Shows
Boob Tube BoysThe BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2025 Part 2The BTBs wrap up their 2024 (but in 2025) Creepy Pasta adventure with three more stories written by the fellas themselves. There's no prompt this week so who knows what these stories could be about?!First Spencer takes a crack at Brian's mystery thriller Saddled with Suspicion, which features not only the debut of a beloved fake gumshoe from a recently covered Boob Tube Boys episod,e but also the return of one of the show's greatest villains (Kevin Sorbo). Will they solve the theft of Big Moses the horse? Only God above knows...Van then orates Spencer's h...
2025-02-141h 14Boob Tube BoysThe BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2025 Part 1Sure Halloween has come and gone but that doesn't mean January isn't also a frightening time of year! So in honor of the terror of a brand new year the BTBs have once again written their own Creepy Pasta stories and will be reading them to one another. And on this episode there's a writing prompt so all three stories share a theme! That theme? DoppelgängersFirst up, Van reads A Familiar Face, which was written by Brian and features the boys themselves trying to solve the myster of just why Van keeps talking about really horrible t...
2025-01-311h 11Boob Tube BoysEp 157 | SeaQuest DSV: "The Regulator"It's the faraway year of 2018 and man has colonized every place on Earth... except for the sea! This means the BTBs head into the damp, deep, fish home that is the Ocean where they encounter the crew of the legendary Deep Sea Vehicle the Seaquest. But as Captian Nathan Bridger discovers not all is well on the massive submarine as everyone's old enemy bureaucracy has raised its ugly head causing a backlog on a very important control chipThe crew turns to less savory ways of procuring the piece and suddenly the SeaQuest and her resident talking dolphin (y...
2024-09-051h 41Boob Tube BoysEp 154 | Taxi: "The Great Race"The Tubers hop back into Taxi once more to round out their coverage of one of network TV's saddest and dirtiest sitcoms. This week, Alex and Louie engage in a cab battle for the ages, one that threatens to shred the fabric of life itself (for Elaine, at least)Brian quizzes Spencer and Van about their knowledge of taxi-based entertainments in between bouts of admiring Danny DeVito. Van provides some less-than-thrilling examples of comedian Jan Murray's work. Spencer brings the BTBs much closer to the present day with his new show pick. It's an episode so good you...
2024-07-2659 min
Boob Tube BoysBonus: Real or Fake Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles VillainsOops!Van lost a hard drive and many hours worth of work this week so Miami Connection: Part 2 is not ready for release! But to make up for it, we're putting our Patreon bonus video involving the TMNTs up for free on our regular channel!In this episode Van quizzes Brian and Spencer on various villains from throughout the nearly 40 year run of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, asking them if the villain presented is a real TMNT character or something Van made up. You can even play along! For example, is The Axe-olotl a real...
2024-06-2331 minBoob Tube BoysEp 145 | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Leatherhead: Terror of the Swamp"It's a monumental moment in the history of the Boob Tube Boys as the one and only Leatherhead, the gator who knows a good jambalya when he sees it, makes an actual appearance on the show the boys are covering. That's right it's not just Van or Brian bringing him up for no reason, he's actually here!That's all because Van has selected the animated 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, one of the few shows that captivated all three tubers as children. These are the pizza slingin', sass having, turtle teens that catapulted the franchise into the stratosphere...
2024-05-101h 18Boob Tube BoysEp 130 | The Jetsons: "Millionaire Astro"The BTBs are relieved to be near the end of their Hanna Barbera run, but they still have plenty more to say about The Jetsons. This week, a lawyer turns up at the Jetson home asserting that Astro (the family dog) has a secret past under a much cooler nameBrian, Spencer, and Van discuss what The Jetsons believes court systems will be like in the 2060s, why Astro is among the least appealing cartoon animals in history, and the dangers of conveyor belts. Later on, the guys talk about the most popular TV of 2023 and Van outlines...
2024-01-1152 minBoob Tube BoysThe BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2023 Part 2We're back for our second part to this year's Creepy Pasta episodes with stories written and performed by the Boob Tube Boys!There's no prompt this time around so expect chaos and mayhem as Van, Brian, and Spencer present their stories. First up is Brian's horror story "The Paleontologist 2: No Bones About It: Part 1" being read by Van. In this tale of intrigue several horribly vapid young people head to a rural city where stories of a terrifying figure who kills people with his monkey echo throughout the land...Brian next reads Spencer's tale "The New...
2023-11-011h 16Boob Tube BoysThe BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2023 Part 1It's spooky season yet again and that means yet another of the BTBs annual tradition of writing and reading their very own Creepy Pastas! This time around Spencer decided he wanted to give a writing prompt that each of the boys would then use to craft their story. The prompt? A father and son hunting tripFor your ear-pleasure you'll get to hear Van's tale "Hunting the Hunter," featuring a mysterious beast as well as several hard to pronounce names that Brian does his best to blurt out. There's also "The Hunt for Meaning," in which Spencer narrates...
2023-10-301h 25
My Worst AuditionMy Worst Audition, Episode 2 with Matt Van OrdenActor/writer/producer Matt Van Orden (Law & Order SVU, The Affair, The Listener) shares the cringey and stupidly funny story of his first major Broadway musical audition at New York's premier Broadway casting company (6:40). Book? What book? This story ends with the casting director kindly taking the time to give Matt some valuable audition advice. Gary also shares the audition lesson that a very prominent and kind casting director took the time to teach him when he made a mistake early on (14:28). Matt and Gary also chat hair loss (2:10) and Gary learns that he was supposed to be using...
2023-08-2829 min
Boob Tube BoysEp 102 | Champagne and Bullets: Part 1For the next 6 glorious weeks the Boob Tube Boys that you know and love have been destroyed and are being replaced with their adult counterparts- The Motion Picture Men. Sure it's still Van, Brian, and Spencer, but they are big now!The reason for the change is the guys are trying their hands at reviewing movies instead of television shows, and this time around Van has chosen to dive deep and pick out one of the greatest bad movies that has ever existed: Champagne and Bullets. Which is also sometimes called Road to Revenge. Which is also sometimes...
2023-05-042h 02
Poetry For AllEpisode 60: Li-Young Lee, From BlossomsIn this episode, we explore the poetry of joy in a world of shade and death, looking to sounds and repetitions while examining how "From Blossoms" speaks back to the poem that immediately precedes it in Lee's great book Rose.
For more on Li-Young Lee, see The Poetry Foundation here.
Thanks to BOA Editions for granting us permission to read Li-Young Lee's work on our podcast. "From Blossoms" and "The Weight of Sweetness" originally appeared in Rose (BOA Editions, 1986).
2023-05-0219 minBoob Tube BoysEp 101 | Everybody Loves Raymond: "The Model"Look: we all know Brad Garrett can get it. It took eight seasons for the team at Everybody Loves Raymond to figure this out and make an episode where Big Brad aspires to become a model, but better late than never. This episode is much lighter than the last, giving Brian, Spencer, and Van time to discuss oversized clothing, another ugly kitchen, and the Barone Brothers' buried artistic aspirations. Brian leads Barone family therapy, while Van returns to YouTube in search of insight. Plus, stay tuned for a fun announcement!
2023-04-261h 23Boob Tube BoysEp 100 | According to Jim/100th Episode Spectacular: Part 1For the 100th episode of the Boob Tube Boys Van, Brian, and Spencer spared no expense and pulled out all the stops. The guys decided only an elite, top-tier, masterpiece of television was deserved for such a monumental occasion, so they guys turned to a show that has only been dreamed about thus far: According to JimThe guys take turns hosting part of the AtJ (that's shorthand for According to Jim... all the Jim-heads know this) episode "Kentucky Fried Beltzmann," which also happens to be the 100th AtJ episode! The features Jim doing manly man things like...
2023-04-121h 34Boob Tube BoysEp 99 | Everybody Loves Raymond: "Frank's Tribute"We're told Everybody Loves Raymond, but do the Boob Tube Boys? This week begins the group's coverage of standup comedian Ray Romano's decade-long sitcom. Van can't hide his love for fellow tall man Brad Garrett, while Spencer finds one character entirely irredeemable. Discussion topics include nude old men from Seinfeld, an ugly kitchen, and the cold doom of a dead marriage. You know, fun stuff! Later, Van tackles the Everybody Loves Raymond YouTube comments, a cryptic announcement is made, and Brian submits a more appropriate Raymond theme song
2023-04-061h 24Boob Tube BoysSimpsons Week: "A Milhouse Divided"We're over halfway through Simpsons Week and there's one burning question on our minds... can I borrow a feeling? How about a jar of love?Luann Van Houten answers this question and more as the BTBs tackle Van's episode of choice! This episode is still considered in the golden years of the show and the guys discuss whether they agree with that or not. There's pictionary, weird 90s references, animated frozen hotdogs, and of course the dissolution of marriage! So check your dignity at the door and don't forget to stick around for Brian's rendition of Kirk's hit...
2022-11-2534 minBoob Tube BoysSimpsons Week: "The Introductions'"It's now an annual tradition where the BTBs take the week of American Thanksgiving to talk one show that the three guys know and love and this time around we're covering The Simpsons! Matt Groening's now 30+ year old baby is chugging along and crapping out episodes and the guys take an opportunity to reminisce about the glory days of the show before hinting at their feelings on the show's lengthy run. Van tells the guys behind the scenes facts, and they all decide who their favorite characters are (kind of)Check out this intro show and get ready...
2022-11-2134 minBoob Tube BoysEp 82 | The Munsters: "Bronco Bustin' Munster"The Boob Tubers have lassoed themselves an episode of The Munsters where a vampire turns into a horse, and they're having a rootin'-tootin' good time! Brian, Spencer, and Van gather 'round the watering hole to talk pet dinosaurs, baseball bats that are too big, and--you guessed it--horse sex. A whole bunch of horse sex. You don't want to miss this culture clash of cowboys and monsters, complete with a special bonus game sure to get your spurs a-jingling!
2022-11-171h 01Boob Tube BoysEp 81 | The Munsters: "Herman the Great"No one ever called it "No Monster November," so the Boob Tube Boys are keepin' it creepin' with The Munsters, a black-and-white show about a scary family living in a standard issue American town. Brian, Spencer, and Van take a trip back to the 1960s to ask the big questions: what kind of monsters are The Munsters? Was Al Lewis history's most punk Dracula? Why would you put a mask on a wrestling Frankenstein? Hit that download button and finish up your night work so you can listen
2022-11-0956 minBoob Tube BoysThe BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2022 Part 2More creepy pastas?! That's right! It's Halloween, so why not? This time around Brian takes a trip back to the deadliest race in the universe, with dire consequences. Van sees what Jasper, Kyle, and our mean narrator kid are up to this Halloween, and Spencer climbs atop his wholesome Christian pony and talks about a formerly famous Kevin who likes to say really racist things and complain about being cancelled!
2022-10-311h 05Boob Tube BoysEp 80 | Twilight Zone: "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet"The Boob Tube Boys take a quick detour and stop in that scariest of places, the most frightening of landscapes, a weird destination known as... the Twilight Zone. But you probably knew that anyway since we do two of each show. Anyway this time around Spencer hoists Van and Brian clear into the sky as they talk about the exceptionally famous "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet." But no matter how famous it is, there's no way the guys could have been prepared to lay witness to the horror of the episodeHappy Halloween 2022 and don't forget to also check out...
2022-10-311h 08Boob Tube BoysThe BTBs Write Creepy Pastas: 2022 Part 1In what is becoming an annual tradition Spencer, Van, and Brian get together not just to read Creepy Pastas to one another... but to write them as well! This is one our favorite events here at Bootu Inc. and today's stories don't disappoint. This year we are putting out two separate bonus shows each with three stories, since we were just a little carried away writing this yearOn today's show we've got a frightening tale of corporate greed (and cupcakes), a classic tall tale of grand proportions, and a "sweltering" battle between good and evil...
2022-10-281h 16Boob Tube BoysEp 79 | The Twilight Zone: "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street"You find yourself sitting on your couch. It's a normal October weeknight, but there's a chill in the air. You feel the urge to turn on your favorite podcasting app only to discover... you're in the 5th dimension. Whoops! Well don't worry too much about that because the BTBs are here to help!Spencer grabs the reigns and leads Van and Brian through one of the most famous sci-fi shows of all time where the guys answer the age old question: were people in the 50s just as awful as they are today? The answer is yes, they...
2022-10-261h 07Boob Tube BoysEp 78 | Are You Afraid of the Dark?: "The Tale of the Reanimator"What is it about attempting to bring your long buried wife back from the dead that gets young people so upset these days?! Van decides the only way to find out is to drag Spencer and Brian north of the border and into the tundra wasteland of Canada, as the guys cover one more episode of Nickelodeon’s Are You Afraid of the Dark?! This one concerns a topic of constant discussion on the Boob Tube Boys; NecromancySo gather up your dead plants, find a nice tall glass of COLD water, and do your best not to mu...
2022-10-241h 16Boob Tube BoysEp 77 | Are You Afraid of the Dark?: "The Tale of the Dangerous Soup"The Boob Tube Boys kick off their spooky season by touching on the most frightening thing of all... foods you slurp! Van throws the guys back to his childhood in the 90s and they discuss the Nickelodeon kid's horror show Are You Afraid of the Dark? where they finally find out the answer to that age old question. There's Neve Campbell, references to Robbie Coltrane (RIP, we recorded this before his death), a bunch of Canadian kids, and the spookiest soup you've ever seen (it's made of fear, duh)
2022-10-181h 13Boob Tube BoysEp 76 | Matlock: "The Biker"Following a brief recess, the Boob Tube Boys are back in the courtroom, ready to lay down the law. Who killed movie star Nicky Tower at the world premiere of his awful movie? It's up to America's cop-attorney gramps Ben Matlock to find out. This case has it all, from unruly bikers who won't curse to improbably dense weightlifters. Brian, Van, and Spencer analyze all the action, bracelet purchases, and indoor smoking before ultimately rendering their final verdict. OVERRULED!
2022-10-121h 33Boob Tube BoysEp 75 | Matlock: "The Cult"It's time for opening arguments as the Boob Tubers cover an important grandpa lawyer show from Brian's childhood, Matlock! Van and Spencer are inducted into Matlock's world by meeting a real thumper of a theme song, the Future Now cult, and legal assistant/MMA fighter Tyler. Who's the better cult leader, Joshua Bradberry or Ezra Smith? Is the principal from California Dreams the world's foremost brainwashing expert? This episode aims to answer these hard-hitting questions and more
2022-10-071h 34Boob Tube BoysEp 74 | The Casketeers: "New Chi-land"Have you ever forced a coworker to sit in your car with you while you eat a delicious, stuffed, mincemeat pie? No? Well then you must not be Francis, the star of the Casketeers! He's up to old tricks again as he grapples with his recent Gastric Bypass Surgery but don't worry because Spencer, Brian, and Van are here to comment on his every scrumptious bite. The guys talk all about the Tipene funeral home and give final thoughts on the series as a show. Is it better than Duck Dynasty? (Well, yes. But for the sake of the narrative...
2022-09-211h 08Boob Tube BoysEp 73 | The Casketeers: "Tape Gun Troubles"New Zealand's hit corpse reality television program didn't initially have episode titles, but Spencer, Brian, and Van remedy that and help out the charming Tipene family by christening S1 E5 "Tape Gun Troubles!" Spencer tackles this episode with aplomb as he desperately tries to walk the fine line between tragedy and fat jokes, which honestly is nothing new for the Boob Tube BoysThis episode has everything you could ever want- Jamiroquai, whimsy, meat pies, and of course necromancy. Whoops... no not that last one
2022-09-141h 01Boob Tube BoysEp 72 | Andromeda: "The Spider's Strategem"Since season 1 of Andromeda behind the scenes some big things have happened. Chief among them was the exit of series showrunner Robert Hewitt Wolfe due 'star' Kevin Sorbo demanding the show focus on his character more. We explore this season 4 episode to decide if that was at all a good idea, and spoiler alert, it sure isn't!Van, Brain, and Spencer slog through what might be one of the worst shows they've covered in Boob Tube Boys history. It's so bad that even a blowjob witch, sentient body armor, and Nia Peeples can't save it!
2022-09-091h 24Boob Tube BoysEp 71 | Andromeda: "Star-Crossed"We decided to take Babylon 5, strip all the wonder and fun out of it, shove the big, dumb star of Hercules into it and out popped today's show, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda! Kevin Sorbo places himself in front of the camera while two robots get busy as Van, Brian, and Spencer tackle another space show. Is this one as good at the others? Well... no, but there are robots having sex!
2022-09-011h 27Boob Tube BoysEp 70 | Melrose Place: "Devil with the G-String On"The BTBs are back for round two of Melrose Place's unrelenting attempts at flirtation. None of the hosts thought things could get any wilder than last week, but that's before they met a greasy vagabond named Chas. Are Kimberly and Michael still evil? Are they somehow more evil?! Why would anyone marry Billy? Will Sarah ever measure up to Terry Stevens? Brian, Van, and Spencer have all the answers. Take your pants off seductively and press play!
2022-08-241h 39Boob Tube BoysEp 69 | Melrose Place: "Carpe Diem"Freshen your breath, put on your hottest 'fit, and loosen up with a glass of wine. It's time for the 69th episode of Boob Tube Boys, and there's no better way to celebrate than by covering Melrose Place. Brian guides Van and Spencer through a world of apartment complex pools, gaslighting, and sexual dreams about nature. You'll learn all about night picnics and corporate retreats, so you don't want to miss this sultry, sweaty episode. Unless you're some sort of prude!
2022-08-181h 23Boob Tube BoysEp 67 | Coach: "Leonard Kraleman: All-American"Hut hut! Football! It's Hail Mary time for the BTBs as Coach Spencer runs down the playbook with Defensive Coordinator Brian Vaughan and Towel Boy Van Lee. That playbook? An early season episode of the 90s sitcom Coach starring Craig T. Nelson! Listen in to find out just how good of a coach Coach can be when Coach has to help Rob Schneider make friends. And that's real!
2022-08-041h 01Boob Tube BoysEp 65 | Magnum P.I.: "Computer Date"Ah Hawaii, the last recognized state to join the United States of America (take that Guam!), it's a land that brought us Lu'aus, ukuleles, leis, and Hawaiian shirts. But that's not all... it also brought Tom Selleck showing off his balls in tiny shorts! Van, Brian, and Spencer trudge their way through the gun-totin', ugly woman-hatin' piece of 80s history that is Magnum P.I., and the guys fumble their way through watching a man try and guilt a woman into loving him
2022-07-141h 29Boob Tube BoysEp 64 | ER: "Freefall"The Tube Crew finds out quickly that ER changed drastically between its first and 10th seasons. Thanksgiving plans, helicopter attacks, and a reprehensible Bill Burr clone highlight a fun episode. Brian ponders exactly how much fire and wetness one episode of TV can contain. Has anyone tried Turducken? What show will Spencer force Van to cover next?
2022-07-081h 39Boob Tube BoysEp 63 | ER: "Love's Labor Lost"The Boob Tube Boys take their first of two trips to NBC's ER, this time covering one of the show's most legendary episodes. Things get dark in this one, but that doesn't mean it's all doom and gloom at the Bootu Inc. studios. Van, Brian, and Spencer still find time to talk Danny DeVito pregnancies, George Clooney's insult of choice, and (somehow) According to Jim
2022-06-301h 24Boob Tube BoysEp 62 | Party of Five: "Tender Age"Have you ever thought to yourself "you know what I'd like to see? About a dozen insufferable jerks half-ass looking for a child in the mall while fretting about their relationship issues." Well then this episode is precisely what you're looking for! Spencer tries desperately to keep Van and Brian on track discussing this depressing Party of Five episode but chickens keep getting in the wayPut on your best Thunder Trooper cosplay outfit and check out this edition of 90s drama-fest featuring Bizarro Jerry!
2022-06-231h 13Boob Tube BoysEp 59 | Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Part II"When we last left our hero (Old Ben) he had just agreed to save Princess Leia from the nefarious forces of Flea. We pick up on the neon streets of Space Hong Kong where there are seedy monsters, Ewan McGregor's daughter, a drug factory, and possibly our little captured heroine. Van, Brian, and Spencer once again travel to a galaxy far, far away to figure out if Kenobi still has what it takes to use magic and cut things in half with his laser swordSo cut open your tauntaun, slip inside, and get cozy for Obi-Wan Kenobi...
2022-06-041h 21Boob Tube BoysEp 58 | Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Part 1"Star Wars. The Boob Tube Boys. Finally the two epic creations collide in this very special episode where Van, Brian, and Spencer dive headfirst into the sad, sad life of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Van has been counting down the days until the release of the Disney+ show and now that it's here it is time to give it the BTB treatment. So steal yourself a piece of meat from work, get adopted by Jimmy Smits, and plug in your Fender J-bass (that's what Flea uses) and join the guys on Tatooine!If you love Star Wars get ready for...
2022-05-301h 29Boob Tube BoysEp 57 | Knight Rider: "K.I.T.T. the Cat"The Tubers go back in time to cover Knight Rider, a show about what hot people and sentient cars were doing in the mid-1980s. Brian is in the driver's seat this week, steering Van and Spencer to victory lane as the crew discusses synthesizers, shirt buttons, and the world's dampest misanthrope. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get your priceless jewels stolen right from under your nose!
2022-05-251h 29Boob Tube BoysEp 56 | True Justice: "Dark Vengeance"If you're sitting at home thinking "boy, I sure wish I could listen to more Steven Seagal talk," then you've hit the jackpot with this week's episode! Van continues where we left off last week with this episode of True Justice and he tells Brian and Spencer all about yet another dead girl chained to a fence. Only this time it isn't a stripper... it's a cop!This hits too close to home for the crew of the Seattle Police Department, so they ask their large mumbly leader to figure out this murderous situation. Of course first he...
2022-05-181h 16Boob Tube BoysEp 55 | True Justice: "Black Magic"Being lifelong friends the Boob Tube Boys have many things in common. They all love pizza, they all lived at this one house on Pinehurst in Springfield, Missouri at one point, and they of course all love the works of one Steven Seagal! Seagal typically saves his antics for the silver screen but one time Seagal managed to convince a show developer to give him a a 26 episode series that debuted in Spain (I'm not joking). True Justice is that show!Listen in to hear Van guide Spencer and Brian onto the seedy streets of Seattle where Detective...
2022-05-121h 24Boob Tube BoysEp 53 | Father Knows Best: "Spaghetti for Margaret"70s years after Father Knows Best aired the BTBs are finally out to settle the question: does father know best? Spencer dives deep into FKB lore and imparts his wisdom on Van and Brian as the trio discovers the true value of a free spaghetti feed. Along they way they discuss Kathy's giant head, Bud being an insufferable teenager, and of course learn the best way to silence your detractors is to be invited to a gala as the honored guest of a famous author!
2022-04-271h 24Boob Tube BoysEp 52 | Bibleman: "Crushing the Conspiracy of the Cheater"Look: maybe Bibleman is actually awesome. This week brings a very different episode featuring a new caped quoter of scripture and less concern for trimming the rough edges of an obviously low budget production. Van, Brian, and Spencer get tangled up in a world of high-tech business cards, a cackling bad guy, Bible Bowls, and the sweetest lil' southern dandy your ears ever did hear. Stick around until the end to find out what show (and what decade) Spencer chooses for the team next!
2022-04-201h 03Boob Tube BoysEp 51 | Bibleman: "Conquering the Wrath of Rage"Put on your Sunday best and listen to what those lovely Boob Tube Boys have to say about the children's direct-to-video superhero show Bibleman! Brian guides Van and Spencer through the world of middle school bullies forged by magic dust, villain lair scenes that abruptly turn into music videos, and more tucked-in clothing than you'd see on a yacht in 1988. You'll be "Livin' La Furiosa" by the time the episode ends!
2022-04-131h 09Boob Tube BoysEp 50 | Babylon 5: "Into the Fire"Sure the Vorlons are cool as hell, but so are the Shadows! That means it's up to Van, Brian, and Spencer to determine which made up space monster is the right choice to be our caretaker. To figure it out, the guys watch Babylon 5 S4 E6: "Into the Fire" in which our hero (a charming, well-groomed plank of a man) the Captain leads all of the universe's forces into battle to determine the fate of said universe. Is there a smug alien know it all? You betcha. Tune it to hear the guys not chant "Gyor! Gyor! Gyor!" for an...
2022-04-061h 23Boob Tube BoysEp 49 | Babylon 5: "TKO"Imagine the coolest thing you can think of. Is it alien karate fights and weird space jargon? THEN IT ISN'T AS COOL AS THIS EPISODE!Van, Brian, and Spencer strap on their spacesuits and rocket their way onto the Babylon 5 space station where they encounter space rabbis, weird ghoulish men creeping in the shadows, the weirdest hairline you've ever seen, and of course Gyor- the greatest fighter to ever grace the Mutai!
2022-03-301h 48Boob Tube BoysEp 48 | Squid Game: "Hell"The BTBs return to the scary, violent world of pitting people against one another in deadly competitions only to actually instead take a look at the scary, violent world of... well... everyday life! Spencer, Brian, and Van check out Squid Game episode 2 where our characters vote to leave the Squid Compound only to realize life on the outside is possibly even worse for them. Is Gi-hun as big of a dick as it seemed in the first episode? Where did Sang-woo go to school? How many fingers does Ali have? And why is Sae-byeok constantly so melancholy?! Tune in to...
2022-03-251h 38Boob Tube BoysEp 47 | Squid Game: "Red Light, Green Light"Have you ever wanted to hear the Boob Tube Boys butcher a bunch of Korean names for over an hour? No? Well tough because that's exactly what you're getting! The first episode of the hit Netflix series is up first and Spencer, Brian, and Van take a dive into the life of Gi-hun, a comically sad man with money problems who is introduced to a novel new way of making cash: playing pogs and bartering slaps. The boys talk the fresh legacy of the show and what they think of the beggining of the series!
2022-03-111h 29Boob Tube BoysEp 46 | Holmes and Yoyo: "Yoyo Takes a Bride"We all know Yoyo can solve a crime, but can he bang?! Brian posits this question and more to Van and Spencer as the Boob Tubers return once more to the '70s cop-and-bot show Holmes and Yoyo. There's a burglar up to no good at the local motel, and the only TV-logical way to nab the culprit is to have Yoyo and Maxine pose as honeymooners to catch him in the act. Will our main characters get their man, or will the whole motel find out Yoyo has a wrench for a crank before they get the chance? Listen...
2022-02-231h 05Boob Tube BoysEp 45 | Holmes and Yoyo: "Funny Money"The BTBs switch things up this week with Holmes and Yoyo, a show that probably never existed. Brian guides Van and Spencer to an unnamed filthy, 1970s city with only diners in it, but it turns out there's trouble afoot! A toad and a square robot need to catch a counterfeiter before it's too late, but will their heroic attempts be foiled by a guy who works at a plastic factory? You'd better listen to find out
2022-02-171h 16Boob Tube BoysEp 44 | Bones: "The Eye in the Sky"No Bones about it!That's it. That's the joke.Brian, Spencer, and Van are dragged yet again through Bones territory as the trio take one last deep long right into the meaty face of David Boreanaz. On this one, Booth infiltrates an underground poker game despite being a gambling addict and the rest of the Jeffersonian team try to tell him that's stupid. What fun!
2022-02-121h 27Boob Tube BoysEp 43 | Bones: "Aliens in a Spaceship"Strap on your best set of bones, get a tall glass of bone juice (milk), and prepare for the wild ride that is Fox's Bones! Van makes Spencer and Brian wade through the Jeffersonian Institute, where noted bone expert Temperance "Bones" Brennan works to identify... well... bones. Of course along the way we're introduced to a tiny annoying man who says he has a lot of money, the Angelatron, Gormogon's baby, and of course David Boreanaz and his big, broad face. What's not to love? Oh and beware the Gravedigger!
2022-02-011h 33Boob Tube BoysEp 42 | Goosebumps: "Be Careful What You Wish For"Not a day goes by that a chicken witch doesn't try to get me to direct her to moss street by the old quarry and they always want to repay you with wishes. For some reason Goosebumps, based on the popular kid's books of the same name thought this was just too good of an idea to pass up for their next show plot so here we are talking basketball, mean Canadian children, and the most complicated but easily distorted wishes you could ask for. Spencer, Brian, and Van discuss the show, magical talismans and all!
2022-01-271h 01Boob Tube BoysEp 41 | Goosebumps: "The Cuckoo Clock of Doom"Do you like knowing when it is? Is your little sister a master of manipulation and quite possibly the most evil creature to have ever been born? Are you a Canadian theater actor just looking for your big break? If you've answered 'yes' to any of these questions (or 'no,' we're not picky) then this episode of the Boob Tube Boys is for you! Spencer takes Van and Brian on a trip to the past as the fellas cover the 1990s "horror" series brought to you by the money making mind of R.L. Stine
2022-01-191h 09Boob Tube BoysFree Patreon Bonus: The BTBs Write Creepy PastasWe need a bit more time to finish up with the 43rd Annual Boobies Awards episode, so you finally get to hear this gem! This is an episode we recorded several months ago prior to Van's near death experience, and with Goosebumps coming up soon there's no better time than now to get spooky! Spencer, Brian, and Van decided rather than find some really poorly written Creepy Pastas on the web to read they would write their own really poorly written Creepy Pastas! You'll hear a tale of the antagonistic husband, the plight of Baby Buckets and Romparoo, the deadliest...
2021-12-311h 11Boob Tube BoysEp 40 | Legends of the Hidden Temple: "The Mystical Spellbook of the Imperial Wizard"The Boob Tubers are still enjoying their time with Nickelodeon's '90s game show for kids, the immortal Legends of the Hidden Temple. This time around, they're discussing season three episode 14, "The Mystical Spellbook of the Imperial Wizard." Look, it's not necessarily a cool, Gandalf-type wizard the show offers up, but game show host Kirk Fogg's passive aggressive needling of 12-year-olds more than makes up for the lack of purple hats. Will it be Spencer or Van who climbs the spider web faster to retrieve all of the plastic bats? Will Olmec consume Brian and take over hosting duties before...
2021-12-2253 minBoob Tube BoysEp 39 | Legends of the Hidden Temple: "The Stone Head of the Evil King"After being cursed by a vengeful shadow spirit, the Boys of Boob Tube enter an ancient Mayan Temple governed by an omniscient stone head. To put it more clearly, Brian, Van and Spencer are discussing the golden era Nickelodeon game show Legends of the Hidden Temple!This week they're talkin' season two episode 12, "The Stone Head of the Evil King," which really should have just been called "Clash of the Titans, abbreviated." Will the Blue Barracudas overcome a faulty buzzer? Which team name is the coolest? Do you wish you had a beefier Super Soaker than your friends...
2021-12-1555 minBoob Tube BoysEp 38 | 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After: "She's a Wolf"If you thought last week's trip back into reality television was bad, you are in for quite the surprise. Van once again brings Brian and Spencer into the 90 Day Fiancé fold as they move ahead a few years and check back in with Karine and Paul, now in the beautiful U.S. of A! Of course there are also new couples along for the ride including Jabba the Hutt and Michael, the Chicken and the Moldovan, Pineapple Head and Mormon Wife, and of course Colt and Larissa and Jess and Vanessa. What a party!
2021-12-081h 51Boob Tube BoysEp 37 | 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days: "Red Flags"If you're the kind of person that sits around and thinks "gee I wish I could watch a handful of awful, awful people pretend to be in love with a complete stranger" then have we got the show for you! Van mercilessly forces Brian and Spencer to check out one of 90 Day Faincé's spin-off series; Before the 90 Days. It's here that they meet a couple of elderly men passive-agressively fighting over a young girl, a still human-ish Darcey Silva, and whatever exactly Paul is supposed to be.Tune in and learn just how badly the boys hated t...
2021-12-011h 01Boob Tube BoysSeinfeld Week: "The Chicken Roaster"Seinfeld week continues for the Boob Tube Boys as Spencer takes the reigns for today's show bringing Van and Brian along for the greasy, delicious ride of their lives. Jerry finds himself feeling sorry for his old friend Seth whose life he just ruined, and Kramer's apartment just happens to be right across from the new Kenny Rogers' Roasters sign which is emitting the most violent, neon red light to ever exist. Elaine finds herself at the helm of the J. Peterman Company where she's using the company credit card to buy outlandish things like a Sable hat for George...
2021-11-2431 minBoob Tube BoysSeinfeld Week: "The Marine Biologist"Seinfeld week begins with a blast as the boys cover what just might be the greatest episode of sitcom television in history with "The Marine Biologist." Brian is conductor on this one-way train to gigglesville with Van and Spencer as his ill-fated passengers. They discuss this season 5 episode of Seinfeld in which George is put in a precarious position but this time not of his own volition, Elaine is repeating fake facts and enraging a Russian author with her noisy digital assistant, and Kramer is littering to his heart's content as he decides to whack some golf balls into the...
2021-11-2235 minBoob Tube BoysSeinfeld Week: "The Introduction"What's the deal with the Boob Tube Boys?! They aren't boys, they aren't made of tubes, but they sure are boobs! Shouldn't it be just The Boobs?!This kind of astute observation could only be possible by covering the 90s megapower sitcom Seinfeld and that's just what The Boobs are doing this week! Van, Brian, and Spencer get together to talk Seinfeld as a whole today, so they talk the roots of the show, when and how it succeeded, the actors, and much more including playing a round of Seinfeld trivia!This week marks a full...
2021-11-2246 minBoob Tube BoysEp 36 | Silk Stalkings: "Night Games"t's time to put on your tightest pair of leather pants, fluff your hair as big as it will go, and set into motion the most convoluted murder plan your adorable heart can come up with as the Boob Tube Boys once again cover Silk Stalkings! Spencer hosts Van and Brian into the still sultry world of downtown Palm Beach, Florida where Tim Thomerson of Dollman fame is into some kinky stuff with his former prostitute wife. All despite being the size of a normal human being, and not a doll! Murder, mystery, intrigue, and stumbling onto clues await you...
2021-11-191h 24Boob Tube BoysEp 35 | Silk Stalkings: "Shock Jock"It's often said that the 1990s were the sexiest of all the sexy decades, and the Boob Tube Boys are out to prove it with the sexiest sexy show to ever exist in the sexy-verse. Spencer leads Brian and Van through a minefield of nightgowns and low, soft spoken voices as the boys cover Silk Stalkings! They watch and discuss S1 E13: "Shock Jock" where a Howard Stern wannabe does his best to be a perplexingly evil and yet poignant man clad all in black from head to toe, all while dealing with the murder of his fiancée of 7 y...
2021-11-101h 25Boob Tube BoysEp 34 | Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman: "Birdman"Van, Brian, and Spencer once again fly back in time to the 19th century for some more Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman for this week's Boob Tube Boys installment. This time around, a capricious sprite named Martin wanders into Colorado Springs from the deep woods, pecking his way into the hearts of Dr. Quinn and her family in the process. While Martin just wants to spread his wings in a new town, the typically rabid residents of Colorado Springs want to see him migrate elsewhere for the winter. This episode is a wild ride featuring one of the most memorable characters...
2021-10-261h 11Boob Tube BoysEp 33 | Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman: "The Incident"There may have not been any Bube Tube Boys back in 1867, but that doesn't mean there aren't Boob Tube Boys around now. This week, Van has tasked Brian with covering the Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman episode, "The Incident." It turns out the incident is murder, unless the incident is actually the coverup of the murder, and your favorite pod people are on the case. Join us as Van falls in love with a long-faced character named Horace, Spencer deals with the violence of squintin' Jake Slicker, and Brian realizes his given name might not be suitable for adults
2021-10-201h 09Boob Tube BoysEp 32 | Mission: Impossible: "The Tram"Van, Brian, and Spencer may not be secret agents, but they sure are capable of sitting down for a while and talking about them! And that's exactly what you get today as the BTBs discuss another episode of Mission: Impossible. We've got cast changes, goons, mobsters, mobster goons, other goons, and of course the titular tram. Does the mission go off flawlessly without a hitch? Tune in to find out!
2021-10-141h 01Boob Tube BoysEp 31 | Mission: Impossible: "The Exchange"Greetings listeners. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to listen to the newest Boob Tube Boys episode about the 1970s hit television show Mission: Impossible! Van takes Brian and Spencer on a journey to Vaguelandia out East as the agents of the Impossible Missions Force scramble to rescue one of their own after Super Special Agent Oregano has been captured by the most menacing villain seen since Sergeant Major Jackson. So cram yourself in the back of a wheelchair, slap on a vague accent and join the boys for some cool spy stuff
2021-10-071h 20Boob Tube BoysEp 29 | Frasier: "The Focus Group"Oh ye gods! You've spilled all your tossed salad onto my scrambled eggs! But now the Boob Tube Boys don't know what to do because they are calling... again.Enough of that plebian nonsense! We're too prim and proper to make jokes like that because Spencer, Brian, and Van have been elevated to high society as they witness the Kelsey Grammar-led Cheers spinoff Frasier. The three sip cognac and debate the finer things about Tony Shalhoub and Frasier's wardrobe (apparently Brian has a lot to say) and they do it with the dignity and respect you've come to...
2021-09-2351 minBoob Tube BoysEp 28 | Duck Dynasty: "Duck Be a Lady"Wading through the swamps of Louisiana once again the BTBs are tackling another horrible episode of Duck Dynasty. Van leads Brian and Spencer through the 'gator littered waters as they learn all about believing you're the best choice to pick out a homecoming dress for your teenage daughter despite believing camouflaged pants are stylish. Oh and they also learn all about them high-falutin' coffee shops, how to fake stack some boxes, and that the best way to die of both boredom and rage is to watch Duck Dynasty!Editor's Note: We took out the Zed Zed Top theme...
2021-09-1755 minBoob Tube BoysEp 27 | Duck Dynasty: "Redneck Roadtrip"The Boob Tube Boys head deep into swamp territory as they cover the cultural phenomenon known as Duck Dynasty. Van begrudgingly takes the helm and leads Brian and Spencer through the fetid bog of family Robertson, and the boys learn all about putting together a very real "Reality Show" that isn't at all scripted in the least as it's totally real and very not fake. At all. And on this episode... an alligator!Editor's Note: We took out the Zed Zed Top theme song for rights purposes, but still talk like it's there. Just pretend you heard Sharp...
2021-09-091h 10Boob Tube BoysEp 26 | Queer Eye: "Stoner Skates By"Now that Thomas is permanently cured of his MMORPG blues, Queer Eye's fab five turn their attention to a skating Stoner. No, it isn't nearly as rad as it sounds, but the Boob Tubers were still quite into it. Listen to hear all about suits lined with nudity, pancakes covered in blueberries, and parental negligence obfuscated by affability. Will Van learn to love Jonathan Van Ness? Will Spencer offer insight into his time as a professional figure skater? You will find out the answers to these questions as well as what show Brian is unleashing on Van next week if...
2021-09-061h 10Boob Tube BoysEp 25 | Queer Eye: "Sloth to Slay"The Boob Tube Boys return to cover Queer Eye, the first show in a special round of shows the hosts picked for one another. Is Spencer secretly trying to tell Brian that he needs fashion and grooming advice by selecting Queer Eye, or is it mere coincidence? Did Van rearrange the podcast studio because he was inspired by Queer Eye designer Bobby Berk's eye for contour? Find out the answers to these burning questions and more, as your favorite old men discuss The fab five making over a guy named Thomas at his own sister's behest. What are you waiting...
2021-08-251h 11Boob Tube BoysEp 24 | Saved by the Bell (Reboot): "The Bayside Triangle"Did you hear that obnoxious ringing? Don't be tardy for another week of Saved by the Bell, but not so fast! Spencer, Brian, and Van are jumping 30 years into the future as they take a look at the new (and depending on whom you ask, improved) series, which launched on Peacock in 2020 and is still ongoing. Meet the new Bayside crew while catching up with the old one as The Boob Tube Boys go into far more detail than is warranted analyzing S1E3: The Bayside Triangle
2021-08-191h 11Boob Tube BoysEp 23 | Saved by the Bell: "Blind Dates"The Boob Tube Boys are not believers in the sentiment that high school comprises the best four years of your life. You wouldn't know it, as they have once again chosen a show with a high school setting. Spencer brings Van and Brian along for a look back at Saved by the Bell, starting with S2E6 "Blind Dates." Scintillating discussions take place, including Slater's douchery, a debate of blackmail vs extortion, and exactly what might cause a person's teeth to sweat. Oh and Pepsi
2021-08-111h 14Boob Tube BoysEp 22 | Renegade: "Hard Rider"The open highway beckons once again to the Boob Tube Boys as Van saddles up his hoss alongside his small muscular goon Brian and his surly biker bud Ripsaw (Spencer) and the three tackle another episode of Renegade. Lorenzo Lamas calmly meanders his way around a biker gang, a couple of murderous Australians, and the dense black hair atop Wayne Newton's head. So put on your best skull and bones t-shirt and take as much methamphetamines as you can cram down your throat as you prepare for the kidnapping of the century
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