Shows
Relational Lives PodcastFinding Your Way Through GriefIn this episode of Relational Lives, hosts Ali and Ros explore the tender and universal experience of grief, the pain that accompanies the loss of those we love, whether human or animal. Together, they unpack the many faces of grief, from its emotional and physical expressions to the cultural stories that shape how we mourn. The conversation reminds us that grief is not a sign of weakness but a reflection of love, its depth often mirroring the strength of our bonds.
As the dialogue unfolds, Ali and Ros offer thoughtful perspectives on navigating grief with compassion and a...
2026-01-2935 minRelational Lives PodcastOwn Your Sh*t: Mastering Accountability in RelationshipsIn this episode, Ali and Ros explore what it really means to take accountability in relationships — or, as they put it, to “own your own shit.” They unpack how recognizing the impact of our actions and reactions can transform the way we connect with others, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or at work. Using everyday examples — including the classic disagreement over how to load the dishwasher — the hosts reveal how small moments often reflect deeper patterns in communication and understanding.
Ali and Ros also dive into the discomfort that comes with facing our own shortcomings and the defence me...
2026-01-2230 minRelational Lives PodcastStuck in the Sexual Standoff: Couples’ Negative Intimacy CycleIn this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the connections between the sexual cycle and the relational cycle, offering insights into how emotional and physical intimacy mirror one another. They explore the distinction between responsive and spontaneous desire, how attachment patterns influence sexual connection, and why communication is at the heart of a satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion also touches on cultural expectations around sex, the challenges of mismatched desire, and how understanding each partner’s experience can help couples build renewed closeness and vitality in their relationship.
📍 Resources mentioned:
Relational Lives previous episode on Negative relat...
2026-01-1531 minRelational Lives PodcastSharing the Load: rethinking responsibility dynamics in your relationshipIn this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the mental load in relationships – the invisible emotional labour of planning, organizing, and remembering that often falls on one partner. They explore how this uneven cognitive and emotional load creates resentment, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy, while the other partner may feel criticised, confused, or like they can never get it right.
Ali and Ros look at how relationship dynamics, communication styles, gender roles, and family and cultural backgrounds shape who carries the mental load at home. They invite listeners to recognise common patterns in couples – the over-functioning partner who “keeps...
2026-01-0836 minRelational Lives PodcastThe Real Talk Episode: Reflecting and RepairingJoin Ali and Ros for a raw, heartfelt, and unscripted conversation as they look back on eight months and over 30 episodes of Relational Lives. In this special episode, the hosts pull back the curtain on their journey — from the shock of going viral on Shut Up & Talking (160,000+ views!) to building a podcast from scratch, all while navigating friendship, vulnerability, and the realities of being two women in their 50s in the digital world.
They reflect on standout guests (like Caz’s powerful journey to embracing single life), explore how recording together has triggered old patterns, and share the m...
2025-11-1346 minRelational Lives PodcastRelational Lives: The Heartfelt Story Behind Red JanuaryFor a decade, RED (Rise Every Day) January has inspired thousands to move more, feel better, and support one another through the darkest month of the year. Now, it’s taking a bold new step forward — and it starts with you.
Join the nationwide warm-up to RED January 2026 at redjanuary.com.
Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for an inspiring conversation with Hannah Beecham, founder of Red January, as she shares the deeply personal story behind this life-changing initiative. Born from her own family’s battle with depression — watching her mum struggle through the winter...
2025-11-0646 minRelational Lives PodcastLiving Fully, Loving Deeply: Julie Russell on Fraser’s LifeJoin hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for a deeply moving conversation with Julie Russell, who shares the tender and inspiring story of her son Fraser, born with a rare life-limiting genetic condition. From the shock of his diagnosis hours after birth to the profound care provided by their local children’s hospice, Julie reflects on the joy, love, and support that defined Fraser’s two short years.
With music therapy at the heart of their journey, she highlights how it brought connection, comfort, and celebration of life, even in the face of loss. Now, Julie and hospice music thera...
2025-10-3049 minRelational Lives PodcastHow to Heal from Trauma with Philippa SmethurstJoin hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives as we sit down with Philippa Smethurst, author of 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma, to explore the complex world of trauma and recovery. Inspired by the varied responses to the pandemic, Philippa shares her insights on trauma responses beyond fight or flight, using powerful metaphors like the trauma thermometer and jam jars to explain how overwhelming experiences can shake us up like a Coke bottle. From the isolating nature of trauma to the hope of post-traumatic growth, she offers practical strategies—like breathing exercises and self-compassion—to help release the “fizz” of traum...
2025-10-2352 minRelational Lives PodcastRose’s Autism Journey: Coming to terms with neurodiversityJoin hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for a heartfelt follow-on from our autism episode, as we welcome Rose, who shares her inspiring journey of being diagnosed with autism at 15.
From early signs like shying away from eye contact as a baby to navigating meltdowns and masking in secondary school, Rose opens up about the challenges of sensory sensitivities, emotional overwhelm, and finding her place in a neurotypical world. She reflects on the transformative impact of homeschooling, counselling, and embracing her passion for working with children in a nursery. Rose encourages self-compassion and openness, offering hope t...
2025-10-1648 minRelational Lives PodcastAutism Uncovered: Dr Graham Campbell on Traits, Myths & The SpectrumJoin us on Relational Lives as we welcome back Dr. Graham Campbell from Flint Healthcare in Sussex to dive into the world of autism in adults.
Dr. Graham unpacks what autism spectrum disorder is, debunking myths about its presentation and exploring its core traits, from social communication challenges to sensory processing differences. He discusses why autism is often missed in women due to masking, the complexities of diagnosis, and the mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, that can accompany undiagnosed autism.
With warmth and expertise, Dr. Graham shares practical advice for those wondering if th...
2025-10-0941 minRelational Lives PodcastFinding Belonging After Abandonment - With Jason 'Wip' RobertsJoin us on Relational Lives as we sit down with Jason ‘Wip’ Roberts, who shares his heartfelt story of navigating childhood abandonment and finding belonging. From his biological mother leaving at age four to the shock of his stepmother’s departure in his 20s, Jason opens up about the persistent void that shaped his life. He reflects on how the 90s rave scene provided a sense of community, how his travels embraced the familiar feeling of being “lost,” and how meeting his wife, Katie, became his anchor at 30. With humour, wisdom, and a touch of silliness—including a song from his fam...
2025-10-0243 minRelational Lives PodcastWill Adolphy: From Manosphere to MentorJoin us on Relational Lives as we sit down with Will Adolphy, a psychotherapist, educator, and speaker who specialises in men’s mental health and masculinity.
Will shares his powerful story of navigating panic attacks, depression, and the pull of online masculinity influencers during his early 20s. From finding validation in rigid ideologies to discovering healing through therapy, community, and self-reflection, he opens up about the challenges of emotional isolation and the “man box” that shapes how men experience the world.
This conversation is raw, honest, and full of insights—covering vulnerability, the impact of online cul...
2025-09-2559 minRelational Lives PodcastHappily Single: Cas on Freedom, Healing & Living Life Her WayShownotes:
Episode: Happily Single: Cas on Freedom, Healing & Living Life Her Way
Cas joins us on Relational Lives to share her inspiring and often funny story of choosing to live happily single. From navigating breast cancer and surgical menopause to finding freedom, independence, and joy, she reflects on relationships, compromise, and why being alone doesn’t mean being lonely.
This conversation is full of laughter, honesty, and wisdom - touching on family, friendship, child-free living, adventure, and the importance of creating a life that feels true to you. Whether you’re single, coupled, or s...
2025-09-1857 minRelational Lives PodcastFrom Trauma to Triumph | Jamie Rudd on Inspiration and HealingShownotes:
Episode: From Trauma to Triumph | Jamie Rudd on Inspiration and Healing
In this powerful episode of Relational Lives, Jamie Rudd shares his journey of surviving a near-fatal car accident, the trauma and recovery that followed, and how he transformed his experience into SoulKind - a storytelling and community project inspiring hope through adversity.
This is a moving conversation about resilience, optimism, vulnerability, and the healing power of stories.
In this episode:
00:00 - Welcome & Introduction to Jamie Rudd
01:10 - The 2018 Car Accident
05:40 - Acts of Kindness: The “Su...
2025-09-1149 minRelational Lives PodcastWe’re Taking a Short Break | End of Series 1 and What’s NextWe’re wrapping up Series 1 of Relational Lives and taking a short two-week break. Thank you for joining us on this journey so far - it’s been amazing! 🎉
Series 2 will be even more exciting, with more guests and real-life stories to inspire and encourage you. If you’d like to share your story, get in touch at relationallives@gmail.com
Stay subscribed, and we’ll be back very soon on 11th September.
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: htt...
2025-08-3004 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 23: OCD: What It Really Is And How Therapy Can HelpIn this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros take an honest, practical look at Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). They unpack what OCD really is and explore how intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and emotional distress interact. Ali explains different subtypes of OCD, how therapy can help, and offers hope to anyone struggling. Whether you’ve lived with OCD for years or are just beginning to question your thoughts and behaviours, this episode is packed with understanding, reassurance, and practical steps forward.
Please note that this episode covers harder aspects of OCD including paedophilia OCD and harm OCD
2025-08-2152 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 22: Toxic Relationships - How to Spot the Signs and Protect YourselfIn this episode of Relational Lives, we take a deep dive into the reality of toxic relationships - how they differ from unhealthy ones, the warning signs to look out for, and why even strong, self-aware people can find themselves trapped in them. We explore behaviours like gaslighting, love bombing, manipulation, coercive control, and isolation, as well as the underlying psychological dynamics that keep people hooked.
Whether it’s with a partner, friend, family member, or even in the workplace, understanding toxic dynamics is the first step toward reclaiming your power. If you or someone you know is...
2025-08-1437 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 21: Conflict Styles: How You Fight & Why It MattersIn this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore the three most common conflict styles that show up in relationships: blame-blame, attack-withdraw, and withdraw-withdraw. With warmth, insight, and lived experience, they help listeners identify their own patterns, understand the emotional drivers underneath, and reflect on how these cycles affect connection. Whether you argue loudly or shut down silently, this episode will help you make sense of what's really happening between you and your partner.
Shownotes:
Episode: Conflict Styles: How You Fight & Why It Matters
In this episode:
00:00 – Intro: Why conflict st...
2025-08-0737 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 20: Break the Cycle: The Relationship Trap We Wish We'd Known SoonerIn this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros dive into the concept of negative cycles in relationships - the invisible patterns we fall into when things go wrong with our partners. Whether you’re a “pursuer,” “withdrawer,” or locked in blame–blame dynamics, this episode breaks down what’s really going on beneath the surface. Using relatable examples (including that infamous dishwasher debate!), they explain how these emotional loops are driven by vulnerability, attachment, and unspoken needs. With practical metaphors like the “infinity loop” and the “main floor vs. basement,” Ali and Ros offer insights that can transform how you relate and rep...
2025-07-3138 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 19: Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship?In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore a vital question: "Am I in an unhealthy relationship?" Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even a business partnership, this conversation helps you identify the subtle yet damaging signs of unhealthy dynamics. From emotional disconnection and conflict avoidance to people-pleasing and shutdown behaviours, Ali and Ros unpack what these patterns mean and how to begin addressing them.
Drawing from emotionally focused therapy, this episode offers practical examples and three takeaway tips to help you reflect on your relationships and take meaningful steps toward repair. If you’ve...
2025-07-2433 minRelational Lives PodcastEp 18: Dear Therapists: Boundaries, Beliefs & Family Struggles | Listener DilemmasIn the second Dear Therapists episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros respond to two powerful listener letters, offering comfort, validation, and gentle reflections for those navigating emotionally complex relationships.
Letter 1:
This dilemma from a listener explores the painful question of whether it's okay to end a friendship over racist and anti-immigrant comments.
Letter 2:
This letter shares the emotional weight of living in a home overshadowed by trauma, silence, and a father’s unpredictable anger.
If you've ever struggled with loyalty versus boundaries, or found yourself stuck in a difficult home en...
2025-07-1726 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 17: Redefining Strength: A Man's Story of VulnerabilityIn this episode of Relational Lives, we sit down with former paramedic, Dave Zaple, to hear his honest and moving story of mental ill health, recovery and finding purpose. From witnessing daily trauma in the emergency services to confronting the stigma around men’s mental health, Dave opens up about his breakdown, therapy, identity loss, and eventual healing through connection, creativity, and community. This episode is an unmissable listen for anyone interested in male vulnerability or finding purpose after crisis.
Whether you’re struggling yourself, or supporting someone who is, Dave’s story shows there is life - and...
2025-07-1044 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 16: Understanding and Managing Health AnxietyIn this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros delve into the complex experience of health anxiety - what it is, how it develops, and what practical steps can be taken to manage it. Ali shares insights from cognitive behavioural therapy, discussing effective tools such as identifying safety behaviours, understanding personal values, and building tolerance for uncertainty. Whether you’re seeking support for yourself or trying to understand a loved one, this episode offers hope, clarity, and actionable advice.
Shownotes:
Episode: Understanding and Managing Health Anxiety
In this episode:
00:00 – Intro and what...
2025-07-0342 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 15: What is a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style?In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore the complexities of the fearful avoidant attachment style and how it affects our relationships, communication, and self-perception. If you've ever felt stuck in a push-pull dynamic, terrified of being hurt but also craving intimacy, this episode will help you make sense of what's going on.
We break down what causes this attachment style, what it looks like in practice, and how people can begin to heal. Whether you relate personally or are trying to understand a partner, parent, or friend with this pattern, this conversation is packed...
2025-06-2634 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 14: Dear Therapists: Heartbreak and Closure | Listener DilemmasWelcome to a very special episode of Relational Lives - our first Dear Therapist edition. In this episode, Ali and Ros respond to two deeply personal letters from listeners grappling with loss, betrayal, and the search for closure.
Letter 1: Jo
Jo opens up about losing their first love after being groomed into an abusive relationship. Now, blocked and isolated, Jo is looking for ways to process the guilt and trauma.
Letter 2: Owen
After nine years, Owen’s girlfriend ends the relationship unexpectedly on Valentine’s Day - just before moving in together. Owen seek...
2025-06-1831 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 13: What is an Anxious Attachment Style?In this episode we dive into the anxious attachment style, exploring its origins, how it manifests in adult relationships, and practical ways to navigate it. We discuss the impact of inconsistent caregiving in childhood, the physical and emotional sensations of anxious attachment, and common behaviors like excessive messaging or seeking reassurance. With relatable examples, we highlight the difference between blaming and expressing needs effectively. The episode wraps up with three actionable takeaway tips to help you reflect on your attachment patterns, recognise triggers, and practice self-soothing or open communication in relationships. Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship...
2025-06-1234 minRelational Lives PodcastEP12: Pride month special: A trans woman's perspectiveIn this heartfelt Pride Month episode of Relational Lives, we’re joined by Robyn, a trans woman, to share her journey of self-discovery and joy. We explore Robyn’s story—from realising her gender incongruence at age 11 to finding her community on the UK south coast. We discuss the shame of societal expectations, the impact of a recent UK Supreme Court ruling on trans rights, and the euphoria of living authentically. Robyn shares advice for those questioning their identity, emphasising the power of finding your “pack” and embracing joy. Tune in to celebrate trans joy this Pride Month!
Show...
2025-06-0537 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 11: Understanding ADHD in 2025: With Dr. Graham CampbellIn this episode of Relational Lives, we dive into understanding ADHD in 2025 with psychiatrist Dr. Graham Campbell from Flint Healthcare. We explore what ADHD is, its different presentations in males and females, and its effects on self-esteem, relationships, and rejection sensitivity. Dr. Campbell shares insights on the diagnostic process, the role of medication, and what’s happening in the brain with his air traffic control metaphor. We also discuss NHS waiting list challenges, the impact of social media on awareness, and steps for seeking a diagnosis. Plus, enjoy our new quickfire segment and key insights to better understand ADHD!
...
2025-05-2956 minRelational Lives PodcastEP 10: What is an Avoidant Attachment Style?In this episode, we explore the avoidant attachment style—its origins, signs, and ways to manage its effects on relationships. We discuss how it often develops from unmet emotional needs in childhood, leading to a protective “unplugging” from emotions. We highlight behaviours like emotional distancing, people-pleasing, and ghosting, alongside strengths such as excelling in practical crises and careers. We also address challenges in romantic relationships, like discomfort with intense emotions, and offer empathy for why this style exists as a survival mechanism. Tune in for our three takeaway tips to help you reflect, understand yourself better, and foster deeper connec...
2025-05-2234 minRelational Lives PodcastEP9: How to Stop WorryingIn this episode, we explore worry—what it is, why some people are more prone to it, and practical ways to stop it. We define worry as future-focused “what if” thinking, a key part of anxiety, and discuss its origins, from learned behaviours in families to past experiences like humiliation or health concerns. We break down the pros and cons of worrying, its impact on your body and mind, and why it can feel so exhausting. Through a roleplay, we show three ways to respond to the “worry gremlin”—engaging, ignoring, and acknowledging without feeding it. Plus, we share three takeaw...
2025-05-1528 minRelational Lives PodcastEP8: Understanding Gen Z: A Cross-Generational ChatIn this episode, we welcome our first guest, Fin, to share a Gen Z perspective on life, social media, and generational differences. We dive into what Gen Z wants other generations to understand—from the surprising normalisation of cocaine use to their reflective and community-focused nature. Fin highlights the dual role of social media, offering connection (like queer communities) but also challenges (like far-right pipelines and echo chambers). We also explore the impact of Covid, climate change, and societal pressures on Gen Z’s views of work, relationships, and the future, alongside their openness to diversity and desire for work...
2025-05-0843 minRelational Lives PodcastEP7: Overcoming Negative Body ImageIn this episode, we explore body image—how we perceive our bodies and the path to improving our relationship with them. We dive into how early messages from family, media (from 80s diet culture to today’s social media filters), and comparisons shape our self-view, often fueling self-criticism and scrutiny. Through personal stories—like childhood labels and the impact of filtered selfies—we highlight the societal and internal pressures that maintain a negative body image. We also share practical steps to break the cycle, from noticing self-criticism to embracing gratitude and self-compassion, especially as our bodies change with age. Plus, we...
2025-05-0130 minRelational Lives PodcastEP6: Healthy Relationships: Building a Strong ConnectionIn this episode, we unpack what makes a relationship healthy—whether you’re dating, partnered, or reflecting on your connections. We introduce the ARE framework (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged) to show how safety and security create a strong foundation, even when life gets busy or conflicts arise (like dishwasher disagreements!). Through personal stories—like feeling disconnected or finding comfort in a partner’s support at social events—we explore the role of communication, mutual respect, and emotional safety. We also discuss how secure relationships foster independence and teamwork, even for those with insecure attachment tendencies. Plus, we share three practical takeaway t...
2025-04-2429 minRelational Lives PodcastEP5: Overthinking: Taming the Mind’s ChatterIn this episode, we explore overthinking, why our minds get caught in endless loops of worry, rumination, and planning, and how it leaves us knackered. We celebrate the brilliance of our thinking brain (it’s behind art, technology, and innovation!) but also dive into its downsides, like activating our threat system and pulling us out of the present. We discuss how smart technology (like Fitbits and sleep-tracking rings) can fuel overthinking, the unique challenges for neurodiverse minds (like ADHD), and how to reconnect with your body to calm the chatter. Plus, we share three practical takeaway tips to help yo...
2025-04-1731 minRelational Lives PodcastEP4: How to Get Over a Breakup: Healing the HeartacheIn this episode, we dive into the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup—why it feels so painful, how your attachment style shapes your experience, and how to heal. We share personal stories, from the devastation of a first love at 19 to the anxious-avoidant cycles of past relationships, showing how breakups can shake us at any age. We explore the science behind the pain (it lights up your brain like physical pain!), the impact of ghosting and orbiting, and what research says about healing—like the role of self-esteem and support. Plus, we offer three practical takeaway tips to help you...
2025-04-1027 minRelational Lives PodcastEP3: Attachment Styles Explained: Which Attachment Style Are You?Welcome to our latest episode, where we unpack attachment styles and how they influence your relationships. We’re diving into the science of connection, sharing relatable stories, and offering actionable steps to help you navigate your own patterns with more awareness and compassion.
In This Episode:
What Are Attachment Styles? We explain how early experiences with caregivers shape your ability to connect.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you...
2025-04-0327 minRelational Lives PodcastEP2: How to Stop Being so Self-criticalWelcome to our latest episode, where we tackle the tricky habit of self-criticism! We’re unpacking why we beat ourselves up, how that inner critic takes over, and what we can do to bring in more kindness. With personal insights and actionable steps, this episode is all about making peace with yourself, one compassionate moment at a time.
In This Episode:
What’s Behind Self-Criticism? We look at why we’re so hard on ourselves and how the inner critic becomes a loud character in our heads.
The Inner Critic’s Role: Discover how this v...
2025-03-2721 minRelational Lives PodcastEP1: Understanding Anxiety: Unpacking the Brain’s Alarm System
In this episode, we dive deep into the world of anxiety—what it is, why it happens, and how our brains can sometimes trick us into a cycle of worry. Join us as we explore the evolutionary roots of anxiety, the fight-or-flight response, and how modern overthinking turns our natural alarm system into a source of stress. We’ll share personal stories, and offer three practical takeaway tips to help you understand and manage your anxiety. Whether you’re dealing with social anxiety, performance fears, or just everyday worries, this episode is your first step toward making sense of it all. T...
2025-03-2019 minRelational Lives PodcastRelational Lives Trailer: Your Free Mental Health Podcast with Ali & RosWelcome to Relational Lives!
Join psychotherapists Ali and Ros as we kick off our new podcast, bringing you free, accessible insights into mental health, relationships, and how our minds and bodies work.
After years of dreaming about this (since 2018!), we’re finally here and we’re so excited to share this journey with you. In this trailer, we introduce ourselves, our mission, and why we’re stepping out of our comfort zone to create something for you.
As therapists, we know private therapy isn’t cheap, so we’re offering bite-sized help and education...
2025-03-1903 min