Shows
Hey Tabi!The Hidden Damage of Emotional Suppression and How to HealWhat happens when emotions are ignored, suppressed, or labeled as “wrong”? For many trauma survivors—especially those raised in Christian spaces—emotional suppression doesn’t lead to peace or holiness. It leads to anxiety, shame, disconnection, and relational breakdown.In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Emma Ward to talk honestly about the hidden damage of emotional suppression—and how real healing begins.Together, they explore:Why emotional suppression is so common in Christian...
2026-01-2648 minHey Tabi!When the Church Gets It Right: How Abuse Survivors Actually HealWhat does it actually look like when the Church gets it right for survivors of abuse?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and coercive control expert Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dawn Jones, founder of Restored to Thrive, a church-based ministry supporting women healing from domestic abuse/coercive control, and relational trauma.So often, abuse survivors experience silence, minimization, or spiritual bypassing in church spaces. But this conversation offers something different: a real-life example of a church that chose survivors over systems—and the healing that followed.To...
2026-01-1952 minHey Tabi!All Abuse is Physical Abuse - Neuroscience Proof and Tips to Help Survivors HealAll abuse is physical abuse—even when there are no visible bruises.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook explains the neuroscience behind coercive control and why survivors often experience brain fog, memory problems, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty concentrating long after the abuse has ended.Drawing from current neuroscience research and clinical experience, Tabitha walks through how coercive control and chronic emotional abuse can cause real brain injuries, including emotional concussions and mild traumatic brain injuries (mTBI)—and why this is s...
2026-01-1234 min
Staring Down the Storm: Autism Advocacy in AmericaFrom Flight Attendant to Autism Advocate: Getting to Know TabithaDid you know that Tabitha, our dear host and guide, grew up in rural Indiana, attended both University of Southern Indiana and Indiana State, learned French, considered the military, and then stumbled into the field she would end up working in for 17 years: a flight attendant in the airline industry?Today we present an "episode swap" - where a conversation appears on two podcasts: The MultiPod, which explores the lives and experiences of multipotentialites, and here, on Staring Down the Storm, Autism Advocacy in America.Why? Well, we often don't realize...
2026-01-0957 min
Soma RisingHealth from the Inside Out: How to Create Transformation that LastsSend us a textFeeling battered by January advice wars and “one perfect plan” promises? Here’s a calmer, truer way to build real health in 2026: trust your intuition, upgrade your identity, and let simple, aligned actions stack into lasting change. Tabitha MacDonald, Intuitive Coach and Bodyworker, opens with a raw look at living through ulcerative proctitis, weight gain, and the coping strategies that once felt like survival. From there, we map two shores—your current reality and your Transformation Island—and explore why most plans stall in the river between them: resistance, fear of change, and old family...
2026-01-081h 20Hey Tabi!Restoried Healing For Trauma Survivors with Melissa AffolterWhat happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again?In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma.Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred role of presence, safe community, and bein...
2026-01-0553 minHey Tabi!When Churches Make Abuse Worse (And How They Can Change) with Matt ChandlerWhat happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked. Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trauma dynamics, & how good intentions can still cause devastating harm. Matt speaks candidly about past failures, institutional blind spots, & what true repe...
2025-12-2950 minHey Tabi!The Ultimate Truth About Emotional Abuse in Christian Marriage (Every Survivor Needs to Hear This)Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness?In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage, and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm.If you’ve ever wondered:Is my marriage emotionally abusive?Does God want me to stay in an abusive marriage?Am I being abused or just “too sensitive”?This conversation offers clarity, validation, and bi...
2025-12-2253 minHey Tabi!Resisting Without Becoming The OppressorWhen we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becoming the very systems of oppression they’re fighting against.Whether you’re a survivor learning to trust again, a ministry leader navigating influence, or someone passionate about justice and healing, this episode offers compassion...
2025-12-1551 minHey Tabi!From Betrayal to True Intimacy: How Real Healing Happens for Both After Sexual Addiction & TraumaIf you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly heal after sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or years of secrecy, this episode is for you.In this deeply honest conversation, Tabitha sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, authors of Building True Intimacy, and survivors of their own story of betrayal, addiction, and the long road of rebuilding trust.Together, they unpack:The process of everything shattering and the slow work of rebuildingWhy honesty and safety must come before tr...
2025-12-081h 08Hey Tabi!Is Biblical Counseling That Doesn’t Suck Even Possible? What Trauma Survivors Need to KnowWhat is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing?In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, safe, compassionate biblical counseling is… and what it is NOT.If you’ve ever wondered whether...
2025-12-011h 03Hey Tabi!Why Hope Isn't An Outcome, It's an AnchorWhat if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy.If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you.We dive deep into: ✨ Why survivors often shudder at the wor...
2025-11-241h 06Hey Tabi!Story > Systems: Adam Westlake on Sanctification, Shame, and HopeWhat if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like.We get into:Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/affair recovery through curiosity (shoutout Jay Stringer)Contemplative prayer and embodied healing for anxious, high-achieversHow survivors of domestic abuse & coerc...
2025-11-1745 minHey Tabi!Parenting Spicy Kids - How to Stay Calm When You're Told To "F Off"Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion).Together they unpack:💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior💥 Practical tools for parents to stay calm, connected, and regulated when kids explode💥 How to hold firm boundaries and l...
2025-11-031h 02Hey Tabi!Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma HealingHave you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll...
2025-10-2715 minHey Tabi!Getting Trauma Informed Help Online - How to Spot Red and Green FlagsOnline trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm.Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, healing spaces look like (rooted in evidence-based trauma care), and what kinds of onli...
2025-10-2027 min
Living TestimoniesJesus & Therapy: Breaking Stigma, Finding Healing - Tabitha YatesIn this powerful episode, we sit down with Tabitha Yates, a survivor whose journey through trauma, mental illness, and faith has shaped a calling to speak truth and bring hope to others. Tabitha grew up in a home marked by abuse, carrying the weight of depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-harm, and even a suicide attempt into adulthood. For years, she believed her struggles were signs of weak faith—a message reinforced by the church that left her feeling abandoned in her darkest season.But Tabitha’s story didn’t end there. Through therapy and a renewe...
2025-10-1741 minHey Tabi!Pastors, Stop Enabling Harm Through Your SilenceWhen pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith.You’ll learn:Why abuse and coercive control must be named in sermons on marriage and sex addictionHow silence from church leaders can embolden abusers and retraumatize victimsWhat trauma-informed preaching looks like in re...
2025-10-1333 minHey Tabi!Reframing Intensity: Passion, Not PerilIntensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference!In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions.If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, and how to respond with grace, grounding, and discernment.You’ll learn:✨ What intensity actually is and why it often gets mistaken for an...
2025-10-0624 minHey Tabi!When Couples Therapy is DangerousMost therapists believe couples therapy helps struggling marriages—but here’s the shocking truth: up to half of couples seeking counseling are experiencing domestic abuse or coercive control. If therapists miss it, they can actually arm the abuser with new tools to manipulate and harm their partner.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains:Why traditional couples counseling is unsafe in abusive relationshipsHow coercive control hides in plain sightRed flags therapists and pastors MUST learn to recognizeWhy safety - not reconciliation - MUST come firstAbuse is not a “marriage proble...
2025-09-2920 minHey Tabi!What Can Christians Really Do In The Bedroom?Christian perspectives on physical intimacy often lack clarity, leaving many couples confused about what honors God in the bedroom - especially if one or both partners are survivors of harm. True intimacy begins with friendship and mutual respect, creating space for honest communication about desires, boundaries, and healing.In this episode we explore:What's permissibleHow technology has changed how we approach intimacySexual abuse survivors needsThe full spectrum of intimacy not just intercourseArousal templatesConsentWhat healthy intimacy entailsResources Mentioned:The Marriage You Want - by Sheila & Keith Gregoire - https://amzn.to/46ug2cH
2025-09-2233 minHey Tabi!Breathing Through Chaos: Finding Peace in Hard TimesTabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present momentCreating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience restVisualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stressUsing mantras like "It's okay to have big emotions" helps normalize our feelings without judgmentBreath prayers combine scripture with mindful...
2025-09-1536 minSoma RisingBeyond Fear: Reclaiming Your Power After Collective TraumaSend us a textWhen tragedy strikes, how do we respond with clarity instead of reactivity? Following Charlie Kirk's shocking death, I found myself facing my deepest fear – speaking my truth in a divided world. This episode emerges from that struggle.The heightened energy around significant dates like the 9/11 anniversary often brings our collective wounds to the surface. These moments reveal a crucial distinction: are we speaking from our unhealed trauma or from our higher consciousness? As someone who transitioned from being a closed-minded activist in my 20s to embracing a more nuanced worldview, I've le...
2025-09-141h 03Hey Tabi!What Teens Need to Know About Dating Abuse!Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs parents and teens should never ignore, and how faith communities can respond with wisdom and compassion.We’ll cover:✅ The difference between conflict and coercive control✅ Red fl...
2025-09-0831 minHey Tabi!Why Being Kind To Yourself Feels So Hard - Explaining BackdraftEver tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment.Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're actually beginning to heal. We explore how backdraft manifests emotionally, mentally, physically, and behaviorally, providing concrete strategies to work through these intense responses. From naming your ex...
2025-08-2522 minHey Tabi!Self-compassion - A Vital Step in Trauma HealingTrauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery.• Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification• Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, making us hypercritical and feeling isolated in our pain• Scripture shows God's compassionate heart toward us - "He knows how we are formed. He remembers we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14)
2025-08-1831 minHey Tabi!What If They Aren’t a Narcissist After All?Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to reclaim your clarity and safety. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that may change the language you use about this forever. Listen...
2025-08-1124 minHey Tabi!The Hidden Crisis in Male Sexuality with Sam JolmanIs male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients thro...
2025-08-0444 minHey Tabi!A Raw Conversation on Jesus, Women, and WorthWhat if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen.We dive deep into:Why the gospel is more than behavior modificationHow the church has mishandled women’s storiesThe truth about Gomer, identity, and self-destructionHow legalism sneaks into our hearts, even when we know betterWhy trauma-informed theology mattersHolding both grace and truth in messy, beautiful tensionElyse also shares...
2025-07-2855 min