Shows
Proxy with Yowei ShawCaitlin Lost Her VoiceThe case of Caitlin Myer, a writer who relied on her internal narrator... until one day it disappeared. From the episode: — Caitlin Myer — author of Wiving— support her on Patreon and learn more: www.caitlinmyer.com— Greta Morgan — author of The Lost Voice — sign up for her Patreon and newsletter: www.gretamorganmusic.comNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone
2026-04-211h 02
The DreamProxy Podcast Take Over!This week we are bringing you one of our favorite episode's from one of our favorite podcasts: "Proxy" - hosted by Yowei Shaw.-- Nicole is an organizer who's good at channeling her anger. The problem is she can't always downshift. From the episode: •Learn more about Deborah Gould, a Professor and Chair of Sociology at UC Santa Cruz•Read Debbie's book Moving Politics: Emotion and ACT UP's Fight Against AIDS•For liner notes and reading recs from Debbie and Nicole, sign up for our newsletter by becoming a free m...
2026-01-2956 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawNicole Can't Stop Being AggroNicole is an organizer who's good at channeling her anger. The problem is she can't always downshift. From the episode: — Deborah Gould — Professor and Chair of Sociology at UC Santa Cruz, and author of Moving Politics: Emotion and ACT UP's Fight Against AIDSNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — on missing a version of yourself you can’t quite get backFor episode lin...
2025-12-0253 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawBob and the Forgiveness SpellErin wants to forgive the person she's holding a grudge against, but doesn't know how. Is it possible to just disappear resentment?From the episode: — Find Robert Enright — find his forgiveness program and free resources at the International Forgiveness Institute: www.internationalforgiveness.com— Read his book Forgiveness Is A Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope New to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk To Her — when...
2025-11-0445 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawYaroslava Can't Go HomeYaroslava’s town in Ukraine was taken by Russians. She's now safe in the US. But how do you make a new life when you feel guilty about not being home?From the episode: — Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders— Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa— Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat: https://vimeo.com/1101397354?fl=pl&fe=sh— Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybe...
2025-10-2141 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawHow This Introvert Ally Gets Along with Introverts (Plus Campaign Update)How close are we to getting to 1000 paying Patreon members so we can cover the costs of making a year two?!Plus, a conversation with introvert ally (and extrovert) Jennifer Kahnweiler on the changes she's made to get along better with the introverts in her life. To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏
2025-10-1410 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe First Ever Extrovert-Introvert Cage MatchA historic step in extrovert-introvert relations i.e. a proxy bloodbath roundtable with 2 extroverts and 2 introverts airing our grievances about each other. From the episode: — Aparna Nancherla — wrote Unreliable Narrator and is on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com— Ryan Letts — runs Pando Integration Coaching— Jennifer Kahnweiler — hosts Introvert Ally and wrote The Genius of Opposites: www.jenniferkahnweiler.comNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — it's one of the clearest examples of what this show doesIf this episode hit something for...
2025-10-0744 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawAn Estrangement MysteryAt the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they’ve told their parents why they’re walking away, while parents say they don’t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?From the episode: — Becca Bland — follow her work with families and people surviving estrangement: www.beccabland.com— Joshua Coleman — read New Rules of Estrangement, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and learn more: www.drjoshuacoleman.com— Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporti...
2025-09-3041 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawJC's Kids Won't Talk To HerThe case of the mom who doesn’t understand, and the daughter who’s done explaining.From the episode: — Chess Dugas — makes The Scapegoat Club on YouTube and TikTok: @thesscapegoatclub— Joshua Coleman — wrote New Rules of Estrangement and publishes the newsletter Family Troubles: www.drjoshuacoleman.com— Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporting: www.kimnp.orgNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — it's one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or An Estrangement Mystery — wanting to und...
2025-09-231h 00
Proxy with Yowei ShawAlex and the Impossible AskAlex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show and loves doing it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates.From the episode: — Alex Goldman — host of the podcast Hyperfixed: www.hyperfixedpod.com— Haley Bash — founder of Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people fundraising for under-resource causes: www.donororganizerhub.org— The Accidental Fundraiser — Haley's step-by-step guide to raising money for your causeNew to Proxy?...
2025-09-0955 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawSandy and the SilenceEver since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.From the episode: — Sandy Ernest Allen — writes the newsletter What's Helping Today: www.sandyernestallen.com— "To Cis People Who Feel Despair" — Sandy's guide to supporting trans people— The post on Bluesky: @sandyernestallen— Support Sandy's writing: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallenNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest...
2025-08-2631 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawHow to Cope with NowAnya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. From the episode:— Anya Kamenetz — writer of the newsletter The Golden Hour— We Are the Great Turning — a podcast she produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Macy, about love, courage, and connec...
2025-08-1237 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawProxy Conversations with Sexual Offenders?A conversation with Dr. Alissa Ackerman about her restorative justice work on the frontlines of Me Too, using proxy-like conversations. This is a Patreon exclusive premium episode we're releasing on the main feed. If you want to hear more conversations like this, consider joining our Patreon, starting at $5 a month.Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access...
2025-07-2930 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawZakiya Used to Be So FunThe case of the people person who fell out of love with people. From the episode: — Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310New to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when you feel out of sync with the people around you
2025-07-1539 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawHow to Break Out of 'Narrative Autopilot' [TEASER]Yowei doesn't have an internal narrator telling stories about her life - at least a voice she can hear in her head. She talks to psychology professor Jonathan Adler about what this means and what anyone can do to strengthen their self-narrator, if they wanted to. To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏From the episod...
2025-07-0812 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawAmanda and the Nonstop NarratorThe case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.From the episode: — Amanda Montell — author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut, and host of the podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult — on Instagram @amanda_montell— Jonathan Adler — personality psychologist — more about his work: www.jonathan-adler.comX @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedInNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples...
2025-07-0154 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawDecoding the Feelings of People with Alzheimer's [TEASER]When someone with Alzheimer's gets upset about something that isn't actually happening, it can be easy to dismiss their feelings. But what if we approached those feelings not as problems to get rid of, but mysteries to solve? Psychologist Claudia Drossel unpacks the feelings of people with Alzheimer's and how to decode them to use as a guide to give better care.To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To ju...
2025-06-2412 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawBrian Can't Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-LawThe case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can’t help misremembering things, he can’t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. From the episode: — Brian Reed — host of the podcast Question Everything — on Instagram @brihreed, X @BriHReed— Claudia Drossel — psychology p rofessor at Eastern Michigan University — caregiving resources mentioned in this episodeNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk To H...
2025-06-1751 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawIs it time to break up the band?The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who’s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. From the episode: — The Superweaks — listen to their single "Blindside" and The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case — on Instagram @thesuperweaks— Ryan Dusick — author of Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon, Losing I...
2025-06-0355 min
The Superweaks Superweekly SupercastGold Star with Yowei ShawWe have a real podcaster in the studio! That’s right, its Proxy’s own Yowei Shaw. This week on the pod we talk autotuning crying for the Gold Star music video, the joys of therapy, Yowei’s podcast hero’s journey from Studio 360 to Invisibilia, tango dancing parents, banter as currency, a surprise guest, and Yowei makes us a very interesting pitch!If you have a unique conundrum be sure to reach out to Proxy at proxythepod@gmail.com!Hosts: Chris Baglivo, Evan Bernard, Mikey TashjianEditing...
2025-05-291h 25
Proxy with Yowei ShawAparna and the Self-Loathing IntrovertFor a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.From the episode: — Aparna Nancherla, author of Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome — on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com— Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan CainNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show do...
2025-05-2041 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawMic Chooses the Wrong LifeThe case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. From the episode: — Mic Nguyen — co-host of the podcast Asian Not Asian — on Instagram @nicepantsbro— Amy Summerville's paper — one of the most cited articles on regretNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — when you mis...
2025-05-0645 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawBisexual Wife GuyThe case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship.From the episode: Hanna Rosin, host of the podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod! — on X and Instagram: @hannarosinNew to Proxy?— Try Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone— Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts taking o...
2025-04-2251 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Utility of Self-Delusion (and Big Show Update)Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?From the episode: — Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain by Shankar Vedantam— Radiotopia from PRXNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show doesFor episode liner notes and more from the emotions beat, you can get our f...
2025-03-1917 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawAlternate Realities (from NPR's Embedded)Conspiracy theories have been gaining traction all the way to the highest seats of power. So, are there emotional dynamics at play that we could understand to be able to do something about it? Last year, Zach Mack’s dad sent him a strange email, asking to bet $10,000 to settle once and for all who was correct and who was the brainwashed one. From NPR’s Embedded podcast, this is episode 2 of the Alternate Realities series: Down the Rabbit Hole. From the episode:
Listen to the rest of the Alternate Realities...
2025-03-0635 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawPresenting: "Stings for Our Enemies. Honey for Our Friends." (from Our Ancestors Were Messy)For as long as she can remember, Nichole Hill has had a complicated relationship with Black history. Then in 2020, she stumbled on a digital archive of pre Civil Rights era Black newspapers and got obsessed with the scandalous stories she found. Our Ancestors Were Messy is her new podcast that explores Black history through the lens of gossip and drama. In this episode, Nichole tells the story of a Victorian era love triangle that rocked the elites of DC. From the episode:
Listen to Our Ancestors Were Messy
Support the show by becoming a mem...
2025-02-261h 07
Proxy with Yowei ShawPresenting: I felt too seen. Um, dragged. (from Basket Case), Plus an UpdateBasket Case is a new show about mental health. In this episode, host Nicole Kelly (NK) takes on perfectionism, an issue that Yowei has personally struggled with. Plus, some breaking news about Proxy. From the episode:
Basket Case is a show from Molten Heart and iHeart Podcasts, created and executive produced by Jasmine (JT) Green, and hosted by Nicole Kelly (NK)
Listen to Basket Case podcast
Learn more about NK
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going...
2025-02-0639 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawPresenting: An Evil Man (from Little Devils), Plus a Year-End RecapWhen Yowei heard about the new podcast Little Devils, she was like: finally, someone being honest about a thing we all do. On Little Devils, Jasmin Bauomy interrogates the snap judgments she makes of other people, to find the story behind that annoying thing they do. In this episode, we share a story from Little Devils and we toast 2024 with a year-end recap. From the episode:
Listen to Little Devils
Support the show
Follow @littledevilsshow and @jasminbauomy on Instagram and BlueSky
Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely on lis...
2024-12-3045 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Group That Gets ItThe story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google - and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did?From the episode: — Jason Yu — host of the podcast Fidget — on Instagram @fidgetpodcast— The TLC Foundation — a resource for body-focused repetitive behaviors— Jason's book recommendations on. building community — The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up
2024-12-0352 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawIs there anything we can actually do about polarization?Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it. From the episode: — Jay Van Bavel — author of The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony — more about his work: www.jayvanbavel.com—The paper on political sectarianism—X and Instagram: @jayvanbavelNew to Proxy?...
2024-10-2941 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawSo many tears but what do they say?We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them. From the episode:— Heather Christle — author of The Crying Book and In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf — @heatherchristle on X and Instagram— The Thai Life Insurance commercial from our crying exper...
2024-09-2624 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawDid we make our goal???Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. New to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show doesFor episode liner notes and more from the emotions beat, you can get our free newsletter on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ProxyPodcastProxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners — if you want to help keep it going, you can jo...
2024-09-0508 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Mechanics and Magic of RitualThe final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations. In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom. From the episode:— Michael Norton — author of The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harnessing the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions— more about his work:www.michaelnorton.com— Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoffNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show doe...
2024-08-2123 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawPsychodrama: The 2nd Oldest Psychotherapy You've Never Heard Of, But Have Definitely TriedPart 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the U.S. and then died. Dr. Scott Giacomucci breaks down the mechanics of proxy conversations and tries his psychodrama techniques on Yowei. From the episode: — Scott Giacomucci — psychodrama therapist and author — more about his work: www.phoenixtraumacenter.com— Scott's textbook about psychodrama available for free— On Youtube @PhoenixTraumaCenterNew to Prox...
2024-08-1539 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawConnor Ratliff's Dead EyesPart 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work? How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it? In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy conversation expert Connor Ratliff. Over 20 years ago, Tom Hanks fired Connor from a small role in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers - apparently for having "dead eyes." But is that really what happened? Connor made a podcast to investigate, and had 30 episodes worth of proxy conversations before talking to Tom Hanks himself. From...
2024-08-0636 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawSurvivor, Meet Proxy OffenderYowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why? How? Part 1 of a 4-part quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Yowei learns about a proxy conversation happening in a completely different context: restorative justice with proxy survivors and offenders. From the episode— Alissa Ackerman — criminologist and author of Healing from Sexual Violence: The Case for Vicarious Restorative Justice — more about her work: www.alissaackerman.com— Ampersands Restorative Justice: www.ampersandsrj.orgNew t...
2024-07-241h 00
Proxy with Yowei ShawExploding the Myth of Meritocracy with Ofer Sharone [TEASER]An in-depth interview with UMass Amherst sociologist and professor Ofer Sharone about the stigma trap that laid off workers can fall into and how the myth of meritocracy impacts even people who don't think they believe in it.To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free 🍏 From the episode:
Learn more about Ofer Sharone and his work
O...
2024-06-0709 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Layoff Trilogy 3: HR by ProxyWith every layoff, there's the blackbox of what's really going on behind the scenes. Why did it go down the way it did? Was it really not about your performance, like they told you? How does the layoff list get made anyway? In our inaugural proxy conversation, we connect Miles and Elliot with a proxy HR professional to answer their layoff questions. From the episode:— Catie Maillard — on LinkedIn — more about her work: www.somehowimanagehr.com— Yowei's unhinged Gold Star music videoNew to Proxy?— Try B...
2024-05-2346 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Layoff Trilogy 2: Danger DayPlease note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. Elliot and Miles loved working at the same company, until the spectre of layoffs came to haunt them.From the episode:— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term UnemployedNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Gu...
2024-05-2341 min
Proxy with Yowei ShawThe Layoff Trilogy 1: Layoff GirlWhen Yowei got laid off from NPR, she didn't just feel bad. She was confused by how bad she felt and how long the bad lasted. So Yowei does what she usually does in a situation like this - she reported on her feelings. Then things go left. From the episode:— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term UnemployedNew to Proxy?— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does— Or Mi...
2024-05-2341 min