Vicki Smith - Podcast Details

Shows

Power to the PleasersThe Fresh Princess of Authenticity: Liz Wilcox on the Freedom to Be YourselfEpisode Summary: We have a guest today - Liz Wilcox. Survivor contestant, Online Business Entrepreneur and genuinely funny human. The reason I’m super excited about this conversation is that Liz is one of those rare, real people who isn’t afraid to show up as her true self. And being in the online business building world, that is a breath of fresh air - which is why I call her the Fresh Princess of Authenticity - whoo hooo the 90s rule! She lets the people in her world see her exactly as she is...2024-10-2438 min

Power to the PleasersThe Real Reason You're Stuck: Why Confidence Feels So Out of ReachIf you've ever felt like confidence is just out of reach no matter how many self-help books you read or how often you try to "fake it 'til you make it," you're not alone. This episode dives deep into why building real, rooted confidence isn't about just gritting your teeth and forcing yourself through discomfort. Instead, it’s about understanding your body’s natural response to fear and learning how to work with it—not against it. Key Takeaways: The Comfort Zone Cycle: We all love our comfort zones, but they’re also what keeps us f...2024-10-0917 min

Power to the PleasersThe Dance of Change: From Playing It Safe to Showing Up FullyHave you ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle of playing it safe? This episode dives deep into that feeling and how we can move through it. We start with a quote that many of us can relate to: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." – Anais Nin If you’re feeling that itch to break out of your comfort zone, especially in your relationships, this one's for you. Whether it’s people-pleasing, perfectioni...2024-09-2622 min

Power to the PleasersThe Key to Clear Decision-Making: Listen to Your BodyIn this episode, we're diving into something that's truly life-changing: connecting to your truth by tuning into your body. When you're stuck in the back-and-forth of a tough decision—especially when you really want to say "no" but fear, obligation, or guilt are pushing you to say "yes"—knowing what your body is signaling can clear up that confusion in a heartbeat. Imagine this: What if you could sense in your body whether something is right for you? What if you had the answer inside you all along? What if you could make decisions with almo...2024-09-1223 min

Power to the PleasersValues vs Validation - How to shift from people pleasing to authenticityToday, we're diving deep into the people-pleasing trap and how it pulls us away from living in alignment with our true values. If you've ever found yourself saying "yes" when you really wanted to say "no," this episode is for you. What makes this worth listening to: Understanding where our people-pleasing tendencies come from and how they take over our decision-making process. How constantly trying to fit in and make others happy can lead us away from our core values and create a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction. How using your values as a template can h...2024-08-2818 min

Power to the PleasersFrom Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence - The benefits of using the 8 C's of Internal Family SystemsIn this episode, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provides a step by step approach to connect with our inner selves using eight guiding principles, known as the 8 Cs: Calm, Curiosity, Compassion, Clarity, Creativity, Connection, Courage, and Confidence. What makes this episode worth listening to: The Importance of a Strong Foundation: Achieving true calm and confidence involves more than fleeting moments of these feelings. Without a solid foundation built on all the Cs, you might feel calm or confident, but it's not coming from YOU most likely, but the external...2024-08-1521 min

Power to the PleasersParts Work and Personal Growth: How IFS Can Help You Take Things Less PersonallyWhat it’s about: People react to each other—it's just how things go. Most of us are bumping up against others, unconsciously hoping those bumps won't hurt us or them because we don’t like conflict or tension. But here’s the deal: we are acting like feeling tension warrants going into survival mode. It doesn’t. And there is another way to work with the fear of upsetting someone. It's parts work. In this episode, we'll dive into Internal Family Systems (IFS) to understand not only what is going on under the...2024-07-0327 min

Power to the PleasersHow to bust through your boundary setting blocks - (Hint: get good at feeling uncomfortable)Today I am talking about the main thing that keeps people pleasers and perfectionists from setting boundaries – fear! I am going to walk you through a mindfulness practice to help you feel more relaxed as you can build the courage to confidently set boundaries and say “no” when you need to. Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop letting fear get in the way of not only boundary setting, but pretty much anything that stops you in your tracks. In this episode: Debunking a common myth about boundaries How awar...2024-05-2224 min

Power to the PleasersDon't get caught in their drama - How to interact with an emotionally immature personBeing in a relationship with an emotionally immature parent/person has its challenges. We often feel worn out after interactions because we are doing all the emotional heavy lifting. Let’s give you a break from this weight workout. Today I share how we can take the lead in these interactions and preserve our energy when and if we are around these folks. Also discussed in this episode: How to let go of the fantasy of the other person changing. Two skills that will keep you from getting caught in their emotional dra...2024-02-0734 min

Power to the PleasersHow Emotionally Immature Parents and People Pleasing go togetherOur parents are the ones who taught us how to be in the world. How to interact with other people. The rules of life if you will. We gotta take them into account when we get curious about how we became pleasers and perfectionists. Not to blame them, but to get a holistic understanding of our relationship patterns. In this series I break down Emotionally Immature Parenting so you get a chance to understand some significant influences in our relationship development. This episode is the eye opening one. I lay it all out...2024-01-3033 min

Power to the PleasersWhere it all began - HOW we became people pleasersPleasers and perfectionists can have this admirable quality of being super understanding and giving people the benefit of the doubt. And…it can become a not-so-great-quality if we don’t keep it in check. It can make us very tired and pretty resentful. In this episode I go back a little bit to our kidhood and explore where our try-try-try efforting in relationships began. Also discussed in this episode: The common denominator in all our relationships. An unconscious mantra I want you to walk away from right now! How dog trai...2024-01-1725 min

Power to the PleasersBoundaries for the Holidays - The perfect gift for the pleaser in you!The season of giving is here! And how ironic for a people pleaser because we give all year long! So what do we do to curb this natural tendency to keep on giving? Boundaries my friend. Boundaries make us more merry as we move into the holidays. In this episode I share a guest episode where I talked with my friend Lauren Wolfe on her show Your Zen Friend all about holiday boundaries. You can find out all about Lauren on the July 11th episode on Tapping or in the links below! 2023-12-1942 min

Power to the PleasersHow to REBEL as a people pleaserPeople pleasers are famous for making OTHERS lives great. What about OUR lives though? We’ve learned to dismiss our natural human physical symptoms of what makes us happy. We have lost touch with ourselves, and I am here to re-connect you! In this episode I give you an easy exercise that will help guide you back to what feels comfortable and life giving for YOU! Remembering yourself is our own people pleaser and perfectionistic version of RESISTANCE! Also discussed in this episode: How to tell if something is satisfying or out of a...2023-12-0523 min

Power to the PleasersHow not to be so hard on yourselfIn this episode we discuss the 3 highlights of how perfectionists see the world. These are the main components that keep our perfectionistic thinking revved up and ready to get that insane to-do list DONE! We also get into the frustrating qualities that keep us lost in the constant hum of perfectionism. Doesn’t that sound like a fun thing to explore! I promise it's necessary and enlightening. FREE gift - a guide to working with the SECRET PART of our personality (to be revealed in the show!) by using IFS questions and inquiries. Als...2023-11-2230 min

Power to the PleasersHaving Fun with Failure - Using Improv to ease (social) anxiety with Murray DabbyWhy would someone who shuts down in a crowd EVER get on stage and speak up? Well, my guest today teaches folks to face this fear and have fun with the imperfect failings that come with doing improv! In this episode I talk with fellow Atlanta psychotherapist Murray Dabby about his group Curtain Up Anxiety Down. Murray Dabby is a community builder, educator, advocate and social therapist. He has founded developed and directs several therapeutic groups that focus on relationship skill-building whether that be The couples college, Atlanta All Star...2023-11-0748 min

Power to the PleasersHow to Listen to Yourself (and figure out what YOU want!)People pleasers are really good at giving other people what they need. And not so great at knowing what they need to feel happy and healthy in their relationships. If you want to say “no” and set boundaries confidently you gotta know where your lines. If you don’t know yourself then your lines are blurry and you will keep this pattern going of tuning in to what is going on OUTSIDE of you instead of taking care of what you are feeling INSIDE. Making this shift to being a boundary badass i...2023-10-2421 min

Power to the PleasersHow People Pleasing and Narcissistic Parents go hand and hand with Taylor DamianiToday Taylor Damiani is here to talk about being a child/adult child of a narcissistic parent. Codependency and perfectionism come from living in a toxic family environment. So does our inner critical voice! This awareness hits close to home for both Taylor and myself. We talk about how understanding narcissism was a relief and helped us to release the burden of needing to prove our worth and hustle to be positively connected to others. Highlights of the episode: Narcissism is not just being controlling and selfish Taylor’s empowering, light bu...2023-10-1036 min

Power to the PleasersWhat is Fawning?Fawning has become a way of explaining a natural nervous system response to conflict, tension and difficult relationships. It’s now considered a trauma response and part of the fight, flight and freeze trio of biological reactions to threat. Join me as I work through my initial resistance to accepting that fawning is more than a defense strategy and how I helped myself and help clients find safety and connection in their bodies, minds and hearts so they can turn down their automatic fawning behaviors. Also discussed in this episode: The origin of...2023-09-1232 min

Power to the PleasersHow to take YOUR power backEver wonder why I call this “Power” to the Pleasers? Today I dive into the personal power and what that specifically means to people pleasers and perfectionists. Join me as we explore how to tune in, turn towards and get curious about your ability to move from being reliant on others for approval! Also discussed in this episode: The qualities you need access to FIRST before you can actually feel powerful Why being in control is not the same as owning your power How knowing yourself is the foundation f...2023-08-2931 min

Power to the PleasersTrusting Yourself and Taking Risks with Jean Sheridan Wellbeing CoachToday I am talking with Jean Sheridan who is a Wellbeing Coach. She had a solo adventure that changed the direction of her life! We focus in on several highlights of her story: how she listened to her intuition which led her to the mind-body connection work she does now; how she was practicing mindfulness before she even knew the word and how she dropped comparison and took a risk to trust herself as she got out of her comfort zone. Join me as we go behind the scenes of Jean’s own inspiring Elizabeth Gil...2023-08-1653 min

Power to the PleasersCreativity and Perfectionism with Jacqui LentsJacqui Lents is a former teacher who now works as a professional writer. Today, Jacqui joins me to talk about how she was able to get through her perfectionism so she could become a professional author. She shares her best tips for working with the inner critic especially around creative projects. She believes creativity can be the cure to perfectionism and I agree! Join Jacqui and I in this informative episode to learn more about moving passed perfectionism and finding your flow. Also Discussed in this Episode: 2023-08-0844 min

Power to the PleasersHow to feel Confident Setting Boundaries - It’s not what you think!Today I am talking about the main thing that keeps people pleasers and perfectionists from setting boundaries – fear! I am going to walk you through a mindfulness practice to help you feel more relaxed as you can build the courage to confidently set boundaries and say “no” when you need to. Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop letting fear get in the way of not only boundary setting, but pretty much anything that stops you in your tracks! In this episode: Debunking a common myth about boundaries How aw...2023-07-2524 min

Power to the PleasersEFT Tapping with Lauren WolfeLauren Wolfe, MS, LPC specializes in treating all aspects of anxiety and anxiety disorders for children, teens and adults. Today, Lauren joins me to talk about using EFT tapping as a form of therapy for managing anxiety and how to practice it. Join Lauren and I in this episode as we break down the benefits of EFT tapping and how it can help people pleasers feel more confident. Also Discussed in this Episode: What is EFT tapping? 3:26 The benefits of tapping and mindfulness 13:01 How EFT can b...2023-07-1148 min

Power to the PleasersTime Management for Pleasers and PerfectionistsToday, I’m talking about time management for people pleasers and perfectionists and why being mindful of your time is so important. I’m also giving you some tips on how you can audit your calendar so you can make sure you’re spending your time wisely. Join me in this episode to learn how you can stop filling your calendar with anything and start really spending your time how you want. Also Discussed in this Episode: Why a mid-year review of calendar can be helpful 4:56 Color coding your calendar 1...2023-06-2731 min

Power to the PleasersFreedom to FailWhat would you do if you couldn’t fail? Today, I’m talking about why so many people pleasers and perfectionists have a fear of failure and how you can stop letting it rule your life and stop you from living. Join me in this episode as I give you some of my tips for using mindfulness to move past your fear of failure and how you can stop letting your fear of shame and discomfort rule your life. Also Discussed in this Episode: Why failure...2023-06-1330 min

Power to the PleasersCreating a Life by Design with Carly PepinHave you ever wished you could overcome your limiting beliefs and live a life of design? Today, I have Human Behavior Specialist Carly Pepin, joining me to talk about how people pleasers can work through conflict and live a life of design that they’re meant for. Having devoted her life to mastering the intricacies of human behavior, Carly empowers others to do the same. Through her expertise, she guides individuals in looking beyond the surface and delving into the core essence of their being. By uncovering and addressing the deeper issue...2023-06-0645 min

Power to the PleasersA Little Bit SelfishAre you a people pleaser who has a fear of being seen as selfish? Today, I’m talking about the topic of selfishness, why so many people pleasers feel shame around the term and how you can remove the shame and set healthy boundaries for yourself. Join me in this episode to learn how you can move past the stigma of being selfish and honor your preferences without feeling guilty or shameful. Also Discussed in this Episode: Why people pleasers have a fear of being seen...2023-05-3016 min

Power to the PleasersThe Cost of Saying YesDo you ever find yourself saying ‘yes’ to situations you don’t want to be in? Or maybe you find yourself saying “what have I gotten myself into?” Today, I’m breaking down the process of the predictable patterns of people pleasers. I’m deep diving into what happens in the mind of a people pleasers when we’re asked to do something that we don’t want to do and how we get caught in a pattern of saying yes. Listen to this episode to learn how you can break your predictable patte...2023-05-2321 min

Power to the PleasersHaving your Own BackAre you nice to yourself? Today, I’m sharing what it means to have your own back and how you can focus more on doing what makes you happy as a people pleaser. Join me in this episode to learn how you can gain more self-compassion, set healthy boundaries and feel less guilt about doing what’s best for you. Also Discussed in this Episode: What it means to have your own back 3:18 How to say no when you’re anxious about saying yes 7:43 Using mindful...2023-05-1620 min

Power to the PleasersWhat People Pleasing has Taught MeToday, I’m sharing some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned throughout my years as a people pleaser and how it has changed my view on relationships and life. Join me in this episode as I share some of my wisdom from my experience as a people pleaser and perfectionist including how I was able to cut back on apologizing so much and why you shouldn’t feel bad about setting boundaries in friendships. Also Discussed in this Episode: What people pleasing has taught me 1:50 Why you should have...2023-05-0922 min

Power to the PleasersWhy You’re no Fun and How to Change thatIs it hard for you to really let loose and have fun? Today, I’m diving into why it’s so hard for people pleasers and perfectionists to let go and have fun. I’m also sharing how you can stop feeling on guard constantly and start focusing on having a good time. Join me in this episode as I offer some advice for getting over your fear of vulnerability so you can have fun and how you can find safe spots for letting loose. Also Discussed in this Epi...2023-05-0231 min

Power to the PleasersEverybody has Boundary Issues with Jeanene Wolfe, LCSWHave you ever wondered what happens inside of the mind of a therapist? Today, I have my friend and fellow therapist, Jeanene Wolfe, joining me to talk about some of the struggles therapists go through and why setting boundaries is so important. Jeanene Wolf is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She also runs CollabOasis, a community for therapists and is the host of the podcast Colleague Down the Hall. Join us in this episode as we offer some helpful tips on how therapists can set and protect their b...2023-04-2539 min

Power to the PleasersThe Difference Between Anxiety and IntuitionWhat’s the difference between anxiety and intuition? Today, I’m sharing more about the difference between the two and how you can use a mindfulness practice to create more peace and relaxation in your mind. Join me to gain insight into how you can practice more mindfulness in your daily life and how you can quiet your anxiety to hear your intuition. Also Discussed in this Episode: How mindfulness relates to anxiety and intuition 2:33 Finding relaxation in your mind 5:11 Practicing mindfulness in your daily life an...2023-04-1827 min

Power to the PleasersWalking Myself through ChangeEveryone wants to change something about themselves, but what happens when you actually have to act on it? Today, I’m sharing a technique with you that will help you break past your fear of change so you can feel less anxiety, more freedom and start doing the things that make you happy. Join me in this episode to learn how you can start caring for yourself first, learn how to say no and stop living small. Also Discussed in this Episode: What stops us from do...2023-04-0428 min

Power to the PleasersEasing your Relationship Anxiety with Kariah PhillipsDo you struggle with your relationships as a people pleaser? Maybe you’re constantly seeking reassurance from your partner. Today, Kariah Phillips joins me to talk about how you can ease your relationships in your relationships. Kariah Phillips is a Clinical Social Worker in the South Sound Region of Washington State. She is a graduate of the School of Social Work at Columbia University and has worked as a therapist since 2007. Kariah’s work focuses on improving relationships by helping individuals manage anxiety. She currently teaches virtual classes about relationship skills and has monthly relationship classes to...2023-03-2838 min

Power to the PleasersKindness is a Pleasers KryptoniteCan you be kinder to yourself? This week on the podcast I’m talking about the third kryptonite for people pleasers and perfectionists: Kindness, both receiving it from others and showing kindness to yourself. I’m also sharing a mindfulness meditation exercise that’s helped me silence my inner critic and show more kindness to myself. Listen to this episode to learn more about why self-compassion can be hard for you if you’re a people pleaser and how you can move past your inner critic. Also Discussed in t...2023-03-2125 min

Power to the PleasersDisappointment is a Pleasers KryptoniteThis week, we’re talking about another kryptonite for people pleasers and perfectionists: disappointment. In this episode, I’m talking about disappointment and the sub feelings that contribute to it which may help you understand why it makes you so uncomfortable. I’m also going over the specific feelings that arise when you're in the midst of disappointment so you can identify it and not be scared of feeling it. Join me today to learn more about your feelings around disappointment and some strategies that will help you move through it. ...2023-03-1424 min

Power to the PleasersAnger is a Pleasers KryptoniteIf you’re a people pleaser, chances are anger isn’t your favorite emotion. Today on the podcast, I’m diving deeper into the emotion of anger and breaking down some of the reasons why you might have such an aversion to anger. Join me in this episode to learn more about your reaction to anger and how you can befriend your inner anger. Also Discussed in this Episode: Why do people pleasers have a hard time with anger? 3:00 How you can make sense of your expre...2023-03-0727 min

Power to the PleasersEverything to EveryoneToday, I'm talking about relationships again and focusing on how you can find your unique way of caring for those close to you as a people pleaser, instead of being everything to everyone. Join me in this episode to learn how you can move past your fear of conflict and find your special way of showing others you care so relationships can stop feeling like work. Also Discussed in this Episode: Fear of conflict 4:00 Finding your unique way of caring 5:49 Just because you want to help doesn't mean you c...2023-02-2817 min

Power to the PleasersA Sneaky Kind of Self-CareIf you’re a perfectionist and a people pleaser you likely have high standards for yourself, which cause you to push yourself too hard and get exhausted. Today, I’m focusing on how high standards are directly tied to perfectionism. I’m also sharing some tips on how you can give yourself more grace and kindness as a people pleaser. Listen to this episode to learn how you can show yourself forgiveness and set the intention to be kind to yourself. Also Discussed in this Episode: Why w...2023-02-2132 min

Power to the PleasersThe Role in RelationshipsThis week, I’m focusing on relationships again and talking about the roles we play in relationships as people pleasers. If you’re a people pleaser, you probably aim to be the supportive, easy-going friend that only offers positive experiences. Sometimes, though, we can overdo the supportive part. Join me in this episode to hear more about the different roles people pleasers can have in friendships and how you can have a healthy friendship without overdoing the supportive part. Also Discussed in this Episode: The 3 roles...2023-02-1427 min

Power to the PleasersWho are your Friends and Why are they your Friends?Have you ever stopped and looked at who’s in your friend group? Maybe you’ve wondered how some of the friends you have got there in the first place. People are becoming more deliberate with who they spend their time and energy on so today, I’m talking about the 3 main elements of friendship and how it can help us see why some of our friends have stuck around for years and why others have never clicked. Join me in this episode to learn how you can really deep dive into your f...2023-02-0729 min

Power to the PleasersHow to Lighten your LoadDo you know that feeling that comes from when you spring clean or clear a space? You might feel lighter or like you can breathe easier. In today’s episode, I’m walking you through an exercise that will help you clear your mind. Join me to learn how you can identify your values, let go of perfectionism and embrace your true self. Also Discussed in this Episode: Getting to know yourself 1:28 30 things about yourself 5:24 Getting down to the basics of what’s important to you 10:57 Fi...2023-01-3122 min

Power to the PleasersHow Relationships WorkHave you ever wondered why you are the way you are? Or how your early relationships may have influenced you to become a perfectionist and a pleaser? In this week’s episode, I’m sharing some foundational elements of relationship building that may shine a light on why you’re a perfectionist today. I’m also sharing the different types of attachment personalities. Join me in this episode to learn more about attachment and the link between how you were raised and your perfectionist patterns. Also Discussed in this Episode...2023-01-2429 min

Power to the PleasersFitting in vs. BelongingHave you ever felt like you really belonged? In this week’s episode, I’m diving into the difference between belonging and fitting in and exploring why as a people pleaser or perfectionist you may feel like you are fitting in but what you really want is to belong. Join me to hear how you can find your own group of people that truly accept you and how you can stop trying to prove your worth and earn your place. Also Discussed in this Episode: The diffe...2023-01-1726 min

Power to the PleasersThe Feeling of Self TrustPeople pleasers and perfectionists don’t trust themselves. Today, I’m sharing some of what causes your self-trust issues and why trying to earn approval and acceptance from others isn’t really getting you what you want in the long run. Join me in this episode as I share my list of what self-trust looks like so you can start listening to yourself and start feeling safe and steady inside. Also Discussed in this Episode: When we feel safe around someone, we trust them 4:30 Why being the...2023-01-1026 min

Power to the PleasersDoubt is Wearing you OutAre you sick of nagging thoughts of not being good enough or worst case scenarios running through your mind? In today's episode, I’m sharing with you some practical tips and actions you can use to get past those negative thoughts and beliefs you have plaguing your mind so you can use your mind for good. Also Discussed in this Episode: Your thoughts and beliefs and how you manage them 12:22 Why you should question the stories you tell yourself 14:46 What are you telling yourself that helps you unravel? 19:52 How to...2023-01-0529 min

Power to the PleasersI Think you’re LyingAre you a people pleaser who hates the question, “What do you want?” Maybe your default answer to that question is always “I don’t know.” In today's episode, I’m sharing with you how you can become more decisive, share what you want in life and know exactly what you don’t want. Join me in this episode to hear how you can finally stop deferring to other people's answers and instead speak up when it comes to what you want. Also Discussed in this Episode: You’re lyi...2022-12-2930 min

Power to the PleasersIs “I Don’t Want to” an Excuse?As a people pleaser, you may be familiar with committing yourself to a situation or an event that you don’t necessarily want to go to. In today's episode, I’m sharing whether or not the phrase “I don’t want to” is a valid excuse when you’re faced with something you may not be enthusiastic about. Join me as I give some actionable mindfulness tips so you can break down your people pleasing and perfectionistic patterns and do things on your terms instead of trying to please others. ...2022-11-1721 min

Power to the PleasersWhy it’s Hard to Ask for HelpIf you’re a people pleaser who has a hard time asking for help, today’s episode is for you. Today, I’m sharing why it can be hard for people pleasers to ask for help when they need it and how this relates to our view of personal relationships. I’m also offering some actionable tips you can take to have healthier relationships and identify your potential stumbling blocks when asking for help. Also Discussed in this Episode: Why it’s hard to ask for help as a peopl...2022-11-1024 min

Power to the PleasersDeveloping IntoleranceAre you a people pleaser who’s been tolerating rudeness or bad behavior because you’re trying to avoid conflict? Intolerance is one of the most prized skills I have learned during my people pleasing recovery and today, I’m talking about how you can not only stop tolerating bad behavior but also protect your intolerance of it. Join me on today’s episode, to learn some actionable steps you can take to create healthy boundaries and manage the anger you may be feeling in a healthy way. Also Discus...2022-11-0328 min

Power to the PleasersMaking DecisionsDecision making can be tough for people pleasers and directly relates to our need to be perfect. As people pleasers, we want to make everyone happy so being faced with a final decision can be daunting. If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, In today’s episode I’m giving you some easy, actionable tips so you can let go of your perfectionism and make decisions easier. Join me to learn how you can really listen to your inner self and make easy decisions that please you. Also Dis...2022-11-0327 min