Shows
Moments Matter81: Beginnings and Endings (Our Last Episode)Join Sonja and Julia for one last episode about the beginnings and endings of seasons. :) We love you all, thank you for listening in. 2023-10-0826 min
Moments Matter80: Dear Younger Me (From Me at 51 Years Old) I turned 51 the other day, and it was hard. For some reason 50 seemed easier than 51. Today I talk about what I would tell myself I was 25 again. Can you think of what YOU would say if you could go back and talk to your 25 yourself? It's important to think about how God changes us and heals us through the years, and as women we should think of how far God has brought us as we get older. It's good to remember all the amazing lessons you learned along the way as we recognize we're getting older. Join me in...2023-09-2033 min
Moments Matter79. How to Cheer On Your High School Senior or College Freshman From the Sidelines It's so hard to be on the sidelines when your high schooler is doing all the "lasts" you do as a senior. It's possibly even harder to wait for that first phone call (or even just a text) from your college freshman who you haven't seen in a month. Today I'm asking how you're doing with these changes and listing crucial ways to cheer your child on as they step into adulthood in these next few years. I know how hard it is to see them in these new transitions, and sometimes it can be difficult to k...2023-09-1332 min
Moments Matter78: How Do You Listen to the Holy Spirit? How do you know if He is speaking to you? Sonja and Julia discuss the mysteries of how the Holy Spirit works in our lives. While Julia is hesitant to say she knows how to listen to the Holy Spirit, Sonja discusses the experiences in her own life that have lead her to understand His voice. Are you listening? Are you looking for the nudge? There's a bit of a disagreement on today's episode about whether or not the Holy Spirit is speaking to us using a voice. Is it just about feeling? How do we actually h...2023-09-0633 min
Moments Matter77: Measures of Grace: When God Gives Your Child a Diagnosis You Can't Change | ft. Jennifer Ouderkirk “I can’t describe how different he had become in that time when he realized he was different.” Jennifer Ouderkirk joins us today to tell her story of how God transformed her life when she had her son, Brandon, who was born with learning disabilities. She shares the heartbroken experiences God taught her during that time and how she learned to teach Brandon that God doesn't make mistakes. We as moms want to be able to fix the problem, we want to protect our children from difficult things, but we don't always have that choice. We must be able to let g...2023-08-3053 min
Moments Matter76: My Son-in-Laws Hijacked My Podcast! My 3 son-in-laws join me on today's episode! It was a blast to talk about what mother-in-law stereotypes I fill, how first impressions can be deceiving, and what it's like being a part of a close knit family. Are you a mother-in-law now or getting ready to become one soon? There's so many ways to have a good relationship with your son-in-law or daughter-in-law and here's just a few insights into my past experiences and what my son-in-laws have to say about how I've managed so far. 2023-08-2356 min
Moments Matter75: Seven Tips for the Empty Nester Dreading the End of Summer The fall season is just around the corner and that used to mean "back to school," but now it just means... what? For the empty nester, fall means something different than it meant all those years of school supplies, new clothes, and a new calendar.What does it mean for the empty nester now and how can we mitigate the depression that might start to creep up as we think of what used to be (or having to say goodbye to our college-age kids)? Sonja discusses some practical tips to make this next season more bearable and...2023-08-1630 min
Moments Matter74: How You Can Make a Difference in a Teen's Life and High School Memoirs Sonja travels back in time to when she was in high school and reminisces of the 80s and what it was like going to a small Christian school as a teenager. Between an awful car accident that changed her freshman year of high school to a wonderful youth pastor and his wife who mentored her, we had a lot to discuss today! We hope you're encouraged by our discussion on how you can make a difference–and how every moment really matters in those formative years. 2023-08-0945 min
Moments Matter73: How to Make Really Hard Decisions Using Your Heart, Head, and Gut Do you feel absolutely stuck over a decision you're making right now? Everyone has hard decisions to make and oftentimes it feels like you can't win either way, but what if we had a blueprint for making those kinds of decisions with confidence? Today Sonja discusses what we can do on a practical level to use our heart, our head, and our gut in our decision-making process to stop the constant back-and-forth. There are seasons when you feel like you can't make a difficult decision, and instead of giving you empty promises that "whatever decision you make w...2023-08-0227 min
Moments Matter72: Grandma's Survival Toolkit: Birth, Babysitting, and Boundaries | Interview with Ashli PrieskornWhat's expected of you when your daughter or son is having a baby? When should you help them out and when should you give them their space? All these questions (and more!) run around in your head when you become a grandma. It's a whole different ballgame with a different set of boundaries. We have Ashli Prieskorn, Sonja’s daughter, to help us with this discussion on expectations for the birth and beyond. How do we communicate with our children about THEIR children? 2023-07-2749 min
Moments Matter71. Long Engagements, Yay or Nay? The Highs and Lows of Big Decisions | Interview with Jenna Dalton For mothers and daughters (and sons), the engagement and wedding process is a tricky one riddled with highs and lows. JennaLyn Dalton, Sonja's youngest daughter, joins us today to tell her story of how she came to the decision to move up her wedding date by almost 8 whole months and what her relationship with her parents looked like on that journey.Have your sons or daughters considered long engagements? If so, what are the pros and cons? We dive into the many challenges that come along with deciding when to get married and how to have conversations a...2023-07-1953 min
Moments Matter70: How to Know if You're Manipulating Your Adult Kids Into Getting What You Want Moms, we must be aware of how we treat our adult children! Are we passive aggressive, do we guilt them into doing things we want them to do, do we manipulate and manuever situations to get the outcome we desire? An even better question: how do we know if we're doing this?Today we talk about what it means to depend on your kids for your happiness and how that feeds into the way you act toward them and love them. It's time to wake up and be the best mom we can be to our adult...2023-07-0531 min
Moments Matter69: When Your Adult Kids Are Having Marital Problems Everything in your bones says that you are on YOUR kid's side when they are having problems with their spouse. Your heart wants to instantly think that it's your daughter- or son-in-law's fault and that your child is the innocent party in whatever marital problems they are having. Today we consider what it looks like to be a supportive and loving parent to a child who is going through marital issues. Everyone goes through difficult seasons, and it's up to you decide how you're going to treat your kids as they walk through life's rough journeys. What is a...2023-06-2837 min
Moments Matter68: What to Do When You Feel Like a Forgotten Mom of Adult Children "We have an army of forgotten moms trying to navigate their changing roles with their adult children... and don’t know where to turn." Do you feel forgotten as a mom of adult children? There were all these resources for moms when you were a mother of little toddlers, but now the help and community seems few and far between. Today we tackle an article written by Pamela Henkelman that gives some amazing advice on how to encourage "the forgotten moms" in the thick of parenting adult children.When you don't know where to turn, we've got yo...2023-06-2135 min
Moments Matter67: How Your Bible Reading Can Impact Your Children's Lives Today "It may have seemed disappointing to us at the time–my papa who I saw only a few times a year–shushing us chatty little girls to read a book. But it made me wonder what all the fuss was about? Did it really matter that much, reading the Bible and praying?" Julia gets on the podcast to give a child's perspective on how a parent's relationship with God can impact a child's life whether or not they see it as helpful in the moment. She discusses the importance of having a relationship with the Lord, and how she came...2023-06-1428 min
Moments Matter66: 30 Years and Counting: A Letter To My Daughters I confess I had a fight with Kevin very recently that reminded me of who I used to be and how far God has brought me since then. It's something I want not only all of my listeners to hear, but especially my 3 daughters. God can fill your life with redemptive grace, amen? Today I talk vulnerably about the imperfections that I still face even today, and I do a deep dive into some of my health struggles and what I've been working through for most of my life. There are such hard things that happen, and it's crazy to...2023-06-0732 min
Moments Matter65: Make the Best Use of Your Summer, Outdoor Floral Aesthetics, and Moving Your Body Don't look back at the end of the summer and say you didn't do anything! Let's dive deep into how to have the best summer ever with these 5 intentions. Sonja and Julia discuss 5 ways (we won't call them goals, we promise!) in which we can be productive and fun this summer without getting too caged in. Sonja talks about "fluid documents," how to set intentions, and make the best of your summer no matter if you're an empty nester or in your 20s. Join them for this fun discussion around summertime productivity. 2023-05-3136 min
Moments Matter64: When Your Kids Want Nothing to Do With Your Faith What do you do when your kids want nothing to do with your faith? The hardest journey to tread is being a Christian parent to an unbeliever. Your heart aches for them, your desire is that they would hear the truth and know it, but you don't know how to handle the day-to-day reality. How much time do you invest in them, what does it look like to love them well, am I enabling them when I help them? There are so many questions that go through your mind, and Sonja discusses some possible steps to take when walking...2023-05-2437 min
Moments Matter63: What It Takes to Have Great Relationships with Your Adult Kids Motherhood is not an easy road, and it starts to look different as your kids grow older. Sonja and Julia discuss what it actually takes to have good relationships with your adult kids (and with your parents as adult children). If you're wondering how to have thriving relationships with you adult children, you have to be willing to put in the work and grow yourself to become the mom that your kids want to be around when they're older. So, what DOES it take? It's not an easy job to be a mom of adult children, and if you're...2023-05-1747 min
Moments Matter62: An Unpopular Opinion About Mother's Day Mother's Day is not always all it's cracked up to be. Sonja and Julia discuss the history of Mother's Day and why it started in the first place and they ask the question who is Mother's Day really for? Is it still for the mothers who have become grandmas? Is it necessary at all? We dive into the woes of Mother's Day as well as what it SHOULD look like for those mamas who are in the trenches with little ones.- What expectations should one have for Mother's Day if your kids are out of the...2023-05-1037 min
Moments Matter61: Moments Really Do Matter: Intentionality, Dad's Video, and Coffees at Play Practice The small moments add up. Today, Julia reminisces about some of the moments that really stood out to her as a child... whether she knew the reason for why it stood out or not! She talks about the moments that really shaped her, encouraged her, and gave her confidence. What does it look like to to be faithful to your children and how can you implement that now? 2023-05-0322 min
Moments Matter60: Preparing Your Kids for Big Transitions: Middle School, High School, and Beyond Middle school can be a huge transition, how do you prepare your child for something like that? Changes can be hard, and not every child reacts the same way. Sonja thinks back to yesteryear when she was caring for three elementary girls and gives us 5 simple ways to help your kids make smooth transitions. We talk about how to have productive conversations with your child about their thoughts and expectations surrounding middle school and high school and what it looks like to have a good listener as a mom. 2023-04-2739 min
Moments Matter59: Praying for Rain in the Rainy Season "Pray for rain in a season of rain. The Lord makes the rainclouds and He will give them showers of rain..." What does it look like to pray for rain in a season of rain? Sonja and Julia discuss a different way to look at being thankful for what you have in a season of blessing. We talk about what it looks like to take things for granted and how easily we can be apathetic towards what we have. Join us in the conversation and consider what it might look like for you to pray for rain in the...2023-04-1932 min
Moments Matter58: The Vital Necessity to Having Deeper Relationships with Your Kids If you don’t already have good communication in your family it is difficult to start, but for the sake of your family and future generations it is vital. Sonja talks about how her and Kevin communicated the big things to their girls when the time was right and how they shared what they did. What does it look like to say the things we know we need to tell our children? We talk about how secrets can eventually lead to trust issues with your adult kids, and how to handle that before it gets to a point of co...2023-04-1241 min
Moments Matter57: 5 Steps for When Your Adult Child Makes a Shocking Decision "You can't marry a man you just met."... or can you?Every mom will have that day when her adult child comes to her and tells her they made a decision–a decision she did not see coming. Have you had that day yet? Sometimes it's just laughable, but other times it can be painfully life changing when your adult child makes a decision you do not agree with... or a decision that seems crazy. Julia tells the story of when she met Caleb and their rapid romance that surprised Sonja and Kevin and left them with a...2023-04-0535 min
Moments Matter56: Dear Mom, Thanks for Teaching Us Modesty Back Then Because It Still Matters Today (Part 2) The word "modesty" seems old-fashioned and cringe-worthy now, doesn't it? It almost feels like an overused, abused word to mean: "rules matter most." We're here to take a different approach. We welcome Sonja's two other daughters back on the show today to finish our "Dear Mom" discussion on what we think of modesty today. What is modesty really, and should we be pursuing it? Who's body is it, anyway? What does it look like when you're married? Some quick highlights include:- Moms who already have kids grown up, what should we do as we l...2023-03-2938 min
Moments Matter55: Dear Mom, Growing Up "Modest" Had Its Highs and Lows (Part 1) All 3 of Sonja's daughters get on the podcast with her today to talk about their experience with all-things modesty growing up. We deep dive on a rollercoaster (laden with tension AND humor) into some good memories, some not-so-great memories, and some memories we'd rather forget! See the up-close dynamics of what 3 sisters went through growing up in a great Christian church that had its flaws and living in a Christian family (that also had its flaws!). Part 1 of this conversation includes a lot about the growing up years and what the 3 daughters thought about how we dressed vs. Sonja's...2023-03-221h 01
Moments Matter54: What Are My Kids Responsible For? Bad Attitudes, Chores, and Consequences What are tweens and teens actually responsible for? As they get older, should we give them consequences, or should we just let them deal with the natural consequences of their choices? We talk about how bad Julia and her sisters' attitudes were when it came to doing chores around the house and how Sonja's battle was uphill the entire way. Tune in to hear us talk about questions like: how much do we interfere with homework, do you let their poor choices affect the whole family? 2023-03-1540 min
Moments Matter53: Sonja's Journey to Israel, One Piece of Bark, and Having Real Faith Join us as Sonja brings us on a ride of the many places she and Kevin visited while in Israel. Have you ever experienced walking where Jesus walked? She talks about her time there, what God taught her, and gives us an amazing reminder of faith and assurance as we talk about the many things she experienced. From riding camels to watching travelers of all sorts trying to find the truth in a modernized, historic place, her adventure was worth every minute and she's excited to encourage all of you in YOUR walk with Jesus. 2023-03-0844 min
Moments Matter52: Being Fruitful: Feminine Not Feminist Julia gets on by herself to talk about feminism, femininity, and what it looks like to be fruitful in every season of life. She talks about what her mom taught her about being feminine and what the obvious differences between being a man and a woman look like. But what about feminism? Are we, as Christians, supposed to be feminists? Does “being fruitful” always mean having children? She gives examples from women in her life that are extremely fruitful–married, unmarried, mothers, wives, grandmas, and mentors. 2023-02-2252 min
Moments Matter51: What in the World Do You Need? | Valentine's Edition with Kevin Wallenbeck His needs, her needs... we all have needs. Sonja welcomes Kevin, her husband, back to the show for a special Valentine's Day Edition! They talk about a tool that helped them learn each other's needs and values and how that shifted their marriage just a few years ago. It was like a light bulb moment had gone on! God designed us each with unique needs and values that fit our own personalities, and understanding each other in this way is a GAME CHANGER for any relationship. Listen as they talk about some fun stories... you'll also hear some insider...2023-02-1542 min
Moments Matter50: What We Can't Control As Moms We like to think we're in control of our kids' lives, but oftentimes we're not. We can do all the right things, say all the right things, and still our kids might do the wrong thing. We've talked a lot about do's and don'ts in other episodes, but on this one we're talking about the main things we're not in control of as mothers... whether we'd like to think we are or not. This is not any easy truth to admit, especially when it comes to the hard things like our kids' futures and their lives as adults. Today...2023-02-0837 min
Moments Matter49: The Wild Journey of Being the Wife of an Entrepreneur The early days of their marriage were rough, and Sonja had no idea what an "entrepreneur" was or how to love her husband well through it all. Walking through Kevin's multiple jobs when she had a baby or two on her hip was the last thing she wanted to do, and it made her doubt her husband and his ability to take care of them. Why think of another job idea before the other one has just begun? It drove her crazy not to see the benefits she was hoping for and produced a lot of friction in...2023-02-0145 min
Moments Matter48: Julia’s Story of Being an Angry Kid and Having a Jealous God Julia was kind of an angry kid... but she lived in an environment of God's love where her parents and school teachers were teaching her about Christ for all of her childhood. She tells her story today about some deep-seated issues she had of entitlement and when it all changed for her and she realized where her true satisfaction comes from. God is a jealous God, and He used this in her life to teach her about what true love looks like even though she really isn't entitled to it all. 2023-01-2541 min
Moments Matter47: How to Become a Better You When You're Not Super "Goal-Oriented" Setting goals in middle age is difficult, and today we get on the podcast today to talk about how Sonja was never a "goal-oriented" person. Because of this, she would get discouraged every new year because it seemed like she never really had mile markers to remind her how she'd changed over the year. When she began to create action steps that she could focus on month to month, everything changed.- What Sonja did to achieve goals without being a "goal-oriented person"- How many days it takes to build a habit...2023-01-1834 min
Moments Matter46: Choosing a Word for the Year and How It’s Changed Our Family Why a “word” of the year? Most of our family–consisting of 8 adults–chooses a “word” for the year, and we've done it for a while now. It all started as a social media trend–but now it's a staple part of our family's year. We talk about how it started, how it’s going, and how we’re evolving the word of the year to create more meaning for our year than we have in the past. A word for the year might be trendy, but it’s convinced even the most skeptical of us that it’s helpful Is there a dif...2023-01-1133 min
Moments Matter45: Don’t Take it Personally and Other Fun Stuff Moms Need to Hear About Traditions We really just shot in the dark with this one (it’s the holidays, we’re busy, too!), so it’s a fun conversation about traditions, gift giving, and making the season truly mean something for your family. What can you do to be more intentional to love your adult kids well? What does making a Christmas list have to do with personalities? Here’s to our incredibly random episode where we came up with these topics on the fly: Why the gift giving and receiving might be a stressor Changing holiday traditions with your adult kids when they get m...2022-12-1437 min
Moments Matter44: They'll Be Home For Christmas... If Only In My Dreams This episode is for whenever your kids aren't home for the holidays... You know that awful, painful experience when your kids become adults and you don't see them for those special days... yes, I (Sonja) know it well, too. So what should you do? How do you handle your emotions? Here's what Julia and I talk about today: When your kids don’t come home for the holidays How to emotionally respond as a mother in law to holidays What it looks like to be okay during the holidays AND miss your kids An encouragement to the moms with ki...2022-12-0737 min
Moments Matter43: Holidays Don't Start and End With Your Adult Kids Coming and Going, Do They? Do your holidays start and end with your adult kids coming and going? Whether you have kids coming home or it's just the two of you this year, it's important to be intentional with your spouse and enjoy the holidays. Here's what Sonja talks about on today's episode: What does empty nesting look like during the Christmas season? Conversations you need to have with your spouse before your kids show up Making Christmas intentional for the two of youHandling possible depression after your kids leave and Christmas is over 2022-12-0134 min
Moments Matter42: Being Thankful for What You Have and Why It Matters Even When It's Hard When was the last time you listed off what you were thankful for? Did it have an impact on you? I know that some of you are going through difficult, hard things as the holidays begin. I know that it'll take a deep breath just to get through the moments. So today, I'm being vulnerable as I get on the podcast all by myself!If you're having a dark day or you're struggling as the holidays begin or maybe you're just not in the right mindset yet to really have wonderful Big Moments this season, I hope t...2022-11-2330 min
Moments Matter41: The Best Thing You Can Do As You Become An Empty Nesting Mom What do you do as an empty nester? How do you keep going with the house so quiet all the time? I (Sonja) share an amazing experience I had just a few weeks ago and how it truly showed me that empty nesting can be a good season of life, too. In today's episode we talk about what you can do as a mom just gearing up to be an empty nester and how to make it significant when it's happened. God has created you for many purposes and roles in life, all with the same identity: in Christ. It's f...2022-11-1636 min
Moments Matter40: The Family Table and How It Will Keep On Giving For Years to Come The most important piece of furniture in your home is (arguably) the family dinner table. Today we talk about when I (Sonja) and Kevin turned off the TV and started eating at the table and how it changed our family relationships–and how it still has an affect today! We argue that cultivating healthy relationships with your kids starts while eating a meal together. We talk about: How to start eating at the table with your kids even if you've never done it before (awkwarddd)Why it's PIVOTAL in family bondingThe ways it keeps on giving (even when you...2022-11-0942 min
Moments Matter39: 5 Tips for When Your Adult Kids Come Home for the Holidays Are you one of those moms that has to make the holidays as wonderful as possible for when your adult kids come home? It can be stressful, and sometimes you can burnout and get to the end of the time and not have enjoyed it at all! I (Sonja) have been there, and since then I've collected 5 tips that are absolute MUSTS at our home now for when "Camp Christmas" begins and our children (and grandchildren) arrive. If you're ready to tackle the holidays and actually enjoy yourself this year, listen in on today's episode to find o...2022-11-0245 min
Moments Matter38: Should I Care About My Appearance? Too often we find ourselves caring about what other people think of us–and that means we can care too much about my appearance. When I (Sonja) think back to when I first had kids, my "appearance" took way too much time and energy, but I thought people would look down on me if I didn't spend the time dressing up. I share some stories from the past and from more recently of how I've dealt with it all.- How much SHOULD we care about our appearance?- What is an unhealthy balance and what...2022-10-2648 min
Moments Matter37: Building New Foundations with Your College Kid as They Become a New Person | Interview with Brooke Sheesley Brooke Sheesley, our guest and Sonja's best friend, took her daughter to college after years of raising her as a single mom and today she gets on the podcast to tell us about the experience of dropping her off at college and then coming back a few months later to realize her daughter had grown up, changed, and become someone she had get to know in a new light. Brooke talks about how she had to learn to build different foundations for their relationship. When her daughter came back home for the summer after her first year, the...2022-10-1940 min
Moments Matter36: Don't Waste Your Empty Nest Years, Technology Addictions, and Living in Seasons As you begin the journey of empty nesting, you may find you can make yourself way too busy or you feel completely paralyzed from doing anything whatsoever. Why is that? Sonja dives into what her empty nesting process has been, what she could have done differently in the beginning, and how she’s struggling now. Julia gives her some questions to think deeply about where she’s at right now… what IS her purpose now… or is that the question she should be really asking? What is the purpose of an empty nester as you take on new role...2022-10-1245 min
Moments Matter35: Life Lessons with Sonja: Careers, Car Accidents, and the 80's Sonja turned 50! So in honor of her birthday, Julia wanted to get real and raw by asking her 10 questions that she hadn't heard before we started recording. We have some laughs, but we also receive some pearls of wisdom from a woman who has lived through some difficult seasons and come out the other side still trusting in the Lord. Would she change even the worst of circumstances and darkest seasons?If you want to hear about family vacations, terrible car accidents, and the million different jobs Sonja had growing up in the 80s, tune in on t...2022-10-0547 min
Moments Matter34: How Do I Prepare My Kids to Handle Money? Learning Value, Getting Jobs, and Giving Generously It's never too early (or too late) to teach your kids the value of money. Whether they're in middle school or they're adults and living on their own, you are an example to your children about what kind of legacy you want to leave when it comes to finances. Today we discuss Sonja and Kevin's early life with very little money, how they modeled the value of money to their kids, and what practical steps they took to show their kids how to handle their own finances. Kevin and Sonja started out with less than nothing–lots of debt!–and t...2022-09-2850 min
Moments Matter33: How to NOT Become a Bitter Old Woman By Detecting Unhealthy Patterns Now We all have unhealthy patterns–are we aware of them, though? No one wants to become a bitter old woman later in life, but that's not always the case.Today, we're talking about the unhealthy patterns and WHY they might be happening... and how to change them. It's not easy to let yourself be more self aware of what might be going on in the day-to-day conflict of life, but it's necessary to flourish and grow and enjoy your life (and have others enjoy you, too!). We dig deeper in the Enneagram and the Harmony Triad–are YOU a...2022-09-2141 min
Moments Matter32: Roles in Marriage, Being Aware of Generational Expectations, + Who Does the Laundry in the Creepy Basement Let's talk about traditional roles in marriage (and how they change in different seasons of marriage). It's a bit of a hot topic, but we should be having conversations about what a husband and wife do on a day-to-day basis to make the house run well. As empty nesters, Sonja and Kevin are reevaluating who does what chores and what roles they have, which made her realize she hasn't ever had a conversation with her girls about what we should do about traditional roles in the home. Here's what we discuss:- Why many women get that "t...2022-09-1445 min
Moments Matter31: How to Teach Your Kids to Love God (and Read the Bible) You can't force your kids or your teens or even your adult children to love God, but can you teach them and train them how to do love God? Sonja and Julia talk about the practical ways Julia was trained as a child and teenager to love the Lord and to read her Bible. We are not perfect and we don't know all the answers, but people ask how Sonja and Kevin raised girls that love the Lord and desire to do His will. Each of them were taught to read the Bible and to love what Sc...2022-09-0735 min
Moments Matter30: How Do I Honor My Parents Now That I'm An Adult? How do I honor my parents as an adult? I have my own life, my own family, my own opinions about what is best... and they have opinions about what is best, too! We're all children of someone, which means that the command in Ephesians 6 is still applicable to us who are over the age of 21 (we'll just go with the age that society acknowledges you are an adult). We are told in the Bible to honor our father and our mother, but what does that look like for me as an adult who makes my own deci...2022-08-3143 min
Moments Matter29: Who Am I Without My Kids? Empty Nesting, Purpose, and True Identity When you have kids in the house, it's easy to get sucked into doing all the things–being a wife, mom, and the many jobs that come along with those roles–and to stop growing in Christ because you're too busy. But when this happens and we become empty nesters, we find ourselves at a loss for what our purpose truly is. We've been a mom all our lives, and now that our kids are out of the house, do we really have an identity anymore? Sonja faced all these questions when her girls left the house and s...2022-08-2431 min
Moments Matter28: Stop Trying to "Fit In", Finding True Friendship, and Dealing With Seasons of Loneliness Friendship is hard no matter what age you are. We all want friends, and for a lot of women, it can be hard to find good, Godly friends who encourage you and lift you up. Sonja has gone through multiple "friendship breakups" and has been hurt (and has hurt others) multiple times. We talk about the fact that yes–friends hurt us and we hurt our friends. What do we do then? And what about the seasons of life when we feel alone? Here's what we discuss: - The difference between "serving" and "people-pleasing" - Do y...2022-08-1749 min
Moments Matter27: How to Handle Taking Your Kid to College + That Final “Rearview Mirror Wave” What do we do with our emotions when we take our kids to college? Do you have those feelings of letting your little child (who probably isn't little now) head off to college without you? It could be the first time or the last time, but it's still hard (Sonja knows, she's been there). We talk about how to handle the big emotions that come with this Big Moment and answer these questions:- What if I just want it all to be over with already?- How do I handle the deep sadness I'm fe...2022-08-0940 min
Moments Matter26: Listening to God's Voice: Obedience, Moving States Away, Doing Hard Things Have you ever disobeyed the Lord's leading? Sonja has, and she talks about specific times in her life when listening to the Lord's voice meant doing the hard thing. She grapples with the idea of "partial obedience" and what that truly means... is it really a thing?Is God calling you to do something you've been pushing against or have you ignored Him before? Life only gets harder when we start going our own way. Sonja talks about what it looked like her for when she disobeyed, and then when she finally listened to what God was le...2022-08-0344 min
Moments Matter25: When My Adult Child is Dating Someone I Don't Like Julia dated a guy Sonja and Kevin did NOT like (actually two guys, but that's not the point). What do YOU do when your adult child is dating someone you don't like? What if they are married to someone you don't like? We're diving into some of these tough questions today. We discuss:- Julia and Sonja's experience with Julia dating someone her parents didn't like- How to respond to your adult child when they are dating that person you dislike- What to do and what NOT to do...2022-07-2743 min
Moments Matter24: Why Is It So Hard to Ask for Help? Survivor Mode, Stress, and Vulnerability Why is it SO hard to ask for help? As women, we're told to be strong and we're told we can do it all... but can we really do it all? Why do we HAVE to do it all? Is that really biblical? Sonja teaches about what happens when you fall into "Survivor Mode," and what that looks like whether you are a head, heart, or gut person. We talk about vulnerability, asking for help, community, and what being strong REALLY means as a Godly woman. FREE GUIDE: go to bigmomentmentor.com/victory to learn the...2022-07-2036 min
Moments Matter23: Dear Mom, Thanks For The Standards You Set On Dating, Boys, and Sex Are strict rules really necessary for dating? What about talking to your kids about sex? What about your adult kids dating? Sonja's 3 daughters, Julia, Ashli Prieskorn, and Jenna Dalton, overtake the podcast today to spill all about what Sonja and Kevin did during their high school years all the way up until all 3 of them them got married. We get to tell some of our horror stories as well as some of our great experiences on the rollercoaster (or really, battle ground!) that is American dating.I (Julia) remember when my girl friends used to say, "You ta...2022-07-131h 07
Moments Matter22: What You Probably Don't Want to Hear About Being a Grandparent It’s so hard to NOT have an opinion when you become a grandparent–and Sonja gets real honest about what a grandparent should really be focusing on (hint: and it ISN'T their own opinion). Have you ever wondered what your role is now that you’re the parent of parents? All grandparents struggle with what to say, when to say it, or if to say it at all when they disagree with their kids’ parenting styles. . So what SHOULD we do as grandparents? We discuss:The truth about having an opinion and what to do about itRealizing that it’...2022-07-0744 min
Moments Matter21: 3 Lessons I Wish I Would Have Taught My Kids Before They Left the House If Sonja could go back and teach her kids these 3 lessons, she would. They would have had an easier transition from home to college and from college to marriage, and she spills her mistakes on today's episode. If you are still in the teenager stage, you may want to consider teaching these valuable lessons to your kids before they've moved out of the house! Even if they already have moved out though, it's never too late (and we talk about how it's never too late). We all have things we wish we would have done differently, and Sonja is ce...2022-06-2925 min
Moments Matter20: 4 Tips to Being a Mother-in-Law They Actually Like It’s time we change the stereotype of being “the annoying mother-in-law.” We all want to be loved by your kids' spouses and have good relationships with them, but it can get super tense when your adult children get married to someone you just don’t know that well. What can we do to relieve that tension and grow healthy relationships? We as Godly mother-in-laws need to be encouraging instead of feeding into or creating drama that might arise between your child’s spouse and you. Let’s be mother-in-laws that LOVE their daughter- and son-in-laws (and be mother-in...2022-06-2231 min
Moments Matter19: My Teenager Wants to Date, What Do I Do? “My kid wants to date. What do I do now?” The classic panic attack we probably all feel or have felt as parents. A lot of times it happens earlier than we expect! Sonja had 3 daughters who ALL dated in high school, and she has a lot of experience… things that worked really well (and things that didn’t). Julia sprinkles her opinions in there, too. Here’s what we discuss:The 3 different kinds of dating you can choose for YOUR teenTo date or not to date? What Sonja and Kevin decided for their girlsBoundaries? Why are those even necess...2022-06-1542 min
Moments Matter18: 4 Myths You Might Be Believing About Being or Having a One-On-One Mentor “Older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children…” Titus 2:4. Should WE be mentoring in the 21st century? What is a mentor and why are we commanded to mentor others? You might be asking yourself, “Wait, I’m not old enough or good enough to be a mentor, right?” Hm… Sonja and Julia talk about 4 myths that they’ve heard other women say about why they don’t mentor or don’t have a mentor (and some we’ve said ourselves and had to learn that they were lies!). We discuss:How old do you have to be to b...2022-06-0836 min
Moments Matter17: Telling Your Kids About Your Past, Staying Faithful, and The Day Our Marriage Almost Ended Pt. 2 | Interview with Kevin Wallenbeck Resolved to divorce, both Sonja and Kevin head to a church harvest party. We left you on that heavy cliffhanger last week, and in this episode, we’ll not only be telling the rest of the story, but we’ll also be explaining what it’s like to tell your adult kids about your sinful past and how God's glory can shine through it all. We discuss: ❤️ How Sonja and Kevin’s broken marriage healed💔 How they told their adult kids about their sinful past❣️The hardest thing Kevin’s ever had to do❤️🩹 Faithfu...2022-06-0144 min
Moments Matter16: Humble Beginnings, the Closet Hideaway, and the Day Our Marriage Almost Ended Pt. 1 | Interview with Kevin Wallenbeck We have our very first guest on Moments Matter today! And who other than Kevin Wallenbeck, Sonja’s husband and Julia’s dad? Sonja has been able to tell a lot of their background from her perspective, but we thought it would be insightful to our listeners (and hopefully encouraging) to hear Kevin’s perspective, as well. So we interview him about what their early marriage really looked like. We discuss:Kevin’s humble beginningsSonja’s dad’s answer to, “Can I marry your daughter?” when Kevin askedThe imperfections of their early marriageDisagreeing in front of your kids and what NOT to d...2022-05-2528 min
Moments Matter15: Will Your Kids Need to Recover From Emotionally Immature Parents? On average, 720 people will search “recovering from emotionally immature parents” on Google monthly. What does this mean? Adult children want healthy relationships with emotionally healthy parents. It certainly made us reflect on what parents can be doing to ensure they aren’t emotionally immature! We discuss:What defines emotionally immature parents Sonja’s story of emotional immaturity as a mom (and as a woman)The journey that Godly maturity truly isAre you taking responsibility for your own maturity as a parent?Defining maturity (responding vs. reacting)Steps to becoming more aware of your level of emotional maturityResources...2022-05-1830 min
Moments Matter14: 5 Ways to Make Graduation Enjoyable for Everyone (even you!) There’s a lot of emotions surrounding graduation. It’s an exciting time for your kid, but it’s an exhausting (and sad!) time for you. You want to be there and make everyone else happy, and all the while you're stressed and sometimes you can even be sad. There's so much going on–planning a grad party is hard work! Sonja has hosted 3 large high school grad parties and a smaller college grad party as well, and she's got tips! So hang on tight as we talk about:Super practical tips for high school graduation partiesAre you "just sur...2022-05-1131 min
Moments Matter13: "Mother Yourself Out of a Job"? (Desiring God Article Review) “Mother Yourself Out of a Job” is a wonderful article written by Michele Morin. Both Sonja and Julia agree that what she has to say is valuable for empty nesters (or those nearing that season). We summarize the article, talk about what we agreed with, and we discuss some statements she made that we ultimately don’t come to the same conclusion when parenting adult kids. Due to a difficult situation that we are in at that moment, we admit our heightened emotions surrounding a particular statement and why the two of us disagreed with a part of the...2022-05-0446 min
Moments MatterBonus: Teens and Technology Let's talk teens and technology. On this bonus episode, we're going to be talking about what Sonja did, what she wishes she had done, what she could have done better when it came to her 3 teenage daughters and their phones/laptops/tv. We talk about:- What boundaries Sonja and Kevin put in place (and what she wished she would have put in place)- Steps to protect your teen's purity in this world that is vying for their attention at such a vulnerable age- Phone calls/private messaging with the opposite...2022-05-0224 min
Moments Matter12: The Game-Changer: Using the Enneagram to See Our Sins Today we dive into how the Enneagram has personally affected both Sonja and Julia on our spiritual walks with the Lord. This tool has changed our lives and shown us sins we never realized we were struggling with. In this episode we talk about:How the Enneagram can help us become aware of the "why" behind our actions (good and bad)What sin struggles Sonja has had as an Enneagram 8What sin struggles Julia has had as an Enneagram 4How the Enneagram helped them see their sins and how it helps them in their daily life to change...2022-04-2734 min
Moments Matter11: Helping or Enabling? How to Bless Our Kids in Every Stage of Life What is the difference between helping your kids and enabling them? We give examples from Julia’s childhood all the way into adulthood and how Sonja and Kevin learned to bless their kids well through each stage of high school, college, and adult life. Blessing your kids can be moments filled with joy and wonder, but how do you do bless them well in whatever stage your kids are enabling them and/or stunting their growth? We answer that question in today’s episode!Also, we have a question for YOU in this episode and we’d love to...2022-04-2035 min
Moments Matter10: A Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding, Personalities, and Apologies Pt. 2 Sonja and Julia's relationship pretty much sucked during Julia’s engagement. Listen to part 2 of the Wedding Planning Process, where we get real honest today as we discuss how bad our relationship got for a while there. In Part 2 of the "Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding," we talk a LOT about why it's important to know yourself and try to understand each of your adult children in the way THEY need it, not in the way it worked for one of their other siblings. We dive deep into:Sonja's youngest daughter's wedding story and how it was SO...2022-04-1333 min
Moments Matter9: A Mom's Role in Her Child's Wedding, Budgeting, + The Screaming Match Pt. 1 There is so much STRESS involved in wedding planning, and it often revolves around relationships, finances, and… uh, well, relationships. We dive into some pretty vulnerable conversations about how Sonja handled all three of her daughters’ weddings and some practical ideas on what to do throughout the process (as the mother of the bride or groom). We cover:How Sonja and Kevin budgeted for each wedding and why it’s important to establish finances at the beginning of the planning processWhat expectations to talk through with your son or daughter when planning their weddingOne thing Sonja did for each o...2022-04-0638 min
Moments Matter8: "Good Luck With the Teenage Years," Other Self-Fulfilling Prophecies, + Should We Really Leave Our Teens Alone? Let’s not resign ourselves to the mindset that just because they are teenagers means they are automatically going to be awful for the next 6 years of your life. Sonja gets a little heated on today's episode as she argues that we can ENJOY the teenage years and how much your parenting matters not only in the moment, but for their future as adults! It just takes work (like all satisfying practices in life, btw). Sonja and Julia discuss these topics: - The reality is: if you say and think it'll be terrible, it certainly will be terri...2022-03-3034 min
Moments Matter7: Is It Worth Vacationing With Your Adult Kids? Expectations to Set, Conversations to Have, and More Is it really worth all the hassle of trying to vacation with your adult kids? Realistically, what does planning look like and how can you make it as SMOOTH as possible without as much tension, conflict, or drama? On this episode we discuss:- The best practical conversations to have BEFORE you plan a vacay with your adult kids- Why expectations should always be communicated and what expectations to set- What Sonja would say to the grandmas and grandpas planning a trip with their kids AND grandkids- #1 tip for...2022-03-2333 min
Moments Matter6: Facts, Fools, and Fiction: The Enneagram Remember how the Enneagram was a fad, like, last year? Well to be completely honest, the Enneagram has been around for a lot longer than 2021... or 2020 (should I even mention that year out loud 🥴?). So what are the facts? As Christian women, dare we even CARE about the Enneagram? Are we fools to use the Enneagram even now, after all the stereotypes put out on the internet? (PSA: the internet is ALL about the stereotypes and behaviors and not what the Enneagram is really about!) On today's episode, we answer these questions (and more!) and talk about how the Ennea...2022-03-1627 min
Moments Matter5: Finding Joy When Your Kids Live Far Away From Home CAN you find joy when your kids leave home and live far away? On today's episode, Sonja and Julia dive into how to handle all of the hard emotions of your kids living far away from (and practical ways to find joy in it all). Living far away from your kids is NOT easy, but there is hope to find joy in this season of life. Tune in to hear:What it was like for Sonja to help move her daughter 12 hours awayDifferent children bring different emotions to the surfaceWhere your true identity lies4 practical ways to find j...2022-03-1034 min
Moments Matter4: What is Empty Nest Syndrome?, Anxiety of Anticipation, New Purpose, and More What is Empty Nest Syndrome and what should we do about it? Sonja’s been through it all–the sadness, fear, and guilt–and she’s ready to talk about what to do to lessen some of those difficult emotions as you look down the road to empty nesting or even if you’re already in the empty nesting years! Tune in to hear:The common signs of Empty Nest SyndromeHow do your kids feel about leaving the house?Is the anticipation worse than the actual goodbye?Looking for God's purpose in it allIf Sonja could go back and...2022-03-0231 min
Moments Matter3: When I Don't Agree With My Adult Children's Decisions What do we do when we don’t agree with our adult children’s choices? Is there really a way to let them know we disagree without it ending in a huge conflict? We think there is!Listen in as we cover: The differences in response between the high school, college, and adulting stage Practical, respectful ways to communicate that you disagree with their decision/behaviorWhat it's like when they go ahead with their decision anywayFree, Simple Guide to a Healthy Relationship With Your Kids : https://www.bigmomentmentor.com/healthy-relationships-with-your-kids (whether they are teens or adults...2022-03-0237 min
Moments Matter2: My Crazy Hot Mess Pt. 2 | Reacting vs. Responding What is the difference between reacting and responding? What does it have to do with being a mature woman of God? Join mom and daughter as they tie up a lot of Sonja's crazy hot mess (i.e. her journey) and what God taught her along the way about her immaturity and where He's still taking her today. Links We Promised: Big Moment MembershipGuide to Having Everyday Victor Over Conflict (responding vs. reacting) 2022-02-2333 min
Moments Matter1: My Crazy Hot Mess Pt. 1 | Sonja's Story Welcome to the Moments Matter Podcast! Thank you for joining us in this first episode, where you will hear Sonja's personal journey of how God brought her through a lot of difficult situations throughout her lifetime and what she's learned from her mistakes and experiences. Join us as we discuss the following: Sonja's salvation testimonyHow she dealt with attempted assaultWhat happened between her and her husband, Kevin Financial difficultiesHow God took care of her through all of it*Trigger warning: in this episode we mention attempted assault, marital issues, and suicidal thoughts. We are...2022-02-2334 min
Moments MatterWelcome to the Moments Matter Podcast In this space, everyone is invited to chat with mom and daughter as we dive deep into God-honoring, refreshing, and eye-opening conversations about having healthy relationships with your kids as they grow from teenagers to adults... even when it's hard!Listen in as we chat about the mistakes and wins of life moments from the unique perspective of both empty-nesting mom, Sonja Wallenbeck, and her married, adulting daughter, Julia. We'll cover everything from how to handle the emotional turmoil of watching your teenager get in the driver's seat for the first time, to making every moment an opportu...2022-02-0408 min