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Simon Paluck
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This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Learning to be alone
This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab *encore* conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question to Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Pa...
2025-06-19
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Is it possible to be "too emotional"?
This Isn't Therapy...it’s the ENCORE to our episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Aski...
2025-06-12
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: How the Grinch Stole Therapy
This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* performance of our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: How the Grinch Stole Therapy. Every Who down in Whoville liked wellness a lot...but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did NOT. The Grinch hated wellness! The whole "therapy speak." Now, please don't ask why, the reason is bleak...Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous episode narrated (and written AND performed) by Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for joining us this year. We wish you all...
2024-12-24
10 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Being chronically online
This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown’s recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and what Jake is #noticing in the therapy room.Articles:"Hard Seasons and Wild Hearts" by Brené Brown"Living Life As Avatars of Ourselves" by Jake Ernst"The Cost of Bei...
2024-12-12
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Transference and Countertransference
This isn’t therapy… it’s an *encore* conversation about when the past is present in the therapy room. In this episode, Jake and Simon explore two therapy terms, transference and countertransference, to open up a conversation about what happens when clients own history is transferred onto a therapist and what happens when a therapist’s own history is transferred onto a client. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss! Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck...
2024-12-05
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: "Thinking isn't doing"
This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applying it. Jake also shares an actionable script to help the Lovely Listeners find action when stuck in cycles of overthinking. CHUNK IT AND DO IT!!!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host...
2024-11-21
42 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: People Pleasing
This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof.Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswj...
2024-11-14
39 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: What are my needs? (Part 2)
This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desire and Mimetic Rivalries. How do we know if our needs are being met? This is a must-listen episode!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst...
2024-11-07
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: What are my needs? (Part 1)
This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck
2024-10-31
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Lying to your therapist
This Isn't Therapy... it's the pinocchio-inspired epi about lying to your therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon use a case scenario as a study about lies, fibs, and fairytales in the therapy room. They talk about what may lie beneath our lies (hehe) and can what happen when a therapist may suspect a lie is being told.P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;)Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators...
2024-10-24
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Adulting is hard
This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Gu...
2024-10-17
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Emotional Immaturity
This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! 💋💋 Article: Emotionally Immature ParentsBy Psych CentralDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jak...
2024-10-10
49 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Is doomslang making us all numb?
This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or qu...
2024-10-03
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The eerie hype of self-improvement influencers
This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce mental health stigma?!Sources:...
2024-09-26
45 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Making New Friends
This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst...
2024-09-19
41 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Help! My therapist broke up with me...
This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one!P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests ...
2024-09-12
47 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Dating apps, hook up culture, and situationships
This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana GuptaCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast
2024-09-05
39 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Hot takes and the pressure to be an expert
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary!A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let problems be problems rather...
2024-08-28
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Is it my personality or my mental health?
This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extroverts. Hold on to your hat, Wendy, because we're setting sail on a magical journey into personality! Is shyness a personality trait or a mental health problem? Tune in to find out! :o...
2024-08-21
38 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Best Friends Forever? It's a myth.
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For a Friend, a #lovelylistener queries about irrational fears. Article...
2024-08-15
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: When therapy sessions become devastating TV
This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon and Jake talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about what happens when therapy sessions become public and streamed to the masses.Article: ‘It was actually beautiful’: the wild rise in people turning their therapy sessions into devastating TV by Eleano...
2024-08-09
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Is therapy harming kids?
This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or...
2024-08-01
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Phubbing 🤳✋
This Isn’t Therapy… it’s an *encore* discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it’s allegedly the smartphone. 📲🤳🏼👀Article discussed: As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up by Andrew SofinLink to the stu...
2024-07-25
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The pursuit of endless bliss ✨👀
This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst....
2024-07-18
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Parenting your partner
This Isn't Therapy... this is an *encore* conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationship burnout. We'll also talk about the origins of these caring behaviours and discuss the difference...
2024-07-11
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Giving Feedback To Your Therapist
This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!P.S. Don't...
2024-07-04
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Mattering
This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to those who matter to them. Yeehaw! Mattering matters!Bonus: This episode was featured on CBC's Podcast Playlist!! That's right, our This Isn't Therapy hit the national broadcast airwaves, baby, an...
2024-06-27
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: AI Therapist vs. Human Therapist
This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more!BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to...
2024-06-20
41 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Loneliness vs. Being Alone
This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab, encore conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Er...
2024-06-13
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The Rise In Therapy Language
This Isn't Therapy... it's the encore episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want to miss, mmmmmkay?Articles:TIME: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You're Misusing by Angela HauptThe New York Times: How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating by Dani BlumCreators & Guests ...
2024-06-06
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Navigating Change
This Isn't Therapy...this is our *final* episode until the summer break!! On this weeks eppy, Jake and Simon asked "how do you navigate change?" Through two #lovelylisteners stories, they explore the honest struggle that comes with sudden change and how defaulting to "old habits" isn't necessarily a bad thing. Juicy! Sidebar: if you're a first time caller or a long time listener, thank you for being here! See you in the fall xoP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.c...
2024-05-30
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Is doomslang making us all numb?
This Isn't Therapy... it's a doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question...
2024-05-23
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
The Control Paradox
This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab conversation about the control paradox! Arg! How do I get more control? Why must I try to fix everything?! Through two #lovelylistener stories, Simon and Jake explore the paradox of managing our fear of not having control by trying to get more of it. Also, what happens when we try to rush to resolve everything, all the time? AKA being a fix it, Ralph!! Listen to find out. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...
2024-05-16
33 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Exploring our inner world
This Isn't Therapy... it's a long-overdue convo about inner worlds and inner children! What is an inner child? Does everyone have one? How do I know if I have one? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to reconnect with our inner kids and how to know whether or not our inner child needs healing, attention, connection, or care. What follows is a discussion about inner worlds and why or why we shouldn't explore, or escape into, our inner landscape. Quote from the episode: "Being left alone with our stressful emotions in childhood creates a...
2024-05-09
38 min
This Isn’t Therapy
The eerie hype of self-improvement influencers
This Isn't Therapy...this is an (accidental) deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce mental health stigma?! Sources: ...
2024-05-02
45 min
This Isn’t Therapy
6 Types of Play Everyone Needs
This isn't therapy... it's an episode about the six types of play everyone needs. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the growing rates of play deprivation and how we've become starved of this essential ingredient for wellbeing. They cover the three types of play we need in infancy and childhood and discuss the three types of play we need in adolescence and adulthood. Let the true meaning behind "fun, flirty, and fabulous" commence!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast...
2024-04-25
57 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Does anyone feel like an actual adult?
This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about becoming a confident, capable, and emotionally mature adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". If you're feeling the pressure to perform a certain brand of adulthood, you don't want to miss this one. Jake and Simon dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?and tackle the myth of the ~fully realized~ adult. This one's for anyone who feels like they’re cosplaying as an adult or simply wearing a...
2024-04-18
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Loneliness vs Being Alone
This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjake...
2024-04-11
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Mimetic Rivalries
This Isn't Therapy...this is the second-half of a convo about needs (we love a Part 2!!) In this episode, Jake and Simon are piggy backing off last week's episode about uncovering our needs and are now exploring what happens when our needs lead to comparison or conflict. You know her, you love her, she's a little messy: please welcome to the stage....✨Mimetic Rivalries✨!! DC vs Marvel, Apple vs Google, Simon vs Jake 🥵 - when we become too similar, rivalry occurs....is this a bad thing?! P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our new...
2024-04-04
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Vocalizing your needs
This Isn't Therapy...this is a two-part conversation about meeting your needs. What are my needs? What are your needs? How do we meet each others needs?! Oh boy!! In this fun, flirty, fab *throwback* episode, Jake and Simon chat through Primal, Survival, and Growth needs: their evolutionary purpose, self-care, and the difficulty of figuring out what we needs are, in the first place... P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host ...
2024-03-28
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Is therapy harming kids?
This Isn't Therapy...this is a critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or so...
2024-03-21
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Why we want what other people want
This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about mimetic desire: why we want what other people want. Human beings learn everything, including our desires, from imitation. In this episode, Jake and Simon go deep and peek behind the comparison curtain to reveal the reasons why we come to want what other people have. If you've ever thought "Ooh, I want that!" or "I should follow that trend..." or "I want more of that lifestyle." then this episode is for you.P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...
2024-03-14
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Giving feedback to your therapist 👀
This Isn't Therapy...this is an episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!P.S. Don't forget...
2024-03-14
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
How social media re-wired us all
This Isn't Therapy... it's the surprise solo session with Jake! In this episode, Jake shares two snippets from his weekly newsletter Just Trying To Help. Jake walks us through his theories for how social media is re-wiring our brains, reshaping our moods, and changing how we connect.P.S. Happy Leap Year! Ribbit Ribbit! Read the full articles here:How Social Media Re-Wired Us AllThe Rise of Algorithmic MoodsOh! And don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail...
2024-02-29
32 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Stop Opening Up About Your Mental Health Online
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a very frank conversation about oversharing and opening up about your mental health online. In this day and age, we've normalized sharing everything online, but is it really helpful? That's the question being asked by Freya India in her recent article "Stop Opening Up About Your Mental Health Online." In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the cultural pressure to participate in digital vulnerability and whether or not that's productive or helpful in the long run. Tune in for a nuanced convo about our digital footprints, constant documentation, online boundaries, and how algorithms cr...
2024-02-22
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Scrutiny, shame, and Taylor Swift criticism
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a bold, beautiful, and brave conversation about ~scrutiny~. Lol no really, it's an important convo about how criticism, judgment, shame, and scrutiny have their way in the public and personal discourse. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the pros and cons of critical observation and how our judgments help us navigate complex social environments. Oh, and hello, hi to the Swifties and non-Swifties! There's a nugget in this episode for all of you too. 😘 🏈 And stay tuned for a new Asking For A Friend, where Jake and Simon talk about if all emotional...
2024-02-15
38 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Being chronically online
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a timely conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown’s recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and what Jake is #noticing in the therapy room.Articles:"Hard Seasons and Wild Hearts" by Brené Brown"Living Life As Avatars of Ourselves" by Jake Ernst"The Cost of Bei...
2024-02-08
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Can we really fake it ‘til we make it?
This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the age-old adage "fake it 'til you make it!" In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about whether or not it's really possible to fake it or pretend our way into a new reality. Through two Lovely Listener stories, they chat through the pros and cons of keeping our cool and trying to be more confident than we actually are. If you're looking to build self-trust, restore lost confidence, or stop yourself from playing the pretend-game, this one's for you!Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question...
2024-02-01
42 min
This Isn’t Therapy
The pursuit of endless bliss 🙃✌️
This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst. Do...
2024-01-25
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
We talk to an AI therapist
This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more! BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to AI...
2024-01-18
41 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Failed Expectations
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about failed expectations. Through two lovely listeners story submissions (and an article, see below), Jake and Simon explore the impact of not meeting the expectations others put on us, as well as the expectations we put on ourselves. Woof! Big stuff - especially around this "new year, new me" time of year. How do we navigate impossible expectations? Or unrealistic standards? And how can we maintain progress in our goals once the initial excitement fades away? Tune into to find out, Mary!! Don't forget! Send us your quandary, query, or q...
2024-01-11
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Asking For A Friend
This isn't therapy, Mary... it's a celebration of our newest segment! This is the first-ever Asking For A Friend roundup! In the past few weeks, we've received soooo many good questions that we just couldn't leave them all in 2023. We wanted to ring in the New Year by answering your frequently asked questions. In this episode, Jake and Simon answer questions about mom advice, how to make big decisions, social media predictions, first time therapy fears, their own morning routines, and how to build the perfect podcast partnership! We hope you all had a fun, flirty, and...
2024-01-04
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Emotional immaturity 🥺
This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! 💋💋 Article: Emotionally Immature Parents By Psych CentralDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake...
2023-12-28
49 min
This Isn’t Therapy
How The Grinch Stole Therapy
This Isn't Therapy...this is our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: How the Grinch Stole Therapy. Every Who down in Whoville liked wellness a lot...but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did NOT. The Grinch hated wellness! The whole "therapy speak." Now, please don't ask why, the reason is bleak...Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous episode narrated (and written AND performed) by Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for joining us this year. We wish you all a restful holiday season...
2023-12-21
10 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Adulting is hard
This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult. Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests ...
2023-12-14
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Bonus: We made a Best Indie Podcast list!!
This Isn't Therapy...this is a BONUS snippet from our feature on CBC's Podcast Playlist!! That's right, our lil pod hit the national broadcast airwaves, baby! On this bonus ep of the pod, you'll hear Podcast Playlist host Leah-Simone Bowen highlight six of the Best Indie Podcasts - spoiler alert: we made the list!! Thank you to CBC and the Podcast Playlist team for including us
2023-12-12
12 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Am I too emotional?
This Isn't Therapy...it’s the long-overdue episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Fr...
2023-12-07
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Lying to your therapist
This Isn't Therapy... it's the pinocchio-inspired epi about lying to your therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon use a case scenario as a study about lies, fibs, and fairytales in the therapy room. They talk about what may lie beneath our lies (hehe) and can what happen when a therapist may suspect a lie is being told.P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;)Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators...
2023-11-30
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Can therapy fix everything?
This Isn't Therapy... it's a meta convo about these very important questions: Can therapy fix everything? Why has therapy become the solution for everything? What types of problems can therapy realistically solve? In addition, Jake and Simon talk about why our mental health is getting worse if more and more people are going to therapy. They also talk about the purposes and promises of therapy through a model for assessing what is in our control and not in our control. Lots to discuss! Article: America Has Reached Peak Therapy. Why Is Our Mental Health Getting Worse? by...
2023-11-23
45 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Surprise Solo Sesh with Simon 🥵
This Isn't Therapy...this is Simon's first surprise solo session (HOT🥵!!) Our dear gal pal Jake has fallen ill (sad 😢 )so on this week's episode, Simon takes the reigns and guides the #lovelylisteners through a fun, flirty, fab review of some of his fav TIT moments. Where did Brandon the Therapy Frog come from? Who is Tina the Troll? Does he have a favourite episode?! All that in more! Plus, Simon hints at some new exciting things to come in the This Isn't Therapy universe. Next week the girlies will be reunited...and we'll be BACK to our regular hot st...
2023-11-16
32 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Debunking the BFF Myth
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For a Friend, a #lovelylistener queries about irrational fears. Article: B...
2023-11-09
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Mattering
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to those who matter to them. Yeehaw! Mattering matters! *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comC...
2023-11-02
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Making new friends
This Isn't Therapy... it's a convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - H...
2023-10-26
41 min
This Isn’t Therapy
EPISODE 100 🌟😭
This Isn't Therapy...this is EPISODE ONE FOOOKEN HUNDRED, BABY!!! ✨ On this centennial episode of the pod, Jake and Simon take a look back at the very first episode of the pod and work through allllllll the cringe. What follows is a fun, flirty, fab chat about vulnerability, growth, and new eras (sry swifties!! These two girlies are ready to take over the world!!) Special thanks to our #lovelylisteners for supporting laughing, listening, and joining us each week. You truly are the best
2023-10-19
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Toxic achievement culture
This Isn't Therapy... it's an epi about toxic achievement culture (what!!?!?!)... In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss an emerging therapy therapy theme about the ways that achievement can be toxic, unhealthy, and unproductive. They dive deep into an article about achievement, feeling enough, and "mattering." They talk about the importance of having social proof in order to feel like we matter and what we can do to reclaim a sense of true community and interdependence. Also, make sure to listen all the way through -- Jake and Simon get vulnerable. Article: Grim expectations: An expert explains...
2023-10-12
47 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Is it my personality or is it mental health?
This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extroverts. Hold on to your hat, Wendy, because we're setting sail on a magical journey into personality! Is shyness a personality trait or a mental health problem? Tune in to find out! :o...
2023-10-05
38 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Leaving your comfort zone
This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab convo about how being comfortable will not make you happy 🤯. In this episode, Jake and Simon chat through two #lovelylistener story submissions - one features a tale about moving on from a beloved job and the other explores the fear of leaving the comfort zone. They discuss how the (necessary) feelings of discomfort lead to personal growth and introduce (please welcome to the stage) the growing edge - no, Wendy, that's not in reference to you growing a fierce bang. P.S - Got an idea for an epi...
2023-09-28
33 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Taking social risks
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about taking social risks! This week, Jake and Simon talk about how to put yourself out there and embrace the improv side of life. Jumping off from last week’s conversation about play, they discuss another #LovelyListener submission about trusting people’s true intentions and dissect a quote about improvised gatherings. Bring your umbrellas! Because this week, we’re improv-ing up a storm!Article: What Adults Forget About Friendship by Rhaina CohenP.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you :)
2023-09-21
40 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Have we lost our sense of play?
This Isn't Therapy... but we are tackling life's important questions: have we lost our sense of play? In this episode, Jake and Simon dig deep into a #LovelyListener submission and article (Remix!! Twist!!) about adult play, which suggests that playing and wasting time together like kids do are how we can become happier and healthier adults. Also - shout out to Disney World (sponsor us!) Article: What Adults Forget About Friendship by Rhaina CohenP.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you :) Creators & Guests
2023-09-14
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Bullying with boundaries
This Isn't Therapy... this is the long-awaited follow-up to our episodes about boundaries. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about being a boundary bully and using “boundaries” to control other people. They talk about an advice column question submitted to The Atlantic about family boundaries and and discuss relationship boundaries via ~the Jonah Hill situation~!Article: Dear Therapist: My Daughter’s Boundaries Are Preventing Us From Having a Relationship by Lori GottliebP.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host
2023-08-31
38 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Parenting your partner
This Isn't Therapy... this is a conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationship burnout. We'll also talk about the origins of these caring behaviours and discuss the difference between...
2023-08-24
48 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Phubbing 🤳🏼
This Isn’t Therapy… it’s a discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it’s allegedly the smartphone. 📲🤳🏼👀Article discussed: As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up by Andrew SofinLink to the study: Mor...
2023-08-17
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
FOMO
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about the common fear of missing out, otherwise known as FOMO. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about FOMO through the lens of the group chat: Getting kicked out of them, being left out of the formation of a new one, or not being invited into them at all. They talk about how a certain app popular with teens is making this issue even more complicated and discuss the dangers of needing to be constantly online, tapped in, and worried about missing something. Plus, stay tuned to the end of the ep...
2023-08-10
39 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Help! My therapist broke up with me...
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one! P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Si...
2023-08-03
47 min
This Isn’t Therapy
A couple living in denial
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about being in denial. I’m not in denial, you are! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack this common psychological defence mechanism - why someone might be in denial, where it might stem from, and how this shows up in couples. They also dip their toe in the waters of couple therapy and provide some insight into how couples therapy works by following up with Casey and Sarah (our resident case study couple!), who are going through a rough patch in their relationship. P.S. Jake and Simon start a de...
2023-07-27
52 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Hot takes, problem spotting, and faking expertise
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary!A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let problems be problems rather...
2023-07-20
44 min
This Isn’t Therapy
People Pleasing
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof. Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeS...
2023-07-13
39 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Coping with humor 🤡
This Isn't Therapy... it's the grand opening of the Ha-Ha Chuckle Hut! Just kidding. It's the conversation about deflecting and coping with humor. In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about the ups and downs of using humor to cope with the things we don't want to feel.Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon
2023-05-11
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Feeling content with life
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about slowing down, baby. How do you know when things are good? How do you embrace feeling content with where you're at? Remember hobbies? What are those!?! TELL US!! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chit chat through two lovely listener stories about finding stillness. What happens when things are...fine and there's no fixing, meddling, or deeper work to do?PS- send us fan art okay thank u 😘 Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on...
2023-05-04
32 min
This Isn’t Therapy
"Doing isn't being."
This Isn't Therapy... it's the follow-up to last week's convo about thinking vs. doing. This week, we're talking about doing vs. being-- another paradox we are made to sit with as humans who feel things. In this episode, Jake and SImon unpack submissions from the lovely listeners about how to know when things are good and content. They share three stories from y'all about how to embrace feeling content with where we're at and how to tell when there's no fixing, meddling, or deeper work to do.Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck...
2023-04-27
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
“Thinking isn’t doing.”
This Isn't Therapy... it’s an episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applying it. Jake also shares an actionable script to help the Lovely Listeners find action when stuck in cycles of overthinking. CHUNK IT AND DO IT!!!Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host H...
2023-04-20
42 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Taking The Mental Health of Boys Seriously
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the mental health of boys. Declining graduation rates, decreasing sperm counts and testosterone levels, and fewer close friendships. Yikes! In this episode of the pod, we're chatting through the irrefutable evidence that men and boys are struggling in unprecedented ways.Sources: "Taking the mental health of boys seriously" by Jake Ernst (...I don't know her...?)Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan...
2023-04-13
51 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Therapy taught me...
This isn't therapy... it's the episode about therapy breakthroughs. The therapeutic "aha!" is known to many as the nugget of therapy gold that taught us something new, changed our perspective on something, or unlocked a new layer of growth. In this episode, Jake and Simon share therapy breakthroughs from the Lovely Listeners. Tune in for a discussion about the things therapy taught us (or technically-- you)!Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan...
2023-04-06
45 min
This Isn’t Therapy
The rise in therapy language
This Isn't Therapy...but this is an episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want to miss, mmmmmkay?Articles:TIME: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You're Misusing by Angela HauptThe New York Times: How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating by Dani BlumCreators & Guests
2023-03-30
43 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Self-Diagnosis: Is it valid?
This isn't therapy... it's the episode about self-diagnosis. In this episode, Jake and Simon pull back the curtain on diagnosis and ask if we can truly give ourselves a mental health diagnosis. Jake and Simon read two very different perspectives, submitted by two licensed therapists, and discuss the pros and cons of self-diagnosis. In the final segment, Jake shares how he approaches self-diagnosis in his work as a therapist.Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episod...
2023-03-23
47 min
This Isn’t Therapy
How loneliness reshapes the brain
This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue conversation about the crisis of connection and loneliness. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about a recent study which captured the changes in the brain due to isolation and loneliness. They also discuss the finding that exposure to social experiences alone do not resolve the crisis of connection -- that is, exposing lonely individuals to more social relationships is not the way forward. They also talk about another funny finding about flamingos and how they choose their friendships and partners. Article referenced: 1. How Loneliness Reshapes The Brain2. Flamingos...
2023-03-16
35 min
This Isn’t Therapy
The Future of Therapy (AI, VR, & Web 3.0)
This Isn't Therapy...this is a prediction episode about the future of therapy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how Artificial Intelligence (AI), Virtual Reality (VR), and Web 3.0 (what!?!) and how they may (or may already be!) impacting therapy for therapists and clients alike. Jake and Simon also discuss what Americans are saying about the use of AI chatbots in therapy and react to a recent comment from the Talkspace CEO that AI can improve therapist performance and boost quality of care. Articles referenced:1. 60% of Americans Would Be Uncomfortable With Provider Relying on AI...
2023-03-09
52 min
This Isn’t Therapy
What are my needs? (Part 2)
This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desire and Mimetic Rivalries. How do we know if our needs are being met? This is a must-listen episode!Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck...
2023-03-02
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
What are my needs? (Part 1)
This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?! Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck
2023-02-23
36 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Dating apps, hook up culture and situationships
This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana GuptaCreators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast
2023-02-16
39 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Am I falling behind?
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a delicious conversation about healthy ways of measuring progress in life. Jake and Simon chat about the common fear of falling behind in life and hear from two lovely listeners about their experiences with comparing, despairing, awfulizing, and catastrophizing. They also talk about how it relates to hustle culture and sets the conditions for self-diagnosis. There is lots to discuss with this ✨therapy theme✨!Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixe...
2023-02-09
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Rugged Individualism (via Shrek)
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the long-awaited episode about r̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶-i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶i̶s̶m̶ SHREK. Okay, okay, okay, we admit, this is just an excuse to talk about the seminal film, and character of the same name, SHREK. Yes, Shrek. The rugged individualist of our time. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the concept of rugged individualism, the myth and unhelpful belief that we should be able to do it all on our own. We’re digging deep and peeling back the many layers of this onion! J...
2023-02-02
35 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Pity, pity, pity
This Isn't Therapy...but this is a fun, flirty, and fab conversation about pity (and her twin sister grandiosity).Through two lovely listener stories, Jake and Simon explore the very human behaviour of downward comparison ("I feel sorry for you" vs. "I'm sooOOoo glad I'm not you"). Ever compare yourself to someone's vacation pics and think "I would NEVER do that" ? Or run into an old friend you lost touch with and leave that interaction glad that "you didn't turn out like them?" It's okay! We won't judge! We all do it! Let's talk about it :) Creators...
2023-01-26
37 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Perfectionism vs. Healthy Striving
This isn't therapy... it's a fun, flirty, fab conversation about our friend perfectionism. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two submissions from the lovely listeners about comparison and needing things to be perfect. Jake shares three essential ingredients for healthy striving, the ultimate antidote to comparing from a place of perfectionism. Let's dive in. :-)Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck
2023-01-19
41 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Picking Your “Word of the Year”
Happy New Year, lovelies! This isn’t therapy… it’s the first episode of 2023! Grab your pens and pencils because in this episode, Jake and Simon are helping you put in the work. Through an important conversation about values, Jake and Simon talk about how to take effective action in your life by picking a Word of the Year.James Clear’s “Core Values List”Brene Brown’s “List of Values”Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck
2023-01-12
50 min
This Isn’t Therapy
"Forced Fun"
This isn't therapy... it's an episode about the end of "Forced Fun" in the workplace. Jake and Simon discuss a BBC article that discusses how "the pandemic put an end to required birthday cupcakes, team happy hours, and 'forced fun’ activities." Jake and Simon chat about whether forcing fun is good or bad for our cultures at work and what we can do to solve the problem of forced fun. Article: The death of 'mandatory fun' in the office by Kate MorganFollow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Epi...
2022-07-07
32 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Busting therapy myths
This isn't therapy, but it *is* a conversation about common myths about therapy. Jake and Simon asked their lovely listeners to submit their need-to-know questions about therapy without holding back. Jake and Simon answer questions such as: Do therapists have favourite clients? Do therapists have therapists? What happens if a therapist is sexually attracted to a client? You didn't hold back, so neither did they!Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
2022-04-15
46 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Can I be friends with my therapist?
This isn't therapy but this is an episode about the difference between social relationships and therapeutic relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about an article by Megan Wildhood who suggests that "the professionalization of mental health services is ruining friendships," (2021). They talk about the history of the helping profession and interrogate the claim that therapy is ruining friendships. P.S. Jake and Simon are joined by special guest Brandon the Therapy Frog!Article: "The professionalization of mental health services is ruining friendships," by Megan Wildhood (2021).Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @ms...
2021-02-25
38 min
This Isn’t Therapy
The First Session
This isn't therapy but it is an episode about the first session in therapy. Jake and Simon talk about contacting a therapist for the first time and finding your therapeutic match. Tune in to hear about Simon's first impressions of the first session!Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
2020-11-05
37 min
This Isn’t Therapy
Avoiding big feelings
This isn’t therapy but this is a conversation about avoiding feelings. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss the second set of stories submitted via the previous prompt about vulnerability. Jake and Simon dive deep into a story about being the “strong partner” in a relationship and another about learning to cry.Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcastJake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon Episode mixed by Jordan PaluckClosed Captioning Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EChNkNeWEIQ&t=4s
2020-08-28
32 min