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The Davenport
Tis' The Season...For A Pause: The Davenport Podcast Will Be On Pause For A Season
Hello friends! We want to wish everyone a happy and healthy holiday season and share an announcement about our podcast. We have decided to take a pause or hiatus for a season. We have been doing this podcast for over 3 years - 155 episodes!! It has been a labor of love and we are so proud of all the hard work and content we have put out there. As we look back over this year and look forward to the next year, we have collectively decided to put the podcast on pause. It is not a goodbye - just a see...
2023-12-19
07 min
The Davenport
Less Self-Criticism and More Self-Compassion: The Importance of Being Kind To Yourself
In this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss their thoughts on the importance of self-compassion, inspired by Kristen Neff's book, "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself." Neff's work sheds light on the importance of treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we readily extend to others. Jamie and Guy discuss the practical strategies for cultivating self-compassion that Neff teaches including mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity, and how these principles can help us navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and authenticity. We hope you enjoy listening to this episode - if you do, ple...
2023-10-03
47 min
The Davenport
Tales Retold: The Power and Pitfalls of Gossip in Our Lives
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy get into the topic of gossip. Although it is technically a way we can connect with others, it is generally negative in nature. Jamie and Guy discuss the definition of gossip, why we gossip, how to avoid gossip, and what to do when you find yourself at the center of gossip. They emphasize other people's business is not our story to tell and to be careful about what you share. We hope you enjoy listening to this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on...
2023-08-29
47 min
The Davenport
We're Back! Summer Re-Cap with Jamie & Guy
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy keep it light talking about what they've been up to during their summer break. We hope you've enjoyed your summer too and we look forward to sharing all the upcoming episodes with you that we have planned!We hope you enjoy listening to this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much! Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)Join us on Facebook :https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/ Foll...
2023-08-01
45 min
The Davenport
How to Recover and Bounce Back From Blows to Your Self-Esteem
In this episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the Psychology Today article "5 Ways to Recover From a Blow to Your Self-Esteem". We all face situations where our self-esteem or self-worth takes a hit, but it's important to know how to bounce back. The article suggests five strategies to help you recover from a blow to your self-esteem, including recognizing it as a normal part of life, practicing self-compassion, focusing on your strengths, learning from the experience, and surrounding yourself with supportive people. Jamie and Guy discuss each strategy in depth and share personal anecdotes to show how we've used them i...
2023-04-18
47 min
The Davenport
Co-Dependency: It Takes Two To Create This Dysfunctional Relationship Dynamic
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the basics of codependency. Codependency in relationships refers to a dynamic where one person enables or supports negative behaviors in their partner, sacrificing their own well-being for the sake of the relationship. This can lead to a cycle of dysfunction where both partners become overly reliant on each other, leading to unhealthy codependent behaviors such as neglecting personal responsibilities, making decisions based on the needs of the relationship rather than individual needs, and a lack of personal boundaries. Ultimately, codependency can lead to feelings of resentment, low self-esteem, and a decreased...
2023-01-31
45 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 9: The Stickler
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the stickler saboteur - which happens to be another one of Guy's strongest saboteurs. The 'stickler' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, well-being, and relationships". He defines the stickler saboteur as wanting perfectionism and a need for order and organization taken too far. The stickler is anxiously trying to make too many...
2022-12-06
50 min
The Davenport
Phubbing: What It Is, Why We Do it and When You Know It's a Problem
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss phubbing (phone snubbing). Jamie referenced a recent article in Psychology Today on this topic and felt it was worthy to bring to the Davenport. They discuss what it is, why we do it and the effects it has on connection and communication. To read the full article, click here https://bit.ly/3g6gXtHWe hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thed...
2022-11-15
45 min
The Davenport
'Tis the Season: In-laws and Boundaries
On this week's episode, in response to a listener's request Jamie and Guy discuss in-laws and boundaries. With the holidays approaching, they knew several of their other listeners might also be curious about this subject. Sometimes our relationships with our in-laws or extended family can be difficult but there is a way to navigate your differences and stay generous towards each other. Jamie and Guy both discuss what has and hasn't worked for them in the past to help you with the upcoming holiday season:) The following are links to books they recommend on this subject: How to H...
2022-11-08
47 min
The Davenport
How Expectations and Indifference Can Lead to Entitlement and How To Keep It In Check
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss entitlement and how it can creep into our lives at time. From teenagers who feel entitled to have certain things to adults who feel they've worked hard and deserve certain results or rewards - we've all felt it. Jamie discusses how entitlement can stem from expectations and an attitude of indifference vs. gratitude. They discuss how to recognize and then manage it when it shows up 💛 We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thank...
2022-11-01
46 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 8: Hyperrational
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the hyperrational saboteur - which happens to be Guy's 2nd strongest saboteur behind his controller. The 'hyperrational' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". He defines the hyperrational saboteur as having an intense and exclusive focus on the rational processing of everything, including relationships. They can be perceived as uncar...
2022-10-25
47 min
The Davenport
The Art of Listening
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of listening. There's more to it than you think and they break it down into 3 different levels by explaining what each looks like. Jamie explains that listening is a skill that can be learned and takes practice. They both reflected on how their careers as a therapist and coach have helped them improve this skill. We hope you have a chance to listen and reflect how you listen to others and challenge you to improve this skill if you need 💛 We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you d...
2022-10-18
41 min
The Davenport
The Power of Friendship
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the power of friendship. There are so many benefits to having good friendships in our lives: it makes life more enjoyable, it gives you a safe place to be yourself and it enriches your everyday experiences because you are sharing it with someone. A friend is someone that you can reach out to in times of need. It is someone who you can be totally honest with and they will be honest with you. They discuss how strong friendships have to be cultivated. They take time, energy, and commitment. Jamie also exp...
2022-10-11
46 min
The Davenport
Keeping Score in Relationships: Why It's Not A Winning Strategy
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss keeping score in relationships. From romantic relationships, to parenting, to driving in traffic - they discuss how keeping score isn't a winning strategy for improving connection. Jamie explains that when we are keeping score someone is always on offense and the other is on defense. By keeping score we often discount the good because we are keeping score of what's not working. Plus, there are so many factors involved it would be impossible to keep an accurate score. We should want to be on the same team as our spouse or part...
2022-10-04
51 min
The Davenport
Fed up? Irritable? Bored? Maybe You're Differentiating
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy talk about differentiation. This topic came up after reading an article in Psychology Today titled Feeling Fed Up, Resentful? Maybe You’re Differentiating by Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. In this article, differentiation is defined as the active, ongoing process of defining self. It involves separating from those close to us and focusing more on our needs. It can happen at various points in our life - as a toddler trying to do things on our own, to a teenager trying to differentiate or separate from our parents, and to an adu...
2022-09-27
50 min
The Davenport
Boys Adrift: Discussing the Growing Gender Gap Between High Achieving Girls and Underperforming Boys with special guest, Dr. Leonard Sax, MD, PhD
On this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy welcome a very special guest, Dr. Leonard Sax MD PhD. Dr. Sax graduated Phi Beta Kappa from MIT at the age of 19. He then went on to the University of Pennsylvania, where he earned both a PhD in psychology and an MD. He has been continuously certified by the American Board of Family Medicine since 1989. He is also a New York Times Bestselling author and has written 4 books about child development and parenting: The Collapse of Parenting, Boys Adrift, Girls on the Edge, and Why Gender Matters. On today's episode, Jamie and G...
2022-09-20
49 min
The Davenport
Pivoting in Life: How to Embrace and Enjoy the Opportunities and Adventures of Life with special guest, Jim Stubblefield (Jamie's dad)
In this week's episode, Jamie and Guy welcome another special guest, Jamie's dad, Jim Stubblefield. Jamie has shared bits and pieces of his story in previous episodes but in today's episode, we learn all the details of the path his life has taken - from getting a bachelor's degree in Spanish, to spontaneously joining the Marines (without first consulting his wife), to going back to school for his Masters, to becoming a Navy Chaplain and then pivoting and going back to Law School. His love of learning, adventure, and gaining meaningful life experiences is evident throughout every step of hi...
2022-09-06
1h 04
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 6: Restless
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the restless saboteur. The 'restless' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". He defines the restless saboteur as: The need to look for excitement from many activities. It is easily distracted and bounces back from unpleasant feelings and seeks new stimulation. Attention is constantly shifted and impatience is constant. It...
2022-08-30
48 min
The Davenport
Discussing the Decline of Emotional Intelligence and How to Improve Your Emotional Well-Being
On this episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the decline of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and how to get it back. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. Jamie references an article in Psychology Today about this topic and they discuss how the last couple of years has impacted themselves individually as well as their clients. To learn more about this topic, here is a link to the article as well as books on Emotional Intelligence:Why Emotional Intelligence is on the Decline by Madeleine A. Fugère P...
2022-08-16
44 min
The Davenport
The Power of Influence vs. Being an Influencer
Recently Jamie attended a funeral for a dear friend who had a powerful influence for good in her life - and it made her think about the difference between being a positive influence versus being an "Influencer". In this episode, Jamie and Guy compare the two and how they differ. Being an "Influencer" is more of a modern phenomenon in today's society of social media and can lean a little more toward a "promoter" of themselves, products, etc. Take a listen and consider those people in your life who are a positive influence and how you can be the sa...
2022-07-19
42 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 5: Hypervigilant
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the Hypervigilant saboteur. The 'Hypervigilant' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". He defines the Hypervigilant saboteur as: "Continuous intense anxiety about all the dangers and what could go wrong. Vigilance that can never rest. This mode puts you in a constant state of high stress, thinking that that’s the...
2022-07-12
57 min
The Davenport
Giving Pep Talks to Our Kids: How to Inspire and Support vs. Critique and Lecture
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss how to give 'Pep Talks' to our kids. Often times our kids come to us with challenges or insecurities - from taking tests, to trying out for a sport, to navigating friendships and relationships. As parents, we often want to jump in, offer our opinions or intervene - but this isn't what they always need. Jamie and Guy discuss the components of an effective pep talk versus a lecture. They explain that our role should be that of a cheerleader, coach, and supporter that helps them maintain a healthy perspective on thi...
2022-07-05
49 min
The Davenport
Forgiving Yourself: The Importance of Self-Compassion
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of self-compassion and forgiving ourselves. They compare forgiving others versus forgiving ourselves and why the latter can be so difficult. We are often quick to forgive others but when it comes to ourselves we can have a hard time letting go. Jamie explains that when we replay our mistakes over and over in our head it leads to shame and guilt. Lastly, Guy learns about "rumination disorder" and will never look at Jell-o the same 😳 We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minu...
2022-06-28
40 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 4: The Victim
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy continue with their saboteur series - this time focusing on the 'Victim' saboteur. The 'Victim' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". The Victim saboteur is defined as: emotional and temperamental as a way to gain attention and affection. An extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones. Martyr streak.
2022-06-14
39 min
The Davenport
Discussing the Hope Squad: a Peer-to-Peer Support System in Schools that Saves Lives with guest Skyler Stubblefield
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy welcome Jamie's niece, Skyler Stubblefield, to discuss the Hope Squad: a peer-to-peer mental health support system in elementary, middle and high schools nationwide. Jamie explains how the Hope Squad was begun by a high school principal who was compelled to act due to the high suicide rate at his school. Joining forces with health care professionals and the community, the first Hope Squad was formed. As a current member of the Hope Squad in her high school, Sklyer explains how she and other classmates are nominated by their peers and then trained to...
2022-05-31
52 min
The Davenport
5 Simple Tips for Teens on How to Improve Communication, Conversation & Connection
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss 5 tips to improve communication, conversation and connection. Recently Guy shared these tips when presenting to a group of teens and thought they are good reminders to share no matter what your age. Listen to hear these 5 simple tips and choose one to focus on this week. We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!Support the show: (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/t...
2022-05-24
47 min
The Davenport
Ready, Set,...Stay: Discussing How and Why Our Kids Fail to Launch into Adulthood
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss how and why our kids "fail to launch" into adulthood. Over the years as a therapist, Jamie has seen a delayed "emerging into adulthood". This can look like a delay in entering the workforce, going off to college, or living independently. She explains that adolescence is "lasting longer". They compare this phenomenon to a rocket and break down why we are seeing it more and how to manage it. We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Pod...
2022-05-03
53 min
The Davenport
Exhausted? Daydreaming of a Good Night's Sleep? Chrissy Lawler, LMFT and Baby Sleep Consultant, is Here to Help Everyone in the House Get Their Zzzz's
Counting sheep has nothing on this week’s guest, Chrissy Lawler, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, lover of sleep, and baby sleep consultant. Chrissy explains when she began practicing therapy she started to realize that sleep issues were a common thread among all of her clients. Because of this, she decided to pursue additional training in advanced sleep medicine. She says her goal is to “take the stress out of sleep training and get everyone in the family a good night’s rest.” What began with helping adults achieve a better night's sleep, shifted to focusing on helping babies sleep whe...
2022-04-26
48 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 3: The Avoider
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy deep dive into another saboteur as part of their Positive Intelligence Saboteur Series: the Avoider. The "Avoider"" is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". The Avoider saboteur causes a person to focus on the positive and pleasant in an extreme way. It causes them to avoid difficult and unpleasant tasks and co...
2022-04-19
45 min
The Davenport
From First Dates to Flying: Forging Through the Fear You Feel
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss fear. From the fear of flying, to first dates, to spiders - they explain the discuss the importance of fear and how to manage it. Fear is a primal response that alerts us to danger. It can stem from real or imagined threats. For our ancient ancestors that might have been a bear outside their cave - but nowadays our fears might look more like taking a test, speaking in public, interviewing for a job - not as life-threatening but still fear-inducing. Listen to Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of no...
2022-04-05
38 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 2: Meet the Pleaser
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss another saboteur or inner critic: the Pleaser. Jamie explains how she is all too familiar with this saboteur because it is her "#1". Being a "pleaser" is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". Jamie explains how the pleaser shows up for her and when it becomes a little too strong. She als...
2022-03-22
41 min
The Davenport
You're Not Alone: The Importance of Connection and Community for Parents of Special Needs Children w/ guest Kara Ryska, Life Coach
On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy welcome local guest Kara Ryska - mother of four including one special needs child, Levi. Kara is also a life coach and host of The Special Needs Mom Podcast: A place for moms to connect and grow. Kara tells her story about when her son Levi was diagnosed with brain cancer at age two and how life has looked different since then. She explains how a couple of years ago she felt inspired to help this community of special needs moms by starting a podcast with the hope of bringing them toge...
2022-03-15
45 min
The Davenport
Discussing the Stages of Change & Why Making and Maintaining Change Can Be So Hard
On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss change - particularly making and maintaining changes in our lives. They agree that often times when people think of change - they are referring to the “action” stage of change - but they discuss how there is a lot more to change than that. Jamie explains that there are six stages of change and explains why they are each important. Take a listen to understand better the process of change and how to make and maintain the changes you want to in your life 💛We hope you enjoy this episod...
2022-03-08
47 min
The Davenport
No But's About It: Why Accountability is Important in Maintaining Healthy Relationships and Achieving Your Goals
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss accountability. From RSVP'ing to parties, to holding yourself accountable to training for a marathon, to taking ownership in relationships when you "step in it" - accountability is important and shows up in all facets of our lives. They discuss how there are no "buts" or blaming when you are being accountable for your actions. Being accountable means you turn inward to analyze how you have behaved instead of outwardly blaming others or the situation. Being accountable means taking responsibility for your actions. Highly accountable people don't make excuses and work through the...
2022-03-01
40 min
The Davenport
Taking a Deep Dive Into Three Types of Self Esteem: Performance-based, Attribute-based, & Others-based
This week's episode was inspired by Terry Real's discussion about self-esteem in his most recent book Fierce Intimacy. Self-esteem is a topic Jamie and Guy have focused on before but after reading this book wanted to take a deeper dive into the 3 types of self-esteem discussed in this book: (1) Performance-based esteem: I have worth based on what I do. (2) Attribute-based esteem: I have worth based on what I have; and (3) Others-based esteem: I have worth because other people think I do. Take a listen as Jamie and Guy discuss the harm in basing your self-esteem in any of these t...
2022-02-22
43 min
The Davenport
Saboteur Series Part 1: Getting to Know the Controller
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss control and being a controller. Being a "controller" is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence. He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". A controller is someone who wants to do things their way (because they feel it is the best way or the right way) to achieve the outcome or goal they desire. Guy gets vulnerable sharing how...
2022-02-15
39 min
The Davenport
How To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable (aka: The Art of Respectful Discussion)
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss how to disagree without being disagreeable. They reminisce about both being part of their debate teams in high school and compared the art of debate to this topic. They give advice on how to discuss differing opinions or points of view with others without being contentious. Jamie explains it is easy to get defensive when you're feeling criticized. She also explains that it's an art to disagree with someone while at the same time respecting them and honoring their opinions and ideas. They conclude by emphasizing that it’s always important to gi...
2022-02-08
41 min
The Davenport
Does Your Parenting Style Differ From Your Partner? How to Work Together When Raising Your Kids
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss different parenting styles and how to work together with your partner when your parenting styles differ. They discuss the whole spectrum of styles from Authoritarian to Uninvolved Parenting and what each one looks like. Jamie explains it's not uncommon to have different parenting styles than your partner and that is ok. She also explains it's important to discuss what you and your partners long-term goals are for your children and how you plan to get there. They conclude with the acknowledgment that no one does it perfectly all the time. You hav...
2022-02-01
46 min
The Davenport
A Discussion About Addiction w/ Dr. Aaron Cannon
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy welcome back another one of their favorite guests, Dr. Aaron Cannon. Drawing on his years of experience working with inmates in the California Department of Corrections (prison), Dr. Cannon shares his insights on addiction. He defines addiction as continued use of a substance (or an activity) despite adverse consequences. They discuss how almost anything can become an addiction. From addictive behaviors like pornography or gaming that disrupt marriages to drug addictions that contribute to people becoming incarcerated, they cover it all in this episode. To conclude, they discuss the challenging road to re...
2022-01-25
1h 08
The Davenport
The Harm of Toxic Productivity: Your Worth Is Not Determined By Your Output
In this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss toxic productivity. Toxic productivity is the unhealthy desire to be productive at all times and at all costs. It often comes with a big serving of guilt that no matter how productive we are, we feel like we should be doing more. Jamie and Guy explain that productivity in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. But toxic productivity is when we take it too far. Toxic productivity can be driven by fear, the need for control or out of the habit of attaching our worth to our achievements. They discus...
2022-01-18
52 min
The Davenport
The Benefits of Using Mindfulness To Feel More Grounded
We’re back from our winter break and looking forward to sharing lots of great topics this year. On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss Mindfulness - which has been a bit of a buzz word the last few years. Mindfulness is the state of active, open attention to the present, a.k.a. being in the moment. It’s a very intentional activity that helps you to focus on your thoughts and feelings. Jamie explains that the two elements that matter the most in mindfulness are awareness and acceptance. The benefit of mindfulness is that you know what...
2022-01-11
42 min
The Davenport
Starting off the New Year by Revisiting an Episode from the Past: Values
We're starting off the new year by reposting an episode from the past! We are re-sharing Episode #3 in which we discussed Values. Your personal core values define who you are and what matters to you as an individual. Listen as Jamie and Guy discuss their values and how it guides and influences how they live their lives.We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)Join us on ...
2022-01-04
36 min
The Davenport
Repair vs. Resolution: A Healthy Marriage Requires Regular Maintenance To Keep It Going Strong
On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss repair versus resolution when conflicts arise in relationships. Jamie explains that “repair attempts” are actions you take to get your relationship back on track and back in connection with your partner. She explains that 75% of the conflict with our partner is perpetual - conflicts that pop up again and again. She also explains that that is totally normal and it doesn’t mean your relationship is “broken” and needs to be "fixed" - it just needs some adjustments or tune-ups to stay on track. The happiest couples, she explains, are the ones that r...
2021-12-14
42 min
The Davenport
Feeling FOMO? How To Stay Out Of Comparison And Appreciate Your Life Experience’s More
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss FOMO - the Fear Of Missing Out. FOMO has probably always existed but technology and social media have certainly made it worse. It is easy to start scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and compare our lives to others. Jamie explains that FOMO is a real feeling - but it’s not necessarily real in that it’s indicative of our reality. They go on to discuss that we don’t need to live with this feeling of 'less than' because we haven’t had the same experiences as others. They encourage everyone to...
2021-12-07
49 min
The Davenport
Learning To Love and Embrace Her Korean Culture: An International Adoption Story with guest, Kim Nay
At the age of 12 months, Kim Nay was adopted by an American couple stationed at a military base in Japan. After struggling with infertility, this couple adopted Kim and brought her home. Weighing only 13 lbs. at one year of age, they nursed her little body back to health. Forty-five years later, through mutual friends, Kim learned of a nonprofit organization that helps Korean adoptees take their first trip back to their homeland. Listen as Jamie and Guy learn about Kim’s entire journey and what she has learned about herself and her heritage along the way 💛We hope y...
2021-11-30
58 min
The Davenport
Midlife Analysis: When You Realize Half-time Is Over and You're Starting to Play the Last Half, with guest Brent Peterson
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy welcome back another one of their favorite guests (and fan favorite), friend and Game Chef founder, Brent Peterson. They discuss something they all are in the thick of: midlife. This discussion came up recently between Brent and Jamie after Brent attended his 30th high school reunion. They discuss why midlife can cause you to get reflective and pensive about your life which can lead to feelings of restlessness, urgency, and uncertainty. They discuss how to process all those feelings and where to go from here - because although life is moving along...
2021-11-23
49 min
The Davenport
Emotional Resilience: Rising Everytime We Fall
This week on the Davenport, Jamie and Guy discuss Emotional Resilience. What is emotional resilience? Emotional resilience refers to one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. It's the ability to "bounce back" or "roll with the punches" and adapt to challenges in life without having lasting difficulties. Less resilient people have a harder time with stress and life changes, both big and small. An important component of emotional resilience is emotional intelligence - being able to recognize what you are feeling and why. Quoting Alecia Moore, Jamie explained, "Resilience is a muscle. Flex it enough and it w...
2021-11-16
49 min
The Davenport
Did You Do Your Best? Well, That's Not Good Enough...How To Set Measurable Goals and Prevent Shame with guest, Jim R. Jacobs, LCSW
On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy welcome Jamie’s longtime friend and former college classmate, Jim R. Jacobs, LCSW, CDWF, author, father and avid fencer. They discuss shame - and in particular - the shame that is triggered by the unobtainable quest of trying "to do our best”. Jim explains that we live in a world that tells us to do our best but then tells us our best is never good enough - and how this inevitably leads to shame. He suggests that instead of trying to do our best , we should strive to achieve something that is...
2021-11-02
49 min
The Davenport
Life’s Not Fair: How To Go On Living Your Best Life Anyway
In today’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss how life isn’t always fair. We learn this principle when we are young so why does it keep tripping us up as we get older? Even when we try our best and do everything right, life isn't always fair because we can’t always control everything. From portioning out the “treat” cereal with siblings, to not being able to take a trip to somewhere fun like a friend did, to coming to terms with infertility and accepting that your family may look different than what you always dreamed it might - unfairness...
2021-10-26
45 min
The Davenport
Attachment 101, with guest Dr. Katie Erreca, Psy.D.
On today's episode Jamie and Guy welcome back another one of their favorite guests, Dr. Katie Erreca, Psy.D. to discuss Attachment Theory and its importance in all of our relationships. They discuss the four different categories of Attachment Theory and explain that we should always be working toward one in particular - secure attachment. From Jerry McQuire, to Star Trek, to discussing the bathroom habits of roommates - you'll coming away from listening to this episode having a much better understanding and appreciation of the importance of healthy attachments in your life .We hope you enjoyed to...
2021-10-19
55 min
The Davenport
How Do You Talk To Yourself About Yourself? Insights On How To Develop Confidence and Self-Worth
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy respond to a question from a teen podcast listener. This listener asked, "How do I start to like myself?" This led to a discussion about self-worth, knowing who you are and developing confidence. Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of having self-worth, and knowing, no matter what you do , no matter what choices you make - your worth stays the same. No one is perfect, being flawed is part of being human. In fact, Jamie explains that part of confidence is knowing, "I'm flawed and I'm ok with it." We are all a work...
2021-10-12
43 min
The Davenport
How To Overcome Adversity, with Shark Attack Survivor, Keane Webre-Hayes
On this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy welcome special guests, Keane Webre-Hayes and his mom, Ellie Hayes, to share their remarkable story of courage, acceptance, and recovery. When Keane was 13 years old he was bit by a great white shark while lobster diving off the coast of Encinitas, CA. That day would change both of their lives forever. Please join Keane and Ellie on The Davenport where they share how the events of that day and the connections made through that extremely challenging experience have resulted in so many great life lessons for all of us to hear. Tru...
2021-10-05
46 min
The Davenport
Managing Expectations: How to Keep Perspective When Life Doesn’t Go Your Way
In this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss managing expectations when life isn't going our way. Keeping perspective on what's really important helps us keep realistic expectations and avoid disappointment when things turn out different than what we expected or hoped. From work, to parenting, to our managing our relationship with our partner - setting realistic expectations can make all the difference.We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/th...
2021-09-28
39 min
The Davenport
The Benefits of Dating in Marriage and the Importance of Love Maps to Keep You Connected to Your Partner
This week's episode continues last week's topic of dating and expands it into dating in marriage or long-term relationships. Jamie also introduces the concept of "Love Maps" as taught by Dr. John Gottman. A "Love Map" is the part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life - their goals in life, worries, dreams, etc. Jamie explains that when we are dating we spend hours and hours getting to know everything about each other. That intensity cannot be maintained over the years in marriage because we often get caught up in the day to d...
2021-09-21
43 min
The Davenport
Perspectives on Dating, from Binaca to Benchseats, w/ guest Andrea Dunlap
For their 50th episode Jamie and Guy welcome guest Andrea Dunlap to discuss dating during the different seasons of life. In this fun conversation, they discuss dating in your teens compared to dating in midlife and how priorities and perspectives change. Hold onto your benchseat, and grab your Binaca as Jamie, Guy and Andrea drive down memory lane sharing what they have learned about themselves and others through their dating experiences.We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!...
2021-09-14
55 min
The Davenport
The 4 Types of People You Need In Your Inner Circle and Why They Are So Valuable
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss the 4 types of people we need in our inner circle. This discussion was inspired by an article by Suneel Guptay titled The 4 Types of Personalities Leaders Need In Their Inner Circle. A link to the article can be found here:https://www.fastcompany.com/90607514/the-4-types-of-personalities-leaders-need-in-their-inner-circleThe 4 types of personalities the author recommends are: a Collaborator, a Cheerleader, a Coach and a Critic. Jamie and Guy discuss each of these types of people and how they add value to our lives. The collaborator is someone who’s going t...
2021-09-07
40 min
The Davenport
Taking Time-outs When Emotions Are Escalating: Knowing When To Clock Out and Clock Back In
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of taking time-outs when emotions are escalating and arguments are getting out of hand. The purpose of a time-out is to abruptly stop unconstructive interaction between you and your partner. They are a way to stay in control, to de-escalate and to avoid arguments. Jamie refers to Terry Real's book The New Rules of Marriage to explain the rules, or guidelines, for taking time-outs. When done properly time-outs can help us to gain perspective and prevent us from hurting our partner or saying something we are going to regret.
2021-08-31
35 min
The Davenport
Ding! Ding! Ding! When Emotions Run High and You're in the Ring w/ guest, Mara Vernon, CPCC, PCC, CDTLF
On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy welcome back another one of their favorite guests, Mara Vernon CPCC, PCC, CDTLF to continue last week’s discussion on being triggered. Mara shares an analogy or framework of what happens emotionally and physiologically when we are triggered. She calls this situation “being in the ring” and describes it as an emotional boxing ring. She explains that when we are "in the ring" our brain only scans for the negative and we are on the defensive, ready to fight. She goes on to explain that the way to get out of the ring is...
2021-08-24
47 min
The Davenport
Triggered: Identifying and Managing All Those Things That Can Set Us Off
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy talk about being triggered. They share what triggers them the most, from the after-school pick-up lines to shoes that aren't put away. Jamie explains that a trigger is a stimulus (which can be a situation, person, place, or thing) that contributes to an unwanted emotional or behavioral response. They discuss the importance of being able to identify what is it that triggers you and then learning how to manage it. We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review o...
2021-08-17
45 min
The Davenport
The Davenport Podcast Welcomes a Special Guest: Their #1 Fan...Michele Clifford a.k.a. Momma-razzi
On today's episode, Jamie and Guy welcome Michele Clifford, their #1 fan and self-appointed President of the newly formed Davenport Fan Club 🙌🏼 Michele talks about why she listens to the podcast and what she has learned from it. She discusses how it has helped her identify her core values, strengths, and inner/critics or saboteurs. She also talks about how she enjoys all the Rom-Com references, food tips, and personal stories that make her laugh. The Davenport Podcast appreciates all their fans and it was pretty fun to hang out with, ask some questions, and get some feedback from their #1. Thanks...
2021-08-10
46 min
The Davenport
Assertive vs. Aggressive: How Respect for Others Differentiates These Two Communication Styles
In this week’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss four different communication styles: Aggressive, Passive, Passive-Aggressive and Assertive. They begin by explaining the differences between being Assertive and being Aggressive because they can sometimes be mistaken for each other. When someone is using Assertive communication, they clearly state their opinions and feelings and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. They are respectful of the rights of others. Aggressive communication, on the other hand, does not. An Aggressive communication style is a style of communicating in which individuals express their feelings and opinions an...
2021-07-27
45 min
The Davenport
Ego: Why It Gets Such A Bad Rap And Why It Really Shouldn't
Ego… the word is often associated with a negative connotation, but in this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy discuss why it is so important to have a strong, healthy ego. They explain that a strong ego helps us respond to life’s challenges versus just reacting to them. A strong ego means you have a strong sense of identity - you know who you are. A strong ego helps you develop solutions to life’s challenges. Jamie also explains that people you are drawn to in your life probably have a strong ego because they are comfortable with themselve...
2021-07-20
46 min
The Davenport
Teen Development: Finding Their Identity - A Parent’s Guide, w/ guest, Dr. Katie Erreca Psy. D.
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy welcome back Dr. Katie Erreca Psy. D. to discuss teens and an important part of their development: finding their identity. Finding their identity - or who they are - is critical to growing up. It can be a bumpy ride for everyone involved - teens and parents - but Dr. Erreca explains how to make the ride a little smoother:)We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!Support the sho...
2021-07-13
57 min
The Davenport
The Davenport Podcast is Partnering with Patreon to give you more!!
In celebration of Independence Day, Guy and Jamie are taking a break this week from their regular podcasting schedule to share some exciting news: The Davenport Podcast is partnering with Patreon to bring you more! What is Patreon? Patreon is a membership platform that connects content creators with fans and supporters. It's a way for fans of the podcast to help support the show and in return get exclusive content, opportunities and some sweet swag. Visit https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport to get all the details. Thanks again for all of your support 💛 Join us on Facebook :...
2021-07-06
08 min
The Davenport
The Teen Brain Explained, with guest Dr. Katie Erreca, Psy.D.
On this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy welcome Dr. Katie Erreca, Psy.D. to discuss the development of the teenage brain and how it relates to their sometimes unpredictable or impulsive behavior. Dr. Erreca explains that the brain of a teenager is complex and still maturing. She describes that their brain is like a brain with "spotty wifi" that sometimes leads to inconsistent or unpredictable behavior. She also explains that an important part of the teenage brain and personality development is the teen being able to figure out who they are by exploring or trying different things. Listen to...
2021-06-29
56 min
The Davenport
Adult Children and their Parents: How to Navigate Generational Differences
On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss a question received from a listener. The question the listener asked was: "I know you both have young kids but would you consider an episode on adult children and navigating toxic relationships with parents? My age group, older millennials, are doing the work - therapy, self-help books, podcasts, etc. I feel like the more I know the harder it is to have a healthy relationship with my parents because they aren’t willing to do the work and often shame it. This is something most of my friends are going through as w...
2021-06-22
43 min
The Davenport
Emotional Intelligence: Identifying, Understanding and Managing Your Emotions
On this week's episode Jamie and Guy feel all the feelings to discuss Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you. Listen as Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of developing and gr...
2021-06-15
40 min
The Davenport
Navigating Life Choices and Making Decisions (Magic 8 Ball not included), w/ guest Brent Peterson
On today’s episode, Jamie and Guy welcome back one of their favorite guests, Brent Peterson, founder of GameChef Board Games, former track star (almost), and one-time skydiver who is never going again - to discuss what they’ve learned about making life decisions and the power of choice. From having too many choices in the cereal aisle, to choosing what color car to buy - to choosing a life partner or a career - they discuss why making small and/or big decisions can sometimes feel paralyzing and what to do about it. Jamie explains that, “we often don’t a...
2021-06-08
45 min