Shows
The cult.ture podcastAgency, At Last: Abby’s Exit From ControlAbby’s story moves from love-bombing and baptized hope to grief, coercive control, boundaries, and finally freedom and family. She shares how vulnerability was targeted, why she pursued baptism after trauma, and the cost of “paper-thin comfort” in a doomsday framework. We talk stalking elders, weaponized “good example” theology, and the moment she chose safety over image. Abby also remembers her brother Elijah and how losing him during COVID cracked the last pieces of belief and the wild grace of her son being born on Elijah’s birthday. This one sits with grief, names misogyny, and celebrates reclamation: choosing the present...
2025-11-232h 20The cult.ture podcastAbove Water: Freedom, Friction, and Finding Your Compass - Dustin ReturnsContent note: Mentions religious trauma, suicide, and substance use. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for support.
Derek and Trinity welcome back Dustin Jetmore for a raw check-in since disassociating from Jehovah’s Witnesses (letter July 4, announcement July 10). We revisit the 2019 Love Never Fails convention, Derek’s last through the moment the veil lifts: choreographed “love,” scripted routes, even restroom control. Derek also shares the day his dad survived a heart event in the stands thanks to a wearable defibrillator vest.
Then, life on the surface:
“You’re a natural human, you break at nat...
2025-11-021h 33The cult.ture podcastPIMO to POMO: Drag, Therapy, and Saying No with JuanJuan spent years PIMO—Physically In, Mentally Out, performing the part while hiding his truest self. We trace the pressure to baptize, the “bad association” rules that killed sports and friendships, and how family + culture can be weaponized to keep you compliant. Therapy (and the XJW community) gave him language for boundaries and room to say who he is: pansexual, a drag artist, and done pretending.
When his parents discovered his drag clothes, everything snapped into focus. He left in a storm, crossed a state line, and celebrated his first night out at an LGBTQ bar. The next m...
2025-10-191h 14The cult.ture podcastGrowing Beyond the Box with Micah Allen LoshAuthor–poet Micah Allen Losh (Mentally Diseased, The Apostasy Trilogy) joins Derek for an unflinching look at life inside a doomsday faith and the long road out.
Micah reads a poem written during 77 days in jail his first sober stretch in years and traces the journey from a childhood of constant Armageddon fear and being labeled “blood guilty” to the moment he could say: “That person no longer exists.” He shares how his father died loyal to the blood doctrine, how he dissociated at seven giving a Bible reading, and how he was baptized four months after the funera...
2025-10-121h 48The cult.ture podcastSmooth Operator to the New Personality: A solo chat with MitchDerek sits down for a solo chat with Mitch (@exjdub) an elder’s kid who spent decades performing inside Jehovah’s Witnesses to talk about abuse, denial, power, and the long work of becoming real. For the first time publicly, Mitch shares the abuse he endured, the moment his abuser said “I don’t remember it never happened,” the night he numbed out with a bottle of rum, and why therapy finally helped him name the patterns: chasing control, emotional entanglements, ghosting with the “high of the hunt.”
We also get candid about ego and authority in the org (wanti...
2025-10-051h 27The cult.ture podcastVibration & Curiosity: Beyond the Kingdom Hall to the 5th DimensionDerek reconnects with Erika for a solo chat to trace a complicated path through and beyond the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Loved at home yet the “black sheep” in the Kingdom Hall, Erika was baptized at 17 to ease expectations, married at 18, and soon found herself in a life that never fit. She opens up about anxiety and meds, disfellowshipping, the pull of shunning, and the return for reinstatement.
Derek shares his “scriptural freedom” saga, months of ever-shifting demands under one elder, then owning his later apology to Erika after leaving himself. Together they unpack cognitive dissonance (saying the script whi...
2025-09-301h 13The cult.ture podcastFrom Anger to Appreciation: Josh Morton’s Healing PathWhen COVID moved meetings to Zoom, Josh Morton finally had room to breathe and realized he’d been drowning. In this intimate conversation with Derek and Trinity, Josh traces his path from teenage baptism to early marriage, double-life betrayals, and devastating family loss. He opens up about navigating guilt, anger, and shame and the moment an EXJW content cracked his certainty.
Josh also unpacks running a JW-themed business that woke him up to hypocrisy, reconciling with his disfellowshipped dad before a life-threatening accident, and the choice to fade quietly to protect relationships. Through humor, humility, and raw ho...
2025-09-211h 31The cult.ture podcastPrivileges, Reproval, and a Quiet Fade: Ben at 25Ben walked away from the fear and into his actual life. Raised fourth-generation JW between California, Phoenix, and now Seattle, Ben talks about growing up in the JW Library era, carrying constant Armageddon anxiety, getting publicly reproved, and what it took to quietly disappear. We get into dating after high-control beliefs, rebuilding community, reclaiming holidays and heritage, and why “putting Jehovah last” ironically made everything click.
Ben’s takeaway for anyone on the fence: sometimes things just work out but yes, you still have to jump.
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2025-09-141h 05The cult.ture podcastCierra: Truth in Grief, Generational Echoes, and Finding PeaceAt 25, Cierra sits with us to talk about growing through anxiety, depression, and the long tail of generational and religious trauma while still choosing love for the people in her life. She describes a transformative season with grounding in nature, and learning to protect her peace alongside the complicated grief of losing her father (Jan 2020) just months after a cousin’s death.
We also unpack how belief shapes grief. We talk about logical breaks (yes, including Trinity’s beard lore 😂), experiences in high-control settings, and how Cierra while never baptized in the JW faith but affiliated has chosen...
2025-09-071h 13The cult.ture podcastThe Inspired Hustler: Speaking Up, Breaking Free, and Living FullyIn this heartfelt and unfiltered episode, Trinity and Derek sit down with Derek's sister Jessica from The Inspired Hustler to explore the emotional terrain of growing up in a controlling religious environment, navigating step-family dynamics and being under care by controlling and abusive parents and the courage it takes to break free even at a young age.
From the raw realities of being a young outlier to the empowering reminder of self-worth and divine love, Jess shares advice she wishes she’d heard as a teenager:
“Know who you are. Know who God created you to be...
2025-08-311h 28The cult.ture podcastUnwinding the Narrative: Chad on Vulnerability, Loss, Creativity, and Leaving BethelIn this deeply personal and refreshingly candid episode of cult.ture pod, Chad joins Derek and Trent to share his journey of self-discovery, creative exploration, and the emotional complexities of leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses faith. From confronting self-critical patterns through personal pursuits to embracing vulnerability in public conversations, Chad opens up about the challenges and triumphs of reclaiming his identity and the personal loss along the way.
The hosts reflect on the courage it takes to speak authentically, especially when every word might be scrutinized, and the importance of creating space for disagreement, growth, and ge...
2025-08-242h 40The cult.ture podcastListener Questions Answered: Freedom on the Other SideLife after leaving a high-control group can feel uncertain but it’s also full of possibility. In this listener-driven Q&A episode, Trent and Derek share their answers to questions like the most meaningful support they've received, the turning points that shaped their journeys, and the message they would give to anyone who feels trapped but longs for a new life.
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Disclaimer:
The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are...
2025-08-1759 minThe cult.ture podcastFrom Disassociated to Free: Dustin's New PathThey said his name from the platform. They told the congregation he was no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
To them, it was a warning.
To him, it was the first public step into freedom.
In this upcoming episode of cult.ture, Dustin shares what it’s like to go from being part of a community that claimed to love him, to recently disassociating and choosing to leave the Jehovah’s Witness faith becoming someone they can no longer even speak to.
We talk about the fear, the grief, the shock...
2025-08-101h 47The cult.ture podcastPieces of Jenn: Her Side of the StoryThis episode contains discussions of suicide, sexual assault, and abuse. Please listen with care and prioritize your mental health.
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Derek and Trent sit down with Derek’s sister, Jenn, for a raw conversation about survival, identity, and healing.
Jenn opens up about growing up under the shadow of a controlling, ego-driven father and the silent wounds of early abuse. She shares the emotional and physical toll of dissociation, a devastating car accident at 15, and years spent searching for love through pain, addiction, and escape.
But this is...
2025-08-031h 42The cult.ture podcastSpeak Their Language: JW Jargon with Trinity & DerekTheocratic Ministry School.
New light.
Worldly.
Spiritually strong.
If you know, you know.
This interstitial episode is all about the insider lingo and a little bit of information about core beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses, what it meant, what it was used for, and how it shaped the way we thought and spoke.
In this episode Trinity and Derek decode the language that once defined everything. From euphemisms to control phrases, this isn’t just about words, it's about identity, power, and the way bel...
2025-07-2633 minThe cult.ture podcastBreaking the Silence: Natty’s Story of Loss, Courage, and RebirthThis episode contains discussions of suicide, sexual assault, and loss. Please listen with care, and prioritize your mental health.
What happens when the very people meant to protect you turn a blind eye to tragedy?
In this powerful episode, Trinity and Derek sit down with Natty, who left the Jehovah’s Witnesses—and her family—at a heartbreakingly young age after surviving an unthinkable tragedy. Abandoned by those closest to her, Natty was left to navigate the fallout of loss, isolation, and betrayal. Her parents and community chose loyalty to the organization over protecti...
2025-07-201h 44The cult.ture podcastFrom Mormon Roots to Mindful Mutiny | A Solo Interview with Jeremy Van WertWhat happens when your faith, your identity, and your future are handed to you—and then one day, you wake up and ask, "Whose life am I living?"
This week Derek sits down for a solo conversation with Jeremy Van Wert—therapist, psychedelic guide, and former Mormon for a great conversation about leaving high-control religion, navigating trauma, and what it really means to reclaim your mind and to try hard to not join another cult!
Jeremy opens up about:
• Growing up in the LDS Church
• How indoctrination shaped his identity
• Breaking free from spiri...
2025-07-121h 06The cult.ture podcastPut a Gork in It: Have your own ideasIn this episode, we sit down with @gorkmusic — musician, creative, and deep thinker — for a raw conversation about walking away from rigid systems and into the unknown. Gork shares how faith, fear, and failure shaped his path — and how he’s learning to live outside of certainty.
We explore themes of identity, masculinity, dogma, and creative rebirth. This is an unfiltered look at what it takes to unlearn, reimagine, and come home to yourself.
“Embrace discomfort, uncertainty, and failure — get to that freedom and be ready to climb through the shit and embrace not knowing.”
“I think...
2025-07-051h 09The cult.ture podcastWho’s Interviewing Who, Really?The mic shifts hands this week as Trent interviews Derek about life before, during, and after the world he once believed in. It gets personal, honest, and just a little uncomfortable—in all the right ways. In this episode, Derek — the voice behind the mic — shares just a portion of his own story of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, the silence he was taught to keep, and the long road of questioning, breaking away, and reclaiming his voice.
What happens when the person telling the story has lived inside the system?
You get truth wi...
2025-06-2249 minThe cult.ture podcastWelcome to the FoldIn our very first episode, your hosts take a seat at the table—literally and figuratively—to start unraveling what it means to grow up inside a high-control group. Joined by Trent, a fellow ex-Jehovah’s Witness, we begin with our own stories: childhoods shaped by Watchtower rules, the pressure to conform, and what it felt like to start questioning it all. This is where cult.ture begins.
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The views and experiences shared in this podcast are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests...
2025-06-171h 01The cult.ture podcastInto the Fog: A Cults Podcast TeaserBelief is powerful—but in the wrong hands, it can become a tool for control. In this teaser, step into the shadowy world of cults, where manipulation masquerades as salvation and escape is never simple. This is a preview of the real stories to come—interviews with survivors, skeptics, and those who dared to walk away. Brace yourself—once inside, the fog of deception isn’t so easy to leave behind.
Our hope is to provide you with one new conversation every month.
Join our community and be part of the conversation that challenges...
2025-06-0601 min