Shows
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Jeopardy in Icing 1861In a change to the usual programme, this week we present a “highlight” from the career of Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. This particular show is from his early works providing and English commentary for Jeopardy In Icing 1861, a second-rate cooking programme from Gaul. In this episode there is a surprise result. Who saw that coming? Certainly not the French!
Voice of the Announcer by Darren Gooding.
All music by Charlotte Savigar.2022-03-3019 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - EAR-MOO B Part 3Well tickle me sideways with a kipper I do believe it’s time for the ARC Light Programme to return for your aural titillation. This week on Slumbertime Stories we finally get to the end of EAR-MOO B from Tales of New Albion Volume 2. In fact that’s actually the end of the book, so who knows where we go from here. Oh and Listener’s quizzes are orf for now, at least. Shame. Probably going to be quite a short one then.
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and buy one of their fine b...2021-09-2826 minTales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - EAR-MOO B Part 2Wot ho and, indeed, ay caramba! It’s time for the ARC Light Programme to detune itself in real time once again. This week on Slumbertime Stories it’s the second part of EAR-MOO B from Tales of New Albion Volume 2. Beyond that is anyone’s guess. Another round of “Can You Guess What It Is That I’m Describing?” perhaps? Who knows?
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and buy one of their fine books, if not the brace.
All music by Charlotte Savigar.2021-08-1726 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - EAR-MOO B Part 1Chin up old thing, it’s time for the ARC Light Programme to return once again. This week on Slumbertime Stories Theodore reads the first part of EAR-MOO B from Tales of New Albion Volume 2. What else? Well I suspect they’ll try and do another round of “Can You Guess What It Is That I’m Describing?” but I’m sure that won’t go wrong at all. Nope, not a chance bound to be fine.
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and buy one of their fine books, if not both. Indeed definitely buy...2021-04-0830 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion(S2) - A Martian CallsIn a change to the usual programme, this week the ARC Light Programme brings you a "Special" feature. To commemorate the fourth anniversary of him joining the ARC, Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb talks us through an infamous on-air moment known as “A Martian Calls”. So pin back your lug holes and listen to this tale of utter catastrophe.
All music composed and played by Charlotte Savigar.
Egor the Almost Indestructible’s translator box played by James King.
Photograph by Corin Spinks.2021-02-0823 minTales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Crash Again (Again) Part 2A might huzzah is let forth from the mouths of men, women, children and semi-sentient dolphins as Tales of New Albion returns once again. This week there are the manifold delights of the second part of Crash Again (Again) read as always by the voice, legs and teeth of Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. On the downside there is also another chance to win 3 shillings with the Listener’s Quiz – “Can you guess what it is that I’m describing?” Where you have to guess what it is that Theodore is describing.
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and bu...2021-01-2418 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - An Urgent Message from ARCAttention nation, please stand by for an urgent message from the ARC (Please note this is a pre-recorded message, so don’t bother phoning the Corporation to complain, there’s nobody here).
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and buy one of their fine books, if not both.
All music by Charlotte Savigar.
Photograph by Corin Spinks.2020-12-2107 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Crash Again (Again) Part 1This week on the Light Programme it seems that Theodore is still unavailable, due to an ongoing crisis of character. So, once again, we have the multi-award winning journalist, writer and think-tank contributor, PG Basilthorpe-Stilton OAE condescending to the populace. This week, presumably, reading someone else’s storyin a morbid fashion. Send help.
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and buy one of the fine books.
All music by Charlotte Savigar.2020-12-1722 minTales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - The Battle of Turnip FieldThis week on the Light Programme it seems that Theodore is unavailable, due to an unfortunate lapse in moral fibre. Instead, at very short (and expensive) notice, we have the journalist and writer PG Basilthorpe-Stilton OAE educating the nation with regards to the first Great Martian War, by reading an extract from his memoires – The Whole of History and How I Wrote It. Frightful bore.
For more about Tales of New Albion please visit www.talesofnewalbion.com and buy one of the fine books.
All music by Charlotte Savigar.2020-12-0431 minTales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Welcome to AeropaWhere do all the airships go? It’s a good question, and we’re about to find out as it’s time, once again for Slumbertime Stories on the Light Programme, and this week it’s a story called “Welcome to Aeropa”. It’s read as usual by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb and there will probably be some sort of listener phoning in. Or perhaps there won’t, it’s getting hard to tell these days.
All music by Charlotte Savigar.
For more information, or to buy a copy of Tales of New Albion, go to www.talesofnewalbion.com2020-11-2632 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2)- Halloween Special the ThirdWooooooh! And now on the Light Programme it's time for Hallowe'en Special the Third, and this time it actually is Hallowe’en! Or is it? Yes, it really is! Our story this week is All Hallow's Eve at Wurrelds End by that spawn of satan - Nils Visser. It is read as always by the ghastly ghost of Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. Nightmares optional.
WARNING: May include goats.
Tunes by the devil’s own mistress: Charlotte Savigar.
Digital artwork by the hound dog of hell: Corin Spinks.
For more information about Nils Visser go to: https://nilsnissevisser.co.uk/2020-10-3153 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Crash Again Part 2Here we go again with another episode of the ARC Light Programme. In this programme Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb reads the concluding part of the (uncreatively named) story Crash Again from Tales of New Albion. Before all that though there’s another chance to win 3 shillings with the Listener’s Telephone-In Quiz – “Can You Guess What It Is That I’m Describing?” Although one imagines the money is safe.
The voice of Cap’n Frogulous Bottom-Barnacles is provided by Frog Morris. For more information visit: http://www.frogmorris.net/ All music provided by Charlotte Savigar.2020-10-2625 minTales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) – Crash Again Part 1Whoop and, indeed, huzzah! The Light Programme returns again following last week’s rude interruption by current affairs. This time Theodore reads part one of Crash Again (by Daren Callow) on Slumbertime Stories. Plus, despite misgivings of humongous proportions, a couple of familiar voices return to attempt to tackle the Listener’s Telephone Quiz. Kind of.
All music by Charlotte Savigar. Photograph of "The Broadcaster" by Corin Spinks.2020-10-2021 min
Gallery of CuriositiesThe Pinch by M.A. SmithPickpocketing in London. What could possibly go wrong? Daren Callow narrates.
Author M. A. Smith writes from Gloucestershire, UK, where she lives with her family. Her fiction has appeared in magazines including Mythic, Gathering Storm and Dark Moon Digest,and her novella Severance was published by Fantasia Divinity. Find out more at masmithwriting.com.
Narrator Daren Callow is a writer, voice actor and musician who is based in Hove on the south coast of the United Kingdom, a medium-sized cannon shot from the English Channel. As an actor, as well as (seemingly endless) live performances of Tales Of New Albion...2020-10-0620 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - The War Cabinet MeetsWe interrupt your usual programme to take you live to momentous events on the south coast of New Albion. I leave you in the capable hands of ARC World Service newshound – Igor Beaver, in a secret location (it’s not all zat zecret!). This week’s episode features the vocal talents of Paul Wady alongside the usual motley cast. For more information about Paul Wady, go here: http://www.paulwady.com/
All music by Charlotte Savigar. Visit www.talesofnewalbion.com for more information.2020-03-1315 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Halloween Special Number 2This week on the Light Programme it's the Hallowe'en Special number 2, and this time it actually is Hallowe’en, although it still isn't all that special. Our story this week is The Birth of Queen Rat from Elements of Horror Book 3: Fire! Read as always by the hollow remains of Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. Tunes by Lucifer's hand puppet: Charlotte Savigar. Don't go having nightmares now. Although you can if you want.
Elements of Horror - Book 3: Fire! Is available to buy from here: https://mybook.to/BookThreeFire2019-10-3132 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) – Admiral Sherman Solves Another Case Part 2Tonight on the ARC Light Programme it's time for the concluding part of Admiral Sherman Solves Another Case, or the Mystery of the Missing Missive. Before that though, there's just enough time to squeeze in another round of Can You Guess What It Is That I'm Describing, the seminal Listener's Telephone-In nonsense. Will anyone ever win the three shillings. It seems unlikely.2019-10-0319 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) – Admiral Sherman Solves Another Case Part 1Well hello, Cecil Fantasma here! I will now astral-project this week’s episode of The Light Programme directly into your mind. WooOOOooh! What do you mean it’s not working? Oh well then you’ll just have to listen to it the normal way via your wireless. Sad.
Cecil Fantasma played by Mikey Georgeson (David Devant & His Spirit Wife, Mr Solo) for more information go to http://www.mikeygeorgeson.com/ and to download his latest single go here: https://mikeygeorgeson.bandcamp.com/track/cant-go-back2019-07-2626 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Crash Part 2Wot ho! The Light Programme returns this week with another venture into the bright future with the Listener’s Telephone-In Quiz – “Can you guess what it is that I’m describing?”. This week featuring someone who is definitely not Luigi Englebert (Keith Urban-Trousers) the ARC Radio Presenter and semi-popular crooner. All music once again by Charlotte Savigar.2019-07-1925 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Crash Part 1Well now, what's that you say, another episode of the ARC Light Programme? Well certainly. This week it features part one of Crash by Daren Callow read by your host Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. The Listener's Quiz however was utterly ruined by some chap called Professor Elemental ringing in to speak to Mabel. Yes, we will be having words.
For more information about Professor Elemental go to professorelemental.com2019-04-1622 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Monkey Teaspoon Design Agency Part 2This week on the Light Programme it’s the concluding part of Monkey Teaspoon Design Agency, read by your perennial host – Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. Also it’s the return of the lamentable telephone quiz – “Can you guess what it is that I’m describing?” – with eminent guests Lord Hercules (Ben Henderson) and Lady Boudicca (Tixia Henderson) of Cheam, so it’s not all good. For more about Ben and Tixia visit: https://bumpandthumper.wixsite.com/moth2019-04-1131 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion (S2) - Monkey Teaspoon Design Agency Part 1What ho! The Light Programme is back with a bang! Or somesuch. This week we have another new episode of Slumbertime Stories, featuring a young lady and her first day at the Monkey Teaspoon Design Agency. Hear the thrills and spills as she tries to navigate the hot desk system, the bev-o-matic drinks dispenser and various irate primates. Also this week the first ever listener's quiz via the telephone - "Can you guess what it is that I'm describing?". Literally minutes of fun. Presented by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. All music by Charlotte Savigar.
Tales of New Albion volume 1 now available -https...2019-01-2930 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales Of New Albion - Halloween SpecialThis week on the Light Programme it's a Hallowe'en Special, although it's not Hallowe'en. And it isn't all that special. Our story this week is The True Tale Of The Crown Of Imagincipation by that devil of a chap - Peter Gardiner. Read as always by the ghost of Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. Tunes by beelzebub's handmaiden: Charlotte Savigar. Don't go having nightmares now. Although you can if you want.2018-09-2522 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - The Best Of The Light ProgrammeThe Albion Radiophonic Corporation is, reasonably, proud to present the Best of The Light Programme 1818. When we say "Best of" we mean "most tolerated" and by that we mean "received the least complaints". Featuring contributions from Mrs. Twomble, Dame Dilemna-Spaniels, Lady Boudicca and Lord Hercules of Cheam, Mayor Flange of Treacle Dripping and music by Charlotte Savigar and the New Albion Synthetic Orchestra. To contact the team who put the show together send a SAE to letters@talesofnewalbion.com2018-08-2323 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - In The Shadow Of The Moon (Chapter 1) Part 2In the last episode of the current series, we have another (unsuccessful) attempt at the feature: Listener's Telephone In followed by the very final part of Tales Of New Albion - Volume One. This time it's In The Shadow Of The Moon (chapter 1) part 2 or some such. Toodle pip for now dear listeners. All music by Charlotte Savigar, once again. Why not let us know what you think of this podcast series, email the show at: letters@talesofnewalbion.com with your thoughts.2018-08-0230 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - In The Shadow Of The Moon (Chapter 1) Part 1Ahoy hoy! The Light Programme returns with your host Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. This show features a first for the Albion Radiophonic Corporation - a live "Listener Telephone In". What could possibly go wrong? All music by Charlotte Savigar.2018-07-1327 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - In The Shadow Of The Moon (Chapter 3) Part 2Here is the next edition of the ARC Light Programme. This week sees the return of the not entirely unpopular Shipping Forecast, now with 105% more accuracy. Accompanying this vital public service broadcast is part 2 of In The Shadow Of The Moon (chapter 3) read once again by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. Music is by Charlotte Savigar as always and the Shipping Forecast is written and performed by Frog Morris.2018-05-1524 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - In The Shadow Of The Moon (Chapter 3) Part 1Right, hold on to your hats, it's time for the ARC Light Programme once again. This week we are delighted to bring you the first part of chapter 3 of a 3 parter with, as of yet, no sign of chapter 1. Well I'm sure it will turn up. Also this week we have the profound musings of Mayor Flange of Treacle Dripping. The show is hosted once again by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb and all the music is by Charlotte Savigar.2018-03-2130 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - In The Shadow Of The Moon (Chapter 2)Yes indeedy-deedy, it's time for the ARC Light Programme once again. This week in a packed programme we bring you another of our deeply profound Musings Of The Moment, by regular contributor Dame Hildebrand Dilemna-Spaniels (played by Emma King). Then, as always, there is another story from the Tales Of New Albion series, and this week it's the 2nd part of a three parter called In The Shadow Of The Moon, part 3 is next and then part 1. Confusing? Yes, oh well such is life.2018-02-0148 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - La Grande Course de la Caravane Part 2The ARC Light Programme returns once again like the proverbial bad penny with your host Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. On this weeks show is another Musing of the Moment, this time from Cap'n Frogulous Bottom-Barnacles (played by Frog Morris) and the conclusion to the rip-roaring desert adventure. Music, as always, by Charlotte Savigar.2018-01-1940 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - La Grande Course de la Caravane Part 1Tales of New Albion is back with a bang, and what delights we have for you on the Light Programme this week. First up is another Musing of the Moment, featuring a guest appearance by Lord Hercules and Lady Boudicca of Cheam (played by Ben & Tixia Henderson) and then it's on with the story; La Grande Course De La Caravane part 1. Hosted, as always, by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb.2017-12-1536 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - Lost In The Great White Part 2Here we go again with another jolly Tales of New Albion radio show. This week we have the exciting conclusion to Lost In The Great White, but before that an all new feature - Musings Of The Moment - this week with the wise words of Professor Paver Iron-Yourself (created and performed by Catherine Paver). As always the music is by the talented Charlotte Savigar.2017-11-2329 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - Lost In The Great White Part 1After last week's mix up with the folk song recording, it's a relief to be back on form with a rousing number recorded by Dame Hildebrand Dilemna-Spaniels to conslude that feature. Alongside that there is the wonderful Slumber Time Story which this week is a whodunit and also a howdidertheydoit read by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb called Lost In The Great White.2017-11-1741 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - An Aquanaut Misadventure Part 2It's time for the Light Programme again and this week we have the conclusion to our undersea adventure in Slumber Time Stories. Before that there is also an attempt to bring you another folk song of Olde Albion introduced by Dame Hildebrand Dilemna-Spaniels.2017-11-0830 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - An Aquanaut Misadventure Part 1Well now, what a show we have for you this week on the ARC Light Programme. Once again we are proud to present a haunting folk song of Olde Albion recorded by Dame Hildebrand Dilemna-Spaniels and introduced, as always, by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. This week we also kick off a new Slumber Time Story, and on this occasion it's about a rocket blasting off to the bottom of the ocean.2017-11-0133 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - A Christmas Carry-on Part 2It's that time again - Christmas time! Well a bit early for that I suppose, but here is the Light Programme again with Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb reading the conclusion to A Christmas Carry-on by Daren Callow. This week we also feature another of the haunting folk songs recorded by Dame Hildebrand Dilemna-Spaniels.2017-10-2529 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - A Christmas Carry-on Part 1This week on the ARC Light Programme we bring you the first part of our, somewhat unseasonal, story A Christmas Carry-on read by your host Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb. Also this week the first of the hauntingly evocative recordings of Olde Albion Folke songs compiled by Dame Hildebrand DIlemna-Spaniels.2017-10-1826 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - High Cliffs Tea Room Part 2This week on the ARC Light Programme it's the second part of High Cliffs Tea Room - an epic quest for a slap up supper, plus EVERYBODY'S FAVOURITE - Listener's Letters. Presented by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb, with music by Charlotte Savigar.2017-10-1025 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - High Cliffs Tea Room Part 1This week on the ARC Light Programme we bring the the exciting tale of a good Samaritan and a very hungry man, read by your host Theodore Pilkington-Rhubard. Don't mention the listener's letter though!2017-10-0321 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - Tobias FitchThis week it's a spooky offering on Slumbertime Stories. Plus another letter from someone who probably doesn't listen to the show at all. Presented by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb.2017-09-2729 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - Timeshock Part 2This week on the ARC Light Programme we have the conclusion of Timeshock by Daren Callow. Also featuring correspondence from someone who may, or may not, be a listener and music by Charlotte Savigar.2017-09-2025 min
Tales Of New AlbionTales of New Albion - Timeshock Part 1The Albion Radiophonic Corporation presents - Tales Of New Albion on the Light Programme. Hosted by Theodore Pilkington-Rhubarb and featuring Slumbertime Stories, letters from listeners and much, much more.2017-09-1425 min