Shows
The Beige and The BoldMasksIn the far distant future of the 24th century, museum exhibits will interact with you.
It's hard to say anything about "Masks" because there's no human story, no lesson, and no real point to it. It's a standalone idea that's executed with moderate skill. It's a Star Trek episode that happened.
I dunno. How are YOU doing?
My guest this week is NamelessSeeD, who runs For Heroes Gaming. You can check it out at https://www.fourheroesgaming.com/ and see his other projects at https://www.fourheroesgaming.com/projects
The Beige...2021-09-2747 minThe Beige and The BoldDark PageDark Page is a heavy and surreal episode which is a hard thing to make fun of, but me and Smokey try.
I hope you guys like How I Met Your Mother*.
It's great how this episode deals with language and trauma. As best as a 45-minute episodic TV drama can. It utilizes Majel Barret effectively and Marina Sirtis gets some decent work. I'm not sure why this episode isn't remembered better. It's got an IMDB score of 6.4, which puts it in the bottom middle of Season 7. I don't see how it's neck-and-neck with "Force of...2021-09-2247 minThe Beige and The BoldPhantasms Solo SessionUnedited, slightly incoherent, and mostly redundant, The Beige and The Bold Solo Sessions are episodes where I run through a show all on my own.
Man, "Phantasms" has got it all; lazy pseudoscience, disdain for people who aren't the main cast, and a gaping hole where a big idea should be. It's a yawner that's only slightly redeemed by its strong and bizarre visuals.
I cover The Original Series' saurian brandy and its contribution to the field of psychology, the fish-eye lens that dates from the same era, and the horrors of being assimilated into T...2021-09-1344 minThe Beige and The BoldGambit, Pt IIGepwin and I talk Horatio Hornblower, the black boxes of command, and how logic and emotional are a little more complicated than Vulcans talk about.
Also, how much bull-hockey is it when Picard just hacks [REDACTED] off-screen. That's a big sword of Damocles hanging over this story and then Picard just Uno Reverse cards it when no one is looking. Disappointing.
Also: More like The Stone of Gol'darn Disappointing.
You can find Gepwin's work on Watchers of Tomorrow here: https://watchersoftomorrow.podbean.com/ and his YouTube channel here.
The Beige and...2021-09-1050 min
The Beige and The BoldGambit, Pt IWe talk about the narrative structure and the shallowness of fake outs and deaths in media, from Boromir, to Picard, to John Snow. There's some discussion about Star Trek clumsily trying to affect seedy bars and archaeology sites.
Gambit is the most uncompelling compelling episode I've ever seen and we try to figure out why. For everything happening, it doesn't feel like anything. Why doesn't this episode charm even a bit?
You can find Gepwin's work on Watchers of Tomorrow here: https://watchersoftomorrow.podbean.com/ and his YouTube channel here.
The Beige and T...2021-08-2347 minThe Beige and The BoldInterfaceUnedited, slightly incoherent, and mostly redundant, The Beige and The Bold Solo Sessions are episodes where I run through a show all on my own.
I'm sorry, but I just don't know Ben Vereen and Madge Sinclair. This isn't a boast; it's a--conspicuous--hole in my pop culture knowledge. Like, my dad and I sit around and talk about actors in movies. I'm introducing him to Giancarlo Esposito. I don't know them that well. Ben Vereen is still acting and Madge Sinclair was in The Lion King and Look Who's Coming to Dinner. Not small roles.
...2021-08-1044 minThe Beige and The BoldLiaisonsUnedited, slightly incoherent, and mostly redundant, The Beige and The Bold Solo Sessions are episodes where I run through a show all on my own.
Picard is in a Geordi plot, which is mind-blowing to discover, and the intrigue sizzles like a superconductor on an Alaskan highway*. No one cares and nothing happens. Worf gets a win and sales of fun-size Mars bars and Hurricanes go up by 1%.
The actor I couldn't place was Eric Pierpoint. I thought I'd feel stupid when I looked it up, but I don't. He wasn't in the original movie, j...2021-08-0244 minThe Beige and The BoldDescent, Pt III've turned the volume up on this episode so it plays at the same level as other audio on my system. I've always set the volume according to Audacity instead of from the playback of the exported episode, but I'm doing this now. So the episode might be louder than past episodes. Let me know if it's too loud.
Grymm and I talk about payoffs, Lore's choice of attire, and how this is a really underrated 2-parter in Trek history. Weirdly underrated.
The episode where Worf becomes a paraplegic is "Ethics." "Extreme Measures" is a...2021-07-2746 min
The Beige and The BoldTimescapeAnna's back and we're talking about solid character episode with minimal ghosts "Timescape."
It's got runabouts! And time travel!
There's not too much to say about this one. We don't have a deep concept or a tightly-constructed mystery. Timey-wimey stuff happens, but we have fun anyway.
I mean that time; it sure is subjective, right?
I've been out a few weeks due to internet problems, so I'll be posting a bit to make up for it. But that's just the end of season six before we go into a bit of...2021-04-1948 minThe Beige and The BoldThe November UpdateThere's not much to say Derek is leaving. He's going to record "All Good Things" with me, but it won't go up until the end of the series.
Until then we've got guests and solo session. Get me at https://twitter.com/VanVelding if you'd like to be a guest.2020-11-1602 min
The Beige and The BoldShip in a BottleThis starts a period of The Beige and The Bold where some episodes include Derek and me, and others include a special guest co-host instead of Derek. This week's special guest co-host is Brady Hendricks of The City Within the Walls Podcast. We talk about Moriarty, holodeck programming, and Inception.
Brady raises a good question: After everything we've been through with Barclay, do we trust him with the holodeck? He's familiar with it, but is he too familiar with it?
You can check out The City Within the Walls Podcast on itunes: https://podcasts.apple...2020-09-1046 min
The Beige and The BoldChain of Command, Pt IIChain of Command, Pt II is one of the best episodes of the series. We get payoff on our construction of Jellico and the Cardassians in that we see the almost self-destructive need for control that runs through both.
And I'm done with my defense of Jellico. Obviously, the narrative is against him, but I don't think that's reason enough to scuttle him. I'm a "death of the author" guy. A story can make a character that's a laudable person even while it's trying to undermine them morally. "Paradise Lost" is the example that's easiest to call...2020-07-0647 min
The Beige and The BoldChain of Command, Pt ILike many of my opinions on Star Trek: The Next Generation, my opinion of Captain Jellico, specifically, has come full circle. I wish there was some nuance in his character, but he's just gratuitously aggro. No conflict with the Cardassians was so imminent that he couldn't just let Riker finish a sentence. Granted, our leads burrow into their roles as planets orbiting Captain Picard instead of breaking out as their own independent characters, so both of our bike tires are flat this time.
It turns out the nerd fraternity is Lambda Lambda Lambda, which was actually a...2020-06-3049 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Quality of LifeI was pleasantly surprised by this episode. I don't think I'd seen it since it originally aired. There are flaws in it, especially how they test for sentience, but I don't remember the story being this compelling. There are so few instances of Riker having good leadership moments in later seasons that this one where he knuckles down ends up being one of the better ones?
Should the exocomps have come back? What if they're sentient, but non-sapient? With neither a drive to reproduce nor aspirational intelligence? Is it moral to create beings strictly for labor, even...2020-06-2449 min
The Beige and The BoldA Fistful of DatasIt continues the proud tradition of TNG episodes using the holodeck and an improbable technical issue to fully commit themselves to genre episodes.
I mean, maybe not "proud."
It's got a ton great ideas: Data being a bunch of different dudes, Worf spending quality time with Alexander, Troi being cool and into Westerns. It just doesn't really get there with the plot and the Trek-ness of it.
I mean, if we're not going to let Troi light some dudes up, then let Worf replace all the guns with bat'leths, y'know?
The...2020-06-1651 min
The Beige and The BoldQ-GenicsWe're back on track and it's just Derek and me all the way through the halfway point of the season and the start of the Deep Space Nine series.
We talk about Amanda Rogers' bland taste in men, the yikes factor of turning Doctor Crusher into a dog, and what is the deal with the Q even? It's an episode that's all over the place and the last thing we care about the fate of some character we just met and will never see again.
Sorry, I guess that's a spoiler for Voyager when Amanda...2020-06-0950 min
The Beige and The BoldRascalsThe Road to Deep Space Nine ends in a place we didn't expect at a time we never considered. It's like Agincourt, Appomattox, or AR-558.
I don't really know what else to say. Here's the link to trekmovie.com, which has a little more about the various Trek organizations which are donating: https://trekmovie.com/2020/06/03/star-trek-websites-and-podcasts-unite-ask-trekkies-to-support-organizations-fighting-injustice/ and the original reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/startrek/comments/gva3en/the_mod_team_of_rstartrek_would_like_to_invite/
The ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/
East Of The River Mutual Aid Fund: https://www.gofundme.com...2020-06-0550 min
The Beige and The BoldSchismsThe Road to Deep Space Nine continues as I struggle through the bewildering house which Unsolved Mysteries made. I am legitimately struggling to understand how this episode came out before both "Fire in the Sky" and "The X-Files." Nimoy hosted "In Search of..." in 1977, so that's not a proximate cause.
Am I too mean here? About stories where there's always *some* way to win? Obviously, you can't have a series where ALL of our heroes' actions are doomed to fail, but certainly, there's something to be said for acknowledging when bold action just won't work. When resistance...2020-06-0145 min
The Beige and The BoldRelicsIt's important in crossovers that we make sure that the characters from different worlds don't automatically know each other are protagonists. I think a lot of fans would accept that, but it wouldn't be earned. What is cool is throwing characters together in a situation that's so dire that folks are willing to throw in with anyone who isn't trying to kill them right now.
I am interested in seeing the Picard throughline replaced with a Worf throughline. Worf being, I dunno, a nerd for weapons systems of this era, as these are the guys who the...2020-05-2648 min
The Beige and The BoldMan of the People*Uploads podcast on The Road to DS9*
*Runs back to the episode on Netflix and kicks it with each line*
HOW!
IS HE!
A MAN!
OF!
THE PEOPLE!?
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST.2020-05-1844 min
The Beige and The BoldRealm of FearThe Road to DS9 continues and I think it's one of those roads where it gets longer every time you take a step on it.
There's this yin and yang to The Beige and The Bold. A balance. A comme ci, and a comme ça, if you get what I'm saying. What I'm saying is...enjoy this solo episode.
Also, when I say "crazy" here, I mean it in a way that we accept Barclay has a host of problems but we still accept him. The problem in his first appearance wasn't really his problems, b...2020-05-1145 min
The Beige and The BoldTime's Arrow, Pt IIThere's so much stuff this episode wants to do that I feel we aren't spending the time to do it well.
We do have fun though. It's an enjoyable episode, even if it loses focus on our central theme of...wait, what's our central theme again?
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST.2020-05-0449 min
The Beige and The BoldTime's Arrow, Part IThere's no better benchmark of TNG's slide from "not so cerebral, but still serious" show to "situation drama" show than the season five closer, "Time's Arrow."
It's a fun show, but it's clearly lost so many, er, ferrets that it's stopped altogether looking for its lost ferrets. Where's Riker coming from? Where's the 'only Data can do this'-to-'now we can do this' thread of logic? Where's the cultural traction?
Also, props to Derek for asking about holocommunicators before Star Trek figured out it could do holocommunicators. They were right about those bones though; the bones w...2020-04-2946 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Inner LightThe Road to Deep Space Nine continues as I try to understand how Derek picked "The Next Phase" over "The Inner Light." I don't know why this episode works and I feel like it's down to an ineffable combination of pacing and acting.
Is it weird that this episode and Deep Space Nine's "Far Beyond the Stars" are considered among the best episodes of Star Trek DESPITE not being episodes which really function like Star Trek episodes?
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes g...2020-04-0645 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Next PhaseThis episode's path to glory was creating a good drama to distract us from the bad science or to make the science good, and therefore compelling and worth thinking about. All it really did was show that when you try hard for the Picard episodes and punt your Geordi/Ro episodes, the Geordi/Ro episodes will suck for completely non-mysterious reasons.
Also, with the mind-swapping episodes and the reverse aging episode (it's coming) and the hyper-aging episodes and the shrinking episode (it's coming) are there any broad, sci-fi ideas that Star Trek hasn't done that need to b...2020-03-3049 min
The Beige and The BoldI, BorgIt's a classic, apparently. It's weird how neither I nor Derek expected to see Hugh again. The...inertia of the series is pretty well-developed by this point.
The less-obvious lesson you could draw from this episode is one about Doctor Crusher. Is it better for her to cooperate with an unethical, although perhaps justified, operation because she has the opportunity to soften that operation? Or is it preferable that she preserve her own moral cleanliness and walk away?
I'm 100% sure what the correct thing to do in real life is. As a rule, at least. B...2020-03-2650 minThe Beige and The BoldImaginary FriendThis is the first episode of The Road to Deep Space Nine, where Derek and I pick up the pace and skip a few episodes of Derek's choice. You don't skip them; you get a solo adventure.
I don't know how I mixed up "Peggy Sue Got Married," a 1986 Back-to-the-Future-by-way-of-Somewhere-in-Time drama with "Drop Dead Fred," a 1991 black comedy about an imaginary friend and psychological healing.
I feel like Imaginary Friend is just a few degrees off from making sense, but nothing can redeem an episode where an obvious Troi speech is punted to Picard...for...2020-03-1644 minThe Beige and The BoldThe Perfect MateI feel like doing an episode which accepted so many messed-up assumptions could have worked in service to so many other great ideas. Whats up with the male social push to engage the the performances which allow us the chance to engage in intercourse...but a woman? That's a great angle for an episode of Star Trek. What about the examination of traditional, Western ritual monogamy through marriage as viewed through a lens of a bona fide people-pleaser who DOESN'T have a convenient monogamy lock-down timer installed in her uterus? Not great, but still a concept worth examining.
2020-03-0949 minThe Beige and The BoldCost of LivingThis could--nay SHOULD--be a straight-up dramatic episode, but instead we get metal parasites and two stories mated as smoothly as the gears in my truck's busted transmission.
I know I talk a lot of trash about the novels, but surely in the novels Lwaxana and Alexander had a bit more of a relationship with each other. Granted, if they did Deep Space Nine would have been different.
Also, props to Derek for calling out two or three episodes. Does the Thomas Riker episode count? Did I miss any?
The Beige and The Bold...2020-03-0248 minThe Beige and The BoldThe First DutyIt's a pretty good Wesley episode. I get how if you already like Wesley, this may feel like a betrayal, but I also see how it could get people who haven't liked Wesley on-side.
For whatever that's worth. I never realized Wesley was in two episodes in season five, zero in season six, and then another two in season seven. Not a bad average.
Does it matter what Picard did? I mean, after watching Star Trek: Picard, I'm not sure if anything Picard has ever done has mattered. But is the noodle incident that Boothby...2020-02-2646 min
The Beige and The BoldCause and EffectIt's an ironic title for an episode in which many things which happen don't cause anything because everyone is stuck in a time loop. Everything causes the destruction of the Enterprise until it causes it not to be destroyed.
It's one of those solid episodes that shows TNG in its stride; characters we know, cool sci-fi concept, and a fun mystery. It's hard to say anything about an episode that's generally good.
Well, it's hard to say anything except, "YOU HAD TIME TO DO BOTH!"
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on...2020-02-0348 min
The Beige and The BoldThe OutcastIt's a heavy one that's got no time for a b-plot. Derek and I cover a LOT of "The Outcast"'s messages. Trans allegories, homosexual allegories, definitions of gender, societal callousness, social control, bullying...we didn't get deep on any one thing, but if there's something we didn't touch on, please let us know.
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST. Mostly.2020-01-2749 minThe Beige and The BoldEthicsWorf and Crusher can carry an episode and while I think this episode generally gets stuck in the front of the middle of the pack when people think back on TNG, that's a shame. They've got good throughlines and McFadden and Dorn nail it. I'm glad that the series takes a look back at this episode in "Parallels."
This is where I usually ask a question, but I can't think of too many that don't directly lead into workshopping policy on assisted suicide. How were your holidays? This is our first episode produced wholly in 2020 and I...2020-01-2049 min
The Beige and The BoldPower PlayIt's a big action scene episode with no idea in it, but it's clever and tense and I had no idea what was going to happen next. Not every episode of Star Trek should be like this, but I'm glad we get these sometimes.
I just love that Marina Sirtis and Brent Spiner get to do stuff like this that's so different than their regular characters. It's a shame that "Captain Schumar" has so much more character and presence than Troi does; it drives home how little Sirtis gets to work with.
If Star Trek...2020-01-1348 min
The Beige and The BoldConundrum Deja VuEverything is kind of familiar in this one. Don't know why.
MacDuff seems sketchy.
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST2020-01-0648 min
The Beige and The BoldHeart of Stone, with Dr. IzixsIn memory of Aron Eisenberg and René Auberjonois, I'm watching an episode of Deep Space Nine as a one-off. It's a landmark episode and probably too good to watch on a lark, but it's clearly worth it.
I'm watching this episode with my friend Dr. Izixs. He's a fellow Star Trek veteran and was kind enough to help me out with this.
I'll say it, even though the character of Spock was a landmark, I sincerely believe that Odo was Star Trek's best outsider character. I don't think he ever completes his arc the way S...2019-12-1646 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Masterpiece SocietyDo they ever get it right? Someone else who has watched the whole series; do they ever get it right by Geordi? I'm thinking and I can't come up with even one episode in this series where they do it. Maybe season three's "The Enemy"?
Anyway, "The Masterpiece Society" is a fun little episode, even if it lacks some action and the romance doesn't work and the science is shaky. This season has so many good episodes that being lackluster is damning in comparison.
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is...2019-12-0950 min
The Beige and The BoldViolationsAs a warning, this episode is about sexual assault and we discuss sexual assault.
This episode is like a version of Star Trek created by xenophobes, bigots, and nativists, using sexual assault as a way to vilify The Other. From the fear and hesitance of the crew to the fact that the answer was accusing the alien newcomers to how Worf gets to beat up a guy and Picard is too sensitive to actually take reasonable actions against the Ullians.
Forget your doubts about The Animated Series and Season 2's "Unnatural Selection," any Star Trek...2019-12-0248 min
The Beige and The BoldHero WorshipIt's another workhorse episode with a lot heart and some good ideas that doesn't really get its due.
Anyway, I know the novels probably do more with him, but Timothy Vico probably gets thrown on the pile of forgotten kids with Barash and Jeremy Aster. Is that better than the fates of Lal and Ian Troi? Is it better storytelling? I've been watching The Good Place lately and it's a show that keeps a lot of unimportant details and times unexplored. There's a lot of room for fanfiction in there is what I'm saying and maybe these k...2019-11-2647 minThe Beige and The BoldNew GroundWe picked a heck of a week to make jokes about war crimes.
In that we allow our cast to be flawed, we have to make them into 20th Century people, which includes a set of 20th Century social assumptions. Could we have this series without flawed characters? Could our main cast just be a Greek chorus to frame the adventures of other, flawed people from other planets?
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST.2019-11-1848 minThe Beige and The Bold17 to 01: The Undiscovered CountryAs a capstone for The Original Series and its crew--
RAND IS BACK! This is her biggest role post-TOS and it's good to see her again.
Also, a movie happens.
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST.2019-11-111h 50
The Beige and The BoldA Matter of TimeDerek and I talk about redstone missiles, predestination paradoxes, and global warming a bit (It's real! We caused it! It's bad!). We get to see a Picard speech that doesn't get enough acclaim, either because the story almost immediately undercuts it or because it just doesn't work.
Between the hair and the coat and the pocket-sized spaceship that can travel in time, the Rick Sanchez parallels jumped out at me on this one and I can't put them to bed. So I put out into the universe: "Berlinghoff and Wesley," written by Dan Harmon and Wil Wheaton.2019-11-1147 min
The Beige and The BoldUnification, Pt III know it's "Grammaton Cleric," but I can' t just stop an episode to make pedantic corrections about 2002 cult films. There are TV shows from 1991 that require our full attention.
What *does* happen here doesn't happen to any great effect and even Leonard Nimoy can' t save it from just being "meh."
But Data did the Vulcan thing. That's cool.
Hypothetically.
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST.2019-10-2848 min
The Beige and The BoldUnification, Pt IHonestly, I'd feel more comfortable sending kids to Romulus. Spy kids.
For an episode with Spock, there's not a lot of Spock. And speaking of Star Trek episodes without a lot of Star Trek, I also feel like we haven't gotten a strong idea or moral principle lately. Derek and I are just crackin' jokes instead of engaging in some elevated discourse because...we're just not seeing any. Is that fair for the first stretch of Season 5 or are we just getting complacent? I'm sorry if we are; we're stretching for the meatier content.
I...2019-10-2146 min
The Beige and The BoldThe GameThe big irony of this episode is how quick people are to chalk this one up as another story where Wesley saves the ship but it's actually another episode where the writers press the "Data" button and the goal is to summon the android who can do anything so he can solve everything.
Saying this is another episode where Wesley saves the ship is like saying any silver-age Superman story is one where Jimmy saves the day because he has the supersonic watch.
Anyway, is this episode prescient about World of Warcraft just because its w...2019-10-1448 min
The Beige and The BoldDisasterRiker: Can save Earth.
Riker's legs: Can save the Enterprise.
Does it work though? Does Troi's throughline work? Are her stakes real?
The Beige and The Bold is hosted on Anchor and is available on most podcasting platforms. New episodes go live on Sunday nights at 10:00 PM CST.2019-10-0747 minThe Beige and The BoldSilicon Avatar*Turns number under the sign that says "Days since android racism" to 0*
We reintroduce the Crystalline Entity, then shatter it quite expertly this week.
2019-09-3048 min
The Beige and The BoldEnsign RoI'm amazed that Picard's stupid jacket didn't immediately torpedo this sensitive diplomatic mission. But I'm glad we got Ro out of all of this.
And Deep Space Nine.
I didn't realize how the Iran/Iraq War and the Soviet/Afghan war ran almost contemporaneously for almost the entirety of the 80's. Lockerbie was in '88 and I was way off with the Beirut barracks bombing happening in '83, almost eight years before this episode.
Still though, what could this series could have done with its main characters to make them more interesting, even i...2019-09-2347 min
The Beige and The BoldDarmokI don't know why Picard has this stupid jacket because it's stupid.
The Tamarians are pretty cool guys and it's implied that they're comparable in technological ability to The Federation. Are the Children of Tama another large, star-spanning polity which influences and is influenced by its neighbors? My personal model of Star Trek has been that these types of heterogeneous entities are the only type which can achieve a certain level of stellar progress before they collapse.
It was off-camera, but does our chanting for Riker to put Picard into danger because it supports the va...2019-09-1648 min
The Beige and The BoldRedemption, Part IIWe're getting right back into it. Nonsense Data storylines. Tasha Yar baby mama drama. Worf being a huge nerd. The gang is all here, except for Doctor Pulaski.
We often talk about how this show transcends its limitations and it does not do that here. I'd say that this was as good a galaxy-spanning political drama could get within the confines of Star Trek: The Next Generation except for the fact that they burned four scenes on a Data story instead of doing anything with Worf.
Man, if only Star Trek could do galaxy-spanning politics...2019-09-0948 minThe Beige and The BoldSeason 4 SupplementalWe’ve come so far, and got so far, but in the end…it was really, really far. I don’t have a head for lyrics.
We look forward, I talk a bit about ruts versus grooves and Derek speculates on Season Five. We’re considering a number of changes for when we get back from the hiatus. I’m going to be studying the production stuff more thoroughly than I have been. I’ll be digging a bit deeper on guest stars, and I’ll try to come up with a few more format-disrupting ideas to mix things up. ...2019-09-0858 minThe Beige and The BoldSolo Session: Black Mirror's USS CallisterUnedited, slightly incoherent, and mostly redundant, The Beige and The Bold Solo Sessions are episodes where I run through a show without Derek.
To break tradition somewhat I’m going to be watching the much-touted episode of Black Mirror, “USS Callister.” I watched “Bandersnatch” before and was a bit disappointed. I’ll be honest: Black Mirror has been nothing if not consistent for me. Are these episodes really the best the series has to offer? I keep hearing good things, but I’m not interested in a pointless, techno-scare circle-jerk.2019-09-081h 15The Beige and The BoldRedemption, Part II feel strongly that “Shut up, Toral” should replace “Shut up, Wesley” as one of TNG’s bedrock memes. I get that he’s a victim in all of these power games to some extent and that he has mentors who refuse to help him understand his situation because they’re using him as a means unto an end.
But shut up, Toral.
I’ll try to make fewer “Game of Thrones” jokes in part two, I swear, but while “Redemption” is an oft-overlooked episode, it laid down so much that Deep Space Nine did structurally and canonical...2019-09-0850 minThe Beige and The BoldIn TheoryI wanted to go deeper on impostor syndrome in relationships, but we covered it well enough. What I can’t get over is the B-plot here.
I’m sorry, “the bull**** plot here.” On the one hand, I’m angry the space/time bubbles aren’t explained better, on the other I’d be furious if they wasted time on doing that. It’s no “garbage scow that’s immune to physics,” but it’s a terrible plotline.
It’s gotta be top ten worst, right?2019-09-0849 minThe Beige and The BoldThe Mind's Eye“The Mind’s Eye” is a pretty straightforward episode. There’s not a big idea and or real character moment. Things happen in it, but they’re good things that drive a clear, well-developed plot.
It turns out that triangulation is really complicated. To the point that there’s also a thing called trilateration, which I don’t have time to read the wiki on. I haven’t really read up on them, but I’m willing to believe any number of data points Lieutenant Commander Data needs to find a signal source .
I feel like we skipped ove...2019-09-0848 minThe Beige and The BoldThe HostWe’re back after a little break with a classic episode.
There’s a lot to unpack with this one, and even if the lesson seems lost on some of the production staff, we try to stay focused on the most culturally relevant takeaway.
Also, it was Tiresias. He was apparently a dick to some mating snakes and Hera made him a woman as punishment.
I’ve made my fair share of "Trill are different" jokes, but is it a big deal that the Trill, like the Cardassians, vary a bit from their original...2019-09-0853 minThe Beige and The BoldQpidThis one got me thinking about Star Trek and fanfiction. I don’t judge Star Trek fanfiction, mainly because I make improvisational Star Trek fanfiction every week with my friend Derek under the presumption it will amuse other people. Also because Star Trek’s ability to inspire people is part of its strength. And yet…
I feel like there’s a transition from when a show is true to its premise and fights hard to establish its characters to when it feels established enough to take itself less seriously. TNG goes from “Symbiosis” to “Qpid.” Deep Space Nine goes from “If...2019-09-0848 minThe Beige and The BoldThe DrumheadWe lost the tape.
We’ve got so many twists and turns in the reasoning behind this one. Ironically, this was recorded at the height of the fervor over the Mueller Investigation and so there’s a lot to uncover in terms of “what makes an investigation legitimate”? We could have gotten deeper into it, but like most of TNG’s good episodes, there’s a lot to discuss.
I guess, to get a bit political, it is weird how much the warnings about villains appearing to be good people has turned policies intended for the common goo...2019-09-0847 minThe Beige and The BoldThe Nth DegreeIt’s another Barclay episode. It’s great to see the range of Dwight Schultz, even if our leads get warped a bit to make it work. Is it necessary for shows to have bad guys and good guys? Is it necessary just for episodic shows like The Next Generation?2019-09-0851 min
The Beige and The BoldIdentity CrisisHonestly, “Identity Crisis” is so solid it’s hard to talk about. In retrospect, we spend a lot of time nitpicking here, but at least we didn’t talk about using Troi more.
The thing about “Identity Crisis” is that it’s an episode which has some of the series’ most intriguing unanswered questions. I don’t mean that in terms of not explaining motivations which stretch our understanding of how the universe works (“Why did they do that?”), but instead it asks us to build on the universe with the implications of its story (“What kind of life form would reprod...2019-09-0748 min
The Beige and The BoldNight TerrorsThere are so many thing this episode does almost right. I mean, I love it. It’s the kind of ensemble show Star Trek: the Next Generation can be and that is when it’s at its best.
Maybe it’s just me, but as I get older I see a more paternalistic/authoritarian ideology behind the love of Picard. He’s the sort of morally pure authority figure that justifies his position as the Enterprise’s “ultimate decider.” Even his open leadership style is an example of him allowing others to speak.
I see the obvious adva...2019-09-0746 min
The Beige and The BoldGalaxy's ChildSometimes, a story–whether it’s a movie, a book, or an episode of television–is so bad you don’t know where to start. Sometimes it so so bad that you can start at the start and ride it all the way through to the end.
If that wasn’t clear, “Galaxy’s Child” is one of those stories. When the episode literally says the lesson, but then rewards a character for refusing to learn that lesson, your Aesop is broken.
I can’t think of an episode of The Next Generation where the illustrated lesson i...2019-09-0747 min
The Beige and The BoldFirst ContactWhat I’m trying to say is that we appreciate Lanel’s initiative and drive. They are virtues, and they’re rare ones. Just not virtues in a biblical sense, I guess.
We gloss over a lot of this episode and that’s probably because it’s such a solid, meat-and-potatoes episode. It covers the balance of conservative and progressive thought, mass hysteria, and the problems that we as a people face with the possibility of encountering extraterrestrial intelligence.
Also, I don’t mean to dismiss all unexplained phenomenon out of hand. I remember something about lights o...2019-09-0747 min
The Beige and The BoldCluesIt’s a solid episode and we’re being mean. It’s not “about” anything in the Star Trek sense.
We don’t have a debate about whether Data’s loyalty to Picard is based on its own merits or obedience to the chain of command. We don’t discuss the ramifications of keeping the existence of a dangerous planet hidden, of how Starfleet can’t keep this secret, or of how Ensign Jeffers on Deck 21 won’t consent to have his memories wiped and will hide a note in a bulkhead.
I believe Derek was talking about Elron...2019-09-0748 min
The Beige and The BoldDevil's DueNo surprise this one was a reworked Phase II story, which I’m surprised that I–having read the Phase II scripts–didn’t catch. It makes a lot of sense when you view this through the lens of The Original Series. Or maybe just through the lens of TOS’ lowered expectations.
Making legal quibbles might be criticizing deck chair colors on a sinking ship, but that’s my specialty. They call “jury trials” “jury trials,” but they call “judge trials” just “trials" or "bench trials." That’s my only point–THEY HAD A JAG OFFICER IN SEASON TWO!
This episo...2019-09-0747 minThe Beige and The BoldThe WoundedIt's a good 'un. I don't really know what else we could say?2019-09-0750 min
The Beige and The BoldGuest Episode: The WoundedIt’s a Chief O’Brien episode about passion and reason and pain and understanding. It cuts to the quick because the pain from Bob Gunton as Captain Maxwell is very grounded. It’s a weighty episode and it works.
While TNG has flirted with continuity before, “The Wounded” feels like a moment where it really begins to spread the black wings of “Last time, on Star Trek,” and commits the franchise to creating The TNG Era of Star Trek. Or am I being dramatic?
Also, I was 100% wrong about the ending of X-Men sharing a line with this...2019-09-0746 minThe Beige and The BoldData's DayDerek and I finally do Data's Day. It's a heck of an episode that has so much of what it is that people love about TNG.2019-09-0749 min
The Beige and The BoldGuest Episode: Data's DayIt’s finally “Data Has Feelings but The Writers Won’t Acknowledge It: The Episode.”
“Data’s Day” is such a good slice of life episode. There’s the phenomenon where some folks who grew up with The Next Generation credit it for being a family to them when their upbringings didn’t give them a family. No episode shows that as well as this one.
I gripe about continuity, then turn around and demand better characterization. I think “Data’s Day” beautifully exemplifies how those two things, when they’re done well, go together. The touches that include thin...2019-09-0745 min
The Beige and The BoldBrotherWe’re finally out of the war and Star Trek: Discovery has set a completely different tone with Science Officer Douchenozzle, Engineer Barzan Lady, and Captain Cool Dad.
Derek and I both were hoping for a season with a little more focus than the last, but it looks like Captain Cool Dad was right, “if you don’t get your expectations up, you can’t be disappointed.” On the other hand, we give the complete absence of first-Klingon-in-Starfleet Voq nineteen Klingon chromosomes out of twenty three.
Are we asking too much of this show? I feel like I’...2019-09-071h 04
The Beige and The BoldThe LossWe forgot to do this one a few weeks ago, but we’re up to speed now. Derek and I talk about the trinity of wasted potential in this episode, say a few words about its merits, remind everyone that Guinan has a Schlorblax in psychology, and pitch the greatest episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation since Season 8.
We’ve talked before about the fine line between remembering that Geordi is disabled and basing his character on it. Is wanting him to play a larger part of that episode leaning on that second half? I didn’t feel t...2019-09-0647 minThe Beige and The BoldFinal MissionI know a lot of these episodes are just delivery mechanisms for Patrick Stewart to give a speech, but we need to aim a little higher than “Final Mission.” We deserved–
Wil Wheaton deserved more than a flimsy B-plot separating him from the Enterprise while he went through the motions of an A-plot until Patrick Stewart could act a goodbye at him.
And then, after decades of Star Trek trying to use real physics, they ignore Newton’s First Law to make one story happen and use magical bullshit for the other one.
I get angri...2019-09-0649 minThe Beige and The BoldFuture ImperfectIn talking with Derek, he says that nothing happens in this episode. Given the multi-tiered nature of this story and its fiction-within-fiction, is it fair to mention that there’s a third layer where none of Star Trek actually happens?
If Borash came up again, would this story be more relevant?
I have a healthy disdain for continuity, but I think he’s right. Even when the literal events don’t happen, Star Trek usually shows us an idea, or a character, or a moral paradigm that are real. The ideas are real, as Benny Russell m...2019-09-0648 min
The Beige and The BoldGuest Episode: Future ImperfectMan, Riker’s head is kind of terrifying. Or maybe I should say that the way the writers picture us picturing the inside of Riker’s head is terrifying.
Kuhan’s website is http://iamkuhan.com/ and he can also be found on Twitter at https://twitter.com/kuhan. The alternate episode with Derek is here: http://www.vanvelding.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Future-Imperfect.mp32019-09-0646 minThe Beige and The BoldReunionDerek and I talk about the one where Worf learns that he is a dad and Picard chooses, admittedly by default, the new Chancellor of the Klingon High Council.2019-09-0648 min
The Beige and The BoldGuest Episode: ReunionThis episode is a little different: Worf gets a kid. It changes a lot of things and it’s really scary for everyone, but luckily, it’s forgotten by the next episode.
I gripe about post-Season 2 TNG, but I feel like this one really hit all the goalposts for being intelligent, emotional, action-packed, and having a science fiction idea buried in there (someone’s arm, specifically).
I assume could K’Ehleyr have survived? Should Alexander have stayed around? For being such a big deal, there are no actual consequences for the immediate future.
Jay Donks i...2019-09-0649 min
The Beige and The BoldRemember MeI don’t mean to seem ungrateful because no sooner do we start getting Troi doing her job than Wesley’s throughline starts unraveling. Really? “See past the numbers”?
Are the crew justified in assuming that everyone from Tau Alpha C is a Traveler? It always seemed like a really big jump. I get that it’s far away, but it seems like they’re adding dragons to a place on the map because they haven’t been there yet.2019-09-0647 min
The Beige and The BoldLegacyI usually bring up when TNG goes for some of the harder-edged stuff folks accuse it of never going for, but while this one has some real elbows out, it feels softer-edged than other instances and I don’t know why.
We need to stop catsuits and start bras. When Carrie Fisher died, lots of newspapers reported that she wanted her death reported as “drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra” because of a ridiculous conversation she had with George Lucas about there being no bras in Star Wars.
Wookiepedia says differently, of course: http://s...2019-09-0648 min
The Beige and The BoldSuddenly HumanWe don’t mention it in the episode, but I think the internal contradiction of xenophobia and taking alien babies is an internal contradiction that makes the Telarians a little more real. What it is that separates that from inconsistent characterization of an alien culture is something I can’t define.
This is definitely one of the weakest episodes of season four, but that conversation between Picard and Troi is a shining beacon of humor and characterization.
My one gripe is making Picard such a singular figure in Starfleet. Do you prefer Picard be a guy wh...2019-09-0647 minThe Beige and The BoldBrothersDoctor Soong is the worst.2019-09-0647 min
The Beige and The BoldFamilyCan we count this as Star Trek’s first three-parter? It’s like the third part of the foundation that makes the most celebrated parts of the Star Trek franchise going forward. I rail against the continuity, but it’s clearly one of the parts of Trek that people look forward to.
They call up Wil Wheaton to do an acting exercise, Picard is cool as heck, and we learn that Worf apparently shares parents with Mike Warner. It’s a good ‘un.
“Captain Riker, Ambassador Picard”: Good idea or bad idea?2019-09-0546 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Best of Both Worlds, Part IIWe talk about the character work, Riker’s command decisions, and maneuver naming conditions. Some of that is really good and some of it is disappointing.
I don’t question it because it smooths the rough edges of the narrative, but Derek has a point about making Worf Riker’s executive officer instead of Shelby. Shelby’s great and all, but if something happened to Riker, you’d want someone who knows the crew.
Also, we get the Borg queen presaged. I mean, insect queens don’t really issue commands as much as they act as a unique and...2019-09-0549 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: The KillersAll the murder doesn't work, so Reileen tries the revolutionary futuristic technique of ASKING HER BROTHER TO MAKE A CHOICE!
Also, I'm looking forward to Altered Carbon, Season 2: Chronicles of Lizzy.2019-09-0549 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Rage in HeavenThis mystery reveal is--I'll say it--perfect. It's good and confident and it deserves its confidence.
I mean, as far as Reileen's plans go...I feel I need to point out that they are...sub-optimal.2019-09-0551 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Clash by NightHow is Ortega this not-smart? Maybe it explains why she lost her arm.
Have I talked about Reileen's plans and how good they are?2019-09-0550 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Nora InuI want to see the CTAC propaganda erotica. Not for personal reasons, as a purely academic interest.
Reileen's plans continue to make no goddamned sense.2019-09-051h 04
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Man With My FaceI wish it had been Ortega's mom.2019-09-0543 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: The Wrong ManI didn't write blurbs for these episodes back when I made them and I barely remember them so I needed something for the blurb.
But I also needed to know if I edited out the dirty words for Anchor, but the near-instant use of and oft-repetition of the phrase "pumpin' Ortega," fulfilled both of my needs.2019-09-0551 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Force of EvilRaaaaaaaaampage!!!
When you have a character who is a badass killing machine, you want to set up a scenario when they’re allowed to go all-out. Maybe not on the cogs in the wheel of an unjust system. The cogs Kovachs just gunned down in the corridors.
What’s interesting about media is that characters are rarely called upon to make the banal moral compromises most of us have to to pay rent. So when our dude starts killing every minimum wage worker and middle-manager trying to get by in a world run by disengaged Methus...2019-09-0547 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: In a Lonely PlaceTwo people fight to the death and I’m still fighting a hardcore case of yawns here. This episode’s central theme is that the wealthy are corrupt, but it can’t even draw a clear bead on that point and fire. It’s allegory that fails to link its allegory–the long life of the Methuselahs–with what it represents–obscene wealth and the detachment it brings.
Also, there aren’t enough frowny faces on the emoji menu of your keyboard to express my disappointment with the Kovachs-sleeps-with-Miriam plot. It just fizzles out and it’s not no one gives, a...2019-09-0550 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Fallen AngelMan, does this title even work? In that everyone in this setting is pretty damn fallen, it’s not really–oooh, it’s probably about the girl who fell into the lake from the cloud layer and died.
I’m doing these solo now and I’m doing my best. I have a lot of questions and a lot of speculation. Is Abboud having sex with Ortega’s mom?
…other questions.
The mystery itself is going to plod along and I expect it will unfurl alongside the setting. The video version of this episode can be fou...2019-09-0454 min
The Beige and The BoldBlood and Chrome: Out of the PastDuring our break, The Beige and The Bold is going to watch Netflix’s Altered Carbon, a ten part series which explores a future world in which human consciousness can be reduced to an electronic signal and stored in devices called a stack. In an inversion of our usual roles, Derek has seen Altered Carbon and I have not.
We cover a lot of stuff and I freely admit I’m one of those guys who’s a bit prickly when they’re not on familiar ground. My initial impression of Altered Carbon is that it has a lot of...2019-09-0457 minThe Beige and The BoldSeason 3 SupplementalWe get right into it in this season’s supplemental, rolling from the season three finale right into:
-The Question
-Season 3 versus Seasons 1 and 2.
-What we’re doing during the interregnum.
-YouTube, sound quality, iTunes, and listener feedback.
-Characters and characterization.
I’m serious about podcast recommendations. Maybe I’m a bad participant in the podcasting community because I listen to Writing Excuses and…nothing else. Given that my music playlist is getting a bit stale, I’m wide open for suggestions. Anything else we’re missing though? We do this ca...2019-09-0346 minThe Beige and The BoldSolo Session: Yesterday's EnterpriseIt’s weird for me to say right out of the box that something is overrated and then to laud it for forty minutes, but there we are. If nothing else, it’s a satisfying episode, like a Saturday afternoon earned after a particularly hard week. It’s a lot of reward, not for anything unpleasant, but it’s gratifying, like a pizza after a strict diet.
I’m not trying to make the rest of The Next Generation sound like a chore; it’s just that it’s a responsible, restrained show that’s got all kinds of ideology...2019-09-0345 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Best of Both Worlds, Part IIt's done.
It's hard to say anything about what might be–as a Deep Space Nine fan–the greatest multi-part Star Trek story ever told. Star Trek: The Next Generation is creating something here.2019-09-0344 min
The Beige and The BoldThe Most ToysThis is another one of Season 3’s signature solid episodes. I think it’s a bit underrated by the fan base, honestly. Maybe because the stylistic choices are so bold it gets cringey for some folks. Honestly, this thing gets high marks for me for conflict, villain, universe building, continuity, and characterization. It tells us so many things about all of the working parts in it that the worst criticism I can give it is that it’s not longer.
The auction house I was thinking of was Christie’s. I don’t feel bad for blanking; I mean, who...2019-09-0350 min
The Beige and The BoldAllegianceThis one’s got Libertarian jokes and pacifist jokes in it because we are both fair and balanced and neither Libertarians nor pacifists. “Allegiance” isn’t bad; it just fails to be inspiring and is another in a long line of episodes that are about Picard, but don’t need to be.
I also have to apologize because it was only during editing that I realized I missed a long line of “you might be a Libertarian if…” jokes. I’m sure we’ll get to them.
Finally, I want to introduce everyone to my son, Applied Research...2019-09-0248 min
The Beige and The BoldThe DefectorThere have been good episodes of TNG up until now. But I strongly feel like The Defector is our first Hot Damn episode of TNG. It’s not ‘every frame a painting’ good, but it’s a lean 45 minutes of television and it’s gripping. There’s no personal tsuris about–I don’t know–Troi grappling with drug use or Crusher having trouble at home. There’s no lagniappe drama; there’s no small, personal bullshit or character arc that Jarok’s mission folds neatly into.
Again, I kinda freewheel about what I’m going to call “VanVelding’s Starflee...2019-09-0247 minThe Beige and The BoldWhere Silence Has LeaseThe actual narrative is so short here, I wish for a better B-plot. I feel we learn nothing, the crew learns nothing, and nothing actually happens. It’s just a bunch of filmmakers asking if they’ve blown our minds yet. We’ve had worse stories, but nothing that’s really felt so amateurish.
Speaking of amateurs, on September 10th Derek and I will be streaming as we watch six episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, “The Dauphin,” “Contagion,” “The Royale,” “Time Squared,” “The Icarus Factor,” and “Pen Pals.” I tried to get the biggest streak of bad episodes possible.
...2019-08-2348 minThe Beige and The BoldHaven Man, we messed up badly on this one. Auntie Mame was a novel before it was a movie, not a play. Gene Roddenberry’s right-hand man was Maurice Hurley, who hadn’t even joined the series at this point. Troi is empathic, not telepathic.
I think Derek even called Picard “Riker” somewhere in there.
Nailed that “Take On Me” reference though. This is a fun episode that–new agey stuff aside–doesn’t let go of serious themes like social pressure, the adult/parent relationship, and ladies with cheese-grater abs.
I hope you forgive us of the short...2019-08-2050 min