Shows
Paradox Outta Da Box#46 - Treating Big Bad TeensThe problem with teenagers is that they are neither here nor there. Sometimes they act like adults and sometimes like children. For therapists’ this can be challenging because we don’t always know who will show up. On the positive side, teens have a lot of energy, that when channeled in the right direction, can overcome difficult obstacles. On the negative side, teens often try to assert their independence and believe they can run things better than their parents. When parents’ sense that their authority is being questioned they feel they need to be more strict and controlling. This often...2025-05-2252 minParadox Outta Da Box# 45 -Therapist’s Use of SelfTherapists often seek to learn about new modalities and gain innovative skills designed to improve their practice. While searching for new methods is certainly important, what often goes unaddressed is the ‘other side of the coin’.This ‘other side’, refers to the therapist’s ability to trust his personal awareness or ‘use-of-self’ in the therapeutic process. In this manner, the therapist is conscious of himself as a ‘tuning fork’ to gauge his ability to connect and empathize with the client. This means engaging and trusting the flow of treatment on a non-verbal level. Within this non-verbal interaction, the therapist is s...2025-05-1552 minParadox Outta Da Box#44 - From Suffering to ReliefPeople often enter therapy because they experience emotional or psychological ‘suffering’ in their life. As therapists’ our goal is to relieve suffering. However, what does ‘suffering’ actually mean?Is ‘suffering’ based more on behavior, emotions, thoughts, or trauma from childhood? Often the hope is that therapy can correct the above symptoms, merge ‘parts’, or roleplay the client toward different solutions to help the client get beyond their suffering. Clients who suffer, but are motivated to get beyond their pain are easier to work with. .But what if the client’s suffering is so great, that they do not even know...2025-05-0856 minParadox Outta Da Box#43 - Getting Client to ‘Buy In’As part of therapy it is common to hear therapists looking for ways to get the client to ‘buy in’ to the treatment process. Some try to convince the client that it to their benefit, some offer rewards, and some will warn of the negative consequences. But essentially the hope is to figure out how to get the client to cooperate and accept our therapy agenda… And of course, once the client ‘buys in’, then with a little more cooperation the therapist will surely feel successful…But hold on…. Am I missing something here?It seems to me th...2025-05-0154 minParadox Outta Da Box#42 Couples and Family Therapy Made EZMany therapists get overwhelmed even just thinking about doing couple or family therapy. Offhand it seems much easier to do individual therapy where the therapist can focus all his attention - without distraction - on the client. However, the problem with individual therapy is that we are hearing only one side of the story. When doing individual therapy we do not have access to the dynamic interchange between the client and the other ‘players’ that are part of his system. The advantage of couples and family therapy is that we get to see a more whole picture of the ‘real w...2025-04-2456 minParadox Outta Da Box#41- Treating Enuresis And EncopresisBed wetting and Encopresis are common problems in childhood. Many times a child may just grow out of it. However, sometimes parents become concerned depending on the age of the child, or how long the issue persists. Some parents resort to medication, and some try behavioral techniques. There are also sleeping mats that are designed to wake the child up using alarms if he starts to wet the bed. However, many of these methods seem to have a ‘behavioral’ or ‘shame’ based quality to get the child to stop. Pdxi has a short-term, unique, and counter-intuitive way of addressing the issu...2025-04-1746 minParadox Outta Da Box#40- Suicidal ideation and Threats-Therapists must be very sensitive in handling suicidal ideation and threats. The main and primary factor in working with such ideation is taking away the person's underlying experience of being alone. In order to help people with suicidal ideation, it is important to quickly convey a personal connection. Our approach toward the person should be non-threatening and avoid any kind of power struggle. Sometimes the goal is to 'buy time'. With a client who is 'standing on the ledge', I might acknowledge that he certainly has the ability to end it all now, however "Is there a reason it h...2025-04-1040 minParadox Outta Da Box#38- I Am, Therefore I ThinkDeCarte said, “I think, therefore I am”. As a result, many people have tried using their internal process of thinking through ‘self-affirmations’ to think differently. Some work very hard to convince their mind to change negative beliefs and thought patterns. Inevitably such affirmations don’t work because their underlying sense of isolation and aloneness remains the same. However in pdxi, the goal is not to change thinking directly. Instead we want to offer the client a change in perspective. Sometimes this might mean even encouraging or exaggerating an old behavior, thought, or emotion. Suddenly the client becomes aware of his old be...2025-04-0348 minParadox Outta Da Box# 42- Couple and Family Therapy Made EZMany therapists get overwhelmed even just thinking about doing couple or family therapy. Offhand it seems much easier to do individual therapy where the therapist can focus all his attention - without distraction - on the client. However, the problem with individual therapy is that we are hearing only one side of the story. When doing individual therapy we do not have access to the dynamic interchange between the client and the other ‘players’ that are part of his system. The advantage of couples and family therapy is that we get to see a more whole picture of the ‘real w...2025-03-2756 minParadox Outta Da Box#38 The Incompetent TherapistAs therapists, we all want to be 'competent'. But it sometimes our very desire to be competent that gets in the way of allowing the client to grow and discover their own solutions. At times the direction the client needs to go is obvious to us. However by giving the client OUR answer, we take away the clients' ability to search and discover solutions that work for them. When the client is able to make choices and take responsibility for their OWN solutions, this is when true healing and growth happens. Therefore in counter-intuitive fashion, it is often the th...2025-03-2754 minParadox Outta Da Box# 37 – Gloria x 3 therapists Rogers, Perls, EllisIn 1965, Gloria (a patient) met for a half-hour session with 3 well known therapists of that time; Carl Rogers (Client Centered Therapy), Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy), and Albert Ellis (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy – REBT). In this podcast we get to explore a shortened video version of these 3 meetings. We explore and comment how the originator of each of these therapies demonstrates their technique.Rogers outwardly projects warmth, empathy, and genuineness. Gloria was relaxed and receptive as Rogers tended to mirror Gloria’s words and thoughts. However with Perls, Gloria is already defensive from the start. Perls remained relaxed and...2025-03-201h 02Paradox Outta Da Box# 36 – Transference and Counter-transference – C. Rogers / M. Linehant is important to be aware of transference and counter-transference. Transference is when the client projects on to the therapist emotions and perceptions they may have experienced earlier in life. Often a client may see the therapist as having similar qualities to that of a parent. At the same time, the client may also bring up feelings and emotions in the therapist that is related to his personal history. For the therapist in particular, he should try to work out these type of conflicts in supervision so that it doesn’t muddy the session. For the most part, the th...2025-03-1358 minParadox Outta Da Box#35 – Avatar Therapy
Here we explore a direction in which Artificial Intelligence (AI) technology is being used to advance therapy. A brief video showed how a computer avatar could be used to help people diagnosed with schizophrenia, and who had been previously paralyzed by critical and debilitating voices in their head. By using the computer to generate an avatar voice with face image, the client could finally have a conversation with that ‘other voice in their head’. Apparently this method has shown to be very effective with people experiencing this condition. In the podcast group we discussed how such technology could be used...2025-01-3045 minParadox Outta Da Box#34 – The Full RoleplayIn this podcast I do a 20 minute roleplay with a regular participant to the podcast. Although he tries a few attempts to get me ‘off track’, I remain in the ‘here & now’ and coach him how to better avoid ‘being responsible’. After the roleplay, I and the participant review the ‘session’ and discuss what he learned from it. He noted that it helped him discover that he was working harder to get his client unstuck than the client was for himself. As a result, he was looking forward to the next session with his client to try some ‘new ideas’.
2025-01-2351 minParadox Outta Da Box#33- The Grande IllusionThe Grand Illusion refers to the fact that while we each experience our ‘reality’ as being a separate individual, in truth we are all included as part of the greater unified universe. So in essence our existence in the world is to overcome the Grand Illusion that we are separate and alone. This means that the work of therapy is not so much to change the finite limits of behavior, thinking, or emotions, but rather to expand a person’s ‘infinite’ perspective of being part of something greater than themselves. It is therefore through the process of therapy that we hope to...2025-01-1649 minParadox Outta Da Box# 32- The Heart of the MatterMany of us have gone for various training and learned techniques designed to move the client forward. However if the focus of the therapy gets wrapped up in perfecting the technique, then we can often get stuck in the skill or tool and lose sight of the person in front of us. In this podcast we offer that the therapist should try to address the client from a position of caring and empathy. We should recognize that skills and tools will best serve the therapeutic process when they are generated from a heart-centered place. In addition, a heart-centered approach...2024-12-1258 minParadox Outta Da Box# 31 – Does Therapy have to be WORK?Most people assumption that the process of therapy is ‘hard work’ – that inevitably takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. The analogy of ‘pushing a car up a long hill’ is often used to describe how therapy works. If the client keeps pushing and pushing, then eventually he will reach the top of the mountain. The conventional wisdom is that with months and years of constant effort, he will eventually reach the pinnacle of success.
However in pdxi, we see it differently. The high mountain top represents high stress and high tension. Therefore the true work...2024-12-0555 minParadox Outta Da Box# 30 Pdxi - Is Attachment evidence based
For the most part, the field of psychology has attempted to change patterns of behavior by targeting the behavior itself. This is the focus of Behavioral therapy through rewards and punishment, as well as rational or cognitive approaches that appeal to linear logic to influence a change in behavior. And even psychodynamic approaches will delve into one's history to identify the root cause of a behavior with the hope that new insight and understanding will undo negative behaviors and encourage more productive behaviors. It is relatively only more recently that John Bowlby's work in the 1950's on 'attachment' has b...2024-11-2153 minParadox Outta Da Box# 29 Anxiety and Panic AttacksThere are some physicians who believe that anxiety is due to a ‘valium deficiency’… In our fast paced and unpredictable world, it is quite common for people to experience some degree of anxiety. In feeling anxiety a person wants to jump out of his skin in an effort to get 2 steps ahead of himself. Anxiety is also related to feeling alone, abandoned, and disconnected in the world. Panic attacks are an extreme form of anxiety that can make people feel weak and light headed. Pdxi is quite effective in reducing panic attacks by predicting when, where, and the symptoms the cl...2024-11-1451 minParadox Outta Da Box# 28 Treating AddictionsThe opposite of addiction is not ‘sobriety’ rather it is ‘connection’. Essentially when people experience trauma, their experience around the lack of connection feels too painful. As a way to escape the pain, people turn to ways that let them ‘zone out, tune out, and numb out’. Sometimes avoiding the pain becomes a full time job. This is when people become addicted to various substances or repetitive habits – alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, and more recently phones / technology, etc. In this way the physical body gets ‘hooked’ on numbing out. In reality however, all forms of addiction bring the person to respond to the...2024-11-0754 minParadox Outta Da Box# 27 Emotional Focused Therapy – EFTThe advantage of EFT is that by focusing on client emotions we are able to bypass the ‘linear and logical’ defenses of the conscious mind. Since emotions are neither ‘right nor wrong’, couples are better able to share their feelings without the need to be defensive. This in turn allows partners to feel closer as they each feel more seen and understood. The therapist’s role is often paradoxical as his presence is a catalyst for change. A key part of EFT is the therapist’s ability to offer acceptance, empathy, and unconditional positive regard as a way to join the ‘co...2024-10-3156 minParadox Outta Da Box#26 Working in Here & NowThe past is yesterday and the future is tomorrow. So the reality of life is we only have today. The better a person can be present in the here & now, the more fully he is able to live. This means that real change and growth can only happen in the ‘here & now’. Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy) spoke about past trauma as “unfinished business”. He notes that we don’t have to ‘dig into the person’s past’ to find unresolved issues. Whatever trauma is unfinished, it is present in this moment of now. So it stands to reason that for the therapis...2024-10-2454 minParadox Outta Da Box#25 Bullying 2
In this episode we see the 2 follow up sessions (Videos 2 and 3) and the outcome of the intervention. By shifting attachment in a non-threatening way, the boys take it upon themselves to undo problematic behavior. As the therapist, Dr. Kaplan is the catalyst for change, but the boys get full credit for taking control of their impulses. In addition we talk about other absurd type interventions that create attachment and an alliance that effectively undo the bully's usual experience of aloneness and isolation.
2024-10-1754 minParadox Outta Da Box# 24 Boxing the Bully
Many schools struggle with the problem of bullying. Often the plan is to punish the 'behavior' so the child will stop. The hope is that by bringing in his parents or threatening school suspension, this will solve the problem. This video takes a completely different turn. It explores the power and counter-intuitive nature of pdxi in addressing teen sexual bullying in a group setting with adolescents in residential treatment. Here we will view Video 1 in a 3 session series. Ultimately the goal is to shift underlying attachment through 'joining and acceptance'. However this is not what the boys expect, and leads to...2024-10-1058 minParadox Outta Da Box#23 OCD
Therapists agree that underlying anxiety is at the core of OCD. Underlying abandonment and fear of isolation often cause a person to form an OCD behavior that attempts to soothe the anxiety. However such OCD behavior can be debilitating as it can affect relationships with family and work partners. In this video we discuss how emboldening the therapeutic alliance is a way to help the client feel accepted. By working on the alliance we hope to influence the client to 'organically' relax, thereby reducing their compulsion or need to engage in OCD behavior.
2024-10-0454 minParadox Outta Da Box# 22 Humor in therapy
Video 22 - Humor in therapy How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: One. But the lightbulb has to really really want to change!... The best therapy is not always linear and logical. Sometimes in countering clients who are 'stuck in a rut', it works best to offer 'absurd' solutions to their problems. The idea here is not to 'make fun of the client', but rather to shake up the status-quo in how the client is relating to their issue. Humor tends to challenge the client's rigid way of thinking. However it is also important for the t...2024-09-2651 minParadox Outta Da Box#21 Imposter Syndrome
21 Imposter Syndrome - It is not uncommon for therapists to have a nagging sense of 'Imposter Syndrome'. We are often reminded by the media, school teachers, parents, the medical profession, etc. that our 'job' is to get kids, teenagers, and beyond to change their behavior. Unfortunately the reality is that it is an impossible task to change someone else's behavior. For therapists who focus on 'changing behavior' , they often feel like imposters, because they know that their results are inconsistent. A technique that worked on one client, may not make a dent in another - and they may not kno...2024-09-191h 00Paradox Outta Da Box#20 Treatment BurnoutMany therapists assume that it's their job to help the client change behavior. As a result many get stressed out and disappointed when their client(s) do not follow their agenda. However, the absolute reality is that it is impossible to change someone else's behavior. And that is because the client is in control of his own body. In pdxi, we focus on attachment, bonding, and strengthening the connection. Here, the therapist has the ability to forge a better alliance... To prevent burnout, the most important thing to remember is to 'Stay in the Lifeboat'. Ultimately the client only has t...2024-09-1255 minParadox Outta Da Box#19 Couple & Family Therapy Made EZ
When couples and family therapy is successful, many therapists often don't know what turned the tide. The answer is simple. The couple / family felt the therapist joined and accepted them. By 'entering' into the family, the therapist changes the dynamic of the whole system, which thereby allows individuals to spontaneously change without being convinced, instructed, or rewarded. Within this process the therapist becomes a trusted orchestra leader. In our video today the husband learns he doesn't have to take every complaint by his wife 'personally'. This allows him to be less defensive - allowing the relationship to be more...2024-09-0555 minParadox Outta Da Box#18 EATING Disorder Treatment That's Not About EATING
Of course Pdxi is counter-intuitive, but is it really possible to treat an Eating Disorder without focusing on eating and food?! And the answer is a definite 'Yes!' Eating and food are the surface issue we all see, but underneath abandonment and isolation are running the show. This is the advantage of Pdxi - not to get side-tracked by behavior. This is also recognized as part of man's paradoxical nature. Only humans have a finite existence with infinite potential. Todays video shows CBT's approach to Bulimia. But in Pdxi we might use the absurd idea to 'Plan the Nex...2024-08-291h 00Paradox Outta Da Box#17 Gentle Parenting - Does it Work?Therapies that assume that growth should happen with the child, but not the parents start out with a flawed premise. Healthy change means that everyone grows. In pdxi there is awareness that for successful change the parent-child system, as a whole, is the target of treatment. As it turns out, children tend to seek attention - to the point that negative attention is better than no attention. With humor, it is possible to integrate pdxi with Gentle Parenting.
2024-08-151h 00Paradox Outta Da Box#16 Is Pdxi and IFS (Internal Family Systems) Compatible?IFS is a therapy about 'parts' which gives us something specific to integrate and resolve. But Pdxi focuses on the alliance - which has nothing to integrate or resolve. Yet the ultimate goal of IFS is to bring resolution - to the degree that there is nothing to resolve. Therefore IFS and pdxi are compatible! Did you catch that? We also explore a case example on treating selective mutism. Our video today is Carl Rogers working with Richie! I would recommend that Richie should 'coast'....
2024-08-0852 minParadox Outta Da Box#15 FASTALKING Clients who Avoid Treatment
Fast talk is often a defense against feeling one's emotions. We discussed the 'pillow technique' as a non-verbal intervention. Therapists are concerned that the client may feel 'mocked' by this intervention. But more often the client is surprised and curious by what the therapist is doing. The work with the fast talking client is to help them feel safe. This often means to keep them very much in the 'here & now'. This week's video is: Failed Therapy. Here we see an example of what happens when the therapist is unable to generate a trusting alliance.
2024-08-0155 minParadox Outta Da Box#14 Borderline Treatment Strategies - 2James Masterson MD idententified abandonment depression as a core BPD issue. There is no such thing as 'terminating treatment' with a borderline. The answer to ending treatment is to bring in more people and services so that the client will feel less dependent on one therapist to provide for all their needs. BPD are known to fall in love with their therapist. It can be helpful to remind the client about needing to "call your spouse" later as a reminder that you are not available for their fantasy relationship. This week's video mirrors the intensity of an argumentative couple.
2024-07-2558 minParadox Outta Da Box#13 Borderline Personality Treatment - 1Borderlines like being in the 'driver's seat'. Sometimes they will take information you shared with them - and turn it against you. A main issue with BPD is severe underlying abandonment. This makes it very difficult for them to develop trusting relationships. It is almost like they have a 'developmental lag' in being able to relate. This why it is important for the therapist to be consistent, but at the same time remain neutral and non-judgmental. Using the approach of DBT, it is often helpful to work with other therapists simultaneously in addressing BPD issues. In this way we can...2024-07-1854 minParadox Outta Da Box#12 Who should CONTROL Therapy?Therapist or Client? It is not uncommon for clients to try and take control of therapy as a way to protect themselves. We offered a role-play to show how the therapist can interrupt client attempts to stay in control. We discussed a case example: 'Father lectures his Kids'. In addition, we followed up with our volunteer who PROCRASTINATES.
2024-07-1148 minParadox Outta Da Box#11 What makes Paradox Psychology different from other therapies?The intent of pdxi is to take away the client's underlying sense of loneliness and isolation. When treatment is successful in doing this, behavior will shift spontaneously. In Pdxi, we try not to offer solutions to the client's problems. Rather the focus is to help the client DISCOVER his own solutions. When this happens, he is more likely to follow through on his own idea. During the video, Dr. Kaplan did a live intervention with one of the participants who volunteered to see if Pdx could help him with his PROCRASTINATION.
2024-07-0454 minParadox Outta Da Box#10 Is it ever OK for the therapist to TantrumCranky time with Daddy
In effort to change kid, most therapy focuses on the parents
Aren't you mocking the client?!
Is Therapist willing to challenge his own limits?
When do we need parental permission?
Video - Reid Wilson - Mirroring client
Propaganda in psychology
PDXI influences therapist to grow too.
Learning about client by imitating their mannerisms
"I'm feeling left out..."
Case study: Helping client express anger toward therapist
2024-06-2757 minParadox Outta Da Box#9 The Science of Paradox - Based on Orbits-Gravity Theory
Orbits-Gravity phenomena is the scientific basis for all natural sciences. Orbits represent repetitive cycles of behavior as seen in addiction issues, mental health, repetitive criminal behavior, and couple / family conflict. The solar model 'flattens' orbits so we can more easily track patterns of repetitive behavior. We explore a case involving selective mutism, Therapy removes any expectation for the child to talk. At the same time we turn his refusal to talk into a 'game'.
2024-06-2058 minParadox Outta Da Box#8 When all else fails, Carl Rogers Prevails
Although not known for paradoxical interventions, Carl Rogers is the original paradox guy. CRogers seems to do nothing, and personifies the pdxi method as being a therapy about nothing, In addition we 'deconstruct' CBT in an effort to explain why it works. We also address an OCD intervention encouraging the client to increase checking from 5x to 10x. This is an absurd suggestion however humor in pdxi undermines rigid behavior. Our video is with Carl Rogers offering 'unconditional positive regard' with client (Sylvia).
2024-06-131h 00Paradox Outta Da Box#7 Addressing the ANGRY client
As therapists we hope to provide services that allow clients to grow. However sometimes clients may become triggered by their history and take their anger out on the therapist. The podcast will look at 'habitual anger', as well as ways to predict patterns or 'waves' of anger. Sometimes a client can get angry if he concludes that the therapist is trying to trick him with 'reverse psychology'. In addressing anger, we will discuss the need for the therapist to stay calm and centered in the 'Life Boat'. Our video is with Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy) and Gloria. Gloria expresses a...2024-06-0658 minParadox Outta Da Box#6 What should the therapist's agenda be?
Sometimes therapists can get stuck in their own agenda of what they think the client should be working on. The podcast advocates for the therapist's agenda to be accepting and present with the client in the 'here & now'. If the client becomes confused, this is a positive sign that therapy is working. Confusion often means that the client is experiencing an internal reorganization of their previous rigid mindset. By undoing a client's experience of isolation therapy allows for relation and change. The live video explores the 'Borderline Personality' and her attempt to control treatment. However Dr. Kaplan turns the ta...2024-05-3059 minParadox Outta Da Box#5 Massacre in Israel. - When client and therapist share the same trauma
This podcast tries to process a shared tragedy and the use of self-disclosure. We discuss the concept of 'time travel' to heal abandonment issues from the past. Novel live video: "You remind me of my father!" Dr. Kaplan had triggered client (Perla) in videoed session. Perla is present during podcast to discuss her experience of intervention.
2024-04-0453 minParadox Outta Da Box#4 Fear of using Paradoxical interventions - "I could never say that!"Many therapists are afraid of pdxi. Interventions often do not match what they assume therapy is supposed to be. In a counter-intuitive manner, pdxi does not focus on changing behavior. While behavior does shift as a secondary effect, the actual focus of pdxi is to strengthen the therapeutic attachment and alliance. To this degree pdxi comes off as illogical. However 90% of the method is based on the work of Carl Rogers. A live video shows the power of creating a connection without having an overt agenda for the client (Gedolia) to change. We will discuss a case of how p...2024-03-211h 05Paradox Outta Da BoxEP 3: New Yorker Magazine- Not So Funny Therapist Humor.In this episode Dr. Kaplan and Naftoli analyze an article and talk about the different ways paradox can be used, how the client feels to be on the receiving end of a paradoxical intervention, and of course absurd interventions.2024-03-1551 minParadox Outta Da BoxEP 2: Attachment and Hijacking the AllianceIn this episode we take a look at attachment in therapy and how paradox comes into play. We'll chat about how paradox helps us work with client resistance and build a solid therapeutic relationship. We'll also check out a video of Carl Rogers showing how empathy and genuineness have a powerful impact, setting a benchmark for all therapists.2024-03-1551 minParadox Outta Da BoxThe Resistance ParadoxThis pilot episode explores the relationship between paradox and resistance in therapy. Dr. Eliot Kaplan, Ph.D., Naftoli Sobel LCSW, and others discuss the concept, challenging conventional wisdom and considering whether therapists or clients are more resistant to change.
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