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Simon & Lorra
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Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 220 - First Lunch Hour Since 1999
We’re back after a bit of a gap, due to lfe logistics (as we explain). Coming up on this epic ep…Back in Prickler’s Studio (the shed).Simon’s parents paid their inaugural London visit.Brotherly privacy vs likes & views.Aggro at the local pub quiz.The females in our family are all concert nutcases.A feline dirty protest.Overdoing it with the Cryptic Easter Hunt.Is there such a thing as too many Easter Eggs?Leo pulled another classic tightwad move.We’ve both got new jobs.Lorra’s top secret filming.Simon’s doing Dolly Parton h...
2025-04-28
49 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 218 - Hot Cross Bun Heartache & Sartorial Faux Pas
Hello you! Here's a short one, because we had microphone trouble, so we tried to savage as much as we could. Normal service will resume on ep219. Still, it's worth a listen, if you're content with our content! Today, we waffle about...• Lorra’s chills because of Simon’s mould battle.• More international listener feedback.• Hot Cross Bun heartbreak.• Surprise Fruit.• Aliens’ nuts.• Simon’s improved diet.• Lorra’s sartorial faux pas.• Underground kickers-out hypothetical.• Selling toenails, spit and soiled garments.• Lorra’s so...
2025-03-26
17 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 217 - Sabrina’s Eiffel Tower
Hello you! As you may have noticed, we've updated our cover art with a brand spanking new photo (the last one was taken a few years ago). Hope you like it! A fantastic chat today (recorded Thurs 20th March) talking about...• Shout outs to our international emailers.• The age group of ladies Simon attracts.• What three words would use to describe each other?• Lorra’s haircut and an interesting hypothetical.• A welcome return to the despot hair twin mention!• Hairdressers on a tax dodge.• First timer Aldi...
2025-03-21
25 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 216 - The £5 Blackpool Elvis Rug
Hello you! Well, Simon's back from Scotland, so we're back in front of the mics and apping away about...• Talking about your emails from around the world (then totally forgetting to read them out)• False Spring• First mow of 2025• Constipation or diarrhoea?• A 12-hour drive• Scotland highlights• Running a 10k for the first time• Did Lorra miss Simon?• A filthy musical• Tyler the Creator’s filthy lyrics• Kids discovering ANCIENT early 2000s music • A car full of memory lane
2025-03-13
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 213 - Wimp Mullets & Beg Friends
Hello you! Another week into Feb '25 and another podcast episode. Hope you've give us a 5-star rating and a lovely recommendation. Every little helps! A diverse chat on today's pod, mostly our bemusement at younger generations, including...• Standard British weather chat.• The Wetherspoons Challenge.• Celebrity 'beg friends’.• Lorra’s post-argument ‘move’ when she wants to make-up.• Dad’s having ’The Chair’.• Lorra’s silent-treatment technique.• Hating on the modern moustache.• How Millennials are hating on Gen-Z.• An Adrien Brody anecdote.Recommendations:Lee...
2025-02-10
29 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 211 - KINKY VERRUCA FEET & HAVING A ‘GUSH’ DAY
Hello! A slight technical difficulty (Simon THE IDIOT didn't plug his microphone in!). We did our best to make it listenable but the processing has got rid of some of the laughter. So apologies for that. But it's too good an episode to throw out. Today we talk about:• Blue Monday origins.• Storm Eogwgwggyn.• Weather waffle - London vs Scotland and the Isle of Wight.• Simon follows upon on Lorra’s hot feet orgasm fact from last week.• Socks in bed.• Lorra’s sex slippers.• Dubai’s dirty, disgu...
2025-01-29
40 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 209 - New Year Catch-Up Pt.2
We're back for pt.2 of the New Year Catch-Up! Today (or rather, the other day) we talk...• Things that aren't believed-in anymore.• Halloween & Bonfire Night.• Remembrance Day thoughts.• Both of our birthdays and how we did on gifts.• Nerdy, old-school, online forums.• Lorra's last minute, extra pressie request.• -5ºc running and trying to shower afterwards.• Live shows we've seen.• A Steve Coogan mis-step.• Outrageous Moulin Rouge tickets.• Simon's promise to get Lorra legless... Twice!• Leo's mullet and lookalik...
2025-01-17
42 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 205 - P**nstar Martinis for Kids
Hello! We're back and the good news is the bloody cameras worked this time, so if you scoot over to our YouTube page, you can actually watch this one and check out our new podcast studio/shed!Today, we're talking about...• A close shave (of the head variety)• Your 'puff' feedback from episode 204• A Kids update• Lorra's portable bath• Amazon lists• Pornstar Martinis for kids• The school friend distance cut-off• Recommendations ('The Perfect Couple' & London's National Portrait Gallery)If you'd like t...
2024-09-18
32 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 202 - Summer Special - Part 4
Here we go. Part 4 of our Summer Special/Catch-up. Get your ears around this...• Attending a podcast convention.• Encountering celebs.• Lorra talks to Sam Thompson.• Simon gets outed for an accidental pub pump.• The longest day of Simon's sober life.• Rounding-up Betsy Pearl's first year at school in the UK.• How much stuff she's lost.• Starbucks being legends.Don't forget you can watch us on YouTube here: https://youtube.com/@catboyradioIf you'd like to get in touch, you can...
2024-08-15
35 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 200 - Summer Special - Part 2
Hello again! We made it to 200 episodes. Hope you did, too. THis is the second part of our Summer Special/catch-up of the last two months. On today's episode...• Which FRIENDS are we?• Swapping Aldis and the issues that brought.• The supermarket '£70 Rule'.• Lorra getting age-checked.• The return of our old friend, COVID.Don't forget you can watch us on YouTube here: https://youtube.com/@catboyradioIf you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.comOr g...
2024-08-08
33 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 198 - Road Rage & Karaoke Parping
Ey up! We're back with episode 198 of #HAWSTL - 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' And there's plenty to talk about today, including...• Moving house• Road rage• Pond business• Epic spanner work• A nasty accident• • A guest suite idea• Lorra's boozy session• An amazing fart storyDon't forget you can watch this episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/OzG2KvspZBQIf you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.comOr g...
2024-05-23
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 197 - Baby Reindeering Jamie Dornan
Ey up! We're back with episode 197 of #HAWSTL - 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' And there's plenty to talk about today, including...• Parents having the house to themselves• Lorra trying to drive in the UK• A pretty impressive celeb spot• Questioning Paul Mescal's sexiness• Underwear woes• Semi-shoplifting• Mixed-gender changing rooms• Getting the new house keys• Reviews of 'Stranger Things, The First Shadow', Eurovision & Piers Morgan & the Baby Reindeer nutDonn’t forget you can watch us on YouTube, here: https...
2024-05-16
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 194 - Indecent Spaghetti Proposal
Hello! Welcome to episode 194 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' #HAWSTLPlease don't forget to like, subscribe, give us a five star rating wherever you listen. Every little helps!And don't forget you can watch us on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/5mR-x7-epbMOn today's episode...A chance to genuinely win £100!!!An indecent Hypothetical QuestionNew London shop terror for SimonThe London MarathonFA Cup nostalgiaThe sad piano effectLorra calls out Simon's "man" use
2024-04-25
32 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 193 - Social Battery Drain
Hello! Welcome to episode 193 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' #HAWSTLPlease don't forget to like, subscribe, give us a five star rating wherever you listen. Every little helps!Don't forget, if you need pervy solo-time inspo, you can watch this episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/Jm-u1OSZjj0On today's episode...Lorra fluffs her LIKES begA Hypothetical 'young face' dilemmaLorra's leisurewearBlazer traumaSocial batteriesThe joy of brief sunshineHampstead treasure trails
2024-04-18
19 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 192 - Classic Toilet Shout
Hello! Welcome to episode 192 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' #HAWSTLPlease don't forget to like, subscribe, give us a five star rating wherever you listen. Every little helps!And don't forget you can watch us on YouTube: https://youtu.be/GvdN8ssBqmwOn today's episode...Gen Z shout-outs.A hypothetical question for Lorra about orgasms.Reviewing 'Opening Night', starring Sheridan Smith.Secrets from 'The Apprentice'.The Bruce Springsteen biopic.Thoughts on Jeremy Allen White.A bathroom ick.
2024-04-11
25 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 191 - Traumatic Hot Water Bottle
Hello you!On today's episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' (#HAWSTL) we are serving up...• A hypothetical question involved sex and a millionaire.• What age should kids be allowed to travel alone in London?• A 'Diary of a CEO plea from Lorra.• A hot water bottle injury.• A middle-aged, bread knife saga.• The origin of 'the ick'.• Icks about socks and middle-aged pop fans.• Reviews of Josh Must Win, Interior Design Masters & Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire.Don't forget you can watch th...
2024-04-04
30 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 190 - How may squirts is too many squirts?
We're back in Spiritland Studios for another episode of #HAWSTL. Don't forget to head over to wherever you get your podcasts, like, rate & subscribe!On today's episode, we start with another unbelievable hypothetical question. We discuss a YouGov sex poll, Lorra's crazy habits, our daughter's sudden health-kick announcement and we end on a couple of 'icks' about knuckles & nails.You can watch today's episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/MCwWkgZqmacIf you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get...
2024-03-28
18 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 189 - Selling Your Own Gas
This episode was recorded in Spiritland Studios. Very exciting stuff (check out the YouTube video here: https://youtu.be/0WIoE27-kAw to see what we looked like). Thank you to the marvellous Ed, for pressing the required buttons.We start today with a new idea... A hypothetical question to get things moving. If you're in a relationship, mabe discussing it with your partner.Also on today's pod...• Lorra's restaurant rant.• The wrong place to take a date in your 20s.• The wasteful XL plate.• The death of table man...
2024-03-21
19 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 187 - A Massive Bombshell
Thank you for checking out episode 187 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life'.Please don't forget to like, subscribe & give us 5 stars! It all helps people find us.Lots to chew over today, including...• TV sex-dodging headaches.• Your sex survey feedback.• Home haircuts.• A jaw-dropping, terrible scare!• A balls-less fantasy.• Lorra's cryptically-titled books.• A pair of icks.The films reviewed on this podcast are:The Zone of Interest (trailer)One Life (trailer)Click here to...
2024-03-07
24 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 185 - Fateful fringe & changeable children
We're back! And an early trigger warning. We're talking about some pretty emotional part/children subjects today. Emotions are runig high.Today we talk...• The early arrival of Spring• Guilt over being ill• Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast• Lorra's fringe mistake• Our opinions on Rosie Jones• Seeing 'There's Something About Jamie'• 21st birthday disappointment• The kids pulling away as they get older• Reviews of 'All of us Strangers' & 'One Day'• Was it porn or was it 'Normal People' & 'B...
2024-02-24
38 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 181 - The year begins with a butt-plug incident
Hallo! Part 3 of 4 i our Christmas & New Year catch-up brings us into 2024. Today, we chew-over...• The convoluted way te energy companies work in Britain.• Duvet madness.• American politics madness.• New Years Day Toby Carvery sadness.• Dismantling Christmas too soon.• Simon's acute husband observation about Lorra.• Another father/son talk falls on deaf ears.• University FOMO.• Lovely Halls of Residence graffiti about our daughter.• The obligatory 'weeing in the car' update.• A beard & hair dye update.• An unbelievable story of...
2024-01-24
37 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 180 - The Festive Perineum
So, it looks like the three-part catch-up is going to be a four-part catch-up, with a reviews podcast coming up... But today, we're covering Christmas, the festive perineum & New Years Eve, including...• Skipping a family festive tradition (AGAIN!)• Simon's Christmas Eve shocker.• Jumpermageddon.• Lorra's enabling of Simon's London OCD obsession.• Accidental find of 'Little Tich' and the deep dive that followed.• The disappointing 'car urine bottle' Christmas present.• The 'Love Actually' gift.• A sad part about kids' presents, as they grow.• A games review (se...
2024-01-20
30 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 179 - Looking back to December (Pre-Christmas)
After over a month and the passing of a year, we are back! We'd like to apologise but it's ot like any of you pay for it, so get stuffed!This is the first of a (possibly) three-part catch-up... Pre-Christmas, Christmas to New Year, then 2024 so far.As usual, we kick things off with weather chat. We're British, after all. From there, we discuss...• Lorra's (not bullshit) Dubai friend freeze-out.• Simon's neurodivergent chat.• A jolly, old, festive gay bar and the chip&pin pianist.• Simon's feelings on being...
2024-01-17
39 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 178 - Exotic relatives from Italy & Stoke
Hello. Today’s episode was recorded straight after the last episode (ep177 - Simon’s harrowing school run incident). We’re starting to feel festive, so we cover a number of topics, including:• Lorra’s early shopping and lists.• Simon’s ‘man-shopping’.• The imbalance of husband/wife shopping for kids.• Simon’s extended Irish & Italian family.• How grandparents used to answer the phone.• Exotic relatives from nearby towns.• How Christmas will be different since leaving Dubai.• Festive Veggie joy in UK supermarkets.• 27 Aldi cheese rolls imba...
2023-12-10
35 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 177 - Harrowing school run incident
Hello. Today, a story about Wednesday morning's school-run. Why we went in the car and what happened during particularly terrible London morning traffic. Apologies in advance.The links we mentioned in the show...Simon's favourite Christmas song - 'White Wine in the Sun'Best Christmas Ever trailerCandy Cane Lane trailerLeap of Faith trailerIf you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials here:Simon on Insta: htt...
2023-12-07
19 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 176 - Middle East 17
Hello. A meandering episode, covering a lot of things... The thermometer hitting 0ºc (and below), defrosting the car windows, tube trouble, a post-birthday report of drunks on the train, a disappointing Christmas Market, urban fox spotting, how a cat-tower lead to a serious injury (and a public rant), a review of what TV & films we've been watching and loads more.Some links discussed in the pod...If you fancy a Christmas drink but you're sober - The 0.0% drinksIf you need some inspiration - Simon's Elf-on-the-Shelf ArchiveIf you fancy a l...
2023-11-30
49 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 173 - A warning to uni student parents
Hello! This pod is unedited because, in all honestly, we didn't have time to faff-about! On the menu today...• The weather (of course).• Simon's terrifying overnight podcast coincidence.• Ally Pally fireworks.• Raving with DJ Spoony.• When is the fireworks cut-off?• Honey's first visit home from university.• Why it's not like a Richard Curtis film.• Toby Carvery adventures.• A warning to parents.• Our 11yr old gets hit-on in the Science Museum.If you haven't seen it, here's the beautiful Toby C...
2023-11-13
51 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 172: The Christmas tingle & a car emergency
We're back on the proper microphones for today's episode. First time we';ve done that since we were in our villa in Dubai. And boy, it feels good! On today's chat...• A James Blunt engagement.• Surviving a London October.• Storms & They/Thems.• A big Gaye visit.• Guys & Dolls.• Another farm Halloween.• Lorra's podcast car rules.• Lorra's mum & ghosts.• "Beveraginos".• Fortnum & Mason and Liberty.• M&S and the Christmas Tingle.• The sad passing of Chandler Bing.• A car toilet emer...
2023-11-01
31 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 171 - Edible knickers & despression
Hello. Hope you're well! There are three interruptions during this podcast (edited out) and we lost a chunk due to our very expensive recording equipment behaving like very cheap recording equipment. Lots to talk about, including:• Manflu & lesser medical issues.• A urine problem.• Frost & ice.• The flu vaccine.• The Vicks trick.• TV chat with 'Ghosts' & 'Uncanny'.• Another serial killer coincidence.• Hating the Whatsapp grey-tickers.• Hoodies & dark alley protocol.• Lorra's job-hunting & state of mind.• Our choice of fantasy edible knickers.
2023-10-18
38 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 170 - Lesbian Table Tennis
Hello gorgeous! Here we go again. This is the fourth time we tried to record this podcast. You'll find out why by listening. We also had a mic mishap during this one, too. It's lik we're destined to never tell the Lesbian Table Tennis anecdote! However, we do get around to this...• Unseasonable weather.• Lorra's refusal to get onboard with memes.• A Reece Shearsmith/Hallowe'en encounter.• #Crispgate & Christmas 'evening crisps'.• The Royal Family's crisp habits.• How Lorra eats chocolate bars.• Whammageddon at Oxford Street John Lewis.•...
2023-10-10
49 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 169 - The London Cumderground
A mammoth, feature-length episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' for you today. We were supposed to be mainly talking about taking Honey to university but a lot of other things happened, so apologies for the Petr-Jackson-esque length of the episode but trust us when we say this... It's worth sticking with because it gets SHOCKING in a few places! Today we cover...• Something that makes life feel brill, according to Simon.• A bizarre photoshoot spotted this morning.• Heading out to the West End.• Foraging and fudged photos.• The last supper...
2023-10-02
1h 18
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 168 - Obsessed with penises
Hello gorgeous! We're back and once again we're in Hyde Park, with an hour to kill before collecting the Tiny Terrorist from school, we set-up our recording studio on a park bench, so expect lots of London ambience on this one. And, whilst it was very sunny, it was bloody windy, so we hope the Rode mic muffs worked their magic. Today we talk about...• The weather & badly-named hurricanes.• Biblical rain & power cuts.• The most incredible drive home from school.• Writing CVs & applying for jobs.• Training the idiot dog with a cli...
2023-09-26
43 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 167 - Live from Hyde Park
Hello from Hyde Park! You join us on a sunny, mid-September day (Thurs 14th Sept, to be precise), in-between a school drop-off & pick-up, surrounded by trees, squirrels, geese and absolutely loving it! Gorgeous day. On today's episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', we catch you up on more of our life as we adjust to repatriation, including...• The weather (of course).• The school-run on the underground.• Mayfair.• What we think of life in London.• Woods we've discovered with Charlie the dog.• Big skies.• Celeb spotting.
2023-09-14
41 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 162: Last day in Dubai & a giraffe on the plane!
Hello! This is an unedited episode (as you'll hear when someone knocks on the hotel room door) and it is our last day in Dubai (ever/for now... Who knows?). Today we talk about...• Taking our cat, Awimbaway, to the airport.• Banging our heads against the UAE banking brick wall.• Closing our phone accounts.• The last drive in Dubai.• One last night out & some very sad goodbyes.• Simon's 0.0% hangover.• Glitter faces & a chance at romance.As we mention on the end of the podcast, the n...
2023-07-30
31 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 161 - How Dubai are you? And how to walk a cat
Hello! This was supposed to be a quick record to add to a diary-type entry before we leave Dubai on Sunday night. However, like all podcasters, we can waffle-on about anything, so it's an episode now. We talk about:• Over-eating straight after complaining about over-eating.• Paying to have our luggage checked-in from the hotel.• Simon's "Live in Dubai once but leave before..." social media post.• Morning freak-outs.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials...
2023-07-28
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 158 - Unemployed, homeless, stressed
Hello! As you'll hear at the start of this episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', there have been several failed podcast recordings and attempts over the last week and it's been driving us crazy! So this is an omnibus edition. A bumper, hour-long catch-up.First of all, we're living in the Voco Bonnington Hotel in Dubai until we leave and it is incredible. The rooms, the staff, the facilities, the food... All top class! Can't recommend it highly enough. If we do ever come back, this is where we'll be staying.So, on to...
2023-07-15
1h 00
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 156 - The Leaving List & Completing Cats
Hello you! And hello all the new yous, who've just discovered our little indie podcast. Thanks for getting on board. Tell you friends!It's been two weeks to the day that we recorded our podcast announcing or departure from Dubai. Today we laid in bed (the podcast studio has been packed) and talked about...• Stress-induced cold sores.• Being the No.1 podcast in the UAE (Sorry, Michelle Obama).• Surprisingly positive feedback.• The unbearable weight of packing.• The T.O.R inventory & Brit bureaucracy.• Getting a Dubai Police check...
2023-06-18
22 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 153 - Sexy Television
Hello! We recording ep153 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' straight after hosting a Sunday family quiz. We chat about that. We also talk about how we've been arguing for a week solid, to the point where we had a fight about opening the wrong packet of crisps! Lorra defends herself against a comment she made about Simon's hair. This opens a BIG can of worms. Then we move onto the main subject of today's episode... Sexy television.This came about because over the last fifteen years, it seems TV has become more and more salacious, graphic...
2023-05-22
22 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 152 - Losing an Erection
Hello you! On episode 152 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life, we cover a lot of groud...• Is Dubai life actually busier than UK life?• Eventful school runs.• Lorra's filthy Pajero (not a euphemism).• The disappearing Space Shuttle.• School lunches.• Pronouncing Chambourcy.• A wrong car & wrong villa incident.• Honey's first solo drive.We also talked about an incredible YouTube video that has made us laugh for years... Here it is...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXceIEb1S00If you'd like...
2023-05-20
18 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 150 - Annoying Punchy Drunk Woman
Hello! Been a bit of a gap because we've been crazy busy but we're back with a rambling, swaying, random delve into the minds of two very exhausted people. We cover a long, working weekend, a really rude drunk woman, cheap sweaty orange cheese, kettle admissions and Lorra's hairy shower slippers.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials here:Simon on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/Lorra on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lorranotlaura Sim...
2023-04-30
21 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 149 - The absolute joy of online selling
Here we go. Episode 149 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' and we squeeze a lot into this one. We start with Simon's hospital results. We ask is Lorra okay? A lot of people seem to be worried! We talk about renting in Dubai. Honey's had another driving test. Simon's "disability" has lead to him being unable to drive and HE LOVES IT! We have Covid nostalgia. Then we get onto the meat (veggie meat?) of today's episode... Clearing the house out, the emotions that come with that, all the stuff we're selling and all the bloody idiots we're having...
2023-04-19
25 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 146 - Easter Trilogy pt1 - Moths & Musicals
Hello! Guess who's back... Well, don't guess. If you're reading this, it's obvious.We've recorded 3 podcasts today. This episode concentrates on firstly being deluged by Silence of the Lambs moths this week. We then move on to talking about musicals. You'll have no doubt heard the news about inebriated patrons being forcefully ejected from a Manchester theatre for singing along to The Bodyguard's "I Will Always Love You". We share our views on that and on the musicals we saw during out time in England over the last few weeks.Episodes 2 & 3 of the Easter trilogy...
2023-04-11
22 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 145 - London, celeb encounters, awful wind
Check one-two! We are coming to you live from London. Marylebone High Street, to be precise. We're recording roadside, outside a Pret... because that's all anyone in London ever seems to talk about... Bloody Pret! This street has special significance to us, as it's where we spent time when our son was having his big surgery on Harley Street. Quite emotional being back.We talk about the trip here. Simon discusses a rather unsavoury example of Baader Meinhof Complex he's been experiencing. We talk crappy hotels with the world's best showers. We talk posh schools, the first...
2023-03-22
28 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 144 - An unusual bedroom recording
An unusual sounding podcast for ep144 of ‘Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life’. To start with, we recorded this one laid in bed on Mothers Day night, as we prepare to fly to London first thing Monday morning.We talk about Simon’s latest visit to the hospital, which diverts into a chat about locks on toilet doors, before a brief description of Simon’s medical woes. Then [trigger warning] there’s a distressing poo story.We chat about packing and jobs we hate. We reminisce about celebs we saw last time we were in London.Apolo...
2023-03-20
15 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 143 - There's a lot of rude people about
Hello! Thanks for listening! Today we start with Simon's magical podcast cardigan, some grey hair drama, eyebrow abuse and then we move onto our subject of the day... Rude people. It's quite triggering, to b honest.If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.com Or get us on our socials here:Simon on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/Lorra on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lorranotlaura Simon on Twitter: https://twitter.com/catboy92 Lorra on Twitter: https://twitter.com/lorran...
2023-03-17
22 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 142 - Bugs, creepie-crawlies, cockroaches
Hello! On episode 142 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' we delve into the murky, freaky world of bugs. Before that, we talking about Lorra eventually getting her hair done and her unusual way of planning things like this and th dog's glands. We also discuss being an expat and the transient nature of friends passing through our lives. Then we get onto bugs... Cockroaches... Weevils... Drugstore beetles, drainpipe larvae and more. Plus we discuss the miracle elixar than every middle-aged person has in their kitchen!If you'd like to get in touch, you can email us here...
2023-03-13
20 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 141 - Hospital Horrors
Hello! On ep.141 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' we start with a bit of 'Intrnational Women's Day' chat (that's when we recorded this episode).We then move onto hospital chat. Simon has been in and out of hospital quite a lot over the last couple of weeks, due to several things. And the fun has been non-stop very since. Find out how invasive the invasive procedures have been and how outstanding his first ever MRI was.Have a go at Simon's new guitar video quiz here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CpcJhhYIu_E/
2023-03-10
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 140 - Beavers' Glands Surprise
Hello you! Thanks for having a listen to us on 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life'. We have now been heard in 107 countries around the world and, at time of writing, had our highest ever chart position! So, that's nice.On today's pod, we start with messaging woes. Lorra did a WhatsApp boo-boo. We talk the one-view photo, an awful email story that could've changed everything and then we tell Lorra's fingering story, which is far more disgusting that you're probably imagining.THis leads us onto our main topic today, the anal gland secretion of beavers...
2023-03-06
21 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 139 - The case for Jeremy Clarkson
On today's episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' we're fresh from finishing the second series of 'Clarkson's Farm', so we air our feelings about Jeremy Clarkson and make the case for and against him. Is he a meat-headed buffoon? A media genius? A Megalomaniac? A good guy who is bad for the exposure?Before that, Lorra opens her latest Amazon purchase and it comes as a bit of a surprise and shock to both of us. We will be posting video & photographic evidence of this purchase, so check us out on our socials...Simon...
2023-03-03
19 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 138 - Toothpaste, Old Pants & Shakespeare
Hello! On today's episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', we're heading towards a chat about Shakespeare. But before we get there, we discuss Simon's recent loss of taste, a marriage toothpaste battle, Lorra's old underwear and windscreen wipers.If you'd like to get in touch, email is here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.comOr follow us on our socials here: SIMON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/LORRA INSTA https://www.instagram.com/lorranotlaura SIMON TWITTER https://twitter.com/catboy92 LORRA TWITTER https://twitter.com/lorranotlaura See you...
2023-02-27
20 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 137 - Mum & Dad Taxi Service
Hello! Thanks for listening to 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life. We hope you like, subscribe & leave a lovely review of the show! Grovel, grovel!We start today with Simon stressing about a hospital visit, then we get onto stats about driving the kids around. Who actually enjoys doing it? We discuss falling asleep at the wheel, motorway service stations, arguing in the car, Lorra's life admin lists, sweary music on the school run, a contraception idea & Mummy guilt!If you'd like to get in touch, email us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.comOr get...
2023-02-24
22 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 136 - Coffee Shop No-Nos
Hello! We recorded ep136 of ‘Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life’ whilst suffering mild exhaustion. It’d been a long day. When we got on to the subject of coffee shop annoyances, we discussed when the word ‘barista’ became a thing. We think it was around the same time as ‘mixologist’. Both w*nky hipster speak. This lead onto Simon talking about a David Guetta surprise at the Brits.We run through a list compiled by etiquette experts of ‘coffee shop rudeness’, to see which points we agree with and which we don’t. See if you agree.If you...
2023-02-20
17 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 134 - Valentine Quickie
Hello lovebirds (or not)! Hot on the heels of yesterday's episode, we wanted to acknowledge VD... Valentine's Day. Love it or hate it, it's a thing. We started by talking about a special skill/ability most women seem to possess. We chat about half-term-keeping-up-with-the-Joneses. Then we get to the meat of Valentine's Day... Does marriage kill it? When was our last proper bit of romance? We also figure out what should be marketed as 'anti-Viagra'! We have an update on our little Valentine's surprise we set up for our youngest daughter, Lorra has a Facebook trend update for recently-divorced...
2023-02-14
21 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 133 - A Rare Case of Dad Inspiration
Hello and thanks so much for having a listen! On episode 133 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' we sound a bit different because we're recording on different mics in our living room. For no extra charge, you'll get AC noises and some unforeseen interruptions. As we approach Valentine's Day, we chat about the only person in our family who has something planned... Our ten year old daughter! We also talk about the hazards of those first teen 'liaisons' (grim) and how it's different and difficult (thank goodness) for expat teens in Dubai. Simon bleats-on about PIS (Parent Imposter Syndrome...
2023-02-13
23 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 132 - Pet Regret
Hello! On today's episode of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', we start by talking about how numerous precariously-balanced grocery boxes could not only lead to Simon's death but also to a decent discount code for a widowed Lorra from Kibsons. We also discussed how Lorra's Day 1 of 'wall pilates' looked like the crime scene from a popular real-life Netflix crime documentary series.The main subject today is 'pet regret'. Why?First piece of evidence are the dirty protests of our cat, Awimbaway.Secondly, there's Simon's feelings towards our dog, Charlie, which lead him...
2023-02-10
20 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 131 - Doctor Discomfort
We start episode 131 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' with Simon (fresh from the school run) talking about the car front seat. Lorra has some heartbreaking news about 'the favourite parent'. And then we get into the main meat of today's podcast... Doctor discomfort. Trigger warning... There's body part mentions and talk of some very painful and surprising examination experiences.You can contact us here: husbandandwifepod@gmail.comSIMON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/catboy92/LORRA INSTA https://www.instagram.com/lorranotlauraSIMON TWITTER https://twitter.com/catboy92 LORRA TWIT...
2023-02-06
19 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 130 - Booking Holidays
On episode 130 of HAWSTL, we start with a chat about Lorra's TV cardigan (as seen on 'The Midnight Club') before moving on to subject du jour... Booking holidays. We start with why we're being forced to book an extra trip this Spring. Simon has valuable advice for any couple who are pre-kids or even have one on the way. We ask the question are airlines modern-day highwaymen? (*Spoiler alert: yes) Ditto train companies. We talk Lorra's impressive 'anal nerd' files and Simon gets brownie points for an e-folder. There's mood-altering mummy-heartbreak for Lorra. There's heartbreak (albeit money-saving heartbreak) surrounding...
2023-02-03
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 128 - A bit heavy on tea towels
Hello! Thanks for popping by.On today's podcast, we talk about Lorra's achievements through the week (she promised in the last episode that she was going to try to do something for herself).We also talk tea towels. The rules of tea towels. How a tea towel in a certain position can give you full-on chef vibes and more. There's a bit of tea towel nostalgia, too.We discuss whether or not cakes should be allowed in the workplace as regularly as they are. Is constantly being around cake as bad as passive...
2023-01-22
57 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 124 - Simon's Birthday Broadcast
Hello! It's been a while. Lots been going on but we wanted to get back in the saddle with a birthday bradcast for Simon. It's a relatively quick one for us, at just over half an hour. We talk...• Ovens & air fryers.• Betsy Pearl's residential trip.• World Cup.• Dads and their glory days.• Songs.• Bikes.• Lorra's sexy physiotherapy.As we mention in the podcast, a huge thank you to those who have donated towards the podcast. It's a labour of love and all the podding ge...
2022-11-25
35 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 106 - Effin' Bees, Visa Runs, Dating Apps, Summer Chaos
A meandering flight of the Simon & Lorra wafflecopter, landing at various destinations, including...• Illness & top-wife behaviour.• The Hatta visa run.• Dating apps (Tinder & Hinge).• Kid-induced stress.• Hating other people's kids and why they might hate ours.• Travelling, airports & luggage.• A geographical riddle.We also recommended...The Phantom of the Open - [Click for trailer]Brian and Charles - [Click for trailer]Big Boys - [Click for trailer]If you'd like to get in touch about anything, you...
2022-07-16
58 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 103 - Googling Women with IBS
After it took three 'takes' to record the last podcast, Simon (mega-frustrated that his expensive wireless mics were 'playing silly buggers') wanted to test the mics on a drive. So we did. Apologies for car noise but we thought we'd put it out anyway. Today we talked about the fun news that we're getting evicted, IBS, our kids on a downer, the pitfalls of a takeaway living room massage, a kitchen cupboard reshuffle, a farting survey, how much of lives are spent trying to choose telly to watch, Lorra's disturbing bedtime viewing & the relationship TV venn diagram....
2022-05-24
18 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 099 - IT WAS LIKE 'BRASSED OFF'
Hello hello! On today's wafflecopter, we talk about...• Simon still having his shoes on 5 hours after getting home from work.• Lorra grafting.• Lorra's 'Goodfella's wives at a BBQ' outfit.• Our son arriving from uni in the UK.• Tonnes of DIY before he gets here.• Our youngest and the Mumiso(?) shop.• Bad Cinderella song covers.• Our thoughts on watching 'The Batman' & 'Bad Guys'.• The World cup of #HAWTSL updates (including Hellman's gravy mayo, Best Bruce, Best Takeaway, Best Chips, Best Tea, Best Bruce Willis Thing...
2022-04-08
39 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 087 - COLDPLAY & NUT FISTING
Hello! Big and busy one today. Talking: • Valentine's Day debrief.• Coldplay shenanigans.• Simon outing Lorra's gig-negatives.• Lorra did her first Insta live... ish.• Lorra teaches Simon about Modibodies.• Bad day at the dentist.• The return of nut-fisting.• Some listener feedback.Here's where you can get that lavender vegan chocolate: AmazonHere are links to today's recommendations...Marry Me (our Valentine's romcom): TrailerThe Rescue (thrilling documentary): TrailerThis is Going to Hurt (doctor drama): Trailer
2022-02-16
1h 01
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 081 - BABY JAM & MEAT MILK
Hello! Once again, if you'd like to contact the pod, drop us an EMAIL. We popped into the studio straight after rolling out of bed for today's chat. We have...• Your toast feedback.• Marriage and being 'monogam-ish'.• Rhubarb & Custard Creams.• Is there too much choice nowadays?• Lorra's crafty Viva (DubAldi) pop-in.• Encountering spite drivers.• A dad taxi debacle.We also sort-of recommended The After Party (click for trailer). To be honest, it's pretty average at best.If you're not following us already, click...
2022-02-06
40 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 079 - WHAT IS JURASSIC PARKING?
Hello you! Another episode so soon after the last ramble. Yes! But we had a few good things to talk about...• James Blunt debrief.• Lorra getting on the Wordle bandwagon.• The etymology of "Jurassic Parking".• Things we've "Jurassic Parked" (old & new).• Lorra's horrible "Would You Rather?" question.AS ever, we'd love to hear from you on anything we've talked about, or anything you'd like to hear us talk about. You can email us at husbandandwifepod@gmail.com or message either of us on our socials: Simon Twitt...
2022-01-30
50 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 077 - DIVISION 3 PIZZA
Hello! Today we're talking...• Weather.• Stolen weekends.• Theme Parks.• Lorra's reaction to hot food.• Lorra's attempt at the takeaway triple.• The dog at death's door.• The cats bedroom surprise.• The vet.• The different leagues/divisions of pizza.Enjoy! If you want to get in touch, please email us at husbandandwifepod@gmail.comWe'd like to hear about your strange obsessions. Such as picking every lump or scratch on your body repeatedly forever. Or blinking between every white line as you drive a...
2022-01-23
24 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 074 - CHEESE ON TOAST MURDER
Hello again! Keen to get the settings right on the roving mics which Simon messed-up so badly on ep.72, we recorded the drive to fetch the little devil from her performing arts school, during which time we talked about...• Lorra feeling a bit poorly.• Simon describing how the first weekend proper of the new year has left him feeling lost.• Simon & Lorra's review of the evening crisps of Viva (Dubai's Lidl).• Falling for the little devil's screen time addiction.• At what age can you leave the kids home alone?• Why...
2022-01-16
23 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 072 - APOLOGY PIZZA
Hello! First of all, apologies for the audio quality in the second half of today's podcast. We've been desperately trying to get into our little studio and record but time has been against us. We decided to record half in the studio pre-school pick-up and half on the roof of Starbucks (very Beatles-esque). Sadly Simon's mic didn't record at Starbucks, so we've had to try to rescue what audio we could from Lorra's mic, hence the quality. Didn't have time to run proper diagnostics beforehand. It's been crazy.On today's episode, Simon talked about positivity for 2022 then...
2022-01-14
53 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 067 - CHA CHA TROUSERS & TAILOR SLUTCUT
Hello! Today we talk Lorra's birthday and how she rated it, Simon surviving brunch, Lorra's cha-cha trousers, a double dress fail and subsequent tailor slutcut, watching the new Spiderman, the no-booze hangover and random Twitter diagnosis, Lorra's karaoke tone-deafness, Simon's undiagnosed autism rearing its head with The Beatles, a going-to-the-mall mistake, recommending 'A Boy Called Christmas', Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/husband-wife-sentenced-to-life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2021-12-21
33 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 056 - IT'S A SPORTS MASSAGER... HONESTLY!
Hello you! We popped-in to the spare-room-cum-studio for a quick (although not as quick as Simon would've liked) chat.Today we talked about...• The studio temperature.• The Marks & Sparks poll result.• The start of Christmas shopping.• Excessive advent calendars.• A quick veggie review of a brunch we went to.• The monster that is post-brunch-Lorra.• Simon's flies & Michael McIntyre's nut.• Poorly Honey's Covid test.• Simon's first radio show from Expo 2020.• His subsequent dad-brain stupidity.• Lorra's embarrassment w...
2021-10-17
35 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 055 - SCRATCH MY BUM SPOT
Hello you! It's Friday morning and, for the first time in months, we're back in our home studio to record ep.55 of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life) and it's a WHOPPER today... What the Beano or Whizzer & Chips used to call a 'bumper edition'!Today we talked about...• Riding high in the charts against some of our favourite podcasters.• Your votes and reviews (Please leave us one!)• Lorra's bin-recycling laminate.• Sick kids.• Driving on "parental daze" auto-pilot.• The curry-on-rice debate.• The posh get e...
2021-10-15
1h 00
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 053 - SHAG SHEET & CHUNDER CHART
Hello you! Well, after several misfires and an entire recording we decided to bin, we finally got around to recording an episode. It's been a week. Far too long but, as you'll hear, we having been in a great frame of mind. And, as it World Mental Health Day, we thought it appropriate and important to put this out.Today we talk about...• Broken air-conditioning.• The mental pain of missing our son.• Free time dilemma.• Simon talks about depression.• Renewing Lorra's car. A lovely financial surprise!
2021-10-10
40 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 052 - BACK TO LIFE BACK TO REALITY
Hello. Second attempt to upload this one as it all disappeared last time. We recorded in our Dubai kitchen as Simon cooked roasted red pepper linguine and Lorrra sat in the Lay-Z-Boy recliner drinking a caramel & hazelnut latte. You can see the finished dish here: https://bit.ly/2ZSqKeyToday we talked about...• The cyclone heading our way.• Lorra's hatred of Simon's Insta foodie posts.• The shock of the early rising.• Separate school drop-offs.• Back to work for Simon.• Lorra's mid-morning snooze mistake.• One o...
2021-10-03
30 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 051 - THE PERFECT BAD BOY PERCENTAGE
Hello you! A quick catch-up as we walked Charlie around the lake behind our villa. It was too hot. We went from normal to drippy during this recording... And not in a good way. Today we talked about...• Back to work eve.• An urge to watch the new James Bond.• Getting back in the kitchen with veggie enchiladas.• Lorra not liking the word 'poo'... And some worse suggestions.• Dubai parents' complex pick-up/drop-off schedules.• Lorra's dread of an empty house tomorrow.• The travel playlist.• The bad...
2021-10-02
29 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 050 - COCKTOBER
Hello you! We recorded today's podcast on a sunn7, blue-skied, 40ºc drive to Parkview Hospital's Covid Drive-Thru, so Simon could get his, erm, fit-to-work test done. Today we talked about...• The rules of radio.• Simon's different October hashtag list.• Lorra's car clock discrepancies.• Blowvember.• The launch of Expo 2020 Dubai.• Our emotionless, problem child.• A Leo update.• How to trick him into texting us.• Lorra's 'Would You Rather?'• The best & worst things about being back.• An overly-emotional reply...
2021-10-01
33 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 044 - BRISTOL DIARIES: SEVENTY FIVE QUID
Hello you! It's D-Day, the D standing for 'Drop-Off'. It's a biggie. It's something we've been building to, stressing about, fearing and dreading. Towards the end of this podcast, Lorra gets very emotional. IF you're going or have gone through the university drop-off, you'll get it. However, we also caught up about yesterday and this lot...• A Fred West update.• Heading for a big day out but feeling flat.• Wookey Hole via Rock of Ages.• A picnic at Cheddar Gorge.• A grumpy sweet-shop tosspot.• Weston Super Mare....
2021-09-23
31 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 036 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: UGLY CITY CENTRES
Hello you! We recorded today's pod sat in the car at Calshot Beach in the rain, which is expected to last all day. And we talked about:• Our view.• The weather (obviously).• The new hire car and it's futuristic holes.• Heading into Southampton City Centre.• Our review of the Costa vegan bacon butty.• Lorra's Primark wormhole.• Simon's views on the ugliness of England's city centres.• Marks & Sparks sparkly festive booze.• Leo's expensive phone fix.• Our Lymington fly-by.• An exciting Barr...
2021-09-14
29 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 030 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY 5
We got the negative TTR results last night, so we went for a sunrise walk through Calshot, down to Calshot Spit, along the beach and the huts, back along the Solent Estuary, alongside Fawley Power Station and back, through the wild bushes, trees and nature, to home. We've left as much as the recording in as possible, so you can hopefully feel the ambiance around us. Don't forget to check-out the photos that accompany this walk here: http://instagram.com/catboy92 Today we talked about: • Being outside for the first time.• Bus memo...
2021-09-08
37 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 025 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY ZERO
After at least 7 attempts, botched recordings, faulty microphones, forgetting to press record and lots of other faffing-about, we FINALLY managed to record episode 025 of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life) and you may notice it sounds a little different, because we've gone international and we're recording 'on the road' with our Rode Wireless Go II mics. Today we talked about...• Our garden location.• Leaving one of our children in Dubai.• The velocity and ferocity of a Mum-wee.• Taxi nerves.• Check-in queues and folder compliments.• An expert description...
2021-09-03
26 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 023 - "ANNIVERSARY GIFT POLITICS"
Hello! A brand new episode of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life) and we cut straight to the chase with an argument straight after the jingle about who should start the podcast! We also delve into...• A very interesting space fact.• Lorra's hypothetical space disaster.• Anniversary gift politics.• Guilt about leaving the kids for the night.• Hotel shenanigans.• Lorra and THAT dress (The real PINGdemic).• The best veggie burger of all time.• Following the sitcom 'anniversary nookie' rule.• Other nights when 'bedroom olym...
2021-08-24
36 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 022 - "A STARSTRUCK GYNAECOLOGIST"
A bonus episode of sorts... As we'll be spending a month out of the country, we've invested in some field mics to record wirelessly and wherever we are. So, we gave them a go in the car (quite noisy) and had a bit of an unscripted chat. We talked about:• Travel plans.• The possibility of Lorra crying again on the pod.• An absolutely gross fingernail story.• Bathroom quietness in teen relationships.• A starstruck gynaecologist.• Hospital small-talk near genitals.• Jock-itch research.• A smells recap and explai...
2021-08-19
26 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 020 - "HE HAD CHRONIC DIARRHOEA. HE WAS 4 HRS LATE"
We're back! And it's ep20 of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life). So much going on in this one and it gets more emotional than we ever have before. We talk about:• Lorra finally extacting Simon's 'Clarksons'.• The difficulties of dieting.• The varieties of middle-aged w****rs.• Solitary exercising.• Northern accents dying out.• Whether lab-meat is veggie or not.• The UAE getting Amber status.• A 'Wife's Re-Whinge' that faced a strong rebuttal.• 'Husband's Humps' about Lorra's new 'scent' and people who are late.
2021-08-09
49 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 015 - "NOBODY LOOKS GOOD SNOGGING"
Episode 15 almost didn't happen because we were mid-birthday party for our youngest, Betsy Pearl. But, like the troopers that we are, we walked the fifteen paces to the studio and talked for a whole 30mins. Legends! And here's what we talked about...• Our current Chart position (26th).• Can mums have a G&T at their kid's party?• Matt Hancock Video Apologist.• What TV habits put us off someone.• Simon's "art".• The Women who buy it.• Lorra's Parosmia.• Dissing Chronotherapy.• Simon's alleged fisting ha...
2021-07-03
27 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 014 - "BED LEGS PHENOMENON"
A pre-listen warning... There's a proper argument in episode 14 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life'. We also talked about...• The 'Bed Legs' phenomenon.• Science... What makes an internet troll?• Simon admits to trolling an awful car hire firm.• Lorra has a pop at Simon's Tweets.• Chrissy Teigen schadenfreude.• A survey about partner time.• Lorra's travel-ban rant.• Signs of the (allegedly fictional) male menopause.• A proper bag barney on 'Wife's Whinge'.• A 'Husband's Hump' about eyebrow abuse.• A 'Would You Rather...
2021-06-30
32 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 013 - "SOMETIMES I'LL GO FULL NUDDY"
Episode 13... But is it unlucky? We'll after making an appearance at No.25 in the UAE Podcast Charts, we disappeared again, so maybe there's something in it! Today we talked about...• Secret superstitions.• Lucky Perfume.• Father's Day Feedback.• "Spite-buying".• Simon's 'Dadzy' leading to an accidentally distasteful moment.• The results of our knickers survey.• Parent bedroom rules.• Wife's Whinge/Husband's Hump synergy.• Lorra's anti-husband-fondling diatribe.• Great news for men (like Simon) who can't grow beards.• Sandwich vs sh*gging... And the inven...
2021-06-26
35 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 012 - "I'M LIKE CHOCOLATE FOR P.M.S"
Simon tried to get out of recording ep.12 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', due to extreme exhaustion but Lorra twisted his arm and it could be the best episode yet! Today we talk about:• The sexy boob-grab yawn.• Potted Dog listener feedback.• Is Yorkshire a foreign language?• Being the white, middle-aged, talentless Stormzy.• Exercise/orgasm science.• 8 signs your marriage is in trouble.• A Father's Day 'Wife's Whinge'.• A sticky 'Husband's Hump'.• A time-travel 'Would You Rather?'• Things you don't app...
2021-06-23
34 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 009 - "THERE WAS A PUDDLE ON MY CHAIR"
Episode 009 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life' was recorded less than 24 hours after our second Pfizer vaccine shots.Today we talked about...Yesterday's day from hell.The Relationship Card.Unusual sweat.Graduation.Strong & pretty gross Pfizer side effects.Lorra's "Wife's Whinge" about tea.Simon's "Husband's Hump" about an infuriating phone habit Lorra has.A very deep "Would You Rather?" about mind-reading.A listener voicemail about air conditioning.And a two-way compliment.Recommendations...
2021-06-12
28 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 008 - "HE MADE LARRY GRAYSON'S FALSE TEETH"
On episode 8 of 'Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life', Lorra went for the jugular on Wife's Whinge, with an issue that will have most women screaming "YES SISTER!" out loud. We also dissected...• Making Deals with the Tooth Fairy.• A false teeth claim to fame.• A 'Lady Boxing' license-to-perv blag.• Simon's massage paradox.• Husbands and their assumptions.• An accusation about Lorra being filthy.• A "bedroom fun" 'Would You Rather?'• An email about TikTok toileting.• Lorra's album recommendations.• A half-hearted complim...
2021-06-09
30 min
Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life
#HAWSTL 003 - "PAUL MCCARTNEY'S BAGEL"
Episode 3 with Simon & Lorra.We talk...A rare bit of (surprisingly enjoyable) football.Lorra's stomach problem.Paul McCartney's Eye Yoga.Paul McCartney's bagel.The perils of tweens & the evil internet.Post-covid office capacity.A "Wife's Whinge" regarding table choice.A "Husband's Hump" concerning bikini deposits.A "Would You Rather?" featuring a swinging sex chair.Recommendations including Mark Ruffalo's fictional testicular injury.If you'd like to tell us about one (or many) of...
2021-05-28
25 min
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - It's A Wonderful Life
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, the team are back together in the same room after a Covid-related hiatus. It was really nice to get the band back together, especially to talk about this... The fourth of our CHRISTMAS SPECIALS! Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about the brilliant IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE! The five characters being recast are:UNCLE BILLYMR POTTERMARYCLARENCEGEORGE BAILEYThe team make their suggestions and narrow it down to the...
2020-12-23
1h 31
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Home Alone
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, The third of our CHRISTMAS SPECIALS! Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about the brilliant HOME ALONE! The five characters being recast are:OLD MAN MARLEYKATE (KEVIN'S MUM)MARVHARRYKEVIINThe team make their suggestions and narrow it down to their perfect cast and, as usual, we'll have a bucket full of facts and bouquet of bickering.Plus we'll have the public vo...
2020-12-16
1h 31
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, The second of our CHRISTMAS SPECIALS! Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about possibly the funniest festive film ever... NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION! The five characters being recast are:UNCLE LEWIS (Originally played by William Hickey). AUNT BETHANY (Originally played by Mae Questel). COUSIN EDDIE (Originally played by Randy QuaId). ELLEN GRISWOLD (Originally played by Beverly D’Angelo). CLARK GRISWOLD (Originally played by Chevy Chase). The tea...
2020-12-09
1h 24
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Die Hard
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, The first of our CHRISTMAS SPECIALS! Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about the "is it/isn't it?" of Christmas movies (it is)... DIE HARD! The five characters being recast are:KARLSGT ALHOLLYHANS GRUBERJOHN MCCLANEThe team make their suggestions and narrow it down to their perfect cast and, as usual, we'll have a bucket full of facts and bouquet of bickering.Plus we'll ha...
2020-12-02
1h 34
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Four Weddings and a Funeral
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting 'the Star Wars of rom-coms'... FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL! The five characters being recast are:Scarlett (Charlotte Coleman)Matthew (John Hannah)Gareth (Simon Callow)Carrie (Andie MacDowall)Charles (Hugh Grant)The team make their suggestions and narrow it down to their perfect cast and, as usual, we'll have a bucket full of facts about the film. There's a bit of argy-bargy over a...
2020-11-18
1h 12
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Top Gun
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting one of the biggest and most iconic films of the 80s... TOP GUN! The five characters being recast are:Viper (Tom Skerritt)Goose (Anthony Edwards)Charlie (Kelly McGillis)Ice Man (Val Kilmer)Maverick (Tiny Tom Cruise)The team make their suggestions and narrow it down to their perfect cast and, as usual, we'll have a bucket full of facts about the film.
2020-11-11
1h 21
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Grease
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting the musicalwe all know every word to... GREASE! The five characters being recast are:Principal McGeeCoach CalhounRizzoSandyDannyThe team make their suggestions and narrow it down to their perfect cast and, as usual, we'll have a bucket full of facts about the film.Plus we'll have the public votes on our choices for The Exorcist in epi...
2020-11-04
1h 08
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - The Exorcist
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!This week, for our HALLOWEEN SPECIAL... Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting 1973 bar-setting horror... The Exorcist. The five characters being recast are:Chris MacNeil (Regan's actress mother, originally played by Ellen Burstyn).Lt. Kinderman (Film loving detective, originally played by Lee J Cobb).Father Merrin (Long-suffering priest & exorcist, originally played by Max Von Sydow).Regan (Butter-wouldn't melt girl who turns potty-mouthed demon).Father Karras (A priest suffering a crisis of faith, originally played by Jason...
2020-10-28
1h 10
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Forrest Gump
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting 1994 epic... Forrest Gump. The five characters being recast are:Bubba (Forrest's shrimp-loving army friend, originally played by Mykelti Williamson).Mrs Gump (Forrest's mother, originally played by Sally Field).Lt. Dan (Forrest's platoon leader and best friend, originally played by Gary Sinise).Jenny (The unrequited love of Forrest's life, originally played by Robin Wright).Forrest (Our leading man, originally played by Tom Hanks\).The team make t...
2020-10-21
56 min
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Titanic
The show which reimagines your favourite films being remade NOW!Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting 1997 Oscar behemoth... Titanic. The five characters being recast are:The larger-than-life (and unsinkable) Molly Brown (originally played by Kathy Bates).Misogynistic, posh-boy bully (and Rose's squeeze), Cal Hockley (originally played by Billy Zane).Yarn-spinning, necklace-chucking centenarian, Old Rose (originally played by Gloria Stuart).Posh-yet-rebellious leading lady, Rose (originally played by Kate Winslet).Jack-the-lad chancer and would-be-artist, Jack (originally played by Leonardo DiCaprio).The team make t...
2020-10-14
41 min
Fantasy Reboot Podcast
Fantasy Reboot - Back to the Future
FANTASY REBOOT PODCASTSERIES 1 EPISODE 1The show which reimagines your favourite childhood films being remade NOW!Simon, Lorra, Leo & Roger fantasise about rebooting Back to the Future. The five characters being recast are:Marty's dad & über nerd, George McFly (originally played by Crispin Glover).Marty's fruity mum, Lorraine Baines/McFly (originally played by Lea Thompson).One of cinema's greatest bullies, Biff Tannen (originally played by Thomas F. Wilson).Morally dubious tinkerer and inventor, Doc "Emmet" Brown (originally played by Christopher Lloyd).
2020-10-07
36 min