Shows
couples in focusNavigating Relationship DynamicsSummaryIn this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the complexities of relationships, particularly the notion of keeping one's side of the street clean. They discuss the importance of understanding both individual and shared worlds in a relationship, the impact of emotional neglect, and the necessity of co-regulation. The dialogue emphasises that relationships are not merely transactional but require mutual support and emotional engagement. They highlight the significance of emotions as a compass guiding individuals back to their needs and the importance of navigating emotional responsibility without falling into the trap of managing...2025-07-2343 mincouples in focusThe Complexity of Desire in Long-Term RelationshipsSummaryIn this episode, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the complexities of desire in long-term relationships, discussing how desire can diminish over time due to various factors such as overwhelm, emotional disconnect, and resentment. They emphasise the importance of maintaining physical touch, open communication, and addressing emotional needs to rebuild intimacy and connection. The conversation highlights the necessity of acknowledging the challenges couples face and the importance of seeking help when needed.Get couples therapy TakeawaysDesire in...2025-07-0930 mincouples in focusThe Three Pillars of Healthy RelationshipsSummaryIn this episode, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz discuss the three essential components of a healthy relationship: accessibility, responsiveness, and emotional engagement. They explore how these elements contribute to a secure attachment between partners, emphasizing the importance of being present, attuned, and emotionally connected. The conversation highlights practical examples and insights into how couples can foster these qualities to enhance their relationship dynamics.For more, see the Couples in Focus online course or book a session with Thomas here.TakeawaysHealthy...2025-05-0730 mincouples in focusCollaborative Games: Winning Together in RelationshipsSummaryIn this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on how couples can navigate challenges through effective communication and emotional regulation. They emphasize the importance of collaboration over competition, recognizing patterns of behavior that lead to conflict, and identifying personal triggers that can escalate disagreements. The discussion highlights the need for empathy and understanding in relationships, encouraging couples to work together to create a supportive environment. In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the dynamics of relationships, focusing on emotional...2025-04-2349 mincouples in focusBreaking the Cycle of ConflictsummaryIn this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas and Michael explore the dynamics of arguments in relationships, focusing on the need to be right and how it can lead to emotional disconnect. They discuss the behaviors of avoidant partners, the cycle of arguments, and the dangers of trying to win at the expense of the relationship. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding different models of the world and how they influence relationship dynamics, ultimately advocating for empathy and connection over competition. In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz...2025-04-0946 mincouples in focusHealing After Betrayal: A Path to TrustSummaryIn this episode of Couples in Focus, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz delve into the complexities of emotional injuries in relationships, mainly focusing on infidelity and its impact on trust and healing. They discuss the nuances of emotional affairs, the importance of empathy in recovery, and the challenges couples face when navigating the aftermath of betrayal. The conversation emphasizes the need for open communication and vulnerability to rebuild trust and heal from relationship injuries. In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the complexities of healing relationships after betrayal. 2025-03-2650 mincouples in focusOvercoming Blocks to Sexual CommunicationSummaryIn this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas and Michael delve into the complexities of discussing sexuality within relationships. They explore the vulnerabilities involved in these conversations, the common blocks that prevent open dialogue, and the importance of teamwork in navigating sexual intimacy. The discussion emphasizes the detrimental effects of silence, criticism, and shame on sexual relationships while advocating for ongoing communication and understanding between partners. In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the complexities of communication in relationships, particularly in the context of sexual experiences. 2025-03-0550 mincouples in focusNavigating Withdrawal in SexSummaryThis conversation delves into the complexities of emotional and sexual dynamics in relationships, particularly focusing on the experiences of avoidant and anxious partners. It explores themes of withdrawal, insecurities, silent suffering, and the breakdown of communication, emphasizing the importance of trust and vulnerability. The speakers discuss how these dynamics can lead to misunderstandings and emotional pain, and they offer insights into how couples can begin to open up conversations and build a new model of communication that fosters connection and empathy.Discover the couple...2025-02-2541 mincouples in focusNavigating Sexual Intimacy in RelationshipsSummary
In this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the often-ignored topic of sexual intimacy in relationships.
They discuss the challenges couples face regarding sexual connection, the dynamics of emotional intimacy, and the common issues that lead to a sexless marriage.
The conversation highlights the importance of communication, emotional responsiveness, and understanding the different needs of partners to foster a healthy sexual relationship.
They explore the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic and how it affects intimacy, offering insights and advice for couples seeking to improve their connection. In...2025-02-1946 mincouples in focusFalling Back in Love: Is It Possible?Summary
In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the theme of drifting apart and the hope of reconnecting. They discuss the importance of willingness from both partners, the emotional dynamics at play, and the necessity of safety in love. Through various analogies, including the concept of love as a parachute, they emphasize that while falling back in love is possible, it requires a shift in understanding and approach. In this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the dynamics of love and relationships, emphasizing the...2025-02-1246 mincouples in focusBalancing Needs in RelationshipsSummary
In this episode of Couples in Focus, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the complexities of meeting emotional needs in relationships. They discuss the challenges couples face when trying to balance their individual needs, the importance of communication, and the impact of attachment styles on relationship dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the necessity of regular check-ins and understanding each partner's emotional state to foster a healthier relationship. In this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the complexities of relationship dynamics, focusing on how partners can better understand and meet each other's emotional needs...2025-02-0544 mincouples in focusSpeaking the Unspoken: Understanding and Expressing Your Needs in RelationshipsIn this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas and Michael unpack one of the most critical yet challenging aspects of any relationship—understanding and expressing your needs.
Why do we often hesitate to voice what we truly need? What stops us from being honest with our partner about our desires, fears, and expectations? 🧠💔
Join us as we explore:
The importance of self-awareness in identifying your needs.
Common fears that hold people back from expressing themselves.
How unmet needs can lead to frustration, resentment, or disconnect.
Practical strategies to communicate your needs effectively without fear or guilt...2025-01-291h 20couples in focusNavigating Couples Therapy ResistanceSummary
In this episode, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston discuss the common scenario where one partner is eager to pursue couples therapy while the other is resistant. They explore the reasons behind this resistance, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion. The conversation covers effective communication strategies, the significance of timing when discussing therapy, and how to create a collaborative environment. The hosts also introduce the 'Three C's' approach: Collaboration, Compassion, and Curiosity, as essential tools for navigating difficult conversations in relationships.
Takeaways
Many couples...2025-01-2243 mincouples in focusNavigating Relationship Conflicts: Understanding EscalationSummary
In this episode of the Couples in Focus podcast, hosts Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz delve into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on how small disagreements can escalate into significant arguments. They explore the underlying reasons for these escalations, including past experiences, communication gaps, and the emotional weight of words spoken during conflicts. The conversation emphasizes the importance of empathy, understanding, and consistent small actions in maintaining a healthy relationship. They also discuss the challenges of repairing after hurtful words are exchanged and the necessity of genuine emotional connection in the process...2025-01-1542 mincouples in focusUnderstanding Relationship CompatibilitySummary
In this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the dynamics of anxious pursuers and avoidant partners in relationships. They explore how these attachment styles affect communication, emotional regulation, and the overall compatibility of couples. The discussion highlights the importance of recognizing relationship warning signs, understanding protection patterns, and building authentic connections. They also provide practical advice for couples seeking to improve their relationship dynamics, including resources for self-help and therapy.
Takeaways
Anxious pursuers often feel a constant fear of disconnection.
Avoidant partners...2025-01-081h 00couples in focusUnderstanding Communication in RelationshipsSummary
In this conversation, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz discuss the intricacies of emotional focus therapy (EFT) and the common relationship issues that arise in therapy. They explore the concept of communication issues, emphasizing that these often stem from deeper emotional cues and attachment styles. The discussion delves into the dynamics of pursuers and withdrawers in relationships, the importance of vulnerability, and the need for empathy and understanding. They also highlight the significance of slowing down communication, the dangers of texting during distress, and the role of attachment styles in shaping relationship dynamics. Ultimately...2025-01-011h 07couples in focusUnlocking the Secrets of Emotional Focused TherapySummary
In this engaging conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston delve into the intricacies of Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) and its profound impact on relationships. They explore the journey to EFT, the significance of attachment, the role of shame, and the importance of communication in fostering connection. The discussion highlights the transformative nature of therapy, emphasizing compassion and understanding as key components in navigating emotional responses and building healthier relationships. The hosts encourage listeners to embrace vulnerability and seek support, ultimately leading to personal growth and improved relational dynamics.
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