Shows
Sburban SprawlEpisode 37 Act 4 Chapter 4: Send HelpOh god, the chums are cursed. This podcast is cursed. Here's a new episode while we still try to shamble out of bed. Who here likes vampires?
Intro and Outro Music:
Black by Toby "Radiation" Fox and Eddie Morton https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/black-3
2021-09-1342 minSburban SprawlEpisode 36 Act 4 Chapter 3: We're Back! A Podcaster's StoryHuzzah! The chums make their actual for real triumphant return to the Homestuck hole with chapter 3. Was it worth the wait? Did absence make the plot go yonder? Something something wine metaphor Cask of Amontillado? After catching up on the story they catch up on some old old drama at this point and discuss the petit-Rowlingification of Hussie.
Hey Watch This:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsM9bQvpt_c
Intro and Outro Music:
Black by Toby "Radiation" Fox and Eddie Morton https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/black-3
2021-08-2353 minSburban SprawlEpisode 35 Act 4 Chapter 2: Hi We Recorded This A Month AgoHey folks. I'm dropping the chum patter bullshit this time to say heyyyyyyy we're back! And what's the best way to celebrate a grand return than by releasing an out of date episode we recorded before our month-long hiatus in which we talk about books that aren't Homestuck for three-quarters of it. Enjoy! Don't ask me why I didn't release this sooner I had it fully edited ages ago I just have my own reasons. Stay tuned, the real grand return is coming next week where we'll have the same old shit and even more month-old news for your...2021-08-101h 08Sburban SprawlEpisode 34 Act 4 Chapter 1: The Land of Clouds and MeadowsWell, we're back. Not the podcast, we never left, but the chums are back to the real meat and more meat of Homestuck proper with Act 4. Will their time with the intermission leave them feeling any more charitable towards the proper comic? Probably not considering at some point they start looking at a porn game on steam for some reason. At the same time: John explores the concept of tubes, Dave pesters the audience, and Jade actually has some initiative.
Additional Listening:
Doctor by George Buzinkai, Clark "Plazmataz" Powell, and Michael Vallejo https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track...2021-06-2142 minSburban SprawlEpisode 33 Intermission Chapter 6: Choose StinkThe podcast with the world's most inconsistent episode length strikes again as the chums ring out the end of the only part of Homestuck they've liked so far. Then they decide to unwind with some more personality quiz fun before giving their (for now) final word on this recent clown business. Finally: Clubs is dead, Diamonds is dead, everybody's dead stop asking us about it.
Intro and Outro Music:
Hearts Flush by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/hearts-flush-2
2021-06-141h 03Sburban SprawlEpisode 32 Intermission Chapter 5: Honk If You Love GendersOh boy it's real mad hours once again at the Sburban Sprawl virtual household! And we're not even out of the intermission yet! The chums briefly mention a chapter in which not a lot happens as the intermission winds down toward some kind of conclusion, then get really deep in the mud discussing Hussie's recent coming out as Clowngender. Then they get into a long, philosophical discussion about gender and sexual identity because, well, if you get three queer people in a room they're inevitable going to have a long, philosophical discussion about gender and sexual identity. Also: Spades...2021-06-0255 minSburban SprawlEpisode 31 Intermission Chapter 4: You Got SawbuckYou're really dumb. Like, REALLY dumb. You can barely get up in the morning without putting your pants on upside down and falling out the window. Forest animals flee at your approach. Everybody shows open derision and disgust whenever you're around and you're probably also a huge pervert. Take another quiz? Also: Spades fucks around with time travel, Spades fucks around with time travel, and Spades fucks around with time travel.
Bonus Fun:
The Felt personality quiz: https://uquiz.com/quiz/aUJc6o/which-felt-member-are-you
Additional Listening:
Three in the Morning by...2021-05-1749 minSburban SprawlEpisode 30 Intermission Chapter 3: Spades "Steppenwolf" SlickThis week the chums let the good times roll with the best chapter yet! Incredibly they just keep getting better! Try not to think about how short this intermission is. Also: Spades is ice cold, Clubs is a funny little guy, and Hearts is REALLY tired of it.
Intro and Outro Music:
Hearts Flush by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/hearts-flush-2
2021-05-1053 minSburban SprawlEpisode 29 Intermission Chapter 2: Hands Off The PizzleThis week the chums continue to get their clocks lovingly cleaned by an intermission they continue to like! Kiiiiinda! For the most part! The stumbles are starting to add up, and only time will tell if they can sour the group's fun times. What WAS up with bill penis canes, anyway? Incidentally: Diamonds gets his Jojo finisher, Clubs gets his hands on the pizzle, and Hearts is just kinda tired of it.
Intro and Outro Music:
Hearts Flush by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/hearts-flush-2
2021-03-2933 minSburban SprawlEpisode 28 Intermission Chapter 1: Spades UniverseNyeeeh, see? Dese chums are finding demselves in a little pickle. Da felt has knocked over da Midnight Crew's favorite den a inequity and da chums are caught in da middle! Does dis little intermission hold up to da hype, or will Hussie sleep with da dirt? In da ground? Cause he's dead.
Intro and Outro Music:
Hearts Flush by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/hearts-flush-2
2021-03-221h 03Sburban SprawlEpisode 27 Act 3 Chapter 11: The Hot Dog of KnowledgeThat's another chapter in the bag! The chums celebrate yet another small victory over the hulking behemoth by actually talking about things they like for once. Things they like including more wiki idiocy. You'll like it too!. Plus: John puts a bad joke to rest, Rose breaks into her mom's wine cabinet, Dave gets murdered.
Additional Listening:
Sburban Jungle by Michael Guy Bowman https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/sburban-jungle-3
Intro and Outro Music:
Carefree Victory by Mark Hadley, Andrew Huo and Toby Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/tr...2021-03-1550 minSburban SprawlEpisode 26 Act 3 Chapter 10: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, I'm Trying To Delete HomestuckWhoops! The chums done goofed again! We went and accidentally read a chapter with no content again! Sorry about that! Hopefully we can make up for it by also reading a really sub-par apology(?) explanation(?) from Hussie himself about the Homestuck 2 rigamarole. Meanwhile AM is a pervert, RM is a postwoman, WV is a pistraction. Seriously why are the chapters divided like this. Who decided where they cut off. Was it Hussie? Is it supposed to be a joke? It's not even particularly funny. All it does is make our job harder. Was this a future psy-op specifically to...2021-03-0833 minSburban SprawlEpisode 25 Act 3 Chapter 9: Homestuck 2 Is Dead, Long Live PsycholonialsThis week is an tumultuous one as several big events rock the Homestuck world at once. The chums discuss the (seeming?) end of Homestuck 2 alongside the surprise beginning of Hussie's newest baby: Psycholonials. Afterwards they move on to a particularly terrible reading! Hackles get raised this time, folks. John gets perverted, Dave gets racist, Rose gets annoying.
Intro and Outro Music:
Carefree Victory by Mark Hadley, Andrew Huo and Toby Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/carefree-victory-3
2021-02-221h 02Sburban SprawlEpisode 24 Act 3 Chapter 8: Fusion SkankingThe Chums finally get a break as the comic throws them a discussion-worthy bone and they have some genuinely complimentary things to say about the comic! Wow! John has some fun, Jade answers some questions, Rose is... somewhere probably. Plus an unofficial third segment as the chums design a game! These ideas are already copyright us you cannot steal them.
Additional Listening:
Versus by Toby "Radiation" Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/versus-2
Contention by Bill Bolin https://soundcloud.com/soundstuck1/homestuck-vol4-06-contention
Intro and Outro Mu...2021-02-1557 minSburban SprawlEpisode 23 Act 3 Chapter 7: Driver's Licenses Please Don't StealThis week the chums are lulled into a deep slumber by the chill beats of nothing happening. Instead they talk about politics or some bullshit it's probably not important to the future. John confronts his unconsciousness, Jade continues to sleep, Hussie snoozes through the plot. Don't worry something interesting happens next week I promise.
Additional Listening:
The Beginning of Something Really Excellent by Robert J! Lake https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/the-beginning-of-something-really-excellent-2
Guardian V2 by Bill Bolin https://soundcloud.com/soundstuck1/homestuck-vol4-05-guardian-v2
Intro and Outro Mu...2021-02-081h 03Sburban SprawlEpisode 22 Act 3 Chapter 6: The Bonus Beandad RoomWelcome, colonists. This week the chums find themselves off the beaten path yet again as the comic continues to do its... thing. John has a fakedown, Rose has a rock dropped on her oversized noggin, and Jade goes to sleep. Same, Jade. But you're not here for that bullshit you're here for discussion of games that came out 2 years ago and 11 years ago, respectively. We know nothing if not what the audience truly wants out of a podcast about homestuck.
Additional Listening:
Hardlyquin by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/hardlyquin-3
Mutiny by Bill B...2021-01-251h 20
Sburban SprawlEpisode 21 Act 3 Chapter 5: TrilbystuckThis week the chums are shocked blind by incredible revelations about John's dad. Click here to be shocked! Be sure to wear a girdle to keep your sides unsplit, too. Also: Jade fails to find a dog, we meet someone who definitely isn't a character from both a better comic and a better intermission, and that's it. There is no third thing that happens this week. Next week doesn't look good either. Plus, the chums find themselves drawn once again to the brackish waters of mspa fan-ventures. Thanks reddit.
Additional Listening:
Revelawesome by Malcolm Brown h...2021-01-2045 minSburban SprawlEpisode 20 Act 3 Chapter 4: Pawful ModcastersThis week the chums blah blah blah I'm going to be honest I just finished my winter break from this podcast and I forgot to schedule it to upload until midnight on Sunday. If I go back to edit this to be more professional consider it a privilege you've been afforded. We meet a new wandering friend, Jade wastes time, John wastes time, Rose wastes time, we all get a little older. Happy new year.
Additional Listening:
Chorale for Jaspers by Michael Guy Bowman https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/chorale-for-jaspers-3
Pony C...2021-01-1148 minSburban SprawlEpisode 19 Act 3 Chapter 3: Outer HussiesIt's a tough week for the chums as they make like a data tree and leaf for greener pastures. Several yawn-worthy fight scenes play out, Rose gets some exposition we didn't need, and we once again learn about stairs. Then the chums get in an extensive conversations about the merits of Fallout games and Outer Worlds. It has nothing to do with the comic but we had a fun time talking about it let us have this.
Additional Listening: Beatdown Round 2 by Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/beatdown-round-2-3
In...2020-12-141h 10Sburban SprawlEpisode 18 Act 3 Chapter 2: Michigan CarbombThis week the chums are assaulted by a wall of sight and sound as the comic reminds them of all the hanging plot threads it still hasn't bothered to resolve. Hussie wastes everyone's time, Jade wastes her own time, John gets his ass kicked, Dave gets his ass kicked, and everyone gets creepypasta'd.
Additional Listening:
Gardener by Robert J! Lake with arrangement by Steve Everson https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/gardener-2
Showtime Remix by Malcolm Brown with remix by Gabe Nezovic https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-remix-3
Aggrieve Remix by...2020-11-301h 06Sburban SprawlEpisode 17 Act 3 Chapter 1: Dawn of the Third Act, 72,000 Hours RemainChime the bells for it is the dawning of a new act! The chums get introduced to a brand new character (finally) and all of her many fun and interesting hobbies and of course instantly all fall in love with her because she's so cool. This has been a simulation of what it'd be like if this podcast was run by the gestalt consciousness of Reddit.
Intro and Outro Music: Carefree Victory by Mark Hadley, Andrew Huo and Toby Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/carefree-victory-3
2020-11-2358 minSburban SprawlEpisode 16 Act 2 Chapter 11: SizzlinThe chums breathe a sigh of relief as they make it to the end of yet another act and decide to talk about internet archiving instead of whatever closes out this narrative arc. It's just more vagabond and vague foreshadowing, honestly.
Bonus Fun: The Unofficial Homestuck Collection https://bambosh.github.io/unofficial-homestuck-collection/
Additional Listening:
Vagabounce by David Ko https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/vagabounce-3
Explore by George Buzinkai and Michael Guy Bowman https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/explore-3
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Ma...2020-11-091h 09Sburban SprawlEpisode 15 Act 2 Chapter 10: Gimme 100 SignsRejoice! The chums draw close to the end of act 2, and the only thing that stands in their way is a deep, personal look at our favorite avatar of the author's hand: the Winding Vagrant or whatever. Then they finally find their places in the extended cosmos with a quiz. How will they deal with having all their inner mechanics laid so bare? This is more intrigue than the comic provides!
Bonus Fun: The Extended Zodiac Quiz http://hs.hiveswap.com/ezodiac/index.php
Additional Listening: Upward Movement (Dave Owns) by Ro...2020-10-191h 02Sburban SprawlEpisode 14 Act 2 Chapter 9: RehabillitationThis week the chums get deep in it with the drama as they learn the true history of Homestuck's most maligned music artist. And then because they get easily distracted they look at Homestuck fan projects and are introduced to the amusing horror of the extended zodiac.
Additional Listening:
Skaian Dreams (Remix) by Bill Bolin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGkfkiaPoV0
John Sleeps - Skaian Magicant by Malcolm Brown, Mark Hadley, and Toby Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/john-sleeps-skaian-magicant-2
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp St...2020-10-0557 minSburban SprawlEpisode 13 Act 2 Chapter 8: The Wizarding World of Hussie PotterHey and welcome to Fuck Wizards the wizard hate cast, fuck wizards. Not to be confused with Fuck-Wizards, the wizard fan cast. This week the chums aren't given much by the comic itself, so instead they do a deep dive into the symbology of puppets and one of Hussie's earlier works of magic: a curiously racist mock-em-up of a dumb wizard book.
Content warning for racism.
Additional reading: https://mrcheeze.github.io/andrewhussie/comic.html?comic=wizardology (cw: racism)
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Br...2020-09-2136 minSburban SprawlEpisode 12 Act 2 Chapter 7: Absolutely TwistedWelcome back to your regularly scheduled pain! This week the chums, er, I mean BOSOM FRIENDS, don't feel very welcomed by a comic, I mean PICTURED STORY, that doesn't seem to like them very much. They find themselves confronted with repeating jokes, ancient jokes, repeating jokes, and a continued complete lack of humour or even things happening. I would put some kind of SAW joke here but I have too much self-respect.
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3
2020-09-1437 minSburban SprawlEpisode 11 Act 2 Chapter 6: Oops All SeriousThis week the comic refuses to provide the jokes to the chums so they don't either, instead having a frank, and frankly overdue, discussion on homophobia, the internet, fandom, projecting your values onto creators you like, and the gay singularity. Please have higher standards, you deserve better.
Content Warning for homophobia from 43:00 to 45:13, and discussion of homophobia throughout
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3
2020-08-171h 21Sburban SprawlEpisode 10 Act 2 Chapter 5: I Warned You About Sbahj, BroLiterally nothing happens in this week's reading, so the chums take a nice break by reading through the entirety to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff (whatever's officially free online at least). Is it as good as they remember, or has time taken the shine off the teacup? You have pattern recognition you can probably guess.
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3
Terrible Mario Paint remix by Dijon Du Jour
2020-08-1047 minSburban SprawlEpisode 9 Act 2 Chapter 4: Homophobic PuppetsIt was a really great painting. Well, less of a painting and more of a poster. But it was a really great poster. The wizard looked like a really stereotypical wizard in a robe and floppy magic nightcap but the dragon was really weird and willowy. The wizard was standing on a hill holding his staff up and there was lightning coming down like KRAK-BOOM but the lightning wasn't directed at the dragon or anything I think the dragon and the wizard were on speaking terms. And every night this giant poster hung at the head of my bed...2020-07-2751 minSburban SprawlEpisode 8 Act 2 Chapter 3: HomeownersThe chums once again find themselves mired in strife and flash interactions as they brace for an impact of an infodump-y variety. Until then they take the time to learn about electrical engineering (thanks heave), the finer points of strife allocation (thanks heave), and the very nature of experimental storytelling formats (no thanks dijon). There's only one thing that can save them, though, and that's to become that which disgusts them most.
There are some new Hussies in town.
Plus: Goodreads reviews? And a special surprise
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by...2020-07-201h 15Sburban SprawlEpisode 7 Act 2 Chapter 2: We Have To Talk About DaveOh my god, is that Dave? Who invited Dave to the party I thought we agreed like not to tell him about it! Ugh he's gonna spend like the WHOLE night talking about his sword collection and trying to get the DJ to play his mix CD. Hey, be a dear and like go put the vodka away you know how homophobic Dave is when he gets drunk and starts going on about being like "two-raced in his soul" or whatever and like I am NOT letting him scare away the lacrosse team tonight this sorority is SUNK if...2020-07-131h 33Sburban SprawlEpisode 6 Act 2 Chapter 1: In Loving Memory of Racist Tentacle ManAct 2 starts with a flashbang as the chums are thrown into the void of overly-long scene setting. It's okay though because Hussie sweeps them into his manly arms and just carries them through the story and directly into his DeviantArt so they can see his cool OCs. Meanwhile Rose just continues to get worse like christ she was already terrible but she keeps finding new barrels and new bottoms Dave isn't even here yet and I hate all these people so much aaaAAAAAAAA
Content warning for racism
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George...2020-07-061h 05Sburban SprawlEpisode 5 Act 1 Chapter 6: Goth Hussie GFWe made it, the final chapter. Of act 1. Of like a billion. But what's most important is that the chums live in their moment of success as they finally get introduced to a new kid who.... wait... no never mind she's just as bad as the last one. At least her mom fucking owns holy shit I mean have you seen those wizards god damn.
Note: JK Rowling gets brought up more than a few times in this episode in comparison to Hussie. This was recorded before she went full mask-off terf and comparisons to her began...2020-06-221h 38Sburban SprawlEpisode 4 Act 1 Chapter 5: This Episode Does Not ExistDay XX Month XX
This morning I woke up to find a file called "sburbspr_chap_5.wav" on my desktop. But... everyone knows Homestuck act 1 doesn't have a fifth chapter where nothing happens except Hussie tutorializes the basic mechanics of a fake game. I would remember the chums being given so little comic meat they're forced to talk at length about Homestuck's utter failings as a whole so far. I hope I don't get haunted by a marketable character when I click on it... Okay here goes nothi
Intro and Outro Music: Harlequin by Mark...2020-06-151h 12Sburban SprawlEpisode 3 Act 1 Chapters 3 and 4: Terminal Poster's BrainThings get spicy among the chums in this special-edition XXL episode as the comic FINALLY gets around to the whole plot thing and we get introduced to the mechanics(?) of Sburb. Everyone's getting restless and tempers flare in the arena of Sylladex before everyone rightfully remembers who the real enemy is: pacing.
Intro and Outro Music: Harlequin by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/harlequin-3
Additional Listening:
Showtime (Original Mix) by Malcom Brown https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-original-mix-3
Sburban Jungle by Michael Guy Bowman https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/sburban-jungle-3
2020-06-081h 00Sburban SprawlEpisode 2 Act 1 Chapter 2: The World's Most Expensive ZineThe chums are introduced to the strife specibus, harlequins, some genuinely nice music, and this underground figure known as "Betty Crocker". Shortly after having a collective breakdown over the absolute thin gruel they've been given. Look I... I promise things start happening soon just tough it out okay.
Plus: Homestuck Numerology
Intro and Outro Music: Harlequin by Mark Hadley
Additional Listening: Showtime (Piano Refrain) https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-piano-refrain-3
2020-05-2536 minSburban SprawlEpisode 1 Act 1 Chapter 1: Stuck At HomeIt's some kind of beginning as the chums delve into the first chapter of Homestuck and learn about its history as well as their own. Then it all goes to hell as they drown in opaque 90's references and impenetrable programmer jokes. It's gonna be a long project, folks.
Plus: The present future of Homestuck???
2020-05-1842 min