Tony & Sydney Kell - Podcast Details

Shows

The Virtual CouchLive Q&A with Sydney Overbay: Perception vs. Reality, Emotional Immaturity and Growth, Faith Deconstruction, ADHD & MoreWhat do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A.In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis.With their signature mix of warmth, wit, and psychological depth, Tony and Sydney explore how perception truly shapes reality (via the Dartmouth scar study), what...2025-07-281h 14

The Mortgage ChatWhat can you buy in Sydney for $1.1 million in 2024—and is it worth it?What can you buy in Sydney for $1.1 million in 2024—and is it worth it?In this episode of The Mortgage Chat, I’m breaking down exactly what I bought, where I bought it, why I bought it, and how I ran the numbers before committing.I'm Tony Xia, the Founder and Director of The Mortgage Agency, one of Sydney’s leading mortgage broker firms. We help Aussies buy smarter, invest wisely, and pay down debt faster.🏠 In this episode, you'll learn:✅ What kind of property I purchased for $1.1M✅ How I crunched th...2025-07-0613 min

Escape From Vault DisneyThe Boys: The Sherman Brothers' StoryIn this episode, after way too many delays, the randomizer kicks off this year's Patreon Request Month by going all the way back to 2009 to pick E.J. Riley's request for a documentary about two legendary brothers who became Walt Disney's personal staff songwriters in the 1960s. Over the course of their illustrious decades-spanning careers, they composed such all-time classic beloved evergreen masterpieces as "Fidelity Feduciary Bank," "Let's Put It Over with Grover," "The Boomps Song" and of course "Detroit." But beneath those hummable earworms, all was not well for Richard and Robert, for theirs is a story that...2025-05-131h 23

Visions & TonesDr. Rodrigo Perez Toledo | Exploring Race and Sexuality in Sydney's Gay Saunas - S4E9In this captivating episode of the "Visions and Tones," host, Dr. T sits down with Dr. Rodrigo Perez Toledo, a distinguished Anthropologist from Mexico, but currently living and working in Sydney Australia, known for his compelling research on race and sexuality among Chinese communities in Sydney. Together, they delve into Dr. Perez Toledo's groundbreaking work titled '"In the Saunas, I'm Either Invisible or Camouflaged": Colonial Fantasies and Imaginations in Sydney's Gay Saunas', exploring themes of decolonial thinking, male homoeroticism, and the intriguing dynamics within Sydney’s gay saunas. Tune in as they discuss the intersection of ra...2025-04-241h 02

The Virtual CouchThe Self-Care Paradox: Why Putting Yourself First Isn't Selfish and Is “Healthy Narcissism” a Thing? Live QA w/Tony and Mackie OverbayWhat happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity.In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap (complete with butterfly stitches), they dive into profound conversations about relationships, mental health, and personal growth....2025-02-171h 21 $Sydney Writers\' Festival$ Sydney Writers' FestivalYour Favourites’ Favourites: Tony Birch and Graham AkhurstIn Your Favourites’ Favourites, our most loved writers introduce one of their favourite authors. Acclaimed Women & Children author Tony Birch sits down with debut writer Graham Akhurst, a Fulbright Scholar who drafted his YA novel, Borderland, while studying in renowned writing program at Hunter College in New York City. This gripping coming-of-age story follows a city-born First Nations teenager on an epic quest to figure out who he is. Join Tony and Graham as they discuss First Nations identity, the impact of colonisation and what happens when you take a stand.  This episode was...2025-01-2150 min

The Virtual CouchLive Q&A with Tony and Sydney - Navigating Mental Health: Highly Sensitive People, Narcissism, Emotional Immaturity, ADHD, and “Good Therapy”In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, host Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a live Q&A session originally aired on TikTok. The duo addresses a variety of mental health topics, including ADHD management, the importance of setting realistic New Year's resolutions, and how to navigate emotional boundaries in relationships. Listeners can learn about the differences between CBT and ACT therapy, how to handle emotional immaturity and narcissism in relationships, and practical strategies for dealing with ADHD, such as medication and increasing emotional tolerance. Tony and Sydney...2025-01-201h 21

The Mortgage ChatWill Sydney's New Construction Rules Help Solve the Housing Crisis? New Building Regulations 2024In this episode of The Mortgage Chat, we have Charbel Simon, Founder and Director of Refined Group, a Sydney-based company specializing in designing and building homes, outdoor spaces, and pools.Charbel discusses the latest changes in the construction industry and their impact on builders like himself. Joining Tony Xia, Director of The Mortgage Agency, Charbel delves into the implications of the New South Wales Government's new regulations for medium, low, and high-rise buildings.Amidst the stabilization in the building market, Charbel shares insights into supplier and trade challenges, changes in building codes, and proposed legislation. 2024-04-0833 min

Waking Up to NarcissismTransforming or Transgressing? The Thin Line Between Emotional Growth and WeaponizationTony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the misuse of self-help and philosophical principles by the narcissist and the emotionally immature. Tony uses Stoicism and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca as a backdrop to show how seemingly safe topics like self-care, hobbies, and reasons to focus on the here and now can be weaponized and used as manipulation tactics by the emotionally immature and those who exhibit strong narcissistic traits and tendencies. Tony also provides examples of addressing these misinterpretations and outlines the importance of personal growth, self-reflection, and accepting one's imperfections to achieve a healthier mindset and better...2024-03-0346 min

Waking Up to NarcissismFrom Grandiose to Vulnerable With a Touch of Emotional Immaturity - Exploring Attachment Styles Pt1 of 2Tony zooms in on emotional immaturity, grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, and how they affect relationships. He illustrates these concepts with hypothetical scenarios and emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between healthy ego and pathological defensive narcissism. He also briefly highlights how developing a healthy ego can contribute to personal growth and better relationships. Part two of this episode will dig deeper into the origin stories of narcissistic personality disorder and further explore the different attachment styles.00:00 Introduction and Welcome to the Show00:21 Understanding Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism00:43 Exploring Attachment Styles and...2024-02-2346 min

The Virtual CouchLive Relationship QA w/Sydney Overbay IIThis description and the show notes are brought to you directly from AI, Sydney, and I truly wouldn't sound so silly! This dialogue-based presentation dives deep into the complexities of mental health and interpersonal relationships. With therapy experiences, personal observations, and explored topics ranging from narcissism, ADHD, and addiction to marriage and parenting, Tony and his co-host Sydney guide the audience through poignant discussions. Key concerns include asserting oneself in relationships, dealing with alcoholics, recognizing psychopathic traits, and handling personal issues such as adult ADHD and depression. The conversation also delves into the potent combination of medicine and therapy...2024-02-161h 12

The Virtual CouchLive Relationship QA w/Sydney Overbay I(Description provided by AI, i.e., we’re really not this stuffy) On this TikTok live session, a father-daughter duo - Tony, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and his daughter, Sydney- discuss complicated familial relationships, drawing from a real-life scenario. They elaborate on the perspective of a 15-year-old girl attempting to navigate difficult relationships with her father and his new girlfriend after the death of her mother. The pair extract valuable lessons and give insightful advice about seeking validation, getting emotional support, and making the necessary decisions for one's emotional well-being. They also discuss inherent human behaviors and th...2024-02-0254 min

Waking Up to NarcissismUnmasking Family Roles in a Narcissistic/Emotionally Immature HouseholdTony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the hidden dynamics and assigned roles within dysfunctional and narcissistic family systems. The podcast outlines the roles of the Enabler, the Hero, the Scapegoat, the Lost Child, and the Mascot, all of whom are developed as coping mechanisms to manage family stress and chaos. Each role is reviewed in depth, including the implications for the individual's development, identity, and potential for later life challenges and relationships. The episode also emphasizes the importance of recognizing these roles, seeking therapeutic support, and redefining one's identity beyond these imposed familial expectations.00:00 Introduction...2024-01-3145 min

Waking Up to NarcissismEmotional Whiplash in Narcissistic/Emotionally Immature RelationshipsTony tackles the topic of emotional whiplash in narcissistic relationships. He explores how people can feel loved and appreciated one moment and then demeaned and dismissed the next by a narcissistic partner, leading to confusion and emotional turmoil. Using the story of Sarah and Mike, he unpacks this unpredictable and damaging dynamic. Tony also explains concepts like whole object relations and object constancy and how they become compromised in emotionally immature relationships. He finally provides a broad range of personal experiences from his listeners, further illustrating the impact of emotional whiplash in people's lives.00:00...2024-01-1737 min

Waking Up to NarcissismCan You Ever Express YOUR Feelings to Narcissists and Feel Seen?If you say “it” the right way, will the narcissist ever get “it” whatever “it” is? Tony introduces his 'Five Foolproof Formulas for Navigating Narcissistic Nonsense,' which helps maintain emotional stability and a sense of self in challenging relationships. Tony also critically analyzes a passage from the book 'Rethinking Narcissism' by Dr. Craig Malkin, where he finds a logical inconsistency that might give false hope to 'pathologically kind persons' who constantly try to induce 'aha moments' in their narcissistic partners. He also highlights the concept of differentiation of self and its importance in maintaining one’s emotional stability and sense of s...2024-01-0956 min

The Mortgage ChatDuplex Building Boom: Are They Set To Take Over Sydney's Property Market? | The Mortgage Chat Ep. 10In this episode of The Mortgage Chat, we have Patrick Ung, director of Pro Duplex, a specialist duplex builder company in the Parramatta and Ryde Council areas. Patrick talks about the benefits of building duplexes, the costs involved, and tips for selecting a duplex site.He also discusses dealing with local councils on duplex approvals, the duplex building process, and trends in the construction industry.If you want to learn how to leverage your property for maximum profit or create a living arrangement that keeps your f...2024-01-0841 min

Waking Up to NarcissismStill Wondering if YOU Are the Narcissist/Did They Finally “Get it?” - Introducing “Shelf Life”“If I’m asking if I’m the narcissist, then Tony says I’m not!” Tony shares that he receives more feedback on this concept than any other from WUTN listeners. But what happens when the narcissist or emotionally immature person in your life gets ahold of this “script?” Does simply repeating this sentence elicit change? Tony details this question and introduces the concept of 'shelf life', a temporary behavioral change in emotionally immature people. We debate the question, 'If you're asking yourself if you're a narcissist, then are you one?' and touch on the use of therapy or self-help m...2023-12-2158 min

The Virtual CouchWhen Therapy/Coaching Does More Harm Than Good - The Destructive Nature of Shame and BlameTony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists trul...2023-10-2337 min

Waking Up to NarcissismThe Confabulation Conundrum: When Reality Gets DistortedHave you ever felt like someone is rewriting history, leaving you questioning your memory and sanity? What if there was a psychological explanation for this behavior? In today's episode, Tony revisits the concept of confabulation. Confabulation is a psychological mechanism where people create false memories or stories, often to fill gaps in their history or to avoid facing uncomfortable truths. We'll examine how this behavior is common among emotionally immature individuals and those with narcissistic tendencies. We'll also share real-life examples to help you recognize confabulation when it happens.Additionally, we'll discuss the principle...2023-10-1641 min

The Virtual CouchWorry Less, Live More: How to Hit the Happiness Jackpot by Letting GoHave you ever wondered why chasing happiness often leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Or why your need for control seems to be controlling you? Tony answers these questions and more as he dives into the complexities of happiness, control, and commitment through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He challenges the common notion that happiness is all about feeling good and explores a richer, more meaningful definition of happiness that aligns with our core values. He also tackles the human need for control and certainty, discussing how letting go and embracing uncertainty can be liberating, allowing us to...2023-10-1138 min

The Virtual CouchWounded by Words? Healing the Scars of Internal NegativityDive deep with Tony as he unravels the origins and implications of our "inner critic." From the evolutionary roots that kept our ancestors safe from predators to the modern-day societal pressures that amplify our self-doubt, discover why our brains are wired to magnify mistakes and how this impacts our mental well-being. Drawing from expert insights, like David Foster Wallace's profound reflections on conscious awareness and Marshall Rosenberg's principles of nonviolent communication, this episode sheds light on the powerful narratives we unconsciously craft about ourselves.Journey through the transformative power of self-compassion, understanding its significance...2023-10-0553 min

The Virtual CouchDo Babies and Robots Dream? How Dreams Improve Mental Health!Have you ever heard that when a baby, or a dog, or basically any animal is twitching, they are dreaming? But what if that twitching occurs in the womb or from a baby mouse whose eyes haven't yet opened? Tony discusses the article "What Are Dreams For" by Amanda Gefter, https://apple.news/ATyOGpIRDQNOHahTKYECH5Q This episode dives deep into the intricate relationship between dreams and our bodily sensations. Grounded in recent scientific research, we explore how our dreaming minds are influenced by physical signals, including heart rates, vestibular system information, and even muscular sensations. We'll discuss how dreams...2023-09-2825 min

The Virtual CouchBalancing Heartbeats, Hashtags and Postpartum Depression: Modern-Day Motherhood w/Gayane Aramyan, LMFTTony welcomes Gayane Aramyan, LMFT (https://www.therapywithgayane.com/, https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/), for an enlightening exploration of contemporary parenting. Tony expresses that he genuinely “doesn’t know what he doesn’t know,” as a seasoned (translation “old”) father whose parenting experience hails from a less digital era, as he engages in a candid dialogue with Gayane, a mother of a 3-year-old. They delve into the labyrinth of information that's now at the fingertips of every parent, sifting through the myriad of resources to discern the invaluable from what is sometimes best described as “noise.” Gayane offers a poignant firsthan...2023-09-0750 min

The Virtual CouchDifferentiation for Dummies: Finding Your Voice in the Relationship ChoirTony explains what the psychology “buzzword” differentiation means and why it is essential to not only be differentiated in your key relationships but also how differentiation, or being able to recognize and separate your feelings and emotions from external influences, like the comments and interactions with others, is a critical component of emotional maturity, and as cliched as it sounds, becoming the very best version of yourself in ALL aspects of your life, and ANY conversation. One listener shares their journey through a candid letter, highlighting the challenges and epiphanies experienced during therapy sessions. From understanding their partner's perspective to n...2023-08-3141 min

The Virtual CouchWhy We Misunderstand Each Other: An Exploration of Relational FramesTony explains why it is so easy to be misunderstood. He delves deep into the intricate world of Relational Frame Theory, shedding light on the pivotal role frame choice plays in our conversations. Through engaging discussions and real-life examples, Tony highlights the significance of understanding relationships and harnessing the power of curiosity. He touches upon the importance of approaching conversations with good intentions, observing without casting judgments, and navigating the challenges of differing interpretations of words like 'trauma.' By sharing a heartfelt letter from a listener, Tony vividly shows how past traumas shape our present, emphasizing the gaps...2023-08-2448 min

Waking Up to NarcissismBoundaries and Bucket Lists: Reclaiming Emotional PowerIn episode 85 of "Waking Up to Narcissism," host Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives deep into the complexities of relationships entangled with narcissistic traits. The journey begins with a relatable tale about a personalized gift basket, highlighting the significance of emotional connection, safety, and understanding in partnerships. Tony frames a healthy interaction between his wife and him through his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation, emphasizing the essence of curiosity, good intentions, and open communication. A heartfelt poem titled "Desperate Voice" paints the raw emotions of a loveless marriage, furthering the episode's core message of the longing for genuine intimacy. Tony...2023-08-2345 min

Waking Up to NarcissismThe Power of Temporary Connections: Understanding Bridge PartnersTony answers a listener's question about the uncertainty of coming out of a controlling relationship and suddenly recognizing you can be anything you want to be and not knowing where to begin. He then takes on the concept of a “Bridge Partner.” Finding your way through life's relational complexities often introduces us to pivotal figures who can be considered "bridge partners." These unique individuals act as connectors, helping us transition from one emotional or relational state to another. Their role is invaluable; they guide us from places of uncertainty, emotional vulnerability, or even pain to a clearer understanding of ours...2023-08-1452 min

Waking Up to NarcissismDeath By a Thousand Cuts 5 - The MusicalIn the enlightening fifth installment of "Death by a Thousand Cuts," we delve deep into the nuanced world of relationships marred by emotional immaturity and narcissistic behaviors. A dedicated listener, Emma bravely shares her journey of being trapped in a cycle of constantly appeasing her partner, losing touch with her own needs, and struggling with self-worth. Alongside her story, the episode unpacks numerous anecdotes from our listeners. These tales underscore the often-overlooked emotional traumas that accumulate over time, from seemingly trivial disagreements over movie nights and cooking preferences to the more significant dynamics of feeling unheard and dismissed. With...2023-08-0752 min

Waking Up to NarcissismI Want to “Lean In” Into Healing, Growth, Discomfort…But Somebody Needs To Convince My Body!In the latest episode of "Waking Up to Narcissism," Tony Overbay, LMFT, delves into the complexities of building emotional resilience, a key to overcoming past trauma and wounds that may go back to childhood. Contrary to popular belief, changing habits takes time but requires consistent and intentional effort over an extended period. The conversation turns to the importance of emotional intelligence and understanding its role in how we react or respond in situations, especially in relationships where our past experiences and wounds can often trigger impulsive reactions.Tony emphasizes that the path to improved...2023-07-2552 min

Waking Up to NarcissismUnseen Chains: Navigating the Subtleties of Coercive ControlToday we delve into the challenging topic of coercive control and how it shows up in emotionally immature and narcissistic relationships. We explore the fundamental contradiction of control and love, showing how genuine affection and dominance cannot coexist harmoniously. Coercive control is a powerful, often invisible manipulation tool employed by abusers to entrap their victims. This episode also features a mix of light-hearted elements, including a thought-provoking haiku, riddle, knock-knock joke, and Limerick about the complex interplay of love and control. As we transition, we also shed light on the portrayal of control and manipulation in true story movies...2023-07-1845 min

The Virtual CouchBuilding Bridges, Not Walls: Exploring the Four Pillars of Connected ConversationsTony Overbay, LMFT, delves into his Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation and introduces the acronym BASE to help listeners better remember the pillars during conversations. He also shares a new "pre-pillar" or becoming more grounded before entering the 4 pillar framework. The "pre-pillar" is based on Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication, emphasizing the need to discern concrete observations from subjective judgments. The BASE acronym is Benefit of the Doubt, Accept Their Perspective, Seek First to Understand, and Embrace the Conversation. These foundational pillars, when applied, can revolutionize how we communicate, fostering deeper connections and healthier r...2023-07-131h 04

Waking Up to NarcissismControl or Love: Breaking Free from Emotional Manipulation in RelationshipsIn today's episode, we delve into the captivating journey of Alex, a compassionate individual entangled in an emotionally manipulative relationship. This narrative vividly depicts his path from self-neglect and pleasing others to asserting his needs and reclaiming his identity. It demonstrates the brave decision to break free from toxicity and embark on a path to self-care, emphasizing the value of boundaries, self-love, and therapy. Listeners will learn about the implications of inconsistent parenting, the importance of emotional bonds, and the detrimental effects of emotional immaturity and pathological kindness in relationships.The episode highlights the...2023-07-0740 min

Waking Up to NarcissismUnderstanding Emotionally Immature and Narcissistic Individuals in Therapy: Insights for Individuals and TherapistsIn today’s episode, Tony delves into the complexities of working with emotionally immature or narcissistic individuals in couples therapy. He explains the challenges therapists face in discerning genuine commitment to change from manipulative behavior, as these individuals can initially come across as charming and convincing. Tony emphasizes the importance of recognizing patterns such as lying, minimizing behavior, love bombing, and maintaining control. He acknowledges that therapists may encounter difficulties in navigating these dynamics and encourages self-confrontation and personal growth. Additionally, Tony urges therapists to be aware of their own countertransference and to advocate for their client's well-being....2023-06-301h 24

Waking Up to NarcissismSurviving the RIDE: Breaking the Cycle of Intermittent Reinforcement in Narcissistic RelationshipsIn today’s episode, Tony delves deep into the hidden mechanisms that fuel toxic relationships. He uncovers the secret life of intermittent reinforcement, how it creates the “trauma bond,” and its powerful influence in addictive and toxic relationships, especially those involving narcissists or emotionally immature individuals. Pulling from the roots of B.F. Skinner's theories on operant conditioning and behaviorism, we'll journey through the ways in which behavior can be conditioned, manipulated, and maintained by external consequences.Get ready for a RIDE - a closer look at how "Reinforcement Intermittently Delivers Emotion," shaping relationships into a...2023-06-2033 min

The Virtual CouchNavigating Challenges: Lessons of Love and Resilience from Emma's StoryDuff and Keirra Dyer join Tony to share a deeply vulnerable story of their daughter Emma's loss and their journey of unconditional love, parenting, and resilience through the toughest of times. They open up about Emma's early struggles with pornography, the challenges that led them to send her to rehab, and the profound impact it had on Emma and their entire family. Amidst the unwavering love they have for their daughter, they also express feelings of helplessness as they witnessed extended periods of recovery followed by relapses. Despite enduring a heart-wrenching experience no family should endure, they find solace...2023-06-141h 44

Waking Up to NarcissismHealing the Scars: Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse and Reclaiming Self-WorthTony delves into the profound impact of trauma and emotional neglect on relationship patterns. He shares the story of John, who endured a chaotic and emotionally neglectful upbringing with narcissistic parents, only to later marry Sarah, who exhibited similar traits. John's yearning for validation and acceptance kept him trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship, leading to anxiety, depression, and a sense of hopelessness. Breaking free from a narcissistic trauma bond is a challenging journey that demands immense courage and support.The podcast also explores how psychological trauma inflicted by narcissistic partners can take a...2023-06-1248 min

Waking Up to NarcissismAutism or Narcissism? Unpacking Neurodivergent Relationships with Jodi Carlton, MEdIn today's episode, we dive deep into the complexities of neurodiversity and narcissism in relationships. Our guest, Jodi Carlton, brings a wealth of expertise, drawing from over two decades of experience as a therapist, educator, and coach, with a special focus on neurodiversity. She has an intimate understanding of neurodivergent individuals. She has worked extensively with individuals and couples across 13 countries, dealing with a spectrum of conditions, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and brain injury.In this conversation, Jodi offers her invaluable insights into the often misunderstood correlations and distinctions between autism and narcissism...2023-06-0552 min

The Virtual CouchShauna Roberts, LMFT on Anger, Therapy, and the "Tale of Pierre Santray!"Just a few days ago, my friend and former colleague Shauna Roberts, LMFT, suffered an A-Com Aneurysm - a swelling within the anterior communicating artery in the brain that has ruptured.From her daughter, “Miraculously, she made it past emergency surgery where they, amongst other things, put in a coil stint to stop the bleeding. She is currently intubated at St. Luke’s in Boise, where her body is sedated.Her Neurosurgeons have told us it is a miracle that she made it to surgery, to begin with, which we ar...2023-05-3149 min

Waking Up to NarcissismSanity over Spouse: Crafting Calm Amidst ChaosToday we dig more into the age-old question, "Should I stay or should I go?" And if I'm staying, what are some strategies to help maintain one's sanity? Tony unpacks a poignant email from a listener, shedding light on the subtle nuances of gaslighting - a common manipulation tactic used by narcissists. Through this exploration, you'll learn to identify these underhanded strategies, empowering you to take a step back and view the situation through an informed lens.Tony also shares a captivating story about letting go of the need for validation from a narcissistic...2023-05-2937 min

The Virtual CouchThe Trust Fall: Catching Hope in Relationships AgainHave you ever felt like a tightrope walker trying to balance your relationship on a fraying rope of trust? Or perhaps you're more of a DIY enthusiast who feels like they've been handed a relationship IKEA flatpack with a few missing screws and no instruction manual? In this episode, Tony dives head first into discussing the fundamental building blocks to rebuild that shaky thing we call trust. We'll talk about the virtues of kindness, the relentless commitment to truth-telling, the importance of upskilling in the art of life partnership, and why being as predictable as a sitcom punchline can...2023-05-2450 min

The Virtual CouchLove's Rough Draft: Rewriting Unhappy Marriages (aka Relationships Shouldn't Suck!)Tony dissects the article “Divorce Probably Won’t Make You Happier, Study Says” https://www.additudemag.com/happy-healthy-marriage-divorce-adhd-relationship-news/ and shares why phrases like “marital endurance” and “build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage” don’t exactly make for the best sales pitch for marriage. He shares what a “mediocre marriage” may be telling you and what a healthy relationship looks like as it matures. Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1...2023-05-1750 min

Waking Up to NarcissismI Don’t Even Know What That Means? Unmasking the Silent Symphony of the Ultimate Gaslighting Guffaw!Have you ever received accusations from a narcissist or emotionally immature person, left bewildered by claims about your words or actions? Have you ever been blamed for instructing your father on roofing specifics when you know nothing about roofs, even though your spouse is a roofer? In this episode, Tony delves into real-life stories from his exclusive women's Facebook group, examining instances where the narcissist or emotionally immature person is clueless about the extent of their gaslighting. These individuals share experiences of being accused of actions or words they genuinely couldn’t have come up with. Alongside these stories, To...2023-05-1557 min

Waking Up to NarcissismExploring the 5 Types of Narcissism pt 2 of 2 BONUS Murder on the Couch PreviewTony tackles the final 2 of the 5 types of narcissism in part 2 of 2, exploring the 5 types of narcissism. In part 1, he covered Overt and Covert, and he started to discuss Antagonistic narcissism, which led to a separate episode. Today Tony discusses Communal and Malignant narcissism. He references the article "5 Types of Narcissism and How to Spot Each," Medically reviewed by Jeffrey Ditzell, DO written By Courtney Telloian — Updated on September 15, 2021http://psychcentral.com/health/types-of-narcissismAnd stay tuned until the end of the podcast! Tony shares 20 minutes of the first episode of his new “true crim...2023-05-0755 min

The Virtual CouchSimple Phrases that Indicate the Health of your Relationship PLUS Murder on the Couch Preview!Tony discusses the 9 phrases that, if used daily, are strong indicators that “your relationship is more successful” than most from the article “Harvard-trained psychologist: If you use any of these 9 phrases every day, ‘your relationship is more successful’ than most” by Dr. Cortney Warren https://apple.news/AqM_s77doSAm_lfXllM343gAnd stay tuned until the end of the podcast! Tony shares 20 minutes of the first episode of his new “true crime meets therapy” podcast “Murder on the Couch,” co-hosted by his daughter Sydney Overbay. You can watch the episode on YouTube here https://youtu.be/OKi...2023-05-031h 01

Waking Up to NarcissismThey Really Do Suck the Life Out of You - The "Antagonistic" Attachment of the NarcissistTony goes on a quick tangent between parts 1 and 2 of exploring the five types of narcissists to look into the antagonistic attachment style of the narcissistic person. An “antagonist,” from purely a biological, scientific point of view, is a relationship in which one organism benefits at the expense of another. People in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships can often identify with the concept of playing the role of the organism that provides the benefit to another while losing themselves in the process. Tony references an article by Julie Hall, author of The Narcissist in Your Life https://amzn.to/3LCCy...2023-04-2832 min

The Virtual CouchPain is Unavoidable - Suffering...Not So Much (aka Optional)Pain is unavoidable; suffering, on the other hand, is apparently an option. Most people prefer neither pain nor suffering, but if suffering indeed is an option, how does one get rid of suffering in life? Tony references Jade Wu, Ph.D.'s article "Pain is Unavoidable, Suffering Is an Option" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202008/pain-is-unavoidable-suffering-is-option, and he explores Rick Hanson's "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom," https://amzn.to/3oMF3xsFind all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee...2023-04-2648 min

The Virtual CouchIntroducing "Murder on the Couch" - True Crime Meets Therapy...Follow Today!Murder on the Couch, a True Crime Meets Therapy Podcast co-hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning The Virtual Couch podcast, as well as Waking Up to Narcissism, and Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A Premium Podcast and his daughter Sydney Overbay, CD (college dropout) is Available Now! Go follow, subscribe and sign up wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find Murder on the Couch on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/show/6GJQeJxx4elDlcaW21JsvU?si=6787814df8d1409e or Apple Podcasts here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/murder-on-the-couch/id1684487066 2023-04-2500 min

Waking Up to NarcissismExploring the 5 Types of Narcissism pt 1 of 2Tony tackles the 5 types of narcissism in part 1 of 2. He references the article "5 Types of Narcissism and How to Spot Each," Medically reviewed by Jeffrey Ditzell, DO written By Courtney Telloian — Updated on September 15, 2021http://psychcentral.com/health/types-of-narcissismFind all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAnd follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can wa...2023-04-2241 min

Waking Up to NarcissismExploring Anxiety, Uncertainty, and "Narcissistic Victim Syndrome" w/Bonus HaikuTony talks more about anxiety, uncertainty, and the brain’s adorable desire to make sense of things that often don’t make sense. He reads a haiku and a poem from the women’s private Facebook group, and then he references “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome” from the article “12 Signs You’ve Experienced Narcissistic Abuse (Plus How to Get Help) by Crystal Raypole https://www.healthline.com/health/narcissistic-victim-syndrome#freezingFind all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAnd follow Tony on the Virtual Co...2023-04-1742 min

The Virtual CouchIntimacy (aka S-E-X) w/Dan Purcell of "Get Your Marriage On!"Let's talk about S to the E-X, aka "intimacy." Dan Purcell, host of the "Get Your Marriage On" podcast as well as the "Intimately Us" app https://r.intimately.us/tonyoverbay joins Tony to talk about the mission that he, along with his wife Emily, share of strengthening marriages by helping them deepen their connection through both physical and emotional intimacy. They are the creator of the popular "Intimately Us" app that has been downloaded over 300,000 times. They host romantic retreat getaways for couples and host the "Get Your Marriage On! Podcast and coach couples on how to have...2023-04-1253 min

Waking Up to NarcissismNavigating the Negative Effects of the Narcissistic (or Emotionally Immature) ParentPeople often stay in relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature partners in hopes that it will be better in the long run for the kids. Unfortunately, staying can often send the exact opposite message. Tony reads another poem from his private women's Facebook group and a letter from the son of a narcissistic father. He then shares Karyl McBride's article "How Narcissistic Parenting Can Affect Children" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-legacy-of-distorted-love/201802/how-narcissistic-parenting-can-affect-children Karyl is the author of the book "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" https://amzn.to/40P1ZdT 2023-04-0741 min

The Virtual CouchTeaching Our Kids (and our inner-child) Emotional IntelligenceChildhood abandonment and neglect issues can manifest in seemingly unrelated ways in adulthood. In this episode, Tony helps you identify how they show up and how you can help your kids become more emotionally intelligent and resilient. Tony's muse today is an article by Jonice Webb, a licensed psychologist and author of two books, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect https://amzn.to/3GewB03 and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents, and Your Children https://amzn.to/3m9fw0B He discusses the impact of emotional abandonment and neglect on...2023-04-0539 min

Waking Up to NarcissismFeeling Stuck? Recognizing the Negative Effects of Regret and Rumination"Regret is a common feeling that has both negative and positive effects," Sian Ferguson from the article "How to Move Past Regret." https://psychcentral.com/blog/a-powerful-exercise-for-moving-past-regret Tony talks about regret and rumination's roles in keeping people stuck in a trauma bond with a narcissist. And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0Subscribe t...2023-03-3141 min

The Virtual CouchAlexa Lovell - One Year After a Devastating Accident, Surviving Setbacks and Diving into the DetailsAlexa (Overbay) Lovell survived a near-fatal accident a little over one year ago. She dives into the details of what the past year has been like, including recovery setbacks, unrealistic expectations, continued frustrations, the reality of potential addiction to pain medications, what the future looks like regarding having children, and much more. Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchInside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael T...2023-03-291h 22

Waking Up to NarcissismThou Shalt Use Whichevereth Type of Toothpaste Thou Wantest - Breaking the Commandments of Narcissism (Finally!)People in relationships with narcissists, or extremely emotionally immature people, are often convinced, coerced, or controlled into believing that certain universal rules or commandments must be followed to continue in the relationship. In healthy relationships, both people are free to express how they do things and their likes and dislikes. Then if a change is necessary, it comes from mutually respectful conversations. Tony turned to the private women’s Facebook group to receive dozens of rules and commandments that many people kept to keep the peace in the home or because, over time, they believed that these were “universal trut...2023-03-2746 min

The Virtual CouchEntrepreneur, Podcaster, Writer or D) All of the Above - Zlatko Bijelic On Taking What Life Gives YouZlatko "Z" Bijelic is an entrepreneur, podcaster, app developer, dog dad, former college soccer player, and foodie. He has now journaled daily for over a year and is also a highly sought-after business coach and consultant. Simply put, while Z may appear like somebody who easily takes's life's lemons and makes them into lemonade, he has been through some really high ups, and really down downs in his life, but he continues to take what life gives him and uses it to change and innovate. You can learn more about Z at www.twitter.c...2023-03-2351 min

The Virtual CouchThe Power of Community to Combat Addiction - Chandler Rogers on How the Relay App Repels PornTony gives a "state of the union" address on working with people struggling with turning to pornography as a coping mechanism. He then interviews Chandler Rogers, CEO of Relay, an app that helps people stay connected and accountable on their recovery journey. Relay makes it easy to connect with a shame-free support group, an essential tool helping access recovery tools. Chandler personally overcame a struggle with compulsive pornography use and then used his experience to give back to others by creating a group-based recovery app called Relay for people seeking freedom from unwanted sexual b...2023-03-2253 min

Waking Up to NarcissismDana Killion, Author of “Where The Shadows Dance” on Finding Strength When You Feel You Have NoneAuthor Dana Killion joins Tony to discuss her memoir “Where the Shadows Dance,” available for pre-order at https://amzn.to/3yR0gIp Dana’s story is born of a life in turmoil and her husband’s addiction, a situation where the only way through was to write it. And as she wrote, the themes of her personal trauma became clear and loud. They screamed for attention because they are the themes of many women, not just women with an addict in their life, but women who have been silent and have set aside their truth for the benefit of another...2023-03-2044 min

The Virtual CouchDr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on Modeling Healthy Relationships, Trust, ADHD, Narcissism, and EFT vs. DifferentiationTony welcomes Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife back to The Virtual Couch for the 5th time! They discuss a variety of topics, including ADHD, the challenge of helping couples envision a version of a relationship they haven't seen modeled or experienced, narcissism and emotional immaturity, and how to help a spouse "lean in" when they see their partner begin to show up differently in a relationship where the spouse had previously felt unseen. They explore Emotionally Focused Therapy, the differentiation models of couples therapy, and the role of self-confrontation not only for their clients but also in their own lives and...2023-03-151h 07

Waking Up to NarcissismWhy People Stay in Unhealthy Relationships - You Do Deserve to Be Happy!Why do people stay in unhealthy relationships? Many don't believe they are deserving of happiness. Tony tackles this topic using "When You Don't Feel You Deserve to Be Happy" by Robert Taibbi as his muse and a post from his women's private Facebook group. The article can be found at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201901/when-you-feel-you-dont-deserve-be-happy Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAnd follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on...2023-03-0345 min

Escape From Vault DisneyBeverly Hills Chihuahua: The 100th Episode Spectacular! DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. IT'S THE ESCAPE FROM VAULT DISNEY 100TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!!! That's right, this objectively very stupid podcast where grown-ass adults whine about...2022-10-121h 55

Escape From Vault DisneyPirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black PearlIt continues to be PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! For our third week of Parks Month, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2003 to bless us with the one movie based on a theme park ride that won over critics and audiences alike, and made them say "Oh wow, I guess you CAN make a really really really good movie based on a theme park ride!" before that peculiar subgenre squandered everyone's goodwill all over again. Join Tony Goldmark, Sydney Agnew, Ayaka Matsuoka and Chris Nebergall as they get keelhauled by PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE...2022-03-231h 31

Escape From Vault DisneyRoger Rabbit shorts DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. This week we're bypassing the randomizer for another Guest's Choice episode, in which Kyle A. Carrozza "makes" us watch...2021-11-2459 min

Escape From Vault DisneyThe Parent Trap (1998) DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. This week the randomizer goes all the way back to 1998 to make us cover Nancy Meyers' inexplicably-beloved remake of...2021-11-101h 01

The Sentinel SpeakeasySeason 2, Episode 12: Special guest Tony AyresThe Sydney Sentinel's Peter Hackney and Travis de Jonk explore the week's top stories on sydneysentinel.com.au.SPECIAL GUEST THIS EPISODE is Tony Ayres - one of our nations most prolific and highly awarded writers, directors and producers. You’ll definitely have seen one of the many productions he has created over the past two decades including Walking On Water, the Slap, Nowhere Boys, The Family Law and Glitch. Most recently Ayres was commissioned to create the drama series Clickbait for Ne...2021-10-2633 min

Escape From Vault DisneyGo FigureThis week the randomizer chooses a Disney Channel Original Movie from 2005, that magical year when Disney saw fit to release not one but TWO different movies about teenage figure skaters, and apparently we got the one that wasn't good enough for theaters. Join Tony Goldmark, Sydney Agnew, Madeline Maye and Chris Nebergall as they shrug and say GO FIGURE! Check out my guests' stuff! SYDNEY AGNEW Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/thederpyhipster Twitter: https://twitter.com/thederpyhipster MADELINE MAYE Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/landbeforetimeland Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/inkblot-band Twitter: ht...2021-05-221h 06 $That\'s Life$ That's LifeMelbourne v SydneyThe internecine Melbourne-Sydney rivalry. How real? A Sydneysider once said ‘the last good thing to come out of Melbourne was the Hume highway.’ And when I lived in Sydney, a Melburnian’s best insult was: ‘ you, you… you Sydney hard mover’.2021-02-0434 min

Barely Friends'Tony Montana and Snapchat Blackmail'Strap on your headphones and enjoy the this weeks episode where things get wild! Jordy and Syd are joined by Vance Matthews who shares his experiences of dealing with a real life Tony Montana in the Hamptons. 2020-12-1854 min

Off The JobEpisode 3 w/ TikTok Star Sydney LintTalking to Tik Tok star Sydney Lint, continuing connections between first responders and civilians. Presented by Dark Arrow podcasts. 2020-12-0849 min

Metal From The InsideEpisode 20: Tony FranklinOn Episode 20 of the Metal From The Inside podcast, Sydney speaks with the fretless monster himself, Tony Franklin, a bass virtuoso who has played with bands such as The Firm, Blue Murder, Whitesnake, and many more. The pair speak about Tony's beginnings with traditional bass as well as the fretless bass, his recent cover of Deep Purple's 'Stormbringer' with Joel Hoekstra, Virgil Donati, and Dino Jelusick for Live Nation's Six String Salute, and the two even share their love for 'Led Zeppelin III' as Tony answers the Metal From The Inside Five! Sydney also keeps you up to date...2020-10-0251 min

The Wanderers of Western SydneyTony Bleasdale - The Wanderers of Western SydneyTim Gilbert sits down with Mayor of Blacktown City Tony Bleasdale to talk about his incredible life story. From migrating to Sydney from Liverpool in the United Kingdom, to his love for football and embracing every minute of life, Tony has a story you need to hear.2020-09-2927 min

The Virtual CouchThe Quarantine Kids Are Back! Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Life In Quarantine Featuring Tony’s Family!Tony welcomes his wife (that’s right, for the first time in 198 episodes Tony’s wife Wendy joins the podcast!) along with his oldest daughter Alexa, 22, and her husband Mitch, 23, his daughter Mackie, who has appeared two previous times on The Virtual Couch, along with nephew Connor to discuss life in quarantine, online schooling, and what the effects of a lack of schedule look like in the areas of sleep, food, and motivation. If any of you are feeling like you’re alone either as the person in quarantine or wondering if the way your family is acting is “normal”...2020-04-2150 min

KILL TONY – DEATHSQUADKILL TONY #409 (SYDNEY) Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban â€“ Date: 10/27/2019 DISCUSS THIS EPISODE VIDEO VERSION THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: ZIPRECRUITER.COM â€“ TRY IT FOR FREE AT ZIPRECRUITER.COM/KILLTONY 2019-11-0100 min

SOUL OF SYDNEY FEEL-GOOD FUNK RADIOSOUL OF SYDNEY 269: Drae Leighton at Soul Of Sydney feat. GANG OF BROTHERS - Mar 13 2016Drae Leighton live at Soul of Sydney LIVE special feat. GANG OF BROTHERS - Sun March 13 2016 ** Great party as always with the Soul Of Sydney crew. Absolutely killer dance floor for this set.. Vibes were high! Enjoy. Set List Bike Ryder - The Phobos Peepl Keep It Tight - The Haggis Horns Be In Here - Orgone Big City - Prince Put Me Thru - Anderson Paak Che Che Cole (feat. Mayra) - Antibalas Feel Right (feat. Mystikal) Last Kiss - Overdoz Love Will Bring Us Back Together (DJ Vas Rework) - Roy Ayers Crazy Afrobeat - Tony Allen Ain’t...2019-07-1038 min