Shows
My Racist FriendEpisode 4.12: Shaquita and Billy BobAmy and Don Griffin, Jr. talk about what comes next on the eve of the 2024 U.S. Election and the need to take care of each other by nurturing mutuality in community.
Some resources mentioned in this episode:
The Practice of Mutuality
https://www.bloomingtoncenterforconnection.org/2024/11/the-practice-of-mutuality/
Plan B Cheat Sheet (PDF)
https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/PlanBCheat-10-26-22.pdf
The Explosive Child
https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm
Depolarizing Public Discussion: Strategies for Disagreeing Better
https://www.celpr.com/depolarizing-public-discussion-strategies-for-disagreeing-better/
Column: New jail...2024-11-0635 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.11: Disparity TrapGame developer Christian Telesmar, creator of 'Disparity Trap', joins Amy and Don Griffin, Jr. in a crossover episode with the "Cadre" podcast to discuss Christian's board game about the game of real life. Christian explains the origins of the game and joins Don in speculating about expansion rules.
Christian Telesmar attended college at the University of Washington (UW) with the intent of pursuing medical school but fell in love with theatre and knew that’s where he was meant to be. After graduating from the University of Washington’s Master of Fine Arts (MFA) Acting program, he relo...2024-09-0148 min
Cadres01e13 - The Disparity TrapGame developer Christian Telesmar, creator of 'Disparity Trap', joins Amy, Kevin, and Don Griffin, Jr. in a crossover episode with "My Racist Friend" to discuss Christian's board game about the game of real life. Christian explains the origins of the game, and Amy highlights two new RCT concepts: Desire for More and Strategies of Disconnection.
Christian Telesmar will provide the keynote presentation on Friday, September 6 as part of the upcoming 2024 Relational Summit on Playful Connection. Don will be on a panel playing Disparity Trap during that session.
Some resources mentioned in this episode:
...2024-08-0426 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.10: Let It BurnIn this episode, hosts Don and Amy discuss the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia, a tragic and often overlooked part of American history. They delve into the background of the MOVE organization, the events leading up to the bombing, and the aftermath, including the impact on the surrounding neighborhood. The conversation also touches on broader themes of racism, police brutality, and the challenges of fostering meaningful dialogue about these critical issues.
Resources and topics mentioned in this episode:
• "The Africas VS. America: Remembering one of the deadliest instances of police violence in U.S. history" (po...2024-07-0237 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.09: Here To Help - A Tribute to Dr. Dolores Finger WrightAmy and Don discuss the loss of a dear friend and colleague, Dr. Dolores Finger Wright, by reflecting on their brief experiences with her and her impact in how she lived.
This podcast includes excerpts from Dr. Wright's appearance on this podcast in 2019 (season 1, episode 8) and clips from her appearance in the 2017 documentary "Tell Them We Are Rising: The Story of Black Colleges and Universities" which highlight her experiences organizing the 1960 Greensboro Sit-In.
We dearly miss you, Dr. Wright.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
• Clip of "Tell Them We Are Rising" (Fa...2024-04-2032 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.08: Move and Be MovedDon and Amy play with the RCT Toybox cards, focusing on a discussion around three concepts: relational movement, guilt, and calm.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
• "Wired to Connect" (book)
https://amybanksmd.com/#av-tab-section-1-2-link
• "The Jenks Presents Wired To Connect with Amy Banks, M D" (video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBzQjieV7pY
My Racist Friend is a podcast about the messy parts of relationships that help us grow together. Long-time friends Don Griffin, Jr. and Amy Makice, LCSW, enter into a transparent and ongoing...2024-04-0328 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.07: The Country LaneAmy and Don dive into the intricacies of popular music and the persistent racism evident in how we react to it. They react to Beyoncé's new hit "Texas Hold'em" and her venture into the country genre, looking at the resistance from certain factions of society and questioning the inherent racial prejudice within it.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
• "Beyoncé - TEXAS HOLD 'EM (Music Video)" posted by rauhlren
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycwtqqhV6UE
• "Beyoncé Fan’s Radio Request Reignites Country Music Debate" (NY Times, February 14, 2024, by Emily Schmall)
https...2024-03-1418 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.06: Quiet As a Sleeping ArmyDon and Amy contemplate Paul Simon lyrics to prompt a discussion of shared suffering and challenges of staying engaged to work toward better things. Other topics along the way include finding a purpose for persisting, news of the death of Nex Benedict, being authentic about your own pain, and love's powerful role in driving life.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
• "The Cool, Cool River" lyrics by Paul Simon
https://www.paulsimon.com/track/the-cool-cool-river-6/
• "A Federal Investigation Has Been Launched Into Nex Benedict's School District" (Them, March 4, 2024, by James Factor)
The Depa...2024-03-0633 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.05: Relational ImagesIn this episode, Don and Amy are discuss two RCT concepts: Model Me and Relational Images, those unconscious expectations that shape our interactions. Along the way, the pair talk about self-perceived flaws, binge-watching habits, societal pressures, and negativity fueling success.
My Racist Friend is a podcast about the messy parts of relationships that help us grow together. Long-time friends Don Griffin, Jr. and Amy Makice, LCSW, enter into a transparent and ongoing conversation about complicated and difficult topics such as racism, gender, and social justice. Through the authentic lens of their strong mutual relationship, their goal is...2024-02-2921 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.04: Katt and Cats and Chicken and T-RexesDon and Amy are joined by Jay Filer, a therapist-in-training at the Bloomington Center for Connection, to take a tour of Black Joy (specifically, their Black joy) found on social media. The conversation covers struggles with and benefits of use of social media, as well as some examples of what makes Jay laugh.
After this conversation, TikTok removed sound from many videos due to a copyright dispute with Universal. It is unclear when or if the soundtracks of some of Jay's video links will be restored, but if there is no sound, that is likely why.
2024-02-0735 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.03: A Full Moon in Each EyeIn this episode, hosts Amy Makice and Don Griffin Jr. delve into a thought-provoking conversation about the media's role in shaping perspectives and in turn, dividing society. The discussion ventures into the RCT concepts of "Model Me" and "Not Me" by Dr. Maureen Walker, exploring how extreme identification and fear can obstruct empathy, leading to conflicts.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
"Admit Something" (Hafiz)
https://www.centerforcompassionateleadership.org/admit-something-by-hafiz
"A Few Notes on Love" (The Irreverent Psychologist, 2011)
https://irreverentpsychologist.blogspot.com/2011/02/few-notes-on-love.html
My Racist Friend is...2024-01-3122 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.02: I Know, You Know?Don and Amy resume their conversation together with a discussion about needing to feel smart, the ignorance of believing you know everything, and being around people who are willing to work through mistakes.
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
Tyriq Memorial Fund (GoFundMe)
https://www.gofundme.com/f/tyriq-memorial-fund
Neighbor of house party where 23-year-old fatally shot: ‘We were very lucky’ (WISH-TV)
https://www.wishtv.com/news/i-team-8/neighbors-narrowly-miss-gunfire-at-fatal-house-party-shooting/
My Racist Friend is a podcast about the messy parts of relationships that help us grow together. Long-time friends Don Griffin, Jr. and...2024-01-2434 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 4.01: EssentialismAmy and Don return from a long hiatus to continue their conversations about relationships and the messy parts that make connection difficult. This week, the friends discuss Essentialism, which is found in many social movements and intertwines with racism, transphobia, and the roots of feminism. Amy provides a definition of essentialism and why it is so difficult for her to move through that blocker in relationships.
Additional resources:
Gender essentialism and benevolent sexism in anti-trans rhetoric
by S. Atwood, Thekla Morgenroth, Kristina R. Olson (2023)
https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/sipr.12099?af=R
2024-01-1729 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.11: Making Room for Cognitive DissonanceThis week, Amy and Don welcome Dr. Froswa' Booker-Drew into their conversation. Dr. Booker-Drew is the Vice President of Community Affairs & Strategic Alliances for the State Fair of Texas and shares some of her experiences and insights working with the non-profit community.
Additional resources:
"Froswa' Booker-Drew: A Champion for South Dallas Nonprofits" (Dallas Doing Good, by Roselle Tenorio)
https://www.dallasdoinggood.com/doing-good/froswa-booker-drew-a-champion-for-south-dallas-nonprofits
Marybeth Gasman (Wikipedia)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marybeth_Gasman
"United Way Scandal Puts New Focus on Nonprofit Pay Levels" (Los Angeles Times, by Matt Marshall, Mary 14, 1992)
https://www.la...2021-03-3043 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.10: Mission DriftPrompted by announcements of a price increase for water services and a home-buying incentive to attract new police officers, Amy and Don discuss the complexities of government funding and the mission of policing, sharing some stories of encounters where police were called.
Additional resources:
"Bloomington City Council Approves 18% Water Rate Increase Starting In 2022" (Indiana Public Media, by Ethan Burks, March 18, 2021)
https://indianapublicmedia.org/news/city-council-approves-cbu-water-rate-increase-starting-in-2022.php
"Bloomington Outlines Incentives To Attract New Police Officers" (Indiana Public Media, by Adam Pinsker, March 12, 2021)
https://indianapublicmedia.org/news/bloomington-outlines-incentivestoattract-new-police-officers.php
"Bloomington City Council approves $166 million city budget fo...2021-03-2527 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.09: Fighting TimeDon and Amy welcome back Dr. Amy Banks, who brings her co-author, Isaac Knapper, to discuss their upcoming book, "Fighting Time"—a story of their 36-year journey from murder to meeting. Dr. Banks' father, Ronald, was shot and killed on April 29, 1979, as he left the Hyatt Regency hotel in New Orleans. Isaac, who along with Amy was 16 at the time, was wrongfully convicted of the murder and sentenced to life imprisonment without parole in the Louisiana State Penitentiary. She and her younger sister, Nancy, traveled to meet and ultimately befriend Isaac in 2015.
Additional resources:
"Fighting Ti...2021-03-1741 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.08: Mr. Griffin Goes to Morton StreetDon confirms his good news about a role change that will have him playing a large role in bridging and resolving issues within the Bloomington community. Amy shares her joy for Don as he takes on a new challenge, as well as apprehensions about increased criticism. Also included are some brief discussion of "Coming to America" and poet Amanda Gorman being followed home.
Additional resources:
"Deputy Mayor Mick Renneisen Plans Retirement in April" (City of Bloomington, February 17, 2021)
https://bloomington.in.gov/news/2021/02/17/4767
"Mayor Hamilton Announces Don Griffin, Jr. to be Next Deputy Mayor" (City of B...2021-03-0929 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.07: Traditional White ArtDon and Amy start this week's discussion with a job listing by the Indianapolis Museum of Art at Newfields that sought a director to “attract a broader and diverse audience while still maintaining the Museum’s traditional, core, white art audience.” The conversation also includes antique shops selling symbols of white supremacy in Oregon, students calling out teachers and organizations for racism, and a possibly inevitable revisiting of John Hughes films.
Additional resources:
"Newfields job posting sparks community controversy" (The Butler Collegian, Emma Quasny, February 17, 2021)
https://thebutlercollegian.com/2021/02/newfields-job-posting-sparks-community-controversy/
"Letter from our Board of Trustees and Boa...2021-02-2025 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.06: Uncle Buck Goes to WashingtonAfter talking about racism evident in a couple national news stories, Amy brings a recent example of her own racism to discuss with Don. Together, they dive deep into taking responsibility for making anti-oppression training easier, the need to let other people in relationships voice their own experience with harm, and the limited role listening and empathy plays in growth.
Additional resources:
"Country star Morgan Wallen sees album sales spike despite industry backlash over N-word video" (NBC News, by Wilson Wong, February 8, 2021)
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/country-star-sees-sales-spike-despite-industry-backlash-over-n-n1257065
"Mind and Body: Outcomes of a l...2021-02-1433 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3:05: Strategies of SurvivalDon and Amy discuss the Strategies of Disconnection, a key concept in Relational-Cultural Theory about the practice of hiding parts of yourself in order to maintain relationships. Amy also talks with Don about some recent news items that land on the Racism Radar—including a Southern Baptist pastor and Bloomington's new Racial Equity Task Force—and makes a pitch to listen to the New York Times serial podcast about schools, Nice White Parents, hosted by Chana Joffe-Walt.
Additional resources:
"Bedford Man Arrested After Hiding Missing Juvenile" (WBIW, February 2, 2021)
http://www.wbiw.com/2021/02/02/bedford-man-arrested-after-hiding-missing-juvenile/
"City of Bloom...2021-02-0637 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.04: The Venn Diagram of GameStopAfter overcoming some technical problems, Don joins Amy for a wide-ranging conversation about national politics and the possibility of the GameStop short squeeze becoming common ground for both ends of the political spectrum. The friends touch on a few items in the news, including the local challenges of providing shelter for unhoused people who have been trying to survive in tents pitched in public parks.
Special thanks to Six Umbrellas, whose song "Asset House" provides the beats for Don's debut (presumably) in electronic music.
Additional resources:
"Trump opens 'Office of the Former President' in...2021-02-0236 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.03: A Union With PurposeFresh off of another successful peaceful transition of power in the U.S.—and despite attempts to the contrary two weeks earlier—Don and Amy enjoy the moments of joy that broke through the clouds in the form of President Joe Biden's inauguration, even as they acknowledge the problems that persist. The highlight of that event for many came from poet Amanda Gorman, whose words spoke of the messy and unfinished nature of this country. Their conversation also touches on the cult of QAnon, a new podcast where a man listens to women, growing up in the Bicentennial, and the...2021-01-2342 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.02: Super IntentionsAmy and Don discuss a statement from the Monroe County Black Democratic Caucus seeking transparency in the search for a new superintendent to head the local school corporation. This conversation covers the importance of representation and the problems inherent in sustaining a Good-Ol'-Boy network. The friends also note the similarities between the people who stormed the Capitol last week and those who arrived in 2019 to support the presence of white supremacists in the city farmers' market.
Additional resources:
"As a community that strives and struggles ..." (Press Release, by Monroe County Black Democratic Caucus, January 13, 2021)
https...2021-01-1632 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 3.01: The Longest MonthBack after a holiday hiatus, Don and Amy try to catch up on the events of the day: an attack on the U.S. Capitol building that delayed the certification of electoral votes for President and Vice-President. Discussion includes reactions by various groups, the comfort of being believed, and the differences in approach to mob actions by police.
Additional resources:
"If you had the Indiana Football Coaches Association ..." (Twitter, by @AustinHoughTGN, January 6, 2021)
https://twitter.com/AustinHoughTGN/status/1346963999800356865?s=20
"147 Republican lawmakers still objected to the election results after the Capitol attack" (Vox, by Li Zhou, January 7, 2021)2021-01-0940 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.29: Working As DesignedDon and Amy are joined by Dr. Maureen Walker in discussing disruptive empathy and the challenge of engaging across difference, especially when part of that difference rejects the humanity of the other. They also explore the persistence of white supremacy across our history and within groups that are not white.
This episode contains several mentions of the N-word.
Additional resources:
"Exclusive: Lee Atwater's Infamous 1981 Interview on the Southern Strategy" (The Nation, by Rick Perlstein, November 13, 2012)
https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/exclusive-lee-atwaters-infamous-1981-interview-southern-strategy/
"Notes on the State of Virginia" (by Thomas Jefferson, February 27, 1787)2020-11-2140 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.28: Yet Another Boss LevelAmy and Don share their "After-election Word Barf" to reflect on a projected victory for Joe Biden and end to the Donald Trump administration. While recognizing lots of work and difficult times remain, the friends discuss the challenges of talking to people mired in fear and end with a list of three good things that lift their spirits.
Additional resources:
"U.S. Presidential Election Results 2020: Biden Wins" (NBC News)
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2020-elections/president-results
"Laugh? We nearly all died - Why my US failed state Twitter thread went viral" (The Guardian, by Patrick G...2020-11-1536 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.27: Plug the HoleAs Election Day approaches, Amy and Don talk about efforts to put social workers in the local police department, and the problems inherent in that approach. Don shares the second half of a story he started in a previous episode about being harassed by local law enforcement. Plus, a little more Lovecraft Country and a plug to watch Schitt's Creek.
If you missed the first half of Don's story, listen to Episode 2.23 ("Love Louder").
By the time the next episode comes out, the country will have finished casting their votes to shape the course of...2020-11-0135 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.26: Sharing the Messy Parts of RelationshipsDon and Amy participated in a virtual session at the Flyover Podcast Festival, hosted online by Dimension Mill on October 8-9, 2020. In their session—"Sharing the Messy Parts of Relationships"—they talked about how they started this podcast, the impact it has had, and what they hope to accomplish by continuing to share their conversations.
Thanks to Rachel Kucera, Gretchen Knapp, and everyone at Dimension Mill (including Sweetwater, for sponsoring the event).
Additional resources:
"Letter alleges white supremacists sell at farmers' market" (Indiana Daily Student, by Ellen Hine, June 11, 2019)
https://www.idsnews.com/arti...2020-10-2041 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.25: See ChangeFresh news that Donald Trump was hospitalized after contracting coronavirus is fodder for a discussion about loving kindness toward harmful people and the generational traumas of both enabling and suffering oppression. Amy and Don talk about the importance of making the negative impact of power visible, because you can't change what you won't acknowledge.
In this episode Amy incorrectly attributes an article on power. The article, written by Jean Baker Miller in 2010, is included in the resource links below
Additional resources:
"How Trump Could Have Exposed Biden and Others to COVID at the...2020-10-0642 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.24: Standing at the Wall of the Middle School DanceOur friends discuss threatening comments posted in response to Don sharing an article on Facebook about vehicles being used as weapons against protestors, and the limits of engaging violent speech. Amy and Don share their frustration and confusion about exchanges irreconcilable with their desire to connect across differences. Plus, more examples of things that give them strength.
Additional resources:
"What Amy Coney Barrett's Supreme Court Nomination Means For The 2020 Election" (NPR, by Deirdre Walsh, September 27, 2020)
https://www.npr.org/2020/09/27/917303199/what-amy-coney-barretts-supreme-court-nomination-means-for-the-2020-election
"Long-concealed Records Show Trump's Chronic Losses and Years of Tax Avoidance" (New York Times...2020-09-3042 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.23: Love LouderLovecraft Country again serves as a catalyst for conversation, with a recent episode of the TV series touching on the dangers to Black residents when integrating white neighborhoods. Don and Amy talk about school districting and home purchases, sparking an eclectic conversation that includes cultivating community and the recurring trauma Black people experience during this cultural awakening to white supremacy.
Additional resources:
"Ossian Sweet (1895-1960)" (Black Past, by Susan Bragg, July 18, 2007)
https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/sweet-ossian-1895-1960/
"The 'Lovecraft Country' House Attack Sequence Evoked the 1951 Cicero Race Riots" (Men's Health, by Josh St. Clair, A...2020-09-1348 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.22: Living in Lovecraft CountryDon and Amy discuss the impact of the new HBO series 'Lovecraft Country' (while trying to avoid any spoilers) and how it relates to the local and national stress surrounding race in America. Don shares an experience near his home confronting a group protesting the Bloomington mayor in support of law enforcement, and how his courage to challenge racist narratives online is impacting his business.
NOTE: This is the second episode of the pandemic where these two friends were in the same physical space, this time out amongst tree trimmers, construction, and the prelude to 2021's return...2020-08-3049 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.21: To Live and Die in PixieAmy and Don talk about a neighborhood petition to rename "Dixie Street" in Bloomington, reflecting on both small meaningful actions and empty gestures. Their conversation covers the presence and suggestion of racism in the songs we sing and the media we watch.
NOTE: This is the first episode of the pandemic where these two friends were in the same physical space. As a result, there is a lot of background noise throughout their discussions.
Additional resources:
"Bloomington, Indiana: Rename Dixie Street" (Change.org, by S. Sherry, August 14, 2020)
https://www.change.org/p...2020-08-2239 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.20: Half-Pint Grunge Is Your Target MarketPrompted by a recent essay calling for an end to using the pejorative 'Karen', Amy wrestles with how sexism interferes and overlaps with anti-racism work. She and Don discuss how they participate in the systems they want to change—even while they are being hurt—and the importance of being authentic in a world that values power.
Additional resources:
"How That 'Karen' Meme Benefits the Right" (The National Memo, by Nina Burleigh, July 18, 2020)
https://www.nationalmemo.com/karen-meme
"What's In a 'Karen'?" (NPR Code Switch, by Karen Grigsby Bates, July 15, 2020)
https://www.npr.o...2020-08-0344 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.19: Racism Has Become PatriotismAfter a holiday weekend filled with racist acts and protest drew the world's attention to Bloomington, Don and Amy talk through their reactions to these events and how they are processing the visible violence in their community. Don revisits a childhood incident in a new light, and they discuss the fear that results from acts of terrorism.
Additional resources:
"Arrest at Monroe Lake spurs IU football players to voice concern over racial profiling" (Indiana Daily Student, by Grace Ybarra, June 28, 2020)
https://www.idsnews.com/article/2020/06/arrest-at-lake-monroe-spurs-iu-football-players-to-voice-concern-over-racial-profiling
Darwin Davis, Jr. (Twitter, @DeeDavisX, July 3, 2020)
...2020-07-121h 00My Racist FriendEpisode 2.18: Soul SurvivorAmy reflects on the childhood memory shared by Don in the previous episode and the difficulty in reconciling racism in someone she loves. Together, they revisit a painful moment for Don at an awards program in which they both participated, and Amy tries to reconcile the racism she carries.
Additional resources:
"The Violence of white (and non-Black PoC) Apologies" (Medium, by Ciarra Jones, June 9, 2020)
https://medium.com/@ciarrajones/the-violence-of-white-and-non-black-poc-apologies-d1321c0ccb8e
"Fact Check: 'Irish Slaves' meme repeats discredited article" (Reuters, June 19, 2020)
https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-factcheck-slaves/fact-check-irish-slaves-meme-repeats-discredited-article-idUSKBN23Q1LQ
"...2020-06-2848 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.17: Don't Let It Be a Pumpkin Spice MomentIn this week's conversation, Don wrestles with what to do with the anger aggregating with each news alert, racist Facebook post, and recalled memory. In processing how that anger has changed over time, Amy talks about our inclination to diminish or dismiss harm done by people we like.
Warning: The cursing was not edited out for this episode, and (spoiler) they don't really talk about the Farmer's Market.
Additional resources:
"The 'Arab Spring': Five Years On" (Amnesty International)
https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/campaigns/2016/01/arab-spring-five-years-on/
"Philando Castile's Daughter Said...2020-06-1847 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.16: Two GeniesDon and Amy discuss the ongoing protests against police brutality, including both the large gathering in Bloomington on June 5 and (briefly) an inflammatory statement by the Broadening Inclusion Group of the local farmer's market that same day. They try to process some of the recent instances of violence against protestors and discuss the role RCT plays in seeking understanding.
Additional resources:
"Racism Is Surging in Germany. Tens of Thousands Are Taking to the Streets to Call for Justice" (Time, by Billy Perrigo and Melissa Godin, June 11, 2020)
https://time.com/5851165/germany-anti-racism-protests/
"The NFL's bac...2020-06-1239 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.15: Don't Write Me a CheckThe last week of May was draining. The murder of George Floyd under the knee of the Minneapolis police was set up by Amy Cooper's 911 call and stalled justice for Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and many others. Don and Amy reflect on the barrage of events since their previous conversation, including the resulting protests of police brutality around the world and the outcome of policing tactics on display. They also revisit the continued presence of white supremacists in the local farmers market, a year after protests began, and explore a possible solution for institutionalize racism: reparations.
Additional...2020-06-0549 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.14: No Time To MournAfter over two weeks of fever, Amy reunites with Don online for a catch-up discussion that covers opening the state before we're ready, the value of local response to helping each other, and the role of connection when someone is being bullied. The two friends also talk about raising the bar on expectations for political leaders and our shared desire to make things appear less messy.
This conversation was recorded one day before the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis and a week of visible horrors instigated by a range of authoritarians. Unpacking everything will certainly be...2020-05-2955 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.13: Bias is in Your BodyWith the inclusion of psychiatrist Dr. Amy Banks on the weekly Zoom call, Don talks with two Amys this week about racism at work when discussing police shootings and gun control. Dr. Banks explains the neuroscience that bakes our prejudices into our minds and body, and they talk about the value of recalling positive relational moments to help your body feel calm.
Additional resources:
"Indianapolis Police Officer Shoots Man in Livestreamed Killing. Here's What to Know" (Time, by Josiah Bates, May 7, 2020)
https://time.com/5833625/indianapolis-police-shooting-sean-reed/
"Coronavirus: Armed protesters enter Michigan statehouse" (BBC, May 1, 2020)2020-05-131h 01My Racist FriendEpisode 2.12: Seeing KarenOn the cusp of Indiana announcing plans to re-open parts of the state's economy, Amy and Don invite Dr. LaShawn Williams to join their conversation from her Utah home. They discuss the response to 'Karen' and the power dynamics embedded in the that slang term. They also discuss the risks of opening up states too soon and who carries the brunt of that risk.
Additional resources:
"About Caucasity and the Difference Between a Becky, a Karen and a Susan" (Awesomely Luvvie, by Luvvie Ajayi, April 27, 2020)
https://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2020/04/caucasity-karen-becky-susan.html
International Center...2020-05-0453 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.11: PausedAs state governors take the forefront in determining how long and to what extent stay-at-home orders exist, Don and Amy check in with each other about new challenges that come with hitting Pause on familiar routines. They talk about the impact illness and sickness have had on their mood and about the changes that will need to happen for our country as it shifts away from life at home. Don also talks about his family's discussions around wearing a mask in public.
Additional resources:
Building a Thriving Compassionate Community (BTCC)
http://www.btccbloomington.org/
2020-04-2643 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.10: Working the RoomFrom their respective homes, Amy and Don connect through Zoom to update each other on the continued challenges of remaining at home. They explore the tensions between feeling gratitude for what privilege provides and feeling empathy toward those for whom a pandemic is risk to health and financial stability. The two friends speculate on what current behaviors they want to take with them after sheltering stops.
Additional resources:
Life Tribute page for Erin Marie McGarvey (Allen Funeral Home)
https://www.allencares.com/obituaries/Erin-Mcgarvey/
"George Goes Out on a High Note" (YouTube, by...2020-04-1836 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.9: VulnerableWith birds and dogs in the background, Don and Amy catch up on another week of stay-at-home life and trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. The friends talk about taking action, as well as the need to be and privilege of being vulnerable. They also share what things are giving them hope in these stressful times.
Additional resources:
"Secret of Life - James Taylor" (YouTube)
https://youtu.be/yHWHPPHpAj8
"Cooper Loves Ice Cream" (YouTube, by CoopersDogpatch, February 23, 2014)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHvExOg4NI0
"Early Data Shows African A...2020-04-1042 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.8: Keeping It RealA week into spring break, Don and Amy talk about how they are coping with the stay-at-home order from Indiana Governor Holcomb. In their discussion, they talk about how the COVID crisis is forcing us to wrestle with our humanity and our responsibility toward both the planet and each other.
Additional resources:
Indiana News Releases from Governor Eric Holcomb
https://www.in.gov/gov/newsroom.htm
NSFH Mutual Aid for COVID-19
https://nospace4hate.btown-in.org/nsfh-mutual-aid/
People's Market of Bloomington, Indiana
https://www.facebook.com/peoplescooperativemarket/
The...2020-04-0440 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.7: Spring BrokenOn the cusp of a stay-at-home order from the state of Indiana, Don and Amy try to stay connected through technology. During their Zoom conference, the friends talk about the uneven impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, the assumptions of our previous lives, and the challenges of evolving old routines in face of the current crisis.
Additional resources:
"Commodores - Zoom" (YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZiODSzUiYU
"Zoom Episode one - intro" (YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7gzHLKT5g4
The planned 2020 Relational Summit scheduled for May 14-17...2020-03-2550 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.6: Mourning the Brother Man HugBack in simpler times—aka a week ago—the social realities of living in a pandemic were just sinking in. Amy and Don follow an initial conversation about presidential politics with discussion of how the COVID-19 outbreak was disrupting their lives, including a desire to hug.
The situation has changed rapidly since this conversation took place, and some of what is in this conversation may not reflect our current reality. Our hosts plan to continue talking through the mess over the next several weeks of extreme social distancing and quarantine, taking advantage of modern technology to continue conn...2020-03-2131 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.5: Knight LifePrompted by an episode from another podcast, Amy shares her thoughts on disentangling her identity from Hoosier basketball. She and Don talk about the recent return of former Indiana University head basketball coach Bob Knight to Bloomington and what it was like to grow up in his shadow, unpacking some of the problematic underpinnings of his behavior.
Additional resources:
Hidden Brain: "Passion Isn't Enough: The Rise Of 'Political Hobbyism' in the United States" (NPR podcast, 2/10/2020)
2020-02-1957 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.4: SundownThis episode, Don and Amy invite two guests into their conversation. Aleisha Kropf asks Dr. LaShawn Williams to help her explore what it means to discover your hometown was a Sundown Town, even when you don't visit anymore. Along the way, the group discusses the culture of silence, parenting children of color, and passing as a means of survival.
Additional resources:
"Was your town a sundown town?" (James Loewen, UU World, 2/18/2008)
"'Sundown towns': Midwest confronts its complicated racial legacy" (Jack Shuler, CSM, 3/27/2017)
Follow the Bloomington Center for Connection on Facebook to find out more about t...2020-02-1350 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.3: The Muddle in the MiddleAmy and Don explore the value and challenges of getting in the MUD—Mystery, Uncertainty, and Doubt—where vulnerability creates space for change. They look at bias in a local newspaper article on Sarah Dye, a white supremacist who remains entrenched in the Bloomington Farmers Market, and discuss the varied reaction to the recent Super Bowl halftime show.
Additional resources:
Native Americans and Mount Rushmore
The Sordid History of Mount Rushmore
Gatehouse Media Buys Bloomington's Herald-Times
Gatehouse Media (Influence Watch)
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2020-02-0845 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.2: Can of WormsDon and Amy reflect on their growth since the first episode of Season One, revisiting the role of a non-violent approach and the importance of staying connected to hold space for change.
The January 19th sermon by Dr. Maureen Walker and Jada Bee's talk on dismantling white supremacy can be found in the Universalist Unitarian live stream archives.
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2020-01-2836 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 2.1: When Getting Along is Not EnoughIn the first episode of 2020, Amy and Don are joined by Dr. Maureen Walker for a conversation recorded live at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Bloomington, Indiana. Together, they explore segments from Dr. Walker's new book on dealing with racism through relationships and respond to some questions and comments from the audience. The full stream is available online.
You can purchase Dr. Walker's latest book—"When Getting Along Is Not Enough: Reconstructing Race in Our Lives and Relationships"—online.
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2020-01-201h 24My Racist FriendEpisode 1.14: Say UncleAmy shares with Don her frustrations about the news of the day, including a pushup challenge, a Speaker rejecting hate, and a pre-tween tragedy. Together, all of these events illustrate Amy's desire to move away from a culture of Winning.
See also:
Joe Biden Challenges Iowa Man to a Push-Up Contest During Heated Exchange (Time on Dec 5, 2019)
‘Don’t mess with me’ — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rips reporter who asks if she hates Trump (CNBC on Dec 5, 2019)
CPS argues to appeals court it's not responsible for Gabriel Taye's 2017 suicide (Cincinnati Enquirer on Dec 5, 2019)
Buy "Your Racist Frie...2019-12-0843 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.13b: Afraid of WeThis is the second part of a conversation between Amy, Don, and local activist Jada Bee for a conversation about the many places in society outside of the farmer's market where racism thrives and the importance of believing marginalized voices. This conversation took place on November 23, 2019 and spans two episodes.
For more information about Black Lives Matter in Bloomington, Indiana, visit BLM.btown-in.org or email BlackLivesMatterBTown@gmail.com. Video from October’s A Seat At the Table event can be found on the website, as can information about donating to the Bailout Fund for black and brown a...2019-11-3032 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.13a: Fighting Dolores UmbridgeDon and Amy invite local activist Jada Bee for a conversation about protest and fighting white supremacy that tries to look normal. This conversation took place on November 23, 2019 and spans two episodes.
For more information about Black Lives Matter in Bloomington, Indiana, visit BLM.btown-in.org or email BlackLivesMatterBTown@gmail.com. Video from October’s A Seat At the Table event can be found on the website, as can information about donating to the Bailout Fund for black and brown activists. BLM also curates an anti-racist educational reading and viewing list.
Buy "Your Racist F...2019-11-3048 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.12: Bring the ButcherAs sometimes happens, the intended topic of discussion for Amy an Don was displaced by a conversation about local protest, the day-to-day concerns of marginalized members of our community, and how to hold and reserve space for others. Plus, another food analogy.
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2019-11-2545 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.11: Putting Yourself AwayDon asks Amy about what it's like to live in these times as a woman. Amy shares her experience of hopelessness during a 2016 Presidential debate and the solidarity that came with many voices contributing to #MeToo.
TW: this episode describes sexual violence and has more than the normal amount of cursing.
We encourage you to revisit and support Tarana Burke's efforts to sustain the #MeToo movement she began in 2006. https://metoomvmt.org/
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2019-11-0549 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.10: Some Candies Are StupidAmy and Don discuss the ethical dilemma of purchasing Kit Kats, contributing to landfills, and pushing the needle towards anti-racism without solving it. The friends also talk a bit about the importance of recognizing different marginalized experiences.
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2019-10-3142 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.9: Yellin' at EllenAfter a couple weeks off, Don and Amy return with a discussion of a controversial moment between former President George W. Bush and Ellen DeGeneres at a Dallas Cowboys football game. They explore the expectations and obligations to be authentic in that situation ... and somehow, Kanye West.
For more on Dr. Maureen Walker's idea of disruptive empathy, read "Transforming Community Through Disruptive Empathy".
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2019-10-191h 01My Racist FriendEpisode 1.8: Something in Your TeethDon and Amy are joined by Drs. LaShawn Williams and Dolores Finger Wright in a live podcast recorded at Griffin Realty at the end of the second annual Relational Summit in Bloomington, Indiana. They discuss some of the key relational-cultural concepts that surfaced over the previous weekend, including the Five Good Things, One True Thing, and food metaphors to describe conversations about race.
Dr. Finger Wright is a veteran of the civil rights movement. In 2011 Dr. Finger Wright received the International Civil Rights Center & Museum Sit-In Hero’s Award for involvement in the 1960s in the history civ...2019-09-271h 15My Racist FriendEpisode 1.7: Hurting for HopeAmy shares some exciting news with Don that the upcoming Relational Summit will include Drs. Judith Jordan, Amy Banks, Connie Gunderson, and Harriet Schwartz. The conversation this week also includes what it takes to be authentic and be safe, and how the central relational paradox keeps us from revealing our full selves.
Join Amy, Don, and the Bloomington Center for Connection on September 19-22 for the second annual Relational Summit—"Learning Together"—hosted here in Bloomington, Indiana. For more details, follow the Bloomington Center for Connection on Facebook and other social media platforms.
Buy tickets for...2019-09-1237 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.6: Salt Water TankThis week, Amy and Don talk about the importance of defining racism as a systemic problem, and how people of color may perceive a racist situation differently than more privileged allies. They also discuss the ongoing trauma arising from the death of Indiana University graduate student Won-Joon Yoon 20 years ago at the hands of a white supremacist.
For more information on the murder of Won-Joon Yoon in 1999, read "‘No Hate Speech. No Hate Crimes. Not in Our Town. Not Anywhere.’" by Abby Malala of the Indiana Daily Student.
Join Amy, Don, and the Bloomington Center for C...2019-09-0744 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.5: StayDon and Amy are joined this week by Rev. Mary Ann Macklin, senior minister at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Bloomington, Indiana. They discuss being faced with a decision to stay in the fight or walk away, and explore different ways to engage injustice.
Join Amy, Don, and the Bloomington Center for Connection on September 19-22 for the second annual Relational Summit—"Learning Together"—hosted here in Bloomington, Indiana. For more details, follow the Bloomington Center for Connection on Facebook and other social media platforms.
Buy tickets for the Relational Summit on EventBrite for September 19-22...2019-09-0141 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.4: Designated TargetResponding to a listener question, Don and Amy talk more about fear and trauma. The friends also discuss the validity of different ways to confront white supremacy and the importance of allowing space for growth when someone disagrees.
Join Amy, Don, and the Bloomington Center for Connection on September 19-22 for the second annual Relational Summit—"Learning Together"—hosted here in Bloomington, Indiana. For more details, follow the Bloomington Center for Connection on Facebook and other social media platforms.
Buy tickets for the Relational Summit on EventBrite for September 19-22, 2019.
Buy "Your Racist Frien...2019-08-2545 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.3: Yellow PorscheWith the local farmers market slated to re-open this weekend, Don and Amy talk about attending, safety, and the experience of living and succeeding as a Black man in southern Indiana, acknowledging that emotional labor.
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2019-08-1645 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.2: Good HeartDon and Amy revisit a comment from the previous episode about qualifying someone's racist language by saying they have a "good heart." In the process, the two friends explore differences in reactions to police and listen to Princeton University professor Eddie Glaude's recent appearance on an MSNBC panel following a weekend of racist rhetoric and mass shootings.
For the full MSNBC clip: https://on.msnbc.com/2TjNjS4
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2019-08-1245 minMy Racist FriendEpisode 1.1: Down on the FarmIn their debut as podcasters, Don Griffin, Jr. and Amy Makice, LCSW talk about the presence of white supremacists in the local farmers market and the decision to close the market for two weeks. As longtime friends with different experiences growing up in southern Indiana, Don and Amy lean into their mutual connection to have difficult conversations about racism.
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2019-08-0432 min