Shows
Proxy with Yowei ShawNicole Can't Stop Being AggroNicole is an organizer who's good at channeling her anger. The problem is she can't always downshift. From the episode:
Learn more about Deborah Gould, a Professor and Chair of Sociology at UC Santa Cruz
Read Debbie's book Moving Politics: Emotion and ACT UP's Fight Against AIDS
For liner notes and reading recs from Debbie and Nicole, sign up for our newsletter by becoming a free member of our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/ProxyPodcast
Radiotopia’s fall fundraiser is in full swing! Proxy is a part of Radi...
2025-12-0253 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawBob and the Forgiveness SpellErin wants to forgive the person she's holding a grudge against, but doesn't know how. Is it possible to just disappear resentment?From the episode:
Find Robert Enright's forgiveness program and other free resources at the International Forgiveness Institute: www.internationalforgiveness.com
Read Bob's book Forgiveness Is A Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope
Learn more about Bob and his research
This week kicks off Radiotopia’s fall fundraiser! Proxy is a part of Radiotopia, a collective of independent, creator-owned podcasts. Not only does your don...
2025-11-0445 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawYaroslava Can't Go HomeYaroslava’s town in Ukraine was taken by Russians. She's now safe in the US. But how do you make a new life when you feel guilty about not being home?For one week every summer at Dignity Beyond Borders, young people from all over the world who've suffered a traumatic loss due to political violence come together to kayak, make art, and have proxy conversations about topics like this. A special conversation between Yaroslava, a 1st-time camper, and Sariyah Abuzant, a 26-year-old woman from Palestine, sho's been to the...
2025-10-2141 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawHow This Introvert Ally Gets Along with Introverts (Plus Campaign Update)How close are we to getting to 1000 paying Patreon members so we can cover the costs of making a year two?!Plus, a conversation with introvert ally (and extrovert) Jennifer Kahnweiler on the changes she's made to get along better with the introverts in her life. To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏
2025-10-1410 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe First Ever Extrovert-Introvert Cage MatchA historic step in extrovert-introvert relations i.e. a proxy bloodbath roundtable with 2 extroverts and 2 introverts airing our grievances about each other. From the episode:
Learn more about Aparna Nancherla, read her book Unreliable Narrator, and follow her on Instagram @aparnapkin
Learn more about Ryan Letts at Pando Integration Coaching
Learn more about Jennifer Kahnweiler, listen to her podcast Introvert Ally, and read her book The Genius of Opposites
This is a special membership campaign episode! Help us get to 1000 paying Patreon members by Oct. 31st to cover the co...
2025-10-0744 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawAn Estrangement MysteryAt the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they’ve told their parents why they’re walking away, while parents say they don’t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?From the episode:
Learn more about Becca Bland and her work with families and people surviving estrangement
Learn more about Joshua Coleman, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and read his book New Rules of Estrangement
Learn more about reporter Kim Nederveen Pieterse
This...
2025-09-3041 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawJC's Kids Won't Talk To HerThe case of the mom who doesn’t understand, and the daughter who’s done explaining.From the episode:
Learn more about Chess Dugas, subscribe to her YouTube channel The Scapegoat Club, and follow her on TikTok
Learn more about Joshua Coleman, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and read his book New Rules of Estrangement
Learn more about reporter Kim Nederveen Pieterse
Help us get to 1500 paying Patreon members by Oct. 9th to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism!Pro...
2025-09-231h 00
Proxy with Yowei ShawAlex and the Impossible AskAlex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show called Hyperfixed. He loves making it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates doing.From the episode:
Listen to Alex Goldman's new podcast Hyperfixed
Learn more about Haley Bash and Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people who fundraise for under-resourced causes
The Accidental Fundraiser, Haley's step-by-step guide to raising money for your cause
Proxy is an independent podcast and we r...
2025-09-0955 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawSandy and the SilenceEver since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.From the episode:
Learn more about Sandy Ernest Allen and his work
Sandy's newsletter What's Helping Today
For suggestions on how to support trans people, read"To Cis People Who Feel Despair"
Follow Sandy on Bluesky @sandyernestallen and see the post
Support Sandy's writing with a tip: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallen
Proxy is an independent podcast a...
2025-08-2631 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawHow to Cope with NowAnya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. From the episode:
Learn more about Anya Kamenetz and her work
Read Anya's newsletter The Golden Hour
Listen to We Are the Great Turning, a podcast Anya produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Ma...
2025-08-1237 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawProxy Conversations with Sexual Offenders?A conversation with Dr. Alissa Ackerman about her restorative justice work on the frontlines of Me Too, using proxy-like conversations. This is a Patreon exclusive premium episode we're releasing on the main feed. If you want to hear more conversations like this, consider joining our Patreon, starting at $5 a month.Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access...
2025-07-2930 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawZakiya Used to Be So FunThe case of the people person who fell out of love with people. From the episode:
Learn more about Zakiya Gibbons
Follow Zakiya on Instagram @zak_sauce
Learn more about Dr. William Chopik and his research
Follow Bill on Bluesky @Chops310 or X @Chops310
To hear Zakiya get more help on her conundrum and learn about the science of intuition, check out her Science of Happiness podcast episode coming this Thursday. On Science of Happiness, U.C. Berkeley psychologist Dr. Dacher Keltner invites a guest to try a research-backed pr...
2025-07-1540 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawHow to Break Out of 'Narrative Autopilot' [TEASER]Yowei doesn't have an internal narrator telling stories about her life - at least a voice she can hear in her head. She talks to psychology professor Jonathan Adler about what this means and what anyone can do to strengthen their self-narrator, if they wanted to. To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏From the episod...
2025-07-0812 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawAmanda and the Nonstop NarratorThe case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.From the episode:
Read Amanda Montell's books The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut
Listen to Amanda's podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult
Follow Amanda on Instagram @amanda_montell
Learn more about Jonathan Adler's work
Follow Jonathan on X @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedIn
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show...
2025-07-0156 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawDecoding the Feelings of People with Alzheimer's [TEASER]When someone with Alzheimer's gets upset about something that isn't actually happening, it can be easy to dismiss their feelings. But what if we approached those feelings not as problems to get rid of, but mysteries to solve? Psychologist Claudia Drossel unpacks the feelings of people with Alzheimer's and how to decode them to use as a guide to give better care.To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To ju...
2025-06-2412 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawBrian Can't Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-LawThe case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can’t help misremembering things, he can’t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. From the episode:
Listen to Brian Reed's podcast Question Everything
Follow Brian on Instagram @brihreed and X @BriHReed
Caregiving resources from Claudia Drossel
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium epis...
2025-06-1753 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawIs it time to break up the band?The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who’s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. From the episode:
Listen to The Superweaks and the single "Blindside" from their new record
The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case
Follow them on Instagram @thesuperweaks
Read Ryan Dusick's memoir Harder to Breathe: A Memo...
2025-06-0355 min
The Superweaks Superweekly SupercastGold Star with Yowei ShawWe have a real podcaster in the studio! That’s right, its Proxy’s own Yowei Shaw. This week on the pod we talk autotuning crying for the Gold Star music video, the joys of therapy, Yowei’s podcast hero’s journey from Studio 360 to Invisibilia, tango dancing parents, banter as currency, a surprise guest, and Yowei makes us a very interesting pitch!If you have a unique conundrum be sure to reach out to Proxy at proxythepod@gmail.com!Hosts: Chris Baglivo, Evan Bernard, Mikey TashjianEditing...
2025-05-291h 25
Proxy with Yowei ShawAparna and the Self-Loathing IntrovertFor a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.From the episode:
Read Aparna's book Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome
Learn more about Aparna
Follow her on Instagram @aparnapkin
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the s...
2025-05-2043 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawMic Chooses the Wrong LifeThe case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. From the episode:
Follow Mic Nguyen on Instagram @nicepantsbro and subscribe to his podcast Asian Not Asian
Read Amy Summerville's paper, one of the most cited articles on regret
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a mont...
2025-05-0648 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawBisexual Wife GuyThe case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship. From the episode:
Listen to Hanna’s podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod!
Follow her on X @hannarosin and Instagram @hannarosin
Our Path, a listener-recommended support group for for straight partners of LGBTQ+ folks
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider...
2025-04-2253 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Utility of Self-Delusion (and Big Show Update)Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?From the episode:
Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain, by Shankar Vedantam
Radiotopia from PRX
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the...
2025-03-1917 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawAlternate Realities (from NPR's Embedded)Conspiracy theories have been gaining traction all the way to the highest seats of power. So, are there emotional dynamics at play that we could understand to be able to do something about it? Last year, Zach Mack’s dad sent him a strange email, asking to bet $10,000 to settle once and for all who was correct and who was the brainwashed one. From NPR’s Embedded podcast, this is episode 2 of the Alternate Realities series: Down the Rabbit Hole. From the episode:
Listen to the rest of the Alternate Realities...
2025-03-0635 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawPresenting: "Stings for Our Enemies. Honey for Our Friends." (from Our Ancestors Were Messy)For as long as she can remember, Nichole Hill has had a complicated relationship with Black history. Then in 2020, she stumbled on a digital archive of pre Civil Rights era Black newspapers and got obsessed with the scandalous stories she found. Our Ancestors Were Messy is her new podcast that explores Black history through the lens of gossip and drama. In this episode, Nichole tells the story of a Victorian era love triangle that rocked the elites of DC. From the episode:
Listen to Our Ancestors Were Messy
Support the show by becoming a mem...
2025-02-261h 07
Proxy with Yowei ShawPresenting: I felt too seen. Um, dragged. (from Basket Case), Plus an UpdateBasket Case is a new show about mental health. In this episode, host Nicole Kelly (NK) takes on perfectionism, an issue that Yowei has personally struggled with. Plus, some breaking news about Proxy. From the episode:
Basket Case is a show from Molten Heart and iHeart Podcasts, created and executive produced by Jasmine (JT) Green, and hosted by Nicole Kelly (NK)
Listen to Basket Case podcast
Learn more about NK
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going...
2025-02-0639 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawPresenting: An Evil Man (from Little Devils), Plus a Year-End RecapWhen Yowei heard about the new podcast Little Devils, she was like: finally, someone being honest about a thing we all do. On Little Devils, Jasmin Bauomy interrogates the snap judgments she makes of other people, to find the story behind that annoying thing they do. In this episode, we share a story from Little Devils and we toast 2024 with a year-end recap. From the episode:
Listen to Little Devils
Support the show
Follow @littledevilsshow and @jasminbauomy on Instagram and BlueSky
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely on lis...
2024-12-3045 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Group That Gets ItThe story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google - and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did? From the episode:
Listen to Jason Yu's podcast Fidget
Follow Fidget on Instagram @fidgetpodcast
The TLC Foundation, an organization for body-focused repetitive behaviors
Jason's book recs for learning how to build community: The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up
...
2024-12-0352 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawIs there anything we can actually do about polarization?Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it. From the episode:
Jay Van Bavel's book The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony
The paper on political sectarianism Jay co-wrote
Find out more about Jay Van Bavel and his work
Follow Jay on X and Instagram: @jayvanbavel
Proxy is...
2024-10-2941 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawSo many tears but what do they say?We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them. From the episode:
Heather Christle's The Crying Book
Heather's new book In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf
Follow Heather on X and Instagram@heatherchristle
The Thai Life Insurance commercial from our crying experiment
2024-09-2624 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawDid we make our goal???Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch...
2024-09-0508 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Mechanics and Magic of RitualThe final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations. In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom. From the episode:
Michael Norton's book The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harnessing the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions
Find out more about Michael and his work
Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoff
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going...
2024-08-2123 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawPsychodrama: The 2nd Oldest Psychotherapy You've Never Heard Of, But Have Definitely TriedPart 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the U.S. and then died. Dr. Scott Giacomucci breaks down the mechanics of proxy conversations and tries his psychodrama techniques on Yowei. From the episode:
Find out more about Dr. Scott Giacomucci and his work
The Phoenix Center for Experiential Trauma Therapy
Download Scott's textbook about psychodrama for free
Follow Scott on YouTube
Pro...
2024-08-1539 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawConnor Ratliff's Dead EyesPart 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work? How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it? In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy conversation expert Connor Ratliff. Over 20 years ago, Tom Hanks fired Connor from a small role in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers - apparently for having "dead eyes." But is that really what happened? Connor made a podcast to investigate, and had 30 episodes worth of proxy conversations before talking to Tom Hanks himself. From...
2024-08-0636 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Incredible Healing Powers of Vicarious Restorative JusticeYowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why? How? Part 1 of a 4-part quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Yowei learns about a proxy conversation happening in a completely different context: restorative justice with proxy survivors and offenders. From the episode:
Learn more about Dr. Alissa Ackerman and her work
Ampersands Restorative Justice
Alissa's book Healing from Sexual Violence: The Case for Vicarious Restorative Justice
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mo...
2024-07-241h 00
Proxy with Yowei ShawExploding the Myth of Meritocracy with Ofer Sharone [TEASER]An in-depth interview with UMass Amherst sociologist and professor Ofer Sharone about the stigma trap that laid off workers can fall into and how the myth of meritocracy impacts even people who don't think they believe in it.To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏 From the episode:
Learn more about Ofer Sharone and his work
O...
2024-06-0709 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Layoff Trilogy 3: HR by ProxyWith every layoff, there's the blackbox of what's really going on behind the scenes. Why did it go down the way it did? Was it really not about your performance, like they told you? How does the layoff list get made anyway? In our inaugural proxy conversation, we connect Miles and Elliot with a proxy HR professional to answer their layoff questions. From the episode:
Learn more about Catie Maillard and her work
Follow Catie on LinkedIn
Gold Star music video
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly o...
2024-05-2349 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Layoff Trilogy 2: Danger DayPlease note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. Elliot and Miles loved working at the same company, until the spectre of layoffs came to haunt them. From the episode:
Learn more about Ofer Sharone and his work
Ofer Sharone's book The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mo...
2024-05-2341 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Layoff Trilogy 1: Layoff GirlWhen Yowei Shaw got laid off from NPR, she didn't just feel bad. She was confused by how bad she felt and how long the bad lasted. So Yowei does what she usually does in a situation like this - she reported on her feelings. Then things go left. From the episode:
Learn more about Ofer Sharone and his work
Ofer Sharone's book The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show...
2024-05-2342 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawWelcome to ProxyIt’s the knot you can’t untangle - a problem so unique, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who’s been through the exact same thing? On Proxy, we find just the person you were looking for, the person who can help you get unstuck. It’s not therapy - it’s emotional investigative journalism™️. Yowei Shaw, former host of Invisibilia, at your service. New cases every other Tuesday. Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep...
2024-05-1501 min