosted by Sarah Thome and Matthew Gallagher, counseling therapists who offer candid descriptions of the therapeutic process, theories of personality, and self-help strategies to help you live your best life. Join us for a peek behind the therapy door.theaffinityconsultants.com2025-03-3131 min