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Sheryl Paul And Victoria Russell

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Gathering GoldGathering GoldMaking DecisionsIn contemporary society, we face more choices--and more decisions--than ever before. This can sometimes feel like a curse as much as it is also a blessing, especially for those of us struggle with indecisiveness.  In today's episode, we discuss mindsets around decision-making that can help us find more ease around the little decisions ("What should I order from the menu?") and the big decisions ("Should I quit my job?").  References: Dr. Russ Harris article about hard decisions Sheryl's next round of her course, "Trust Yourself," starting on May 17th The Healing Anxiety Workbook April’s Ga...2025-04-2553 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWhat Could Have BeenIn today's follow-up to the Escape Hatch Fantasies episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss the double-edged allure of ruminating on what could be? and what could have been?  They discuss the difference between a fantasy and a dream for the future, how to work with the energy of regret, and what we can learn from the film Past Lives (2023) about making space for longing, mystery, and acceptance in the face of our many life choices and experiences. 2025-04-1140 minGathering GoldGathering GoldEscape Hatch Fantasies (Re-Air)In preparation for our next episode, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: Escape Hatch Fantasies. Members of our Patreon can submit questions and reflections for our follow-up conversation about escape hatch fantasies at patreon.com/gatheringgold  * * * We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into t...2025-03-281h 03Gathering GoldGathering GoldA New Tool for Healing Anxiety"You can read and listen and learn for years, but unless you take actions that create more well-being, you will remain stuck. While accurate information is important and often transformative, it's the compassionate actions we take on our own behalf that create long-lasting, deep-rooted, sustainable change." In today's episode, we introduce a new tool for healing anxiety at the root: Sheryl's forthcoming publication, The Healing Anxiety Workbook.  Over decades of working with individuals struggling with anxiety, Sheryl has identified the pain points that most call out for our attention through the voice of anxiety: disconnection f...2025-03-1442 minGathering GoldGathering GoldResistance to Growing UpSome children and adolescents bound toward the future, excitedly proclaiming, "I can't wait to grow up!"  Others are a bit more unsure--some of us may resist growing up well into our 20s and beyond. Acts of resistance against adulthood can be big or small, noticeable or subtle. Even those who were excited to grow up in childhood may find that fears begin to dampen their enthusiasm as the reality of adult life sinks in. Where do these fears come from? What are some of the core beliefs and emotional experiences that can either hamper or p...2025-02-2835 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWhat Does It Mean to Grow Up?What does it mean to grow up? Is it about arriving at a destination at a specific time, after following the linear formula of job, marriage, house, baby? Or is it an ongoing process of development that happens both internally and externally, rippling through our inner world and shining forth in how we engage with the world? What does it mean to grow up on an emotional level? In this episode, we explore two internal pillars of adulthood that create a foundation for healthy development across the lifespan, and reflect on how building these pillars, brick by...2025-02-0735 minGathering GoldGathering GoldLiving in the Rhythm“Energy moves in waves. Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that, energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance.” --Gabrielle. Roth Our heartbeat. Our breath. Our steps along the sidewalk. Our life happens in rhythms--breath by breath, heartbeat by heartbeat, step by step. We move in and out of seasons, feel a shift in tempo as our energy levels ebb and flow, fall into connection and disconnection with those around us.  In today's episode, we are exploring what it means to "live in the rhythm" of life...2025-01-2454 minGathering GoldGathering GoldDark Night of the SoulSometimes, the month of January can start to feel like one long dark night.  Many of us step off the carousel of the holiday season feeling a little dizzy and off-kilter. Some of us might even feel a sense of darkness or despair as we thud back into harsh reality (and, in certain parts of the world, deep winter). We may be teetering between hope and despair; grief and gratitude; anger and acceptance. We may feel faith slipping between our fingers; we may find ourselves craving a good, long sleep. Maybe we’re in a dar...2025-01-1038 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWinter Solstice (Re-Air)In the spirit of the season, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: last year's episode about the Winter Solstice. We are also offering a special 15% off discount for any new Patreon sign-ups with code GOLD24 and are hosting a Winter Solstice gathering for the Meet-Up Members on Sunday, December 22, at 3 pm EST. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to learn more.  * * * We are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere. In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to a...2024-12-2058 minGathering GoldGathering GoldResistance to GratitudeWe all know that practicing gratitude is good for us: we've read news articles about groundbreaking research on the benefits of gratitude, purchased gratitude journals, maybe started incorporating gratitude practices into family dinners or even work meetings. So why is it still sometimes so hard to really feel and and experience gratitude in an authentic and enriching way? And what are some pathways to an open heart when our gratitude "motor" is cold? That's what we're unpacking in today's episode. ...And P.S.: We are so grateful for all of you, dear listeners! ...2024-12-0653 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Gift of PresenceLeaves are falling from the trees. The world is shifting into hues of gray and brown, into sparseness and clarity. Meanwhile, we are entering into the holiday season. Amidst it all--the darkness and the light, the fatigue and the excitement--how can we stay present for the gifts all around us? Not the gifts wrapped in paper and bows, but the little, everyday miracles: the maple tree still wrapped in orange and golden leaves; the comfort and safety of a heated home; the magic of sharing a meal with good friends.  In today's episode, Victoria shares r...2024-11-2225 minGathering GoldGathering GoldHow to Ground During Difficult Times"There are times of heightened fear. And there are times when there is a lot of fear in the greater collective, in the culture. And I do think that one of our ultimate tasks, one of our ultimate spiritual tasks as human beings, in these bodies, is to work with fear and its opposite, which is love, but also is trust." In today's episode, Sheryl shares wisdom about grounding ourselves during uncertain and anxious times and guides us through a practice of connecting to our hearts, our minds, and each other. 2024-11-0832 minGathering GoldGathering GoldConnecting with Ancestors“I can tell you the names of Taylor Swift’s parents, but not my great-grandparents.” Can you relate to Victoria’s admission in today’s episode? Many of us have lost connection with our ancestors. Or rather, that connection was severed even before we were born, by cultural conditions that de-prioritize relationships in general, and familial bonds in particular.  And: connecting to the unseen realm of ancestors goes beyond learning about our genealogy. We can draw strength and comfort from imaginal grandmothers, mythological archetypes, and even fictional characters that have helped shape us into who we...2024-10-2548 minGathering GoldGathering GoldManaging OverwhelmSometimes, it all feels like too much: too much responsibility, too many expectations, too much sensation, too many feelings, too much hyper-vigilance. In these moments, we can be enveloped by a feeling of overwhelm. Sometimes, things really are just too much. Some things needs to give. Systems need to change. And, sometimes we pause for a moment to scan our inner world and find that certain mindsets, storylines, and habitual patterns are exacerbating or even creating the sense of overwhelm. Perhaps there is an emotional undercurrent of turmoil related to past trauma, family patterns, or...2024-10-1158 minGathering GoldGathering GoldRooting into AutumnMeaning making. Connecting to breath. Aligning with nature. So many actions, big and small, can help us dig a little deeper into the soil of time, anchor ourselves against the buffeting winds of change and demands, especially as we shift into a new season.   We recorded this conversation in front of a live virtual audience of Patreon community members, opening up the second half of the episode for group discussion on the topic of rooting into autumn.  We are so grateful to the insightful, compassionate members who added their wisdom about steadying ourselves amidst the bus...2024-09-2754 minGathering GoldGathering GoldResistance to Inner WorkWe often resist doing things that we know are good for us—including inner work. We attend one therapy session and then stop showing up. We drag our heels on the way to yoga class. We let our journal grow dusty in the corner. Our resistance to change and to effort gets the best of our intention to grow. Today, we are exploring some of the voices and characters of resistance—including the inner child, inner teenager, and Wise Self—as well as the hidden benefits within resistance. How can we work with the energy of digging in our...2024-09-1343 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Fear of Taking RisksBy nature or nurture, or some combination of the two, some of us are chronically risk averse–especially if we struggle with anxiety. While some cautiousness can be healthy, extreme risk aversion can keep us from engaging with the world deeply, living our values, and just plain enjoying life. By taking risks, we learn more about ourselves and the world. And by learning more about ourselves and the world, we learn how to take more intentional, skillful, and enriching risks.  In today’s episode, we explore some of the inner templates that make it challenging for u...2024-08-3045 minGathering GoldGathering GoldLiving IRLOur relationship with screens, digital devices, and online media is complicated. We can gain so much valuable information and connection in a more accessible way, but we can also get sucked into a vortex of information overload, analysis paralysis, social comparison, and doom scrolling.  In today's episode, we discuss using our devices as tools to help us engage more deeply with the world, not as substitutes for living. We also discuss some of the blocks and obstacles that make it difficult to disengage with with online world: discomfort, awkwardness, and fear, to name a few. And we t...2024-08-1637 minGathering GoldGathering GoldAdding Good ThingsIn our last episode, we talked about why it can be hard to receive good things. Today, we are discussing the importance of actively adding good things to our lives.  It can be easy to focus on all of the problems, challenges, and hardships we are facing, and to assume that if we could just remove those, then we could experience a greater sense of wellbeing. And while there are certainly times to focus on removal of things that are hurting us, there is also great power in pouring our attention into adding goodness: adding more fruits a...2024-08-0233 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWhy It's Hard to Receive Good ThingsToday’s episode was requested by one of our lovely Patreon members, who asked us to talk about why it can be hard to receive good things, and how to do so with more ease. In this conversation, we discuss some of the stumbling blocks to the unfettered gratitude that we desire: blocks including guilt, shame, fear, and distrust. And, we discuss how we can orient ourselves towards more receptivity, reciprocity, courage, and openheartedness. References: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) Robin Wall Kimmerer’s upcoming book, The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the...2024-07-1954 minGathering GoldGathering GoldTHRESHOLDS: Panic AttacksWe continue our deep dive into themes from Sheryl’s new audio collection Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife, with an exploration of the terrifying undertow of panic attacks.  Sheryl shares how panic attacks have grabbed her in the ocean, in elevators, while driving, and at nightfall. She introduces the Greek mythological Pan, and gives us a sneak peek into how she befriended the god of pandemonium, which she unpacks in more depth in Thresholds.  We talk about the subtle shades of light and shadow that can evoke panic, and the roots of trauma from which panic may...2024-07-051h 02Gathering GoldGathering GoldSummer SolsticeSheryl and Victoria take a pause from exploring themes of Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife, in order to honor the Summer Solstice.  Sheryl explains why it is so important to honor these season portals, and receive their goodness. Sheryl and Victoria reflect on their previous episode about Summer from three years ago, and discuss why Sheryl was so focused on loss, nostalgia, and grief at that time. Victoria unpacks how she has grown stronger in using her voice since that episode aired. Together, Sheryl and Victoria lean into the joyful, abundant, and juicy invitations of summer, w...2024-06-2054 minGathering GoldGathering GoldTHRESHOLDS: ParentingSheryl has entered a new era in her parenting life: an era of letting go. Today’s episode continues a series exploring themes from Sheryl’s new audiobook, Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife, with a conversation about parenting. As Sheryl’s sons have grown into teenagers, and one has flown the nest (…literally!), Sheryl has welcomed grief, gratitude, and new beginnings.  Offering personal stories about some of the hardest and most joyful moments in her midlife parenting journey, Sheryl reminds parents to turn towards trust—trust in their children, in Mother Earth, and in life’s unfolding. 2024-06-0758 minGathering GoldGathering GoldTHRESHOLDS: Midlife MagicToday, we're announcing an exciting new offering from Sheryl: a beautiful audiobook entitled Thresholds: Reflections at Midlife, which will be available next month!  In today's episode, we share sneak peeks and talk about the seeds of inspiration for this compendium of dreams, poems, stories, and reflections. We discuss myths about midlife, a major decision that Sheryl faced about the direction of her work, and themes of visibility, vitality, self-trust, and leaning into a more feminine way.  References: The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant Circle of Stones, by Judith Duerk 2024-05-241h 00Gathering GoldGathering GoldRupture and RepairRupture and repair. Rupture and repair. Rupture and repair.  This is the rhythm of all close relationships—even the relationship between Sheryl and Victoria, as we discuss (gingerly, with care) in today’s episode. In any relationship, if we get close enough, we will eventually experience a rupture. We make mistakes, we let each other down, we hurt, and then, with courage, self-awareness, and a foundation of love, we can heal.  Yet it is no small task to skillfully traverse ruptures and repairs. As Sheryl explains in today’s episode, “we become de-sensitized to the exp...2024-05-101h 08Gathering GoldGathering GoldTrue WildThe wild has been banished, pushed to the edges of civilization, pushed to the edges of psyche. Wolves and coyotes, bears and bobcats, rage and sexuality and messiness and imperfection have all been relegated to the outskirts. We long for wildness. We long for freedom and aliveness, creativity and authenticity.  And yet, we might also fear wildness—the way it can control us. The way we can burn others and be burned by it. How do we get in touch with our wild parts, and integrate them with the rest of us? How do...2024-04-1959 minGathering GoldGathering GoldFertility AnxietyIn today’s episode, we hear a very special guest’s story of managing fertility anxiety while trying to conceive for many months. Sarah shares her experience of desperately wanting to get pregnant and deeply fearing it would never happen. Along the way, we discuss finding supportive healthcare providers, learning to navigate sex when trying to conceive, meeting our own or our partner’s ambivalence about parenthood, and more. Sarah Koestner is a transformational life coach who was a beloved moderator on Sheryl’s online forum for many years. You can learn mare about her and her...2024-04-051h 04Gathering GoldGathering GoldThe Edge of SpringIn today's episode, Sheryl reflects on the liminal time between winter and spring, and the way that this season emphasizes a certain truth about life: that joy and grief are intimately, irrevocably connected. That we experience not grief, then joy, not life, then death, but all of it, together, always.  "We think linearly--but maybe, that's not how time, and grief, and memory co-exist. And it's spring that reveals these cross-sections." References: Sheryl's blog post "Fear Distorts Perception"   2024-03-2218 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSpring EquinoxThe spring equinox is a moment of symmetry and balance; the sun sits exactly above the equator, and we experience an equal amount of daylight and darkness. In today’s episode, Sheryl shares her thoughts on the spiritual experience of symmetry, and how fractals in nature convince her that this world is one of not only chaos, but also order—and why that matters so much to highly sensitive people. We also discuss the yin and yang nature of seasons, the beauty in asymmetry, and how a healthy relationship with rituals and repetition can help us f...2024-03-0843 minGathering GoldGathering GoldTrauma Collisions in RelationshipsToday’s episode was inspired by a recent post that Sheryl shared on Instagram about trauma collisions in longterm relationships. In this conversation, we explore what trauma collisions are (and are not), how they differ from arguments, and how we can become more mindful and skillful in responding to them.  Sheryl underscores the role of self-awareness in uncovering the understory of a trauma collision, finding compassion for ourselves and our partners, and creating new, healthier patterns.  We discuss demon dances, childhood wounds, and the core human longing for both separateness and intimacy. R...2024-02-1650 minGathering GoldGathering GoldIrritation in RelationshipsYou just sat down with a cup of tea and a good book. You’re deeply invested in the plot and sinking into glorious alone time, when suddenly, you hear footsteps. Your partner appears in the room.  “What’s for dinner?” they ask.  Your entire body is instantly flooded with one feeling: irritation.  It’s a feeling that we all have from time to time, including with the people we love most in the world: our partners, family members, and friends. And yet, we can easily feel jolted by irritation or annoyance. “Oh no,” we might s...2024-02-0249 minGathering GoldGathering GoldJanuary: The God of the DoorwayThe month of January is named after the Roman god Janus: the god of the doorway. Janus was said to have two faces: one looking ahead, and one looking behind.  We are now in the liminal month of January, moving between two years and looking forward and backward just like Janus. In today's episode, Sheryl encourages us to meet this liminality with curiosity and compassion. Though we may feel off-kilter and groundless, though we may be full of questions, there is gold to gather in this month of doorways. What doorways might you meet this m...2024-01-1942 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSacred SexualityIn today’s episode, we return gently to sacred ground: the ground of our sexuality.  Last January, we explored what it means to own our sexual sovereignty through reclaiming our right and ability to say no. Today, we begin uncovering our inherent yes, which was likely shamed early in our lives. Sheryl encourages us to gently orient ourselves back towards our innate curiosity, belief in our own goodness, and appreciation for our bodies and beauty. We embrace the power of sharing stories of early sexual exploration, as participants of Sheryl’s Sacred Sexuality course do throu...2024-01-0557 minGathering GoldGathering GoldFairy Tales by the Fireside with Daev FinnIn this special episode, Sheryl's husband Daev Finn joins the show to continue our seasonal exploration of wintry themes. A psychotherapist who uses the metaphor of myth and fairy tales in his work, Daev offers his perspective on the Brothers Grimm telling of "Briar Rose" (otherwise known as "Sleeping Beauty"). Daev, Sheryl, and Victoria read the tale aloud, then share their reflections on themes of slumber, sexuality, growing up, and banishment. Daev offers perspective on the history of myths and fairytales and their problematic parts, Sheryl reflects on the treatment of powerful women in patriarchal narratives, and...2023-12-2259 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWinter SolsticeWe are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere. In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to anchor ourselves in time and find communion with the luminous dark. How might we celebrate the triumph of light, the gift of the sun, while also welcoming the wisdom of darkness? How might we balance the need to rest and turn inward with the need to brave the cold, to go out into the world? How can we cultivate peace within ourselves in the face...2023-12-0857 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSocial AnxietyWe all know the feeling: jitters before a birthday party. Melting into the wall during a wedding reception. Obsessing over that awkward hug you gave at the potluck. Everyone has their moments of social anxiety, but some of us suffer with it more chronically, perhaps managing a mixture of avoidance and overcompensation. We might worry that we are too quiet or too loud, too boring or too obnoxious—somehow just not right. Our fear of others’ judgment interweaves with our own harsh inner critic.  While humans are apt to underestimate how much people like us, we al...2023-11-1752 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWork and Career AnxietyHighly sensitive people bring many gifts to work, and we also face unique challenges—including a persistent longing to bridge the gap between our ideals and the reality of our work life. Whether we are full-time caregivers, lawyers, teachers, baristas, artists, or project managers, we might wonder: am I on the right path? Do I belong in this field? Might the grass be greener somewhere else? We have also been conditioned to believe that our work, our career, is a reflection of our worthiness. This can keep us stuck in a myriad of ways: we mi...2023-11-0351 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Witching HourThe witching hour: a time in the middle of the night when we sometimes wake from a potent dream or nightmare, eyes wide in the darkness, heart and body filled with something--fear or grief, regret or restlessness, poems or prayers. In today's episode, we discuss this mysterious portal and how we might find gold glittering in the darkest hours before dawn. References: “Dedicated to the One I Love,” by the Mamas and the Papas Britannica definition of “Witching Hour” Wise Child, by Monica Furlong  Dreamworker Jeremy Taylor Sheryl’s blog posts about "The Witching Hour," with...2023-10-201h 04Gathering GoldGathering GoldSheryl’s Conscious TransitionIn today’s special episode, Sheryl shares her story of navigating a major transition over the past year: ushering her eldest son out of the nest and into college far from home.   Sheryl shares passages from her journal that detail how she rode the waves of grief, reached for support, and found relief after bringing Everest to school and adjusting to home life without him.   And, she and Victoria discuss some of the pillars that hold up highly sensitive people during the micro and momentous transitions throughout life.   Re...2023-10-0657 minGathering GoldGathering GoldGolden Nugget Minisode - Olivia’s UpdateWe hope you enjoy today's "Golden Nugget" mini-episode! We're sharing a voicemail from our lovely listener Olivia, who asked the question that inspired our episode Expectations, Emotions, and Very Big Days. Listen in to hear what happened for Olivia and her partner after she submitted her question, listened to the episode, and sat with the uncertainty of how to approach her wedding day and marriage anxieties. Visit our Patreon to learn more about submitting voicemails and enjoying future Golden Nugget mini-sodes: www.patreon.com/gatheringgold 2023-09-2908 minGathering GoldGathering GoldHealing ShameMany of us feed our shame with the very food that makes it grow: criticism and cruelty that inspires deeper disconnection and despair. We think that we can control and punish ourselves into perfection, that we can banish our exiled parts into the shadowlands and transcend hurt and vulnerability. And yet, if we take the risk to feed our shame with love, acceptance, and compassion, we will see what’s underneath: a young, soft part of ourselves who is here to help us heal. How do we find that love and compassion and heal our sh...2023-09-151h 00Gathering GoldGathering GoldThe Cloak of ShameEveryone feels shame at one time or another. For some of us, shame is an occasional or even rare experience. It’s an awful feeling, but manageable. For others, shame is a state that we are particularly prone to; our shame gets activated quickly and intensely. We might even walk around in a haze of free-floating shame, inhaling it with the air we breathe.  In today’s episode, Sheryl and Victoria explore shame and some of its shifting forms: shame as a creature of the dark that hides out in our innermost places, that...2023-09-0149 minGathering GoldGathering GoldExpectations, Emotions and Very Big Days (from Patreon)Today's episode is from the Gathering Gold Patreon Bonus Episode vault! Sheryl and Victoria address a question from Olivia, who is considering marriage with her partner. Olivia's family expects a big wedding, but she dreads being the center of attention. Also...she has some fears about making this forever commitment. Though Olivia's question is about marriage, the themes in this episode will resonate with anyone currently facing a big transition, like Sheryl and Victoria: right now, Sheryl is preparing to bring her eldest son to college for the first time, and Victoria is wrapping up her last...2023-08-1834 minGathering GoldGathering GoldEffort and EaseEverything we do requires some effort. We wake up in the morning, and from that point forward, we exert effort, starting with getting out of bed and brushing our teeth. In our society, it is easy to think of effort as synonymous with drudgery, exhaustion, and an attitude of "never enough." Because of this, we also have a complicated relationship with ease: we struggle to rest, and to trust ease. We often stumble from overexertion into numbing out. Humans seem to be happiest when we find a flow between effort and ease, a satisfactory relationship...2023-08-0459 minGathering GoldGathering GoldGrowing Up and Knowing OurselvesIn today’s solo episode, Victoria responds to Patreon Community questions about resistance to growing up and learning to connect to our wants, needs, and values. Sharing anecdotes from her life, she reflects on core fears and beliefs inside the aversion to responsibility and adulthood, and discusses gentle approaches to examining the invitations inside our existential anxieties. She also shares approaches to developing a stronger relationship with ourselves, even when we feel very disconnected, and to making decisions while holding space for ambivalence. References: Perennials Podcast The four givens of existential psychotherapy Se...2023-07-2145 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Good Girl and the Inner TeenagerYou may be familiar with the inner child and the inner adult, but when was the last time you thought about your inner teenager? In today’s episode, we’re exploring what qualities this often-forgotten inner part brings to the table. And, we’re exploring why those of us who grew up trying to embody the “good girl” might have struggled to fully tap into the potential of our inner teenager. The characters are seemingly at odds: as Sheryl explains, if the good girl is all about saying yes, the inner teenager is all about saying no. But...2023-07-0754 minGathering GoldGathering GoldBreaking the Worry HabitStudies suggest that about 85% of what we worry about never happens. And yet, for many of us, worrying is a way of life. It is our go-to response when we face uncertainty or perceive a threat to something or someone we care about deeply.  In today’s episode, Sheryl shares personal reflections on her relationship to worry as her eldest son Everest embarks on the hardest challenge he has ever faced. She has a thousand reasons to worry, but an even more important reason to break the habit, and tap into another way of expressing her...2023-06-2258 minGathering GoldGathering GoldCreativityThere are all sorts of blocks that get in the way of us connecting to our creativity, our life force. There’s the inner critic, and then there are the outer critics. There’s perfectionism, and the fear that “it’s all been done before.” There’s the despair of "not enough," and the ache of lacking inspiration. Even after we’ve bushwhacked our way through the thickets of inner resistance to actually create something, we often prick ourselves on thorny choices around sharing what we’ve made. How do we know when it’s time to share, or...2023-06-091h 04Gathering GoldGathering GoldExploring the Depths of OCD with Stuart RalphWe are honored to bring you a conversation with Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast.  Stuart founded The OCD Stories podcast in 2015 to improve the lives of those with OCD. He holds a masters degree in psychological therapies from the University of London, Queen Mary and a masters degree in integrative child and adolescent counselling and psychotherapy from the University of Roehampton. He works in private practice as a child and adolescent counsellor and psychotherapist in the UK.  In this episode, Stuart graciously shares his personal experiences with OCD, from his first childhood intr...2023-05-251h 00Gathering GoldGathering GoldAlivenessCan we find a sense of aliveness rooted in our everyday lives? Does the magic of life disappear as we age? How do we take responsibility for our own aliveness? In today’s episode, we are exploring all these questions and more to get at the heart of what it means to live fully and deeply, swimming in a sea of fear, courage, and connection.  When we stop taking risks, aliveness shrinks.  When we ignore hard feelings, aliveness suffers. When we hide from the world, aliveness is elus...2023-05-1252 minGathering GoldGathering GoldStories We Tell OurselvesWe tell ourselves stories all the time, often stories with roots in fear and protection:   "I’m not smart enough." "They’re mad at me." "I’ll never be able to…" (fill in the blank)   The stories can become so engrained in us, and occur to us so quickly, that we often forget to stop and think about where they come from, and whether they are still, or ever were, really true. Might there be another interpretation that is equally true, more true, or simply more helpful? In...2023-04-2143 minGathering GoldGathering GoldGrieving Unlived LivesThere are times in our lives, especially around transitions, when we might wonder: what if? What if I had done things differently back then, or if circumstances been different? Would I suffer less now? And what about the future — what about all the paths that I can’t take? How do I honor them, let them go, and keep moving forward? In today’s episode, Sheryl explains why and how to grieve unlived lives: the ones behind us and ahead of us, the ones that we turned away from by choice, and the ones that were barred to us...2023-04-071h 04Gathering GoldGathering GoldRedefining AttractionWe begin this episode about attraction by uncovering some core beliefs that get embedded into us at an early age — as early as childhood, when we watch classic cartoons featuring smitten characters with bulging heart eyes, salivating mouths, and hearts thumping out of their chests. As we grow up, we see these depictions of attraction replicated in all types of media, glamorizing first sight, instantaneous chemical reactions between people, woven into a culture that often focuses on the superficial, on what we see at skin level.  Today, we’re talking about what it means to exper...2023-03-1759 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Myth of Effortless Self-CareYou know how to take care of yourself, right? It's simple and easy. Just eat healthy, exercise, get the perfect amount and type of sleep every night, find meaningful work that pays you fairly and doesn't overwork you, spend lots of time cultivating strong relationships, but don't forget your relationship with yourself, go to therapy, be an active part of your community, grow a garden and make yourself a fresh green smoothie every morning-- Okay. So maybe not so simple. The term "self-care" has gotten more and more infused into our everyday lexicon, and yet...2023-03-0352 minGathering GoldGathering GoldRelationship Anxiety: Katie’s StoryToday, we are finally addressing a topic that has been the pathway to Sheryl’s work for so many of her clients and course members: relationship anxiety. In this episode, we’re talking to Katie, asking her to share her story in the same style as the popular course member interviews included at the end of the Break Free from Relationship Anxiety course.  Katie describes her relationship patterns before finding Sheryl’s course: how she would always run as soon as she thought someone might get hurt, how she thought that a relationship needed to start w...2023-02-171h 08Gathering GoldGathering GoldAnticipatory AnxietyYou probably know the feeling: it’s the pit of dread in your stomach every time you see a particular date on the calendar, and you know exactly what’s happening on that day. The plane trip. The presentation at work. The dentist appointment. If your dread is strong enough, you might find it date consumes your thoughts. You're distracted even during enjoyable activities, worrying about the outcome of this looming event. What if the plane crashes? What if you get fired? What if the dentist drills the wrong tooth?! This line of thinking has a na...2023-02-0352 minGathering GoldGathering GoldConnective Parenting with Michelle KenneyWe were thrilled to speak with Michelle Kenney, a parenting coach who has helped thousands of parents stop using punishments and yelling and learn kind limits.  In today’s episode, Michelle shares her journey to connective parenting, and how she learned to be empathetic and playful with her own strong willed child.  In this conversation, we talk about perfectionism in parenting and navigating differences in parenting styles with family, other caregivers, and even one’s partner. Michelle describes how techniques like “special time” and listening partners can make all the difference for those who want to reconst...2023-01-2058 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSexual SovereigntyOur bodies know when we want to be touched, and when we don’t want to be touched. Desire and agency simmer in our throats, ready to emerge as “Yes” or “No,” to protect our sovereignty over our own bodies and sexuality. But centuries of patriarchy and violations in our personal histories may have disconnected us from the channel of our desire, and the agency of our voice.  In today’s episode, we explore how “yes” and “no” in the sexual realm are intimately and irrevocably intertwined.  We linger on re-learning our right to say “no,” for, as Sheryl reminds us, ther...2023-01-0659 minGathering GoldGathering GoldArtifacts of the HeartIn a society (and a holiday season) often focused on consumerism, we can sometimes forget to treasure the special objects in our lives—things handmade or heartfelt, infused with prayers and dreams, memories and love, that we hold as totems while traversing our daily lives and rituals.  In our last episode, Sheryl spoke about some "artifacts of the heart" that she took with her when evacuating under threat of a flood. In this episode, we turn our attention with reverence to some more of our most sacred objects. A pendant, a scarf, a candle holder, a guitar: eac...2022-12-1650 minGathering GoldGathering GoldDarkness & LightThere are different kinds of darkness.  Sometimes we head out into darkness to go on a journey—there might be fear or nervousness, but also excitement and curiosity. What glittering stars might guide our way? What might we see once our eyes adjust?  Then there is the type of darkness that envelops us when we experience a dark night of the soul, the kind that might, if we’re lucky, be part of some mysterious transformation or initiation.  And then there is the darkness that appears when the greatest horrors of the world show th...2022-12-0250 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThere Is Another Way“We are tired, exhausted. We know that there’s a better way, a more humane way, a more balanced way. We’re not sure what that looks like yet, but we know that it’s possible.” In today’s episode, Sheryl reflects on her bodily knowing that there must be another way to do life, one that is more balanced than what we’ve grown accustomed to: rushing, competing, depleted, disconnected. We may be accustomed, but we are not adjusted. We are collectively exhausted and yearning.  Sheryl shares how making the Gathering Gold podcast has helped her lean...2022-11-1821 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSelf-Trust, Grief and the BodyDue to a family emergency, Victoria wasn’t able to record with me this week (I share more about this in the episode), so I had to harness my self-trust and fly solo. I watched self-doubt peer in from the wings, and I utilized the skills that I teach to make room for the doubt and also become curious about what might be living underneath it. Through this process, I invite you to join me as we create a sacred space for whatever grief you may be carrying. I then talk about how caring about what random ot...2022-11-0433 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWhen We Mess UpRecently, we've had episodes about purity, perfectionism, and what it means to be (or not to be!) "good." We've emphasized again and again that no one is perfect, that we are all messy human beings with flaws, who make mistakes. In today's episode, we are getting a bit more specific about what it means to be imperfect: we are sharing stories of recent times when we have messed up, what those mess-ups felt like for us, and how we worked through them. From dead houseplants and near-accidents to (very large) impulsive purchases, we're talking about the shame...2022-10-1849 minGathering GoldGathering GoldYou Do Not Have to Be GoodIn today’s episode, we're wrestling and dancing with Mary Oliver’s beloved poem “Wild Geese,” starting with its bold opening line: “You do not have to be good.”  We consider questions like: What if being “good” has been a key part of our identity for years? What does it mean to not be good? Is it an excuse to be selfish?  And what does it mean to “let the soft animal of your body love what it loves”? What might that have to do with self-trust and finding our own voice? ...And what if we are the wil...2022-09-3054 minGathering GoldGathering GoldPurity and PerfectionismWe start today’s episode with a story from Sheryl about how getting covid brought up the voices of purity and perfectionism in her—cold, scolding, cruel voices. Sheryl shares how she worked through these voices with the help of a compassionate friend and dialoguing in her journal. Victoria reflects on her fear of contamination, reckons with trying to play God, feels the pressure of perfectionism in her body, and sheds tears. Sheryl describes her spiritual perspective on facing our fallibility and offers a ritual for release. And, she shares a meditation on what it feel...2022-09-171h 05Gathering GoldGathering GoldThe Fear of Death with Chaplain J.S. ParkIn today's episode, we welcome a special guest, J.S. Park, to talk with us about that most primal human fear, the fear of death. And, we talk about the "lost language" of grief, and some of the historical roots of how and why we lost it. As a hospital chaplain, J.S. Park offers grief counseling and end-of-life care among his many duties. We spoke with him about how this role has shaped the way that he views life and death. He shares a story of vulnerability, presence, and wonder, of living deeply into the fullness...2022-09-021h 10Gathering GoldGathering GoldThe Power of the PauseIn today’s episode, we are talking about a simple, yet powerful tool we all can use as we seek to live from more wisdom and less reactivity: the ability to pause. Whether we are arguing with our partner, greeting a loved one as they enter the house, or moving from one task to the next, incorporating a pause can help us to shift our energy, practice gratitude, and remember who we really are and how we want to be. Sheryl and Victoria take a one-minute pause in the middle of the episode (and invite you to as...2022-08-1249 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Hidden Gifts in Slowing DownIn today’s episode, you’ll hear us speaking more slowly, pausing longer, listening more closely. That’s because we wanted to approach the subject of slowing down, and we didn’t want to just talk about it. We wanted to do it.  We invite you to join us as we float down the slow-moving river of conversation today. Notice as you listen what arises in your mind and heart, what happens to your nervous system, your body, your thoughts. Do you catch a deeper breath than you’ve gotten all day? Do you find a quiet spot in you...2022-07-291h 01Gathering GoldGathering GoldDeep ConversationsHave you ever wished that you could join the conversations that you hear in podcasts? Do you find yourself longing for deeper conversations with people you meet in your daily life? In today’s episode, we’re responding to a question from Monique, a member of our Patreon community: “How do you go about having deeper conversations when not everyone wants or is in the head space to have them, or they find deep conversations uncomfortable?” Sheryl and Victoria explore what we really mean when we say "deep conversations," conditions that help us reach more depth, a...2022-07-1550 minGathering GoldGathering GoldDream WorkDreams: they comfort us and terrify us, send us into flights of fantasy and doubt, connect us to our aliveness and ancestors. They are potent portals, bridges into another realm. And yet, we often forget dreams, dismiss them, or even try to avoid them. We fear the unknown: what will they reveal to us? What might we discover? What might we have to face in them? In today’s episode, we talk about meeting dreams with curiosity, openness and even playfulness, so that we can tap into their gold. Sheryl shares her view of dreams as metaphor, an...2022-07-0153 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Father WoundToday's episode features a very special guest: Daev Finn, Sheryl's beloved husband (and Victoria's uncle!) Daev is an artist/psychotherapist and former visual effects artist, and recent graduate of Depth psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. In today's episode, Daev talks about the father wound, relationships between fathers and sons, and his experience fathering two highly sensitive sons. He explores myths and stories that illuminate this topic, and discusses how fathers and "fairy godfathers" can help guide boys towards more vulnerability, connection to emotions, and connection to self.  You can find out more about D...2022-06-1753 minGathering GoldGathering GoldWorld PainIn today’s episode, we’re talking about responding to the pain in our hearts and around the world when we turn on the news and see yet another horrific tragedy, like the recent shootings in Buffalo, New York and Uvalde, Texas. How do we keep our hearts open? How do we allow ourselves to lament, and meet our grief and rage, all while continuing to tend to the mundane tasks of our daily lives? How do we know whether we are doing enough to show up for the world in all its pain?  We bring the words...2022-06-0344 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSeparation AnxietySeparation anxiety can feel like a scream from the soul, like love choking on its own breath. It springs from a variety of sources, both genetic and environmental, and often thrives in a mixture of deep love, profound fear of loss, an exaggerated sense of threat, and an underestimation of our own competence. Separation anxiety calls for individuation, for leaning upon an inner parent, as well as social and even spiritual connection.  In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria explore their own stories of separation anxiety from their earliest memories, and Sheryl shares her son's recent triumph in t...2022-05-2156 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Mother Wound"Your children are not your children They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself They come through you but not from you And though they are with you yet they belong not to you..." -- from "On Children" by Khalil Gibran   In today's episode, we explore the mother wound in its tender, painful, personal, and collective layers. Sheryl shares her gentle approach to exploring this wound, which includes compassion for the generations of mothers wounded by the patriarchy and embrace of "good enough" mothering. She offers a d...2022-05-0646 minGathering GoldGathering GoldAsk Us AnythingWe are so happy to celebrate one year of Gathering Gold with a special "Ask Us Anything" episode. Thank you to all of the listeners who sent in so many fantastic questions -- we wish we could have answered each and every one! In today's episode, you'll hear some reflections on grief, relationship anxiety/anxiety about becoming a parent, explaining (or not explaining) high sensitivity, and of course...our favorite Taylor Swift songs. We'll be answering more listener questions in upcoming Patreon bonus episodes. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to sign up.  2022-04-2255 minGathering GoldGathering GoldNews & InvitationsWe begin this episode with a little story about the podcast episode we had planned to share today, and why we just couldn't make it work. And, we share the solution that arrived when we took a step back and allowed ourselves to try again.   Today's shorter-than-originally-planned episode also features a few important podcast announcements and invitations as we come upon the one year anniversary of the start of Gathering Gold. Thank you for listening!    References: Registration for Sheryl's Break Free from Relationship Anxiety Course https://www.patreon.com/gatheringgold  2022-04-0820 minGathering GoldGathering GoldBittersweet SpringAs we move out of winter and into spring, we are taking time to reflect on this seasonal transition in all of its bittersweetness. Sheryl begins by sharing a reflection on the feelings she is noticing inside of her as spring beckons: not only joy and aliveness, but also sadness and longing.  In today’s episode, we reflect on the ways in which spring’s fleeting, fragile, and abundantly beautiful nature can usher in heady feelings of in-love-ness, fears around intertwined endings and beginnings, anxiety about unfulfilled potential, and fear of missing out on life’s seasonal blossom...2022-03-2557 minGathering GoldGathering GoldDark Shadow, Bright ShadowIn today’s episode, we’re taking a dip into the shadow lands, and exploring what we mean when we talk about “our shadow” in the realm of human psychology. Sheryl and Victoria share a few traits that they’ve become aware of in their own shadows, and discuss the interplay of shadow and persona and how both benefit from attention and curiosity. Sheryl explains how we can channel shadow characters in healthy ways and learn to see the golden or bright shadow in ourselves, rather than only projecting it onto others.    References: A Little Book...2022-03-111h 01Gathering GoldGathering GoldThe Passage of TimeThe passage of time: we all feel it, but highly sensitive people seem to feel it that much more acutely, and often from a very young age. In today's episode, Sheryl shares how she has been feeling the passage of time more strongly as her youngest son nears the age of 18 and begins preparing for college, and how she meets "sweet grief" when it arises. Victoria shares how she often tried to stop or stall the process of growing up throughout her younger years because of this early and sharp awareness of time passing.  We discuss the s...2022-02-2559 minGathering GoldGathering GoldEscape Hatch FantasiesWe all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into the sunset with them—even though you know you don't really want that in reality. Our imaginations and dreams are beautiful things, and yet sometimes, we find ourselves fixating on a certain escape hatch that we wish could magically deliver us to a version of life wi...2022-02-1159 minGathering GoldGathering GoldDropping Into Your BodyYou've probably heard the phrase "drop into your body" many times before--even from Sheryl. If this phrase brings up an automatic reaction of fear, frustration, or drawing a blank, you are not alone. In today's episode, we are discussing some of the reasons that we might have blocked off awareness of our body or connection to our emotions early on, and why we might now be afraid or frustrated when we try to reconnect.  Sheryl and Victoria discuss some of the fearful thoughts that arise around "What might my body tell me about my truth?" Sheryl expands u...2022-01-281h 11Gathering GoldGathering GoldCOVID and the Highly Sensitive PersonIf you’re sick of hearing about COVID, we understand. This episode is about just a few themes that are being highlighted for many highly sensitive people in their internal landscapes during the pandemic: anguish over an inflated sense of responsibility; health anxiety; and struggles in relationship.  For many HSPs, it can be difficult to walk the line between doing the necessary diligent work to protect our loved ones and the greater collective, and finding the limit of what we can actually control. Sheryl unpacks some of the layers underneath a sense of being overly-responsible (not just in...2022-01-161h 25Gathering GoldGathering GoldWinter‘s ParadoxWinter is a season of contrasts. In the long dark nights, candles burn more brightly. Amidst the cold, we find ways to generate heat. And in the spaciousness and emptiness, we make room for new birth.  In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss winter as a time of paradox: a season of the elder and of the child, of quiet reflection and raucous play, turning inward and pushing ourselves out. A feminine season, ripe for mythology and rich with ferocity, warmth, destruction and creation.  We delve into a season that is not easy, but offers it...2021-12-231h 04Gathering GoldGathering GoldSpiritual LongingIn today’s episode, we’re talking about spiritual longing: longing for connection to God, to mystery, to something greater than our individual selves. We explore some of the obstacles and questions that arise around spirituality: Do I need belief to be spiritual? Is my partner wrong for me if I’m on a spiritual path and they’re not? How do I pray when I’m afraid of what God might ask me to do? Victoria shares some of her history with spirituality and religion, including the legacy of her almost-monk grandfather, and a journey that includes V...2021-12-101h 02Gathering GoldGathering GoldLonelinessHere in the Northern Hemisphere, we are entering into what can feel like a particularly lonely season for many people: the leaves have fallen from the trees, daylight disappears early, and the holiday season is upon us. Sheryl shares a passage from The Wisdom of Anxiety about loneliness, and we talk about how we can shift from discussing it as a statistic (1 in 5 adults in the U.S. reports feeling “serious loneliness”), and start to add color, texture and feeling to the conversation. What color is loneliness for you? What shape does it take? What stories does it br...2021-11-241h 03Gathering GoldGathering GoldAging Backwards (Sheryl Turns 50)In today’s very special episode, Sheryl reflects on aging as she crosses the threshold into the next decade of life: her fifties.  We talk about what it means to “age backwards,” and we consider the question: how can we become more curious, more open, softer and lighter as the years go, rather than more rigid and calcified? Is it possible that aging is, in some ways, not as linear as we think? We unpack some of the stories and perceptions about aging that can make it difficult for us to accept and embrace the changes...2021-11-051h 00Gathering GoldGathering GoldThe Power of LaughterLaughter is powerful. It can be a sign of deep comfort and intimacy, or a weapon used to reject and humiliate.  Some of us grew up in homes where jokes were plentiful but tears weren’t allowed; others may have felt that silliness or goofiness was frowned upon. For some, relationship anxiety attaches itself to questions like What if my partner isn’t funny enough? Or, Is my partner too silly?  In today's episode, we’re talking about the importance of keeping a sense of humor when doing inner work, while also meeting our pain around unkind joking...2021-10-2259 minGathering GoldGathering GoldBurnout and RestAfter a short break, Gathering Gold is back with an episode about burnout and rest. We name just some of the many reasons why humans are tired right now, from navigating an ongoing global pandemic, to managing expectations around productivity and achievement. We land on a conversation about the unrelenting demands of technology that lead us to constant checking, producing, and multitasking, and exiting the present moment. We discuss some of the fears underneath resistance to rest, and Sheryl shares her recent experience of taking a break from Instagram. We talk about learning to pay attention to...2021-10-0858 minGathering GoldGathering GoldThe Goodness of Ordinary LifeWhat does it mean to live up to our potential, to fully experience life and to feel our lives are enough? Are we stuck choosing between constant striving for bigger and better or settling for boredom and apathy? In today’s episode, Sheryl shares memories of her grandparents that continue to inspire and inform her view of what it means to live a beautiful, simple, good life. Victoria unpacks some of her fear and shame around what it means to do and be “enough,” and asks Sheryl what has helped her to let go of the restlessness and fantasy that o...2021-09-101h 03Gathering GoldGathering GoldSchool Anxiety, Part 2In Part 2 of our episode about school anxiety, we dive more deeply into how school can impact our identity and sense of self, for better and for worse. Sheryl shares some perspective on different types of schooling, having homeschooled her children in the past and now sending them into their second year of school outside the home. We discuss the parts of our school years that we are most grateful for, and how school can help us build resilience. Sheryl shares rituals that parents and kids can do together to greet the new school year and move through any...2021-08-2245 minGathering GoldGathering GoldSchool Anxiety, Part 1In today’s episode, we’re talking about school anxiety, and how feelings of dread or grief may arise as summer ends and the beginning of the school year lies right around the corner. We discuss why many highly sensitive people don’t like change, and the trick that Victoria used to get through the first few uncomfortable weeks of adjusting to a new school year. We also talk about some of the painful and even traumatic experiences that can color our school years or linger long after they’ve ended, from tragic world events to bullying and loneliness. And, Vic...2021-08-2252 minGathering GoldGathering GoldTravel AnxietyIn Episode 8, we’re talking about travel anxiety. Sheryl breaks down some of the reasons that travel can be so activating for highly sensitive people and reminds us of the importance of naming and honoring our temperament and needs, even when they don't conform with the "extrovert ideal." We discuss discerning how much we want to push ourselves out of our comfort zone without getting too overwhelmed, and share some of the spiritual practices that help us stay grounded as we stretch ourselves. And, we explore how travel, when met with consciousness and kindness, can offer opportunities for healing, gr...2021-08-081h 06Gathering GoldGathering GoldJealousyIn today's episode, we're talking about the green-eyed monster: jealousy. Where does this monster come from, and what does it feed on? What do we do when we feel it's taken over us? Sheryl and Victoria pull this emotion out of the shadows and talk about their own jealous streaks. Sheryl shares experiences with jealousy in friendship, and painful betrayals in her earliest romantic relationships. Victoria shares a poem about her own imagined "monsters" under the bed, and the ways that jealousy feeds on comparison and our imaginations.  We discuss letting ourselves feel the feeling, p...2021-07-231h 01Gathering GoldGathering GoldBirthdaysIn today's episode, we're talking about birthdays and all that comes along with them: fear of loss and aging, questions about purpose and timelines, and recognition of gold gathered and wisdom gained through another year of living. We talk about our bodies changing, and what it means to age in a culture that worships youth. And we discuss taking time to reflect and ritualize, to make space for whatever we are feeling so we can welcome in joy as we mark time, grieve, celebrate, and set intentions. Sheryl shares a letter to Victoria to mark her 30th birthday this...2021-07-091h 01Gathering GoldGathering GoldSummerIn today's episode, we're talking about summer, the season of "nothing lasts forever." Sheryl and Victoria talk about the gifts and opportunities that lie waiting in this season, which is both teeming with abundance and hinting at the colder, darker months to come. We discuss nostalgia  and grief around childhood summers (longing for what was and what wasn't), the adolescent nature of summer in all its blooming, creative and wild glory, and how to attend to expectations and overwhelm that often accompany this season for highly sensitive people.  References: Sheryl's blog post "Season of the Fallen Fl...2021-06-251h 00Gathering GoldGathering GoldMorningIn Episode 4, we're talking about another liminal time that serves as a potent opportunity for meeting our inner worlds: morning. We discuss feelings that can arise when we first open our eyes, from dread to joy, and Sheryl shares ways to turn inward without getting stuck or engulfed by big feelings at the start of the day. We talk about "co-sleeping" with our phones and share gentle strategies for working with the habit of checking them first thing in the morning. We also discuss morning rituals and routines, and why throwing out judgment and labels of "good" and "bad"...2021-06-1156 minGathering GoldGathering GoldNighttimeIn Episode 3, we shine some light on what’s happening in the highly sensitive heart during the dark, quiet (and sometimes scary) hours of the night. Beginning with the sense of emptiness, dread or loneliness that may arise when the light starts to shift and we dip into sunset, then twilight, Sheryl and Victoria describe feelings that have accompanied them in these liminal times, particularly during childhood. Then, we talk about fear of the dark, Victoria’s first panic attack that occurred in the middle of the night, and Sheryl’s first experience with insomnia during her transition into junior...2021-05-281h 03Perennials PodcastPerennials PodcastEpisode 63: Parenting Ourselves with Sheryl Paul, Part 2In Part 2 of our conversation about learning to parent ourselves, Sheryl Paul and I get into even deeper and richer territory--the territory of heart and soul.  We talk about tuning into what's happening in our bodies and in our hearts, and having patience and compassion for whatever we find. We talk about both reaching out for connection and strengthening our inner sense of self. And then there's the most mysterious but equally important key to parenting ourselves that Sheryl speaks to at the end of the episode--connecting to something bigger than us.   2021-04-0931 minPerennials PodcastPerennials PodcastEpisode 62: Parenting Ourselves with Sheryl Paul, Part 1My first-ever Perennials guest is back! This time, beloved therapist and author (whom I'm lucky to call my aunt!) Sheryl Paul and I are talking about learning to parent ourselves. This topic comes up a lot in Sheryl's work as a therapist: the practice of strengthening the part of ourselves that can hold space for big feelings, offer ourselves and others compassion and, with steady wisdom, discern how to act in accordance with our values.  In addition to talking about relating to our emotions, we also talk about the extremely practical, mundane parts of parenting ourselves: taking r...2021-04-0245 minPerennials PodcastPerennials PodcastEpisode 1: The Wisdom of Anxiety with Sheryl PaulSheryl Paul, a psychotherapist based in Boulder, Colorado, has helped thousands of people around the world through her coaching practice, her blog, and her online courses. In this episode, she and I talk about insights from her forthcoming book, The Wisdom of Anxiety, due out in May 2019 through Sounds True. Sheryl explains how anxiety contains hidden gems, gems of self-knowledge that can point us toward what needs attention in our lives. As someone who has struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for years, I know firsthand that anxiety can be a great teacher. Sheryl has helped me...2018-09-081h 17