Shows
Hey Tabi!Is Biblical Counseling That Doesn’t Suck Even Possible? What Trauma Survivors Need to KnowWhat is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing?In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, safe, compassionate biblical counseling is… and what it is NOT.If you’ve ever wondered whether...
2025-12-011h 03Hey Tabi!Why Hope Isn't An Outcome, It's an AnchorWhat if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy.If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you.We dive deep into: ✨ Why survivors often shudder at the wor...
2025-11-241h 06Hey Tabi!Story > Systems: Adam Westlake on Sanctification, Shame, and HopeWhat if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like.We get into:Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/affair recovery through curiosity (shoutout Jay Stringer)Contemplative prayer and embodied healing for anxious, high-achieversHow survivors of domestic abuse & coerc...
2025-11-1745 min
Poised for Purpose with Tabitha JS02 E04: From Overwhelmed to Ordered: The Art of ResetIn this episode of Poised for Purpose, Tabitha J breaks down how to recognize when life feels “loud,” why we quietly compare ourselves more than we realize, and how to shift your thoughts so your world can settle again.This episode is extra special because Tabitha opens up about the role transparency has played in her work — from this podcast, to her planners, to the systems she teaches — and how the same steps she used to rebuild her own discipline and mindset became the tools she now shares with others.This conversation will help you...
2025-11-1706 minHey Tabi!Parenting Spicy Kids - How to Stay Calm When You're Told To "F Off"Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion).Together they unpack:💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior💥 Practical tools for parents to stay calm, connected, and regulated when kids explode💥 How to hold firm boundaries and l...
2025-11-031h 02Hey Tabi!Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma HealingHave you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll...
2025-10-2715 minHey Tabi!Getting Trauma Informed Help Online - How to Spot Red and Green FlagsOnline trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm.Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, healing spaces look like (rooted in evidence-based trauma care), and what kinds of onli...
2025-10-2027 min
Living TestimoniesJesus & Therapy: Breaking Stigma, Finding Healing - Tabitha YatesIn this powerful episode, we sit down with Tabitha Yates, a survivor whose journey through trauma, mental illness, and faith has shaped a calling to speak truth and bring hope to others. Tabitha grew up in a home marked by abuse, carrying the weight of depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-harm, and even a suicide attempt into adulthood. For years, she believed her struggles were signs of weak faith—a message reinforced by the church that left her feeling abandoned in her darkest season.But Tabitha’s story didn’t end there. Through therapy and a renewe...
2025-10-1741 minHey Tabi!Pastors, Stop Enabling Harm Through Your SilenceWhen pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith.You’ll learn:Why abuse and coercive control must be named in sermons on marriage and sex addictionHow silence from church leaders can embolden abusers and retraumatize victimsWhat trauma-informed preaching looks like in re...
2025-10-1333 minHey Tabi!Reframing Intensity: Passion, Not PerilIntensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference!In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions.If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, and how to respond with grace, grounding, and discernment.You’ll learn:✨ What intensity actually is and why it often gets mistaken for an...
2025-10-0624 minHey Tabi!When Couples Therapy is DangerousMost therapists believe couples therapy helps struggling marriages—but here’s the shocking truth: up to half of couples seeking counseling are experiencing domestic abuse or coercive control. If therapists miss it, they can actually arm the abuser with new tools to manipulate and harm their partner.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains:Why traditional couples counseling is unsafe in abusive relationshipsHow coercive control hides in plain sightRed flags therapists and pastors MUST learn to recognizeWhy safety - not reconciliation - MUST come firstAbuse is not a “marriage proble...
2025-09-2920 minHey Tabi!What Can Christians Really Do In The Bedroom?Christian perspectives on physical intimacy often lack clarity, leaving many couples confused about what honors God in the bedroom - especially if one or both partners are survivors of harm. True intimacy begins with friendship and mutual respect, creating space for honest communication about desires, boundaries, and healing.In this episode we explore:What's permissibleHow technology has changed how we approach intimacySexual abuse survivors needsThe full spectrum of intimacy not just intercourseArousal templatesConsentWhat healthy intimacy entailsResources Mentioned:The Marriage You Want - by Sheila & Keith Gregoire - https://amzn.to/46ug2cH
2025-09-2233 minHey Tabi!Breathing Through Chaos: Finding Peace in Hard TimesTabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present momentCreating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience restVisualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stressUsing mantras like "It's okay to have big emotions" helps normalize our feelings without judgmentBreath prayers combine scripture with mindful...
2025-09-1536 min
Soma RisingBeyond Fear: Reclaiming Your Power After Collective TraumaSend us a textWhen tragedy strikes, how do we respond with clarity instead of reactivity? Following Charlie Kirk's shocking death, I found myself facing my deepest fear – speaking my truth in a divided world. This episode emerges from that struggle.The heightened energy around significant dates like the 9/11 anniversary often brings our collective wounds to the surface. These moments reveal a crucial distinction: are we speaking from our unhealed trauma or from our higher consciousness? As someone who transitioned from being a closed-minded activist in my 20s to embracing a more nuanced worldview, I've le...
2025-09-141h 03Hey Tabi!What Teens Need to Know About Dating Abuse!Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs parents and teens should never ignore, and how faith communities can respond with wisdom and compassion.We’ll cover:✅ The difference between conflict and coercive control✅ Red fl...
2025-09-0831 minHey Tabi!Why Being Kind To Yourself Feels So Hard - Explaining BackdraftEver tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment.Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're actually beginning to heal. We explore how backdraft manifests emotionally, mentally, physically, and behaviorally, providing concrete strategies to work through these intense responses. From naming your ex...
2025-08-2522 minHey Tabi!Self-compassion - A Vital Step in Trauma HealingTrauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery.• Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification• Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, making us hypercritical and feeling isolated in our pain• Scripture shows God's compassionate heart toward us - "He knows how we are formed. He remembers we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14)
2025-08-1831 minHey Tabi!What If They Aren’t a Narcissist After All?Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to reclaim your clarity and safety. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that may change the language you use about this forever. Listen...
2025-08-1124 minHey Tabi!The Hidden Crisis in Male Sexuality with Sam JolmanIs male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients thro...
2025-08-0444 minHey Tabi!A Raw Conversation on Jesus, Women, and WorthWhat if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen.We dive deep into:Why the gospel is more than behavior modificationHow the church has mishandled women’s storiesThe truth about Gomer, identity, and self-destructionHow legalism sneaks into our hearts, even when we know betterWhy trauma-informed theology mattersHolding both grace and truth in messy, beautiful tensionElyse also shares...
2025-07-2855 minHey Tabi!If We’re "Doers of the Word’"… Why is the Church Still Failing VictimsWhat does it really mean to be a "doer of the Word" like it says in the book of James?In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Neil Schori, pastor, father, and Director of Church Partnerships at Called to Peace Ministries, to tackle how being doers of the Word should make churches look. Together, they unpack James 1:22-27 and challenge what it really means to “be doers of the word.” Spoiler: it’s not about ignoring abuse.You’ll hear real talk on:How churches unintentionally side wit...
2025-07-2137 minHey Tabi!Why Standard Evangelical Sex Advice Is Wrecking Marriages - with Sheila Wray GregoireWhat if the marriage advice you were taught in church is actually what's ruining your marriage?In this powerful and data-backed conversation, author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Tabitha to unpack the myths evangelical culture has fed us about sex, submission, and "roles" in marriage and how those messages have led to entitlement, emotional immaturity, and deep harm for both men and women.In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with author, podcaster, and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire (BareMarriage.com) to dive deep into the...
2025-07-1447 minHey Tabi!When Kindness Is a Trap: The Truth About Manipulative Kindness in Abusive RelationshipsWhat if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships.This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift.You’ll learn:What manipulative kindness looks like in real lifeWhy it feels so good—and why that’s part of the trapHow tra...
2025-07-0720 minHey Tabi!Is the Evangelical Church A Sex Addict? What No One Wants to AdmitWhat if the church's problem isn't ignoring sex, but being obsessed with it in all the wrong ways? Does the Church really function like a sex addict? This provocative question frames our exploration into how evangelical Christianity's approach to sexuality has created environments where abuse thrives and healthy intimacy struggles to exist.The fingerprints of this unhealthy fixation appear everywhere—from crude pulpit talk to the hyper-focus on female modesty while neglecting male accountability. Purity culture has left countless believers without the language to identify abuse or the tools to build truly intimate relationships. Behind chu...
2025-06-3024 minHey Tabi!Holy Shift: Deconstructing Without Losing GodWhat if what you were taught about God isn't what God actually wanted you to believe?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into what happens when our theology has been shaped by fear, shame, spiritual abuse, or coercive control. If you've ever questioned your faith because of how it was used against you, this episode offers permission to wrestle, reexamine, and rebuild.Tabitha explores:How faith gets twisted in abusive environmentsThe weaponization of submission, forgiveness, and sufferingWhat deconstruction really means (and why it’s not a di...
2025-06-1627 minHey Tabi!The King's Crime: Uncovering the Rape of BathshebaDid King David commit adultery—or was it something much darker? In this deeply important episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook examines the true story of David and Bathsheba. Spoiler: It’s not the sanitized ‘affair’ we’ve often been told. It’s a story of power, coercion, and sexual violence—rape by a man in power.Join us as we read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, challenge cultural and spiritual myths that have silenced victims for centuries, and explore how this ancient abuse of power still echoes in today’s world—especially in the church. We’ll talk...
2025-06-0921 min