Shows
The Pleasure For Health PodcastHow we related to our Mother effects our ability to loveJoin me as I chat with Leslie Costello, a certified Perinatal Psychotherapist and certified Bioenergetic Therapist about early bonding and how that affects our adult relationships. We discussed the enmeshment of the early infant and mother relationship, the shame that can come with this. We even touched on AI and how that might be impeding our relational maturity.
Leslie is the author of "Helping Mothers, Helping Babies: Somatic Perinatal Psychotherapy" a book designed to help talk therapists bring somatic tools into their sessions with mothers.
Links:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/helping-mothers-helping-babies-somatic-perinatal-psychotherapy-leslie-ann-costello/22519210?ean=9781739017057&nex...
2025-08-2549 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhy do I have to talk about it?Why do I have to talk about it? communication is key to good relationships but does it really require hours of discussion? Let’s dive into how and why talking is helpful and other options if talking is not your strong point.
Find out more about me and my offerings on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com
2025-08-0424 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastDesire mismatch and how to create more intimacyDesire mismatch. Let’s talk about what happens when two people have different levels of erotic desire. This could be due to personality differences or because of childbirth, illness or some other life event. How can the relationship stay alive and connected during this times? Join Ailsa live to find out more.
2025-06-2219 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastRelationships are a mirrorHow do relationships act as a mirror for us in our own personal development and how do we know when to stand up for our own perspective? Join me for an exploration of the idea of "I", "you" and the "group" and if they can work together to further our journey towards Self.
2025-05-0619 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastThe Sacred Inner Marriage and how to integrate this in our SelfWhat is the Sacred Marriage within and more importantly how can we actually embody this? Let’s look at the reality of integrating opposing aspects of ourselves such as the conscious and unconscious parts of our Psyche.
2025-04-0322 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastChaos, Eros and Falling in Love!In the beginning was Chaos who birthed Eros, Gaia and other gods and goddesses of the night, dreaming, darkness, the underworld. These qualities are necessary to experience 'Falling in Love' and surrendering to desire and passion. Join me for a discussion of this topic and follow me on Podbean or my website www.pleasureforhealth.com
2025-02-1619 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastStressors that can make or break your relationshipsJoin me as I talk about different types of stressors and how they affect our relationships. This model of looking at horizontal and vertical axes in our lives and what we might be bringing unconsciously into our present moment with loved ones is super helpful if you want to find more intimacy and depth.
2025-01-0220 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow co-dependent patterns lead to partisan societiesCo dependency is a pattern often passed on in family systems. We are recognized and acknowledged for only certain parts of ourselves and other parts are ignored or denied. This leads to a discrepancy with who we think we are and the reality of our Shadow aspects which still have power in our lives and relationships. Learning to see and recognize these hidden parts of ourselves by being 'triggered' is actually a necessary vehicle for personal growth.
2024-11-1818 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastPresence: The foundation of IntimacyPresence is the foundation for Intimacy. Join me as we talk about what presence is and how we can cultivate more presence from both ourselves and our loved ones. Being physically present is not enough, when we are fully present with someone we listen deeply, notice subtle emotions and respond with authenticity.
2024-10-0418 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastTension and Relaxation in the Quest for PleasureWhat are the roles of tension and relaxation in our ability to feel and experience pleasure? Join me for a discussion of the roles of both of these aspects and how they can work together to expand our sense of pleasure in both mind and body.
2024-08-1116 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastThe Maiden, Mother Crone Triple Goddess and how we increase vitality in our SelfFrom the perspective of the Celtic Triple Goddess - the Maiden the Mother and the Crone, how do we sense our vitality? Using the lens of our sexuality, our spirituality and our creativity we gain the full spectrum of our own life force. Join me for a discussion and exploration of this framework of Self Development.
to see more of me and my work, check out www.pleasureforhealth.com
2024-07-0419 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastControlling or not? A look at relationship dynamics of controlWhy do we seek to control others or the world around us? Often it stems from a fear or anxiety that is based in our own Psyche but we don't want to deal with it in ourselves so we use the effort of controlling others to try and feel better. This kind of control or manipulation can look like blaming, being critical or shutting others down. If we understand more about ourselves and where these controlling impulses come from, we can be honest and open in relationships. Join me for a discussion on this topic.
find more a...
2024-06-0224 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastPeople Pleasing - The Pros and ConsAre you tired of constantly putting others' needs before your own, only to feel unappreciated and emotionally drained? Discover how the seemingly harmless habit of people-pleasing can lead to a loss of authenticity, emotional exhaustion, and a blurred sense of self, and learn how to break free from this cycle to reclaim your life and relationships!
We will discuss also how People Pleasing could be a positive attribute when coming from a place of integrity and Care for others.
2024-03-0919 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastAging and Male SexualityAging has profound effects on many aspects of our health and wellbeing. Particularly around our sexuality and relational wellness, aging can be a doorway to profoundly shift our way of being in our body and with our partner/s. Join me for a discussion around erectile dysfunction in all of its various forms.
find more info at www.pleasureforhealth.com
2024-02-1128 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastGuest speaker Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers- Sex positive parenting and becoming ShamelessDr. Tina is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, best-selling author, researcher, emeritus Professor and media personality whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, parenting, medicine and social justice. Join Ailsa and special guest Dr. Tina in this discussion of Shame and how it affects our ability to parent our kids effectively and in a healthy way.
Dr. Tina can be found on Instagram @DrTinaShameless
Her published works include: 'Sex, God and the Conservative Church' and 'Shameless Parenting' available on Amazon and most booksellers.
You can find out more about Ailsa at ww...
2024-01-0348 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat is Desire?Many great Philosopher’s and Sages have wrestled with the concept of desire. But what is it and what purpose does it serve for us as human beings? In all truth I will probably not answer these questions any more fully than they have already been answered but let’s ponder some thoughts and feelings around desire together and see where it leads us.
Find out more on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-12-2919 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastDoes the birth control really give us more freedom?I have been weighing this thought recently that birth control options still give a huge amount of responsibility to the female in a relationship to 'take care' of things so physical intimacy can be enjoyed without risk of pregnancy. Is this actually allowing more freedom to us or does this mean the effects are often landing on only one person to make really difficult choices? Join me for a discussion of the pros and cons and find out more about my work at www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-11-1319 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhy does being with a Narcissist make me feel so bad?Why do Narcissists make me feel so bad?
As humans, we have an innate desire to connect in community; find our pack, so to speak. A major part of this communal experience is the feeling of co-regulation with others. It connects us on this physiological level through our nervous system.
On our own, we have ways to Self regulate if we are stressed that might include taking a deep breath or exercising. Self-regulation is a process of managing one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in response to external and internal stimuli. Co-regu...
2023-09-2818 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat’s our body telling us?As a Bodyworker I have seen many examples of how disease and dysfunction has a deeper meaning to the person however I never put that together with sexual issues with our genitals in the same way, especially with the male genital. Join me for a discussion of the existential meaning of our genitals.
www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-08-3014 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastYour relationship as an initiatory experienceA couple facing crisis in their relationship, such as separation or divorce, is on an initiatory path. Initiation is simply a set of challenges presented to an individual so that he or she may grow. Consequently, the troubles we encounter in our paths in the modern world are, in essence, initiatory to the extent that each one of them is life changing. The issue for Westerners is not so much the absence of initiation as it is the absence of a community to recognize initiatory passages.
Malidoma Patrice Some
Join me to discuss how relationships ca...
2023-07-1919 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastDo our memories make our self and what happens if AI stores all our memories?"Our experience of our own identity is linked to the realization of our own life history. Because the ‘treasure of our memories’ is what makes our lives whole."
R. Steiner
How does this affect our understanding of ourselves and potentially our use and relationship with Artificial intelligence?
2023-05-1818 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow sharing your fantasies can increase intimacy with your partnerHow can we spice up our sex lives again?
I wanted to address this topic, because it is one of the most common issues I hear about on a daily basis. We all hear about couples becoming ‘best friends’ or about ‘lesbian bed death’ or how ‘we haven’t had sex in months’, or ‘he/she is just not interested in me anymore’ from our friends, coworkers, on TV. The idea that inevitably our sex lives diminish the longer we stay with someone in a committed relationship, or the older we get, is endemic in our society.
2023-04-2717 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastTalking about Touchtouch is a basic human need and its important to understand we can learn about touch - what we like, what we don't like, how to ask for touch or how to say no. What 'touches' you? How could you feed your own touch needs without having an intimate partner. Join me for this discussion and look for more ways to connect with me on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-03-2916 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow can we become a better partner?Have you ever thought about whether you are a good companion or partner? We often focus so much on the ’other’ that we forget to take into account our own personality. Let’s look at how we can become a better person and partner and therefore attract a great person or people into our life. You can find out more about me on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-02-1816 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhy do I sabotage my relationships?Do you sabotage your relationships? Why do we do this and how does it serve us to do this? maybe most of all, how can we stop sabotaging ourselves and our relationships? Join me for a live discussion on these topics. find out more about me and my work here:
www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-02-0720 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastSelf Esteem is an Intimate Experience"The tragedy of many people's lives is that they look for self esteem in every direction but within and therefore they fail in their search." The intimacy of connecting with Self and the awareness and honesty we bring to that relationship increases our Self Esteem and we begin to live life and make choices from a place of high self esteem. Join me for a discussion of these topics based on Nathanial Branden's book on Self Esteem.
www.pleasureforhealth.com
2023-01-2424 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastThe overcoupling response and how to work with it consciouslyDo you get stuck in a loop of 'if this... then that....' ? Does this type of reaction get in the way of you creating a more intimate and conscious relationship with your partner? Join me for a discussion on how we create these response loops and how we can work with them to recreate new ways of being.
www.ailsakeppie.com for more info
2023-01-0423 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastPowerPlay for beginnersAre you interested in exploring Power Play in your intimate relationships but don't know how to begin? Join me here for a candid discussion of the important points to consider when introducing Power Play to your partner and how to make sure it is pleasurable and fun for everyone involved.
See more at www.pleasureforhealth.com for support and education around relationships and intimacy
2022-12-2721 minThe Pleasure For Health Podcastthe 3 steps to transform painThere are 3 simple steps to transforming your experience of pain or illness and allowing it to bring to consciousness important Self awareness aspects you may have been avoiding or hiding in your subconscious.
These three skills are simple and yet require some dedicated practice in order to reap the benefits of using them. As with any other relationship, the partnership we have with our body has requirements in order to make it a healthy and beneficial one.
1- Listen
2- feel
3- embody
check out my website f...
2022-11-1017 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastAre you and your partner living in the same reality?How does your personal view of reality shape your relationship and your ability to be intimate and connected with someone else? Are we creating an open-minded society or more of a closed society where one reality is the only one. Let's chat about the way we approach relationships and how that is potentially affecting our whole society.
www.pleasureforhealth.com
2022-10-2121 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastFundamentalist thought as a coping strategyDo you find that you have retreated into a smaller and smaller box in your thinking and acceptance of alternate views? We have collectively all been through a very stressful time the last couple of years and I have noticed that many of us have become more entrenched in our own viewpoints. Is this fundamentalist phenomenon a response to feeling unsafe and if so how can we move towards collective safety and acceptance again?
2022-09-0820 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat does ’connection’ mean?Join me to discuss the idea of connection and friendship/ relationship ties. Using the famous story of 'The Little Prince'. Here is a short excerpt from his dialogue with the fox.
What does that mean--'tame'?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."
"'To establish ties'?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part...
2022-08-1017 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat is relational abuse?Going live in a couple of minutes What is relationship abuse? We are currently in a culture of calling people out in a more public way than perhaps a couple of decades ago. Abusive behaviour is not tolerated the way it once was. But do we need to catch up on how to really tell what is abuse and what is just an easier way to blame someone else for our issues? These are important things to consider when beginning a new relationship or evaluating an old one.
2022-08-0332 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastDoes the way you answer a question determine your relationship health?Are you more of a one word answer person or do you launch into the complexities of your thought process every time you are asked a question? Why do we communicate the way we do and how does it affect our relationships?
2022-07-1512 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWall or boundaries?What walls do you put up in order to avoid intimacy? Join me as we talk about the rigid boundaries we create to protect ourselves: anger, fear, silence and words. When we created these rigid blocks or boundaries we are responding in a dysfunctional way to protect our sense of self or reality that we haven't yet learned how to create from within.
Find out more about me at www.ailsakeppie.com
2022-06-2520 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastThe Art of Receiving pleasureThe art of Receiving Pleasure
On first glance this seems like something we hardly need to go into in any depth. I mean who doesn’t want to receive pleasure? How hard can it be?
The answer most of us come to is actually very difficult indeed.
Why?
Because it takes much more vulnerability to open the door and receive a gift than it does to leave a gift on someone else’s doorstep. Many of us become avid givers of gifts in the hope th...
2022-06-0223 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat do you want me to do for you?What happens when your partner innocently asks you a question like "What do you want me to make you for breakfast?"
Do you respond with your breakfast order and settle comfortably at the table to receive your partner's gift or does the question throw you into a myriad of internal conflict?
Join me for a discussion of the nuances of relating and how questions like this can make or break your relationship.
Find out more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com
2022-04-1622 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastPower: the ups and downsHow does power affect relationships? Is power bad? how can we take our power and how do we give away power. Join me for a discussion on this 'power-full' topic.
2022-04-0519 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastBringing our wounds to light and finding wholeness in pleasureHow do we deal with our own emotions around intimacy and relationships? What do we need to discuss with our partners and what do we need to hold ourselves? Are there other ways to get support around our relational wounds? Join me for a discussion of these topics and questions today.
2022-03-2118 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastThe cyclical nature of violence and its effects on relationships"We are, both the potentially nicest, and the potentially cruelest, species on the planet." Augustin Fuentes
How will we transform violence and stop it from perpetuating more violence in our hearts, minds, families and communities? Join me for a discussion about violence and the long term effects and how to begin the healing.
www.pleasureforhealth.com
2022-02-2821 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastRelationship skills could save the worldHow do we show up to ourselves, our relationships and to our communities these days? Are we abnegating responsibility or are we getting involved and personal with people around us? It's easy to shame and blame others if we don't 'know' them, but how would it be if we chose to encounter even those we don't agree with, with some openness and willingness to engage? These relationship skills are necessary to creating a peaceful way forward in these days of conflict.
2022-02-1716 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastDating over 50What specific challenges face people who are choosing to date again in their mid to late life? Perhaps having been in a long term relationship or single for awhile, it is finally time to reinvest in finding a partner, or companion or erotic playmate. Let's chat about things to consider and ways to move forward with getting back out there in the dating scene.
2022-02-0719 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow can we make conflict a generative force towards intimacy?We have not learned to be present with ourselves yet for the most part and because we live in a world with oppression and exploitation, we often meet conflict in a way that is combative. Let's talk about how to change that narrative and learn to use conflict as a force or change and growth.
2022-02-0118 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow is our collective trauma affecting your relationships?We are all going through a stressful and fearful time right now and this is having real, long term effects on our ability to be present and loving in our relationships. Join me for a discussion on how trauma affects our ability to be intimate and also what we can do about it.
2022-01-1419 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastIs it flirting or fawning?What is the difference between the 'fawn' trauma response and flirting? How can we tell the difference in our interactions with others and in our own bodies? Fawning, as a response to feeling unsafe, is the act of excessive people pleasing that can lead us to become involved in abusive relationships patterns.
2021-11-2315 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastInanna‘s descent -an inner journeyInanna in this piece, so the interpretation goes, is not a `whole person' until she appears vulnerable before her `darker half', dies, and returns to life. At the poem's end, this interpretation asserts, Inanna, through her descent into darkness, the shedding of the trappings of her former self, confrontation with her `shadow', death of who she was, and final re-birth, is now a complete individual, wholly aware. Join me for a discussion, reading and a practice to glean the lessons from this story that resonate with many of our own inner journey's, even today. This is aimed at women...
2021-10-3139 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastAsk Ailsa - what do you say when someone asks - What do you want in bed?How do you answer the question, 'what do you want in bed'? Sometimes learning about our arousal and desires takes some work. Join me for a discussion and a guided exercise to discover what turns you on and what doesn't.
2021-10-1117 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow do we make choices?Making a choice can be complex. Which part of us is in the driver's seat? What are our motivations and desires? Are we in integrity or do we have conflicting wants? When we take time to explore how we make choices and which part of ourselves is making the choice, we can become aware and really take responsibility for our choices in our relationships.
2021-09-2820 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhy should I hire a Sex and Intimacy coach?We can learn everything these days, from building a chicken coop to writing a book, but learning about Sex or Relationships is still a taboo thing. Why would we want to hire a sex coach and how should we value this type of learning?
2021-09-1120 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow do we create consensual agreements around Covid in our relationships?These days there is much to negotiate in our intimate relationships. We're all still in a state of fight or flight, making us more susceptible to arguments and generally feeling more stressed out which only makes these fights harder to navigate. People are discussing important topics like how to navigate Covid and health related issues, as well as socializing, mask wearing and other important social questions right now. Let's look at this from the lens of consent and how to negotiate a consensual agreement that can work for both parties.
2021-09-0419 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastShame and its effects on intimacyShame is a self-absorbed, self-centred and isolating experience so how do we show up to our intimate relationships if we hold a lot of shame in our bodies? How can we work to shift this Shame experience that often leads to a fight or flight response because we feel our relational bonds are threatened. If we stay in shame we are profoundly unable to engage in a healthy attachment with people around us.
Find out more about me at www.pleasureforhealth.com
2021-08-1616 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow do the stages of grief inform our relationships?Grieving goes through a cycle: denial, pain, anger, depression, upward turn and working through and finally hope. How does this play out in our intimate relationships and how can we more consciously work with these stages to build more intimacy.
2021-07-2316 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastAsk Ailsa - has the pandemic isolation made you afraid of touch and connection?How can we get our nervous system back on track and feeling 'safe enough' to reach out and connect with people again after so much collective stress? Join me for some tips on re-starting your ventral vagal system to find pleasure and contact.
2021-07-0613 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastSelf care in relationshipsHow can we balance self care and relationships? Listen to find out.
2021-07-0217 min
The Pleasure For Health Podcastthe art of being a good listenerlistening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. The skill of listening underpins all positive human relationships.
2021-06-2220 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat kind of commitment can you expect in your new relationships?Commitment is a touchy subject for people in new relationships. Let's talk about what we can realistically expect on the commitment front.
2021-06-1615 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastHow do you manage social media and your relationships?Today's podcast for Ask Ailsa will be on the topic of social media. Should you change your social media to reflect a new relationship? Should you remove pictures of ex partners? how do we navigate relationship etiquette in today's world?
2021-06-0827 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastStaying Intimate Even With STIListen in as we explore the topic of intimacy and how it is still possible, even with an STI.
2021-05-2712 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastAsk Ailsa - Fighting Fair In Your RelationshipWe are often faced with conflict in our relationships - let's talk about how to turn conflict into pathways for growth in our relationships.
2021-04-1918 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastAsk Ailsa - How do we relate to support in our relationships?Relationships are complicated, complex, sometimes demanding yet remain spaces where amazing experiences happen! So, just how then do we manage support in our relationship structures?
#relationships #undermining #awareness #behavior #habit #response #bodylanguage
2021-04-1911 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastDo You Feel Lonely In Your Relationship?In light of the pandemic, many people are experiencing levels of loneliness in their relationships that are sometimes difficult to manage. Join Ailsa as she explores this sensitive topic on this episode of the Ask Ailsa Podcast.
2021-03-2220 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastHow To Build Trust In A Relationship?Join Ailsa on today's podcast as she explores strategies to build trust in a relationship.
2021-03-2221 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastIs Being Honest Always The Best Policy?We're always taught to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth. So, for today's podcast, I'll open up a controversial topic about honesty, and the value we place on it.
2021-02-2615 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastHow Do We Define Cheating In RelationshipsA controversial and highly-debatable topic, to be sure. Join me on this podcast as I explore what the modern definition of cheating is believed to be, at least by some.
2021-02-2616 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastWhat should you do for Valentine’s Day?You may associate Valentines Day with St. Valentine, but, many cultures celebrate this day in various ways - from animal sacrifice as a symbol of fertility to the giving of wooden spoons! Tune in as we explore these interesting aspects of Valentine Day.
2021-02-0815 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastCan you be friends & lovers?It's an age-old question? And it's a struggle many face today. How can we maintain friendship status having been lovers? Listen in as we do a deep dive on this most interesting topic.
2021-01-1814 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastHow much time should you spend with your partner?I On today's episode of the Pleasure for Health podcast, I do deep dive on how much time should we really be spending with our partners, in light of the pandemic, and for when we return to 'normal time'.
2021-01-1816 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastIntense Emotions & IntimacyAre we afraid of intense emotion?
This question was raised recently in a discussion on how we tend to equate all high emotional states with sex. This seemed to be especially true of men.
Our culture has forbidden men to show much real emotion at all, and quite often this ‘shutting down’ of their emotion, has led men to categorize and box up intense emotional states with the physical act of intimacy.
This box, we put our sexuality into, is then also labelled taboo and shut up inside another box, just like a set...
2020-12-2225 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastImprinted MemoriesI’ve been pondering the idea of how we are all connected. Not just in the usual way we might talk about connection in the present time, but connected throughout history.
We have been asked by the indigenous people of this country, to have an awareness of the ancestors, the people that have walked on this land before us, the tribes of indigenous people who lived where today we have built our towns and cities.
How do we honour these people? How do we create relationships or connections with them?
2020-12-2223 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastGetting a black belt in lifeHow do you get a black belt in life and why would you want to?
I was sitting in the cafe pondering on my last few years, and since this month, we are dealing with self esteem and how this either makes or breaks our pleasure and our relationships, I decided to write about getting a black belt in life.
2020-12-0222 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastFeeling "not good enough" is a cultural phenomenonWhy do we suffer from this crippling feeling of never being good enough? Where does it come from? And more importantly, how do we get rid of it?
2020-12-0223 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastDivorce the story and marry the truthWhatever you need to do, divorce the story and marry the truth.
This saying struck me recently as being a great mantra to live by. We make up so many stories, about ourselves, about why we are in the place we are, about what people think of us, about what we are destined to do. Most of us live in our stories all of the time!
2020-11-0225 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastCan't you just be logical?Ok guys, this one is for you.
Let me tell you a little story and you see if it sounds like something you have experienced.
It’s your wife’s birthday (sub in ‘girlfriend’, ‘partner’ if needed ) and you, thinking you are ahead of the game, smugly ask a week or so in advance, what she’d like as a present. Score one for you right? You’re on the ball, you are thinking of her, you are asking what she likes. What could go wrong?
2020-11-0223 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastIgnorance, Betrayal & Your BodyI recently had a friend who has been blessed with pretty great physical health for most of his life; a couple of small day surgeries, a minor motorcycle incident, a bit of a struggle with keeping a healthy weight and exercising regularly, but overall, in pretty good shape; ‘suddenly’ struck down with severe pain. He couldn’t remember doing anything to cause this sudden onset, and he was pretty shaken with how much of life became intolerable, due to this pain.
I see this happen, again and again, in my practice, people who have never had an issue p...
2020-09-2428 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastCinderella SyndromeHow many of you dreamed of being Cinderella when you were little? Come on, admit it...you secretly dressed up in your prettiest party outfit with a crown made from your Mom’s brooch or something like that. You danced your way around the living room, sashaying and curtsying to an imaginary court. The ultimate goal of the entire story was to attract the handsome Prince and then live happily ever after in wedded bliss.
2020-09-2425 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastThe True Challenge of EqualityA passion of mine is to work towards true equality and understanding between people of different gender, sexuality, race, financial means, ability. This may seem like a big dream, and it is, but it is also possible if we change a few beliefs. Our culture is built on inequality, and competition feeds the feeling that only one side can win, and if you’re not winning then you are losing.
2020-08-3120 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastEvery body is uniqueI wanted to touch on something that really stuck in my mind from recent teachings...
“There is often more difference between people’s genitals that are the same gender than there are between people of different genders.”
So what does that mean? Well, to put it simply, it means we are all different. No surprise there in our heads, but then, Why do we insist on ‘teaching’ about sex, as if we are all the same?
2020-08-3122 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastPrioritizing PleasureI have decided to take the month of April and describe a little bit of my journey as I begin my advanced training in Somatic Sex Education. After my first week of exploring gender, I peeked ahead to look at our next assignment. My first thought was.... AWESOME!
The task was to make time for four personal erotic exploration sessions within a week.
Best homework ever, right?
My body was excited, I was excited. It was permission to spend time pleasuring myself! I’m really not sure why I...
2020-07-3119 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastSo, What does being a Somatic Sex Educator mean, really?For a start, this field, as a profession, is relatively new. The importance of somatic or bodywork training in conjunction with traditional sex therapy or coaching has only recently begun to be explored. As well, the idea that sex therapy could be something positive, something other than the old paradigm of ‘sexual dysfunctions’ and ‘problems’ is a modern idea. What if we just want to explore our own unique desire map? Or how to feel more pleasure with our partners. What if we want the connection to our own body before we are ready to connect physically with others? Where do...
2020-07-3123 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastThe Surprising Benefits Of Empowering Choice And Voice Around SexEmpowerment!
I know that’s a word that gets thrown around a lot these days, and even I, roll my eyes when I see another slogan with the message of ‘empower yourself’ written blithely on a landing page for another coaching course. So, here’s the thing, empowerment is possible. It isn’t something you always get in ‘three easy steps’, but it is possible to live into, in your body. I’ll tell you how I found this out for myself.
2020-06-2521 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastDo We Want A Future With Replaceable Bodies?I am a bodyworker. Every day I work with people’s relationships to their body. It constantly amazes me how disconnected most of us have become, from our ‘physicalness’. When was the last time you really connected with your earlobe? Or more practically, when was the last time you really sent gratitude to your feet for carrying you around all day? When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel?
2020-06-2518 minThe Pleasure For Health PodcastI'm A Guy - Not A Mind Reader!So I have spent the last week or two having some really great talks with my guy friends, and to say its been eye-opening is an understatement! I have been blown away by the openness, the caring, and the vulnerability I have witnessed in men. I also see how confused and helpless they feel in the shifting social culture of our times, characterized by the media #metoo campaign.
2020-05-2818 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastI Just Want To Please Her!I hear this from so many men, this desire to please their female partners. Often they laugh and say they wish there was a manual that went with the woman. I mean women are complex, right? We are notoriously hard to read, and we seem to have a penchant for changing our minds right when things are going well. I mean what is a guy to do?
2020-05-2817 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastExploring Sensational PlaySo this week I thought I’d give a taste of what is possible when you expand your ideas around play in the bedroom. Maybe you feel like you’ve gotten in a rut, performing the same few things with the same partner, and finding yourself becoming bored with the predictability. You may find yourself sighing and wishing things were more exciting, or worse, blaming your partner for not being more ‘romantic’.
2020-05-0819 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastSo, what's really going on down there?One of my first clients was a woman in her 70’s who, after talking to me, wanted to know where things were down there. She had been raised in a strict Catholic setting, and although she had been married and borne a child, she had divorced several years later, and had never really thought about her nether parts since then.
2020-05-0818 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastGender EqualityOpen your mind to the various aspects of gender equality.
2020-05-0820 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastRedefining RelationshipsModern-day relationships require skills, and skills require practice. Join me for a quick exercise that you could try with your current partner/s or friends.
2020-05-0821 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastGiving AND Receivingt is fast approaching the holiday season and I felt inspired to write a blog on the art of giving and receiving, since we can get caught up in the frenzy of this, and lose our perspective.
2020-01-1017 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastThe Inside Feeling of FailureTony was a man in his late 40’s, successful by outward appearance, but on the inside feeling that he had somehow failed at life.
2020-01-1018 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastBeing A Goddess Is About Being PerfectSomewhere, somehow, the idea got lodged in our psyche that to be a goddess we had to be perfect, or at least better than human. We had to look beautiful, radiate energy, smile always, dance and move like we are 20 years old. We could never be angry, frustrated, bored or tired. Being a goddess didn’t include...
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2020-01-1023 min
The Pleasure For Health PodcastEveryone wants better sex but no one wants to talk about it!Join Ailsa, and her partner Declan, as they discuss the allusions to sex that exist in our society today, and the reluctance people have to talk about it!
2019-09-1021 min