Shows
Hey Tabi!Why Being Kind To Yourself Feels So Hard - Explaining BackdraftEver tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment.Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're actually beginning to heal. We explore how backdraft manifests emotionally, mentally, physically, and behaviorally, providing concrete strategies to work through these intense responses. From naming your ex...
2025-08-2520 minHey Tabi!Self-compassion - A Vital Step in Trauma HealingTrauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery.• Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification• Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, making us hypercritical and feeling isolated in our pain• Scripture shows God's compassionate heart toward us - "He knows how we are formed. He remembers we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14)
2025-08-1829 minHey Tabi!What If They Aren’t a Narcissist After All?Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to reclaim your clarity and safety. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that may change the language you use about this forever. Listen...
2025-08-1124 minHey Tabi!The Hidden Crisis in Male Sexuality with Sam JolmanIs male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients thro...
2025-08-0444 minHey Tabi!A Raw Conversation on Jesus, Women, and WorthWhat if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen.We dive deep into:Why the gospel is more than behavior modificationHow the church has mishandled women’s storiesThe truth about Gomer, identity, and self-destructionHow legalism sneaks into our hearts, even when we know betterWhy trauma-informed theology mattersHolding both grace and truth in messy, beautiful tensionElyse also shares...
2025-07-2855 minHey Tabi!If We’re "Doers of the Word’"… Why is the Church Still Failing VictimsWhat does it really mean to be a "doer of the Word" like it says in the book of James?In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Neil Schori, pastor, father, and Director of Church Partnerships at Called to Peace Ministries, to tackle how being doers of the Word should make churches look. Together, they unpack James 1:22-27 and challenge what it really means to “be doers of the word.” Spoiler: it’s not about ignoring abuse.You’ll hear real talk on:How churches unintentionally side wit...
2025-07-2137 minHey Tabi!Why Standard Evangelical Sex Advice Is Wrecking Marriages - with Sheila Wray GregoireWhat if the marriage advice you were taught in church is actually what's ruining your marriage?In this powerful and data-backed conversation, author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Tabitha to unpack the myths evangelical culture has fed us about sex, submission, and "roles" in marriage and how those messages have led to entitlement, emotional immaturity, and deep harm for both men and women.In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with author, podcaster, and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire (BareMarriage.com) to dive deep into the...
2025-07-1447 minHey Tabi!When Kindness Is a Trap: The Truth About Manipulative Kindness in Abusive RelationshipsWhat if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships.This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift.You’ll learn:What manipulative kindness looks like in real lifeWhy it feels so good—and why that’s part of the trapHow tra...
2025-07-0720 minHey Tabi!Is the Evangelical Church A Sex Addict? What No One Wants to AdmitWhat if the church's problem isn't ignoring sex, but being obsessed with it in all the wrong ways? Does the Church really function like a sex addict? This provocative question frames our exploration into how evangelical Christianity's approach to sexuality has created environments where abuse thrives and healthy intimacy struggles to exist.The fingerprints of this unhealthy fixation appear everywhere—from crude pulpit talk to the hyper-focus on female modesty while neglecting male accountability. Purity culture has left countless believers without the language to identify abuse or the tools to build truly intimate relationships. Behind chu...
2025-06-3024 minHey Tabi!Holy Shift: Deconstructing Without Losing GodWhat if what you were taught about God isn't what God actually wanted you to believe?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into what happens when our theology has been shaped by fear, shame, spiritual abuse, or coercive control. If you've ever questioned your faith because of how it was used against you, this episode offers permission to wrestle, reexamine, and rebuild.Tabitha explores:How faith gets twisted in abusive environmentsThe weaponization of submission, forgiveness, and sufferingWhat deconstruction really means (and why it’s not a di...
2025-06-1627 minHey Tabi!The King's Crime: Uncovering the Rape of BathshebaDid King David commit adultery—or was it something much darker? In this deeply important episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook examines the true story of David and Bathsheba. Spoiler: It’s not the sanitized ‘affair’ we’ve often been told. It’s a story of power, coercion, and sexual violence—rape by a man in power.Join us as we read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, challenge cultural and spiritual myths that have silenced victims for centuries, and explore how this ancient abuse of power still echoes in today’s world—especially in the church. We’ll talk...
2025-06-0921 min
The Growth BlueprintLeadership, Community & Belonging with Tabitha May-Tolub, TMT Consulting In this powerful episode, Chris Rappold sits down with his co-host Tabitha May- Tolub, Principal and Founder of TMT Consulting, for an honest conversation about what it truly means to lead with authenticity. Together, they dive into the heart of today's leadership challenges — from navigating ego and embracing conflict, to the transformative impact of creating real belonging. Tabitha shares hard-earned insights and inspiring stories that reveal how discomfort can be a catalyst for growth, both personally and organizationally. Her bold vision with TMT Consulting? To empower leaders to build spaces where every person feels seen, heard, and valued — and ultim...
2025-05-2829 minHey Tabi!What If You Never "Get Over It"? Chuck DeGroat on Trauma, Compassion, and the Long Road to HealingIs healing from trauma ever really “finished?" In this compelling episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist and host Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Chuck DeGroat—therapist, pastor, and author of "Healing What’s Within"—to unpack the long journey of trauma recovery, especially in faith-based spaces.Together, they explore:What it means when trauma lingers for decadesWhy “getting over it” isn’t always the goalHow to practice self-compassion when your nervous system says you're not safeThe connection between developmental trauma, spiritual abuse, and physical illnessWhat churches often get wrong about trauma—and what survivo...
2025-05-2646 minHey Tabi!When Niceness Isn't Kindness: The Hard Work of Batterer InterventionWhat does true repentance look like for someone who has abused their partner? Is real change possible—and if so, what does it take?In this hard-hitting episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor, biblical counselor, and domestic abuse interventionist Chris Moles to dig into the gritty realities of faith-based perpetrator intervention. Together, they unpack:- Why traditional couples counseling fails in abuse cases- What the Men of Peace program teaches about accountability and repentance- How coercive control distorts a person’s view of love, intimacy, and...
2025-05-1950 minHey Tabi!Clergy Sexual Abuse in the Church: What No One Wants to Talk About with Dr. David PoolerIn this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. David Pooler—professor of social work, licensed clinical social worker, and director of the Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse Advocacy and Research Collaborative. Together, they tackle one of the most urgent yet under-discussed issues facing faith communities today: adult clergy sexual abuse.From the psychology of abusive leaders to the church's mishandling of sexual misconduct, Tabitha and Dr. Pooler explore how trauma, theology, and power intersect in devastating ways—and how survivors can lead the way toward healing and justice. They discuss ever...
2025-05-121h 04
Soma FlowHealing the Mother WoundSend us a textHealing from the mother wound requires confronting one of our deepest and most painful traumas. In this raw and vulnerable episode, Tabitha shares her personal journey through narcissistic family systems and how this wounding creates patterns that persistently sabotage our relationships, health, finances, and sense of self-worth.The mother wound isn't just personal—it's a societal pandemic creating generations of insecure attachment. When unhealed, this wound bleeds through family systems, tearing apart relationships and perpetuating cycles of pain. Most troublingly, even after removing toxic relationships from our lives, we often continue th...
2025-05-0638 minHey Tabi!Are You The Nagging Woman Proverbs Talks About?Have you ever feared being seen as the "nagging wife" from Proverbs? You're not alone.In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with women's leader and author Kelly Galyean to explore how biblical illiteracy has fueled shame and silence for many Christian women. Together, they unpack how Scripture has often been misunderstood or weaponized—especially in the context of marriage, trauma, and abuse.Kelly vulnerably shares her story of learning about these verses in context, and with courage and hope. They also discuss how the church can better su...
2025-05-0552 minHey Tabi!Weaponized Scripture - How Biblical Literacy Can Save Trauma Survivors from Spiritual AbuseIf you've ever had Scripture twisted to keep you silent, ashamed, or stuck in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down why biblical literacy is a critical part of healing after abuse, coercive control, and spiritual harm.You'll learn:📖 What true biblical literacy is (and why it's different from memorizing random verses)❌ How abusers misuse Scripture to manipulate and control survivors✝ Why understanding the Bible for yourself can be a powerful tool for reclaiming your voice and your faith🙌🏼 How to try out di...
2025-04-2830 minHey Tabi!Powerful Affirmations Every Trauma Survivor Needs to HearIn the beginning was the Word. Jesus spoke everything into existence. We know when we've been traumatized the words spoken over us are curses. Those curses often replay like a horrific record. Today we’re breaking chains and speaking life.Healing from trauma requires breaking the chains of harmful words spoken over us and replacing them with life-giving truth that restores our sense of dignity, worth, and value.Speaking life over ourselves counteracts the curses and negative messages that trauma imprints on usGod never aligns with abusive structures, systems, or individualsSpiritual abuse distorts God's voice and we...
2025-04-2119 minHey Tabi!What No One Tells You About Using Your VoiceWhat No One Tells You About Using Your Voice After TraumaIn this powerful episode of the Hey Tabi podcast, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks the often untold truth about what happens when survivors start to use their voice after trauma. Drawing from her expertise in domestic abuse, coercive control, and Christian trauma recovery, Tabitha explores the emotional, relational, and systemic risks that can arise when you begin speaking your truth.You’ll learn how reclaiming your voice can lead to life-changing healing—but also...
2025-04-1425 minHey Tabi!5 Powerful Steps to Transform Your Healing Journey🔥 Ready to FINALLY Break Free From Your Trauma? LISTEN TO THIS! 🔥Are you exhausted from feeling stuck, numb, and unable to heal from past hurts? In just about 20 minutes, discover 5 POWERFUL STEPS that can completely transform your healing journey! Trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook reveals practical, life-changing insights into recognizing trauma, creating safety, finding specialized support, and building healthy community and connection—even if you've been hurt before.You'll learn how to: ✨ Clearly identify and articulate your trauma experience. ✨ Recognize hidden signs of trauma's impact on your body and mind. ...
2025-04-0726 minHey Tabi!Healing from Sexual Trauma: The Truth Christian Women Are Afraid to Talk AboutWhat happens when your deepest wounds are intertwined with your body, your faith, and your sexuality—the very things intended to foster joy, life, and connection? Today, we're courageously confronting the silence surrounding sexual trauma within Christian spaces.Tabitha Westbrook sits down with her friend & colleague, Colleen Ramser, to discuss her new book Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control.In this episode, Colleen and Tabi discuss:Sexual trauma is widespread but rarely discussed in church settings, leaving many Christian women without language to pr...
2025-03-3127 minHey Tabi!🌟 The Power of Being Seen: Narrative-Focused Trauma Care Explained 🌟Have you ever felt the weight of your story, but didn't know how to share it or if you even should share it? In this powerful episode, we explore the transformative approach of narrative-focused trauma care, also known as "story work." Discover how telling your story can rewrite your life, reclaim your identity, and heal the deep wounds of complex trauma.🔑 In this episode, you'll learn:What Complex Trauma Is: Understand how chronic, repeated interpersonal experiences (like childhood abuse, spiritual abuse, coercive control, emotional neglect, and domestic violence) profoundly impact your emotional, phy...
2025-03-2427 minHey Tabi!Reclaiming Your Body After Sexual Trauma | Hey Tabi PodcastReconnecting with our bodies after sexual trauma can feel impossible, but embodiment practices offer a genuine pathway to healing. In this transformative episode, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks why sexual assault survivors often disconnect from their bodies and how this protective mechanism eventually hinders recovery.The statistics are sobering—one in five women experience sexual assault, usually by someone they trust. This violation creates a complex web of shame, self-blame, and confusion that leaves many survivors feeling at war with their own bodies. Tabitha compassionately explains how abusers—particularly those in positions of trust or spiritual authority—manipu...
2025-03-1726 minHey Tabi!Finding a Healthy Community: A Pathway to Healing and WholenessWelcome to Hey Tabi, the podcast where we talk about the hard things out loud—with our actual lips! In today's episode, we're diving deep into the essential but often challenging topic of finding healthy community after traumatic experiences and abuse. Whether you've experienced harm within a faith community, survived domestic abuse, or found yourself isolated after leaving an oppressive relationship, rebuilding healthy connections is crucial to your emotional and physical well-being.Licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook shares insightful and practical steps on how to safely re-engage with community, set effective boundaries, and identify communities that genuinely su...
2025-03-1025 minHey Tabi!When EMDR is Not Right: When Something Else is Better | Hey TabiIs EMDR therapy right for everyone? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down when EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) might not be the best approach for trauma recovery.You'll learn:✅ Why EMDR may not be suitable for clients in unsafe environments or those struggling with emotional regulation.✅ How dissociation, unresolved trauma, or prior negative EMDR experiences can impact effectiveness.✅ Top alternative trauma therapies like Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Narrative Therapy.
2025-03-0320 minHey Tabi!Stop Believing the Lies: Debunking EMDR Myths | Hey Tabi Podcast🚨 Is EMDR just hypnosis? Is it unbiblical? Is it dangerous? 🚨In this episode of Hey Tabi, we dive deep into the myths and misconceptions surrounding EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a powerful trauma therapy. If you've heard skepticism—especially from Christian circles—about EMDR, this episode is for you!🔹 What You'll Learn: ✅ The science behind EMDR and how it rewires the brain ✅ Why the Veterans Administration and leading trauma experts endorse it ✅ How EMDR aligns with Christian faith and biblical healing ✅ Why it’s not hypnosis...
2025-02-2423 minHey Tabi!Safe Church: Elevating Women's Voices and Exposing Abuse in the Church - With Dr. Andrew BaumanIn this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, host Tabitha Westbrook, licensed trauma therapist and abuse expert, sits down with Dr. Andrew Bauman, founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma.Dr. Bauman shares insights from his latest book, Safe Church, tackling the intersection of mental health, faith, and sexism in church culture. He opens up about his personal transformation—from battling his own sexist biases and pornography use as a pastor to becoming a leading advocate against church-based abuse.Together, th...
2025-02-1733 minHey Tabi!The Miracle of the Mundane: Discover the Simple Moments That Can Transform Your LifeWelcome to Hey Tabi, the podcast where we talk about hard things out loud and explore the intersection of mental health and the Christian faith.In this episode, we dive into the miracle of the mundane—those everyday moments that spark awe and wonder, even when life feels overwhelming. From practicing gratitude to noticing the little pockets of peace (think a quiet minute in a busy day or a stunning sunset), we’ll explore how these small gifts help us stay grounded, reduce anxiety, and reconnect with hope. If you’ve been feeling the weight of lif...
2025-02-1020 minHey Tabi!What He’s NOT Telling You: The Truth About Therapeutic Disclosure with Expert Dan DrakeWelcome to Hey Tabi! Many survivors and betrayed partners have been ambushed with what they were told was a therapeutic disclosure of their partner's problematic sexual behavior or addiction. What actually happened was not therapeutic, was not a full disclosure, and left the partner more traumatized. In this episode, I sit down with Dan Drake, LMFT, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CCPS-S, a leading expert in sex addiction recovery and therapeutic disclosure. We dive into what therapeutic disclosure should actually look like, especially for betrayed partners.Topics we cover:✅ Wha...
2025-02-0341 min