Shows
The Upchuck Theater PodcastTwixt - Coppola's Continual DownfallAaron and Dustin barely make it through Francis Ford Coppola's Twixt film from 2011.
It's been so long since we've uploaded anything so here's hoping you people still have some love in your hearts for us!
2025-04-1452 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastMa? Upchuck says NA.Welcome back folks - After a too long hiatus, here's some good old movie nonsense - no nostalgia here except for wistfully wishing we had the roughly 3 hours of our lives back dealing with this. In Ma, instead of making something genuinely interesting, horrifying, or statement based, we get 30 old vendettas and some...questionable painting skills. Sigh.
We did this episode remotely, and yes Dustin does his best Chris Klein impression due to sound on Zoom.
Hope the reruns have kept you entertained while we've been away. Here's to many more ep...
2020-06-281h 002019-05-2838 min
The Upchuck Theater PodcastKraa! The Sea Monster -- Our Kind of Bad/Upchuck Theater CrossoverHi All,
Dustin here. Apologies for lack of content updates, but it has been a busy year not allowing the Upchuck team to be united often. We will get everyone caught up with Season 2 and the Annual Chuckies soon and back on track with Season 3 shortly as well.
Anyway in the meantime, myself (and my lovely fiancée, Christy) teamed up with our friends from the Our Kind of Bad Podcast, Dom and Sara to bring you the 1998 Kaiju/Schlockbuster Kraa! The Sea Monster. I admit to owning this disaster and call back to A...
2018-09-1443 min2018-05-2100 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastLove and Saucers featuring JayZippoEvery time Jay Zippo comes on the show, he one ups himself with horrible choices. In this episode we tackle our first documentary, Love and Saucers, about a guy who claims he's had encounters (mostly sexual) with aliens for over 50 years. Along the way he gets milked, has children, and works at a deli one shift per week.
This episode features an incredible amount of apathy by Aaron, space pontification by Rob, Dustin is... Dustin, and Jimmy is giddy. Part standard Upchuck fare, part science experiment, we hope you enjoy this edition to our collection, sporadic as...
2018-04-221h 05The Upchuck Theater PodcastFeb 22, 2018 Aaron off the cuffAaron rambles on about a ton of content he's consumed of late after a frustrating day and evening. Taylor Sheridan films, actors you can't stand but acknowledge a good performance from, and a lot more Jake Gyllenhaal than he likes to admit.
2018-02-2330 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastBlade Runner 2049 - Incept Date Off the Cuff**This pod opens with a promo from our good friends The Subject Tonight - give them a follow and a listen!
A rambling, all over the place episode with just Rob and Aaron - we discuss Blade Runner 2049 - a movie we were both fearful of.
Being huge fans of the original, we both felt a sequel unnecessary so much so in fact that the movie was not watched in the movie theater.
But we both loved it. A beautiful and expecptional film by Denis Villeneuve (Sicario, Prisoners) with Ryan Gosling and Harrison...
2018-02-221h 31The Upchuck Theater PodcastTruth or Consequences N.M. - Episode 21This episode sees the guys dealing with home grown hero Vincent Gallo and the truly awful Keifer Sutherland helmed vehicle Truth or Consequences N.M. A completely inept film, it's hard for the gang to remain interested.
Taking up entirely too much time is Aaron evoking the spirit of Gallo reading from the very same's website and his offering of himself to be someone's not dad... well just listen. This is a real stinker, and we're not even that fond of our own episode.
Listen for a plug for our new friends the M.A...
2018-01-1053 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastMillennium - Episode 20We're bacccck!!
Happy New Year. We've got a bunch of episodes that will hopefully be coming fast and furious and this is the start.
Kris Kristofferson helms this awful, should have been Lifetime Movie, Millennium. This is definitely one of the worst movies we've watched yet, the ineptitude in all categories, the bad look, Kris Kristofferson, Dustin's admittance of sweater vests, Kris Kristofferson, and more.
Rob makes a claim that Alien is not a Sci-fi film. Thoughts?
Kris Kristofferson is awful in this trash.
DISCLAIMER - We typically ramble...
2018-01-0251 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastMicrowave Massacre - Episode 19In this episode, our poorly drawn farce is forced to watch an ever poorer drawn farce. Microwave Massacare is truly an awful movie, probably the most inanely made film we've watched in our time doing this.
With a poor imitation of Rodney Dangerfield at the helm, even strange looking breasts and cannibalism can't save this nonsense. We debated even airing this episode because we were afraid that our energy was so low it might drag everything down, the pod surprisingly stays pretty active. No really. Aaron listens to all of them and edits (sort of) and he...
2017-09-2455 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastVibrations - Episode 18Episode 18 takes to the awful world of Vibrations - An absolute piece of trash starring James Marshall and Christina Applegate, about a handless doofus who becomes an electronica superstar... right.
This one is horrible, and you probably haven't heard of it. With good reason.
If you like this episode give us a uh... HAND. A lot of hands.
I don't really feel like typing much more.
I said I wouldn't like this, but if you're so inclined, give this goofball a read on uproxx
Thanks as always for listening...
2017-07-301h 15The Upchuck Theater PodcastAaron and Dustin Take New Orleans off the cuffIn this episode, (around June 1st) Aaron and Dustin recap their not so epic trip to the Big Easy, New Orleans.
From cheap sandwiches to ball soup style heat to rain, rain, and more rain to...well. They recap their trip and all the different things that were done, eaten, and more.
For Captain George's swamp tour: Happiness Bayou Tours
2017-07-2252 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastRed Sonya - Episode 17It's been a long long time. Way too long. Deepest apologies to everyone that enjoys what we do here. It's been a very trying, busy, and difficult few months for everyone involved. From good things like going on vacations and new vehicels to bad things like tons of money and frustration and people with no driving license ruining our vehicles precepiating us needing new vehicles -- anyways.
We have our 2nd guest on this episode, Jay Zippo, all around good dude, Fallout 4 modder, Let's Play extraordinaire and someone who actually listens to our show. And James brings...
2017-07-081h 17The Upchuck Theater PodcastAlien Covenant - Theater Nonsense*******SPOLIERS*******In this off the cuff but feature length episode, Aaron and Rob recount their awful experience at the theater this past weekend seeing Alien: Covenant. They remember what makes the Alien franchise special (that is not in this movie) and so they break down the nonsense plot and the banality of the story. Michael Fassbender puts in another fine performance in a dual role, but his scenes oddly enough are the most drab and boring sequences.
The mythos and evolution of the Xenomorph is an affront to Dan O'Bannon and everything he created.
Utter...
2017-05-261h 02The Upchuck Theater PodcastUpchuck Theater Off the Cuff - IMDb 30 Day ChallengeGreetings Upchuckers!
This was posted a little bit late, but in this unofficial episode, Dustin, Aaron & Rob all take a stab at an IMDb Challenge that asked the following questions. Here is the link that will show those questions. Unsurprisingly Aaron is disgusted with a majority of Dustin's choices and corrects his favorite movie's release year for him. Although favorite films seem to dominate this list, in typical Upchuck Fashion there are some films that are brought up that even all of the Upchuck crew refuse to watch again (or may watch again in a future episode...
2017-05-191h 39The Upchuck Theater PodcastSt. Patty's Day Nonsense x2!So this is our Saint Patrick's Day episode...released on Mother's Day. In May. Almost 2 months to the day later.
First and foremost, thank you to all the loving mother's out there. You have more than just a tough job. Without you, there is no life. Or terrible movies.
Secondly, your support is and has always been great. But if you haven't yet, would you consider giving us a review and a follow if you've liked anything about what goes on here? You can do that in the following places:
Facebook // Twitter // iTunes...
2017-05-1452 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastRollerball - Episode 15In this episode, we watch one of our most divisive episodes yet - the 2002 horro show that is Rollerball. A remake of a 1975 gritty James Caan classic, the new Rollerball is stupid, poorly done, and a Rob favorite. Appealing to Rob's love of bad schlock, we also see Dustin (in possibly his most annoying turn yet) always willing to be leinent, and Aaron in his usual utter disgust.
Rollerball was a flop, and sent its direct John McTiernan to jail. This is the same guy that directed Predator and Die Hard. Then he did this garbage with...
2017-05-061h 00The Upchuck Theater PodcastAaron off the cuff on his epic 10v10 film lossSee the initial lists here
Aaron talks about his epic failure in a 10 v 10 film list on twitter. Paul Mackie orchestrated an epic showdown between 2 people at a time... and boy does Aaron get murdered. Everyone involved thought that it would be closer but Jordan runs away with it. What's funny about the whole sitaution is how close they really are in some ways, but Jordan loves the sequels and Aaron likes the original films.
There may or may not be a mini Dark Knight rant somehwere in here, albeit fairly calm. Yecccck.
...
2017-04-1738 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastMannequin - Episode 14Special guest star: Drunken Rob
In this episode, the guys tackle an absolutely attrocious ball of nonsense that drives Rob to drink. The Andrew McCarthy / Kim Cattrall helmed Mannequin. Though we possess undying love for Kim Cattrall, it's not even close to enough to save this from the trash heap. McCarthy stumbles through as he usually does in everything, looking awkward and playing a bizarre goofball who... falls in love with a mannequin.
Watch the terrible music video for Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now HERE
To watch an APPROPRIATE reaction to this movie...
2017-04-081h 06The Upchuck Theater PodcastFinal Fantasy The Spirits Within - Episode 13In this episode, with the release several months back of Final Fantasy XV, we tackle the first ever Final Fantasy animated feature The Spirits Within. This one...is really terrible. Listening back through it for quality purposes, it's actually one of the better discussions about the actual film instead of being jerks, and we really get into the flaws of it and what went wrong. This one hits home hard particularly for Rob, given his intense passion for the Final Fantasy series.
It's still funny though.
To read the article by Jake Young we mention...
2017-04-0154 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastAaronsan and Robaru do Battle Royale!In an off the cuff that becomes more like a full on episode (and to cover up the fact that Aaron has been slacking on the standard episodes),Aaron and Rob tackle Battle Royale, the 2000 Japanese classic that still turns head with its controversy. In a dystopian Japan, lawlessness by the youth is so out of control that the Battle Royale initiative is put into effect - a classroom of kids are dumped on an island... and kill each other.
With excellent acting including the legend Takeshi "Beat" Kitano, the extended director's cut adds 8 minutes to the...
2017-03-2646 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastMar 16, 2017 Aaron off the cuffAaron rambles on for a few about Proxy, Blood Simple, Black Mass, and Dead of Winter. 3 out of 4 are highly recommended. He tells us what he thinks Harrison Ford's best films are... What are your thoughts? As always thanks for listening and please subscribe and share!
2017-03-1723 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastSucker Punch - Episode 12Well it's taken a while but our official episodes are back. Our first official episode of the 2nd season sees us watch the utter garbage given to the world by Zack Snyder... Sucker Punch. A 'female empowerment' movie of Snyder's sexy party fantasies is a contender for worst overall film we've upchucked so far. With a performance by Oscar Issac and his two first names that's cringeworthy at best we got to a point where we needed to be... a little edited on this one.
Apparently there's a new thing out there called plot coupons... and remember...
2017-03-121h 04The Upchuck Theater PodcastDon't Hang Up - With Aaron and Dustin Off the CuffWith Rob on the sidelines recovering from a nasty cold and Aaron only able to tolerate Dustin for a short amount of time given the scope of his lies as exposed in the latest uploads, the duo tackles an utter pile of vomit in Don't Hang Up.
When 2 dude bros act like total jackholes and then pay for it by a ninja bent on revenge, you get a pile of garbage crammed into 90 minutes with a few good camera angles and a few ha ha moments.
This one really sucked. Come hate it with us!
2017-02-2827 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastTuff Turf Pt II - Aaron Retorts!!! Game on Dustin...game on. Aaron expresses his own views and reveals the FACTS about Less than Zero, Dustin's lack of checking Wikipedia, and that Witness is the best film Harrison Ford has ever done.
What will he rate it? Listen and find out!!
Apologizes for some of my mouth breathing and raspy Kim Richards like voice I'm recovering from a cold. Rest assured the melodious tones will be back soon enough!
2017-02-1535 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastDustin's Tuff Turf Off the Cuff - Part 1
Bringing you an awful off the cuff examination of the James Spader vomit vehicle of 1985, my birth year. What started out as an okay foray of entertainment on a Monday evening, turned into a roller coaster of utter nonsense accented through over the top character reactions and cliched plot devices. Stay for the soundtrack but skip the rest of the nonsense if you dare to watch. An afterword and open challenge is issued to Aaron to bring a retort episode on this trash. Will his love of Less Than Zero cloud his judgement? Will Dustin forgive anything less...
2017-02-1232 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastSeason 1 Finale - The 1st annual ChuckiesWell, we did it. We did a whole freaking season of this nonsense. Well sort of I mean we only started in July or August. We don't even remember when we started can you believe that? What kind of morons don't remember when they started doing something?
With this upload we bring to you the season 1 recap and finale. This episode runs a little longer, but we thought our jokes were funny so we let it go. We're already into season 2 recording wise and plan on keeping them coming.
We also bring in this episode...
2017-02-061h 26The Upchuck Theater PodcastReindeer Games - Episode 10Our last episodic session of Season 1 sees us with our first guest, Aaron's childhood friend Eric. He brings with him a doozy in Reindeer Games, a truly awful Ben Affleck vehicle that was the last film of John Franknheimer's directorial career - then he died. Also with repeat offender Charlize Theron (though she's actually not awful here) and Gary Sinese slumming with wampum safes and convicted felon Dana Stubblefield. This one is awful, but we're proud of it.
As always please review, please share, please subscribe! We've broken 500 downloads, here's to many many more! We a...
2017-02-021h 08The Upchuck Theater PodcastGhosts of Mars - Episode 9Our 9th official episode features the absoulte nonsense that is John Caprenter's Ghosts of Mars. This one is especially painful given all three of us are massive Carpenter fans be it Assault on Precinct 13, The Thing, Escape from New York, They Live, and more. This one made Carpenter shun making a large film for a decade and with good reason...it's awful. There's nothing witty we can even say about it.
As always thanks for listening and please share, subscribe, and give us some feedback!
2017-02-0259 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastBus Driver - Episode 8On this official 8th installment... His job was to drive them. His mission is to save them. We bring you the most current film we've reviewed so far, Bus Driver (2016). When a ragtag bunch of misfit teenagers and their ridiculous track suited chaperone get in with the God Damned Bus Driver and things go sour, he's the only one to bring them home safely. Meth, flashbacks, shift sticks, and gun fu all play a part. You'll be a little surprised through this one. Let us know what you think!
As always please give us a l...
2017-01-1659 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastAaron off the cuff review of 4 films from 2001 and back.Aaron on The Duelists, American Gigolo, Bully, and Perfect Blue. Ridley Scott, Paul Schrader, and Larry Clark. Thanks as always for listening and please subscribe and share!
2017-01-1622 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastEye for an Eye Episode 7Our 7th episode sees us viewing the 1996 thirller Eye for an Eye starring Sally Fields, Keifer Sutherland, and Ed Harris. With the emotional nonsense of a Limetime movie, it's the story of one of the coldest most awful mothers in movie history deciding she wants revenge on the killer of her daughter in Los Angeles.
The credits include a group of people known as 'Parents of Dead Children' amongst other wonders of modern movie cinema. In a pre 24 film, thermal wearing Keifer plays Robert Doob, who has the quickest murder trial in history. We see he's a...
2017-01-081h 07The Upchuck Theater PodcastJan 4, 2017 Aaron and the New YearAn impromptu Terminator tangent. Shut Eye on Hulu. Rogue One and 3d. Thanks for listening and please subscribe and share!
2017-01-0517 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastDec 26, 2016 Aaron off the cuff with his weekend viewings.Weekend vegetation lends for some brief musings on Hitchcock, Yul Brenner, David Lynch, and more.
Hope everyone had a great holidaynin whatever form you choose.
2016-12-2614 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastAlone in the Dark Episode 6This episode (recorded around Halloween) is a hands down universal non-accliamed episode. Sure to be a fan favorite, we review the thing that happened that is the film Alone in the Dark.
We tie into Street Fighter a lot, as well as hear some words of wisdom from the man himself Uwe Boll. Christian Slater becomes our first repeat guest on the pod and we really have some fun with this one.
This is a truly awful movie. No really this one is bad. Based on the groundbreaking game series that helped pave the way...
2016-12-261h 01The Upchuck Theater PodcastHouse on Haunted Hill - Episode 5On this episode we explore The House on Haunted Hill - the remake from 1999. This is definitely the worst Upchucked film to date. Starring Geoffrey Rush, Famke Jansen, and Taye Diggs amongst others, we are invited into a pre-teen Halloween party where people end up dead. The movie continues our already longstanding tradition with Castle productions. Surprisingly, Dustin doesn't rate this one a 2 on our Vomitous Scale. Against an estimated budget of just under 20 million. the movie took in over 40 at the box office, clearly showing Chris Kattan's showstopping ability. Pregnant doors, loganberry, and squirt guns abound. It's SPOOOOOKYYYY!
2016-12-121h 03The Upchuck Theater PodcastNov 20, 2016 Nonsense on the go with Aaron going rogue!Aaron gives an off the cuff review of Judge Dredd (1995) and Burn After Reading by the Coen Brothers. As always thanks for listening! Please consider subscribing and giving us a review on wherever you listen to us through.
2016-11-2018 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastThir13en Ghosts - Episode 4In Episode 4 the trio tackles Thir13en Ghosts, an abomination of a remake of an old Vincent Price movie. Since these descriptions are always written by Aaron, it's an abomination. We find what will probably become a theme between Aaron and Dustin in their vastly different stances on some of the Upchuck Library. We're joined in spirit by musical artist Tricky, and really dig into how this movie had something interesting at its core...but ultimately fails.
Except in the eyes of Dustin. You decide. Let us know what you think. Find us on Facebook, T...
2016-11-171h 06The Upchuck Theater PodcastThe Astronaut's Wife Episode 3In this edition of The Upchuck Theater Podcast we take on the Rand Ravage masterpiece The Astronaut's Wife starring Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron. We also try to be more professional with an OUTRO as well as an intro!!! Aaron and Dustin debate the use of CCTV, we find out where warmth comes from, and we lament the fact that this garbage ever got made.
Please give us a listen, a share, and subscribe through Podbean, iTunes, Stitcher, and more!
2016-11-061h 10The Upchuck Theater PodcastOct 29, 2016 Aaron & Dustin on the Road. The Neon Demon and Lights Out.On their way back from Cleveland, Aaron and Dustin riff in the car on The Neon Demon and Lights Out in the first Vomit off the Cuff mobile edition.
This episode is different in the sense that only 2 of us were in the car, and we weren't regurgitating immediately after viewing. Dustin and Aaron had watched Neon Demon the night before, and Lights Out shortly before getting back on the road.
The episode is also not in the traditions UCT is being known for as it's a little more thoughtful critique as opposed to out...
2016-10-2945 minThe Upchuck Theater PodcastUpchuck 2 - Broken ArrowEpisode 2 brings us to the epic disaster that is Broken Arrow. Loud, stupid, and just poorly done, we felt sympathy for John Woo trying to bring his special breed of cinema to an American cast. The results? Disastrous.
We had gone down a long list of possible candidates for this one, but in keeping true to what we want to try and do as our main theme, we kept rejecting ideas based on if someone else had done it that we knew of, or something that was just a little too obscure. We want to be able...
2016-10-251h 11The Upchuck Theater PodcastInaugural Upchuck - Ghost ShipIn our first episode, we watch and violate our minds with the masterpiece Ghost Ship starring Gabriel Byrne, Julianna Margulies, and Isaiah Washington. Ghost ship provides an opening sequence opening massacre listed as #13 on Bloody Disgusting's list of "The Top 13 Kills in Horror Movie History".
Looking back on this episode we realize how in just a short time what an awful rabbit hole we've really fallen into with some of these movies. This one is actually a gem compared to future viewings.
The original concept and script apparently are vastly different from what the cast...
2016-10-231h 16