Shows
The Torn PodcastEpisode 11 - Talia's Story: My life or death choiceSometimes an inner conflict is not about preferences, careers, or relationships, but about survival itself.In this deeply moving episode, we hear the anonymised story of a woman facing a life-threatening cancer diagnosis while still grieving the sudden death of her partner. With her body, her future, and her sense of self all under threat, she finds herself torn between two radically different paths: evidence-based medical treatment, or alternative therapies closely tied to her partner’s beliefs and values.Narrated by an actor to protect confidentiality, the story is explored by Susan, Caitlin an...
2026-02-0359 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 10 - Richard's Story: I felt powerless to stop drinkingWhat happens when a relationship to alcohol that once felt easy and enjoyable begins to feel complicated?In this episode, Richard shares his experience of becoming torn about alcohol and how he used parts work to think through and reshape his changing relationship with drinking. Following a health scare, Richard knew something needed to change, but stopping outright didn’t feel simple or right. Instead, he found himself navigating competing inner voices: parts that valued pleasure, routine and social connection, alongside parts that wanted health, clarity and self-respect.This episode explores how parts work...
2026-01-2046 min
How To SexThe New Joy of Sex: Part 4The
New Joy of Sex: Part 4.
The allure of any size and shape.
2008, based on the works of Alex
Comfort and Susan Quilliam. Listen to the podcast at How
To Sex.
Breasts.
“In our maturer years,” wrote
Erasmus Darwin, “when an object of vision is presented to us
which bears any similitude to the form of the female bosom; we feel a
general glow of delight, which seems to influence all our senses, and
if the object be not too large we experience an attraction to embrace
it wit...
2026-01-1800 minHow To SexThe New Joy of Sex: Part 3The
New Joy of Sex: Part 3.
A Lover's State of Mind and Soul.
2008, based on the works of Alex
Comfort and Susan Quilliam. Listen to the podcast at How
To Sex.
Hormones.
The fuel in the sex machine, keeping desire,
arousal, and performance ticking over, as well as driving affection
and love. For the most part, they form a constant underpinning of
mood, supporting though never replacing the honest-to-goodness sexual
diesel generated by enthusiastic lovers.
A peak or a valley, on
the other hand, can...
2026-01-1300 minHow To SexThe New Joy of Sex: Part 2The
New Joy of Sex: Part 2.
A private performance of fine arts.
2008, based on the works of Alex
Comfort and Susan Quilliam. Listen to the podcast at How
To Sex.
The
antique idea of the woman as passive and the man as performer used to
ensure that he would show off playing solos on her, and early
marriage manuals perpetuated this idea. Today, she is herself the
soloist par excellence, whether in getting him excited to start with,
or in controlling him and showing off all her skills. Solo...
2026-01-0800 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 9 - What is Parts Work & Why's it Important? Conversation with a TherapistWhat if the parts of you that feel anxious, critical, or overwhelming aren’t problems to fix, but parts of you trying, in their own way, to protect you?In this episode, Caitlin is joined by Alex, a London-based psychotherapist working with Internal Family Systems (IFS). For professional confidentiality reasons, Alex’s voice is performed by an actor, but the insights shared are very real and deeply practical.Together, they explore how IFS helps us understand inner conflict by recognising that we are not a single, unified voice, but a system of “parts” each with its o...
2026-01-0646 minHow To SexThe New Joy of Sex: Part 1The New Joy of Sex: Part
1.
The art of gourmet lovemaking.
2008, based on the works of Alex
Comfort and Susan Quilliam. Listen to the podcast at How
To Sex.
Preface
1.
I first wrote this book nearly 20 years and
over 8 million copies ago. I am a physician and human biologist for
whom the natural history of human sexuality is of as much interest as
the rest of human natural history. I had notes on it. My wife
encouraged me to bring biology into medicine, and my old medical
...
2026-01-0300 min
The Kollective Institute of Ideas (KIOI)Inside TV Production & the 250 Questions That Spark Deeper Intimacy — with Lindsay Jill Roth🎙️ Step inside the creative world of Lindsay Jill Roth — TV producer, author, and champion of meaningful stories.💡 From producing with Oprah to reshaping modern romance, Lindsay reveals how storytelling shapes everything.❤️ Learn how asking the right questions can build intimacy, confidence, and connection — on screen and in life.🔑 Key Takeaways🎬 The Producer’s Lens: How Lindsay crafts powerful narratives across TV, books, and real life.🧠 Curiosity is a Superpower: Why asking bold questions opens doors — in love, work, and creativity.📖 Tools for Deeper Love: A peek into her book Romance and Practicalities — 250 questions that actually matter.🔥 No More Waiting: Why there’s never been...
2025-12-2645 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 8 - Ian's Story: Torn about my sexualityWhat happens when who you are feels unsafe to be known?In this episode of The Torn Podcast, we share Ian’s story, which is a powerful, long-arc journey of inner conflict shaped by growing up gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal in the UK. Narrated by an actor to protect anonymity, Ian’s story traces decades of tension between inner truth and external danger: family expectations, religious pressure, fear of punishment, and the very real threat of violence.Susan and Caitlin reflect on Ian’s experiences through the lens of inner c...
2025-12-2339 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 7 - The journey through inner conflictWhat really happens inside us when we’re torn? After analysing over 120 real stories of inner conflict, the Torn Project team noticed something unexpected: a shared pattern running through every account. In this episode, they introduce The Torn Journey, a seven-stage map that traces how inner conflict first stirs, how it intensifies, where we get stuck, and how resolution can become possible.In this episode, Susan and Caitlin walk us through each stage: from unconscious unease and conscious awareness, through information-gathering and experimentation, to the tipping point, the forks in the road, and the final resolution. Thi...
2025-12-0939 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 6 - Mary's Story: My child's life in my handsIn this dramatisation of a real-life experience, we step inside the mind of a mother facing an unimaginable choice. Told as a first-person monologue and voiced by an actor without any external comment, this episode navigates the private landscape of fear, love, faith, anger, and the weight of responsibility. Through an exploration of the fierce bond between mother and child, we witness the inner journey of making an impossible decision.This is a deeply emotional story involving serious child illness and bereavement, so you may wish to consider where and when you listen.— Find more sto...
2025-11-2524 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 5 - Who we are: Introducing The Torn Project TeamIn this episode, the hosts turn the questions on themselves.Susan, Caitlin and James interview one another, sharing how The Torn Project began, what brought each of them to this work, and the personal experiences that continue to shape it.Together, they explore the threads that connect psychology, coaching, technology, and creativity, and reveal what inner conflict means to them, not just as professionals, but as people.This is an episode about purpose, partnership, and the human stories behind The Torn Project, how three different paths converged on a shared...
2025-11-1150 minThe Kollective Institute of Ideas (KIOI)[Part 2] Relationship Expert Susan Quilliam on Love, Compatibility & Making It WorkIn this episode, relationship psychologist Susan Quillian returns to unpack the subtle signs of a healthy connection—and the warning signals we often overlook. From emotional generosity to self-awareness and patience, we explore what truly makes love last. Whether you're dating, committed, or navigating single life, these insights are for you.Susan QuilliamPsychologist, coach & prolific author🧠 Over 30 years helping individuals and couples navigate love, intimacy, and emotional connection💌 Agony aunt for two decades, including a long-running advice column in Cosmopolitan📚 Author of 20+ books, including How to Choose a Partner and the modernized...
2025-11-0728 minThe Kollective Institute of Ideas (KIOI)Relationship Expert Susan Quilliam on Love, Compatibility & Making It Work [Part 1]Susan Quilliam Psychologist, coach & prolific author🧠 Over 30 years helping individuals and couples navigate love, intimacy, and emotional connection💌 Agony aunt for two decades, including a long-running advice column in Cosmopolitan📚 Author of 20+ books, including How to Choose a Partner and the modernized 2008 edition of The Joy of SexIn this episode we cover: 💑 The difference between choosing a partner and creating a partnership – why chemistry isn't enough and how the "mix" matters.🔍 The four key signs of a healthy relationship – day-to-day connection, handling conflict, facing crises, and celebrating joy....
2025-10-3135 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 4 - Emilia's Story: Do I abandon my dream job?What happens when the job you’ve worked your whole life to reach becomes a place of quiet harm? In this episode, an actor tells Emilia's story from the joy of being elected president of her national cycling federation to the slow realisation that she was facing a culture of undermining, surveillance and workplace bullying.After each chapter, Caitlin and James explore the inner conflict at the heart of Amelia’s experience: duty versus agency, heart versus gut, staying to “do the right thing” versus leaving to protect your wellbeing. They discuss red flags of bullying, why self...
2025-10-2751 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 3 - What do we get torn about?We all experience moments of inner conflict, from the small, everyday choices to the big, life-defining decisions. In this episode, Susan and Caitlin explore the many shapes that being ‘torn’ can take between duty and desire, past and future, self and others. Drawing on stories from The Torn Project and their own experiences, they uncover what these tensions reveal about who we are, what we value, and how we learn to live with the contradictions that make us human.Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.t...
2025-10-1429 minThe Torn PodcastEpisode 2 - Paul's Story: Should I leave my marriage?Paul spent years pushing down his true desires, until one moment of honesty changed everything. In this episode, an actor shares Paul’s story and after each chapter of that story, Susan, Caitlin and James reflect on what his conflict reveals about choice, longing and courage. This is a story about the tension between 'wanting' and 'getting' and the possibilities and risks which open up when we finally pay attention to what we really want.— Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.comFollow...
2025-09-301h 04The Torn PodcastEpisode 1 - What is the Torn Project and Why?We all know the feeling of being pulled in two directions at once. In this first episode, Susan, Caitlin and James introduce The Torn Project; why it exists; what 'inner conflict' really means; and how listening to real stories and learning from reliable resources can help us find balance. This process marks the start of an ongoing conversation about those messy human moments when our wants, needs and beliefs collide – moments which are actually an essential part of our development as human beings. If you've ever felt torn, ever supported someone who felt torn, or are curious about the topi...
2025-09-3036 min
Translate This!WOMEN’S ENTANGLEMENT WITH DARKNESSIn our latest episode, hosts Melissa and Richard dive deep into the captivating world of female murder, crime, and romance novels. Discover their unique perspectives on why these genres resonate with readers and what they reveal about our society. Sources:
https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offender-relationship-2021
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1635092
https://www.statista.com/statistics/251886/murder-offenders-in-the-us-by-gender
https://www.statista.com/statistics/251886/murder-offenders-in-the-us-by-gender
https://www.jeannettedebeauvoir.com/thoughts/women-murder
https://joslynchase.com
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Death
Teach Me Tonight research blog (2010...
2025-09-171h 28
The Change Makers by Over The Bloody MoonDeepening Connections in MenopauseFollowing last week's episode, on Intimate Self-Care where we explored libido changes, we thought it a great follow-on to then chat with Susan Quilliam. Susan is an experienced psychotherapist and relationship coach, and author of seven books including best sellers, "Joy of Sex" and "Stop Arguing, Start Talking" so she has plenty to say on how to navigate relationships in times of turbulent change. Shifts in sex desire, incontinence, re-occurring urinary tract infections and vaginal atrophy, can all have an impact on intimacy. Susan provokes us to reframe intimacy and provides some golden nuggets in opening...
2021-09-2127 min
Dive Into: This Binge-Worthy Full Audiobook For Curious Minds.Conversations on Love by Natasha LunnPlease visithttps://thebookvoice.com/podcasts/2/audible/176305to listen full audiobooks.
Title: Conversations on Love
Author: Natasha Lunn
Narrator: Natasha Lunn, Roxane Gay, Greg Wise, Lemn Sissay, Juno Dawson, Melanie Reid, Stephen Grosz, Mira Jacob, Ayisha Malik, Sarah Hepola, Susan Quilliam, Emily Nagoski, Susie Orbach, Lucy Kalanithi, Isabella Laughland
Format: mp3
Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
Release date: 07-08-21
Ratings: 4.5 out of 5 stars, 26 ratings
Genres: Friendship
Publisher's Summary:
How do we find love? How do we sustain it? And how do we survive when we lose it Interviewing authors and experts as well as drawing on her own experience, Natasha Lunn...
2021-07-087h 52
Finding Your Right Mind — with Vanessa PotterThe Art of RelationshipsSelf-care episode 6: Have we become disconnected? Has the pandemic splintered relationships, impacted loneliness and if so, how can we find love and forge deep relationships when the rules around human contact have changed so much? Rachel New, a dating and relationships coach and I discuss how dating is much more than swiping left (or right) on your phone. She explains why it can be an effective way to bridge social divides, as well as helping you find the love of your life. We look at how any relationship (new or old) needs emotional investment — and some helpful ways to d...
2021-04-2446 min
Podcast ReviewHow to Choose a Partner?Sering bertanya-tanya ga sih, gimana ya cara menentukan pasangan yang tepat?
Aku juga sering meresahkan hal ini dan aku menemukan buku How to Choose A Partner by Susan Quilliam. Ada 8 kriteria untuk menemukan partner yang tepat. Yuk, kita bahas 4 kriterianya di Podcast Review episode 20 barengan aku Erni Irdewanti!
2020-12-2910 min
BETONE ORIGINALHogyan éld túl a szakítást?Szinte mindenki átvészeli egyszer vagy többször az életében, mégis keveset beszélünk róla. A szakítás sokaknak tabu, vannak akik könnyen túlteszik magukat rajta, de vannak olyanok is, akik egy életen át cipelik terheit.Az adás első részében Pálinkás-Panyi Anna pszichológussal beszélgettünk, aki a Szakítási napló című könyvében foglalta össze milyen fázisokon megy keresztül az, aki elveszíti a társát.A könyv nemcsak érdekes olvasmány, de konkrét terápiás segítséget is nyújt azza...
2019-07-2330 min
The 91 Untold Change ProjectEpisode 10: Absence of the Deity - With Susan QuilliamDigging further into the landscape of change, we have decided to ask an expert of human relationships, Susan Quilliam, to contribute some of her wisdom to the project.
Susan has had a very successful career as an author of twenty-two books in the relationship field. She is also a coach, facilitator, agony aunt and, ultimately, a long-standing muse of ours here at 91 Untold.
During this episode, Quilliam educates us on how our attitudes towards romantic relationships have shifted and, in some ways, intensified, since much of the western world’s movement towards a post-Christian society. Ne...
2019-05-2921 min
Freedom Pact | Joseph and Lewis#24: Susan Quilliam - Relationship psychologyRelationship and sex expert Susan Quilliam joins @josephnewtonpd and @Lewisedwardcoach in today’s @freedompact episode dedicated to relationships. This episode covers modern dating, more options vs less, partner selection, creating and maintaining desire, conflict resolution & healthy communication, when to leave a relationship and much more. For more information on Susan, you can find her here - http://www.susanquilliam.com
2019-01-231h 05
Philosophy For Our TimesDo we need relationships? | Helen Croydon, Kit Opie, Susan QuilliamLooking for a link we mentioned? It's here: https://linktr.ee/philosophyforourtimesIn this week’s episode, we’re looking at the science behind monogamous relationships and asking the question: have we, as a species, evolved beyond them? Screw the Fairytale author Helen Croydon, UCL anthropologist Kit Opie, and psychologist Susan Quilliam imagine new models for relationships.There are thousands of big ideas to discover at IAI.tv – videos, articles, and courses waiting for you to explore. Find out more: https://iai.tv/podcast-offers?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=do-we-need-relationships?See Priv...
2018-02-2725 minPhilosophy For Our TimesDo we need relationships? | Helen Croydon, Kit Opie, Susan QuilliamLooking for a link we mentioned? It's here: https://linktr.ee/philosophyforourtimesIn this week’s episode, we’re looking at the science behind monogamous relationships and asking the question: have we, as a species, evolved beyond them? Screw the Fairytale author Helen Croydon, UCL anthropologist Kit Opie, and psychologist Susan Quilliam imagine new models for relationships.There are thousands of big ideas to discover at IAI.tv – videos, articles, and courses waiting for you to explore. Find out more: https://iai.tv/podcast-offers?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=shownotes&utm_campaign=do-we-need-relationships?See Priv...
2018-02-2725 min
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style179: Choosing a Partner — Part Deux: The Importance of Knowing Yourself & The Crucial Must-Have~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #179 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio The desire to share our lives with a partner can be a different vision in each of our minds, but at the core of a strong, healthy, worthwhile relationship is something that is often dismissed as important, but not vital. Too often we are looking in the wrong place, seeking out the wrong traits and even presenting a false self in order to be chosen or to choose a person to potentially be our partner. With the inspiration of Susan Quilliam's book How to Choose a Partner...
2017-10-1633 min
Listen to Full Audiobook Titles for Your LibraryThe Joy of Sex: 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION (Written by Susan Quilliam, Alex Comfort)Please visit https://thebookvoice.com/podcasts/1/audiobook/290959 to listen full audiobooks. Title: The Joy of Sex: 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION Author: Susan Quilliam, Alex Comfort Narrator: Becky Hindley, Jonathan Keeble Format: Abridged Audiobook Length: 2 hours 35 minutes Release date: May 12, 2017 Ratings: Ratings of Book: 3.67 of Total 3 Ratings of Narrator: 5 of Total 1 Genres: Relationships & Intimacy Publisher's Summary: The original, groundbreaking The Joy of Sex returns in this audio version of the first (1972) edition of the illustrated sex guide. Featuring 100 tracks covering all the chapters of the original edition - now celebrating its 50th anniversary. A...
2017-05-1203 min
Cracking the SpineEpisode Thirty and Six - Y to the AThis week we discuss young adult literature, and why we do or don't read it. It doesn't quite come to blows, but boy, it comes close!Music used: The Dream is Over by: Honeychurch Books mentioned: Abomination by: Gary WhittaDuma Key by: Stephen KingThe Windup Girl by: Paolo BacigalupiSleeping Giants by: Sylvain NeuvelMad Max: Fury Road by: Lee Bermejo, George MillerThe World’s Worst Poet...
2015-10-0844 min