Shows
Especially Organized: Sensible Solutions for Special Needs Moms69 | Especially Enneagram Series: Special Needs Parenting as an Enneagram 869 | Especially Enneagram Series: Special Needs Parenting as an Enneagram 8
How does your personality shape your approach to parenting, especially when supporting children with special needs? That is the question we will be exploring for this series, which we kick off today with the big energy of the Enneagram 8!
This episode features an enlightening conversation with Stefanie Ferris, a seasoned podcaster and mother of three boys, two of whom have ADHD and sensory processing disorders. Stefanie shares her unique perspective as an Enneagram 8, highlighting how her natural leadership qualities help her manage the chaos of a...2024-09-241h 12
Where the F Is My VillageRaising a Child With Special Needs While Trying to Stay OrganizedAngela O'Brien is a personal organizer and mom of two. Her daughter (20) has Down syndrome and her son is a college senior. Today Angela discusses the stress of deciding what's next for her daughter while also managing her grief that being empty nesters isn't in her near future.Today she also shares how she especially loves working with parents of special needs kids to create a calm and peaceful environment for themselves and their families so that they can focus their own energies on the things that mean the most to them! Angela's website is www.y...2023-12-111h 19Where the F Is My VillageOverwhelm from Managing CareWhether it's issues with school, friends, mental health, or physical health, the issues don't slow down just because there's already too much on our plates! This week Stefanie discusses the new issues plaguing her kids and how she wants to go back to bed and not deal with it. Unfortunately that's not an option when you're the one in charge of "all the things"! A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-11-2742 minWhere the F Is My VillageAnxiety and the Irritable ChildIs your anxious child hard to live with? Do they walk around with a cloud over their heads ignoring the sunshine? Today Stefanie talks about how chronic irritability has a strong association with high levels of anxiety, and how hard it can be to for the whole family. She also discusses tactics she is trying (and mostly failing at) with her kids to attempt to recalibrate their mindset.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-11-1347 minWhere the F Is My VillageExplaining and Celebrating Your Neurodiversity: An Interview With Children’s Book Author Sivan HongSivan Hong, a mother of two boys, is the author and illustrator of the bestselling children’s book series Super Fun Day , which shares social stories about kids with neurodiversity (autism, ADHD, dyslexia, etc.).Today we discuss the importance of a child understanding their diagnosis and celebrating their uniqueness. We also talk about how Sivan's books help kids and their caregiver's discuss their anxiety about being different, and how to make a plan to be brave out in the world.https://sivanhong.com/books-%26-teachers-guidesA Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-10-301h 03Where the F Is My VillageLosing Yourself to the ChaosYou may have noticed a lack of episodes lately, and I am sorry! This episode is somewhat an explanation and apology and also a look inside the chaos inside my brain. If you're raising a tricky kid it's possible you will relate to the constant juggling and feeling of "building the airplane while already in flight." There's more work to be done than anyone can handle and it can be so overwhelming it's debilitating. Today's episode is a Stefanie Life Update and also a tale of how I still make the mistake of taking care of everyone but myself....2023-10-2354 minWhere the F Is My VillageWhen Life is So Crazy You Can't Even Manage to Record a PodcastHi Villagers! Thank you for your patience this week. I'm sure some of you were really wondering where WTF was this week. Like all parents of tricky kids, life can go off the rails sometimes. On this episode Stefanie discusses her week of chaos brought to you by a little boy with Swimmer's Ear.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-10-0431 minWhere the F Is My VillageThings I Do to Make Life a Tiny Bit EasierI'm sure we all had an idea of how parenting would look for us, and then we were handed tricky kids. I've talked about lowering the bar before, so today I talk about a few strategies I use to try to make life a little easier.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-09-2552 minWhere the F Is My VillageAdvocating FailsIf you try enough doctors, treatments, and medications, you're bound to have some failures. Today Stefanie discusses her recent rough introduction to a new clinic and how badly the first session of neurofeedback went.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-09-1849 minWhere the F Is My VillageAfter School Restraint Collapse and Masking: Why Our Kids Fall Apart After SchoolIf your child is grumpy, angry, emotional, and a hot mess after school, you may find it confusing because their teacher says they were great all day for them. Well, research shows that children fall apart after school BECAUSE they were great all day. They used all their emotional energy and self control up at school and when they are home they let it all out. Today Stefanie discusses this behavior and how in neurodivergent kiddos these reactions can be even bigger due to masking. Neurodivergent kids put on a mask to try to hide their natural ADHD, O...2023-09-111h 04Where the F Is My VillageI'm So Very Tired. Are you?Happy Labor Day Villagers! If you're anything like me you're grateful for this three day weekend because you are TIRED. I wish I had some magic solutions to fix our chronic exhaustion, but today I can tell you how I'm doing and how I'm surviving "all the things". And maybe you can find some comfort in knowing you're not alone in being worn out sometimes.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-09-0431 minWhere the F Is My VillageMental Load: How Handling All the Thinking in a Family is Crushing UsHave you heard the terms "default parent" or "mental load"? SO many of us by default, are the ones that are doing the invisible work of running a household. This is an issue that mostly effects women (let's be honest) and the majority of us work outside the home. The tasks with children are never ending, and for many of us we are making sure it all gets done without enough assistance from our partners.Today I share how the mental load discussion is going in our family and how Casey and I are trying to make th...2023-08-2853 minWhere the F Is My VillageWhen You Cry at the Back to School Open HouseVillagers! Why must raising tricky kids come with public crying?? I thought I had "all the things" ready for back to school, but at the open house I was hit with a surprise that left me hiding in a corner trying to collect myself. Luckily we only run the back to school gauntlet once a year!A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-08-2122 minWhere the F Is My VillageBack to School: Dealing with 504 Plans and IEPsIt's Back to School time, and for a lot of us, that can mean a return to stress related to our tricky kids. According to IDEA, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act "All children are entitled to a free and public education in the least restrictive environment " What does that mean and how does it apply to your tricky kid?Today Stefanie goes over 504 Plans and IEPs. She explains what they are, who qualifies, how to implement one, and how to make sure the law is being followed.Hopefully today's episode helps give the tools...2023-08-141h 13Where the F Is My VillageFinding a Way to Fill Your CupI know we've all heard to put your oxygen mask on first and that you can't pour from an empty cup, but aren't we all nodding along and then trying to care for our families when we are completely bone dry? Parents of tricky kids somehow manage to "breathe" without oxygen and squeeze out a few drops from our empty cups for our families. Villagers, we are smart people and we KNOW this is not good for us! But there is not a second to think about how to be any different!Today Stefanie gives u...2023-08-0741 minWhere the F Is My VillageGenetic Testing and the Role It Plays in Treatment StrategiesWe did Genesight testing on our trickiest kid and today I discuss the results and how they are informing our treatment plans. I also share how hard things have been and how we are trying to put one foot in front of the other.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-07-3144 minWhere the F Is My VillageInterview with Family and Marriage Therapist Amber TruebloodAmber is an author, podcaster, parenting expert and coach and family and marriage counselor. She has written a book, The Unflustered Mom: How Understanding the Five Anxiety Styles Transforms the Way We Partner, Parent, Live, and Love.I think we can all agree that some (or ALL) of our anxiety is driven by parenting tricky kids. Amber acknowledges this anxiety is part of our lives and provides clear and simple tools to improve the odds of us managing our emotions. My favorite part of the book is that she acknowledges there are five different types of anxiety...2023-07-241h 10Where the F Is My VillageWomen with Neurodivergence and How They Are Often OverlookedStatistics show that when considering neurodiversity, girls and women often get overlooked. Things are improving, but still have a ways to go. In the 1990's 1 girl for every 9 boys was diagnosed with ADHD. By 2020 that number grew to 1 for every 2.5 boys.Girls often get missed because they are not the "classroom distraction" or "hyperactive". Girls present their symptoms differently and if not recognized or diagnosed, a girl can grow into a woman with a lot of negative feelings about herself because she doesn't know her brain is simply working differently than is typical. Girls also often find co...2023-07-171h 47Where the F Is My VillageRaising Teens Is Tricky; Raising Teen Boys Can Be Even Trickier!Ben Dyson is back! You may remember him from his foster-to-adopt episode where he tells the story of growing his family from 2 to 4 boys. His oldest is now 16 and driving! Today we discuss teaching a kid how to drive, strategies to keep them safe, and how to talk to your kids about the internet, fighting, and breaking stuff. I'm not sure we solve any problems today, but we will definitely make you feel better about what's going on at your house!A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-07-101h 29Where the F Is My VillageHow We Talk to Kids About Sex, Porn, and ConsentToday Kevin Knight joins Stefanie to discuss a subject that's hard for a lot of parents; Sex. They are by no means "experts', but they can tell you how they've handled things so far and what has been challenging for them. If you don't have anyone to talk to about this tricky subject, Kevin and Stefanie will do their best to fill in. A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-07-021h 22Where the F Is My VillageWhen Medication FailsThis was a doozy of a week for our household. We had to make some changes to our anxiety kiddo's medications and it backfired in an explosive way.Today Stefanie shares what that looked like and how they survived the week. If you take medication or are raising someone with medication, you know there's lots of guesswork involved, and it can be very frustrating. If you can relate, this episode may be comforting to you. If you cannot relate, maybe listen to learn what surely at least one family you know is going through.A...2023-06-2637 minWhere the F Is My VillageLower the Bar for Your Tricky Kid So They Can Succeed and Feel Good About ThemselvesChildren with ADHD receive more than 20,000 negative messages by the time they are 12. Often they feel like a bad kid, because they're behavior is corrected constantly. And if you're a "bad kid" why even try to be "good"?Today Stefanie discusses how to avoid the trap of constant correction and bickering by actively ignoring all of your kid's behavior that is less important. (Think ignoring clothes all over the floor and instead focus on a higher priority behavior like respect, kindness, and completing important tasks.) All tricky kids need grace and time to learn skills t...2023-06-1939 minWhere the F Is My VillageEmotional Collapse and Finding a Way to Celebrate NeurodivergenceSchool may be out, but exhausted kids can still have emotional collapse after a fun day at camp. Stefanie discusses how her week has gone and her constant reviewing of strategies for how to get through those sensitive hours when your kid is tired and irritable.Also, Stefanie has been spending some time researching successful people with neurodivergence as a way to encourage her children (and reassure herself.) The list of creatives, innovators, and historical leaders with neurodivergence is long and she shares a lot of the names so Villagers can remember how special their tricky kids...2023-06-0541 minWhere the F Is My VillageThe Miracle of EMDR and How it Can Help Process TraumaEMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy tool that has been getting a lot of attention lately. Using bi-lateral stimulation, like buzzers buzzing back and forth in your hands, while a trained therapist walks a client through reprocessing trauma can accelerate the recovery from trauma faster than talk therapy alone. Stefanie and her son have experience with it and today she shares how it helped both of them process the death of her father during the height of Covid.For more information on EMDR you can visit EMDR.com A P...2023-05-291h 03Where the F Is My VillageToxic Masculinity, Gender Roles, and Navigating the Tween YearsAn interview with Kevin Knight, father to a 13 year old boy and 11 year old girl. Kevin is an athlete and the grandson of a pro football player. He coaches his son's football and lacrosse team and explains how the old way of pushing and yelling at kids is outdated and ineffective. We also discuss the challenge of raising a daughter with anxiety and empowering her to believe she can accomplish great things, while also preparing her for a world with gender disparities. Also, Stefanie begins the show with her thoughts on Maycember, and how we are all j...2023-05-221h 24Where the F Is My VillageNot an Episode. Sorry!Hey y’all! Just when I thought my migraines were under control, they came and smacked me down. I had to cancel content for this week’s episode, but I promise content is in the works!A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-05-1502 minWhere the F Is My VillageAdvocating for Children With Complex Medical NeedsToday Stefanie interviews Lauren Pool. Lauren is an activist and mom to four children, including a daughter with cerebral palsy. Lauren describes caring for and advocating for her daughter, including having to do her own research and travel to other states regularly for appointments. She also describes her journey in convincing her city to build what will be the state's largest park for children with a variety of needs and disabilities. Also, Shelley returns today!A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-05-081h 50Where the F Is My VillageStefanie's Journey From The Beginning16. Stefanie takes us through the many, MANY healthcare providers her family has worked with and the various diagnoses her children have acquired. She also discusses what books, videos, and other resources she has used during her journey of managing her children's care. The process of managing a tricky child with complex needs is not a straight line, and she is reminded of this every day. Hopefully something she discusses today is helpful to a listener. (Don't forget to reach out any time. We are here to offer any guidance we may have based on our ex...2023-05-011h 29Where the F Is My VillagePlease Let It Be Summer Soon15. Today Stefanie talks about managing the end of school year and how hard it is to juggle "all the things". She also pleads with Villagers to believe they aren't alone, and that maybe everyone is "neurodiverse".A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-04-2425 minWhere the F Is My VillageShelley's Tricky Week14. Sometimes with Tricky Kids, you have fires springing up faster than you can put them out. Shelley had a very rough week. Today she gets real about the stress of navigating being the parent of adult children with complex needs.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-04-1752 minWhere the F Is My VillageParental Controls: Why Is It So Hard?!13. Is it even possible to keep your kids and your data safe? And why isn't it easier? Today we explore how to protect your data from crafty children, and how parental controls are slowly driving Stefanie insane.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-04-101h 05Where the F Is My VillageHelicopter, Lawnmower, or Snowplow Parenting. Why They're a Trend to Save Your Child From Any Stress and Heartache, and Why It’s Imperative to Let Them StruggleWe all want to see our children succeed and for them to be happy. However, current research shows some parents might be too involved in ensuring their kids' lives are struggle free.Studies show that letting your child fail, struggle, and advocate for themselves is critical for them to grow into successful adults.Today Shelley and Stefanie discuss their approach to the helicopter trend and how hard it can be to balance advocating for your child, and letting them find their own way.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-04-031h 42Where the F Is My VillageRemember Hobbies or Free Time? People Raising Tricky Kids Often Forget Themselves. Today We Talk About Getting Our Joy Back.People raising children with complex needs are often just trying to stay afloat, swimming as hard as they can trying to manage everyone's needs but their own. When asked "What do you do for fun?" or "Tell me about your hobbies" are you able to answer the question? It's been years since we've had an answer.We hope today's episode will spark something in you and help you remember to find time for yourself. This is more than self-care. This is finding joy!A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-03-271h 40Where the F Is My VillageRestorative Justice and How It Can Help Us Parent Well and Avoid Punitive Punishments That Don't WorkToday we interview, Xavier Graves, who is the Executive Director of the Restorative Justice Institute of Oklahoma. We discuss restorative justice and how it affects the Black and Brown community, and also tricky kids from any background.If you're not familiar with the term "restorative justice", put simply its aim is rather than punish, it seeks to repair the harm caused by a conflict. As people raising tricky kids, Shelley and Stefanie have realized that old fashioned punishments have not benefited our kids, nor have they learned from them. Instead guiding our children to repair the harm they...2023-03-201h 18Where the F Is My VillageWhy is Everything in My House Broken?? With Special Guest and Parent of Four Boys, Ben DysonIn today's episode we are asking the question: WHY IS EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE BROKEN?? I'm sure MANY people raising Tricky Kids can relate.We also have our very first Parent Guest! Ben Dyson is a longtime friend of Stefanie's, and sometimes he and his wife are the only people who get her life.Ben and Becky have FOUR little boys, which means their house is exponentially crazier than Stefanie's. Their family grew through bio children and through fostering.We know we've told some hard fostering stories on here, and we promise we don...2023-03-131h 30Where the F Is My VillageTips, Tricks, and Life Hacks for Fostering and Raising Tricky Kids8. We hope you can hear the sarcasm in the name of this episode, because we have yet to find any quick "tips and tricks" for raising these Tricky Kids. We do try to share from our experience and maybe our stories will help someone almost as well as an Instagram Life Hack post.The main focus of today's episode is Stefanie sharing her family's attempt at fostering when she already had 3 bio kids under 5 and how she foolishly said yes to a placement of twin 6 month olds (who turned out to actually be 6 WEEKS old!) Par...2023-03-061h 23Where the F Is My VillageHow It All Began: Shelley's Fostering Experience Part 16. Today we go back to the beginning with Shelley. She tells us the story of how she decided to foster and what that the first couple of years looked like. Shelley's story may not be for everyone. If you are someone who may be triggered by hearing stories of abuse or violence, this may be an episode you want to skip.However, there are some very funny moments and a couple stories of pure joy and her story is worth hearing. We enjoyed Shelley's story so much that we couldn't edit it down to one ep...2023-02-2737 minWhere the F Is My VillageHow It All Began: Shelley's Fostering Experience Part 27. This is part two of Shelley's story. In part one, we heard about Shelley's decision process of first deciding if she wanted to have children, and second, how she was going to have them. In part two. Shelley has realized she wants to foster and she describes her expectations, the training and paperwork involved, and then the highs and lows of the first couple of years.Shelley's story may not be for everyone. If you are someone who may be triggered by hearing stories of abuse or violence, this may be an episode you want to skip. Ho...2023-02-2756 minWhere the F Is My VillageAdvocating for your tricky kids. Why laws and policy matter. An interview with Arnie Eby, Executive Director of the National Foster Parent Association5. Today we discuss advocating for legislation that supports and benefits families raising Tricky Kids, and why it is important to be involved in advocacy. Stefanie also shares how helpful it has been to have knowledge of federal laws regarding special education. She gives details of the IDEA act and how she used it to advocate for supports and resources for her children at their pubic school.Later in the episode we interview Arnie Eby, the director of the National Foster Parent Association. He explains how his organization advocates and supports foster families. He also shares about his...2023-02-2048 minWhere the F Is My VillageRules, Consequences, Picking Your Battles, and The Quest to Stay Calm4. Raising Tricky Kids is not for the weak. Dealing with "discipline" (we hate the word discipline) is especially tricky because you have to know when to give grace and when to give a consequence. Plus our ability to stay calm is constantly challenged. We do not claim to have all the answers, but we will be honest with how it's going for us.Quotes from today's episode include:"How do we have rewards and consequences and deal with our Tricky Kids so they're not feral, but also by being fair?"2023-02-121h 26Where the F Is My VillageManaging All The Appointments, Advocating to the School, and Essentially Being Your Kid's Caseworker2. Today Stefanie shares her 7 year journey of managing communication with specialists like therapists, child psychologists, and occupational therapists, and then translating it all to the school counselor and administration. We also discuss advocating for a fair IEP or 504 Plan and managing life at home with her Tricky Kids. Stefanie also talks about hyper-vigilance, and how life at her house can feel like a real life game of Perfection, where all day long it's tick, tick, tick, tick, and eventually BOOM!A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-02-051h 09Where the F Is My VillageShelley on the DA Filing For Termination of Her Parental Rights3. Every parent's worst nightmare is dealing with DHS or CPS. Once an investigation starts, the lack of control and absurdity of it all takes over your life. Shelley shares about the 18 months she spent trying to keep custody of her children, while advocating for services they desperately needed. A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-02-051h 03Where the F Is My VillageStupid Things People Say To Us1. Everyone with a Tricky Kid has been there. You're pouring your heart out and the person responds with "I'm so glad my kids don't have ADHD", or "If you weren't a single mother, your kids wouldn't have these issues." or even "Sounds like your kid needs a good smack." On this episode, Shelley and Stefanie talk about their Tricky Kids and share stories of these stupid comments and more.A Podcast for People Raising Tricky Kids2023-02-041h 15Where the F Is My VillageWhere the F is My Village: Podcast Premieres Monday, February 6th!Introducing Where the F is My Village, a new podcast for people raising Tricky Kids. Does telling stories about the sh*t show that is your home-life have people's eyes bugging out? Who can you talk to about things like your kid's diagnosis, treatment, medications, 504 Plan or IEP? If your kid is neurodivergent (ADHD, Anxiety, Reactive Attachment Disorder, ODD, etc.) or has a learning difference or complex medical issue that has basically become your full-time job to manage, this podcast is for you. We will keep it honest, give advice and encouragement, and tell some wild stories that mi...2023-01-1700 min