Shows
Happy in The Middle, a Podcast for Christian Midlife Women#104 Healing From the Wounds of Pornography, with Special Guest, Zach SpaffordToday’s episode is a little different — and honestly, incredibly important.
We’re talking about something that impacts far more Christian homes than most people realize: pornography.
Whether it’s something you’ve discovered in your marriage, something showing up in another family member's life, or something you’ve wrestled with personally, this topic is often wrapped in shame, secrecy, and silence.
But here’s the truth:
What stays hidden can’t be healed.
That’s why I invited a very special guest — my friend and professional pornography recovery coach, Zach Spafford...
2025-11-2054 min
The Busy Brained Saint PodcastNavigating Unwanted Porn Use with an ADHD Brain with Zach Spafford
Join Kamden and her expert guest, Zach Spafford, on "The Busy Brained Saint" podcast as they delve into their personal experiences and professional insights into managing ADHD and its intersection with habits like pornography use. Drawing from their own journeys, they discuss real life struggles that inform their work in helping others navigate their minds and overcome damaging habits.
They explore the nuances of ADHD, highlighting how the ADHD brain's unique wiring can lead to challenges in regulating attention, emotions, and executive functions. They also discuss the role of negative stories and emotions in triggering the use...
2024-02-2746 min
Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Client Interview - What Success Looks Like with Andi MarksSet up a free consult with Zach at zachspafford.com/workwithzach
2022-12-1251 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)6 Proven Shifts For Wives To Move Beyond BetrayalWelcome to another episode of Thrive Beyond Pornography! We are so glad you are here! As we shift our podcast from focusing mainly on the person who struggles with pornography to the relationship and all parties involved, we will have a variety of episodes. Some with be geared specifically for the person struggling with porn; in our podcast dialogues, we will assume it is the husband, although we are well aware that women struggle with porn too; some will be directed towards the wives, and others will be for both. We would recommend if you are...
2022-12-0521 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)How our mind keeps us stuckDarcy: If Zach and I were to say that we believe in your ability to reach your goals around pornography and that humans often underestimate their ability to succeed, would that statement insult you, or would it cause you to feel hopeful? I am sure you are all very familiar with the placebo effect. Scientists gather a group of individuals who all struggle with say, depression and create 3 groups of people. One group gets the prescription medication, one group gets nothing, and the last group gets a sugar pill that they believe is the r...
2022-11-2818 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)What Quitting Porn and Dieting Have in CommonWelcome to Thrive Beyond Pornography. We are your hosts, Zach and Darcy Spafford.Zach-Darcy has some big news to share with all our listeners today! Darcy- Today was my first time giving a talk in Sacrament meeting! It went better than I expected. I based my talk on the book Believing Christ. I shared my raw experience with the ward about never feeling good enough and how learning about my Savior and striving to create a relationship with Him gives me the strength to keep going.Zach- it was a gr...
2022-11-2116 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Modesty and The New For Strength of Youth with Amanda LouderI'm Joined by my friend Amanda Louder from Sex For Saints and Amandalouder.com00:00.00amandalouderWelcome back to the podcast. Everyone I'm here with my good friend and fellow coach Zach Spafford hey Zack good. How are you good now you've been on the podcast before with your lovely wife. Darcy she's amazing I love her so much.00:05.20Zachary SpaffordHey how you doing I'm so good.00:15.40Zachary SpaffordShe's awesome. Yeah.00:17.94
2022-11-1456 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Part Three - Darcy and Zach's Story - Getting to Thrive Beyond PornographySet up a free consult at zachspafford.com/workwithzach
2022-11-0734 min
Sex for SaintsModesty & The For Strength of Youth: A Collaboration with Zach SpaffordIn this episode, I talk with my good friend and fellow life coach Zach Spafford about modesty and the new For the Strength of Youth guide. We talk about why this new guide is a step in the right direction when we're speaking to our youth about modesty and living the Gospel. How we need to let go of some of the old traditions we were raised with when it comes to modesty and embrace a new way of looking at things. With examples from our own lives, this is a very interesting episode that you won't want to...
2022-11-0455 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Part Two - Zach And Darcy Talk About the Struggle of Pornography in Their Marriage00:00.00Hey, everybody and welcome to thrive beyond pornography I'm Zach and this is Darcy Hello all right so last week. We talked about what was going on for us as we grew up Darcy and I kind of gave you the the foundation of of what we grew up with. How we got kind of the ideas that we got in our heads about pornography and sexuality and and all of the really interesting stuff about when we were babies when we were little kids and all the way up into our teen years and right after...
2022-10-3129 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Part One - The Spafford's Tell their Storyzachspafford.com
2022-10-2429 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)New podcast DirectionHey, everybody welcome to our podcast I think you guys probably noticed something that there was no intro music. did you did you guys notice that did you notice that Darcy I don't know because I can't hear it. So. If you notice that there was no welcome to episode number 163 this is the one hundred and sixty third episode of our podcast the podcast that I've been producing since October of 2019 so that's kind of cool and you probably notice that there's no intro music or intro. Whatever. That we usually hear every time you turn on the...
2022-10-1714 minThrive Beyond PornographyNew podcast DirectionHey, everybody welcome to our podcast I think you guys probably noticed something that there was no intro music. did you did you guys notice that did you notice that Darcy I don't know because I can't hear it. So. If you notice that there was no welcome to episode number 163 this is the one hundred and sixty third episode of our podcast the podcast that I've been producing since October of 2019 so that's kind of cool and you probably notice that there's no intro music or intro. Whatever. That we usually hear every time you turn on the...
2022-10-1714 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Principles and the New FSY GuideSet a Free consultation with Zach at zachspafford.com/workwithzach
2022-10-0324 minThrive Beyond PornographyPrinciples and the New FSY GuideSet a Free consultation with Zach at zachspafford.com/workwithzach
2022-10-0324 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Overcoming Pornography is Possible-True StoryHear the true and amazing story of Jon, a client who's work with Zach gave him the freedom from pornography that he's been trying for years.
2022-06-2753 minThrive Beyond PornographyOvercoming Pornography is Possible-True StoryHear the true and amazing story of Jon, a client who's work with Zach gave him the freedom from pornography that he's been trying for years.
2022-06-2753 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)How we talk about pornography matters, here is why.-Interview with Latter-Day Life Coaches -In this interview with Latter-day Life Coaches, Zach discusses changing the Narrative around pornography and pornography addiction to help us create a shameless conversation geared toward overcoming pornography and utilizing the agency inherent in all of us. If you would like to learn more, check out zachspafford.com/blog
2022-05-1148 minThrive Beyond PornographyHow we talk about pornography matters, here is why.-Interview with Latter-Day Life Coaches -In this interview with Latter-day Life Coaches, Zach discusses changing the Narrative around pornography and pornography addiction to help us create a shameless conversation geared toward overcoming pornography and utilizing the agency inherent in all of us. If you would like to learn more, check out zachspafford.com/blog
2022-05-1148 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Families are Being Torn Apart By Pornography UseJoin Zach and Darcy as they discuss an email they received about pornography use. Listen to more episodes at zachspafford.com/blog
2022-05-0947 minThrive Beyond PornographyFamilies are Being Torn Apart By Pornography UseJoin Zach and Darcy as they discuss an email they received about pornography use. Listen to more episodes at zachspafford.com/blog
2022-05-0947 min
Latter-day Life Coaches69. Changing Our Narrative About Pornography with Zach SpaffordWhenever we discuss pornography use in the Church we often refer to it as an "addiction" but coach Zach Spafford thinks this is an innacurate description of what is happening and one that needs to change. Zach feels the narrative around pornography use needs to change so that we can allow for agency and mistakes. When we can come to accept that all of us were sent to earth to use our agency and that mistakes are part of that agency, then we can come to view those who look at pornography in a much be...
2022-04-2646 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Being a Forever Porn Addict Is ExhaustingI was working with a client this week and he said something that really struck me. He said, the work that we had been doing made him think that he was less depressed, more hopeful, no longer part of the addict class.This got me thinking. When I was attending 12 step meetings and saying, “Hi, my name is Zach and I’m a porn addict” the message of being an addict was clear. Once a porn addict, always a porn addict. I don’t know...
2022-04-1814 minThrive Beyond PornographyBeing a Forever Porn Addict Is ExhaustingI was working with a client this week and he said something that really struck me. He said, the work that we had been doing made him think that he was less depressed, more hopeful, no longer part of the addict class.This got me thinking. When I was attending 12 step meetings and saying, “Hi, my name is Zach and I’m a porn addict” the message of being an addict was clear. Once a porn addict, always a porn addict. I don’t know...
2022-04-1814 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Choice Point To Overcome PornographyIf you are ready to take your knowledge and understanding to the next level, join the Self Mastery Membership at zachspafford.com/workwithmeHey, everybody, and welcome to another beautiful mastery Monday here on the SelfMastery podcast. I'm your host, Zach Spafford.Listen, I got something for you guys. I'm here to help you overcomepornography. You guys know that right? I just want to let you know that there'ssome stuff that's gonna change.That's all. I'm not going to tell you what it is...
2022-03-0509 minThrive Beyond PornographyChoice Point To Overcome PornographyIf you are ready to take your knowledge and understanding to the next level, join the Self Mastery Membership at zachspafford.com/workwithmeHey, everybody, and welcome to another beautiful mastery Monday here on the SelfMastery podcast. I'm your host, Zach Spafford.Listen, I got something for you guys. I'm here to help you overcomepornography. You guys know that right? I just want to let you know that there'ssome stuff that's gonna change.That's all. I'm not going to tell you what it is...
2022-03-0509 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Intimacy Requires Risk - The Secret to Intimacy Series: Chapter 4 of 5We live in a world that is really good at presenting itself to us in ways that are designed to get our appr oving likes, hearts, shares, and follows. In talking about the ways that we use other-validated intimacy last week, we began to understand what it is and how we might be working to get it from others. We didn’t really talk about why that might be a problem. Relationships built on other-validation create cycle of self-presentation for validation, which eventually breaks down when one or more of the people involved don’t want...
2022-02-2137 minThrive Beyond PornographyIntimacy Requires Risk - The Secret to Intimacy Series: Chapter 4 of 5We live in a world that is really good at presenting itself to us in ways that are designed to get our appr oving likes, hearts, shares, and follows. In talking about the ways that we use other-validated intimacy last week, we began to understand what it is and how we might be working to get it from others. We didn’t really talk about why that might be a problem. Relationships built on other-validation create cycle of self-presentation for validation, which eventually breaks down when one or more of the people involved don’t want...
2022-02-2137 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Improving marital intimacy when overcoming pornography - The Secret to Intimacy Series: Chapter 3 of 5The concept of validation is not a complicated one, but it is a huge part of how we show up in our lives and how we can understand how to better feel the love that we want for ourselves. The way we seek validation will also help us understand how pornography has been playing a part in our self soothing process. I am going to lean on Dr. David Schnarch’s book “Passionate Marriage” for the definitions of these two concepts and then we are going to talk about what they mean in the context of pornog...
2022-02-1424 minThrive Beyond PornographyImproving marital intimacy when overcoming pornography - The Secret to Intimacy Series: Chapter 3 of 5The concept of validation is not a complicated one, but it is a huge part of how we show up in our lives and how we can understand how to better feel the love that we want for ourselves. The way we seek validation will also help us understand how pornography has been playing a part in our self soothing process. I am going to lean on Dr. David Schnarch’s book “Passionate Marriage” for the definitions of these two concepts and then we are going to talk about what they mean in the context of pornog...
2022-02-1424 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Reorganize to Overcome Pornography - The Secret to Intimacy Series: Chapter 1 of 5The path to greater freedom. Four part series. For the month of february we are going to talk about Love - but not in the way that you think…This month, love is going to be about our capacity for great freedom if we are willing to love and be loved through the process of understanding some concepts that you may not be familiar with. We are going to talk about How to use these concepts to improve your ability to love and feel loved by others will be a central focus of our conversations aroun...
2022-01-3136 minThrive Beyond PornographyReorganize to Overcome Pornography - The Secret to Intimacy Series: Chapter 1 of 5The path to greater freedom. Four part series. For the month of february we are going to talk about Love - but not in the way that you think…This month, love is going to be about our capacity for great freedom if we are willing to love and be loved through the process of understanding some concepts that you may not be familiar with. We are going to talk about How to use these concepts to improve your ability to love and feel loved by others will be a central focus of our conversations aroun...
2022-01-3136 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Couples overcoming pornography - Client Interview - Eric and JackieIf you are looking for help in eliminating pornography from your marriage, this podcast is for you. Zach and Darcy Spafford helped Eric and Jackie overcome pornography in their marriage. Visit zachspafford.com to set up your 30 minuter consult with Zach or Darcy.
2022-01-2444 minThrive Beyond PornographyCouples overcoming pornography - Client Interview - Eric and JackieIf you are looking for help in eliminating pornography from your marriage, this podcast is for you. Zach and Darcy Spafford helped Eric and Jackie overcome pornography in their marriage. Visit zachspafford.com to set up your 30 minuter consult with Zach or Darcy.
2022-01-2444 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Betrayal Trauma, Overcoming Pornography, Infidelity, and Sex - with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-FifeThe Self Mastery Podcast is dedicated to helping Latter-day Saints overcome pornography. Men and women struggle with overcoming pornography.This podcast draws on the real-life experiences of the hosts, Zach and Darcy in their struggle to overcome pornography, strengthen their marriage, and grow personally.If you want to know what real success looks like in overcoming pornography from real people who have been where you are, then this podcast is for you. The interviews with real clients who have succeeded, the amazing skills, techniques, and systems that are shared, and the real-world experiences of the...
2022-01-0350 minThrive Beyond PornographyBetrayal Trauma, Overcoming Pornography, Infidelity, and Sex - with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-FifeThe Self Mastery Podcast is dedicated to helping Latter-day Saints overcome pornography. Men and women struggle with overcoming pornography.This podcast draws on the real-life experiences of the hosts, Zach and Darcy in their struggle to overcome pornography, strengthen their marriage, and grow personally.If you want to know what real success looks like in overcoming pornography from real people who have been where you are, then this podcast is for you. The interviews with real clients who have succeeded, the amazing skills, techniques, and systems that are shared, and the real-world experiences of the...
2022-01-0350 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Accountability AppsIn this episode we discuss the accountability app question of one of my clients and help him come to a place where he is living his best life without pornography. If you have struggled with pornography and are ready to quit, this is the podcast for you. Porn affects so many men and women and now you have a way to quit for good and forever. Come listen to Zach and, when you are ready, sign up for his once a year Group Coaching by clicking HERE.Overcome porn for good in your...
2021-12-2723 minThrive Beyond PornographyAccountability AppsIn this episode we discuss the accountability app question of one of my clients and help him come to a place where he is living his best life without pornography. If you have struggled with pornography and are ready to quit, this is the podcast for you. Porn affects so many men and women and now you have a way to quit for good and forever. Come listen to Zach and, when you are ready, sign up for his once a year Group Coaching by clicking HERE.Overcome porn for good in your...
2021-12-2723 min
The Receive Experience12. Interview with Zach SpaffordSummary:
Listen in on my conversation with Zach Spafford, a life coach dedicated to helping men overcome their addiction to pornography.
He became a life coach in 2019 and within a year made over $100k, all while being the father of 8 kids.
Zach’s story will help you see the importance of becoming highly uncomfortable to build a successful business. His story highlights the skills needed to get out there and make things happen.
What you’ll learn:
The story behind his decision to become an entrepreneur
Struggles he encountered on his way...
2021-08-2051 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Wives Wednesday - Compassion, Empathy, and LoveWelcome to another bonus addition of wives Wednesday!I am so excited to be here and talk to guy guys today.Today I wanted to talk about how to create more compassion empathy and love for both you and your spouse.When a love one struggles with pornography it often creates very big emotions for both partners..IF you follow us on Instagram you might have seen the post I wrote that said The more time we can spend creating compassion, e...
2021-08-1116 minThrive Beyond PornographyWives Wednesday - Compassion, Empathy, and LoveWelcome to another bonus addition of wives Wednesday!I am so excited to be here and talk to guy guys today.Today I wanted to talk about how to create more compassion empathy and love for both you and your spouse.When a love one struggles with pornography it often creates very big emotions for both partners..IF you follow us on Instagram you might have seen the post I wrote that said The more time we can spend creating compassion, e...
2021-08-1116 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Healthy SexualityHealthy sexuality is not a fear based avoidance of difficult sexual topics. We need to teach our children swimming skills- Agency- Repentance- AtonementWe need to model the skills of healthy sexuality with our kids. Want to work with Zach or Darcy. Set up a consult at zachspafford.com/workwithme
2021-06-0720 minThrive Beyond PornographyHealthy SexualityHealthy sexuality is not a fear based avoidance of difficult sexual topics. We need to teach our children swimming skills- Agency- Repentance- AtonementWe need to model the skills of healthy sexuality with our kids. Want to work with Zach or Darcy. Set up a consult at zachspafford.com/workwithme
2021-06-0720 min
IMPACT: Parenting with PerspectiveGROWTH THROUGH TOUGH PARENTING MOMENTS WITH ZACH SPAFFORD"Send Ben a text"What Tough Parenting Moments DO & DON'T Mean Becoming a Professional Parent No one shames professional athletes for working to improve themselves. We actually respect them for their dedication and hard work. Don't let others hold you back because of their thoughts or their shame. You can improve as a parent with dedication and hard work. I Should vs I Want vs I Will vs I AM!Should doesn't serve us. It holds us back.An up g...
2021-06-0344 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Climbing Life's MountainsRegister for webinar https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_HgvmOmyPQn-fY2bDTWPjTwThe other day Zac h and I went hiking up Shadow Mountain with our 4 little kids. Just to get up to the base of the “Mountain” you have to climb up two very steep hills. The two toddlers were complaining about their legs being tired before we even got to the base..As we started to climb the “mountain” my brain started thinking in metaphors and how this hike up this “mountain” was a great metaphor for all the challenges we experienc...
2021-05-2328 minThrive Beyond PornographyClimbing Life's MountainsRegister for webinar https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_HgvmOmyPQn-fY2bDTWPjTwThe other day Zac h and I went hiking up Shadow Mountain with our 4 little kids. Just to get up to the base of the “Mountain” you have to climb up two very steep hills. The two toddlers were complaining about their legs being tired before we even got to the base..As we started to climb the “mountain” my brain started thinking in metaphors and how this hike up this “mountain” was a great metaphor for all the challenges we experienc...
2021-05-2328 min
Latter-day Life CoachesHope: Overcoming the Teen Pornography Struggle with Zach SpaffordThis is another fantastic episode in our Teen Series. Today, coach Zach Spafford joins us to talk about teens and pornography and how we can help our children embrace their agency and make choices that align with their values, rather then feeling inadequate and unable to handle pornography. More from Zach: To work with Zach: zachspafford.com/workwithme Self Mastery Podcast: https://www.zachspafford.com/podcast Link to Zach's free "Awesome Stuff": https://www.zachspafford.com/thestuff All content is copyrighted to Heather Rackham and featured coaches. Do not u...
2021-05-1138 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Faith and Prayer in eliminating Pornography - Part 1Download the talk Zach mentioned on the podcast free. https://www.zachspafford.com/podcast-freebie
2021-04-1113 minThrive Beyond PornographyFaith and Prayer in eliminating Pornography - Part 1Download the talk Zach mentioned on the podcast free. https://www.zachspafford.com/podcast-freebie
2021-04-1113 min
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard OstlerEpisode 376: Darcy and Zach Spafford, Zach’s 25+ Year Porn Struggles, Solved. Now Helping OthersMy friends Darcy and Zach Spafford, active LDS and parents of 8, join us to talk about Zach’s 25-year journey to solve porn. Darcy and Zach, who has been clean for 5+ years and serves in his Bishopric, share how they solved unwanted pornography use in their marriage and how they help others do the same.
If you would like to learn more about them and their journey check them out at the resources below.
The Self Mastery Podcast ttps://self-mastery-podcast.captivate.fm/listen
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/zachspafford.selfmasterycoach/
Website https://www.zachspafford.com/
Free Roadmap download https://www.za...
2021-01-271h 00Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Three Keys For How to Make Your Wife HappyYour happiness is within reachI used to think that darcy could make me happy. I thought that if I could just make her happy enough then she would, in turn, make me happy. Seemed simple enough. I used to do pretty much whatever she wanted. I would let her get things that I thought we didn’t need. I would do whatever it took to make her life as comfortable as possible. I...
2021-01-1125 minThrive Beyond PornographyThree Keys For How to Make Your Wife HappyYour happiness is within reachI used to think that darcy could make me happy. I thought that if I could just make her happy enough then she would, in turn, make me happy. Seemed simple enough. I used to do pretty much whatever she wanted. I would let her get things that I thought we didn’t need. I would do whatever it took to make her life as comfortable as possible. I...
2021-01-1125 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)5 Keys to Trust AgainFirst, we want to announce here on the podcast that this is the year! Darcy and I have built a world class membership for you and your loved ones to come and make 2021 your year to finally put pornography behind you and as a special offer, you can be a founding member for less than the cost of one date night each month. Get a year pass as a founding member, lock in this price forever, and make 2021 the year you stop feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and start feeling more confident, fulfilled and successful! ...
2020-12-1333 minThrive Beyond Pornography5 Keys to Trust AgainFirst, we want to announce here on the podcast that this is the year! Darcy and I have built a world class membership for you and your loved ones to come and make 2021 your year to finally put pornography behind you and as a special offer, you can be a founding member for less than the cost of one date night each month. Get a year pass as a founding member, lock in this price forever, and make 2021 the year you stop feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and start feeling more confident, fulfilled and successful! ...
2020-12-1333 min
What Now21. Breaking Free From Pornography I Zach Spafford, shares how to break the vicious cycleJoin me as I speak with behavior coach, Zach Spafford, about his personal journey with pornography and how he overcame a 25 year. habit. He shares important strategies on how to break the negative cycle and recognize our personal power as well as important advice for spouses, parents and friends on how to help someone who is struggling in a way that leads to lasting change. Zach also shares tips on how to communicate effectively with our loved ones who struggle to create a positive outcome, free from shame and guilt.
2020-11-1948 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Client Interview With Eric and Jackie - The Impact of CoachingAn interview with Eric and Jackie, a couple who has been coached by Zach and Darcy through pornography issues in their marriage.https://www.zachspafford.com/freecallhttps://www.zachspafford.com/workwithmehttps://calendly.com/masterycoach/30-min-consult-darcy?month=2020-11
2020-11-1643 minThrive Beyond PornographyClient Interview With Eric and Jackie - The Impact of CoachingAn interview with Eric and Jackie, a couple who has been coached by Zach and Darcy through pornography issues in their marriage.https://www.zachspafford.com/freecallhttps://www.zachspafford.com/workwithmehttps://calendly.com/masterycoach/30-min-consult-darcy?month=2020-11
2020-11-1643 min
A Light In the DarknessA Light In the Darkness Episode 19 - Zach SpaffordIn this episode I talk to Zach Spafford about his pornography use, that started when he was just 8 years old and accidentally exposed to a magazine at a playground. Zach tells us of his own experiences, but also shares insightful thoughts and tools he has learned along the way that can help us in many areas of our lives. Zach is a veteran life coach with years of experience helping others improve their lives, their businesses and their families.
As a Certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School, a Be Bold Masters Trained and Coach Incubator inaugural class coach Zach...
2020-10-2840 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Believing you are an addictIf you’ve ever been to a 12 step meeting you’ve heard the phrase, “Hi, my name is Zach and I’m an addict”.·Almost everyone I’ve worked with thinks they’re “addicted to porn”.·What if, instead of believing, “Hi, my name is Zach and I’m an addict” we believed something else. ·I used to think that I was addicted to pornography, there was something in my brain that made it so I would return to pornography because I was “powerless against my addiction”. ·I hated it. ·
2020-09-2115 minThrive Beyond PornographyBelieving you are an addictIf you’ve ever been to a 12 step meeting you’ve heard the phrase, “Hi, my name is Zach and I’m an addict”.·Almost everyone I’ve worked with thinks they’re “addicted to porn”.·What if, instead of believing, “Hi, my name is Zach and I’m an addict” we believed something else. ·I used to think that I was addicted to pornography, there was something in my brain that made it so I would return to pornography because I was “powerless against my addiction”. ·I hated it. ·
2020-09-2115 minThrive Beyond PornographyThe Last Time I Started Down the Rabbit HoleThis episode we talk about the most important turning point in our relationship. How things changed for my wife in a way that allowed her to be there in a moment that previously would have been a blow out fight.
2020-09-1323 minThrive Beyond PornographyGet on the MapDownload the roadmap free here: zachspafford.com/roadmapSign up for my free webinar here:https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/1515981173927/WN_9S9QoOmaQwW8fiFYXFYE8gGet on the mapFree webinar on Sunday Sept 13 at 830 Mt time. When I lived in Alaska my friends and I loved to go out into the woods and campI loved the ferns. I loved the birch trees that had such great bark for starting f...
2020-09-0630 min
Confidence Coaching with Heidi BenjaminsenEp. 56 Talking To Teens About Pornography: Interview with Zach SpaffordPornography is very accessible to our teens and we need to have the tools to talk to them about it. Heidi interviews certified life coach Zach Spafford, who specializes in helping men overcome addictive behaviors, for insight into having conversations with our teens. Zach gives incredibly useful tools on what to say, what NOT to say or do (freak out!), why our brains like pornography and hope if anyone you know struggles with this over-desire.
2020-09-0259 min2020-08-3018 minThrive Beyond PornographyOwn your life - 3 keyshttps://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/1515981173927/WN_9S9QoOmaQwW8fiFYXFYE8gMastering pornography means dealing with discomfortA lot of my clients come to me with this one question, why do I behave one way, when I believe I should behave another. A lot of you are listening to this podcast because of pornography use, but this work and all the principles apply to any unwanted behavior that you might be engaging in. But I’m going to use the example of pornography. We ask, “why do I turn t...
2020-08-2426 min
Resentment-Free Relationships76. Pornography Myths with Zach SpaffordPornography myths in the LDS Culture with Zach Spafford. Zachspafford.com
2020-08-2120 minResentment-Free Relationships75. Self Mastery with Zach Spafford Zach Spafford discusses the topic of self mastery and how it can help you be happy with yourself. Zach specializes in how to break through barriers holding you back from becoming who you want to be. If you want to stop being controlled by the urges in your life. Reach out on zachspafford.com or @zachspafford.selfmasterycoach
2020-08-1430 minThrive Beyond PornographyWhat role are you playingRegister for this month's webinar:https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJAzachspafford.comThere are three natural roles that we tend to gravitate to in our relationships with others. Steven Karpman codified these in what he called the drama triangle. Understanding how these roles work can really help each of us figure out where we are in this space and then, ultimately move out of the triangle into the fourth role that is where we all want to...
2020-08-0918 min
Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges18. Pornography+Teens with special guest: Zach SpaffordAs a parent of teens, we can't leave the topic of pornography unaddressed. In this episode, I will introduce you to Zach Spafford, a certified life coach that specializes in overcoming pornography. We discuss common misconceptions, how to educate and help your teen, and what not to do. To learn more about Zach, you can visit his website, https://www.zachspafford.com/ To learn more about working with me, please visit www.heatherfrazier.com
2020-08-0454 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Who you think you are, who you are and who you want to beFollow this link to get the download Zach Takes about during the podcast. https://www.zachspafford.com/podcast-freebieJoin us for this month's free webinar : https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJAwho we think we are, Who we are and who we want to be. This week one of my clients was talking about his life and the choices he had madeHis story, the thing that he believed about his life was, “I didn’t have the courage to make a different choice”
2020-08-0317 minThrive Beyond PornographyWho you think you are, who you are and who you want to beFollow this link to get the download Zach Takes about during the podcast. https://www.zachspafford.com/podcast-freebieJoin us for this month's free webinar : https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJAwho we think we are, Who we are and who we want to be. This week one of my clients was talking about his life and the choices he had madeHis story, the thing that he believed about his life was, “I didn’t have the courage to make a different choice”
2020-08-0317 minThrive Beyond Pornography17 Amazing Lessons From 17 Years of MarriageRegister for the webinar on August 19 at 7 pm Central.https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJA17TH ANNIversary edition. Happy anniversary, This week, in honor of our anniversary, 17 things we’ve learned in our marriage. 1. Number one marriage takes worka. 2. we can do hard things 3. It takes commitment4. stay calm5. follow your path6. assume the best7. : support and encourage your partner. 8. believe in yourself
2020-07-2646 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)How to know if you can trust your spouse againThis is how you can register for the webinar. https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJAor you can go straight to my website:https://www.zachspafford.com/freecallThis is the link to Brene Brown's YouTube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EXMsKZAeL0- Brene brown is talks about this in her SUPERSOUL SESSIONS: THE ANATOMY OF TRUST .- First, Brené references Charles Feltman work on trust and uses his definition. - Which is, ‘trust is choosing to make something important to...
2020-07-1935 minThrive Beyond PornographyHow to know if you can trust your spouse againThis is how you can register for the webinar. https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJAor you can go straight to my website:https://www.zachspafford.com/freecallThis is the link to Brene Brown's YouTube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EXMsKZAeL0- Brene brown is talks about this in her SUPERSOUL SESSIONS: THE ANATOMY OF TRUST .- First, Brené references Charles Feltman work on trust and uses his definition. - Which is, ‘trust is choosing to make something important to...
2020-07-1935 minThrive Beyond PornographyBonus Episode- Pain pursues pleasure, with my friend Diana SwillingerPain that we feel often drives us to pursue pleasure. dianaswillinger.com
2020-07-1627 minThrive Beyond PornographyWanting vs Committed- Do you really want to or is there a part of you that isn’t willing to let it go yet?- Choosing to do this on purpose.- Not waiting until you never look at porn to have the confidence to be a free person- Commitment vs wanting – if you want something that doesn’t mean you will be able to get it.- To want is to desire or wish for something – there is no action required – it is passive- Wanting is really easy – all you have to do is think “I want this”- ...
2020-07-1222 minThrive Beyond Pornography4 Simple steps to stop using pornography#addictionrecoveryzachspafford.com/workwithme1. Write down the websites you will visit that daya. Writing down the websites gives your higher brain control over the situation. b. Why not just write the sites you won’t visit – there are too many to countc. If that day you visit a site that leads to pornography use, evaluate that site for tomorrow. d. 2. Only visit those sitesa. What if I have to visit a site that isn’t on my list for the day? ...
2020-07-0518 minThrive Beyond PornographyYour brain is working perfectlyYou can set up a consultation with me here:zachspafford.com/workwithmeHere's the link to the webinar for July 2020:https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/3515928863411/WN_OJSUbCHSQGi0Ap7WPDC8jg#masterymonday#addictionrecovery#theselfmasterypodcast#latterdaysaintsdealingwithpornographyinmarraige#LDS #latterdaysaints #pornographyrecovery#sarecovery#ldssa#12steps
2020-06-2923 minThrive Beyond PornographyTriggers - a conversation with Darcyregister for this month's webinarhttps://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/3515928863411/WN_OJSUbCHSQGi0Ap7WPDC8jghttp://zachspafford.com.safechkout.net/pricinghttps://www.zachspafford.com/workwithme- What about, giving him sex so he doesn’t act out?o Control v partnershipo - Seeing other women and being worried it will lead to pornography?o The beacho The fro yo place o - Controlling devices and checking upo Accountability partner – webinar question#addictionrecovery...
2020-06-2240 minThrive Beyond PornographyLet me tell you how you should behavehttps://calendly.com/habitcoachz/30minconsultJoin my Monthly webinar:zachspafford.com/freecall#addictionrecovery#theselfmasterypodcast
2020-06-1425 minThrive Beyond PornographyFour Secret Steps To Help Your Spouse Stop Using PornographyIf you want to register for the webinar to help decondition urges and stop using pornography follow this link: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZItcu2vqz4iEtwha5erXQmdgBu9xHjMWQwrIf you want to set up a free consult so you can be in the July 1 Group Coaching Program follow this link: https://calendly.com/habitcoachz/30-min-consult-clone1. Choose loveSo often those who are dealing with spouses that have chosen addictive behavior feel like we are supposed to punish their behavior. In doing that, we lose the perspective of love that we once ha...
2020-06-0829 minThrive Beyond PornographyWillpower is the wrong toolEvery time I meet with a client I hear something along these lines. I try to stop but I just can’t – I have been fighting through this my whole life – My whole world is burning down because of this addiction. I am keeping it at bay, but I want to be free from this.This is the place most of us go to when we try to stop a habit in our lives. Most of us try to use willpower to change our habitsIn fact, I get comments l...
2020-06-0118 minThrive Beyond PornographyPain now or Pain LaterPain now or later. Almost every time I get a new client the first thing that they learn is that they have been putting off their pain. Each of us has discomfort that we deal with on a regular basis. Pain comes in lots of forms, some more painful in a moment than others. Some are physical pains like going to the dentist and others are emotional pain like loneliness. The thing is, that when we avoid painful things in search of short term happiness and pleasure...
2020-05-2412 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Why would my husband lie to me?Why Would my Husband Lie to me? And other questions Wives ask when their spouse uses pornography.Over the last couple of weeks my wife and I have had a number of conversations with a new client and his wife.They had enrolled in my 13 week course and after one session she hadn’t felt like she had seen any changes.This was hard for her because she was dealing with so much pain, so much frustration and so much heartache that his recovery from pornography use was eating away at her. S...
2020-04-2629 minThrive Beyond PornographyWhy would my husband lie to me?Why Would my Husband Lie to me? And other questions Wives ask when their spouse uses pornography.Over the last couple of weeks my wife and I have had a number of conversations with a new client and his wife.They had enrolled in my 13 week course and after one session she hadn’t felt like she had seen any changes.This was hard for her because she was dealing with so much pain, so much frustration and so much heartache that his recovery from pornography use was eating away at her. S...
2020-04-2629 min
The Family Matters Podcast64. Pornography battles w/ Zach SpaffordIn this podcast, I interview Life Coach, Zach Spafford(@self_mastery_coach). Zach teaches LDS men how to stop using pornography. Instead of thinking in terms of having an addiction, that 12 step programs teach one is powerless against, Zach asserts that instead, it is an addictive behavior and something that one can totally conquer.
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Please join me in hearing what Zach has to say about his own recovery as well as the role loved ones, spouses, and even ex spouses can play in someone's life who's battled pornography. As a father of 8, he also throws in a couple of tidbits...
2020-03-2241 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Victim MentalityVictim-hood and the blame game.- Not too many people think or express that they are the victim.- Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior- Indicators of victim mentality.- Blameo If my spouse would just meet my needs bettero If I just hadn’t looked at porn that first timeo If my church leaders would just help me moreo The house clean on ramsey –o If only the circumstance was differento Ask yourself, do I blame anyone els...
2020-03-1619 minThrive Beyond PornographyVictim MentalityVictim-hood and the blame game.- Not too many people think or express that they are the victim.- Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior- Indicators of victim mentality.- Blameo If my spouse would just meet my needs bettero If I just hadn’t looked at porn that first timeo If my church leaders would just help me moreo The house clean on ramsey –o If only the circumstance was differento Ask yourself, do I blame anyone els...
2020-03-1619 min
Simply Resilient - A Podcast For Military WivesEpisode 35 - Buffering with Zach SpaffordOn the podcast today I share an episode that I did with life coach Zach Spafford from The Self Mastery Podcast about buffering. We talk about what buffering is, why our lower brain offers it to us as a solution to resolve discomfort, what we can do instead and how, and how all of this relates to military life particularly when it comes to the challenges, loneliness, and discomfort of deployments. Enjoy!
2020-03-1140 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Why feelings matter - with Darcy SpaffordFeelingsThe big question that comes up as I coach clients, whether they are trying to stop an addictive behavior or they are just trying to show up as the man or woman that they want to be, really captures the battle that we have every day over who we are and the behaviors we exhibit. Why do I want … ?Why do I want to earn a million dollars? Why do I want to become a doctor? Why do I want to get married? Why...
2020-01-2723 minThrive Beyond PornographyWhy feelings matter - with Darcy SpaffordFeelingsThe big question that comes up as I coach clients, whether they are trying to stop an addictive behavior or they are just trying to show up as the man or woman that they want to be, really captures the battle that we have every day over who we are and the behaviors we exhibit. Why do I want … ?Why do I want to earn a million dollars? Why do I want to become a doctor? Why do I want to get married? Why...
2020-01-2723 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)The Story of Zach and Darcy - Interview with Natalie ClayThis week on the podcast, my friend Natalie Clay interviews Darcy and I. It is a great chat and a great chance to hear from Darcy, who I talk about often but we don't hear from enough on the podcast. Thanks to Natalie for interviewing us and sharing us with her audience. You can check her out at natalieclay.com or listen to her podcast Couples Coaching with Natalie Clay. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-coaching-with-natalie-clay/id1459950159
2020-01-2037 minThrive Beyond PornographyThe Story of Zach and Darcy - Interview with Natalie ClayThis week on the podcast, my friend Natalie Clay interviews Darcy and I. It is a great chat and a great chance to hear from Darcy, who I talk about often but we don't hear from enough on the podcast. Thanks to Natalie for interviewing us and sharing us with her audience. You can check her out at natalieclay.com or listen to her podcast Couples Coaching with Natalie Clay. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-coaching-with-natalie-clay/id1459950159
2020-01-2037 min
The Luminous Mind Podcast | A show about you becoming your best self through unconventional thinkingEpisode 246 - Zach Spafford, Thinking Through Addiction DifferentlyThis episode is with Zach Spafford on first thinking through addiction through creative ways to become your best self and how that fits with an article from James Clear titled, "How to Say No, Resist Temptation, and Stick to Your Healthy Goals." Check out our show notes
2020-01-161h 07Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)3 things to build the person you want to beI can’t keep going like this. Darcy caught me. I had been looking at inappropriate pictures on my company laptop when she thought every thing with my pornography problem was behind us. We were suffering through a really difficult miscarriage and I was turning back to the old things that made me feel better whenever I was feeling less than good. She was furious. She threw that laptop down the stairs, along with some laundry detergent and...
2019-12-0213 minThrive Beyond Pornography3 things to build the person you want to beI can’t keep going like this. Darcy caught me. I had been looking at inappropriate pictures on my company laptop when she thought every thing with my pornography problem was behind us. We were suffering through a really difficult miscarriage and I was turning back to the old things that made me feel better whenever I was feeling less than good. She was furious. She threw that laptop down the stairs, along with some laundry detergent and...
2019-12-0213 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)The 12 steps are probably not working for youThe 12 steps are probably not working for you.I started attending 12 step meetings in 2007. I also went to meetings sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, of which I am a member. Those Church sanctioned meetings were full of guys that were pretty similar to me. No one had committed a crime (I don't think) in pursuit of their sexual desires, but none of them seemed able to overcome their pornography use either. So every week for a number of years I would sit in the...
2019-10-1327 minThrive Beyond PornographyThe 12 steps are probably not working for youThe 12 steps are probably not working for you.I started attending 12 step meetings in 2007. I also went to meetings sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, of which I am a member. Those Church sanctioned meetings were full of guys that were pretty similar to me. No one had committed a crime (I don't think) in pursuit of their sexual desires, but none of them seemed able to overcome their pornography use either. So every week for a number of years I would sit in the...
2019-10-1327 minThrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)Believe - it is the key to changeWould you like to work with Zach?Set up a free session at zachspafford.com/workwithme
2019-10-1011 minThrive Beyond PornographyBelieve - it is the key to changeWould you like to work with Zach?Set up a free session at zachspafford.com/workwithme
2019-10-1011 min