Shows
Relationship AdvicePsychology of the State of the WorldThere’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and how we treat people who respond differently. They also walk through 10 common “archetypes” of coping with national unrest and offer a relational path forward: get curious, find safe places to process, and move from reactivity into values-based action.
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2026-02-1651 minRelationship AdvicePsychology of the State of the WorldThere’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and how we treat people who respond differently. They also walk through 10 common “archetypes” of coping with national unrest and offer a relational path forward: get curious, find safe places to process, and move from reactivity into values-based action.
...
2026-02-1651 min
Relationship AdviceThe Second Pillar Of A Secure Relationship (Individuation)In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the second pillar of a secure relationship: individuation—the idea that what it’s like to be me is different than what it’s like to be you.
They explore how differences in processing, upbringing, values, and sensory experiences can turn from “cute quirks” into major points of conflict when partners feel right/wrong instead of just different. You’ll hear real-life examples, role plays, and practical questions you can take back to your own relationship to build more curiosity, compassion, and realistic expectations of each other.
Main Talking...
2026-01-1255 minRelationship AdviceThe Second Pillar Of A Secure Relationship (Individuation)In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the second pillar of a secure relationship: individuation—the idea that what it’s like to be me is different than what it’s like to be you.
They explore how differences in processing, upbringing, values, and sensory experiences can turn from “cute quirks” into major points of conflict when partners feel right/wrong instead of just different. You’ll hear real-life examples, role plays, and practical questions you can take back to your own relationship to build more curiosity, compassion, and realistic expectations of each other.
Main Talking...
2026-01-1255 min
Relationship AdviceThe First Pillar of A Secure Relationship (Window of Tolerance)Window of Tolerance helps explain why one partner often wants to keep talking while the other shuts down, speeds up, or feels totally overwhelmed.
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous systems have different thresholds, what it looks like to be inside vs. outside your window, and why both partners are usually dysregulated in conflict—just in opposite ways. You’ll learn how to notice your own cues, call a break before things boil over, and use this language to create more safety, empathy, and connection in day-to-day life together.
Main Talking Point...
2026-01-0555 minRelationship AdviceThe First Pillar of A Secure Relationship (Window of Tolerance)Window of Tolerance helps explain why one partner often wants to keep talking while the other shuts down, speeds up, or feels totally overwhelmed.
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous systems have different thresholds, what it looks like to be inside vs. outside your window, and why both partners are usually dysregulated in conflict—just in opposite ways. You’ll learn how to notice your own cues, call a break before things boil over, and use this language to create more safety, empathy, and connection in day-to-day life together.
Main Talking Point...
2026-01-0555 min
Relationship AdviceStarting Fresh: New Year Intentions for a Stronger RelationshipIn this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting individual and shared relationship intentions—like choosing a word for the year, doing a values audit, and imagining the “photo slideshow” you want to look back on next December.
Main Talking Points: • Mile...
2025-12-2956 minRelationship AdviceStarting Fresh: New Year Intentions for a Stronger RelationshipIn this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting individual and shared relationship intentions—like choosing a word for the year, doing a values audit, and imagining the “photo slideshow” you want to look back on next December.
Main Talking Points: • Mile...
2025-12-2956 min
Relationship AdviceHow Two Therapists Got Into A Fight and How They RepairedRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
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Main Talking Points:
Today we dissect a conflict that Colter and Cayla get into. Spoiler alert, it took us a couple of conversations to get back onto the same page.
We thought that this episode could be a good example of how we can disagree, rupture, and eventually repai...
2025-12-011h 00Relationship AdviceHow Two Therapists Got Into A Fight and How They RepairedRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
*We just answered a bunch of questions from listeners and want to answer more*
Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. CLICK HERE TO JOIN
Main Talking Points:
Today we dissect a conflict that Colter and Cayla get into. Spoiler alert, it took us a couple of conversations to get back onto the same page.
We thought that this episode could be a good example of how we can disagree, rupture, and eventually repai...
2025-12-011h 00
Relationship AdviceWhen the Holidays Aren't So MerryRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
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In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla open up about how the holidays can bring up grief, loneliness, or stress instead of joy. They share personal stories of loss, family expectations, and the emotional weight that often comes with “the most wonderful time of the year.” Together, they explore ways t...
2025-11-2652 minRelationship AdviceWhen the Holidays Aren't So MerryRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
*We just answered a bunch of questions from listeners and want to answer more*
Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. CLICK HERE TO JOIN
In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla open up about how the holidays can bring up grief, loneliness, or stress instead of joy. They share personal stories of loss, family expectations, and the emotional weight that often comes with “the most wonderful time of the year.” Together, they explore ways t...
2025-11-2652 min
Relationship AdviceManaging Your Boundaries with Family Over the HolidaysRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
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The holidays can bring a mix of love, laughter, and a little chaos. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about what happens when family dynamics, politics, and expectations collide at the dinner table—and how to stay grounded through it all. You’ll learn how to manage emotional triggers, set flexible boundaries, and focus on connection instead of conflict. Whether you’re hosting or visiting, this episode helps...
2025-11-1954 minRelationship AdviceManaging Your Boundaries with Family Over the HolidaysRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. CLICK HERE TO JOIN
The holidays can bring a mix of love, laughter, and a little chaos. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about what happens when family dynamics, politics, and expectations collide at the dinner table—and how to stay grounded through it all. You’ll learn how to manage emotional triggers, set flexible boundaries, and focus on connection instead of conflict. Whether you’re hosting or visiting, this episode helps...
2025-11-1954 min
Relationship AdvicePeople Pleasing and When You Get Invited To Chilli'sRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
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Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore the roots, costs, and recovery process of people pleasing, highlighting how it often stems from fear of conflict, guilt, or learned conditioning. The hosts discuss the emotional and relational toll—like resentment, burnout, and lack of authentic connection—while also offering practical tools to build awareness, set boundaries, and communicate needs more clearly. Ultimately, they emphasize shifting from guilt-based to values-based deci...
2025-11-1446 minRelationship AdvicePeople Pleasing and When You Get Invited To Chilli'sRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.
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Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore the roots, costs, and recovery process of people pleasing, highlighting how it often stems from fear of conflict, guilt, or learned conditioning. The hosts discuss the emotional and relational toll—like resentment, burnout, and lack of authentic connection—while also offering practical tools to build awareness, set boundaries, and communicate needs more clearly. Ultimately, they emphasize shifting from guilt-based to values-based deci...
2025-11-1446 min
Relationship AdviceHas Psychobabble Infiltrated Our Culture? A conversation with Joe NucciRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
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In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter and Cayla sit down with therapist and author Joe Nucci to unpack themes from his book Psychobabble. They dive into common therapy-related myths—like the idea that “everyone needs therapy” or that “more emotional intimacy is always better”—and explore how cultural messages about mental health can sometimes oversimplify or distort deeper truths. The conversation blends humor and insight as they challeng...
2025-11-051h 04Relationship AdviceHas Psychobabble Infiltrated Our Culture? A conversation with Joe NucciRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN
In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter and Cayla sit down with therapist and author Joe Nucci to unpack themes from his book Psychobabble. They dive into common therapy-related myths—like the idea that “everyone needs therapy” or that “more emotional intimacy is always better”—and explore how cultural messages about mental health can sometimes oversimplify or distort deeper truths. The conversation blends humor and insight as they challeng...
2025-11-051h 04
Relationship AdviceHow To Navigate Family Drama Part 2 - In LawsRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
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Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack the tricky dynamics of navigating family drama—especially with in-laws—through relatable stories, humor, and therapy-based insight. They explore how couples often get caught in “who’s right” battles instead of understanding each other’s emotional experiences and family conditioning. The conversation moves from examples like holiday conflicts and boundary differences to practical strategies for curiosity, validation, and creating teamwork when families collide...
2025-10-2954 minRelationship AdviceHow To Navigate Family Drama Part 2 - In LawsRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.
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Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack the tricky dynamics of navigating family drama—especially with in-laws—through relatable stories, humor, and therapy-based insight. They explore how couples often get caught in “who’s right” battles instead of understanding each other’s emotional experiences and family conditioning. The conversation moves from examples like holiday conflicts and boundary differences to practical strategies for curiosity, validation, and creating teamwork when families collide...
2025-10-2954 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Navigate Family DramaRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN
In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the messy reality of family differences—why gatherings can trigger us, how long-held “rules of the game” shape family conflict, and what we can do to stay grounded when things get heated. They explore common sources of family drama—holidays, parenting, politics, religion, and generational expectations—and how guilt, resentment, and old patterns keep us stuck. Ultimately, the conversation c...
2025-10-2249 minRelationship AdviceHow To Navigate Family DramaRELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS
Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN
In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the messy reality of family differences—why gatherings can trigger us, how long-held “rules of the game” shape family conflict, and what we can do to stay grounded when things get heated. They explore common sources of family drama—holidays, parenting, politics, religion, and generational expectations—and how guilt, resentment, and old patterns keep us stuck. Ultimately, the conversation c...
2025-10-2249 min
Relationship AdviceCreating A Positive CycleIn this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the story I’m telling myself…” to the game-changing “help me help you help me” skill, this episode shows how simple awareness and repair can turn everyday tension into deeper connection.
Main Talking Points:
2025-10-1547 minRelationship AdviceCreating A Positive CycleIn this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the story I’m telling myself…” to the game-changing “help me help you help me” skill, this episode shows how simple awareness and repair can turn everyday tension into deeper connection.
Main Talking Points:
2025-10-1547 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Find Safe Attachment with Jessica BaumJessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens through safe, consistent relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of “anchors”—people who can provide presence, safety, and co-regulation—as a pathway toward secure attachment and earned security.
Colter, Lauren, and Jessica talk about topics such as:
- Codependency = anxious attachment
- Cultural pressure for independence
- Healing through safe connection
...
2025-10-0858 minRelationship AdviceHow To Find Safe Attachment with Jessica BaumJessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens through safe, consistent relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of “anchors”—people who can provide presence, safety, and co-regulation—as a pathway toward secure attachment and earned security.
Colter, Lauren, and Jessica talk about topics such as:
- Codependency = anxious attachment
- Cultural pressure for independence
- Healing through safe connection
...
2025-10-0858 min
Relationship AdviceWhy Can't They Just Get Over ItThis episode looks at why your partner might struggle to “just get over” something that feels small to you. Often, their reaction isn’t really about the forgotten text or missed plan—it’s about old wounds from times they felt invisible or unimportant. Instead of brushing it off, the episode shows how empathy and repair can turn these moments into opportunities for deeper connection.
Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into topics like:
- Why little things often hit deeper emotional scars.
- How “just get over it” shuts down closeness inst...
2025-10-0155 minRelationship AdviceWhy Can't They Just Get Over ItThis episode looks at why your partner might struggle to “just get over” something that feels small to you. Often, their reaction isn’t really about the forgotten text or missed plan—it’s about old wounds from times they felt invisible or unimportant. Instead of brushing it off, the episode shows how empathy and repair can turn these moments into opportunities for deeper connection.
Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into topics like:
- Why little things often hit deeper emotional scars.
- How “just get over it” shuts down closeness inst...
2025-10-0155 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Love Withdrawers WellMost people have experienced moments of withdrawal or disconnection in relationships, especially during conflict. For some, these patterns can create misunderstandings and distance. No matter your role in the dynamic—whether pursuer or withdrawer—we can all benefit from deeper connection and greater emotional safety. Listen to today's show to learn how to support your withdrawer partner, foster secure attachment, and strengthen your bond.
Cayla, Colter, and Lauren discuss topics such as:
Understanding Withdrawers
Key Challenges for Withdrawers
Common Patterns in the Relationship
Practical Strategies for Loving Withdrawers
Balancing Needs in the Relationship
Shifting Toward Secure Atta...
2025-09-2445 minRelationship AdviceHow To Love Withdrawers WellMost people have experienced moments of withdrawal or disconnection in relationships, especially during conflict. For some, these patterns can create misunderstandings and distance. No matter your role in the dynamic—whether pursuer or withdrawer—we can all benefit from deeper connection and greater emotional safety. Listen to today's show to learn how to support your withdrawer partner, foster secure attachment, and strengthen your bond.
Cayla, Colter, and Lauren discuss topics such as:
Understanding Withdrawers
Key Challenges for Withdrawers
Common Patterns in the Relationship
Practical Strategies for Loving Withdrawers
Balancing Needs in the Relationship
Shifting Toward Secure Atta...
2025-09-2445 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Love Pursuers WellThis episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships. The hosts share personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help listeners navigate these dynamics.
Key Discussion Points
Who are the pursuers in a relationship and what drives their behavior?
Pursuers are described as individuals who, during moments...
2025-09-1746 minRelationship AdviceHow To Love Pursuers WellThis episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships. The hosts share personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help listeners navigate these dynamics.
Key Discussion Points
Who are the pursuers in a relationship and what drives their behavior?
Pursuers are described as individuals who, during moments...
2025-09-1746 min
Relationship AdviceWhat No One Told You Would Change Your Relationship After Having a Baby with Rachel Shepard OhtaThis episode explores how having a baby reshapes a couple’s relationship in ways few anticipate, from sleep deprivation and shifting roles to unexpected emotional triggers. Rachel shares her own experiences of disconnection, especially after her second child, and normalizes the challenges couples face when intimacy and teamwork take a hit. She emphasizes adjusting expectations, understanding temperament differences, and remembering that both partners and children are navigating new needs and patterns.
Colter, Lauren, and Rachel talk about:
- Shift in roles & teamwork
- Pressure & expectations
- Sleep deprivation
2025-09-1055 minRelationship AdviceWhat No One Told You Would Change Your Relationship After Having a Baby with Rachel Shepard OhtaThis episode explores how having a baby reshapes a couple’s relationship in ways few anticipate, from sleep deprivation and shifting roles to unexpected emotional triggers. Rachel shares her own experiences of disconnection, especially after her second child, and normalizes the challenges couples face when intimacy and teamwork take a hit. She emphasizes adjusting expectations, understanding temperament differences, and remembering that both partners and children are navigating new needs and patterns.
Colter, Lauren, and Rachel talk about:
- Shift in roles & teamwork
- Pressure & expectations
- Sleep deprivation
2025-09-1055 min
Relationship AdviceFear of IntimacyThis episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationships. They also highlight how childhood experiences, trauma, and personal wiring shape this fear, and offer hope that with curiosity, compassion, and therapy, people can learn to build deeper connections.
They talk about topics such as:
- Vulnerability vs. dumping
- Signs of fear
- Roo...
2025-08-2752 minRelationship AdviceFear of IntimacyThis episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationships. They also highlight how childhood experiences, trauma, and personal wiring shape this fear, and offer hope that with curiosity, compassion, and therapy, people can learn to build deeper connections.
They talk about topics such as:
- Vulnerability vs. dumping
- Signs of fear
- Roo...
2025-08-2752 min
Relationship AdviceNavigating Friendship ConflictThis episode dives into the often-overlooked complexities of friendship conflict and breakups, highlighting that friendships can be just as emotionally significant—and challenging—as romantic relationships. The hosts discuss common causes of tension, from mismatched expectations and life transitions to breaches of trust, unmet needs, and changes in values. They share strategies for addressing disconnection with curiosity and honesty, while also giving permission to let certain friendships fade when they no longer align.
Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about topics such as:
- Friendships as attachments
- Common reasons for tension
- Fri...
2025-08-2053 minRelationship AdviceNavigating Friendship ConflictThis episode dives into the often-overlooked complexities of friendship conflict and breakups, highlighting that friendships can be just as emotionally significant—and challenging—as romantic relationships. The hosts discuss common causes of tension, from mismatched expectations and life transitions to breaches of trust, unmet needs, and changes in values. They share strategies for addressing disconnection with curiosity and honesty, while also giving permission to let certain friendships fade when they no longer align.
Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about topics such as:
- Friendships as attachments
- Common reasons for tension
- Fri...
2025-08-2053 min
Relationship AdviceSensory Profiles & Sexual Intimacy w/ Dr. Sarah AndersonIn this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson returns to explore how sensory processing patterns impact physical and sexual intimacy. The hosts use a creative "readiness for sex" scale to frame how sensory input—like lighting, texture, sound, and smell—can act as either accelerators or brakes for sexual connection. By understanding your own and your partner’s sensory profile, couples can communicate better, reduce misunderstandings, and intentionally create more satisfying intimate experiences.
Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about:
The Eight Senses & Sexual Intimacy
Brakes vs. Accelerators
Sensory Preferences are Individualized
Practical Tools & Ideas
Communication is Central
And More!
...
2025-08-1351 minRelationship AdviceSensory Profiles & Sexual Intimacy w/ Dr. Sarah AndersonIn this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson returns to explore how sensory processing patterns impact physical and sexual intimacy. The hosts use a creative "readiness for sex" scale to frame how sensory input—like lighting, texture, sound, and smell—can act as either accelerators or brakes for sexual connection. By understanding your own and your partner’s sensory profile, couples can communicate better, reduce misunderstandings, and intentionally create more satisfying intimate experiences.
Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about:
The Eight Senses & Sexual Intimacy
Brakes vs. Accelerators
Sensory Preferences are Individualized
Practical Tools & Ideas
Communication is Central
And More!
...
2025-08-1351 min
Relationship AdviceSensory Profiles & How They Impact Our Relationships w/ Dr. Sarah AndersonIn this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson, a mental health occupational therapist, joins the hosts to explore how individual sensory profiles affect relationships. They break down the eight sensory systems—including lesser-known ones like interoception and proprioception—and explain how understanding these systems can create more compassion and effective communication between partners. By learning your own and your partner’s sensory patterns, you can reduce unnecessary conflict and better support each other, especially in moments of emotional dysregulation.
Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about:
The 8 Sensory Systems & Sensory Profiles
The Four Sensory Processing Patterns
...
2025-08-0651 minRelationship AdviceSensory Profiles & How They Impact Our Relationships w/ Dr. Sarah AndersonIn this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson, a mental health occupational therapist, joins the hosts to explore how individual sensory profiles affect relationships. They break down the eight sensory systems—including lesser-known ones like interoception and proprioception—and explain how understanding these systems can create more compassion and effective communication between partners. By learning your own and your partner’s sensory patterns, you can reduce unnecessary conflict and better support each other, especially in moments of emotional dysregulation.
Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about:
The 8 Sensory Systems & Sensory Profiles
The Four Sensory Processing Patterns
...
2025-08-0651 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Support A Loved OneHow do you support loved ones during challenging times, such as mental health struggles, medical issues, grief, or addiction? Listen as our hosts explore recognizing signs of struggle, managing emotional reactions like fear or frustration, and offering effective support by combining curiosity, validation, and clear communication.
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about these topics
Common Struggles
Emotional Responses in Helper Role
Signs of Struggle
Strategies for Support
Navigating Boundaries
Building Connection
And more!
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2025-07-3048 minRelationship AdviceHow To Support A Loved OneHow do you support loved ones during challenging times, such as mental health struggles, medical issues, grief, or addiction? Listen as our hosts explore recognizing signs of struggle, managing emotional reactions like fear or frustration, and offering effective support by combining curiosity, validation, and clear communication.
In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about these topics
Common Struggles
Emotional Responses in Helper Role
Signs of Struggle
Strategies for Support
Navigating Boundaries
Building Connection
And more!
Give Me Discounts!
Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.
2025-07-3048 min
Relationship AdviceKnowing How To Name Emotions Will Deepen Your Connection To Yourself And OthersBeing able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to navigate conflict and communicate more vulnerably and effectively.
In this episode we talk about:
Language Shapes Emotional Awareness
The Four Core Emotions
People Vary in Emotional Intensity
Connection Requires Vulnerability
Self-Reflection Tools...
2025-06-1154 minRelationship AdviceKnowing How To Name Emotions Will Deepen Your Connection To Yourself And OthersBeing able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to navigate conflict and communicate more vulnerably and effectively.
In this episode we talk about:
Language Shapes Emotional Awareness
The Four Core Emotions
People Vary in Emotional Intensity
Connection Requires Vulnerability
Self-Reflection Tools...
2025-06-1154 min
Relationship AdviceMaking Non-Evil, Generous Assumptions About Our Partner’s ResponsesIn this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connection.
We cover topics such as:
We often assume the worst based on our own insecurities.
Generous assumptions reduce conflict.
Shift from “they’re against me” to “they’re struggling.”
Mutual generosity creat...
2025-06-0451 minRelationship AdviceMaking Non-Evil, Generous Assumptions About Our Partner’s ResponsesIn this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connection.
We cover topics such as:
We often assume the worst based on our own insecurities.
Generous assumptions reduce conflict.
Shift from “they’re against me” to “they’re struggling.”
Mutual generosity creat...
2025-06-0451 min
Relationship AdviceWhen Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made ExplicitDive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer practical guidance on organizing your thoughts, understanding your own context, and inviting your partner into a collaborative conversation rather than a demand-response dynamic.
We cover topics such as:
Protected vs Vul...
2025-05-2856 minRelationship AdviceWhen Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made ExplicitDive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer practical guidance on organizing your thoughts, understanding your own context, and inviting your partner into a collaborative conversation rather than a demand-response dynamic.
We cover topics such as:
Protected vs Vul...
2025-05-2856 min
Relationship AdviceFor When You Feel Disillusioned In Your RelationshipThis episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the root causes of change, and decide whether to grow through it or lovingly let go.
We cover topics such as:
Feeling let down in a relationship is normal
Life stress ma...
2025-05-2152 minRelationship AdviceFor When You Feel Disillusioned In Your RelationshipThis episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the root causes of change, and decide whether to grow through it or lovingly let go.
We cover topics such as:
Feeling let down in a relationship is normal
Life stress ma...
2025-05-2152 min
Relationship AdviceHow Much Of Our Intimate Partner Relationships We Should Be SharingThis episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, culture, and attachment styles shape our comfort with disclosure. The conversation emphasizes that couples benefit from explicit conversations about preferences, risks, and the importance of flexibility when navigating this topic.
We cover topics such as:
Motivations for Sharing
Risk...
2025-05-1449 minRelationship AdviceHow Much Of Our Intimate Partner Relationships We Should Be SharingThis episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, culture, and attachment styles shape our comfort with disclosure. The conversation emphasizes that couples benefit from explicit conversations about preferences, risks, and the importance of flexibility when navigating this topic.
We cover topics such as:
Motivations for Sharing
Risk...
2025-05-1449 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Know When To Call It Quits In A RelationshipIn this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult.
They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episode encourages self-trust, gathering support, experimenting with boundaries, and, when needed, seeking professional help like couples therapy or intensives for greater clarity.
We cover topics such as:
Why...
2025-05-0748 minRelationship AdviceHow To Know When To Call It Quits In A RelationshipIn this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult.
They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episode encourages self-trust, gathering support, experimenting with boundaries, and, when needed, seeking professional help like couples therapy or intensives for greater clarity.
We cover topics such as:
Why...
2025-05-0748 min
Relationship AdviceHow to Know When To Take A Break in ConflictIn this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emphasizes that reframing breaks not as avoidance but as tools for better communication can help couples build trust and deeper understanding.
We cover topics such as:
Recognizing Dysregulation
Breaks vs Avoidance
Organizing During...
2025-04-3048 minRelationship AdviceHow to Know When To Take A Break in ConflictIn this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emphasizes that reframing breaks not as avoidance but as tools for better communication can help couples build trust and deeper understanding.
We cover topics such as:
Recognizing Dysregulation
Breaks vs Avoidance
Organizing During...
2025-04-3048 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Handle Different Paces In Emotional GrowthWhen emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open dialogue, and creative ways to reconnect.In this episode, we cover topics such as:
Avoiding Righteousness
Pause the Binary Thinking
Asking Open-Ended Questions
Exploring Other Support Systems
Discernment and Clarity
Give Me D...
2025-04-2347 minRelationship AdviceHow To Handle Different Paces In Emotional GrowthWhen emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open dialogue, and creative ways to reconnect.In this episode, we cover topics such as:
Avoiding Righteousness
Pause the Binary Thinking
Asking Open-Ended Questions
Exploring Other Support Systems
Discernment and Clarity
Give Me D...
2025-04-2347 min
Relationship AdviceWhy Do My Partner And I Have Different Sex DrivesExplore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s needs. The conversation also challenges common gender-based assumptions about sex and introduces the idea of sexual pursuit and withdrawal patterns as part of a couple’s dynamic.In this episode, we talk about topics such as:
Mis...
2025-04-1649 minRelationship AdviceWhy Do My Partner And I Have Different Sex DrivesExplore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s needs. The conversation also challenges common gender-based assumptions about sex and introduces the idea of sexual pursuit and withdrawal patterns as part of a couple’s dynamic.In this episode, we talk about topics such as:
Mis...
2025-04-1649 min
Relationship AdviceWhat To Do When Your Partner is Still DefensiveIn this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond can completely shift the dynamic between you and your partner. Listen to today’s show to learn how to stay grounded, break negative cycles, and build true emotional safety—even when your partner is still react...
2025-04-0944 minRelationship AdviceWhat To Do When Your Partner is Still DefensiveIn this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond can completely shift the dynamic between you and your partner. Listen to today’s show to learn how to stay grounded, break negative cycles, and build true emotional safety—even when your partner is still react...
2025-04-0944 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Let People Feel Their FeelingsThe concept of "letting people feel their feelings" may be confusing to some, however in this episode, Colter, Cayla and Lauren emphasize the importance of allowing others to experience emotions like anger, disappointment, or frustration without trying to fix, dismiss, or control them. Listen to unpack the internal discomfort that often drives our impulse to manage others’ emotions, which can stem from fear of being misunderstood, shame, or a lack of emotional literacy. The conversation highlights the value of emotional regulation, self-reflection, and understanding the function of emotions as keys to fostering healthier and more authentic relationships.
2025-04-0245 minRelationship AdviceHow To Let People Feel Their FeelingsThe concept of "letting people feel their feelings" may be confusing to some, however in this episode, Colter, Cayla and Lauren emphasize the importance of allowing others to experience emotions like anger, disappointment, or frustration without trying to fix, dismiss, or control them. Listen to unpack the internal discomfort that often drives our impulse to manage others’ emotions, which can stem from fear of being misunderstood, shame, or a lack of emotional literacy. The conversation highlights the value of emotional regulation, self-reflection, and understanding the function of emotions as keys to fostering healthier and more authentic relationships.
2025-04-0245 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Decide What Are Non-Negotiables In A RelationshipThis episode of the Relationship Advice podcast explores the value of creating a Non-Negotiables List to establish clear boundaries and expectations in relationships. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss how striking the right balance—neither too rigid nor too lenient—can lead to healthier connections in both dating and marriage. They also offer practical strategies for crafting a personalized list that promotes self-awareness, intentional decision-making, and meaningful communication.In the episode, we talk about topics such as:
Understanding Non-Negotiables
Balancing the List
Application in Dating
Role in Marriage
Flexibility / Rigidity
and more!
2025-03-2649 minRelationship AdviceHow To Decide What Are Non-Negotiables In A RelationshipThis episode of the Relationship Advice podcast explores the value of creating a Non-Negotiables List to establish clear boundaries and expectations in relationships. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss how striking the right balance—neither too rigid nor too lenient—can lead to healthier connections in both dating and marriage. They also offer practical strategies for crafting a personalized list that promotes self-awareness, intentional decision-making, and meaningful communication.In the episode, we talk about topics such as:
Understanding Non-Negotiables
Balancing the List
Application in Dating
Role in Marriage
Flexibility / Rigidity
and more!
2025-03-2649 min
Relationship AdviceCuriosity Over QuestioningWhat’s the difference between curiosity and questioning in relationships? Learn about the importance of approaching emotional challenges with openness rather than interrogation. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren share their personal journey into couples therapy, attachment theory, and the development of resources to help individuals heal from anxious attachment. In this episode, they talk about topics such as:
Difference in Curiosity and Questioning
Impact of Questioning
How to Lead w/ Curiosity
Communicating Emotional Need Effectively
Developing Healthier Responses to Triggers
and more!
Give Me Discounts!Amazfit - Visit www...
2025-03-1950 minRelationship AdviceCuriosity Over QuestioningWhat’s the difference between curiosity and questioning in relationships? Learn about the importance of approaching emotional challenges with openness rather than interrogation. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren share their personal journey into couples therapy, attachment theory, and the development of resources to help individuals heal from anxious attachment. In this episode, they talk about topics such as:
Difference in Curiosity and Questioning
Impact of Questioning
How to Lead w/ Curiosity
Communicating Emotional Need Effectively
Developing Healthier Responses to Triggers
and more!
Give Me Discounts!Amazfit - Visit www...
2025-03-1950 min
Relationship AdviceHow To Heal Insecure Attachment With Julie MenannoJoined by special guest, Julie Menanno, our hosts sit down to discuss how to heal insecure attachment by focusing on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and developing a secure relationship with oneself. She emphasizes that attachment wounds manifest through self-abandonment, which leads to unhealthy relational patterns. Healing involves learning to sit with and process difficult emotions rather than seeking external reassurance, shifting from self-protection to self-support. In relationships, individuals must take turns being caregivers for one another, creating an attachment-friendly environment that fosters trust and security.Listen to learn more about topics like:
Self-Abandonment as t...
2025-03-1256 minRelationship AdviceHow To Heal Insecure Attachment With Julie MenannoJoined by special guest, Julie Menanno, our hosts sit down to discuss how to heal insecure attachment by focusing on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and developing a secure relationship with oneself. She emphasizes that attachment wounds manifest through self-abandonment, which leads to unhealthy relational patterns. Healing involves learning to sit with and process difficult emotions rather than seeking external reassurance, shifting from self-protection to self-support. In relationships, individuals must take turns being caregivers for one another, creating an attachment-friendly environment that fosters trust and security.Listen to learn more about topics like:
Self-Abandonment as t...
2025-03-1256 min
Relationship AdviceBoundaries And What's RightExplore the tension between personal experience and factual correctness in relationships, particularly in boundary-setting and decision-making. The hosts discuss how relying too heavily on logic and research to "win" arguments can create gridlock and emotional disconnection, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, empathy, and slowing down difficult conversations. They demonstrate how shifting from a debate-style approach to one focused on safety and understanding can lead to more productive and fulfilling discussions between partners.In the episode, we talk about topics such as:
Struggle Between Experience and "Being Right"
The Role of Control in Relationship...
2025-03-0553 minRelationship AdviceBoundaries And What's RightExplore the tension between personal experience and factual correctness in relationships, particularly in boundary-setting and decision-making. The hosts discuss how relying too heavily on logic and research to "win" arguments can create gridlock and emotional disconnection, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, empathy, and slowing down difficult conversations. They demonstrate how shifting from a debate-style approach to one focused on safety and understanding can lead to more productive and fulfilling discussions between partners.In the episode, we talk about topics such as:
Struggle Between Experience and "Being Right"
The Role of Control in Relationship...
2025-03-0553 min
Relationship AdviceRitualsThis episode explores the importance of rituals in relationships, emphasizing how they create trust, connection, and predictability between partners. Whether it is daily acts, like greeting each other after work or having a bedtime routine, or larger, less frequent traditions, like weekly date nights, annual celebrations, or even rituals for personal space. Without these conversations, there an be an unspoken expectations around rituals that can create frustration and misinterpretation in relationships. In the episode, we talk about topics such as:
Defining Rituals & Their Purpose
Unspoken Expectations
Types / Frequency of Rituals
Actionable Steps
and m...
2025-02-2645 minRelationship AdviceRitualsThis episode explores the importance of rituals in relationships, emphasizing how they create trust, connection, and predictability between partners. Whether it is daily acts, like greeting each other after work or having a bedtime routine, or larger, less frequent traditions, like weekly date nights, annual celebrations, or even rituals for personal space. Without these conversations, there an be an unspoken expectations around rituals that can create frustration and misinterpretation in relationships. In the episode, we talk about topics such as:
Defining Rituals & Their Purpose
Unspoken Expectations
Types / Frequency of Rituals
Actionable Steps
and m...
2025-02-2645 min
Relationship AdviceWhat Is A Negative Couples Cycle?A negative couples cycle is a recurring pattern of interaction in which partners react to each other’s protective moves, escalating conflict rather than addressing the underlying emotions. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren illustrate how miscommunication and emotional defenses—such as criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal—reinforce each other in a self-perpetuating loop. By identifying these cycles and understanding the emotions driving them, couples can shift from blame to curiosity, fostering better connection and repair.In the episode, we touch on relationship topics such as:
The Root of Negative Cycles
Common Protective Moves
Emotional Drivers of Con...
2025-02-1945 minRelationship AdviceWhat Is A Negative Couples Cycle?A negative couples cycle is a recurring pattern of interaction in which partners react to each other’s protective moves, escalating conflict rather than addressing the underlying emotions. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren illustrate how miscommunication and emotional defenses—such as criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal—reinforce each other in a self-perpetuating loop. By identifying these cycles and understanding the emotions driving them, couples can shift from blame to curiosity, fostering better connection and repair.In the episode, we touch on relationship topics such as:
The Root of Negative Cycles
Common Protective Moves
Emotional Drivers of Con...
2025-02-1945 min
Relationship AdviceSex: When To Say Yes & When To Say NoToday Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal preferences impact intimacy and why a simple "yes" or "no" isn’t always the best response. In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Understanding Individual Preferences
Accelerators & Breaks (Turn Ons/Offs)
Importance of Communication
Counter Offers / Negotiation
Creating a Safe Environment
Give Me Disc...
2025-02-1249 minRelationship AdviceSex: When To Say Yes & When To Say NoToday Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal preferences impact intimacy and why a simple "yes" or "no" isn’t always the best response. In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Understanding Individual Preferences
Accelerators & Breaks (Turn Ons/Offs)
Importance of Communication
Counter Offers / Negotiation
Creating a Safe Environment
Give Me Disc...
2025-02-1249 min
Relationship AdviceBoundariesToday Colter, Lauren and Cayla dive into boundaries, emphasizing their importance in maintaining personal energy, trust, and healthy relationships. The hosts delve into the pitfalls of rigid or non-existent boundaries, offering strategies to navigate requests thoughtfully while prioritizing individual values and needs. By sharing real-life examples, they highlight how to say "yes," "no," or propose counter-offers based on personal capacity and relational dynamics.In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Binary Boundaries: Resentment vs. Guilt
Values-Based Decisions Making
The Cost of Impulsive Responses
Counter Offers: Editing Requests
and more!
2025-02-0546 minRelationship AdviceBoundariesToday Colter, Lauren and Cayla dive into boundaries, emphasizing their importance in maintaining personal energy, trust, and healthy relationships. The hosts delve into the pitfalls of rigid or non-existent boundaries, offering strategies to navigate requests thoughtfully while prioritizing individual values and needs. By sharing real-life examples, they highlight how to say "yes," "no," or propose counter-offers based on personal capacity and relational dynamics.In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Binary Boundaries: Resentment vs. Guilt
Values-Based Decisions Making
The Cost of Impulsive Responses
Counter Offers: Editing Requests
and more!
2025-02-0546 min
Relationship AdvicePursuersWe hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them!In this episode we discuss:
The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards
How pursuers handle conflict
How we can love our pursuer partners more
How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers
...
2025-01-2956 minRelationship AdvicePursuersWe hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them!In this episode we discuss:
The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards
How pursuers handle conflict
How we can love our pursuer partners more
How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers
...
2025-01-2956 min
Relationship AdviceWithdrawersWe hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them!In this episode, we discuss:
The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards
How withdrawers handle conflict
How we can love our withdrawer partners more
How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers
...
2025-01-2235 minRelationship AdviceWithdrawersWe hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them!In this episode, we discuss:
The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards
How withdrawers handle conflict
How we can love our withdrawer partners more
How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers
...
2025-01-2235 min
Relationship AdviceYou Can Either Be Right Or Be In Relationship.In this episode Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive through what it means to be relational over being right. We've heard it said before that you can be right or you can be in a relationship. Which is so hard when you like being right as much as we all do! We also dig through how we get so focused on the content of the conversation but how the process is really what is important. In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Focusing on how vs what
Understanding emotional needs
Effective Communication S...
2025-01-1555 minRelationship AdviceYou Can Either Be Right Or Be In Relationship.In this episode Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive through what it means to be relational over being right. We've heard it said before that you can be right or you can be in a relationship. Which is so hard when you like being right as much as we all do! We also dig through how we get so focused on the content of the conversation but how the process is really what is important. In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Focusing on how vs what
Understanding emotional needs
Effective Communication S...
2025-01-1555 min
Relationship AdviceIndividuation Is The Key to Your RelationshipIn today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication and connection in relationships. The episode highlights practical strategies for navigating common relational challenges, emphasizing the importance of understanding and negotiating needs.In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Understanding Individuation
Emotional Needs vs. Actionable Requests
Raw Spots and Their Influence
Negotiation and Boundaries
Effective Communication Strategies
and more!
Episode...
2025-01-0844 minRelationship AdviceIndividuation Is The Key to Your RelationshipIn today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication and connection in relationships. The episode highlights practical strategies for navigating common relational challenges, emphasizing the importance of understanding and negotiating needs.In the episode, we touch on topics such as:
Understanding Individuation
Emotional Needs vs. Actionable Requests
Raw Spots and Their Influence
Negotiation and Boundaries
Effective Communication Strategies
and more!
Episode...
2025-01-0844 min
Relationship AdviceThe Window of Tolerance And Staying Emotionally RegulatedIn this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich explore the concept of the "Window of Tolerance," a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. They discuss its importance in maintaining emotional regulation and improving relationships. The hosts delve into how understanding this concept can help navigate stress, build resilience, and foster healthier interpersonal dynamics.In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
Window of Tolerance Overview
Emotional Regulation
Fight, Flight, Freeze Impulses
Triggers and Resources
Relational Applications
Practical Tools
SponsoredSpark...
2025-01-0250 minRelationship AdviceThe Window of Tolerance And Staying Emotionally RegulatedIn this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich explore the concept of the "Window of Tolerance," a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. They discuss its importance in maintaining emotional regulation and improving relationships. The hosts delve into how understanding this concept can help navigate stress, build resilience, and foster healthier interpersonal dynamics.In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
Window of Tolerance Overview
Emotional Regulation
Fight, Flight, Freeze Impulses
Triggers and Resources
Relational Applications
Practical Tools
SponsoredSpark...
2025-01-0250 min
Relationship AdviceWhat Can You Learn After 500 Episodes? Chase Celebration!On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being.In this episode we discuss topics that include:
Chase's Reflections on Hosting
Attachment Styles
Effective Communication
Balance in Relationships
Friendships and Support Networks
Therapeutic and Somatic Practices
SponsoredSpark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com...
2024-12-2652 minRelationship AdviceWhat Can You Learn After 500 Episodes? Chase Celebration!On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being.In this episode we discuss topics that include:
Chase's Reflections on Hosting
Attachment Styles
Effective Communication
Balance in Relationships
Friendships and Support Networks
Therapeutic and Somatic Practices
SponsoredSpark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com...
2024-12-2652 min
Relationship AdviceFoundations of a Healthy RelationshipThis episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connections. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, the episode advocates for learning and practicing relational skills through therapy and real-life experiences.In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
Emotional Regulation / Window of Tolerance
Recognizing/Breaking Negative Cycles
...
2024-12-1849 minRelationship AdviceFoundations of a Healthy RelationshipThis episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connections. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, the episode advocates for learning and practicing relational skills through therapy and real-life experiences.In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
Emotional Regulation / Window of Tolerance
Recognizing/Breaking Negative Cycles
...
2024-12-1849 min
Relationship AdviceProtective Moves With Our New Hosts!In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like defensiveness, criticism, passive aggressiveness, avoidance, or over explaining—are common yet often disconnecting strategies.Key Points Include:
Understanding Protective Moves
Examples and Intentions
Origins and Patterns
Moving Through Conflict
Building Resources
The...
2024-12-1149 minRelationship AdviceProtective Moves With Our New Hosts!In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like defensiveness, criticism, passive aggressiveness, avoidance, or over explaining—are common yet often disconnecting strategies.Key Points Include:
Understanding Protective Moves
Examples and Intentions
Origins and Patterns
Moving Through Conflict
Building Resources
The...
2024-12-1149 min
Relationship AdviceCreating A Values Driven RelationshipUnderstanding our values and communicating them with our partner is an important exercise to create a thriving relationship. Listen to today's episode to learn more about creating a values driven relationship. In this episode with Colter Bloxom we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
The important difference between values and goals
How to clarify your values and communicate them with your partner
What to do when your values don't align with your partner's
Understanding and clarifying your non-negotiable values
When what we think we want is not what is really best for us
The importance of di...
2024-06-0642 minRelationship AdviceCreating A Values Driven RelationshipUnderstanding our values and communicating them with our partner is an important exercise to create a thriving relationship. Listen to today's episode to learn more about creating a values driven relationship. In this episode with Colter Bloxom we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
The important difference between values and goals
How to clarify your values and communicate them with your partner
What to do when your values don't align with your partner's
Understanding and clarifying your non-negotiable values
When what we think we want is not what is really best for us
The importance of di...
2024-06-0642 min