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Baitline
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BAITLINE
Nymphsons Did It!
Nymphsons did it! Nymphsons did it! *** it appears we've become a show of pitches. remember when we said we'd be back back back (again)? well not quite. see, zak was supposed to bring new pitches to the sharks (xander) fer episodes this season [yes yes fine we'll call this season 3. goddammit. really fuckin lucy from peanuts'ing ourselves here]. and then we'd try out a scene 'r two. but instead he took xander's bigole t-infected nose and shoved it in the rss feed of megahit trans podcast... The Simpsons. i mean, The Read. fuck...
2024-04-27
47 min
BAITLINE
Yu-Gi-No!
with special guest... Deven! *** lost between ideas and seasons, Xander pitches tHe BoYs an audio drama we will toooootally make. and you might be like "woah is time a flat circle?" because boy-howdy do we keep repeating entire sections of the conversation like blabbermouth goldfish. anyways, it's time to P-P-P-P--PPPP-POO(uel) 🥴 ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2024-04-08
45 min
BAITLINE
The Fart Trilogy: Go PP in the Gouthouse
Steve... upstairs... there's a body-ody-ody *** zak and xan finish up they/them/their lil chat trilogy / bridge of seasons / un-deadening of the feed with sum piping hott ttea on a baton rouge slumlord who is unfortunately no longer with us, or his wife, but he's probably still kickin around... somewhere idk. this is the story of Gouthouse. returning to totally not canned programming soon
2024-03-17
21 min
BAITLINE
The Fart Trilogy: The News
we havent been gone idk wht yer tlkng abt, dg. *** totally normal . bringing you up-to-the-minute ho t fresh ready news JOURNALISM and held beliefs of ppl on tape. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2024-02-04
18 min
BAITLINE
The Fart Trilogy: Stink Noise
zak doesnt like farts *** this convo is from right after Beau is Afraid left theatres. we came up with Heaux is Afraid right after this lil ep recording
2023-11-04
31 min
BAITLINE
Heaux is Afraid
you been havin real bad dreams. uh oh. *** long. pointless. could be cut by 1/3. full of mismatched cameos and 4ucked up bullshit. just brilliant. but that's the story of beau. this is the story of a heaux. fuelled by post surgical meds and momhate, we bring you our freighter-paced opus, Heaux is Afraid. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-10-25
1h 07
BAITLINE
I Try to Talk to You Like a Sister
oop. time ta go. *** zak and xan sit down fer a short chat as they feverishly edit other episodes and "hold down" jobs. hmmmm what's here? uh... Tall Girl 2020 // Hassidic Drag Race // Zak Gets The Staircase'd // "truss rods" // Tall Girl 4 Prison! // It's Giving Tree ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-10-19
23 min
BAITLINE
The Ones Who Walk Away From Ogaylas
not all who cum... stay. sum walk away. *** ok so aparently ppl say "OH-muh-LASS" not "oh-MAY-luss" so this joke barely works. blame my fuckin elementary school teachers. also xander had asshole surgery so this is a STANDING POD. she can't do a whole lot but boy can she still bang that fuckin soundbored. hopefully there are no ~unforseen side effects~ of the nip or the tuck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-10-11
30 min
BAITLINE
OPERATION: DEATHSTROKE
for the good of mankind, He must stroke it. *** the girls? they wanna have fun. the boys? they wanna serve our nation. not cunt. not the house down. our boys wanna serve up the sweet sweet nectar of political assassination and the destruction of Ameri(JF)KKKa. in a chat ep gone wrong, zak and xan present the story of Deathstroke! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-10-03
32 min
BAITLINE
Season One (Is Over)
it's still another season folx. and we're still sayin it. *** zak and xan sit down fer a good ole chat ep with the soundbored. things we're askin this week: what's the bit fer season two? what is a season two? and how do you season yer twos for a low-n-slow roast in the oven? while i have no answers for wahtever i just typed, i know i am typing a second bit where i say "what i do know is... season two comes when Season One Is Over, bby..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the...
2023-09-27
55 min
BAITLINE
The Zak Lanius Show
zak is back! and everything is fine! *** [tk description] ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-09-19
1h 06
BAITLINE
hey zak. where y'at?
szn1 cutting room floor special. zak is gone. *** well its its a second season and its a clips-- its the second season and this is n't the trope of someone being gone in the episode and then THEN coming back because i don't knoW WHERE ZAK IS! are yout here? in the meantime. here are some fun bits. - xander ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-09-13
36 min
BAITLINE
The Walkman Tapes
"and what... pray tell, does a podcast do to help people?" *** zak asks xander for help with talking to people about the show. then, zak talks to people. this is that. ~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-01-13
48 min
BAITLINE
The Try Goys: Show and Tell Special
goy = girl & boy . don't @ me *** zak and xan swap ""cultural artifacts"' to illuminate each other to the plights and pleasures of their "ppl". but we're not kickin' back watchin american soccer with a Brewskiiiii or walking into any given room and making everything about yourself. no no. we're swapping real culture. talkin pain. talkin mind-altering subtances. talkin blooooooooood. may the Gods of Destruction and Libation smile upon sally hanson's pasty, gritty, titty assh*ole. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet!
2023-01-07
59 min
BAITLINE
Music Time
zak and xan "cut" an "album" *** 'twas the night before xander's first HRT appointment, and [tk -b]. [tk- a (ryhmes with "appointment"], [tk- b]. ernge was drunk, but far from a louse. he pulled out his keyboard, and xander a laptop. they played some music while drinking these bad shots. praline alcohol pervaded the air, as screams and songbirds... hung... excitement -- uh, with care. /// ok i'm done. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod...
2022-12-23
46 min
BAITLINE
Southern Fried DecaDON'T
xander went to decadence. zak has questions. *** toot toot. beep BEEP. got another live, not late, totally happening Right Now episode with clear-eyed, hot, fresh, steaming drama at the HEIGHT of tension. in this one we got broken glass, broken relationships, and broken promises. also a broken file so we had to start over and stitch it together. we share this convo as an unnumbered, uncatalogued, Non-Indexed list of DON'Ts for any Southern Decadence experience
2022-12-16
35 min
BAITLINE
SUCKSESSION
disrupt dicksucking. disrupt dumptruck fucking. disrupt everything! *** this week zak and xander take a deep-dive into Succession fanfiction classic The More the Merrier written by visionary poster, Ioper (eye-OH-purr?). this was supposed to be a 15min bit "warm up" that became a saga of lust, longing, devil's dick 3sums, and the haunting music of nicklus brittle. truly the most beautiful, insightful, thought-provoking conversation about WarnerMedia asset Succession that never was. we loooved spending the finite amount of life we got so we could read this instant-classic (a la Cars 2006). in closing - if you work a...
2022-12-07
53 min
BAITLINE
Say It!
zak and xan pilot a game show. *** 2022 is the Year of the Faggot. present-day acceptance and transformation of the word faggot is unlike anything the world has ever seen before. some choose to reclaim. some choose to scorn. a few just cum spontaneously. but! this movement is not just in the hands of the tranz or gayes. after all, movies like “BROS” “Blonde” and “Dallas Buyers Club 2” made the Cissexual American Public better able to express when and where they see a faggot. with a small amount of cash, microphones we don’t own, and a thi...
2022-11-30
39 min
BAITLINE
t-4-Tina
a series of origin stories. *** elon musk falls in love with an elephant // a room full of corners // golden girls do nasal spray k // *crying, stomping down the marble staircase* did you suck his cock??? // xander stops fisting and starts footing... her own moUTH! // NEW WORKOUt ROUTINE // got big titties and a big dick // a lonely man asks, please - please cum in me ~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet
2022-11-23
59 min
BAITLINE
The SoundBored
welcome to the show. *** toni collete and madelyn ashton scissor in the tree house // aruthur morgan gets mindblowing head from a horse // scooby doo comes out as a 'rumdump' // zak and xander get 'plur' // we mourn the loss of king alex jones // all of us pretend this conversation isn't months old on arrival ~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet
2022-11-16
1h 01
BAITLINE
"trailer"
shit to come! truly! shit!!
2022-10-27
01 min
The Bait Buffet
Baitline NBC
I left
2022-06-15
1h 01