Shows
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Honoring Black History Month--The Power of ResistanceResistance has been defined as "the refusal to accept and comply with something, the ability to withstand an adverse force, or an opposing action. The attempt to prevent something by action or argument." Resistance is a foundational pillar that fostered the ability and drive of people of color's contributions to a nation that denied their humanity. Despite the challenges and barriers, a spirit of hope, persistence, and resistance propelled dreams, inventions, and imaginations. This Black History month, let's pay tribute to the resistance movement for by it, we reclaim our beauty, strength, and humanity. Let's talk about it. www...
2026-02-0831 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Self Discovery Requires Faith Despite FearSelf-discovery not only takes time, intentionality, and stillness, but it also takes faith despite fear. Self-discovery can be an intimidating process because it often leads us into the unknown and that can be scary. Self-discovery shines a much needed light on areas of our lives that are tucked away and hidden possibly due to shame and discouragement. Although needed, it can induce fear and may cause us to avoid rather than exploring existential questions that may be revelatory and transformative. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2026-02-0135 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Questions to Living AuthenticallyLiving a life instead of solely maintaining an image entails authenticity. "Are you living life authentically"? I like this definition of authenticity, "being genuine, real, and true to oneself, aligning actions with core values and beliefs, rather than being a counterfeit or acting based on external pressure." Self awareness, reflection, introspection, and courage are essential ingredients to living life authentically. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2026-01-2533 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Purposeful Living Beyond The ImageRick Warren published a book entitled the Purpose Driven Life where he addresses that existential question of why am I here? You've probably asked yourself that same question and maybe you're still searching for the answer. Living a purposeful life is worth pursuing, however, what informs your definition of purpose? Does your definition of purpose simply entail impressing others and looking great in the eyes of others? Has your purpose been informed by society's views of success or someone else's expectations? Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2026-01-1834 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Exploring the What and Why of My LifeLiving a life not just maintaining an image requires intentionality, reflection, and exploring some existential questions about life. Two questions entail an acknowledgement that sometimes we live life on a stage where we're constantly trying to control and manage other's perceptions of us. At times we may contort ourselves to conform to an image that is acceptable to us and one that will be embraced by others. Have you asked yourself what image am I trying to maintain and why? Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2026-01-1134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Living a Life Beyond Just Maintaining an ImageWell it's 2026 and one thing you can most certainly say is that you made it over the threshold to witness the New Year. Now that you've entered, what now? What moves or goals do you desire to accomplish this year? May I offer a suggestion? Could this be the year that you make a decision to live a life not just maintain an image? Erving Goffman popularized the concept of impression management "also known as self-presentation and refers to the ways that people attempt to control how they are perceived by others." Let's talk about it! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2026-01-0435 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Year In Review--Reflection and RelaunchingThere's a time for everything and a season for everything under the sun. There's a time to plant, a time to uproot, and a time to tear down, and a time to build and finally a time to weep and a time to laugh. The end of year is often a time of reflection but some often avoid this practice because it may induce difficult emotions. However, for such a time as this, reflection maybe a process that helps you invest in a relaunch of your goals, your vision, and your dreams. Take some time to reflect, assess, and a...
2025-12-2834 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Holiday Blues--Navigating Grief and LossIt's the most wonderful time of the year is a very popular Christmas song but it only speaks to one aspect of Christmas. According to research, the holidays can also be one of the most stressful, loneliness, and depressing times of the year. Stress, depression, and grief are not great marketing strategies, so happiness, gatherings, and gifts are promoted as holiday commodities. There may be few emotional safe spaces for those who are experiencing emotional pain and grief, but just know you are not alone so please identify strategies to navigate those difficult emotions.
2025-12-2135 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Remembering You This SeasonIt's easy to be swept up in the hustle and bustle of the season as people prepare to give and receive gifts. Although we are aware of the commercialization of Christmas, it's still difficult to resist the temptation to spend more than we have, to stress and spend endless hours searching for the perfect gifts, getting the house ready for parties and gatherings, and making sure everyone's needs are met possibly fearing that we will disappoint them. However, what about you? That's not a selfish question, it is one that encompasses self love and self care. Please remember you...
2025-12-1433 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Preparing Your Mental Health Toolkit for Navigating the HolidaysAre you ready? Have you been preparing and stocking your mental health toolkit to navigate this holiday season? Navigating the holiday season can present a challenge because it can be a balancing act where you're experiencing and learning to manage big and difficult emotions. As you navigate this holiday season, I'm encouraging you to check your mental health toolkit. I ask you to consider the following: Context, safety, and compassion/grace for self and others. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-11-2433 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Reviving a Virtue of Kindness...My grandmother affectionately known as "Bigmama" would always say, "People don't have to be nice." This statement usually came as a result of someone enacting an act of kindness. Such a reflection may have been a result of both gratitude and rarity. Grateful someone showed kindness, and the perception that it is indeed rare for people to be kind. In times like these, is being a nice a rarity? Is being cruel, uncaring, and unkind fashionable? Let us examine ourselves and ponder which culture to which we are contributing; cruelty or kindness. Please let it be the latter. It...
2025-11-0935 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Navigating the Holiday Season Part 1Are you ready? Yes, it's about that time. The holiday season is fast approaching and although some may experience anticipation and excitement, others are dreading it for various reasons. Some are financially struggling this season and may not be able to do all they've done in the past which may induce some shame and even embarrassment. For others, this may be the first holiday season without that loved one whom they miss so much. Holidays are reminders and provide time for reflection which can evoke some difficult emotions. What's in your holiday mental health toolkit? www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-11-0234 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Challenges to Self and Community Care...When I speak to individuals about self-care, it is often equated with selfishness which has a negative connotation. When I speak of community care, showing up for others and allowing others to show up for you, there is often resistance im asking for help or leaning into the support. Why? We've been conditioned by a number of societal and cultural factors that challenge the notions of self-care and community care. If you struggle with implementing these two concepts in your life, what are your challenges? Are you ready to resolve them? In times like these, self-care and community care...
2025-10-2635 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Remember This: Context Matters!It is important to contextualize your life experiences. At times, our inner critic can beat us down with harsh judgments and words especially when we don't think we're operating at our best. The inner critic will remind us of how we used to perform and that presently, we're just missing the mark which can induce shame and self-loathing. However, the inner critic seldom takes into account our current context, where are we now and what's happening in our lives? Evaluating ourselves apart from context, renders an distorted assessment. Remember, context matters! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-10-2233 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: 3 Important Questions for Self AssessmentIn times like these, it is even more important to implement strategies to take care of your holistic self. However, in order to do so in times when you're stressed and overwhelmed it is helpful to implement a brief framework to assess how you're really functioning. I suggest consistently asking yourself 3 important questions: Is this helpful for me, Is this healthy for me, and is this worth my energy? These questions may help you navigate ways to stay connected and nurture your well-being when you're stressed and overwhelmed. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-09-2833 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Societal Well-being Matters!The final segment of the National Wellness Awareness Series includes awareness, attuning, and attending to our societal well-being. Societal well-being has been defined as, "The ability to actively participate in a thriving community, culture, and environment. It involves factors like the quality of relationships, community belonging, access to resources, and the overall sustainability of social systems, with policy and individual actions shaping its development and measurement." Societal well-being matters! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-09-2134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Workplace Wellbeing Is ImportantWhen thinking about our wellness, an area that is often neglected is our workplace well-being. We often just view our workplace as a mere job that represents a means to an end. However, we often spend more time with our co-workers and in our workplace than our families and in our home. As a result, it is important to assess your workplace well-being. Workplace well-being has been defined as, "the ability to pursue your interests, values, and life purpose in order to gain meaning, happiness, and enrichment professionally." www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-09-0733 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: National Wellness Month--Social Well-being Part 2August is National Awareness month which includes various types of well-being. Social well-being includes developing and maintaining meaningful relationships and social support. Due to past traumatic experiences, unhealthy and toxic relationships, and disappointments, cultivating this type of well-being can be most difficult. Although complex and difficult, it is a necessary aspect of tending to our wellness. Tune into Part 2 of taking care of our social-wellbeing. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2025-08-3135 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: National Wellness Awareness Month--Social Well-beingAugust is National Wellness Awareness month which includes aspects of taking care of our holistic health. Social well-being is an aspect of wellness and has been defined as "the ability to communicate, develop meaningful relationships with others, and maintain a support network that helps you overcome loneliness." The former surgeon general pronounced loneliness and isolation as an epidemic that "represent profound threats to our health and well-being." A passage states that it is not good for man to be alone and "though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."...
2025-08-2435 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: National Wellness Awareness Month--Physical Wellness MattersAugust is National Wellness Awareness month which includes tending to our holistic health. Physical wellness matters and has been defined as "The ability to improve the functioning of our body through healthy living and good exercise habits." Physical wellness entails more than just body image which is the sole focus by some individuals. Physical wellness focuses on the actual functioning of our bodies. Improving our physical wellness includes the following: Prioritization, Assessment, and Action. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2025-08-1734 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: National Awareness Month--Emotional WellnessAugust is National Awareness Month which in compasses many facets of wellness that include the following: Emotional, physical, social, workplace, and societal well-being. Emotional well-being has been defined as the "ability to practice stress management and relaxation techniques, be resilient, vulnerable, boost self-love, and generate the motions that lead to good feelings." Emotional wellness is essential to improving overall health. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-08-1034 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: National Wellness Awareness Month--Please Take Care of YourselfA passage states, beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in good health, even as your soul is prospers. August is National Wellness Awareness month with the purpose of identifying ways to prioritize our wellness which includes the following areas: emotional, social, physical, societal, and workplace. Why dedicate a month to remind us to take care of our wellbeing? Because "it's easy in our society to prioritize meeting the needs of a job or loved ones before tending to and meeting our own needs." www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-08-0335 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Oh to Be Comforted!There's a passage that states, "God is the Father of all comfort." This passage denotes that there's a need to be comforted. Comfort has been defined as "the easing or alleviation of a person's feeling of grief or distress." It seems pretty simple to accept the need to be comforted, but some struggle with this need because of the stigma of weakness and vulnerability. Some have been conditioned in the dysfunction that to be comforted denotes weakness which brings about shame. To be comforted is to be human. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-07-2733 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Encourage YourselfThere's a verse that states, "David was distressed...and He encouraged himself in the Lord." There are times in your life where you may also be distressed due to a number of transitions, issues, and relationship losses. The distress may be all too consuming and you're unsure of ways to navigate it. Please take time to draw from a well of encouragement so that you can encourage yourself in times like these as well as encourage others. Hold on, hang on, and stay encouraged. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-07-2035 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Turn On the Lights to Dispel the DarknessThere's a song entitled "Walk in the light". Light illuminates and provides clarity of vision in the midst of darkness. Darkness is symbolic of some hard and difficult times that may represent what many are experiencing in this season. Darkness can be all consuming, overwhelming, and possibly cultivate a spirit of hopelessness and helplessness. However, there's a dawn that pierces through the darkness which encourages us to turn on the lights. Turning on the light is an intentional act of inspiration and resistance. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2025-07-0635 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: How to Manage Energy Vampires Part 2There may be some individuals in your life that are energy vampires. Sometimes, these people are friends and families and it may be difficult navigating such relationships. There are several types of energy vampires and it will be beneficial to devise ways to effectively identify and manage these relationships. Managing these relationships are certainly a form of self-care and self-preservation. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-06-2936 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Cup Drainers--Types of Energy VampiresInstead of asking what's wrong with an individual, the question should be asked what happened to you. This is an appropriate question to ask of people in your life who may be energy vampires. According to Gupta, there are several ways energy vampires interact within relationships including as the constant victim and criticizer. These types of energy vampires may be stuck in loops where they can't move beyond victimizing and negative experiences which informs their identity and their behavior. This shows up in how they relate to others which can be draining and exhausting. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-06-0833 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Watch Out for Energy Vampires...As Mental Health Awareness month comes to a close, please remember that taking care of your mental health takes place 365 days a year. Awareness of Cup fillers and drainers are vital for maintaining your mental health. One cup drainer to recognize is energy vampires. "Energy vampires are people who sap your emotional energy either intentionally or unconsciously. They could be friends, family members, partners, colleagues, or neighbors who feed on your care and attention and can leave you feeling stressed, drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed." www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-06-0134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Strategies for Filling Your Cup--You Are Worthy...Filling your cup is not a luxury, it is truly a necessity. You are worthy to take 10 or 15 minutes from your schedule to nourish and take of yourself. You may have received messages that you're not worthy of such care, however, you are and you can make that decision to be intentional about your self-care. Please take some sacred pauses and discover ways to improve your health, preserve your peace, increase your care, and shower yourself with love and compassion. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-05-1832 minTalking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Strategies for Filling Your Cup--You Are Worthy...Filling your cup is not a luxury, it is truly a necessity. You are worthy to take 10 or 15 minutes from your schedule to nourish and take of yourself. You may have received messages that you're not worthy of such care, however, you are and you can make that decision to be intentional about your self-care. Please take some sacred pauses and discover ways to improve your health, preserve your peace, increase your care, and shower yourself with love and compassion. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-05-1832 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: A Reminder to Mothers--Fill Your Cup Part IIMother's Day is a significant reminder of all the work and love mother's have poured into their family, communities, and this nation. For some, today may bring about a range of emotions from happiness, gratefulness, sadness, grief, and even regret. However, you may navigate this day, please make sure you stay connected with your experience and give yourself a cup of grace. A wonderful way to do that is to ensure you identify what fills and drains your cup. www.talkingwithdrtoycom
2025-05-1133 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Filling Your Cup--"Drainers and Fillers"Many counselors speak to individuals about making sure they preserve their energy by encouraging them to fill their cup. Filling one's cup simply means ensuring that their heart, mind, and even soul is nurtured and nourished with things that bring energy and life. Life can either infuse or drain individuals energy and it is important to be aware and attentive of life's cup "fillers and drainers." www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-05-0435 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Strategies to Navigate Being OverwhelmedExperiencing a constant state of being overwhelmed can adversely affect thoughts, emotions, and physical wellbeing. Although we can't always control external stressors, there are some strategies we can use to more effectively manage how we respond. Investing time by implementing certain strategies may assist in stabilizing mood and decreasing stress which may increase quality and quantity of life. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-04-2834 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: I Need A Resurrection Experience In My LifeResurrection or Easter Sunday is one of the most powerful days of remembrance in Christianity. It acknowledges the horrific tragedy of a crucified savior that ultimately led to one of the most powerful comebacks in history. As some celebrate and remember that sacrifice, there's also a lesson of redemption and power applicable to one's daily life. Although there are some dark moments in life where hopelessness abounds, the story doesn't have to end there. There is a possibility of the darkness giving way to the light of day which is ripe for a resurrection to occur in your life. w...
2025-04-2034 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Help! I'm Overwhelmed!Many have experienced times when being overwhelmed was not only the emotional state of the day, but the week, and possibly months. In light of the current stressors, it is quite normal to be overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed indicates that "individuals' resources or resilience are not equal to the stressors they are experiencing". Signs of being overwhelmed may include low energy, feeling confused, forgetfulness, worry, negative thinking, headaches, stomachaches, and difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-04-1331 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy Navigating Emotional NumbnessEmotional numbness is a freeze response in that an individual's brain shuts down as a protective response to keep them safe when the nervous system is overloaded. Emotional numbness is helpful for awhile, but there may be consequences if it persists long-term. There are several ways to navigate emotional numbness such as mindfulness strategies, body awareness, and engaging the five senses. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-03-3135 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Navigating Survivor Mode--Emotional Numbness...Survivor mode has been described as "An informal term to describe when a person is affected by a prolonged stress response." It is a protective mechanism the body employs to protect you from danger (fight/flight/freeze/fawn). There are many characteristics of survival mode such as difficulty focusing, inability to rest, and emotional numbness. Emotional numbness "refers to a state of reduced or absent emotional responsiveness, where a person feels detached from their own emotions and the world around them." www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-03-1634 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy Filling Your Cup While AnchoringNow that you're anchoring it is time to take it up a level by finding ways to fill your cup. Many are searching for ways to find meaning in this current world where the unknown is very prevalent. One way to cultivate meaning is to take care of your inner world. What are you doing to settle and nurture your inner being? Dr. Bryant mentions taking sacred pauses and that may be the beginning of a journey of exploration of cultivating joy, peace, calmness, and play within your inner being. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-03-1034 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Practice of AnchoringAnchoring is a practice that assist with developing psychological flexibility and if there ever was a time to anchor, it surely is now. So many have expressed experiencing worry, anxiety, grief, and fear and do not know what to do to process and manage these emotions. There is not a cure all for what ills society, but there are somethings that may help in navigating some of the turbulence. One such practice is called the Anchoring Heart Technique. This technique includes 3 steps: "1. Anchor your hand(s) firmly and tenderly on your heart & breath deeply. 2. Feel what you are not...
2025-02-2333 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: In Times Like These We Need to AnchorAnchoring is a coping strategy to increase psychological flexibility. Anchoring entails a strategy known as ACE. Acknowledge thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, Come back to your body, and Engage in what you're doing. When we think about a ship that is tossed back and forth by the waves and the storms, sometimes, especially during times like these, our lives may resemble these battered ships. However, no matter how high the waves and fierce the storms, anchoring provides steadiness. Anchoring does not prevent or calm the storm, but it can hold you in place until the storm passes. www.talkingwithdrtoy...
2025-02-1635 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: I Am Because We Are...Ubuntu is an ancient African word that means I am because you are. It embraces the idea that humans cannot exist in isolation. It denotes acknowledging the humanity within ourselves and within others. Robb asks two powerful questions concerning this concept: "What if what you want to be will only come about when you ensure that others get to be that as well? And what if all of humanity was on your team, working toward your good?" I believe these questions capture the meaning and significance of celebrating Black History. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-02-1032 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Psychological Flexibility During Times of AdversityPsychological flexibility is beneficial during times of adversity because when things seem out of control, experiencing, monitoring, and managing our reactions may be challenging but not impossible. It's easy and normal to become overwhelmed in times like these so stay attuned to how your system is responding. Psychological flexibility entails being mindful and taking care of your well-being which includes but is not limited to accepting and managing difficult emotions, handling setbacks, and finding meaning and purpose in the midst of life's circumstances. Please take care of yourselves, you're the only you we have in this world. We need y...
2025-02-0235 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Let Not Your Heart Be Trouble...But It Is!Let not your heart be trouble maybe a difficult pill to swallow in times like these. Some have expressed experiencing fear and anxiety, while others have opted to avoid or even deny some of the realities taking place in their lives. The question becomes, how do we navigate and manage difficult times, so they do not manage or overwhelm us? According to Goldman, psychological flexibility entails three components: Being present, openness, and acceptance. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-01-2633 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Blessed Are The Flexible...Goldman defines psychological flexibility as "staying in the present moment and being open to experiencing whatever thoughts or feelings may arise, and then take action that is aligned with our values." There are many demands placed on individuals' lives and learning ways to navigate such situations can induce stress and anxiety. Psychological flexibility allows individuals to adapt and react to life's changes and transitions in healthy and helpful ways that enhances their well-being. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-01-1933 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Why Despise Small Beginnings?Happy New Year! Each New Year brings a sense of hope, expectation, dread, fear, and even anxiety. In our efforts to cope with these various emotions, we may create resolutions and intentions as an insurance policy for the upcoming year. We may construct grand intentions often neglecting and negating the small beginnings to obtain our goals. We may adopt the mentality that big is always better and small is insignificant. However, small beginnings can be just as important, valuable, and meaningful. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2025-01-0533 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: "The Personal Is Political""The personal is political." Where you live and how you live is informed by politics. We live in this world and have a responsibility to friends, families, neighbors, and our ancestors. We are not above politics because we're steeped in it. If you've tuned out, please tune back in and do your due diligence to learn about the issues and the candidates. Then take action to ensure that your vote becomes your voice. Then go one step further to ensure someone else takes that same action. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-11-0434 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Election Time--Have You Conducted a Mental Health Check-In Lately?Many may be feeling intense emotions regarding the 2024 election cycle and as a result, anxiety and worry maybe all too consuming. This presents an opportune time to re-emphasize my mini mental health check-in. The mini mental health check-in consists of four simple questions: How am I really doing, What am I experiencing, How am I experiencing it, and What do I need? These simple questions may provide beneficial insight into what's happening in your system and what is needed to assist in optimal functioning during this season. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-10-2735 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Strategies for Dealing With Trust IssuesIn a society where so much misinformation abounds, it's understandable why individuals experience trust issues. Sometimes trust issues may mean the difference between a healthy versus a toxic relationship. Addressing trust issues includes the following: Awareness, honesty, openness, and yes, vulnerability. There are some strategies to assist in this process If individuals are willing to work on and through their issues. Listen, these strategies do not include leaving ourselves open to be taken advantage of, it entails a balanced approach to improving our quality of connecting and living. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-10-0735 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Strategies for Dealing with Trust IssuesAlthough trust is considered an anchor of interpersonal relationships, many individuals may struggle with trust issues. There are many causes of trust issues and understanding them is the first step to working through them. Subsequent steps are also needed to work through them. According to one article, such strategies include understanding risks and taking emotional risks and comprehending the manifestation of trust issues in individuals' lives. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-09-2934 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Lets Talk About Trust Issues Part 2Trust issues have been defined as uncertainty of who to trust, how to trust, and when to trust. Individuals develop trust issues due to some of their past experiences and as a result, these issues may adversely affect present and future relationships. Trust issues serve as protective strategies to keep individuals safe so the objective is not solely to dismantle them but to understand and manage them. Anticipating and assuming betrayal, loneliness, avoiding commitment, and being constantly on guard are a few signs of trust issues. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-09-2335 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Trust IssuesTrust issues have been defined as uncertainty of who to trust, how to trust, and when to trust. Trust is a foundational attribute that can either strengthen or derail a relationship. Many individuals have experienced betrayal, manipulation, and abandonment and as a result, trust has been compromised or simply eroded. How can individuals navigate the landscape of understanding their trust issues and navigating ways to cultivate trust. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-09-1634 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: "Uninvited Brokenness"--Showing Our ScarsI was speaking with someone and the person said the following, "I don't want anyone to know what I'm going through because I'm embarrassed that I allowed it to happen and I don't want anyone to see my scars." Although we may not utter these exact words, I do believe some of us relate to this experience. We are ashamed of the formation of scars resulting from living in a fallen world filled with imperfect and wounded people. Instead of feeling whole, we feel broken and fragmented wondering how we will be put back together again. Many of us e...
2024-08-0533 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: BIPOC Mental Health Awareness MonthJuly has been designated as BIPOC Mental Health Awareness month. The pervasiveness of racism and many other "isms" adversely affect the mental health of this group. Research shows that intergenerational and historical trauma, racial oppression leads to specific mental health needs. However, due to barriers such as health inequities, socio-economic disparities, stigma, and lack of cultural competency by some providers, they often do not receive the assistance needed to address and effectively manage such mental health issues.
2024-07-2934 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: I'm Stuck and I Can't Get Out Part 2The causes of stagnation are pervasive and the consequences may last for a long period of time. Stagnation has such consequences as cognitive and physical decline, discontent, and a lack of quality interpersonal relationships. The cost of stagnation may far outweigh the discomfort induced by change and trying something new. There are also some strategies to may assist in decreasing stagnation. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-07-2236 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: I'm Stuck and I Can't Get Out!Stagnation has been defined as the "state of not flowing or moving, lack of activity, growth, and development as well as a situation in which something stays the same." Generativity vs. Stagnation is one of the stages in Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This particular stage is connected to finding meaning and purpose in life which may cultivate contentment and gratitude or dissatisfaction and hopelessness. Stagnation has several causes and consequences. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-07-1536 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Reversing the Avoidance Trap Part 3"Those things we do not deal with will deal with us" is a statement I repeat to individuals engaging in avoidance strategies. Avoidance strategies may bring temporary relief but they also hinder many from learning effective coping strategies. Gradual exposure is one strategy used to confront fearful situations by allowing individuals to start at the least anxiety provoking situation towards the goal of overcoming the feared situation. Empowerment is cultivated by effectively managing situations instead of avoiding them. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-07-0134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Avoidance Trap--Avoidance StrategiesAvoidance is a short-term coping strategy that induces a cycle of increasing anxiety symptoms rather than reducing them. It is normal to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and sensations, but there is a cost. As someone stated, "Short-term gain, but long-term loss." There are certain strategies that inform the avoidance trap such as distraction, denial, projection, and safety behaviors such as withdrawing from people, places, and situations. These tools work which is why they are widely used, but they also serve as a double edge sword for long-term healing and restoration. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-06-2437 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: God, The Relational FatherHappy Father's day to all those dads that are investing in the lives of their children and families. Today may be a day of joy and celebration for some as well as a day of sadness, anger, and grief for others. The God within Christianity is often referred to as Father and even Daddy "abba", however, this reference may also trigger a variety of emotions. Some may contrast and compare God with their earthly fathers, the good, the bad, and the ugly. God has many attributes and one to highlight is that He is relational. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-06-1736 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Understanding and Overcoming The Avoidance TrapAvoidance may be considered a main ingredient many individuals use when navigating some of life's difficult, uncomfortable, and painful moments. "It's normal to avoid or push away whatever feels intense or uncomfortable" (TherapistAid). Avoidance does offer some relief which is why many use it as a coping strategy. However, the relief is temporary and it often induces a string of events that may worsen depressive and anxiety symptoms. Let's talk about the Avoidance Trap. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-06-0933 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Cultivating a Growth Mindset Mental Health Awareness MonthA growth mindset has been defined as a belief that gifts, abilities, talents, and skills can be developed with work, practice, and perseverance. Individuals with a growth mindset view failures as opportunities instead of obstacles which can help them create and achieve goals as well as fulfillment. Psychologist, Carol Dweck, coined the term and determined that individuals with a growth mindset tend to be more motivated, determined, and resilient versus discouraged, despondent, and stagnant. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-05-2735 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Understanding the Deficit MindsetThe psychological meaning of a deficit mindset is a type of thinking that focuses on negative self talk. persistent comparison to external standards and a sense of inadequacy. Deficit thinking can also lead to a fixed mindset that cultivates an attitude and belief system of limitations, impossibilities, and that nothing will change no matter the amount of effort. The deficit mindset may inform how individuals view people, themselves, and situations which eventually may lead to a sense of apathy, stagnation, and missed opportunities. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-05-2036 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Living Authentically Me--Managing Imposter SyndromeThe past few series regarding imposter syndrome have addressed the what, the why, and the how. It is now time to begin the process of effectively managing imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the first step entails honesty which can be a major hurdle to overcome. Honesty is vulnerable but necessary because ignorance and avoidance will not move individuals toward a process of effectively addressing the symptoms. It's difficult to treat something that is not identified so acknowledging it can be very empowering. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-05-0537 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Living Authentically Me--Understanding Imposter SyndromeThere are many facets involved in seeking to understand the origins of imposter syndrome. Dr. Young states the makings of imposter syndrome may entail family origins and dynamics, personality traits such as neuroticism, low-self efficacy, perfectionism, transitions and new beginnings, and social anxiety. These aspects may inform some core beliefs and values individuals may hold about themselves which fuels imposter syndrome. Shame may also be one of the main culprits that keep individuals from exploring and managing imposter syndrome. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-04-2933 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Living Authentically Me--Imposter Syndrome Part 3According to Young, imposter syndrome may manifest in several ways such as agonizing over the smallest mistakes, self-doubt, constant self-criticism of one's own performance, and the constant fear of not living up to others or even one's own expectations. The weight and heaviness of this burden may induce symptoms of hypervigilance and a psychological toll on one's quality of life where life is reduced to living to work instead of working to live. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-04-2229 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Living Life Authentically Me--Imposter SyndromeImposter syndrome has been defined as the "psychological experience of feeling like a fake or phony" where individuals doubt their abilities, skill set, intellect, or creativity to achieve a certain level of success. "Approximately 70 percent of Americans experience these invasive and negative thoughts" which can induce symptoms of anxiety and even depression. Dr. Valerie Young identifies 5 types of imposter syndrome: Perfectionist, expert, natural genius, soloist, and super person. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-04-1535 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Living Authentically Me!Showing up authentically in places can be a daunting task especially while living in a culture that promotes comparisons, competition, and imitation. There's a message in the noise that conveys being oneself if not in alignment with society's, community's, and other's expectations; is unacceptable, a deficit, even a liability. Individuals may be encouraged to believe if they can't be everything to others; they are not anything to anyone. This induces wear and tear on individuals' psyche and self-perception. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-04-0834 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Power That Lies Within...Resurrection Day is one of the most significant observances within Christianity. One of the most profound anchors is the belief of a Risen Savior. A passage of scripture proclaims that the same resurrection power resides in believers, however at times, seasons of stagnation may seem like a drought. The droughts may last so long that eventually visions fade and dreams die. May this day be a reminder that those things that lie dormant are ripe for resurrections. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-04-0134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Celebrating Women's History Month--Centering Women's Voices & NarrativesMarch is designated as Women's history month and it is with great gratitude and appreciation that I honor the women who have imparted so many treasures in my life. I believe many individuals have encountered the power and presence of women's contributions within their lives. Centering the voices and stories of women can be life giving and sustaining. As a society, it is essential to create safe spaces where these stories are cultivated, valued, and disseminated. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-03-1734 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: I'm Not My Mental Health DiagnosisEven in 2024 with so much progress of discussing, explaining, and addressing mental health issues, stigma and lack of understanding remain especially among ethically and diverse populations. It is unfortunate that some populations more than others have the latitude and empathy to discuss and address mental health symptoms. Mental health diagnoses do not define individuals' identities but so many perceive their character is flawed and they are deficient which often induces embarrassment and shame. As a society, much work remains in eradicating this stigma so individuals are liberated to receive the assistance they deserve without feeling guilty or ashamed. www...
2024-03-1732 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Matters of the Heart--Heart Healthy RelationshipsMatters of the heart most certainly include relationships. Community care is an important aspect of self-care and according to relational cultural theory--humans are wired for connection. Socially supportive relationships are good for the heart and overall physical health. However, challenges persist in individuals' capacity and ability to cultivate and nurture healthy relationships due to a number of reasons. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2024-02-2631 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Matters of The Heart--Heart Health..February is Heart Health Awareness Month. Matters of the heart entail the important task of taking care of your heart. The prevalence and disproportionate rates of cardiovascular disease among people of color, particular African Americans presents a tale of health disparities and social determinants of health. Social factors such as money, resources, living environment, and social networks are huge factors in shaping people's health. In fact, "Social factors put Black, Hispanic, and Tribal communities at a disadvantage." Individual and systemic changes are warranted. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-02-1136 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Matters of the Heart--A Matter of Ethnic Identity Part 1Black History Month represents an acknowledgement and celebration of culture and ethnic pride. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, colorism threatens and fragments aspects of identity, self-esteem, personality, and personhood especially for children. Mamie and Kenneth Clark's Black and White doll study provides evidence of internalized racism, shame, and self degradation at the tender age range of 3-7. We must be intentional about positively affirming, truth telling, and cultivating ethnic beauty and pride in our vulnerable children to counter the damaging narrative of erasure. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2024-02-0434 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Brevity of Life--Live, Love, Laugh, and Authentically Connect...I received some unfortunate news regarding the recent death of a dear friend. It was unexpected and in my limited perspective, way too soon. Such deaths may bring one closer to their own mortality and existential questions loom regarding what is the meaning of life, does my life count or matter, and how am I showing up to others especially those whom I call friends? Although this is a new year, death continues to loom and we all must reckon with walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Life is indeed precious and if you haven't done...
2024-01-2933 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Sistahs Suffering in Silence--High Functioning DepressionMasking emotions such as sadness and hurt, the constant need to stay busy, the appearance of having it all together and being outwardly strong while inwardly struggling to hold it together may indicate some signs of high functioning depression. The subtleties of these symptoms only serve to intensify the motivation for Sistahs to suffer in silence and perpetuate a never ending stream of strength to avoid any appearance of weakness. What's the cost of concealment versus crying for help? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-01-2236 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Sistahs Need Help Too!I was speaking with a Black woman regarding depression and she stated that she felt weak because she was depressed. She stated that she often buries, avoids the feelings, or tells herself that "you don't have time for this and you should be able to get through this and keep it moving without feeling depressed." My questions, what are the origins of this internal dialogue and how in the world do women of color identify sources of healthy and culturally relevant affirmation and validation without attempting to receive that from their oppressors? It is systemic, intersectional, structural, and complex...
2024-01-1532 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: New Year--Bringing In New Choices...Happy New Year! A clean slate, a redo, a reset, and a new beginning are associated with a new year. Many were glad to be done with 2023 and are considering the unknowns of this new year. Although there may be little influence with the unknowns; opportunities await with making life giving and life sustaining choices. Self-care, community care, and self-awareness are concepts worth exploring and investing in this year. Remember, you are worth the investment which requires intentionality, time, and energy. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2024-01-0833 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Love is one of Humanity's Greatest Needs...Love and belonging are needs listed in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Love and a sense of belonginess provide a sense of anchoring and connectedness that humanity desperately desires but simultaneously fears. Opening up to love and admitting a desire to belong is vulnerable and scary due to past hurts. Some may deny the need to belong or try to avoid experiencing love but it doesn't mean the need goes away. That heart space just remains starved and malnourished. A passage states that God is Love and that is good news. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-12-3134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Intentionality of Value Led Living Part 3Core values are discovered which takes intentionality, reflection, and a nonjudgmental stance. Someone stated, "What you are doing equals to what you want in life." For some this statement holds some truth, for others it may create space for reflection because maybe what you're doing doesn't equal to what you truly want in life. Jeffery identifies several steps to discovering values which include: Discovery, activation, expression, prioritization, and self-care. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-12-1836 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Value Led Living--The Path to Discovery Part 2Value led living has been described as a means of being true to ourselves and a compass to making decisions that resonates with our beliefs. "Values aren't selected; they're discovered. We don't choose our values. Our values reveal themselves to us." Values may inform our actions but it doesn't always mean our actions represent our values. According to Jeffrey's, sometimes we violate our values when they remain unknown therefore creating an inner tension that may induce incongruent and unhealthy behaviors. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-12-1036 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Value-led Living Part 1Values have been defined as "an enduring belief upon which a person acts." Values have been described as "a compass that guides individuals toward their purpose whereby by connecting to and activating them daily induces nourishment, motivation, and fulfillment." How individuals invest their time may not be a true indicator of their authentic values so it begs the question. What are your values and are you living a value-led life? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-12-0434 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Trick or Treat Part 4: Perfectionism, Rejection, and InvalidationPerfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Invalidation induces invisibility as well as a sense of rejection. Validating other's emotions entails finding a kernel of truth in someone's emotions, perspectives, and experiences. Emotional validation is a core aspect of maintaining healthy relationships with others as well with self. Tune into the podcast for more information www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-11-2735 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Trick or Treat Part 3: Perfectionism, Rejection, and InvalidationPerfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Rejection sensitivity is literally painful in that "the brain responds to social pain in a way that is similar to the way that it responds to physical pain." Rejection sensitivity has been defined as "severe emotional sensitivity and emotional pain" induced by perceptions of rejection from others. The avoidance to experiencing rejection may severely impact individual's lives. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-11-1336 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Trick or Treat Part 2: Perfectionism, Rejection, and InvalidationPerfectionism, rejection, and invalidation may be the root causes of the emotional distress people experience. Perfectionism gives the illusion of control and remains the culprit of much stress and anxiety. Perfectionism is a vicious cycle that is supported by unrealistic expectations, an unhealthy view of rejection, and riddled with rigidity. Eventually, it chips away at individual's self esteem, view of self, and the consumption leads to missed moments of contentment in present day living. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-11-0633 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Trick or Treat: Perfectionism, Rejection, and InvalidationIn my therapeutic work, what often lies beneath much of the emotional distress is the trio of perfectionism, rejection, and invalidation. The treat of the trio is that they seem to yield short term benefits, but the trick is the long term cost. The intersection of this troubling trio can softly kill the quality and quantity of life for many. Perfectionism may be considered as an illusion but it remains a reality for many, rejection literally causes pain, and invalidation cultivates the sense of invisibility and worthlessness. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-10-3034 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Health Stigma...Health and vitality are celebrated and a certain level of athleticism is even idolized in society. The media promotes an enriched lifestyle entails youth, strength, power, and able-bodied individuals. In reality, ageism, illness, and health issues are less highlighted and even buried as if these aspects disrupt the fantasy perpetuated by the media. These notions of health often develop into stigmas internalized by others who don't fit the media's portrayal. Unfortunately, this internalization often leads to shame and isolation. Tune into the podcast www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-10-1629 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Domestic Violence Awareness MonthOctober has been designated as Domestic Awareness Month. Similar to some sentiments of Halloween some individuals are living lives that resemble horror stories and lack safety within their own homes. Unfortunately, there remains so much stigma, shame, and embarrassment regarding domestic violence, that some literally take this secret to the grave. Startling statistics are evident that domestic violence is a common occurrence for some within this society and this requires not only awareness but intervention. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-10-0935 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: The Necessity of Community CareCommunity has been defined as, "A group of people who share a story that is so important to them that it defines an aspect of who they are. Those people build the shared story archetypes (characters) of that community into their sense of themselves; they build the history of those communities into their own personal history; and they see the world through the lens of those shared stories (Centre for Public Impact)." I really like this definition because it entails how community is integral to individuals' narratives and identities. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-10-0233 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Awareness and Actualized PotentialDr. Parham mentioned three powerful questions posed by Frantz Fanon regarding self-awareness and self-actualization. Who Am I, Am I Who I Say I Am; Am I All I Ought to Be? Sometimes life can become a tailspin where the goal is simply to survive. Pausing to even think about such questions may seem like a luxury that no one can afford. However, what are the consequences for the lack of self awareness and how may that affect one's life trajectory. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-09-1833 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Self Care--A Process Not Just A PrescriptionHow are you and what have you done for self care this week? These are two questions I pose at the beginning of every podcast and to some it may signal checking off activities they've done to take care of their overall well-being. However, little time may be invested in really exploring aspects of the self and ways to connect with curious intentionality. Sometimes self-care may be defined as a prescription instead of a process of knowingness and connectedness with self. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-09-1134 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Cultivating Healthy Relationship Boundaries Part 3According to Leech, there are certain tale tale signs that indicate whether individuals are establishing healthy interpersonal boundaries. Sometimes these signs are evident and at times they are very subtle to the point where the unhealthy patterns are persistent and chronic. Individuals may seem trapped in such relationships due to their own underlying and unaddressed issues. Tune into the podcast to learn some poignant questions to ask yourself and to identify "emotional hooks" that may keep you stuck and trapped. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-07-3136 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: BIPOC Mental Health: "There's No Health Without Mental Health"Dawes & Holden (2017) assert, "There's no health without mental health." In order to raise awareness about the mental health issues affecting the BIPOC community, July has been observed as "National Minority Mental Health Awareness" month. Minoritized and marginalized individuals experience a number of challenges in addressing mental health issues such as: racism, discrimination, inadequate resources to access health care, well founded distrust of the medical system and cultural stigma. In lieu of such barriers, prioritization of our mental health is not a luxury we can't afford, it's a necessity. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-07-2333 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Why I Do I Keep Attracting Toxic People?Have you ever asked the question, why there seems to be a pattern of attracting the same toxic people in your life? We must remember we are flawed human beings and therefore we all have issues. However, does a pattern persist in your life where there's a struggle in attracting and maintaining healthy, not perfect, relationships? Sometimes, it may appear that life giving and mutually satisfying relationships allude you so the question is why? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-07-1734 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Healthy Boundaries Are Not the Enemy of Love and CareInterpersonal boundaries have been defined as a "rules or limits we set for ourselves within relationships." Boundaries are not the same as walls but can provide aspects of protection especially within toxic relationships. Some struggle with implementing boundaries for various reasons such as low self-esteem, insecurity, fear of conflict, or in some cases fear of abandonment or neglect, etc. Some assume boundaries are antithetical to care and love, but on the contrary, implementing boundaries demonstrates a level of care, wellbeing, and love for self and others. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-07-1032 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: A Cry for Liberation--Detox Your Mind!Detoxification is not only good for the body, but it is also good for the mind. Sometimes we just need a good mental health cleanse to rejuvenate our holistic selves. However, we must make space and time to conduct an assessment of the things or individuals in our lives that breed toxicity. Once identified, the time to take action is now and it must start with self and migrate towards others. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
2023-06-2633 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Father's Day--It's Complicated...Happy Father's day to all of those who have stood in the gap to be present for their families. This day similar to Mother's day can trigger a variety of emotions from happiness, gratitude, and thankfulness to resentment, bitterness, anger, grief, and sadness. My hope is that you make room for all of it because those emotions provide important messages to your being. Despite some of the biased gendered stereotypes regarding men and mental health, please take care of your holistic selves. Just like unresolved woundedness can infect relational dynamics, healing and well-being can also positively affect those same...
2023-06-1933 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Liberation From Emotional Abuse Part 2Unlike physical abuse, the wounds and scars from emotional abuse are often not visible to the naked eye, but internally the pain is just as real and debilitating. Relationships whether personal or professional are some primary sources where emotional abuse takes place. Emotional abuse such as gas lighting, manipulation, unrelenting criticizing, shame, and embarrassment can be very detrimental to individuals' self esteem, mental health, and perception of their own reality. Emotional abuse has been defined as a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors which can be very subtle. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-06-1234 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: A Cry for Freedom: The Weights We Bear!!"Let us lay aside or let go of every weight...that so easily entangles us and run with patience the race before us." At first glance we may think it is as simple as putting down the weights, however, the issue may be limited insight regarding the weights we bear. For example, you may be able to name people pleasing as the issue, but what about the core belief the lies beneath such as, "I'm unlovable or unworthy of love and care", therefore you utilize accomplishment as a shied for validation and acceptance. It may be time to identify...
2023-06-0533 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Mental Health Awareness--Protective FactorsMental health issues are a reality and nurturing and cultivating protective factors are very important in preventing and improving mental health issues/symptoms. Protective factors have been defined as something that prevents problems and influences that make it less likely for individuals to develop mental health issues. There are various types of protective factors such as: Biophysical, psychological, social, and spiritual. For more information tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-05-2934 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Mental Health Awareness--Risk FactorsMental health issues are a reality and awareness and attending to risk factors are very important in improving mental health. Risk factors have been defined as anything that creates problems and make it more likely for the development of mental health issues. There are various types of risk factors such as: Biophysical, psychological, social, and spiritual. For more information tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-05-2234 min
Talking With Dr ToyTalking With Dr. Toy: Mother's Day--It's Complicated...I Love My Mom and I'm Hurt by Her Wounding WaysSo many emotions, thoughts, and memories emerge when acknowledging particulate dates on the calendar. Mother's Day represents one of those days whether it be joy, love, admiration, inspiration, grief, disappointment, hurt, rejection, betrayal, hate, unadulterated heartache and pain. Hallmark may provide some beautiful expressions but somehow, it doesn't quite capture the complexity of this day that many experience. Motherhood and relational dynamics are complicated and it's okay to acknowledge the good, the bad, and the ugly. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.
2023-05-1436 min