Shows
Built to GrowLeading Yourself Before Leading OthersBefore anyone gives you a title or a team, people are already watching how you lead yourself—how you handle stress, keep your word, and respond when things go wrong. In this episode of Built to Grow, Valdet breaks down what self‑leadership actually looks like day‑to‑day so you can become the kind of person others naturally trust to lead.Across three practical pillars—self‑feedback, decision hygiene, and repair after mistakes—you’ll learn how to tell yourself the truth without crushing your confidence, make clearer decisions (and communicate them better), and handle dropped b...
2026-02-2520 minBuilt to GrowWhat You Need to Know about Immigration and ICEThe immigration system is more than just policies—it's a web of human rights violations, private profits, and systemic abuses you're unlikely to know about. In this eye-opening episode, Carlos Alberto Yañez Navarro, a PhD candidate and human rights advocate, exposes how detention centers are operated by private corporations driven by profit, often holding individuals in inhumane conditions with little accountability. Discover how for-profit prisons, legal contradictions, and executive overreach fuel mass detentions, deportations to dangerous third countries, and even international crimes like torture and genocide.You'll learn about the expanding reach of immigration enf...
2026-02-191h 27Built to GrowTrauma, Memory, and Believing Epstein SurvivorsWhat happens to memory when your brain is in survival mode? And what does that mean for how we listen to survivors of abuse — including the victims of the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking ring?Key takeaways:Why trauma disrupts memory and makes recall fragmented, delayed, or out of order.How cultural myths about “perfect memory” fuel doubt toward Epstein survivors and other victims of abuse.Concrete shifts you can make to respond in a more survivor‑centered, trauma‑informed way — in your conversations, online, and in your own community.In this trauma‑informed episode of Built to Grow...
2026-02-0622 minBuilt to GrowIs MAGA a Cult? Inside the Psychology of the MovementIs MAGA just another political brand—or something closer to a cult?In this solo episode of Built to Grow, we unpack the MAGA movement through classic cult dynamics: the charismatic leader at the center, the us‑vs‑them story, the alternative media universe, loyalty tests, moral inversion, and the sense of belonging that keeps people locked in. We keep nuance front and center: not every Trump voter is in a cult, but the core of the movement operates with strikingly cult‑like patterns.You’ll learn how these dynamics pull in people who feel angry, lef...
2026-01-2723 minBuilt to GrowThe Evil President? What Trump Teaches Us About the Dark TriadWhen the people at the top seem larger than life, it’s easy to mistake charisma for character. In this episode of Built to Grow, we use the dark triad of personality—narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy—as a lens to understand Donald Trump’s public leadership style and what it reveals about power, followers, and fragile institutions.Drawing on psychological research and public commentary (not clinical diagnosis), we break down how traits like grandiosity, manipulation, and callousness can help a leader rise to power while quietly corroding trust, norms, and shared reality underneath. We also look at the syst...
2026-01-2028 minBuilt to GrowWhy Smart People Go Left — And How Authoritarianism Hooks EveryoneSmart, educated people really do tend to lean left on a lot of issues—but the story behind that pattern is way more interesting than "one side is smarter." In this episode of Built to Grow, Valdet digs into what the research actually says about intelligence, education, and political beliefs, and why different kinds of minds get pulled toward different worldviews.You’ll learn how core personality traits—things like openness, need for order, and sensitivity to threat—quietly nudge people toward more liberal or conservative positions, and how both sides can drift into their ow...
2026-01-1522 minBuilt to GrowKnow Your Rights During ICE Raids (Undocumented & U.S. Citizens)If ICE shows up at your door, your job, or on the street, what are your rights — and how do you actually use them without making things worse?In this episode, we walk through what undocumented immigrants and U.S. citizens need to know before, during, and after an ICE raid so you can stay calmer, protect yourself, and have a plan for your family.This is not individualized legal advice. Immigration law changes often and every case is different. Always speak with a qualified immigration lawyer or trusted lega...
2026-01-1213 minBuilt to GrowThe Psychology of Radicalization: How Ordinary People Get Pulled to ExtremesRadicalization doesn’t start with hate — it starts with pain.In this episode of Built to Grow, Valdet Selimaj breaks down the psychology of radicalization and how ordinary people get pulled toward extreme beliefs without realizing it’s happening. This isn’t a political episode. It’s a human one.We explore why intelligence doesn’t protect us, how unmet needs like belonging and certainty are weaponized, how algorithms accelerate extremism, and why shame only pushes people deeper into rigid thinking.If you’ve ever wondered how people you once knew became unrecognizable — or how any of us...
2026-01-1216 minBuilt to GrowLet’s Talk About Gossip: Why Not All Workplace Gossip Is BadIn this episode, Valdet challenges the common belief that all workplace gossip is toxic. Drawing from research and real-world consulting experience, he breaks down the difference between harmful gossip and positive information sharing—and explains how the latter can strengthen relationships, reduce turnover, improve mental health, and create natural accountability on teams.You’ll learn:Why positive gossip acts as “social glue” in organizationsHow informal conversations reduce burnout and turnoverThe clear line between healthy and harmful gossipWhat leaders can do to shape a healthier communication cultureThis...
2025-12-2307 minBuilt to GrowYour Human Rights at Work: What You Need to KnowWhen you clock in each day, you don’t stop being human — but too many workplaces act like you do.In this episode of Built to Grow, host Valdet Selimaj breaks down the human rights every employee is entitled to at work — and why understanding them is essential for protecting your dignity, safety, and wellbeing.We explore what workplace human rights actually look like in real life, including:Freedom from discrimination and harassmentFair and equitable compensationPsychological and physical safetyPrivacy in the digital workplaceFreedom...
2025-12-1612 minBuilt to GrowManaging Up: How to Advocate for Yourself Without ApologizingManaging up isn’t manipulation — it’s leadership.In this episode, Valdet Selimaj breaks down practical strategies to communicate effectively with your manager, advocate for what you need, set boundaries, build trust, and step into your influence from any seat in the organization.If you want to grow, advance, and stop playing small at work, this episode is your roadmap.Read the full article on DevCore Consulting:https://devcoreconsulting.com/managing-up-strategies-for-employees-to-advocate-for-themselves/#Leadership #ManagingUp #EmployeeExperience #CareerDevelopment #ProfessionalGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #BuiltToGrow
2025-12-0817 minBuilt to GrowWorkplace Bullying: How to Spot It, Stop It, and Protect Yourself at WorkBullying doesn’t end after high school—it just gets quieter, more strategic, and far more damaging. In today’s Built to Grow episode, we break down what workplace bullying really looks like, how it harms people and organizations, and what to do if you’re being targeted or witnessing it happen.If you’ve ever felt intimidated, isolated, humiliated, or retaliated against at work… this episode is for you.🔥 Take the Next Step: Learn How to Protect Yourself at WorkIf you're dealing with bullying—or want to prevent it—my Workplace Bullying course gives you the exact tools, scripts, documentat...
2025-12-0319 minBuilt to GrowCult or Culture: How Organizations Shape Behavior, Loyalty, and LeadershipIs your workplace building a culture…or conditioning a cult?In this episode of Built to Grow, we break down the fine line between healthy organizational culture and the subtle, sometimes dangerous ways culture can be weaponized. You’ll learn:What organizational culture really isWhy culture exists (and who it actually benefits)How culture becomes a tool of pressure, control, or manipulationWhat leaders unintentionally do that pushes culture into cult territoryHow culture shapes followership, loyalty, morale, and true leadershipAnd how to desi...
2025-12-0222 minBuilt to GrowReframing Failure as FeedbackIn this episode of Built to Grow, Valdet Selimaj breaks down how to shift from a fear-based view of failure to a growth-centered mindset. Instead of seeing mistakes as proof you’re not good enough, you’ll learn how to use them as feedback, data, and direction.You’ll discover:• Why we’re conditioned to fear failure• How your identity shapes your response to setbacks• Real examples of turning failure into momentum• A simple framework for interpreting failure as feedback• How leaders can build cultures where mistakes fuel innovationIf you’re feeling stuck...
2025-11-2709 minBuilt to GrowThe Power of Micro-HabitsWhat if the biggest changes in your life aren’t created by massive, dramatic overhauls—but by the tiny decisions you make every day? In this episode of Built To Grow, Valdet Selimaj breaks down why micro-habits are the most effective way to create sustainable personal and professional growth.You’ll discover:How small, consistent actions compound over timeWhy micro-habits are easier to maintain than big changesHow tiny behaviors shape your identitySimple micro-habits you can start todayHow consistency builds confidence, momentum, and long-term success
2025-11-2610 minBuilt to GrowWhy Spiritual Well Being is the Key to SuccessWhat if the real driver of performance isn’t productivity hacks or perks—but purpose?In this episode, Valdet Selimaj explores the often-overlooked dimension of personal and professional success: spiritual well-being. Discover why meaning, authenticity, and connection matter more than ever—and how cultivating a sense of purpose can help people feel inspired, grounded, and aligned with something bigger than themselves.Learn how spiritual well-being impacts mental health, resilience, and long-term fulfillment.💡 In this episode:What “spiritual well-being” really meansHow purpose drives engagement in lif...
2025-11-1215 minBuilt to GrowGot Laid Off? How to Rebuild Your Life with Ikigai | Find Purpose After Job LossMillions of people are facing layoffs right now — but losing your job doesn’t have to mean losing your direction.In this episode of Built to Grow, host Valdet Selimaj shares how you can use the Japanese concept of Ikigai — your “reason for being” — to rediscover your purpose, realign your career, and rebuild stronger than before.You’ll learn:💡 What Ikigai really means — and why it’s more relevant than ever🔥 How to find clarity after job loss instead of spiraling into self-doubt🌱 4 questions to uncover what truly motivates you🚀 How to design your next cha...
2025-11-0613 minBuilt to GrowWhy Your Team Is Not a Family (And Shouldn’t Be)There’s no “I” in team. True. But there’s also no “family” in team—and that’s an even better thing.In this episode of Built to Grow, Valdet Selimaj unpacks why labeling teams as “family” backfires, leading to blurred boundaries, burnout, and fake culture. Instead, you’ll learn what actually makes a team thrive: trust, accountability, and results.If you’re a leader or part of a team, this episode will challenge the “feel good” myths and give you clarity on what healthy, high-performing teams really need.
2025-09-2419 minBuilt to GrowDoxxing: What Every Professional Needs to KnowIn this powerful episode of Built to Grow, host Valdet Selimaj—coach, consultant, facilitator, and founder of DevCore Consulting—dives into the growing threat of doxxing in today’s digital and political climate.We begin with the story of Kim, a content creator who lost her job after expressing her opinion about Charlie Kirk. Her experience is not isolated—many Americans are facing real-world consequences for sharing their views online.🔍 What you’ll learn in this episode:1. What doxxing is and how it works2. Why people doxx—and who’s doing it3. The risks and leg...
2025-09-2220 minBuilt to GrowUnlocking Growth: The Power of Self-Awareness in Life and WorkWhat if there are parts of yourself you’ve never truly seen? The Johari Window is a simple but powerful framework that reveals four sides of who you are—the open, the blind, the hidden, and the unknown.In this first episode of Built to Grow, Valdet Selimaj breaks down the Johari Window in a way that’s clear, practical, and approachable. You’ll learn how self-awareness isn’t just about looking inward—it’s about inviting others to help you see what you can’t see alone.Here’s why this matters:
2025-09-1016 min
Gay Glow UpThe Rise and Fall of DEI - Why The Backlash ExistsIn this episode, we take a deep dive into the complexities of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) and explore why it often faces backlash in corporate spaces. As a DEI facilitator and advocate, I share my firsthand experiences navigating these conversations and discuss why the current approach can feel divisive—often framing dominant groups as oppressors rather than partners in change.
We unpack the ways privilege is weaponized, the challenges of making people "uncomfortable" to learn, and why DEI should foster collaboration instead of an "us vs. them" mentality. Plus, we examine key workplace trends, from diversity hires to th...
2025-02-0329 minGay Glow UpThe "Evil" Office – A Look into Donald TrumpLet's dive into the darker side of leadership and explore the traits that can both elevate and devastate those in power. From the celebrated Big Five personality traits to the more malevolent personality traits known as the "Dark Triad" we will uncover how these traits shape leaders and impact organizations. Using examples like Donald Trump, we examine the allure and risks of leaders who embody these traits. Tune in to learn how to recognize these patterns and make more informed decisions about leadership and influence.
#Leadership #PersonalGrowth #DarkTriad #PersonalityTraits #Narcissism #Machiavellianism #Psychopathy #BigFive #LeadershipDevelopment #DonaldTrump #LGBTQ
2025-02-0122 minGay Glow UpMind, Body, Spirit: Spirituality for Gay MenIn this episode, we dive into the transformative power of spirituality and why it's especially vital for gay men navigating unique challenges. Discover how spiritual practices can foster self-acceptance, build resilience, and create a deeper sense of connection with yourself and your community.
We'll explore:
Why spirituality is an essential tool for personal growth and healing.
Practical ways to cultivate your own spiritual practice, from mindfulness to journaling.
The profound psychological benefits of spirituality, including reduced stress, enhanced clarity, and increased self-compassion.
How spirituality strengthens community bonds and provides solace during tough times.
Whether you're...
2025-01-2229 minGay Glow UpProtecting Your Peace: Mental Health Strategies for Gay Men in Political TurmoilNavigating the political landscape can be especially challenging when your rights and identity are under attack. In this episode, we dive into actionable strategies for gay men to protect their mental health and maintain peace during turbulent times.
Discover how to set boundaries with the news, embrace self-care practices, and build a support system that uplifts and empowers you. We’ll also discuss ways to channel frustration into meaningful advocacy and focus on hope and resilience when it feels like the world is against you.
Whether you're seeking calm amid the chaos or looking for ways to thrive and co...
2025-01-1539 minGay Glow UpGay Men & Love: A Guide to Happier RelationshipsLove can be confusing, but understanding it doesn’t have to be. In this episode, we explore Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love—a powerful framework that breaks love into three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Together, we’ll discuss the seven types of love, reflect on their relevance for gay men, and provide actionable steps to create balanced and fulfilling relationships. Whether you’re navigating a new romance, strengthening a long-term partnership, or seeking personal growth, this episode offers insights you can apply today.#LoveDecoded #SternbergTheory #HealthyRelationships #LGBTQLove #PersonalGrowth #GayMenRelationships #Intimacy #Passion #Commitment #RelationshipGoals #LoveJourney #QueerWellness #AuthenticConnection
2024-12-1929 minGay Glow UpMastering Relationship Management for Growth and HappinessIn this episode, I dive into the complexities of relationships—what makes them thrive and what can cause them to fail. Sharing a personal story about the end of a friendship, I explore how emotional intelligence and relationship management play a crucial role in our well-being and happiness.
We’ll discuss:
The impact of positive vs. negative relationships on our mental, emotional, and physical health.
Why emotional intelligence is the foundation for healthy relationships.
Practical tips for building trust, resolving conflicts, and fostering meaningful connections.
Whether you're navigating challenges with friends, family, or within your comm...
2024-12-1231 minGay Glow UpHow to Really Read the Room: The Secret to Better RelationshipsIn this episode of Gay Glow Up, we’re diving into one of the most transformative skills for personal growth and relationships: social awareness. What does it really mean to "read the room"? How can understanding others’ emotions and perspectives help us navigate life more effectively—especially as gay men?
I’ll explore the connection between self-awareness and social awareness, share practical strategies to build this vital emotional intelligence skill, and discuss why it’s crucial for mental health, connection, and advocacy. Plus, I’ll break down a relatable example of what happens when social awareness is missing—and how...
2024-12-0732 minGay Glow UpHow to Manage Your Emotions and Live AuthenticallyWe’ve all heard the phrase “knowing is half the battle,” but what if that’s not true? In this episode of Gay Glow Up, we discuss how awareness alone isn’t enough to create real change and how that impacts our emotional intelligence.
Building on last week’s discussion of self-awareness, we explore the next step in emotional intelligence: self-management. Learn how to stop reacting impulsively to life’s challenges and start responding intentionally. We’ll break down the Path to Action—how your thoughts shape your emotions and behavior—and share practical tips to rewrite the stories you tell yourself.
R...
2024-11-2820 minGay Glow UpUnmasking Your Emotions: A Journey to Self-AwarenessIn this episode, we dive deep into self-awareness, the first step to emotional intelligence. We explore the difference between emotions and feelings, and learn how to identify them with more nuance using emotional granularity. You'll also discover how to recognize your triggers and glimmers, and learn practical tips to increase your self-awareness. Join me as we embark on this journey of emotional discovery! Are you ready for your glow up? Schedule a free coaching consultation today! https://www.valdetselimaj.com/coaching-services/
2024-11-2124 minGay Glow UpEmotional Intelligence: The Secret Weapon for Gay Men to ThriveThis episode of Gay Glow Up dives headfirst into the world of emotional intelligence (EQ), the key to unlocking better relationships, a thriving career, and overall well-being. Discover how emotional intelligence can transform your relationships, work life, and mental health. Learn why emotional intelligence is especially important for gay men navigating social challenges and "minority stress." From navigating Grindr to navigating social cues, EQ helps you navigate the complexities of the gay world. Feeling curious? Tune in to this episode and unlock the power of emotional intelligence to become your best, most empowered self. #emotionalintelligence#EQ#personalgrowth#selfawareness#selfimprovement...
2024-11-1718 minGay Glow UpWelcome to Gay Glow Up!Gay Glow Up is more than just a podcast; it's a movement. Valdet's mission is to provide a safe and supportive space for gay men to explore their potential and overcome adversity. By sharing his own experiences and insights, he empowers listeners to embrace their true selves and build a brighter future.
2024-11-0627 min
The Mindful ChaosDo You Need More Friends or Better Friends?As we get older, the number of friends we have seem to dwindle down...is it because we need more friends or simply because we seek quality over quantity in adult friendships? In this episode, Claudia and David share their thoughts on whether they need more friends or better friends, what the friendship paradox is, how to sustain a friendship when everyone's busy and living their own lives and finally, if friends are good for the mental health.Some articles and research shared in the episode:"Interpersonal chemistry through negativity" https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/d...
2024-03-1832 min
Gay Glow UpGet to know ValdetMy first episode is an introduction to me, my background, and my purpose mission. You can learn more about me at my blog: coachvaldet.com
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